Disclaimer: I am not a professional on DID, I do not have the disorder myself, and if you are a system and your experience does not align with Four's, that's okay! Everyone's experience differs, and you are valid. In fact, you are much more valid than a DID system written by a person without DID, so don't feel like the way Four is represented is the "only" or "right" way for one to experience DID (or OSDD!) That goes for all my fellow singlets as well. Don't generalize real-life systems with Four's. Grain of salt, remember, grain of salt.

A huge thank you to meefling for beta-reading/sensitivity-reading this chapter! Thank you to Nebulapaws as well for discussing system related topics with me!


Chapter 20

Hearing the other heroes had a change of heart did nothing to melt the ice around Blue's own. His brother was crying. Still.

This had to be a new record. Normally, Blue would tease him about it, but this was no laughing matter. Even if it was, his words would never reach Red. That was why he remained silent and frozen in the hallway like a statue long after Green had said his piece and left, listening as Red's sobs turned to coughs, to hiccups, to sniffles, and eventually, to silence.

He didn't notice it at first. After so long spent in a bubble of constant noise, his brain rejected the idea of quiet. In the end, it was the sound of rain on the roof that enlightened him. The steady pitter patter danced around his ears, light and impossible considering all the noise Red was making. Had been making.

Blue shot to his feet, pressing the side of his face against the door and holding his breath as he listened.

…Nothing

Not even a sniffle.

He pulled away, regarding the door with a scowl, and trying to imagine the boy behind it. Had he fallen asleep? Fatigue pulled at his own eyelids, so it wasn't impossible. The light streaming in from the lone hallway window had dimmed considerably since he'd first arrived. Nighttime, maybe. It seemed darker than before.

Did that mean the body was asleep? Or did the day-night cycles here have nothing to do with that anymore? Urgh! Stupid Vio tampering with the stupid world for stupid Shadow who stupidly existed!

The body could be awake. Which meant it was possible Red got yanked to the front.

Blue grit his teeth. Din darn it.

Grasping the knob in one last bid for meaningful action, Blue twisted. It turned.

It turned!

Shocked, he shoved the door open and all but fell into his brother's room. "Red!"

There was no response. Blue couldn't see him either as he summoned a lantern to his hand and swept it around the dark room.

Darkened fireplace, empty chair, a pile of sagging blankets and pillows that was probably a fort at one time but had long since been destroyed by a siege. The bed: absolutely overflowing with blankets and stuffed toys, and…and no Red.

Blue stomped into the room, refusing to accept his brother wasn't there. He marched over to the sad fort and dismantled it farther.

Nothing!

Hit the floor to peer under the bed.

Nothing!

Tore stuffed animals from the veritable mountain piled on the mattress.

There! Was that…? Blue's hand hovered clawlike over another plush. Except it wasn't the plush that had caught his attention. It was the tuft of blond poking out underneath it. "Red?"

Blue removed the next stuffed animal more gently than he had the others, revealing more honey blond. Another two and a pair of watery red-rimmed eyes met his.

"Red." He sighed, shoulders dropping in relief. His brother was okay. Well, not okay, but not in the front, at least which counted for something.

"Hey, you done crying now?" He kept his voice soft, light with levity, but it didn't matter. He triggered the waterworks. Fresh tears leaked down Red's cheeks and he shifted to rebury himself in plushies.

Ugh. Blue was no good at this.

"Stupid question." He plopped onto the floor since the bed was occupied, and he didn't want to accidentally sit on Red. "New question: what's wrong?"

"E'vry'on's fi'ghin," Red whimpered, his words muffled severely by all the cloth and stuffing. And tears too. Can't forget the tears."'S'all my faul'."

"People fighting isn't your fault!" Blue protested vehemently. How dumb could his brother be?

Very apparently.

"T'is," Red insisted, sniffing grossly and wiping it on his sleeve. Blue wrinkled his nose at the uncleanliness of it, but gave his brother a pass. He was really upset after all. Later he could throw a handkerchief in his face. Later. "Better if I dis'pear."

"What?! No! Who gave you that dumb idea?"

Red's reply was so muffled this time that Blue couldn't even understand him. "Unbury your face from all those things. I can't even hear you."

Every movement appeared to be a great effort. Even the subtle shift Blue requested of him took ages, but eventually Red laid in his plushie cave with his face exposed. Most of it, anyway. He held an unlucky stuffed bear to his eyes to sop up tears, but Blue was willing to look past that since his next words came out much clearer—though wet with soul-deep sorrow.

"Nobody. I thought of it."

"Then unthink it," Blue advised. "You disappearing isn't going to fix anything."

"Me being here isn't fixing anything!" Red sobbed, flinging the toy away and piercing Blue with desperate eyes begging to be proved wrong. "I-I'm supposed to help make everyone hap-happy, bu-but everyone's m-mad. They all hate each other. They hate us."

"News flash, they don't. Everyone talked, and they all promised to be nicer." Blue shrugged and leaned back on his hands. "Don't know how much that's worth coming from the vet or the captain, but if they start trouble, you better believe I'll set them straight so fast their heads will spin."

Red continued to cry, mouth twisted up and head shaking. "I-it's not—not just that."

"What then?"

"Y-you hate Shadow so Vio hates you, and you hate Vio back, but Green hates Shadow too, and that's not fair because he didn't do anything wrong!" Red choked, shoulders heaving for breath that came too short, but he made do. "No one's happy and—and I tried but I don't—every ti—I j-j-just—I—"

"Hey…" Blue rose, reaching out hesitantly. Usually wrapping Red in a hug would work but the way he had barricaded himself in with stuffed animals made Blue unsure if that was the right move here. In all his time with Red, Blue had witnessed many a breakdown, but this…this took the cake. "Slow down. Take a breath."

Red struggled to draw one in, and Blue decided to risk it. He surged forward, impatiently pushing plushies aside so he could pull Red upright and wind an arm around the boy's trembling shoulders. He squeezed, and Red wasted no time in clinging to his tunic.

"Bl-Blue I can't make anyone happy." Tears dampened his collar, and Blue held his brother tighter, rubbing a hand up and down his arm.

"That's not true. You make plenty of people happy." Red's sunshine was infectious. It was nearly impossible not to have a smile on your face when he was around. Blue should know. He generally frowned on smiling, and his most sensitive brother knew exactly how to tease the expression out of him. Besides, he caught the way the other heroes looked at them when Red was in control. Fond. Playful. Relaxed. Happy.

Red shook his head. "Not now."

Blue scoffed. "Of course not now, moron. You're crying. No one's happy when you're crying."

"But even when I'm not!" Red wailed. "I can't fix anything. I can't make you guys happy. I can't do anything but cry, and that's good for nothing! I'm good for nothing."

"No." Blue crushed Red to his side hard enough to squeeze the lies out. "That's not true."

Some days, Blue did detest Red's tendency towards tears, but that didn't mean he didn't value his brother. He had value. So much value, and it boiled his blood that Red couldn't see that.

Red was the only one of them who truly knew how to let go. How to stop and relax and participate fully in the world around them without a care. Without him, they'd likely work themselves into the ground, and they wouldn't have nearly as much fun. Or friends, for that matter. Red never failed to get them out of the house. It was in large part due to him that they had any sort of presence in town at all. His social butterfly trait was a strength none of the rest of them shared.

Heck, the rest of them were hopeless when it came to socialization. Blue was too brash, and Green, while kind, often stumbled over his words, second-guessing the right ones far too often in the pursuit of knightly perfection. Then there was Vio, whose speech came out stilted and dry and often long-winded, thus boring people to death if they didn't walk away first.

Red, though… Red always knew what to say and how to say it. He paid just the right amount of attention to the person or people they were conversing with and never failed to open their typically guarded expression.

With Red, they were approachable—actually likeable—and that in itself was invaluable.

Right now, Blue wished he was more like his brother, gentle and kind and equipped with an arsenal of comforting words. Nayru knew he didn't have any.

But of course he had to try. For Red. "You are good for so much more than crying, Red. Goddesses above, you're such an idiot for thinking otherwise! We couldn't survive without you. Vio might be our brain cell, but you're our heart."

