Hot Spring Paradise Part 2

Back at the hot spring paradise, Hit stood behind the group of male adventurers. The depressed beings were staring at Ryuu, who was guarding the entryway into the women's changing area: somewhere they would very much like to be.

Hermes stuck up a finger and chuckled to himself. "We're missing out on a treat here, guys! I bet they're having a little share and compare beauty contest right about now… Wanna know the deets?"

Ouka and Welf's faces somehow gained shadowy borders and heightened definition as they homed in on the god. The two hot-blooded men surrounded the deity, eager to hear his divine wisdom.

Bell blushed, yet something stopped him from missing out on the potentially life-changing words. 'Dammit Grampa; why did you have to tell me all those weird stories!'

Hit was especially dour and had just about given up on this world's future. Whether he liked it or not, this pathetic creature was a God, a being entrusted with the universe's fate. 'This cannot be real… What purpose do these creatures even serve? They're all jesters and perverts…'

Hermes' closed eyes peeped open as he divulged his forbidden knowledge. "First, there's Lili. The girl's seemingly innocent and petite, but she's managed to survive the cruel dungeon and harsh upbringing, which would require a well-honed svelte body, bursting with potential…"

Bell blushed as images of Lili's naked form swam through his mind; it did not help that he had seen glimpses of it the day before.

Hermes continued to lecture the wayward mortals. "…Then there's Mikoto's bodacious curves, contrasting with her demure and serious attitude; and the lovely Chigusa who's exposing that dainty frame of hers to the glistening waters of the dungeon. Right. Now…"

Ouka's face blazed red at the mention of his colleagues, steam somehow emanating from his entire body.

The God was not done. "Oh! And my lovely loyal Asfi! A treasure to the eyes; she's so strict, always telling me what to do… I like it! Now, Hestia's the biggest prize of all! Heaven's most prominent bosom. Just think, those beauties are just around the corner, their hot bodies ripe in the crisp dungeon air…"

The men were all on their hands and knees at this point in the story: Hermes' divine knowledge was far too much for their mortal frames to bear! Welf hyperventilated as he nearly collapsed under his urges, whilst Ouka's muscular body glowed in a deep pink hue.

Bell's albino faced blushed red as he stammered, humming to keep Hermes' tempting words away. 'Happy thoughts, happy thoughts! Just think about Ais! No, wait… That'll make it worse!'

Ryuu's degrading gaze hammered down onto Hermes, who likely enjoyed the treatment since he grinned and continued. "I'll let you guys in on some extra juicy secrets about the best spying spots when we're all alone… For now, let me tell you about the rest of my favourite gals! Goddess Demeter has plump, juicy, soft fruits, ripe for the picking… Just the thought of them can drive a man insane! Then there's Airmid, a pure maiden with a massive…"

'Oh, for Zeno's sake JUST SHUT UP!' Hit was finally at his limit and decided to adopt a different strategy. 'Time to scare them straight.' A murderous face peeped into the circle of perverts as Hit bent down to join them. The four men's hearts froze in terror as the world seemed to lose its colour.

"I have a story regarding courtship rituals as well. In the fire region of COROT-7b, female inhabitants choose their partners via a test of pain tolerance, one that the men have no say in. Piercings; broken bones; organ removal; degloving: nothing is off limits. Their potential partner's body may regenerate, but the creatures still experience pain. The most unfortunate subjects have their spines slowly ripped from their bodies by those with the highest standards. It is quite interesting really, watching as their nervous system collapses once the neurons are gradually torn away. Their still living carcasses rhythmically contract and scream as the intricate process takes its course. You provide a rare opportunity, Hermes, as I am unaware whether the Gods here possess internal organs. Based on your actions so far, you are spineless. Let's see whether that is indeed the case by re-enacting the process."

"Fucking hell, man! Who enters a conversation like that!?" Welf rocketed back up, completely forgetting about whatever the previous chat had been about. Ouka was currently delirious, muttering about Chigusa, and continued to stare off into space.

"P-Please tell me you have a skill to bypass the God's truth telling, old chap. I don't think I'll be sleeping at night if that's not the case…" Hermes' gleeful expression turned to one of confused terror, as he trembled to a standing position.

Bell shook a little as he rose as well. "M-M-Mr Hit? Is that… s-story actually true?"

"Every word. Now, be quiet, I want to enjoy this tranquillity." Hit left the annoying bugs to contemplate his tale and went to change amongst the bamboo blades.

