A/N: Nothing is mine...sadly. The title is inspired by the song Whole by Jordan Hart (the cover art for the single is an outline of MerDer embracing!)


Boston is…Boston. It's busy. It's..it's Boston.

It's weird that they aren't surrounded by the craziness of Grey Sloan and it's even stranger that they no longer work together. At least not in the same department.

It's also a little sweet because they both look forward to seeing each other after missing one another the whole day. They plan lunch dates, dinner dates. They're…normal.

So it's new. And weird. And sweet.

But above all. It's home. Their children are happy and healthy. And there are no bombs or crashes. No airplanes crash landing or hospitals blowing up to destroy their happiness.

So Boston is home.

Derek shuts the door of his Cayenne and makes his way up the brick road leading to the front door of their home. He should've been home hours ago but a last minute consult had his full attention. He'd texted Meredith he'd be home later than planned but in time for dinner. She replied that she had already left the lab and to take his time.

He unlocks the door and sighs with relief. He's home and the sounds of someone clattering in the kitchen echo in the house. He takes off his coat and hangs it up on the rack alongside three coats belonging to preteens and another belonging to the love of his life. She's left her keys on the tray next to the photograph of their children on their last ferry boat ride in classic Seattle, the distant skyline framing their joyful faces against a backdrop of vibrant blue water and a clear sky.

It was the most perfect ferry boat ride he had ever been on in his life.

It's a nice little reminder that they've come a long way.

"Hey, Dad!" Bailey greets him as he makes his way up the stairs that face the front door.

Derek smiles at his son and watches as he dashes up the stairs, "Hey! Did you already have dinner?"

"Not yet," Bailey leans over the rail, "Mom's in the kitchen. She says I stink of sweat so she sent me off to shower first."

Derek chuckles, "How was practice?"

Bailey has followed in his father's footsteps and joined the hockey team. It terrifies his parents- especially his father- but they are more than willing to support him. They tried- Derek tried to sway him otherwise but Bailey was persuasive. The parents were left to occasionally voice their concerns in hopes that the day will come when they annoy their son enough that he decides they're right and drops out of the team to return to soccer. A long shot but the parents hope.

"Long," Bailey sighs, "But it was so cool. Coach says he may put me in the starting line soon."

Derek's chest constricts but Bailey doesn't notice. His blue eyes are filled with excitement at sharing the news with his best friend. He's excited and Derek can't bring himself to break his son's heart. If he could keep him in a glass box and shelter him, he would. But that's not how he wants his children to live. They shouldn't carry his fears or his burdens. They should be free to run and fall and learn and pick themselves up again to run as far as life will take them. He'll just make sure to always be there to help them get back up.

So he smiles back, "I'm proud of you, kid."

"Thanks, Dad-"

"Mom says to stop getting distracted with dad," Zola steps into the hallway and looks up at the railing where her brother leans. Derek laughs at his kids before Bailey rolls his eyes and runs off.

"Hey daddy!" Zola, who now wears her hair in long twists that reach her waist, reaches over to wrap her lithe arms around his waist. She's grown taller again and reaches his shoulder. She wears lip gloss and has pierced her ears. It frightens him but makes him proud to see his daughter grow into the beautiful young woman she is.

"Hey, princess," he pecks the top of her head, "How are you feeling today? You seemed a little uneasy this morning."

"I had a test and a dress rehearsal for recital," She shrugs, "I'm okay, I promise. Mom says she needs you in the kitchen."

He nods before making his way down the hallway. His daughter's footsteps echo behind him as she runs up the stairs. Another set of feet run down until they reach him and tackle him from behind.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, baby girl!" he can't carry her anymore. Ellis has outgrown the era where she'd jump into his arms and he'd lift her up until she held tightly onto him. He missed it, deeply. But watching his children grow is something he can't take for granted. So he embraces the fact that he's watching them grow and mature, "How was your day today?"

"I got to practice on the bars today in gymnastics!" she excitedly shares with him, her short blonde hair bouncing at her shoulders as she walks alongside him. She's always been the fearless one and her parents had decided that her acrobatic skills should be put to good use. So, she eagerly accepted their offer to sign her up for gymnastics, " Oh! And Momma almost burned the kitchen so she ordered take out."

"I did not!" A shriek comes from the kitchen and he can't help the way he smirks when he turns to his daughter.

"She totally did," Ellis whispers as they enter the kitchen, "Mom, should I set the table?"

"You might as well after ratting me out to your father," she teases, "It was supposed to be our secret. You know? A momma and Ellie thing?"

