AN- Hi everyone, sorry for the long wait. After my seasonal job, I had to prioritize refilling my "cup", and in that process, I ended up starting several more stories (about 70k words of other stories but who's counting?). But, I love writing, and I love this story, so I'll do my best to get more consistent, or at least more frequent.
The story has undergone some changes since the last new chapter, specifically I changed from first to third person. I am currently flying beta-less (minus my sister who unfortunately, has a life outside of fanfiction) so if you see errors, from the bottom of my heart: my bad. I fully anticipate just editing again and again until it's exactly how I like it, but the story won't really change. Also, I will delete these long ANs later, I just wanted to explain myself to those who were kind enough to sign up for alerts when I post.
I have also recently been made aware that I've been skipping a somewhat expected courtesy of responding to reviews. I want you to know that I read and re-read all of them, and even sometimes tell my sister about them. I will start trying to respond from now on, thank you.
Now for the coolest news in the world! I am writing this from Port Angeles Washington! It would have been Forks but I didn't get good enough signal and I was too busy spending an embarrassing amount of money on merch. Anyway back to Battered Bloom!
Today, Bella looked at him. She said hi, she even smiled at him, once or twice.
It was definitely twice. First when I sat down, then when I teased her.
When Edward got home that night, there was a thrumming in his heart, a lightness that he hadn't felt in quite some time. He immediately went to the highest floor of the house. Officially it was the music room, a public place, but unofficially it was almost entirely Edward's. The only other family member to have learned the piano was Rosalie, but these days she only ever played to keep her skills sharp.
His mind was swimming, as it seems it always did when he thought of Bella. For the past few days it had felt like she was ignoring him, but today… Today something had changed. He had no idea what it was. All he knew was that it had made her actually acknowledg him. It felt almost normal. Bella still seemed like a ghost of herself, but of course he didn't know how she was normally, all these years later, so who was he to say?
Edward closed the door behind himself and dropped his backpack next to it. It had been a while since he'd played, and he found himself curling and uncurling his fingers in preparation for the the hours he would likely be glued to the bench.
He sat down at the piano and wished for perhaps the thousandth time that the room had been soundproofed. Not that it would really help, the vibrations seemed to reach even the far corners of the house. His family was unfortunately always aware of his playing because of it, but no one was as aware as his mother. If he played too much, she was worried, knowing that he used it as an outlet. If he played too little she was even more worried, either that he was bottling something up, or that he had lost his passion.
When Edward's fingers touched the keys, he began the warmups that he had learned. His teacher would have chastised him for the posture and technique he was using now. She had complained that he had started playing before he could be taught, and that was why he kept reverting back to his own ways. Maybe that was true, but he found his own style to work better for him. When he had perfect technique, he felt too tense, too disconnected from the music. When he let himself loosen up, he had better instincts, and felt as though he was part of the music.
Slowly, he felt himself opening up to the piano, his thoughts focusing less on what he was playing, and more on how he was feeling. Edward started thinking back on his day, this time his thoughts a bit more organized, no longer crowding the front of his consciousness.
Bella had spoken a bit more in their English class, not going on a those tangents that Mrs Martin was always so eager to listen to, but Bella had still spoken more words in a row than Edward had heard from her since her return. She seemed a bit less curled in on herself, her head a little higher, though her voice was still too soft. Not quiet enough that she was asked to speak up, but enough that Mrs. Martin had to repeat Bella's point again for the rest of the class. He supposed her volume wasnt't unusual enough to be concerning.
Great, first you were obsessing over the volume of her words, and now you're obsessing about her volume period. Can't you just be normal Cullen?
Edward took a deep breath and let it out, putting the frustration into his notes, hitting the keys a bit harder than necessary.
But then Bella and Edward had Biology together.