The confused onlookers watched him leave, unsure of how to feel about this new knowledge Hit had dumped on them. Hermes scratched at his chin; he had some research to do. "Now… where the in the world is Carrot seven-bee and how can I make sure to avoid it…"

"WAAAAAAAAAA!" A girlish scream penetrated the silent atmosphere, one that Bell recognised.

The white-haired boy shouted in worry, preparing for battle. "Goddess! What's wrong!?"

"I-It's nothing Bell! Just having a massive wardrobe malfunction, that's all!" Hestia's embarrassed voice sounded over the flowing rivers, assuaging everyone's fears.

The men relaxed, as much as they could, and waited for the girls to finish changing. It was the men's turn to change after them, something that Hit had ignored and Ryuu allowed. The elf crossed her arms and glared down at her demonic prisoners, acting as the guard dog to heaven…

A few minutes later and a timid voice called from behind the hidden paradise. "Y-Yoohoo! Sir Welf!" Welf grunted and turned around to see Asfi and Mikoto. The girls had poked their heads out from their hiding spot, and beckoned Welf towards them. "Would you come and help us, pretty please?"

"Heh". The smith grinned at his colleagues and got up, feeling ecstatic. "Welp, fellas, this has been awful fun, but my skilled hands are needed elsewhere… heh, heh…"

"Huh!? Why does he get to see them change?" Ouka groaned and gritted his teeth in jealousy. Hermes held his chin and blushed, mind likely awhirl with lecherous fantasies.


Welf returned surprisingly quickly, carrying a pair of scissors, needle, and thread. He hung his head in disappointment at being unable to actually savour the fruits of paradise, which had garbed themselves prior to his entry.

"Wonderful! You really saved the day, Welf! Nothing like having a talented smith as a buddy! I'll let Hephaestus know how grateful I am!" Hestia sat on an outcrop, waving happily at Welf without a care in the world. She now wore an odd green and blue swimsuit: it was a beautiful amalgamation of fabric, beads, and leaves, which had been sewn together to form an elegant tapestry.

"Kay thanks…" Welf huffed again, falling deeper into depression.

Lili chuckled at the smith as she peered up at him. Her lithe body was now mostly bare, only shielded by a small pink bikini. "What were you expecting Welf? Us to all pounce on you?"

"Shuddup!" Welf's fiery personality reignited, and he chased after the giggling pallum, who dodged and weaved the scissors he now wielded.

Hestia breathed the healing air in, and clapped her hands, looking forward to her swim. "Sorry about that, guys! Now, hurry up and change so we can all get in the hot spring!" The goddess danced and jumped around in excitement. Unfortunately, thin leaves did not provide much bust support, particularly to someone so well endowed.

Welf panted as he stood below Lili, who had leapt atop a tall outcrop. The smith turned and balked at Hestia's sudden excitement. "Q-Quit it, you! If your swimsuit breaks, I'm not gonna fix it and you'll have to swim naked!"


Once everyone had finally changed into their bathing suits, the holidaymakers sat or stood in front of Mikoto. Hestia and Lili huddled together, with the pallum acting uncharacteristically demure. Their skimpy blue and pink bikinis offered very little protection from prying eyes and the two were not used to being so vulnerable.

The men were also now changed and were huddled in their own corner. Bell wore yellow trunks, his upper body covered by a white t-shirt; whilst Welf wore long dark trunks, bordered in orange stripes. Ouka's muscular body was shown in nearly all its glory, only covered by a few bandages and a Fundoshi: traditional cloth garments. The God Hermes also had no shame and proudly sported skin-tight purple speedos, whilst his prized feathered hat remained seated above his golden locks.

Chigusa and Asfi both wore one-piece swimsuits; however, each was starkly distinct. The mature blue-haired woman wore a swimsuit that somehow matched those worn at Japanese schools of Earth, whilst Chigusa wore a frilly pink one, highlighting her cuteness. Ryuu stood far to the back, leaning against a wall in her usual adventuring attire. Green shimmers danced around behind her, reflecting the inviting pools of water.

Mikoto, the resident hot springs expert, smiled at her protégés. "Is everyone ready? Are you all properly changed?"

Asfi blushed to the side, fiddling with the borders of her tight bathing dress. "I-I suppose so… Although, I feel a bit embarrassed…"

Lili and Chigusa both chimed in with shouts of agreement.