He smiles at the sight. Meredith tosses an apron on the kitchen counter, frustrated at the fact that whatever she had planned had failed. She's not meant for the kitchen, he knew that when he married her. But she's adorable when she tries

Returning to Boston had been daunting at first. Many ghosts had chased her around for the first few months but soon enough, she had found her footing. It was like she had always been destined to return. Not as the sad little girl whose life had been turned over. Not as the sad little girl whose father left and whose mother was too preoccupied to raise her. But as the woman with a family, three children, a husband she loved, and a career she paved for herself.

Meredith places a hand on her hip and leans against the kitchen counter as she shakes her head.

"Sorry Mom," Ellis scrunches her nose as she makes her way to the next room.

Derek chuckles as he rolls up his sleeves and peaks at the food still in plastic containers. He peers at the charred pan sticking out of the trashcan, "So you burned the kitchen?"

"Almost burned the kitchen. I tried making that thing with the- forget it. This is why you and Ellie are the cooks!" Meredith exhales as she rolls her eyes. She smiles at him, her frustration melting away, "Hi."

He leans down to kiss her sweetly, "Hi."

"How was your day?"

He reaches for his briefcase and pulls out a manilla folder. There are documents sticking out of it with highlighted data points and graphs and post-its with additional notes. The folder thuds against the white marble of the kitchen island. Derek taps it with his fingers before leaning against it and sighing, "That thing you asked me to look into-"

"Oh you know what?" Meredith turns to him as if she just remembered a lost thought, "Amy called and said she'd fly out here for Christmas and she's totally fine with your mom spending it here too. Maggie is spending it with her dad but she'll visit before the new year."

"You're sure you're okay with two other extra Shepherds?"

"It's just your mom, Amy spent the holidays with us for many years," she raises her brow, "It'll be fine."

"That's what we said when we were in New York and we were ambushed."

"Derek!"

He raises both hands before washing his hands, "I'm just saying we should prep an escape plan just in case. There's a little inn downtown we can hide over there if we need to."

Meredith laughs as she watches him reach for the towel. He tosses it on the counter and steps into her space. Her breath hitches when his lips touch hers. Every nonsensical thought, every problem of the day, every fear, just disappears. He still does that. He still makes her feel safe. He still does that. He still makes her feel safe.

He pulls away softly and nuzzles his nose against her, "I missed you."

She shakes her head, "We had lunch together, today."

"It's not enough," He kisses her again, "I'm having withdrawals"

She smiles into the kiss, her hand sweetly caressing his cheek before tangling in his long tresses. She tugs at it gently before pulling back and smiling at him.

"Your hair's longer."

He grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners, "Are telling me I need a haircut?"

Meredith shakes her head, "Nope."

His dark tresses have been replaced with silver locks. A testament of a long lived life. A life they've created together despite the impossible odds and the many curve balls thrown at them. She's found silver in her own blonde tresses and he's discovered that the lavender scent he loved so much has been replaced with a vanilla scent. It doesn't bother him, if anything it reminds him that she's no longer the young novice he met at the bar. She's at the top of their field and a force to be reckoned with.

To some these changes are small and insignificant. To the pair, it's everything.

Derek reaches down and kisses her once more before she giggles and nudges him away. The kids are everywhere and they've already been told their gross and show too much PDA. Meredith had laughed and Derek had reminded them that once upon a time, they had forced them to renew their vows because they had missed their wedding. They didn't mind the PDA then.

But Meredith's motherly instincts are right as footsteps echo from the hallway.

"Hey Mom?" Zola enters the kitchen with a paper in hand, "Can one of you please sign my permission slip for the engineering competition? It's due tomorrow."

Meredith nods warmly as she takes the slip from her daughter's hand, her eyes scanning over the details.

"Hey," Derek turns to her with a mischievous grin, "Do me a favor? Can you and your friends engineer some sort of time machine that will shrink you back down into the little girl with the two puffs that would follow me around saying she'd be a 'newer-surgeon'? I bet it'll win you first place."

Meredith laughs as she shakes her head. She's certain their daughter rolls her eyes because when she can hear her release a long sigh, "Ha ha. Very funny, just like the first one-hundred times you said it, Dad"

Derek's jaw drops, "Are you mocking me? Meredith is our daughter mocking me?"

"Who do you think she learned it from?" Meredith giggles.

"Not me," he shakes his head, "I'm not one to mock. I don't even know what that means."

"Uh-huh," Meredith pokes her tongue out at her daughter as she hands the slip over to her, "Zo, do me a favor and help set these out on the dining room table after you put this away. Ellis already started on the place mats."