"No," Red refused, shriveling up like a piece of paper eaten by flame. "I'm not. You're all miserable, and I can't do anything to fix it."

"Who says you have to?"

"I-I don't know…but I do. I have to keep everyone happy."

"Since when was that your job?" It sounded like a crummy one. Not to mention impossible.

"Since always!"

Blue's frown deepened at Red's answer, and he pulled away from his brother slightly to catch his eye. "Hey. I don't expect you to do that. Green and Vio don't either."

"Then…then who will fix it?" Red sniffled snottily. "Who will make sure you guys are happy and getting along if I don't?"

"We will," Blue asserted, flicking his brother in the forehead.. "Stop taking on everyone's baggage and worry about yourself. You can't fix every disagreement. No one can. We're going to fight now and then, and that's just how it is."

"But I don't like it!" Red cried, tears leaking down his face and plopping amongst the ridiculous collection of plushies. "I hate when you fight! I want everyone to get along always! I don't want anyone hurting each other."

Blue sighed. "Look, it's not going to come to that, alright?"

"It already has! You hurt Shadow and Shadow hurt you a-and—"

"Alright fine," Blue acquiesced with a roll of his eyes. "Maybe that did happen but I'm just looking out for our well-being. I don't trust Shadow. He's already wreaked enough havoc inside and out as it is."

"He didn't mean to."

Blue huffed. "So everyone keeps telling me." He still wasn't buying it. Punching a mirror and walking away from camp while on watch were clear actions of sabotage no matter what excuses Vio gave.

"Because it's true," Red insisted. "Shadow isn't bad. He saved us at the end of everything, remember?"

Blue grunted in reluctant acknowledgement. Fine. Breaking the Dark Mirror had been a noble act. Shadow sacrificing himself had been downright heroic. But his recent actions weren't. He put them in unnecessary danger. He turned their fellow heroes against them with his mere presence!

"Besides, he split off from Vio." Red sniffled. "He's not even the same Shadow we lost."

"So the brainiac theorizes." But who really knew the truth?

Red believed Vio did. "It's the only thing that makes complete sense. The others might doubt it but…but we know we aren't being controlled by the black blood. We're always careful. You make sure we wash up extra good all the time after weapon maintenance."

"That doesn't mean there's not a chance I missed something." He could only scrub so much before Green or Vio called him out for being obsessive.

"You didn't. I know you didn't because if we were touched by evil it wouldn't feel or look anything like Shadow. It would be different."

"Oh yeah?" Blue crossed his arms over his chest in challenge. "How would you know?"

"Because dark magic is mean. It hurts. We've been around it plenty on our adventures. You know what it feels like. It's sticky and sick and heavy and there isn't any of that inside us. Even when we went to Shadow's cave that one time, it wasn't there."

He opened his mouth, ready to refute, only to find he had nothing. Because Red was right. Dark magic had an unmistakable aura to it. Unlike light magic, there was nothing crafty about it. It hit hard and fast and brutal and were it in their body or mind, its innocuous stench would permeate everything. The fact that it didn't, that not a wisp of it could be found, pointed to Shadow being in the clear.

But that didn't make Blue a fan. "He's still dangerous, and I don't like him."

Red was halfway to a devastated wail before Blue halted the anguish with a raised hand. "But that doesn't matter. He's here and you and Vio clearly see something in him that I don't, so…maybe I have to trust you." He cast his gaze to the ceiling, praying to the Three he wasn't making a mistake. "Vio already tried to take him to the front to play teacher anyway, and knowing him, he'll go behind my back and try again at some point. Me resisting is obviously doing more harm than good so…as long as it's not for shenanigans and one of you are supervising at all times, I'll allow it. Shadow doesn't have to stay in his cave forever."

Red blinked hopefully up at him. "You mean it?"

"Would I say it if I didn't?" Blue retorted.

"You say a lot of things you don't mean when you're upset," Red pointed out in a small voice. "At least…I hope you don't mean them."

He groaned. "Ugh, yeah, fine. Fair. But I mean this, so stop moping already."

A wobbly almost smile twitched across Red's lips. "I'll try."

"Good, because I'm about ready to pass out." Blue declared, flopping back to lay among the mountain of stuffies and eliciting a wet giggle from Red. "I don't know how you emotion all the time. It's exhausting."

Red hummed, snuggling up next to him. Usually he'd pull away. He was by no means a cuddler. That was Red and Green's department, not his. But now that he was laying down, Blue discovered he was too tired to move. The plushies were soft and so were the blankets. Red's room had to be the coziest in the house—although that could have something to do with the fact it had its own fireplace, which, would you look at that, had lit itself at some point. It radiated sleepy heat and cast flickering firelight into the room that somehow made the shadows at the edges feel more like a secure hug rather than a hulking sharp-shaped lurker.

It massaged the tension out of his body and a quick peek at Red confirmed it had the same effect on him.

"Stay?" Red murmured, and it wasn't even a choice.

Blue threw an arm over his brother, sighing at the damp cheek that met his collarbone. He was a pillow now, wasn't he? But as he closed his eyes, Blue found he didn't mind the new role. It was an important one. Everyone needed a safe place to rest their head, after all. Being Red's was an honor.


Green awoke feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and all but hopped out of bed. A quick glance around informed him he wasn't the first one up. Several beds were mussed and empty, and there was a distinct lack of Wind in his own. That was to be expected, though. The sailor usually rose with the sun unless he'd had a rough night.

After taking a moment to switch out the purple headband for the green and fix the sheets on their shared bed—he didn't want to cause too much trouble for the inn staff—Green strolled out of the building. The scent of sizzling food tickled his nose, and he quickly found the source. Wild stood at one of many cooking pots, Hyrule, Wind, Twilight and Time lounging in a loose circle on the sand around him.

"'Hoy!" Wind waved an arm wildly above his head upon catching sight of Green. "Morning, Green!"

"Morning." Green smiled, approaching the cooking pot and taking a seat beside the sailor. Thankfully, the sun hadn't yet baked the sand to scorching.

"How'd you sleep?" Twilight wanted to know.

"Good," Green said, somewhat startled to find it was true. After everything with Red and the confrontation and his decision to meet Shadow properly, Green had braced himself for unpleasant dreams. However, he couldn't recall having any. His sleep had been completely peaceful. "What about you guys?"

"Pretty good."

"Amazing!"

"Quite well," Time said, stretching his arms above his head. "A soft bed does wonders for the back."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're old," Hyrule teased, causing them all to laugh. "But it was kinda nice sleeping in a bed for a change."

"I swear Gerudo beds are the nicest," Wild chimed in, glancing up from his cooking. "Although Rito beds come close. They're stuffed with feathers, so they're always super warm."

"What do the Gerudo stuff their beds with?" Green wondered.

"No idea! But they're comfy and never fail to put me right to sleep."

From his recent experience, Green had to agree. Plus last time he was in Gerudo territory and laid on one of their beds, he'd practically passed out. Although, that could have been the massage…

"Oh! By the way, I'm making omelets," Wild mentioned, motioning with his spatula to the pan of creamy yellow eggs sizzling over the fire. "Is there anything specific you want in yours?"

Green tilted his head in thought, noting the vague presence floating around nearby. It felt sleepy. Sweet!

"Cheese and tomato, if that's possible," Green requested before whoever it was woke in full. The opportunity to tailor meals to his specific preferences were few and far between when sharing a brain. Someone always had something to say or a craving to push onto him. He tried to be as fair as he could, but it was also nice to not have to worry for once.

"It is very possible," Wild assured him with a radiant smile Green would not have been privy to a day ago. Relief spread through him at the show of normalcy.

Last night's conversation had made a difference.

Wind poked his shoulder and leaned in conspiringly. "Bacon's also an option. I'm having bacon."

"Mmm." He hummed, imagining the savory smokiness coating his tongue. "Bacon does sound good."

Throwing an arm across Green's shoulders, Wind bellowed, "Wild! Get this man some bacon!"

