A very big thank you to all of you. i'm having tons of fun writing these silly pieces and I'm glad you're enjoying it too. Sorry for the delay but it was holidays time ahah
An enormous thanks to the ShadowsEdge for helping me correcting my many mistakes and trying to improve my English!
This one is a bit of a cracky fic.
Special Agent Shae
Sharon was at a loss on how to deal with that man. It was a rare thing for her, as she had worked her entire life in a testosterone filled environment. Working in IA, then being head of FID gave her a unique privilege : being in a minority position and being hated despite it. She wouldn't say Shae hated her, on the contrary. She was growing more and more wary of his continuous unsolicited glances. She knew he was looking at her, at her legs, her chest and her behind. She had chosen that dress for that reason. The décolleté was non-existent and she would be able to bend down over a desk and not have his nose perk up.
That didn't deter him, not really. Of course, he stopped looking at her chest but that did not prevent him from ogling her legs all day long. Even Andy was more discreet than him, and that was saying a lot ! She had sent him her Darth glance a few times, told him quite bluntly in front of Provenza to stop doing it (not in front of Andy or Julio, she was not crazy, she wanted witnesses, not to witness a fist fight herself) to no avail. At that point, she had reached out to Taylor and was glad he had not laughed at her nose but managed to involve himself more than usual. The poor man's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the FBI agent glaring at her backside hundreds of times that day. God, she could not wait to tell him about Andy and her, just to see his deer caught in the headlight's face.
She wondered how many times and in how many different ways Shae could ask her out. So far she had counted 7, for an average of 2,4 per day. That was a lot! Way too much if you asked her. She was well past the flattered phase and had entered a very irritated one. She had tried to dismiss him gently at first but the man was not getting the hint! How many more times would she need to tell him she was married ? Okay, she was not but she was in a steady relationship and she felt way too old to be called someone's girlfriend. She had even snuggled up against Andy, holding his arm to try to repel him but no… He was persistent, she would give him that. She had seen Mike nearly fall on his behind laughing when the weird man had jumped up to take the passenger front seat near her. Everyone knew it was Andy's place and no one questioned it, not even Provenza. She had not dared look into the rearview mirror at that moment nor during the moment he reached his hand toward her thigh either. She had to swat his hand away and was still amazed that Andy did not say a thing. He must have been looking at something else, or sleeping.
The first time, she counted it as an honest mistake. He was interested and he let her know. Doing it in the murder room, in front of Amy, Julio and Buzz was weird and absolutely not professional though. She wondered now if he had done it that way to put her in a position where she would feel obligated to say yes. Oh well, he did not know her.
The second time was more subtle, she'll give him that. He wondered where he could eat, while they all had for once brought their lunch and asked her to accompany him. Provenza, who wasn't too eager to eat his tuna salad, volunteered to go with him if the FBI, or Shae himself, footed his bill.
The thirst time was the weirdest: he had come to the office the next morning with two coffees, one for him, one for her. She had refused it, and had to insist on refusing. She had first gently claimed that she only took a coffee per day and had already had her dose. It was true and she had done so in very good company. She might have saved him some trouble and told him right away that she had her cappuccino in bed, with Andy, wearing absolutely nothing. She had ended up giving his offered java to the older Lieutenant who claimed it was cinnamony, too sugary and too creamy. And if that man complained it was too heavy and sweet, it was a given that she would never have drunk it.
The fourth and fifth time were hilarious, in a way. After spending the morning in Badge of justice studio, Andy was due for a little treat. Provenza had texted her a little while earlier that the rest of the squad had eaten at the deli down the street. She proposed they stop at the Pizzeria Dei Compari to have lunch. She knew Mike loved to go there too. They took their places in a small booth, she waited for everyone to be seated, not wanting to end up near anyone else than Andy. It was working out perfectly well. Her lieutenant took a seat on the bench and spread out, preventing the two other men from sitting near him. Shae took a seat on the other small bench and Mike took one of the chairs. She hesitated a second to take the other single chair next to Mike, it would be the most professional thing to do but she wanted to send a message. Being close to Andy and soaking up into his scent and warmth would be a very nice addition. So she sat next to him. In her calculations, she did not plan it would leave her trapped between her two suitors. For once, her lover was as cool as a cucumber, reading his menu quietly while gently caressing her thigh underneath the table. For a second, she even wondered if he had noticed Shae's insistence. The other man, though, did not know how to play it cool nor when to let it go. As soon as she was settled, he reached for her hand on the table and caressed it. Appalled, she found Mike's eyes and could see that her Tech Lieutenant was as choked as her but also very amused. Shae was not deterred one bit when she jerked her hand out from underneath his, on the contrary. "So Captain, how's your husband? Because either he's blind or stupid as fuck?!" Said the FBI agent, laughing to his own joke. "I mean a beautiful woman like you, in a restaurant, with three stallions like us…" She felt the hand on her thigh tighten nearly to the point of pain and heard her boyfriend choking on his water. After that, strangely, Andy was more touchy than usual, being even slightly possessive. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, diverted the conversation to light subjects until the waiter came. He started small talk with his regular clients, inquiring about Tao's shows and Rusty. After a while, he grabbed his notepad and started saying: "So Lieutenant Mike what will you have today? Andy, veggie lasagna and olive focaccia salad, like usual? You'll share it with the Captain?"