Right when Edward entered biology and saw Bella, he could finally see the difference on her face. She didn't keep her head down, pretending he didn't exist, instead she greeted him with a small smile that set his pulse racing. He hadn't seen that smile in so long, he had almost forgotten it existed, and he had definitely forgotten how it made him feel. It was the same as when they were young. All of her smiles made him light up, but it was the small, almost secretive ones that affected him the most. They had always seemed so special, carefully created just for him, and it had immediately taken him back to magical days in the attic, book swapping, and secret sharing. High on nostalgia, Edward had sat down, nearly missing the stool.
It was a lab day, and for the first time, Edward was thankful for the school's low funding. He and Bella had to share a microscope, working together to identify the phases of mitosis. He identified the first slide, but instead of taking him at his word, Bella had asked if she could check. Of course Edward let her, and she agreed with his conclusion. Then, after Bella identified the next slide, Edward teased her, asking if he could check.
Her smile and blush took his breath away. Edward's ribs nearly broke from the strain of his heart swelling in his chest. They had continued like that for the rest of the class period. He wanted to have a conversation with her, to ask her what had changed, either when they were younger and she stopped talking to him, or now when she seemed ready to talk to him again.
All throughout she kept looking up at Edward furtively and quickly looking away. He had wanted to join her, turning it into a game like they had played as children, when they tried to pretend they weren't watching each other read. But there was a rigidity to her posture. It made him think of a guilty kid, trying desperately to pretend the small handprints of mud on the white couch weren't theirs while hiding their filthy hands behind their back. It was as though she expected Edward to lay into her at any moment.
For what? Was she thinking about the email? Did it haunt her the way it haunted him? He would have thought she had forgotten about it long ago, like he would have, had he not been so codependent on her. But she hadn't seemed guilty, or like she was trying to make up for something, like when Alice had left a cold drink on his piano bench, and smothered him with kindness before he found the water ring.
She seemed guilty… but not for some kind of slight against him. But then for what?
He was afraid. Both of her going back to pretending he didn't exist, that they had never been friends, and afraid of getting close to her again. Edward was terrified that he would start to know Bella again, and she would come to know him. Because if she knew him, and made the decision to leave him again, Edward didn't know if he could endure it.
His fingers slipped for a moment, his muscle memory tripping on his insecurity again.
But no, he wouldn't let himself fall back into that worrying.
Suddenly, like his name was called in a crowd, a tune pulled his focus. It was playing on repeat in his mind, begging to be brough to life. His fingers of course complied, and he finally realized what it was. It wasn't quite the simple tune that he had played when he was young, instead, making the first tune sound like a prelude for what he was warming up to.
Edward halted his playing, pulling his hands away, right before playing the tune again. Her tune.
The last notes of the tune began to fade, the reverberations disappearing into time like all of the memories he had tried to forget.
Edward took a breath in the silence, its sound shockingly loud against the lack of music. And then he began.
While his fingers stumbled over the notes, trying to relearn the pattern, his mind went through memories of Bella, the old Bella.
For years, Edward didn't let himself think of the tune, much less play it, because god, if someone heard him play it, they would surely think he was stuck on her. Or, they would know the truth, that he was, even if he didn't want to admit it. So instead, Edward had kept every part of Bella from even himself. Now, as though he had really and truly made himself forget the song and Bella, they didn't come to him as easily.
He kept getting rhythms wrong, and hitting wrong notes, despite the fact that the tune had played in his head only moments before. It was as though the clouds had parted for that briefest of moments, allowing him back to his own sunshine.
Whenever he got too fed up, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before jumping back into it. As he started to return to the tune, the thoughts of Bella became clearer, as though he was wiping away the years of anger and avoidance from them. Instead of seeing her actions in the worst light as he had done soon after the email, he remembered the way he felt around her. The way she brought him joy in his way, and comfort when he was doing things his siblings' way.