"Only if he wants it." Wild chuckled.

"I want it." Green grinned, feeling warm and light and not stressed out of his mind for the first time in a while.

An omelet bursting with cherry tomatoes, bacon, and a healthy dose of melted cheese was presented to him shortly thereafter, and Green accepted it gratefully. Although, he hesitated to dig in. The memory of yesterday's tasteless meal lingered, and an incessant worry nagged at him that today's would be the same.

He did his best to quash it down, though. The smell wasn't bothering him, so that had to be a good sign. It had to.

…Right?

Gathering a bit of the still steaming omelet onto his fork, Green raised it to his mouth, blew—because it was hot and he didn't want to burn himself. Stalling? No! He wasn't stalling!—and took a bite.

Flavor exploded on his tongue, each ingredient dancing together to create a divine savory experience. Now that was more like it! Green dove into the meal with gusto then, unashamed at his blatant eagerness if only because the other heroes were attacking their own breakfasts with just as much fervor.

In fact, Wind looked like a choking disaster waiting to happen.

"Slow down, sailor. It's not going to run away." Green laughed.

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do," Green countered with confidence. "Because Wild made it. Now if it was Hyrule…"

"Hey!" The traveler's head whipped up from his plate at the jibe but there was a grin on his face that sent sparkles to his eyes.

"Ha!" Twilight barked in amusement, covering his mouth when half-chewed food flew out. He smiled around his hand. "He's right. If we let you cook, we'd probably have a bunch of little chicks running around."

Wind giggled so hard at the image that he nearly fell over, and Green believed it to be purely the work of the sailor's honed hero instincts that saved the plate in his hand from meeting the ground.

Smiling, Green popped another bite into his mouth. This was nice. Companionable. Relaxing. The ideal way to wake up in the morning, and he hoped his current mood and well-functioning taste buds was an indicator that Red was feeling better.

Of course that little voice in his head just had to dampen the day by reminding him it could also mean Red simply wasn't awake yet, in the grip of depressive sleep. But Green did his best to ignore it. He wanted to believe the former.

It didn't take long before the plates were polished off and seconds were requested. While Wild set to cracking eggs, Time suggested someone wake the others, and after a rousing round of Nose-Goes in which Green only almost slapped himself in the face in his hurry—almost!—Wind was sent to wake the late risers. It wasn't a task for the faint of heart—thus the game—but with an omelet under his belt and courage in his soul, the sailor rose to the occasion beautifully.

He succeeded as well, marching out of the inn with hungry heroes in tow a few minutes later. Greetings were exchanged, and Green happily noted the softer look in Warrior's eye as he said hello and Legend's grumbled "morning." Which didn't seem like much on the surface, but if you knew the veteran, you knew he almost never said a word before he'd eaten or drank something.

Green was halfway through his second omelet when a burbling stream meandered closer.

"What's going on here? Is that an omelet? With bacon?"

Green answered by letting a self-satisfied smirk stretch across his face and taking another bite. All the while, he made sure to give Blue a good look at the omelet, particularly the bits of bacon.

Blue loved bacon.

"Ew you put cheese on it too?"

But not cheese. Which meant Green didn't have to share.

"Thanks for ruining it." Blue huffed but it was playful, nothing more than a splash of water in Green's face.

Snooze you lose, Green returned easily.

Blue sent him the impression of a dramatic eye roll. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, while you were destroying perfectly good bacon, I talked to Red."

The news surprised him so much he momentarily froze.

"Somehow he got it into his head that he's responsible for everyone's happiness, which is total crap, and I told him so."

Green grimaced. His bull-headed brother wasn't exactly one for tact.

"Relax, I wasn't mean about it," Blue said, sensing his worry. "I just told him the truth, and I think it worked. He stopped crying and slept at least."

Is he awake now? Green wondered.

"Yes. I got him out of his room, but he didn't feel up to leaving the house so that's why he isn't here. I don't know what Vio's doing."

Nodding, Green continued to eat. Hearing Red had left his room and wasn't shedding anymore tears was a massive improvement. It reassured Green that his better mood this morning was indeed a reflection of his brother's and not just a fluke.

However, the fact that Red had believed he was responsible for keeping them all happy left a bad taste in his mouth. He hoped he hadn't put that thought there somehow. Red's sunny disposition never failed to brighten his day and his unwavering optimism always came as a breath of fresh air in the face of his darker thoughts, and Blue's all-too frequent negative moods. As much as he appreciated Red's attitude and had praised it on several occasions when times were tough, Green never meant for it to become a duty.

He resolved to apologize when he could, just in case he had been partially to blame. Besides, a hug could never hurt Red.

By the time the group finished breakfast, they were all more than ready to leave the desert behind. The sun had only grown hotter as the morning drew on and in half an hour the sand that had been pleasantly warm had turned uncomfortably hot.

Thankfully, Wild had prepared for this, pulling out freshly brewed chilly elixirs to chase away the heat. One each would be enough to get them out of the desert and into the canyon, the champion promised.

After clearing away the dishes and downing the potions that tasted like the first frost of winter, the heroes packed up their gear and set off for the Gerudo Canyon Stables.

Amiable chatter worked its way through the procession as they moved, everyone in high spirits from the day of rest. Blue hovered close the entire time, no doubt waiting for Warrior or Legend to slip up so he could tell them off. It didn't happen, though. The two were engaged in their usual sharp-tongued banter and didn't spare them or anyone else so much as a glance. Green took that as a sign of things returning to normal.

True to Wild's word, the elixirs wore off just as they reached the canyon where its high nature-made walls shielded them from the worst of the sun's rays. It only took a half hour more of trekking before the stable's characteristic stylized horse head came into view.

Cheers arose at the sight, Wind's and Sky's ringing out particularly loud. Those two were the least accustomed to walking long distances after all, and any mode of transportation always excited them.

Green found himself looking forward to it too. It could be difficult to match the longer strides of his taller companions sometimes, and while his feet weren't sore now, he was sure they would be given a few more hours. Horses truly were a blessing from the goddesses, and Wild had many.

Five, to be exact, and he requested them all from the Hylian manning the front desk.

"We'll have to double up," Wild announced as the proprietor called for help from the stable hands to retrieve and tack up five horses. "Except for Time. I think you should ride alone because of your armor."

The old man dipped his head. "Fair enough."

"Everyone else, find a partner."

"I call Twi!" Wind exclaimed, shooting over to loop arms with the ranch hand and officially stake his claim.

"Then Hyrule's all mine," the captain proclaimed, draping an arm over the traveler's shoulders in an obvious bid to make Wind jealous.

It didn't work in the slightest. "That's fine! Have fun following the rules 'Rule!"

"What?" Hyrule blinked, smile suddenly falling.

"Don't listen to him. I know how to ride," Warrior assured.

"Yeah, like a knight," Twilight quipped, his tone and wolfish grin insinuating that was a bad thing.

"What's wrong with that? I am a knight," Warrior returned proudly.

"And most knights can't sit pretty past a trot."

"Maybe not your knights, but mine certainly do. My Epona and I gallop all the time."

"Then why didn't you make the horse run fast last time I rode with you?" Wind demanded.

"Because there was no reason to?"

Wind turned to Twilight with large, pleading eyes. "We can go fast right?"

Twilight chuckled, ruffling the sailor's hair. "'Course we can. We'll outpace the captain and everyone else."

"Yes!" Wind punched the air in victory.

"Oh, so it's a race you want?" Warrior surmised. "Alright, you're on!"

"A race?" Wild perked up, looking over from where he was currently accepting the reins of a gorgeous white stallion from a stable hand. "Count me in!"

"Let's not push the horses past their means," Time cautioned, although an amused smile tickled his lips. "They'll be carrying us for quite some time."

"Yeah, but a short race will be okay," Wild insisted. "All my horses have plenty of stamina. Speaking of, this one will be yours. His name's Beauty."

So saying, Wild led the porcelain-colored horse over to Time who held out a hand to say hello. If Green didn't know any better, he'd say the horse belonged to the royal family. It certainly had that high-class air about it. Even its saddle and tack looked regal, the leather dyed a rich purple with gold accents. Shield-like emblems that bore the kingdom's crest marched along the horse's chest and hindquarters.

