Prologue- The Fool
'You came to the first window, it says: wandering. You look up, a traveler is walking, where is he going? You asked him if he was going to the sun, he told you that he is going to the republic. You don't understand, you ask him how he lives without a guide. He laughs at you as you worried too much as his old dog. He says, there will always be a way. It's not in front of you, it's under your feet. You think travel is too blind, he thinks you are too timid; source, ideal, goal'-Broken Mirror Tarot
Fen'Harel ar ghilana-
*
It had been years since she had seen him last, but this morning when her dreams gave way to the waking world she could feel his presence, his eyes, and she swore she could smell him still.
Every time she tried to remember her dreams now it was as though someone was smearing them and making it more difficult to maintain any vision or memory of the events. But she would awaken still feeling tired, sometimes sore, as though she had been fighting again. And she would always wake up feeling sticky with the Fade. Clinging to her like a shadow. It had been maddening trying to figure out what was blocking her. Even more so as to why, and what exactly had been going on. But she had a few guesses.
She had started to assume the 'Well of Sorrows' had something to do with it but she couldn't prove it. They would still whisper to her, but never enough for her to actually understand. She wrote down any sensations in her dream grimoire anyways and went to make some tea.
She slid on her magic prosthetic hand. It slid right onto her as though she had never lost it, magic included once she got used to it. But she had to admit she missed the anchor. She had wanted to use it to explore parts of the Fade physically herself, but never got the opportunity. So she had resigned herself to study other ways, with little luck.
She had poured over every scroll and tome she could get her hands on. But nothing on the anchor or elvhen orbs, the veil, or the Fade, even the Eluvians and the Crossroads, had brought her any closer to a reliable key and the protection to use it. But she wasn't giving up.
She sat down next to the window with her tea and contemplated. Her tea made her giggle slightly as she sipped, remembering how scrunched his face was the only time she had seen him drink it. How many people around Skyhold found it quirky and it became an inside joke. She knew if he would just try her sweet dreams, or earl grey blends, instead of that weak water they called tea it might actually grow on him. But now she might not get that chance...
No, she refused to believe it was over. She just needed to find him, but how? Gods she was starting to sound like a loon, a stalker, or some deranged, desperate scorned lover. But this was more than that, and she knew it.
She watched the rain in the window in silence for awhile, admiring the odd shapes that collected in the drops and how they serenaded her with their rhythm. Then she returned her cup to the kitchen and retired to the bedroom, where she kept her most important books and her altar.
She had been trying now for years to actually reach Solas in the Fade, but every time she got close the dream would end. Or he was always just out of reach. But she had a plan. She was going to use some of his own tricks against him... That sounded bad when she put it like that, but she knew it was the best way, if not the only way, to actually get to him. He would be too proud to suspect it.
She had learned of a potion that could influence people, warm them up to speaking the truth. No matter what that might be, consequences be damned. She would employ this influence to her aura and slightly disguise herself in the fade. Then she would find him like she always does, and see if she can't convince him to dream with her at least.
It was all she could hope for at this point. She had been waiting to hear back from Varric, who was on a mission to find him, and heard nothing back. After scouring the Fade for clues as to where he was and what he was doing? Well, she still wasn't waking up in his arms and that felt... wrong.
And she couldn't explain why but it was like something outside of her or maybe inside of her was trying to draw them together again. After trying to move on and seek closure for herself, for what felt like forever, with scarcely any progress. But she had one final plan, and she knew she had to do it before the solar eclipse.