Because of her, he had found comfort in himself, learning that he wasn't broken for being unlike his siblings, because he was like her. Because of her, he hadn't spent his summers holed up in his room, instead, she had forced him to interact with his siblings. Because of her, he had kept up with piano when he got almost too frustrated to continue. Whenever he calmed down from his anger, all he could think about was mastering a song to play for Bella, and the way only the delight in her expression brought him pride, until he learned to feel it himself.
Even after that email shattered his heart, Edward still had a better relationship with his siblings, he still grew because of her influence.
When he had played again and again, perfecting the old tune, it was like his fingers gave up on continuing it. Normally, when he made up songs, it was almost as though the songs had written themselves. Sure there were some areas that would give him trouble, but it was more as though he was translating the song into notes, as opposed to just coming up with them himself.
Now though, the notes eluded him. He couldn't will a continuation, only the simple melody, playing again and again in his head. Every time he tried to find the next piece, the next few notes, his fingers seemed to hit the wrong keys, like they wanted to give up, they didn't want to force a progression. As though Bella's absence in his later memories were reflected in the lack of progression of the tune.
Edward eventually accepted the rejection from his fingers, which he knew came from his own heart. Looking out the window, he realized it had to have been a few hours, and he had certainly missed dinner. As he trudged downstairs he found a plate made up for him in the fridge.
He knew his mom desperately wanted to meddle, to bring him dinner and ask what was wrong, or just wait for him in the kitchen, but she had learned that didn't work for him. So she had simply prepared his dinner to show her love and support, and left him alone to sort through his thoughts. His heart warmed at her consideration.
As he watched the dinner turn round and round in the microwave, he forced his mind to think through the non-Bella parts of the day, of the week. There was no homework due tomorrow, and nothing that would build up to make him too busy tomorrow.
Sighing in relief, Edward took his food to his room, craving the relief of once again being behind a closed door.
That's how the rest of the week passed for Edward. During the day, he searched for the old Bella, and each day the new Bella got a slight bit friendlier. She wasn't talking to him like they were friends, and in fact, she was barely talking to him. The changes were small enough that don't know if anyone else would have noticed. But each time he saw a smile, or a flicker of amusement in her eyes, he felt a weight lifted off of him, like those years without her were slowly drifting away. He was able to feel the sting of her email fading with each look of familiarity she gave him.
Every night he rushed home, wanting to get to his piano before everyone else got home. He let his mind separate, and let his hands run wild. Sometimes he played her song, sometimes he played everything but. The sense of familiarity in the mindspace and the actions were soothing. The sense of not feeling comfortable in his body was gone. His worrying was gone.
By friday night, Edward knew his weekend would be different. He wouldn't spend his time worrying about Bella. He assumed she had just been really homesick. The two were already developing a bit of a relationship again. Edward had so much hope for the future that he was finally at peace. He prepared himself for a weekend of schoolwork, and daydreaming of getting closer to his old friend.
…
Bella spent what felt like hours Friday evening trying to build her confidence up. She, Bella Swan, would be attending a party. This was a test. She wanted to find out what this life was like. Maybe she was bad, but maybe she would just be bad, instead of trying to hold back.
She felt almost 13 again, but instead of googling how to kiss a boy while she and her friend were giggling at a sleepover, Bella was googling how to act at a party while alone, and talking herself in and out of going. Some references mentioned drinking, some even mentioned hooking up, which just about made her throw in the towel.
But, if girls like Angela, who Bella knew was good to the core, would go to something like this, then Bella knew the party couldn't be that bad. Right? Though, that didn't mean Phil would agree.
She leaned into the mirror, examining herself for something other than bruises. What would people see when she showed up? Would they think she was a normal girl, just going to a party? Or would they know she was wicked? Would girls know to stay away? Would boys know Bella was a perfect target?
Phil said yes. But Phil had been wrong recently. So far none of the bad things he said would happen, did.
Yet, her voice whispered to her. It didn't make sense why all of the evils she deserved would be held back, but it seemed somehow more likely than that they weren't coming at all.