Zola nods and scurries out the kitchen.

"I promise you won't have to ever get me any birthday or Christmas presents ever again if you build one!" Derek calls out as he watches his daughter leave the kitchen with her signed form in her hands, "Where did the time go?"

"I ask myself that everyday," Meredith sighs, "Soon she's really gonna want that car she wanted when she was four."

He smiles, "And then she and Bailey will be fighting over it."

"And Ellis won't be too far behind," Meredith wistfully replies.

They've been in Boston for close to two years now.

It's home.

The milestones like driving and first dates are bound to be in Boston and not in Seattle like they had once envisioned. Their lives are not the same lives as the ones they had in Bainbridge Island.

And that's okay. They've found a way to move forward and adjust. Together.

They're still tight knit and they're growing. And they're thriving. Their children are safe and thriving. What more could they ask for?

"So that thing that I asked you to look into?" Meredith reminds him as she nudges to the folder he had, "I'm assuming it wasn't the Christmas thing that you meant."

He turns to her and nods, "No it wasn't. It's about-"

"Can we eat now?," Bailey enters the kitchen with moist hair. It's darkened over the years just as his mother had predicted. There's a hint of curls growing at the base of his neck and he's proving to be a near replica of his father, "I'm kind of starving."

Derek turns to him with a playful scoff, "You're always starving."

"So are you," Bailey shrugs as he pokes around, "Except I'm the growing kid."

Derek blinks. Meredith can't help the uproarious laugh that escapes her.


Some things are different. And some are the same.

Meredith sits in her office as the light from the laptop in front of her reflects the research she's been diligently working on. Her desk is full of papers and journals and printed studies. There's copies of scans and notes. She's become obsessed with it. It's the first thing she thinks of as soon as her kids are at school and the last thing she thinks of after kissing her husband good night.

If Derek's noticed, he doesn't say anything. At least not yet. He knows how much the work means to her and he understands that it's not easy. He's well aware that even if he tries to pry her away from long nights, he won't be successful in pulling her away. So he does what he does best. He hovers silently, he invites her for lunch dates and takes her out for dinner. And when he doesn't, he makes sure she eats and sleeps. She pretends she doesn't notice. She used to push him away after all. But now, she understands. So she lets him take care of her. She lets him be her knight in shining whatever so long as she's his knight in shining whatever.

She can hear his laugh alongside their kids' laughter from her office. They've been outside making s'mores since they finished dinner. Their dinners are loud and boisterous. They're filled with conversations about the kids' days. There's friendships, science fairs, cello recitals, hockey games, math tests, book reports, and gymnastics. There's always excitement to share, there's a hope behind their eyes that they'd missed in the chaos before their move.

And her children's childhood has proven to be nothing like her own.

Meredith slams the laptop closed and makes her way to the kitchen. There's a bottle of wine set on the counter alongside a glass. It's an invitation he's left her. When she's ready, she should join them.

Meredith opens the slide door and 're sitting on their outdoor sofa in the cozy patio centered around a warm and glowing fire pit. Zola's deck of cards has been taken out and they've all been losing against her for a while. Derek groans as Bailey and Zola snicker. Ellis pats his back gently.

"It's okay, Daddy, you'll win next time," she gently reassures him.

Derek reaches to kiss his youngest's forehead, "You're the only one that loves me, Ellie."

Meredith snorts, "Alright Little Grey Shepherds, you've had your dad time. My turn. It's way past nine, you three need to head up to bed. "

"Aww"

"Mom! It's Friday!"

"Can we stay up five more minutes?"

Meredith's eyes flicker to Derek as she quietly signals him. He catches her glance and nods slightly.

"Momma's right," he sits up with a groan. He turns in his cards to his oldest and grimaces, "You guys gotta go to bed."

Amid groans and protests, The Not-So-Little Grey Shepherds make their way inside, each one giving their parents a quick hug goodnight. Meredith watches them go, her heart swelling with love and contentment. She places the glass of wine next to his beer bottle before she takes a seat next to her husband, the soft cushions of the outdoor sofa sinking slightly under her weight.

"It's your turn, huh?" his voice low and comforting.

"Yes," she rests against him and sighs, "It's my turn."

His arms wrap around her and he can swear that the world has stopped around him. This moment, so pure, so perfect, is everything he once dreamed of. They listen to the cackling of the fire as they sit in this perfect moment. For just this moment, the world has stopped.

"Did Bailey tell you that his coach wants him starting soon?"

