This is a short one and I loved writing it. Slowly but surely this slow burn is progressing. Very soon, we will get to the interesting parts. Thank you again for all the kudos and sweet comments. I'm loving this journey so far!
Mikasa's decision to enlist in the cadets during the 104th recruitment was inevitable. Deep down, she held a secret hope that Eren would have a sudden change of heart and reconsider his relentless pursuit of eradicating Titans.
That wasn't Mikasa's dream. What she genuinely longed for was a peaceful existence in this cruel world she was born into. She was willing to accept living like cattle as long as it meant staying by Eren's side.
His determination was unshakable. Once he set his mind on something, nothing could sway him. Mikasa understood this better than anyone. She knew the importance of sticking by his side and protecting him, firmly convinced that his chances of survival were slim without her.
To Mikasa, Eren wasn't only a friend—he was her family, the only remaining family she had.
Therefore, when she decided to join the cadets it wasn't merely a choice; it was a commitment to safeguarding her last connection to what she called home.
Mikasa was surprised to find herself quickly rising to the top, earning the prestigious first rank among all recruits. Despite Eren's suggesting she contemplate a future in the Military Police, Mikasa was already committed to staying by his side, no matter where he went.
Her exceptional talents and abilities garnered escalating praise and respect from instructors and fellow cadets. The Survey Corps, often referred to as the "Suicide Corps," took notice, expressing keen interest in recruiting her for their perilous expeditions beyond the safety of the walls alongside their most elite soldiers.
Renowned for their bravery and desperation, they were driven by a constant quest for truth despite the high risks involved. Casualties were tragically common, and survival often came down to split-second decisions and sheer luck. Yet, for those who chose to dedicate their hearts, it offered an opportunity to defy the odds, confront the unfathomable, and willingly sacrifice everything for a cause greater than themselves.
The instructors regularly stressed the importance of pushing oneself to the limit, emphasizing even more that only the most capable stood a chance to survive.
This was Eren's calling. He was fully prepared to give his life for humanity and freedom. To Mikasa, it went beyond that; it meant being willing to sacrifice everything, including her life unwillingly. But was it truly for the sake of humanity and freedom? No, it was for the sake of love.
On the pivotal day of the evaluation to join the Survey Corps, Mikasa recalled the many eyes fixed on her, brimming with admiration for her flawless performance and successful completion of all the exams. While others found hope in her accomplishments, Mikasa was overwhelmed by the certainty that her life was on the brink of irrevocable change.
Amidst the crowd stood a woman with tousled brunette hair and glasses named Hange Zoë, as eccentric as ever, launching into a lengthy discourse about Titans that left the fresh recruits fighting off yawns. Another peculiar sight was a man systematically going around, sniffing them—a behavior that bordered on the absurd. Surrounded by these eccentricities, Erwin Smith, the commander, was imposingly tall, with striking brows and immaculate blond hair catching the light. He exuded an apparent air of authority and confidence. One look was all it took for Mikasa to know that he was destined to lead.
Soon, her attention shifted to another figure emerging from the back of the stage, arriving just in time for the ceremony. This individual had a stoic expression, eyeing them suspiciously as if they were nothing but living filth.
For reasons she couldn't pinpoint, Mikasa was intrigued as she observed him approaching the stage. His uniform clung to his well-defined muscles and his impeccable posture radiated strength, hinting at a rigorous workout routine. Framed by a cleanly shaved raven undercut, his sharp features and piercing eyes took in everything with a keen observation. Every aspect of his poise suggested precision and discipline, undoubtedly forged by countless harsh experiences.
Simultaneously, there was also a distant or slightly annoyed attitude about him, as if he had been through similar situations many times before and was displeased to be there.
His mysterious allure held her transfixed as if her eyes refused to look away. Was it merely because he was an attractive man who captivated her attention, like the other soldiers around her? Amidst whispers in the crowd — "It's him." — she wondered: Who exactly was he?
It was Captain Levi Ackerman, Humanity's strongest soldier.
Throughout the entire ceremony, he didn't acknowledge her presence or her impressive combat skills being read aloud when she stepped on stage to claim her title of official soldier in the Survey Corps. Later on, when she was assigned to his training group for the afternoon, it turned out to be less about honing combat techniques and more about cleaning. He directed them to scrub a large stable.
It was incomprehensible to Mikasa why they were assigned cleaning duties instead of being rewarded with a decent meal, especially after pledging their commitment to the Survey Corps and expressing their willingness to risk their lives.