"Mine is way worse! It covers barely anything!"

"T-This doesn't suit me at all!"

Hermes peered up at the beauties from his crouching position, admiring their supple legs and adorable expressions. "What are you gals talking about? You all look gorgeous! Although, I'm a bit disappointed… Mikoto's not wearing the suit I picked out for her…"

It was true; Mikoto was instead wrapped snuggly in a bath towel, acquired from who knows where, and carried a brown wooden bowl. A cream-coloured cloth was tied over the maiden's head, and her purple kimono was balanced atop it. Amusingly, the samurai's katana rested atop these robes, making her look rather top-heavy. "I'm thankful for your offer, but the naked body is quintessential for a hot spring. Unfortunately, I have had to abandon the practice; however, there are rituals that we must all perform before entering. Please allow me the honour in imparting some of these traditional practices!"

The onlookers sat down in preparation for their imminent lesson: Asfi rested next to Hermes; Ouka kneeled into a seiza sitting position next to Chigusa; and Hestia, Bell, Lili, and Welf sat in a neat row.

Hestia leaned over to her child, annoyance growing over the lengthy preparations for a simple swim. "Hey, Bell? Are hot springs always this annoying and full of stupid people?"

Bell spluttered at his God's bluntness and hoped that the overexcited Mikoto had not heard her slight. "G-Goddess! Please don't say that! Since she's going to the trouble of helping us, let's just listen to her."

Mikoto was about to exemplify the proper procedures when she hummed in confusion. "Hm? Where is Mr Hit? You must all hear these arcane practices!"

Bamboo thickets swayed as a figure walked out of their shadowy depths, drawing everyone's attention. It was a man, an extremely muscular one. His entire body was rippling with power as he trudged along, emotionless mask on display. He was not overly bulky; however, the brawn that enshrouded him was far denser than one would expect, owed to years of fine-tuning precise muscle types. His most prominent features were extraordinarily pronounced abdominal muscles, forming a pronounced 'six pack', which would usually only be so utterly striking if the bearer underwent dehydration. The figure's beefy body was solely covered in a pair of baggy purple swimming shorts, their pockets stuffed with the man's hands. Now that the trunks were being worn, a pink heart was visible on the front.

Hit stared at the gaping onlookers in annoyance; he had spent some time trying to get the trunks to fit and settled on tying them into position with bamboo fibres. The only reason Hit had deigned to join the strange individuals was his interest in Mikoto's supposed ritual: perhaps the activities tied into her martial arts…

The women of the group blushed slightly, whilst Ouka and Bell gained awed expressions at Hit's physique. Hermes covered his mouth, attempting to hide his chuckles. "Heh… S-sorry the trunks are a little loose, my man! I-I wasn't entirely sure about your size, given your whole creepy coat getup, so it's unisex. I-I couldn't get you one that came in men's, Hehe." 'Serves you right for getting me into trouble yesterday!'

"Oh, I think you come in men enough for all of us." Hit stopped behind the infuriating being and stared down at his crouched form.

The God froze and gaped at the jibe. "W-why you!? Hmph!" Hermes whirred around, crossing his arms as his face flushed in embarrassment. Shocked chuckles and giggles emanated from the surrounding adventurers as they enjoyed the God's punishment and Hit's unexpected innuendo.

Mikoto smiled and coughed to draw everyone's attention. "Excellent! Now, let us begin." She turned around to face the largest hot spring pool and began her detailed instructions. "First, give two bows!" Mikoto bowed and her pupils followed suit, excluding Hit who simply watched the strange ritual.

Mikoto then drew her palms up. "Now, two claps!"

*Clap*

*Clap*

The onlookers complied and clapped. Hermes grinned as he regained his joviality: mortals always had such fun games!

"Another bow!" Mikoto placed her arms to her sides and bowed more deeply this time, offering anyone behind her a perfect view of her privates.

Asfi, Hestia, Lili, and Chigusa hastily covered the men's eyes, whist Ryuu rushed to position herself in front of Hit, causing the alien to quirk a brow at the odd behaviour.

"Then a monetary offering." Mikoto kneeled next to the shoreline and tossed a 100 valis coin behind her back, which plopped into the pristine waters, generating perfectly circular ripples on its surface.

*Plip*

Welf balked at the action. "What!? I'm not throwing money away!"

"Yeah, what gives!?" Hestia joined in the bickering; their small Familia could not afford to lose a single precious valis!