Derek can't help the slight chuckle that escapes him, "I can't believe you're well versed in his sports now."

"We both agreed we would never stop them from pursuing things that interested them," she says ignoring his comment, "But I know this is different and I know how you feel about that."

Derek sighs, "I really wish he hadn't tried out."

"But he did. And he likes it."

"And it's dangerous and it's brutal and the risks-"

"Which is why we said we'd take it year by year," she mutters as she sits up straight.

"I know, I know. I'm just terrified but I have to get over it," he whispers, "He deserves a chance to try it out and hey, maybe we'll get lucky and-"

"He's not gonna quit. He's not a quitter. He's hard headed like the both of us and sometimes it serves him well."

"Yeah," Derek resigns, "Ellie? Is she giving us any trouble?"

"Not that I know of. Not today at least," Meredith giggles, "But she did ask if she can take the tumor on the wall into her treehouse."

"She wants the tumor? Ellis wants the tumor?"

"Mmhm," Meredith hums, "You know her, she likes to collect treasures up there."

Derek shakes his head, "I'm gonna break her heart when I tell her she can't take it up there aren't I?"

Meredith laughs into the dark night as she wraps her arms around his waist. She feels his chest rumble as he hums in pure blissful contentment. For a moment, it's quiet. They're both at peace in the silence and can just be.

"Meredith?"

"Hmm?"

"The thing you asked me to look into?"

She tightens her hold, a gust of wind sends chills through her spine, "Yeah?"

"I looked into it."

She raises her head and makes eye contact with him. She waits a moment and studies his face. Her husband is gone and suddenly she's faced with Dr. Shepherd. A colleague and a leader in his field of neurosurgery and neuroscience.

"And?"

She's testing waters in his field.

He shifts slightly and sits up straighter to meet her eyes, "You're on to something, Dr. Grey."

She's researching Alzheimer's and she's found inconsistencies in previously published data. She's made connections between gut microbiomes and Alzheimer's disease progression. It's a breakthrough. A possible breakthrough.

"So you see it? You see the inconsistencies?"

"I do."

"But? I hear a 'but' There's a 'but' coming."

"There's no 'but'" he shakes his head, "There's an 'and' not a 'but'"

"What's the 'and'?"

"You're onto something and you're gonna be faced with a lot of pushback. Years- decades- of research is going to be discredited once this is published and many in the field are going to turn against you and you'll be jeopardizing your career."

"So what?" she shrugs, "I just sit on this? You want me to just sit on this for the sake of my career and other people's ego?"

"I want you to sit on this? No. I do not want you to sit on this. I don't want you to risk your career but Meredith-" he licks his lips as he pauses to gather his thoughts, "You started this because our daughter was having nightmares about you dying with Alzheimer's and you watched your mother die with this disease. It robbed you of any chance of reconciling with her or at least getting to know her the way you've tried over these last years."

"You have a personal stake in this," He continues as he watches her eyes drift away, "You have to publish this."

"I could jeopardize my relationship with the foundation. They could take away my funding-"

"There's a neurosurgeon with a ton of cash flow out in Minnesota and neurobiologists on hand-"

"David Hamilton wants to focus on Parkinson's not Alzheimer's," Meredith interrupts, frustration evident in her voice, "besides we're not moving the kids again, they got settled here and they are happy! With gymnastics and hockey and robotics clubs. Zola's anxiety has lessened. Bailey and Ellie are happy. We moved here for our kids, I'm not moving them again! Not after the hell we went through to bring them here and the hell we went through to have what we have!"

"I never said we should move," Derek calmly replies, his voice steady and reassuring., "And the kids are happy. They're getting older and they need a little less of us and we've got a very good routine here. We're doing exactly what we set out to do when we decided to move."

He nods, "Look, Avery offered you this job knowing that this research already existed and he literally gave you the research in your hand so you could further it."

He can't help the slight chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. The foundation had a habit of giving with one hand and taking with the other. However, they'd be fools to take the research away from her. They'd be fools to not consider the possibility that she was onto something.

"You cannot quit now," he sighs, "cracked it open. You have to keep opening it Mer. You cannot quit now."

"This might discredit a majority of the research you and I-" she pauses, "This will discredit your research, Derek."

"So?" he shrugs with an incredulous look on his face, "That's what research is for. It's to find the truth and to save lives, not to inflate our egos."

She reaches for her glass but doesn't pick it up. Instead her eyes turn to the pit as her mind wanders.

"I know my ego and I have a reputation, but contrary to popular belief," he smirks, "It's not why I started the Alzheimer's research."