On its back, the old man would look like a proper knight in shining armor—although Green didn't think he actually was one. As far as he knew, only Warrior, Sky, Wild, and himself ever claimed to be servants of the royal family, or at least knighted in some capacity since Sky's era was prior to the kingdom's founding.

It did mean they all knew how to ride, though—even if Sky had only ever ridden giant birds—so there was no shortage of experienced riders in their midst.

Memories of riding lessons alongside his father at the royal stables raced through his mind and brought a fond smile to his face. The thrill of being so high up with wind whipping through his hair was like nothing else in the world, and suddenly Green longed for it. He drifted closer as two more saddled horses were presented to the champion.

They didn't hold the same breathtaking elegance as Beauty, but they were gorgeous in their own right, pale-colored and rippling with velveteen muscle. One, the palomino, even had its mane braided.

"So pretty!" he breathed, stepping closer to run a hand over the plaits. The woven strands tickled his fingers with their tiny, regular bumps.

"That's Cream," Wild informed him. "She likes nose rubs."

His hand immediately moved to stroke her nose, and as Cream melted under his touch so did he, the motion of his hand suddenly feeling far away and detached, like it didn't belong to him. Stomach sinking and heart thudding at the sensation, or lack thereof, Green tried to rub harder. Oddly, his hand only seemed to slow. But he was touching the horse. He could see as much even with his tunneled vision. Yet he could barely feel its hair on his skin.

A wave of dizziness struck him, and his hand splayed across the horses' lowered head for balance. No more petting. He couldn't pet because…

Because…

Red blinked, slowly raising a wobbly head to find his hand touching something pale gold and oblong and warm—and eyes! It had eyes. The head of a horse resolved in his vision, and a toothy smile broke across his face.

"Aww you're so cute!" he squealed, squishing the horse's long face between his hands and rubbing energetically. The animal snorted happily under his touch so he took that as permission to keep going. His petting drifted from its face to its neck where he found another surprise. "You have braids!" There had to be dozens woven throughout the blonde mane. They were tight and clearly plaited with care, and Red longed to tuck colorful flowers in the cross sections.

Unfortunately they appeared to be in a desert, with only sand at their feet and an arid temperature deadly to most plants hanging in the air.

He'd be hard pressed to find flowers here.

That was alright, he assured himself. The horse was plenty pretty without them. And soft! He ran the fingers of one hand through loose strands of silky soft hair while the other scratched at the animal's cheek. The mare leaned into the pets so much that she nearly toppled him with her insistence for more. Red giggled.

It had been so long since he'd pet a horse like this. He'd had to refrain with Twi's Epona for fear of outing their Four-in-One secret, but no more! He could pet this beautiful creature as much as he wanted, just like he did when Father first took him for riding lessons—and every lesson after. He must have spent at least an hour petting and brushing and cooing over all the equines before Father could encourage him into the saddle. Even then, he remembered hugging the pony and letting it do whatever it pleased more than actually riding. It had been fun, though.

"Cream really seems to like you," Wild said, leaving a chestnut colored horse in Twi's capable hands and approaching Red. "Do you want to ride her?"

He gasped, eyes going wide as he took in the newly named horse before him. "Her name's Cream? Like whipped cream?" It was fitting. Her colors matched the topping perfectly and from his experience she was just as sweet. Red hugged her neck tighter. "That's adorable!"

"...Yeah? I just told y—oh." Wild blinked, seeming to see Red for the first time.

Red's beaming grin dimmed slightly, suddenly shy under the spotlight of Wild's gaze. "Hi."

"Hi, um…Red, right?"

He nodded, the horse hair under his cheek acting as a comfort.

"I'm so sorry!" Wild pressed his hands together in a plea for forgiveness. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay." If anything, it was his fault for being so sensitive.

"No, it's not okay," Wild objected. "It was wrong of me—of all of us—and we're going to do better. Shadow's welcome here just like the rest of you."

Red's grin brightened slightly. Hearing it from Wild was different than hearing it secondhand from Blue. "Thank you."

His friend waved off his gratitude. "No need to thank me for that. It's common decency and should have been there all along. I'm really sorry it wasn't."

"Wild, it's okay!" Red insisted. The look Wild was giving him was downright pitiful. He could tell his friend was sorry from his face alone. "I forgive you."

"Well, I don't. Not until I give you this." Strings of cyan swirled out of the Sheikah Slate and coalesced into a small tan pouch tied with string. Wild held it out for Red.

Curious, he unwound himself from Cream and stepped forward to accept the bag, untying the string and tugging it open. A collection of paper bow wrapped orbs winked up at him. "Candy!"

"Yup," Wild confirmed proudly as Red shook a few into his palm. "All your favorite flavors. I had Vio help. And 'Rule too. He was a taste tester."

"Mmm!" Red bounced a little in place at the explosion of strawberry sweetness that touched his tongue. In no time it had filled his mouth, the hard candy distributing its flavor everywhere it went as he rolled it around. "He did a great job! And you did too. Thank you!"

"No problem." Wild chuckled. "Now just one more thing for me to forgive myself."

"Yeah, anything!" The last thing Red wanted was Wild beating himself up for making a mistake.

Wild opened his arms. "Hug?"

The beaming smile was back and brighter than ever. Red fisted the pouch of sweets in his hand and surged forward, wrapping his arms around Wild's middle and squeezing as hard as he could.

The champion squeezed back just as fiercely, and Red giggled as they swayed slightly side to side. They remained in that embrace long enough for Wild to let go of his guilt, and Red's heart to feel comfortably warm.

Also long enough for others to notice.

"What's all the hugging about over here?" Warrior wondered, sauntering over with a curious glint in his eye, the rest of the Links trailing close behind.

"I was apologizing to Red," Wild explained, releasing Red and stepping away to address the captain. He missed the warmth immediately, but respected Wild's decision to let go. Vio told him all his affection could be overwhelming sometimes, and he didn't want to overwhelm Wild.

"Hi, War." Red waved.

"Hey, bud," Warrior ruffled Red's hair in a brotherly fashion. "You doing okay? Vio mentioned you were in a funk, and we had something to do with it. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just…caught in the past, I guess." Regret tinged his words.

"I know," Red reassured his brother in arms with an understanding smile. "It's okay. And I'm okay too! Wild made me candy. Do you want one?"

He held out the small pouch in invitation, but War raised a hand. "No thanks. You enjoy them."

"Okay." Red lowered the pouch and slipped it into his bag, the first candy still slowly disintegrating where he'd tucked it in his right cheek. He was determined to savor it.

"I'm sorry too, Red," Hyrule mentioned, stepping forward so Red could see how he was wringing his hands in guilt.

"Me too," Legend voiced.

Red waved off the apologies. Although he appreciated it, he didn't want his friends feeling bad for his sake. It was over and done with anyway. "All good!" he chirped.

Hyrule's shoulders dropped in relief, as did War's guilty expression. Relieved smiles alighted on both their faces. Legend's too, although it was more of a twitch in his facial muscles. The veteran always seemed determined to keep his expression in a permanent scowl. He reminded Red of Blue in that way.

"Hey! I'm nothing like that jerk!"

Red only barely suppressed a giggle.

"I'm surprised you're out," Legend commented. "From the way Vio was talking I didn't think we'd be seeing you for a while."

Red ducked his head sheepishly, fiddling with the strings on his bag. "I didn't mean to come out. It was the horses, I think. Animals are one of my favorite things."

"I should have guessed," Twilight smiled warmly. "You were all over the animals at Ordon Ranch."

"Mmhmm!" Red bounced on his toes at the memory of the baby goats. "The baby goats were soooo cute! And fun to pet when they stopped hopping around long enough for me to touch them."

"I think there are some goats here." Wild mentioned, tapping a finger to his chin.

"Really?!"

"Yeah. Not babies though."

"That doesn't matter!" Red declared, grabbing hold of Wild's arm and shaking it insistently. "Lead me to the goats!"