"Of course not!" Said vehemently the FBI agent. "She'll have her own meal." He turned toward her, petting her hand. "I can pay for it, don't worry sweetheart." He returned his attention to the waiter and smiled deviously. "She'll have the lobster ravioli with extra truffle." The waiter looked at them flabbergasted. He was used to their polite and kind manners. He met Andy's eyes and saw both anger and amusement in the gray hair man's gaze. "Aren't you allergic to seafood, Captain?" He did not wait for her to confirm. "I'll bring you your usual. May I suggest, sir, that you move away from our beautiful Captain so there's no risk of food contamination? The table right next is available, you can settle in." As the waiter left, everyone tried very much not to laugh. Well except Shae who wondered out loud why the LAPD would come to eat in such a rude place.
The sixth time, by far, was the creepiest. Sharon had stayed working after the division left, preparing for the next morning debrief with Taylor and Howard. Without her noticing it, the sun had set. Once she saw how late it was, she texted Rusty then Andy while riding the elevator. One had already eaten but had kept her some in the fridge, the other was beaten after his workout and AA meeting, so they would call once she's home. She was glad they communicated only via message because that way she was at least able to hide her disappointment at not spending time with any of her men. Her morale was a bit down, keeping her focused on her thoughts and not her surroundings. It wasn't often that she walked through the parking garage, at night, without being on alert. She did not notice the black SUV parked a few spots away from hers. She should have since her level, at that late hour, was nearly empty. Instead, she was trying to decide if she paid Andy a surprise visit or if she drove home to bed. She did not get to decide that someone called her: " Captain! Sharon! Oh I'm so glad to see you!" Here was Shae, near a big SUV. She had not pegged him as dangerous but she was now revisiting her choice. She was glad to have opted to have her gun clipped into her belt instead of putting it into her handbag like she normally did. "What can I do for you?" She asked, forcing her voice to remain calm and cool. Oh the audacity of the man ! He claimed to have his car broken, asked her for a ride and added the next minute that they could stop at his hotel, for a drink and maybe more… "Why didn't you call AAA?" She asked, her voice finally rising slightly in aggravation. "Well they refused to come into the parking garage. Did you know it was one of their clauses? Could you bring me home, now please? Or if you prefer, we can go to yours…" he responded, not in the least embarrassed to be caught in a lie. He made a move towards her, meaning to grab her hand or her waist, maybe even kiss her. "Go see if the desk sergeant is willing to help you. I'm going home and I've done enough goodwill last week..." She added with a fake smile before getting into her car, locking the doors and leaving.
The seventh, and last time, really was over the top. After the fiasco of his conference, and the erroneous arrest of the parents, the FBI asked for a debrief. So here was Sharon Raydor, waiting for the conference room to be filled with all the brass. She was beyond that pretentious stupid man and just wanted to close the case once and for all. The fact that just Shae, Mike and Howard were there yet only spiked her annoyance. She would have two words in private with her second in command after that meeting… She sat next to Howard but kept to herself and texted Provenza to come STAT. When she raised her nose from her phone, Shae was sitting on her other side, ogling her. She did not know what to make out of his weird attraction to her but fortunately he started speaking before she had a chance to be rude. "How did you break your fingernails, Captain?" He asked with a smirk. She laid both hands on the conference table and noticed her right middle and ring fingers had the nails broken pretty badly. The left index too. As she inspected her hands both taking in the fact that her nails were in really bad shape and what explanation to give, Shae started talking again. "Yesterday your nails were perfect. You're always perfect. Did I say how beautifully divine you are? Now that we're not working together anymore, we could find some time for me to tell you a bit more about Guy Lafontaine.." He said, puffing his chest. Sharon looked around her and weighed her options. Howard and Mike… It was ok, she trusted them. Plus both had been afraid of her for years. She moved toward the FBI agent, smiling enticingly. Memories of the night before flooded her mind. Her hands gripping the sheets, trying to avoid scratching Andy's head once more, while his tongue worked wonders between her legs. "Either I love to garden and had to switch my orchid pots or.. I had the most intense and incredible orgasm of my whole life. I gripped the sheets so hard, so very hard that a few nails broke in the process. You pick." She saw his smile died as the room filed in. God, it felt good to finally shut him up !