Two days ago Bella had texted Angela that she would see her Friday night, her hands shaking as she typed. She told herself that if Phil could read her texts, this would be suspicious enough that he would check in, but that Bella would be able to say they would be working on a group project together. Her stomach flipfloped at the idea, knowing that the suspicion would lead to a consequence, and if he was able to tell that she was lying… well, Bella didn't know what he would do. She could barely make herself hit send, only once she had given herself a pep talk in the mirror, didn she manage, but she immediately dropped her phone, as though it were on fire.
Bella had been sick the next few days, waiting for Phil to find out, but so far… nothing. Bella kept looking at herself in the mirror. The image wasn't right, not for a girl about to attend a party, not for who she knew herself to be. The Bella she knew was gaunt, expressionless, barely tolerating being seen. The girl in the mirror was… normal. Or as normal as she could make herself look. She had hidden the dark circles under her eyes, her skill with concealer making them disappear into her dull, pasty skin. Her hair still looked lifeless, but she wasn't hiding behind it the way she normally did.
She thought about adding makeup, real makeup, so she would at least fit the role of the girl about to go to a party, but she didn't have any. Realistically, Bella wasn't sure she would have wanted to wear any makeup if she had any. Wouldn't she be asking for attention then? It was bad enough parading around like she was normal, it would only bring suffering if she dare try to make herself attractive.
At best, Bella would receive scorn from those who could see right through her masquerade, at worst… the men would see it as an open invitation. She shuddered.
Ok, definitely no makeup.
Bella checked her phone and decided it was time. Through her googling she had gotten a lot of conflicting advice about attending a party, but they had all agreed on one point; that you should never arrive right on time.
When she drove herself to the party Bella felt wild, out of control. Her phone was on vibrate, and she didn't know which she wished for more, that it would stay still to let her try out her new life, or that it would buzz and stop her from this insanity.
Charlie didn't mind her going, he'd even somewhat encouraged her to go. That was a reality she was still trying to wrap her mind around. The punishment if Phil found out was something that she'd been trying not to think about.
Angela had told Bella that they would be at Rialto Beach, and Bella was thankful most of the drive there was single roads with no chances to make a wrong turn. Once the trees broke, the endlessness of the ocean greeted her.
Bella pulled up to the beach, her ancient truck announcing her arrival to anyone who cared to notice over the sound of the music. If it hadn't been for her car backfiring, she may have sat in the truck all night, too scared to move.
"Bella!" Angela cried out, weaving around the fallen trees that separated the beach from the parking lot. Bella noticed she was shadowed by her boyfriend Ben. As Bella climbed out of her truck, she was crushed in Angela's surprisingly strong hug. Bella found herself expecting to panic, waiting for the usual response when she was touched without much warning. Instead of her usual tensing up, she was loose, her arms even going instinctively around Angela. Bella was more shocked and upset at her body's comfort than she was about the touching.
Angela leaned in and spoke quietly in Bella's ear "I know this is out of your comfort zone, so I won't leave your side the whole night until you leave." But Bella started shaking her head automatically.
"No, Angela, I can't ask you to do that."
"Why not? It wont really take from my night, I want you to have a good time." Angela looked truly earnest, and if she was honest with herself, Bella would love if there was someone safe glued to her side, but she couldn't let herself become a burden. Besides, wasn't that part of the experiment, to experience what others do?
Bella made herself speak "I'll be alright, maybe I'll take you up on it later?" Bella knew she wouldn't, not unless it was an absolute emergency.
Angela looked like she was about to protest but Jessica called to them from the other side of the fallen trees. The girls and Ben walked back to the larger group of people, and Bella was soon embraced by the bouncy brunette who thankfully didn't smell of alcohol.
"Bella! I'm so glad you came! You're going to have a great time, promise!" Before Bella could decipher if Jess was being genuine, the girl grabbed Bella's hand and lead them towards the camp fires, and Bella didn't miss Angela and Ben lagging behind.