"I'M TEACHING! DO NOT INTERRUPT THE HOT SPRINGS MASTER!" Mikoto's visage loomed over the disorderly students as she screamed like a demonic banshee. She then turned around and adopted her serene disposition, once more. *Cough* "Next, we say a prayer while performing a customary San-San-Kudo dance!"

The maiden raised a longs wooden stick, one with various paper leaflets tied to its end, and waved it around. "Ka-shi-ko-mi! Ka-shi-ko-mi!" She danced rhythmically from side to side, forcing her companions to facepalm at the embarrassing behaviour.

However, her furtive efforts managed to ensnare Welf, Lili, Hestia, and Bell, who repeated the mantra half-heartedly. "K-kashi-komiiii…Kashiii-komi"

"I can't hear you! You won't purify anything with that drivel!" The dancing girl shouted in disappointment at her companion's feeble shouts, forcing her to intensify her swaying and pirouettes. "Once more, with passion!"

"Um… Is this normal for her…?" Asfi was no stranger to odd sights and novel experiences; however, this was too much, even for her. Her eyes swayed from side to side as she watched the eastern woman bob about, shouting her mantra.

Hermes grinned at his partner, enraptured by his first ever adventure. "I can get into it! Mortal customs are so interesting, especially eastern ones!"

Ouka shook his head, smiling. "Yeah… no. This isn't some 'arcane ritual', it's just her being a dork…" Ouka and Chigusa had recovered from their mortification and instead appreciated their eccentric colleague for who she was: an eastern culture fanatic. They all missed their faraway home, with Mikoto being the most homesick; this unexpected hot spring brought back a myriad of fond memories and allowed the woman to relive her childhood.

After a particularly loud "ka-shi-ko-mi" from Hestia, Mikoto was finally satisfied and picked up her wooden bowl. She then dunked the chalice into the verdant pool behind her and raised it to her lips.

*GULP*

*GULP*

*GULP*

"FUAAAAAAA!" Mikoto wiped her mouth, after somehow drinking the entire container, and proceeded to enact another bizarre series of motions. "Congratulations, the ritual is now complete! All that's left, is to give our wrists and ankles a good twirl!" She raised her arms and held them perpendicular to her body; bent her elbows at 90-degree angles; and allowed her hands to remain limp. Her students quickly mirrored her posture and bobbed their bodies back and forth, whilst twirling their wrists, and lifting their legs to twist their ankles.

"Get a move on, Mr Hit! We must all take part in the ritual; else we risk angering the gods!" Mikoto furrowed her brows at the only member who had not participated in the sacred ceremony.

Hit slouched and frowned in dejection at the utterly baffling actions taking place before him. He briefly glanced over his fellow adventurers, who looked like they were having the time of their lives. Even Ryuu had joined in and held a twitchy smile as she attempted to maintain her emotionless mask. 'I'm done…Officially done… I knew these people had several screws loose, but this is on a whole other level… Am I dreaming? No… there'd be more murdering… Maybe this a radium hot spring. Note to self: no drinking the water here.'

"I have already performed your… activities. You are not perceptive enough to see them." Again, Hit was using the ambiguousness of his time skip, or as they believed, teleportation, as ammunition for mental attacks, this time to get out of doing an embarrassing dance.

Mikoto narrowed her eyes at him, yet could not discern anything from Hit's mannerisms or speech pattern. She supposed the boy looked more relaxed, based on his hunch. "I-I cannot tell if you are telling the truth, Mr Hit. What do you say, Lord Hermes?"

ゴゴゴゴ

ゴゴゴゴ

ゴゴゴゴ

Hermes gulped and lost his balance, mid twirl, as he felt an overbearing wave of killing intent plummet onto him from behind. Somehow, he was the only one to feel the dark cloud of death and penetrating crimson gaze that bore into his back. "Y-yep! He's not telling any porkies, no siree! That's some killer moves there, Hit!"

"Well, in that case…" Mikoto beamed and ran towards her sacred spring, jumping right into it. "…CANNONBALL!"

****SPLASH****

The adventurers fled from the wave of green water as their instructor divebombed into it. Ouka and Chigusa bowed repeatedly to make amends for the odd series of events.

"We're eternally regretful, she just gets super excited about this stuff…"

"S-She means well!"

Surprisingly for them, these new friends accepted Mikoto's kindness without question and waded into the revitalising water, finally allowing their drained bodies to recuperate…