"I know," she whispers as she turns back to him, "I know exactly why you started the research."

His smirk turns into a kind grin. Derek Shepherd would give up his life if it meant shielding Meredith from such brutal suffering. If anyone had any doubts about that, they didn't know Derek Shepherd at all.

"Besides I didn't get far enough, someone messed with it," he winks at her before reaching for his beer and takes a swig. A thought crosses his mind, "You know, maybe you unknowingly messed with it for a reason. Maybe you were always supposed to find this."

She reaches for her glass and takes a sip, "You think so?"

He shrugs. The world works in mysterious ways and so far everything he had planned out for his life has happened in a way he didn't expect. Who is he to say destiny is real or not?

She raised his brow at him, "I could be wrong. I could lose everything-."

"Or you could save lives," he offers as he leans towards her, "You could save my wife and the mother of my kids. You could save your life."

"I'm scared," she confesses.

"That's good," he smiles, "Fear means you've got something to lose, right?"

She's said that before, she's sure of it.

She studies him for a moment. He's confident. He believes in her. He has an unwavering faith in her that terrifies her. She reaches for him and he ever so gently welcomes her as they both cascade into the wicker seat. He rubs his hands up her back gently.

"What if I don't get Alzheimer's?"

He blinks. That's never been a question she's asked. It's always been a what if she does and he has never faltered.

"What if we do get a miracle or whatever and I- I just don't?"

"Well," Derek sighs, his voice gentle yet resolute, "we get to do anything we want. The kids will go off to college or travel-"

She lifts her head up and turns to him confidently, "I have plans."

"You have plans?" he teased lightly.

"Yes," she affirms with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Am I included in these plans? Because if I'm not, where do I apply?" he counters playfully.

She giggles, leaning in closer. "You are very much a part of those plans."

"Can I know what those plans are? Actually, you know what? I don't care. I'm just glad I'm a part of them," he murmurs, his lips finding hers in a tender kiss before trailing along her jawline and down her neck.

Meredith can't suppress another laugh, threading her fingers through his hair. "You sure? You don't want to know about Italy and their very empty beaches?"

He pulls back slightly, his gaze locking with hers. "Italy? Your plan is Italy?"

"I'm open to Montana," she shrugs nonchalantly.

"Montana and Italy are two very different places," he points out with a small smile.

"My point is, there's a plan," she insists, her voice tinged with determination, "You. Me. Lot's of wine. Empty beaches or empty- I don't know what's in Montana but I do know, it'll be you and me. Just you and me."

"Sometimes plans don't turn out the way we hope they will."

"This one will," she challenges him, her eyes holding a promise of certainty and hope.

"Okay," he whispers. He believes her. In the history of Meredith and Derek, he's always been the optimist. He's the one with plans and the one who lives life as it goes. She walks with caution.

But today, Meredith Grey believes. She hopes.

"Okay," she echoes as her green eyes meet his blue eyes. She's lost in his gaze for a moment.

She's lost in the deep blue ocean that once promised her she was like coming up for fresh air.

In the eyes that told her he was in love with her. In love with her since forever.

In the eyes that promised her he couldn't live without her and he would do everything in his power to prove it to her.

And just like he wrote on the post-it that still rests above their bed, they're way on their way to forever.

Meredith grips his neck and presses her lips upon his. He deepens the kiss as his hands slide up her back. She moans into him as she shifts to reach his belt.

"Here?" he asks breathlessly before resuming a pathway down her collarbone, "The kids-"

"Are upstairs asleep," she mutters before pressing her lips against his again. She pulls him over her until she's pinned against him and the couch, "Live a little, will you?"


A/N: Hi! Hope you're doing well!

I've had this in my drafts since forever (alongside other stuff...). I didn't want to publish it at first because I love the ending I wrote for Bigger than the Whole Sky but I also had a lot of comments as to how Derek would've reacted to the research (listen, this is a TV show. I did research but I didn't and don't study medicine. What I did understand is that yes, Mer's research and findings are true BUT a lot of the research also points to the amyloid plaque theory - which is the one that is allegedly tampered. As of today, the FDA has approved a new medicine that targets that.) SO don't take all of what I wrote at 100% accurate data. This is purely for entertainment and to keep our MerDer alive.

I love writing the kids, especially in my AU. They are adorable. I love writing Derek getting mocked by his kids. I love writing Meredith being amused by it and her having a healthy balance that's also believable. I love writing in this AU in general so an epilogue was a must.

I'll be back with another one-shot soon! I'm really excited about it too!

Thanks for reading!