The scene at the beach was so foreign to her. When Bella pictured teens at a beach, it was summer, and there was a volleyball court involved. Instead, people were in hoodies and coats, gathered around a main bon fire, with some smaller ones littered around. Some guys were a bit further down the beach, throwing a football back and forth, running after it at top speed, sending the wet sand and small rocks flying.
A few older guys were set up in front of a grill, handing out hotdogs and burgers. As Jess pulled Bella closer to the fires, she saw a few coolers full of beer and pop, being kept cold by what she suspected to be ocean water.
"There are kids from the Rez here too. Cops don't bother us out here, and the Tribal police don't either, so long as we clean up after ourselves and respect the space. So, if you have any trash, put it in one of the bins, and if you find any trash on the ground, punch the nearest person and make them throw it away." Jessica giggled and Bella couldn't help but grimace at the absurdity. She tried to turn it into a smile but Jess may have seen it anyway.
The idea of Bella punching someone? She'd learned to not be violent against anyone, even in self defense. The one time she broke that rule, she ended up here.
But here doesnt seem to be too bad.
Jessica went on to introduce Bella to a blur of faces, names not quite finding their place. Luckily, or unluckily, there was someone else there she knew.
Jake had been one of the guys throwing and catching, but when one of the passes took him a little too close to the fire, he noticed her.
"Bella!" Jacob called out, and she felt incredulity that he would both remember her, and seem to be happy to see her. She couldn't help but think the worst for why he was happy to see her. The fires made his wide smile glow, and he threw the football back towards the waiting guys, leaving them to their game. He matched a few of the other guys there, wearing cutoff jeans along with their hoodies, as though the cold was inconsequential.
"Hi Jake" Bella made herself choke out, and his smile only brightened.
"Didn't expect to see you here with the other pale faces," Jake joked, and Jess elbowed him smirking and rolling her eyes. "Does the Chief know you're here, is this about to start a feud between the families?" Jake dramatized his words and something about it almost brought a genuine smile to her face.
"He knows, but don't worry, he won't come following me." Jake looked like he was going to retort, but his football friends called for him to return, so he excused himself and returned to them.
It was an odd feeling to watch him jog away. The mix of relief and disappointment, relief that he didn't seem intent on hurting her, disappointed that his warm smile was gone.
Before she could think too much on it, Jessica brought Bella to the grill, where a large man was positioned, holding a spatula on one hand and a beer in the other. Jessica had a familiar encounter with the man at the grill, who Bella thought was named Paul. The big man smiled warmly and loaded up two plates for Jess and Bella. Jess thanked him profusely and lead Bella away from the curious stare of the man. Jess seated them towards the back of the group, as close as theycould get to one of the fires without getting engulfed in the crowd.
Jessica intermittently pointed out some of the teens to Bella, talking about her suspicions of the interactions they were having.
Bella learned a lot while she ate her burger. Not so much about the interpersonal relationships of her peers, but about how people like Jess thought, and how they viewed others.
While Jess suspected flirting, fighting, and feuding, at no point did the girl say anything what Bella would have expected to hear. If she had dared to predict the moment, she would have imagined Jessica sneering about someone much like Bella, if not Bella herself. In fact, the worst thing Jessica said was about a girl named Lauren, but all she said was that the girl always wanted male attention, and was rude to the other girls.
Bella thought about how someone like Phil may have described the girl. He would have growled, and said Lauren was a wicked girl, that she deserved punishment and pain. But Jessica didn't even sound too upset, or angry. She couldn't make sense of it. Clearly Lauren was a wicked girl like her, but either Jess didn't know, or didn't seem to care.
Eventually Jessica gathered their plates and Bella told her to go socialize without her, there was way too much happening for Bella, and she needed to clear her head.
Bella moved closer to the ocean and walked along the shore slowly. She examined the party. It was strange, seeing so many people there, and it was even stranger that she was there to see it. The beach she had visited alone felt so much larger, with her the sole witness of its splendor. But now, the beach and the ocean was nearly a background for the jubilation. Bella sent her silent appreciation through her feet and into the wet sand she stepped on.