"Oh, me too!" Wind chimed in, shooting a hand in the air like he was a student eager to answer a question in class.

Wild laughed. "Alright, alright, I will."

"Ahem" Time cleared his throat. "Before that, why don't you pick what horse you want to ride, Red?"

Without an ounce of hesitation, Red reached back to grasp the palomino's reins. "I want to ride Cream!" Or his version of riding, anyway. He didn't think he ever got past the hugging stage in training.

"Pick who you want to ride with too," Wild said. "We're doubling up since I only have five horses."

Legend scoffed. "Only."

Red knew exactly who he wanted to partner with. He reached over to hook his arm with Wild's. "I want to ride with you!"

"R-really?" Wild sputtered in shock.

"Really!" There were no hard feelings between them, and he wanted Wild to know it. Besides, if he was riding with Wild then he could properly share the candy while they traveled. The cook deserved to indulge in his own food.

"You wouldn't rather Sky?"

"Nope!"

A toothy grin broke across the champion's face. "Alright then. We'll ride Cream. Now let's—"

"Link!"

The call of their shared name drew everyone's attention to the corral where two stable workers tugged at the reins of an enormous black horse with a fiery mane.

Red gasped. "Omigosh! So big!"

Wild laughed, jogging over to accept the reins with a word of thanks. "That's why I named him Big Guy."

"Your creativity knows no bounds," Legend observed dryly.

"Well what else would I name him?" Wild wondered, walking the beast over to the group.

"Maybe Tiny," Warrior quipped.

"But he's so big!" Wild protested, gesturing dramatically at the horse's sheer girth.

"That's the joke."

"Chuck?" the ranch hand hazarded, hand to chin and brow furrowed in concentration.

"What?! Where the heck did that come from?" Legend demanded, eyeing Twi critically.

The rancher shrugged. "He looks like a Chuck."

"Gods, no!"

"What's wrong with Chuck?"

"Everything," Legend deadpanned, and Twilight raised his hands in defeat.

"I like Big Guy," Wind said, and Red nodded along vehemently in agreement. "Although…he kinda reminds me of Phantom Ganon with his size, so maybe Phantom?"

"Oh, that's a cool name," Hyrule praised.

Wild hummed. "It is cool, but the only Ganon I ever saw was Calamity Ganon, and he was much bigger than my boy." He patted Big Guy's upper leg. It was the only place he could reach easily, and Red couldn't help but wonder how he mounted the horse with it being so huge and all. Red didn't even come up to its belly.

"He reminds me of a horse I've seen before," Time observed.

"In that case, do you want to trade Beauty for Big Guy?" Wild wondered. "He'd probably be a better choice anyway. He's the strongest horse I have next to her."

The look on Time's face screamed uncertainty. "I think I'll pass…"

"I think Time's afraid of it," Red stage whispered to Wild.

The elder man's ear twitched. "I am not afraid. I'm simply wary. In my time, Ganondorf rode a horse that looked quite similar to that one. The saddle and bridle appear to be Gerudo make as well."

"Oh," Wild's gaze passed from Time to the mountain of a horse standing next to him. "Well…that's okay. I guess someone else can—"

"Me!" Red cried, unable to contain himself.

"You? I thought you wanted to ride Cream."

Red glanced back at the horse he'd been fawning over a minute ago. Then back at Wild. "I did, and I might later, but he's so big!" Red threw out his arms to encompass the animal's hugeness and giggled, ecstatic at the wondrous creature in front of him. There was so much horse to love!

Legend smirked. "I think it's perfect. Put the shortstack on the giant horse."

Wild laughed. "Actually, yeah, I need a picture of that. Okay, we'll ride Big Guy. Who wants Cream?"

A debate ensued over who rode with who and on which horse. Since everyone had pretty much picked their partner by that point, the decision was made rather quickly. In the end, Time claimed Beauty, Warrior and Hyrule took Cream, Twilight and Wind adopted the chestnut mare, Chickaloo, because she reminded Twilight of his Epona, and Legend and Sky wound up with the blue hued horse named Nightshade.

Then, of course, there was Red and Wild who would be riding Big Guy. Red practically vibrated with excitement as Wild gave him a boost into the saddle, Twilight hovering nearby in case he fell. Balancing on another's shoulders wasn't the safest, after all. But Red made it, and once settled and sitting tall, flashed the champion a wide, shining smile.

Wild snapped a photo with his Sheikah Slate while the others laughed and exclaimed at the absurdity of such a small person on top of a giant creature. Wind called for him to do a handstand, and inside Blue hissed that he better keep his butt right where it was.

In hopes to appease them both and get some cuddles in, Red reached forward to hug Big Guy's thick neck, leaning his cheek against the horse's fire orange mane. "Aww! Hold that," Wild instructed. "That's cute."

He did, soaking in the bliss of the moment.

"Let me up too!" Wind exclaimed, hopping closer and reaching for the saddle. His hands didn't even come close to the stirrup.

"Just don't do a handstand," Twi requested, coming around to give the youngest a boost.

"I want to take a pictograph," Wind said as he grabbed Red's outstretched hand for support and pulled himself into the saddle.

"Wanna be in it, Red?" Wind asked.

"Yes!"

Producing his pictobox, the sailor held it up and out in front of them both with one arm, the other coming to wrap around Red's chest as the boy leaned against him.

"Give me your best silly face. Go!"

Giggling, Red complied, sticking out his tongue and raising splayed hands to his ears like oversized deer antlers.

The click of the shutter signaled that the moment had been captured, and Red popped forward, eager to see how it had turned out.

Thankfully Wind wasted no time in flipping the box around and bringing up the most recent pictograph.

Red gasped. "How do you do that with your face?!" He grit his teeth and crossed his eyes, trying to recreate Wind's captured expression with his own facial muscles. Frustratingly, his eyes insisted on moving together.

A laugh rumbled through the sailor's chest and into his own. "I don't know. I just do it."

Red looked back at Wind, turning almost completely around in his seat to get a good view. "Do it again."

Fighting to tamp down the giggles, Wind did so, his jaw dropping low as he ground his teeth together and sent the pupils of his eyes in opposite directions.

Red squealed in awe.

"I don't think people's eyes are supposed to do that," Blue observed. "Please stop."

"That's so cool! Can you see in both directions at the same time?"

Wind dropped the face, blinking to reorient his eyes to normal. "Not really. I kinda see shapes and colors and stuff but nothing is clear. It's all blurry."

"Anyway, hold this, please," Wind passed the pictobox to Red and he took it, being sure to hold it tight, so he wouldn't drop it. That would be bad.

Curious, Red watched as Wind scooted back in the saddle until there was a space for another small body between them, then carefully rotated so his back was to Red.

"Watch your head. I don't want to kick you," Wind muttered for his ears only, and Red grinned, knowing exactly what Wind was about to do. He helped as much as he could, shifting forward and pressing against Big Guy's neck. He made sure to keep an eye on Wind the whole time, though. He didn't want to miss this.

"Hey, sailor," Twilight warned, likely not impressed by the way Wind had positioned his hands on the top of the horse's hindquarters. "What did I say?"

"I never promised!" Wind crowed. And with that, he lifted himself into a handstand, legs kicking up in perfect form.

"Whoo!" Red cheered.

"He's gonna break his neck," Blue grumbled. Red didn't think his brother had enough faith in Wind. He clearly knew what he was doing. His arms were barely even shaking, and he wasn't thrown off balance even when Big Guy shifted from foot-to-foot beneath them.

"That's epic!" Wild exclaimed, bringing up the Sheikah Slate to snap a photo.

"It's dangerous!" Twilight cried, Sky fretting beside him, his hands outstretched to catch the precariously balanced boy. "Wind, get down."

The sailor ignored him, his mind on something far more important. "Did you get the picture?"

"That doesn't matter! Get down before you fall!" Twilight exclaimed.

On the contrary, it mattered a lot. Wind didn't have horses to do handstands on in his time, let alone a horse this big! Red took it upon himself to snap a quick pictograph with Wind's box so the boy would always have the memory with him.