After scrubbing for a solid hour without any signs of progress, Mikasa was suddenly startled by a loud thud—the distinct sound of someone hitting the ground forcefully. When she turned around, she was dismayed to see Eren sprawled in a pile of horse manure, tossed there by the Captain.
In a split second, driven purely by her protective instincts and without assessing the situation, she surged forward with determined strides, her eyes narrowed and fists clenched. It was instinctual—anyone who dared to lay a hand on Eren would have to answer to her, regardless of rank or reason.
Armin rushed in, seizing her arm and urging her to restrain herself, but his intervention came too late. The Captain had already taken notice.
"What's wrong, Ackerman? Feeling left out of the horse shit bath?"
This marked their first-ever interaction and resulted in Mikasa being summoned to the offices. It later came to light that Eren's deliberate stalling was the reason that provoked Captain Levi's reaction.
Upon reflection, Mikasa acknowledged she had crossed a line. Levi Ackerman was her superior, and it was only her first day in the military. Armin pointed out her defiance of authority by acting on her emotions and reiterated that military life demanded strict respect for hierarchy, unlike life on the streets. Although Eren was unharmed, he expressed frustration over her continued protectiveness and advised her to ease up. They were both right—she couldn't let her emotions dictate her actions. It was too late; Mikasa had to face the consequences and feared being separated from Eren if punished.
Seated at a small table by the window, he was methodically polishing a set of empty tea cups. His usual uniform had been swapped for plain black pants and an unbuttoned white shirt, with sleeves rolled up to reveal his well-defined muscles more prominently than his uniform ever did. The setting sun's golden light bathed his skin in a warm glow as he concentrated on gently cleaning the porcelain tea cups. Fully engrossed in his task, he appeared remarkably serene and paid no attention to Mikasa's presence.
It was an odd characteristic of his, showing little regard for the basic decorum expected of someone of his rank. Perhaps she was overthinking it. After all, she was just a newly enlisted soldier, unlikely to survive the first expedition beyond the walls—a fresh recruit who had also dared to challenge his authority.
Mikasa stood silently, her gaze fixed on the ground near the entrance, awaiting instructions and uncertain what would happen next—forgetting completely to lift her chin and offer a salute.
Finally, he set aside what he was doing, and Mikasa could hear his menacing footsteps approaching. This wasn't going to end well.
Without warning, he executed a swift leg sweep, causing her to crash to the ground with all her weight landing awkwardly on her left leg. The move was performed with precise efficiency, taking her completely by surprise. As Mikasa struggled to regain her balance, he wasn't finished yet. In one seamless motion, he grabbed the collar of her shirt and forcefully pulled her towards him
In this vulnerable position, Mikasa felt the full brunt of his strength as he crouched down, effortlessly holding her firmly in place. His grip was so strong that it almost lifted her entire upper body from the ground with just one hand.
Amidst all that had transpired, one detail Mikasa initially failed to notice was how close their faces had come when he pulled her in, bringing them nearly nose to nose. This intimate proximity seemed intentional, his slight smirk revealing defiance and amusement. Looking down at her, he was fully aware of her vulnerability and confident she wouldn't dare to retaliate. Mikasa felt cornered, like helpless prey.
"I figured you wanted this so badly too."
Despite the throbbing ache in her leg, Mikasa maintained her calm in response to his verbal provocation, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a visible reaction. She wasn't naive; she understood perfectly well what he was trying to achieve—testing her limits and imparting a lesson.
Unwilling to concede defeat easily, Mikasa kept her glare locked on him, her rebellious nature resurfacing again. She couldn't win a physical confrontation in this vulnerable position but was determined to prevail at least in their silent staring contest.
"Don't silence those eyes," a voice whispered in her ear—or so she imagined.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and what she saw in his felt like peering into a world she had already known and lived in.
She was spellbound by their mesmerizing beauty—a memory that would remain etched in her mind forever.
Those eyes would ultimately be the reason she spared his life two years later.
Never had she looked so deeply into another's eyes before. His were the most striking steel-colored orbs she had ever seen, blending undertones of coldness with subtle warmth, each hue telling countless untold stories—the very essence of his soul laid bare before her.
His past and present were fraught with struggles, losses, unspoken pain, and nightmares of battles of a wounded heart, all concealed in the deepest depths of his being.
Her surroundings began to fade away. For a brief moment, she wondered which setting would most beautifully capture his eyes: the soft dawn's first light, bathed in the current sunset's warm glow, or perhaps beneath the shimmering canopy of a starlit night sky?
The abrupt realization that she might never again have the chance to look into his eyes so intimately overwhelmed her with profound sorrow.
"What's wrong with me?"