She was freezing, but by the fires she couldnt observe and think about it all the way she really wanted to. Bella was approaching the area of the beach where the fallen trees and a few house sized boulders overtook the beach, leaving barely any room for walking.
Suddenly, out from behind a the boulder, she heard "Hey Bella, I was thinking that was you out here all alone. Its so good to see you!" she turned to see Mike Newton, and she internally cursed the loud crashing waves and her own awe, for making her unaware of his approach. He looked much the same as he did in school, but now he had a beer can clutched in his hand instead of the strap of his backpack. It didn't escape her notice that it was the same brand as Phil's beer.
"Yea, Angela convinced me." Bella choked out,
"I'll have to thank her personally. So how do you like it out here?" He swept his beer hand wobbly across the horizon, apparently encompassing the party and the beach itself.
"Its fine, a little loud, a little cold, but I don't mind it as much as I thought I would." To Bella's surprise, she realized she was telling the truth. She didn't understand why everyone enjoyed being there so much, but it was better than she expected. She had imagined groups of guys recognizing her as entertainment. She had imagined girls harassing her after realizing what she was. She even imagined Phil somehow showing up and ripping her away from her new, seemingly better life.
But so far, none of it was happening. Phil didn't seem to know, and the others must not have known how different she was, because they weren't pushing her out of their group. Instead people like Jess and Angela were taking her in.
"Ah, if you thought it was too loud, I understand why you moved away from everyone else a bit. Though you're lucky, out here there's more privacy, and I can keep you warm." The words created a sensation as cold as the ocean but not nearly as welcoming. Instead it slipped over her and made its way into her bones, freezing her in place. Maybe one thing Phil warned about was happening.
Though Mike appeared generally happy, not a hint of anger in his inebriated eyes, he still reached his arm around her, turning away from the party. Despite the layers, Bella felt his hand resting on lower back. It was gentle now, but Bella could imagine what was about to happen, the way he would push hard until she was forced to go with him, away from the light, away from the crowd. She also saw how she would go with him willingly, her spirits crushed knowing that her secret was out, and they knew she was wicked. She would submit to him, knowing that her stepfather had been correct, knowing that she deserved whatever he wanted to do to her behind the boulder.
Bella had been wrong to think she could go to a party, to think that things would be alright and she could pretend to be normal.
"C'mon, I wont bite, unless you want me to." Mike laughed loudly, like he had never heard the line before and truely thought he was a comedian.
Beside them, the ocean crashed against rocks as old as time, and Bella felt the ancient, powerful presence. Instead of the sorrow that she had expected to take root in her, the briefest ember of anger sprung from her downtrodden heart and ignited something in her. Before the good girl could take charge and snuff out the rage before it could grow, Bella pulled herself from him, and hissed "No!"
Mike's arm was still extended in the space between them, curled around a girl that was no longer caught by him. He had to step back to get his balance. Bella was expecting rage. She was expecting shouts. She was expecting some kind of retaliation for her revolt, but instead, Mike just looked a little stunned. Bella saw a shadow shrinking beside her, and she turned to see Jake.
A small part of her, the good girl, nearly sobbed at seeing another man, but that spark was still in her, and she could spy a bit of it in Jake's eyes.
He briefly checked her over and went immediately back to Mike who had yet to move. "Hey Mike man, I'm gunna go ahead an cut you off, and on top of that" Jake moved forward, his hands going to Mike's jacket pockets, where he pulled out a set of keys "I'm taking custody of these until you sober up."
Instead of meeting the reproach with anger or even resistance, Mike merely lifted his hands in placation. "Fine, fine, fair enough."
Jake swiped the beer can from Mike and poured the remaining contents in the sand between the three of them.