Not a second too soon, either, for Wild gave Wind confirmation not long after that and the boy shifted, scissoring his legs and dropping off to the side, much to the horror of the mother hens of the group.

Their gasps followed the sailor to the ground where he landed neatly on his feet, knees bent to absorb shock.

"Ta da!" Wind popped up to his full height, grinning at the other Links, most of which regarded him with mirth, including the old man.

Twi, however, pinched the bridge of his nose, and shook his head. "I can't believe you did that."

Legend snorted as Red carefully dropped the pictobox into Wind's awaiting hands. "I can."

"That was so cool!" Wild gushed as Hyrule nodded along enthusiastically. "Come look, sailor."

He held up the Sheikah Slate, and Wind rushed over to lay eyes on the image it had captured. Red couldn't see it from where he sat, but by the sparkle that lit up Wind's eyes, it had to be legendary.

"Now that we've all had our picto opportunities, let's get a move on, hmm?" Time suggested.

"Yes, please," Twi begged, eyeing Wind like he expected the boy to run off and do something else equally dangerous. "And you're not allowed near the giant horse anymore, Wind."

"You can't decide that!" Wind declared with confidence, hands on hips. "It's Wild's horse."

"That's right! The sailor can ride Big Guy all he wants," Wild announced to Wind's delight. He nudged Wind's shoulder with his own. "But for now, go with Twi." He lowered his voice, putting a hand next to his mouth conspiringly. "We can take more cool pictures when we stop for the day."

Beaming, Wind pumped his fists to his chest in victory, then bounded over to join the ranch hand.

"You better not pull any stunts like Wind," Blue warned as everyone migrated to their respective horses. "If we fall, there's no way we're landing on our feet."

Red hummed in acknowledgement. It was a long fall; that much was true. But Red wasn't worried. He didn't plan on doing anything dangerous. Blue snagged on the thought, sparking an image of a horse rearing in his brain. But even then, Red wasn't afraid because Wild wouldn't let anything happen to him. His friend's arms barring him in on either side as he reached around Red to grasp the reins assured him of that much.

He was safe and cozy and warm and smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. Although he hadn't planned on it, Red was glad he'd been pulled into control now. The horses and talking to the others and goofing off with Wind was exactly what he'd needed to shake off the last clingy vestiges of gloom.

Red, Wild, and Big Guy led the procession of heroes, plodding along the canyon path carved centuries ago. Red basked in the serenity of it, content to go slow. Little did he know, his friends had other plans.

A whoop was all the warning he got before Chickaloo shot past like an arrow fired from a bow, Wind and Twilight swiftly pulling ahead.

Wild kicked Big Guy into a gallop, and the race was on.

Their destination: a cooking pot the champion said laid somewhere around one of the bends.

Red didn't bother keeping an eye out for it. Being paired with the resident Link meant his team had the advantage of not celebrating too soon.

Despite the fact both Chickaloo and Cream had passed them, their riders were unsure of exactly where the goal lay and slowed down marginally to scan for it after a while.

Noticing this, Wild urged Big Guy to pass the distracted riders, and Red waved cheekily on the way past.

They didn't hold the lead long, though, since Big Guy slowed his charge rather quickly. But as much as Wild squawked in protest as they were knocked into second, then third, then fourth, Red didn't mind. The thrilling ride and competitive smiles on everyone's faces was reward enough.

In the end, Time proved to be the superior rider, beating them all to the cooking pot by a yard.

"We got beaten by the old man?!" Wind exclaimed, incredulous. He slapped Twi's shoulder. "I thought you said we'd win!"

"I never said that," Twilight objected, patting Chickaloo's foaming neck. "Although I am surprised. I didn't think you could ride like that."

Time smiled knowingly. "Oh please, pup, if I couldn't win a simple horse race I never would have my Epona."

"You gambled for her?!" Wind cried, astonished.

Twilight looked equally surprised. "Wait—I thought she belonged to Malon's family first. Didn't she just give Epona to you?"

"I don't know…did she?" Time queried, a playful gleam in his eye.

"Aww he's messing with us again," Wind whined.

A hearty laugh rumbled out of the eldest Link.

"I think it's less messing and more time shenanigans," Warrior observed. "Am I right, old man?"

Time smirked. "...Maybe."

"Nevermind. He's being a little shi-"

"Hey!" Sky protested. "Red's out. Watch your mouth."

Warrior promptly sealed his lips, sparing a glance Red's way.

He giggled. "It's okay. I'm not little right now, and I don't mind cursing as long as it isn't mean."

"Well, in that case…" Legend dramatically cleared his throat, preparing to unleash a wall of profanity, only to be stopped by Twilight.

"That doesn't mean pull out all the dirty words you know, vet."

"But I know so many," Legend quipped, causing titters to rattle through the group.

"And I'm sure they all have their place," Time said, picking up where his protege left off. "None of which is here."

"I beg to differ. I just lost a race."

"At least you didn't come in dead last," Wind chirped. That honor had gone to Red and Wild. It turned out Big Guy was built for strength, not speed.

Legend rolled his eyes, clearly unhappy with second to last. "Yeah, well, second is the first to lose."

Wind stuck his tongue out at the older boy. "Only salty losers say that."

"You wanna see a salty loser? I'll show you one—from my mirror shield as I leave you in the dust." Legend nudged Nightshade into a trot, passing a leisurely strolling Chickaloo.

Wind leaned forward, eyes narrowing in determination. "Oh, it's on!"

"It is not," Twilight interjected, stopping the friendly feud before it could get any further. "The horses need to rest."

No one could argue with that. The race had clearly winded their steeds, every one of them glittering with sweat and breathing hard through their nostrils. Red petted Big Guy sympathetically. He would give him a treat later, he decided. As a reward for putting up with them all.

"Exactly," Warrior agreed. "Plus, we're supposed to be looking out for monster camps."

Red was grateful for the reminder. Not only because it got the group back on track but also because he had no clue what their current goal was. Taking out monster camps. Good to know.

With eyes narrowed in playful challenge, Legend and Wind agreed to postpone their rematch for a later date, and Big Guy assumed the lead like before.

Their trek through the remainder of the canyon was leisurely and rife with playful jibes and plans of entertainment for that night. Red basked in it. There was no place he'd rather be than among his friends.

To his delight, he remained in that cozy camaraderie until they spotted a Hinox napping in the middle of their only path, Blue swiftly taking point and Red letting him. He hated fighting after all, and Blue took to it like a fish in water.

For Blue, the fight was refreshing. It gave him an outlet to release all his pent up feelings—ew feelings—about Shadow and the situation with the others. They'd apologized, he gathered, but he wasn't as quick to forgive and forget as Red.

That didn't mean he was a jerk, but he didn't go out of his way to talk to Warrior, Legend, Wild, or Hyrule in the coming days like he might have before. He answered when spoken to, of course, but remained wary—especially of the captain. He didn't trust the man to let go of his trauma so readily. Legend either. There was something he was hiding. Blue could feel it like an unbalanced blade.

Green and Vio held no such reservations, however. Like Red, they slid back into normalcy like it had never left, joking and studying and joining in on the nightly shenanigans alongside everyone else. Their lack of caution assured Blue his cold response to Green's note was justified. Clearly, he was the only one with the sense to properly look out for their well-being. If Green didn't like his methods, that was too bad.

Green tried to argue, of course, but quickly found it was like talking to a wall. He didn't get anywhere. Luckily, the frequent monster camps the group raided gave both Green and Blue plenty of ammunition to take their frustrations out on which kept the dissent away from Red.

They had just settled into a begrudging truce and bedded down at Outskirt Stable for the second time when Vio disrupted the peace with a proverbial bomb.

Shadow.

Green had almost forgotten about his offer. It had been met with silence after all, and it was for that reason he'd grown complacent, comfortable in their journey across Wild's Hyrule, wiping out every monster and monster camp they saw.

It was honest work, a knight's work, a hero's work, and Green relished in it.

Yet he couldn't help but shy away at the mention of the monster in their own head.

