Chapter 6 – Who Saw That Coming? Asking for a Friend…

The Prius was fucked, still running but sporting a thoroughly cracked windshield and a caved-in grill and a coating of gore somewhere in the torture-porn-abattoir range. That was to be expected, of course, when one has spent a good half-hour committing vehicular homicide.

Well, not homicide, Stevie supposed.

Vehicular corpse desecration?

Running over walkers.

That.

Fun.

Not the smartest or most elegant plan but ten out of ten would recommend.

Still, despite the fact that her car was fucked and her back seat was filled with the remnants of an overrun refugee camp, when Stevie spotted Glenn, Daryl, T-Dog, and Rick jogging down the highway—like the morons somehow didn't notice the thousands of abandoned vehicles they could be hijacking instead of sweating their stupid, useless balls off in the Georgia heat—she pulled up behind them and, when they didn't notice her right away, tapped the horn.

They all jumped several feet into the air.

Glenn honest to goodness flailed.

The others spun with their weapons raised, but Stevie just grinned and gave a cheeky little finger-wave through the cracked, gore-splattered windshield.

As soon as the men recognized her, the weapons dropped, and she didn't think she was imagining the relief on all four filthy faces.

In the next moment, Daryl saw his brother (who had yet to wake but had progressed to snoring like a chainsaw, which she was taking as a good sign) in the front passenger seat. The younger Dixon's expression went through a fascinating progression from relief to even more relief to rage to confusion to annoyance to resigned acceptance to renewed rage to baseline surliness.

But before Daryl could explode, Rick Grimes (ridiculous costume once again complete with the return of his iconic hat) ambled up to the driver's side window and did the typical cop motion to order her to roll it down. As she did so, the rest of the joggers joined him.

"Four grown-ass men," Stevie declared, just to get the first word in, "And not one of you knows how to hotwire a car?" She looked specifically at Daryl and raised a slim strawberry blond eyebrow, accusing, "No, seriously, Merle's your brother, and you don't know how to hotwire a car? I'm calling bullshit."

"Your poor mother is distraught," Rick admonished. "Leaving was completely irresponsible-" His blue eyes widened as they finally got a look at the back seat. "What-"

His choked outcry caught the attention of the rest of the running-in-the-heat-because-reasons brigade, who all took their own looks and then promptly initiated their own shocked reactions.

"Mama knows I can take care of myself," scoffed Stevie. "Been doing it my whole life. Fetching Merle was a breeze. I would've been right back, but unforeseen circumstances-" she gestured toward her exhausted back-seat passengers "-kept me out longer than planned." She'd already decided that she wasn't going to admit to getting lost if she could avoid it, and the three small kids curled around Bruno were the perfect cover.

Stunned silence ensued, during which Stevie eyed the sun, which was on its downward arc but still well above the shimmering horizon. "Sooo…" she drawled, "Y'all gonna steal yourselves a ride? I'd offer to take you just to add picking up hitchhikers to the eventual retelling of this delightful tale, but I don't really have the room. Unless you're doing some kind of apocalypse 5K. Which would be weird, but I guess cardio is important."

Weakly, Glenn suggested, "We could, uh, pro'ly all squeeze in-"

"It's a hybrid, not a clown car," Stevie snarked. "And I'm certainly not sitting on anyone's lap. That shit is creepy even when there's a mall Santa involved." She flapped a hand at him like a haughty queen dismissing an unruly peasant and added, "Pick something and be quick about it. I got a screwdriver, a jumper pack, and a siphoning kit, if you need 'em. Oh, and Dale's tools, of course."

Despite a gruff glower (though she guessed he was madder at himself and his companions for not thinking of grand theft auto than at her for her rude demands to commit it posthaste), Daryl got right to work, zeroing in on an old four-door pickup that actually seemed to have some tarp-covered supplies nestled safely in the bed.

Mystery loot. Good choice.

In the meantime, Glenn and T-Dog continued to appear awkward and confused, and Rick decided that the lecture was not over. "What you did was incredibly reckless," he declared, briefly taking off his hat to run a hand through his drenched hair. "I know you're a really smart and capable kid, Stevie, but running off by yourself and not even telling anyone where you were going… You can't do that, ok? The world is different now. We have to work together and look out for each other."

"Like you looked out for Merle?" Stevie challenged, deadpan in her obvious mockery.

The man didn't have a response to that, and everyone stood for another few moments in awkward silence before T-Dog defended, "It was my fault. I had the key. I-"

"Dropped it, yeah, I heard," Stevie interrupted. "But you never should've had the key in the first place. And you," she turned her attention back to Rick, "You need to either take off that costume or actually act like you're still a cop. I know damn well that cops aren't supposed to cuff people to things or pass their cuff keys to civilians. You put Merle in custody. That meant you were responsible for his safety and well-being. Hell, knocking his dumb ass out and princess-carrying him through the crowd of walkers would've been better than leaving him like you did."

There was a snort from Daryl, and Stevie maybe detected a hint of a smirk on his face before it disappeared once more inside the truck, which quickly roared to life.