Jake turned back toward the party "Lets get you warmed up Bella" his tone was kind and casual instead of suggestive the way Mike had said it, and her body noticed the difference, calming down instead of bracing for hurt. Bella followed him away from Mike, together walking back to the main group. When they returned to the main fire, the older guy at the grill eyed Jake, waiting.
"Mike is cut off, here you go" Jake handed the Paul the keys he had taken, and the man dropped the keys into his apron pocket, which seemed weighed down, but by how many sets of keys Bella couldn't be sure.
The man must have seen Bella note his hoard and said "We know town is only 20 minutes away, which means they'll only need a 20 minute ride back to their cars in the morning. We don't want to cause any drunk drivers."
Jake tossed Mike's can in a blue bin, and sat down on a log near the fire, patting the spot by him. Bella sat down without question.
After a bit of silence from the excitable man beside her, Jake spoke up."I don't want to make excuses for him, but Mike gets a bit… confidentinks. The other girls shut him down before he touches them though, and then he leaves them alone, but you looked like a deer in headlights. Sorry if I butted in." Jake didn't look at her until the end, his warm gaze seeming so genuine.
"No, thank you. I guess I'm just not used to… that." Despite not really saying anything, Bella couldnt believe how open she was being, especially with a guy. Sure, he shooed Mike away, but still.
"Guys being so forward?"
Bella almost scoffed. If only Jake knew. Phil was the only man that suggested anything with her, and his suggestions were just orders. Though, now that she thought about it… she really hadn't experienced men being so forward.
No one except Phil.
Bella's heart started racing, and she was sure her eyes were as wide as a dinner place, but she couldn't force her face to remain calm. Phil had always told Bella that the world was full of cruel men, men who wanted to hurt her. He had always said that he was making her safe, by giving her the lessons, by forcing her to stay slim, by ensuring she didn't socialize with anyone except for when absolutely necessary. And now that she thought about it… she couldnt be certain that anyone had tried to hurt her, beside Phil.
Phil was always warning her of a threat but so far there was no threat to be seen besides Phil. There was a chance that all of his orders really had kept her safe from everyone but him, but was it also posible that those threats weren't nearly as dangerous as Phil had said.
Charlie hadn't done a single threatening thing to hurt her, and in fact was far more kind and caring than Bella had even thought to dream of, not that she let herself do that anymore. While she couldnt let her guard down, when Bella really thought about it, she couldn't even imagine Charlie treating her the way Phil said she deserved. Either Charlie didn't know she deserved it, or Phil was wrong.
Maybe Phil was wrong?
Bella leaned closer to the fire, fighting the chill that suddenly overtook her. She had thought that maybe it was worth it to misbehave, worth it to get to live life even at the risk of getting hurt. But… the idea that maybe she wouldn't get hurt, that the punishment for her actions would never come… It was all too much for her.
"Bella?" Her name pulled her focus back to the party and saw Jake looking at her expectantly.
She realized that she had never answered his last question, but before she responded, Jake interrupted.
"I just thought you wouldn't be into it, he was too pushy, I thought I'd help you out of it since Mike was too drunk to pick up on your discomfort."
"You're right, thank you." Bella choked out and he smiled at her until someone caught his attention, when he turend and started joking with them.
This experience with Mike was really the most explicit anyone other than Phil had treated her, and it hadn't happened until after she pushed herself far past her usual limits. Even then a man had noticed and kept her safe. Jake even said he didnt think she deserved it. Bella really thought Washington was completely alien from what she was used to, and she found herself shly loving it.
Bella warmed herself by the fire as she experienced the elation that surrounded her. There was no spite, there was no cruelty. The only shouted words were followed quickly by laughter. At one point a boy shoved another, leading to the person falling into the mix of sand and ocean smoothed stones, and even then, laughter emerged instead of the anger she was expecting.
The amount of boys and young men around her should have sent her into a panic, but Bella felt fine, a small smile growing across her face, until even she joined the laughter.