He's not a monster, Green tried to remind himself as he nodded along to what Vio was saying. Something about Shadow being ready to talk. He's a hurt part of Vio. That's all.

But it became increasingly difficult to keep that in mind as night fell, and Vio shepherded Shadow to the house where the four of them—Red insisted on being present as well, for which Green was eternally grateful—sat on the porch, Green and Red on one bench and Vio and Shadow on the other.

It was hard to look at Shadow. Literally. Green's gaze seemed to keep sliding off of him, and when he did manage to focus it, he nearly shuddered at what he saw. The boy was nothing like Vio. He was hardly a boy at all, more of a dark, shadow-y figure that gave off the vague impression of a person. His facial features were all a hazy blur aside from his eyes. They were the only clear bit, and they pierced Green's soul with their eerie blood-red glow.

Shadow looked much scarier than he did in life, and Green had a hard time reconciling the being before him with his bookish brother. He'd split off of Vio—so went the theory—but seeing him now up close, Green couldn't be sure.

Yet, Red had gone so far as to hug Shadow in greeting, and Vio held the shadow being's seemingly incorporeal hand, completely nonplussed.

As usual, it was only Green who remained tense and stumbling over words he tried so hard to mean. "H-hi, Shadow. Uh, thanks for coming. I, um…" He swallowed hard, eyes traitorously flicking back and forth between Shadow and the floorboards. It really was hard to focus on him, and he didn't exactly have a speech prepared with the meeting being so sudden. Stupid! "I'd like to start over. I mean…we never really got to know each other well before, but…I don't hold any ill will towards you. I don't want you to be afraid. I-I don't want to be afraid of you either, but I think that will just…come with time?"

He stole a hopeful glance at the boy, before his eyes slid off again. He forced them back, determined to make sure Shadow knew he was serious even if he had to stare past the shade's shoulder.

"I meant it, what I said in that message I had Vio give you. You're welcome here. You can come to the house anytime. Actually you can…you can live here if you want. We can make you a room." He glanced surreptitiously at Vio, suddenly uncertain. He wasn't the most adept one in the headspace, but he'd heard the others talk about creating objects and manipulating aspects of the inside world. "Right? We can do that?"

Vio grinned. "Absolutely."

"I don't know…" Shadow fidgeted, his form flickering in stuttering wisps like a violin string being vibrated. His glowing eyes narrowed at the nearest window. "It's kind of…light inside."

Green drew his own gaze to the same window, noting the firelight reflecting off the glass and making the inside look warm and cozy and inviting. At least, in his opinion. For Shadow, he knew, it was different.

But, for as much as he'd offered already, Green absolutely despised the idea of dousing all the lights. He needed to see. If he couldn't, Shadow had free reign, and while that was sort of the point, Green would like to know where he was. Shadow's eyes glowed plenty, but that only made the prospect scarier, someone watching him in the dark while he stumbled around.

No. That couldn't happen.

Luckily, Red had a solution. "We'll make a basement! No light would be able to reach down there!"

"That's perfect," Vio praised.

Red beamed. "Isn't it? So? What do you think?" He turned eagerly to Shadow who shrank in his seat under the intense gaze, nearly phasing through the bench. Vio's grip on his hand held him steady as his eyes flicked from Red's face to Green's to the floor.

"I…it sounds nice," Shadow said finally, voice nothing more than an echo Green could barely hear. "But I don't think I want to stay in the house. My dragon won't come near…and I like it in…in my cave."

Green barely suppressed a sigh of relief, then immediately felt guilty for feeling relieved at all. Shadow was exactly as Vio had claimed: scared.

"That's okay." A soft smile touched his lips, and this time, it wasn't forced. "Do whatever makes you most comfortable. Just know the basement will be here for you whenever you do want to visit."

"...Thank you."

"Of course. Now," Green slapped his hands on his thighs and stood. "What do you think about a tour of the sanctuary? I know you wanted to go before."

Originally, he had planned on offering only out of courtesy—and because he figured Vio expected it—but now he found he meant the invitation with his whole heart.

Shadow wasn't brash and outspoken like the enemy Green remembered. He was quiet and ghost-like, a shadow twice-over of the boy he once knew. Sure, he might have looked more demon-like than he had in life, but maybe resurrection did that to a person. In any case, Green was positive now that the last thing on Shadow's mind was devising ways to hurt them.

As such, he was more than welcome to seek shelter in the house or the Great Tree, or even the sanctuary. They were all safe places, and Shadow deserved to feel safe just as much as the rest of them.

"Is Blue going to be there?" Shadow wondered, seeming to melt even more into his seat.

"Yes, but he's busy controlling the body right now. He won't bother you," Vio assured him.

Shadow's eyes narrowed skeptically. "Are you sure?"

"Yup!" The reassurance came from Red this time. "He told me he's fine with you exploring as long as you're with one of us, and you'll be with all three of us so he can't be mad!"

"Really?" This was news to Green, and apparently to Vio as well, judging by the way his eyebrows had shot into his hairline.

"Yeah!"

"Good. Then you see? There's nothing to fear," Vio said, standing and encouraging Shadow to do so too with a gentle tug of their clasped hands. "What do you say?"

The previously sinking mass of shadow perked up slightly, gasping in a quiet breath. "As long as Blue won't get mad then…okay."

As soon as Shadow rose, Red rushed to take his other hand, and the four of them set off for the Sanctuary.


Shadow didn't know what he'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. The area Vio, Red, and Green had led him to was a near perfect replica of the Four Sword Sanctuary, complete with the Four Sword itself in its pedestal and a grand, roaring waterfall at the rear.

Blue knelt reverently over the sword, hands wrapped around the hilt and head bowed. He didn't so much as twitch at the click of their footsteps on the cobblestones. Or well, the others' footsteps. Shadow had elected to float, rather than walk. Much more comfortable.

"This is where the magic happens!" Red declared, dropping Shadow's hand and flinging his arms wide to present the sanctuary in all its glory.

"Except it's not magic," Vio said, leaning in to whisper into his ear.

Shadow huffed, not quite believing him. He still wasn't sure about the whole sharing a body thing, but if it was true, there was absolutely no way it was possible without magic.

"Over here, over here! Come look!" Red urged, skipping deeper into the sanctuary and waving for Shadow to follow. He pointed at the torrent of tumbling water. "You can see outside through the waterfall."

Warily, Shadow drifted a little closer. But not too close. He didn't trust Blue to not jump up and stab him as soon as he drew near.

The rushing water ended in a froth of white, and when he squinted he thought he could see flashes of something behind it. Distorted shapes. Vague impressions of colors. But they disappeared so fast he couldn't be sure if they were real or a trick of the light. Oh how light loved to play tricks…

"Looks like they just finished a battle," Green observed, as he approached the falling water. Whatever he saw, Shadow did not.

He glanced at Vio, wondering if there truly was something behind the waterfall or if this was all a great big prank to make him look dumb.

"It can be hard to see sometimes," Vio mentioned, squeezing his hand in an act of reassurance. "I've found getting closer helps."

But Shadow refused, phasing his hand out of Vio's and shaking his head vehemently. With his luck, the sun was hiding behind that waterfall, ready to scorch him to nonexistence.

"No? Alright. You don't have to." Vio retreated a step to remain at his side. "We can look and listen from here."

Except what they were looking at or listening for, Shadow wasn't sure. He couldn't see anything but indistinct flickers of maybe-something, maybe-nothing in the water and the air around them remained quiet. The only noise came from the breeze, ruffling the treetops or…wait. No. That wasn't right. There was something else. Something organic. A voice? It almost sounded like one, a whisper, an echo traveling down a deep, deep cave, but there wasn't enough substance to it to discern words.

Shadow strained his ears, listening with all his might but it was no use. It was like trying to listen to a Poe and they were terrible conversationalists. Their bodies didn't lend themselves to speech like other monsters'. The most sound they could manifest for living ears was a wail, sometimes a warped cackle, but otherwise nothing.

When a voice did meet his ears, it scared him so bad he jumped behind a nearby pillar.