"Well," the teen drawled, "Good talk, guys. See you at camp." And with that, she was on her way again, barely slowing to ensure that the bozos were loaded up and following.

xxXxx

The three kids were named Gavin, Hazel, and Andre (ages 7, 5, and 3, respectively). The elder two were cousins and had thrown themselves in front of Stevie's car in their desperation to get her to stop and pick them up, which she of course did without hesitation (and would've gladly done without the heart attack of almost hitting them). She'd had to fetch Andre out of a locked back room of one of the FEMA trailers, the door of which had been seconds from being battered down by the handful of walkers that had already made a meal of the men in the front room. (The drug paraphernalia throughout said room had painted a rather bleak picture.) Andre's crying had been a double-edged sword: if he hadn't been crying, Stevie never would've known he was there, but if he'd just kept quiet, the geeks might've never known either.

After determining that no other survivors remained for her to help (as far as she could tell, most of the campers were dead before the first scream, and the ones who did said screaming were probably dead shortly after, because screaming around geeks was just plain stupid), Stevie drove the kids out of the wrecked camp and found a quiet place to park to calm them down. She got them some water and snacks and checked them for injuries, and when the poor tiny things stopped bawling enough to speak coherently, they took it in turns to inform her that they had no idea how the monsters had gotten inside the fences (which hadn't been breached, as far as she could tell when she breached them herself) and that although Gavin and Hazel were certain their parents were all dead (had in fact seen them slaughtered, unfortunately), the kids weren't sure about Andre's mom, who'd been out on a supply run for the past two days, venturing farther than usual in search of some specific medicine for a very sick refugee. Gavin described Andre's mom as an "awesome lady with a cool sword" and said he thought she was due back that day or maybe the next.

Stevie wasn't one to kidnap a kid (without cause), and she certainly didn't want to kidnap the kid of an "awesome lady with a cool sword." But hanging around indefinitely or leaving Andre behind in the hope that said lady would eventually show up and do so before he could starve or get eaten were both out of the question. So, the teen briefly detoured back to dart inside and leave a note and map prominently displayed in what was clearly Andre's little toddler cot in the back room of the trailer. The gist of the note was that the boy had been rescued and was being transported to a safer location; the map had said location marked. Providing a map to the quarry was risky, but it was the only way Stevie could think of to reunite the sword-wielding woman with her adorable son. Besides, what were the chances that a bad guy would happen upon a wrecked camp and investigate a random child's bed rather than the high-value targets? Stevie certainly would've looted the hell out of the medical, food, and armory areas if she hadn't been essentially alone and under a time crunch and lacking much space for additional supplies. If Andre's mom didn't show up within a few days, Stevie would return with Glenn and a truck big enough to make off with any remaining spoils.

It had been midmorning before she started heading back to her own family in earnest, being forced to take a long and winding route to avoid pileups and herds but happily jotting down addresses of places that looked promising for future runs along the way. She was especially excited about a high-end RV dealership and probably would've stopped to upgrade her ride if she hadn't had passengers, all of whom needed guarding and one of whom she didn't think she could physically move from one vehicle to another.

Her return to the quarry was less than triumphant, and the looks from the other campers telegraphed their displeasure with the presence of not only Merle but also an additional three small children. Thoughts were clearly in the vein of, Ugh, the racist hick is back. Great, more mouths to feed. Babies scream a lot. Blah blah blah.

Whatever. The first person to talk shit to Stevie or any of her new charges was getting poison ivy in their underwear. (There were some benefits to being occasionally stuck with laundry duty.)

She did have to admit that Dale's and Jim's identical appalled reactions to the fucked Prius were pretty damn funny, as were said men's vastly dissimilar reactions to her sweetly delivered explanation of how said fucking had occurred: "Ever play GTA? It was kinda like that, but with walkers instead of hookers."

Dale turned green and stared at her like she was a demon. (He seemed to think that advanced age gave him license to be everyone's conscience but, on such occasions, tended to come off as a judgmental old prick rather than a wise elder.)

Jim just grinned viciously. (It was the first time she'd seen any hint of enjoyment on his weary face.)

The reactions to her explanation of the walker onesies hanging from the two side mirrors were even funnier.

Mama was mad, unsurprisingly. Stevie could tell because the woman didn't rush over to commence with hugs and reprimands, just glanced over briefly to scan for obvious injuries and then pursed her lips and got back to helping fry fish.

Because god forbid she didn't spend all her waking hours waiting hand and foot on ungrateful, inept assholes who'd knife her for a Klondike Bar.

Stevie's sister was a different story, and, damn, Stevie had taught the little monster well.

"You left me," the girl sniffled, blue eyes full of tears and expression full of betrayal. "You didn't even say goodbye."

For the first time since setting out on her inarguably stupid and reckless but ultimately fortuitous adventure, Stevie felt that she'd done something wrong. "Aw, Soph," the teen muttered, "I… It was a time is of the essence thing." The pleading elicited only another heartbroken sniffle, and Stevie immediately caved. "I'm sorry."

"You're in big trouble," Sophia reported, still teary-eyed but starting to frown. "Grounded."

"Can't ground the homeless," Stevie tried to joke.

Settling into a full-on scowl, Sophia hissed, "Challenge accepted."

Yeah, Stevie had definitely taught the little monster far too well.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sooo, did anyone guess the big reveal? One review from Ronnie.H got it right (shout out to you), but no one else seemed to even pick up the fact that the mom and sister weren't actually named. I could be wrong, but I'm interested regardless: Did you guess? Suspect? Mentally make the leap without even noticing?

Also, Happy 4th. America is kind of shit right now, but at least we have fireworks…