Despite the deep sadness they evoked, she longed to remain lost in them, forever.
"Your eyes are killing me."
She opened a gateway to a realm where time seemed to stand still, swept up in an array of unfamiliar yet soothing emotions that made her hesitant to leave and instead claim it as her home.
"What are you seeing?"
She could feel the vibrant hues of his eyes, mingling with hers, giving birth to a new color that illuminated every dark corner of her soul, infusing it with newfound hope.
"I see myself in you."
And if they were to have a child together, would their child inherit his or her eyes? Or a blend of that hopeful hue they created together?
"Never before did I know the feeling of a stable home, but in your eyes, I found it. My home."
She had heard of galaxies filled with stars. Armin had vaguely described them to her once.
"Galaxies, Mikasa? They're like vast constellations of stars, dancing together in the night sky. Each one tells a story of the boundless love that runs through the universe, transcending time and space, connecting everything on its way."
She was caught in the gravitational pull of his eyes, adrift in their unique realm of endless love.
Do eyes fall in love on their own?
"I think we could live forever in each other's faces, just like this.
"Can we?"
This morning, even before she was fully aware of it, her eyes instinctively sought him out in every crowd, desperately scanning faces. Before even knowing who he was, they longed for him; eager to finally meet.
"Your eyes are killing me."
His sweet-scented breath, possibly from the tea he'd been drinking, mingled with her senses, grounding her back to reality. How long had they been in this uncomfortable position? His grip on her collar remained tight, causing discomfort and pain.
Something didn't feel right.
His expression now carried a hint of confusion. Mikasa's breathing grew heavy, and a lump formed in her throat. Finally noticing her unease, he slowly released her.
She caught a glimpse of his past, present and.. his future.
In his eyes, she saw her most cherished dream—a vision of the life she prayed for every night.
A life she had only imagined with Eren, a dream she had tried many times to visualize with him but couldn't, as if her conscience blocked her from doing so.
What felt like mere seconds had stretched into an eternity.
She saw their life unfold together, a timeline with him by her side: their first kiss, a simple yet romantic wedding ceremony, a cozy home scented with his favorite teas, and her beloved freshly baked cakes. Occasional bickering and disagreements but always resolved in each other's arms. They experienced the pains of childbirth and the joys of parenthood, the laughter of their two boys echoing through the air as they raced up hills. They treasured family holidays and gatherings with friends, proudly sent their children off to school, witnessed them grow into adults, celebrated their marriages, became grandparents, and eventually she laid him to rest, fulfilling his wish that he would go first.
In his eyes, she had lived a beautiful life by his side, brimmed with nothing but pure happiness and love until the very end.
Suddenly, Mikasa felt a warm, wet sensation on her cheeks—tears were streaming down her face.
No. She had been crying the entire time. Hence his puzzled expression.
After issuing a stern warning and reprimand for her morning conduct, he promptly dismissed her, taken aback by the turn of events. It was rare for him to feel shaken yet seeing her in tears stirred a wave of remorse. Had he been too brutal in his approach? She appeared fine when she stood up, but as he resumed polishing his cups, he couldn't shake the image of her tear-filled eyes that carried a mixture of elation, relief, and sadness all at once.
In that shared moment, he felt an inexplicable pull as if something deeper within her eyes was calling out to him. Had they met before, he wondered, or was this just a figment of his imagination?
Because what he saw in there felt strangely real.
As unlikely as it seemed, he caught a glimpse of what looked like his future, a timeline of his life unraveling—a life in the not-too-distant future awaiting them both. Together. A future unmarred by darkness or fear, but bathed in better days, love and promises fulfilled.
It took Mikasa nearly an hour to reach her dormitory, dragging herself along slowly and painfully, her eyes swollen from the tears that continued to fall even after she left him. She couldn't understand the reason for this sudden outburst of emotions.
She kept replaying the perfect future she had seen, as if it were a fleeting gift from some higher power, or perhaps a hallucination.
But it didn't matter.
For the first time, she wasn't just daydreaming. She caressed a dream that was incredibly dear to her—a dream she wanted to see come true.
The only problem was that it involved the wrong person.
Three years later, those same eyes of his were the reason she couldn't pull the trigger that day when he presented himself to her in the hospital.
She'd had him at her mercy, the pistol in her hand and his life hanging by a thread, but she couldn't do it. She could have ended it all, freed both of them from their torment, but she couldn't. That same inner voice reached out to whisper again, pleading with her.
"Don't silence those eyes,
For what they revealed to you,
In mere seconds,
Don't silence those eyes,
For that profound happiness you felt,
That lingered for a lifetime."