"What are you lot doing?" Blue didn't sound pleased, but he didn't turn around and glare at them like Shadow expected.

"Showing Shadow around!" Red exclaimed.

A disgruntled huff was the only reply, and Red seemed to take that as an invitation to show Shadow more, encouraging him to look around and narrating what he could apparently see playing out before him in the water.

"Slow down, Red," Vio chuckled after a full minute of what Shadow could only interpret as gibberish—he talked about the sky and the wind and the concept of time like they were people. "It's his first time here like this. Let's not overwhelm him."

"Oh, right! Sorry!" Red turned back to the waterfall, then, entranced like he was watching a play and began to hum quietly to himself.

"Take all the time you need, Shadow," Vio said, leveling him with a soft gaze. "There's no rush."

And with that, the heroes of the Four Sword left him to his own devices. No one tried to coax him out from behind the pillar or over to the waterfall or jabbered away about nonsensical things. Occasionally one of them would make a comment or several but none were directed towards him. Most seemed to be for Blue, who responded, often grumpily, but never moved.

Shadow gradually settled atop the pillar, fascinated despite himself at the flickers in the falling water and the easy back-and-forth of the heroes below.

Suddenly, between one blink and the next, Green knelt in Blue's place, and the temperamental color now stood beside his brother, empty-handed. He gasped and Blue's attention shot to him, eyes narrowed to pinpricks. Their gazes locked, and dread settled over him like a thick blanket. He was halfway into the shadows by the time he realized Blue wasn't moving. The boy wasn't summoning a sword of light or even a lantern. He just crossed his arms and looked away with a grumble, redirecting his glare to the waterfall.

It seemed to captivate everyone, and the more Shadow watched, the more he began to understand why. There was something behind it. Something moving. Something alive. Except he could never identify what it was. His view, even when he inched back out of the shadows, was fuzzy, distorted by white spray and rushing water.

Yet Shadow swore there were snatches of clarity, the briefest of moments in which there would be a hiccup in the water, and an image winked at him. None of them were ever quite the same, but he catalogued them all, feeling they were important, part of a bigger picture somehow.

A worn dirt path lined with green. A bird balanced on a branch, wings spread in preparation for flight—or perhaps for balance after landing. A knight's armored back. A rearing horse, its front hooves frozen half-way through the startled motion. A person—one of the heroes—baring their teeth in challenge—no—in a smile. Multiple horses and armed riders barreling forth through the green, each smaller or bigger depending on distance.

Outside, Red had said. The waterfall let them see outside into the Other Place. Which meant every glimpse was a frozen moment snatched directly from Link's eyes. The thought was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure. Shadow had no desire to be trapped behind another looking glass. And yet, the opportunity to see through a hero's eyes fascinated him. He couldn't help thinking how useful it would have been when he was alive, too. To be able to see what Vio saw, what Green did, and Red and Blue…he would have known their every move. He would have seen Vio's betrayal coming from a mile away.

But most importantly, he would have recognized far sooner just how monstrous he was. How evil. How awful. How mean.

All his worst qualities, reflected back at him four times over.

No matter what Vio claimed, he wasn't a hero. He never could be, and the thought of having to pretend again had him sinking back into the safety of the shadows.

Oh, sure, Vio had said he wouldn't have to. That the other heroes knew of him and would welcome him with open arms. But that had to be a lie. They were all heroes of light. In what world would they accept a being of shadow like him in their midst? None that Shadow knew of, that was for sure.

Shadow shivered. He was so close here. So close to heroes. To Link. To being Link like he had before. It might have sounded silly, but every glimpse he got felt taboo, like he was intruding on something private, like he was tempting fate and the more he looked, the more he risked being pulled in. So he concentrated on the Four Sword Heroes instead.

He watched as they traded places. Sometimes it was fast like a snap of two fingers, other times it came slower, one walking up to the sword and easing the other boy's fingers off, or simply adding their own.

No one invited Shadow over to the blade. Of course not. It would have burned him, and he was more than content to keep his distance. However, he caught Vio glancing at his hiding place every once in a while, a longing look on his face as if he wanted to share the experience with Shadow.

But that would be a death sentence. Or as good as one, anyway. The Four Sword Heroes might have been able to withstand the Other Place without consequence but he couldn't. Maybe if he possessed even a scrap of their courage, things would be different. Then he wouldn't be such a disappointment to Vio. He wouldn't be making Blue mad or Green scared or Red sad.

The fantasy sounded nice, if unattainable, and for a while, Shadow let himself imagine what it would be like if he were a creature of light like them. If light force didn't decimate all his broken pieces, but held them together instead.

He could hold the sword without fear, then. Step into the light without burning. Be friends with the other heroes and not have to worry that they'd turn against him. Because heroes never did that to other heroes. Not for real.

The real betrayals were saved for heinous creatures of darkness like him. He still didn't understand why Vio was so kind to him of all people. Especially now. Hero's nature, he supposed, but then Blue wasn't nice, so maybe not. Maybe it was guilt. Shame for treating another soul so poorly, even if that soul was born of shadows.

That had to be it, Shadow decided. Vio was using this opportunity to assuage his own guilt. Maybe if he showed Shadow around enough, had the rest of Link's parts accept him, then the past wouldn't matter. He would have more than made up for it.

But Shadow didn't want him to. There was nothing to make up for. He'd been treated exactly how he'd deserved. Sure, maybe he wasn't as evil as Vaati or Ganon, but he'd done awful things just the same. Regretting them now didn't make him good. It didn't make him deserve Vio's kindness or Green's forgiveness or Red's warmth. Heck, he didn't even deserve Blue's indifference.

He was a despicable being to his core, and the reminder had him retreating, slinking away without a word. He wasn't needed there. The trip to the sanctuary had proved as much. While he cowered behind a pillar, the Four Sword Heroes acted, bustling around the sanctuary with both word and action like a well-oiled machine. All Shadow could possibly do was clog it with his filth.

He hadn't this time, but he knew he had before. When he wasn't aware that there were two places divided by a veil of falling water. When he was still freshly resurrected or possibly dead—he still didn't know which it was.

But now he confirmed Vio's stories as truth, and that was why he knew he had no business in that sacred place, that roaring, blurry portal between one world and the next. He wasn't a hero of light. He wasn't a hero at all. He was the opposite, a stain, a disease, an infection of night that decimated everything in its path.

Vio was wrong to bring him there. Green, wrong to invite him. Shadow himself, wrong to accept, to think he could possibly belong, be a part of something bigger. That had been his downfall before, after all. Wanting more than what he had. Lusting for a life filled with companionship and purpose.

Shadows didn't get a say. They didn't get a life. Their role was to follow, to obey, to watch and listen but never speak. To exist on the fringes of perception. To never draw attention, good or bad. To give dimension to objects and creatures but never gain it themselves.

It was safer that way, Shadow told himself as he snuggled under the belly of his dragon. Safer for him.

Safer for everyone.


Resources (remove spaces and add punctuation as indicated):

did (dash) research (d o t) o r g (slash) treatment (slash) integration

In this chapter, Red says that he feels like the system would be better off if he disappeared, and I feel that it is important to point out that the only way alters can "disappear" is in the case of full integration and even then they aren't entirely gone. Integration, or fusion, basically means two separate alters combine to create a new alter. The link I've provided explains more about integration/fusion and the types. I recommend checking it out if you're interested to know more.

If videos are more your speed, Multiplicity and Me explains integration and fusion with visual aids in their video on YouTube, "Integration/Fusion in Dissociative Identity Disorder."

learn about did (d o t) c o m (slash) 2021 (slash) 07 (slash) 25 (slash) dormant (dash) alters (slash)

There is also another way in which alters can "disappear", which is called dormancy. I like how this article written by a system with the experience explains it like a dormant volcano, asleep but able to awake again in the future. Meefling, who beta'd this chapter for me, also informed me that "some systems even have physical spaces where dormant alters are stuck" while in dormancy. This effectively cuts dormant alters off from the rest of the system, although they are still very much part of it despite being inactive.