There's an old song called Diamonds are a girl's best friend. The song is about how the protagonist believes that diamonds are more valuable than love or affection from a man. She thinks that even if a man kisses her hand or gives her affection, diamonds are still better. She mentions that diamonds don't lose their value like people do when they get older. It's not that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but it's your best friends who are your diamonds. It's your best friends who are supremely resilient, made under pressure, and of astonishing value.
Without friendship, there would be chaos and darkness. Real friends are the ones you can count on, no matter what. The ones who are there when you feel like a failure, when you get so overwhelmed with life and just need a minute to breathe, or when you need to fly across the country and see your hometown, your mom, your friends, the girls that have always supported you, who have always had your back. Who kept in touch even when you decided to move away and start a new journey without them? A journey that eventually led you back to your hometown of Chicago. Back to your two best friends, girlfriends that she's missed over the last few years.
It's been ten years since she was in Chicago. It has been eight years since she made a decision that, to this day, was her biggest mistake; three years since she saw her real friends; and a two months since she saw her mom.
The airport was bustling with people as Stella made her way towards the luggage carousel. She was tired; she hadn't slept on the plane as she was dreading the third degree she was going to get once she returned to Chicago. She had been traveling for almost a day. It hadn't exactly been a comfortable journey, especially considering she had a three-month-old baby to take care of. A very cranky baby at that.
She walked over to the seating area and sat the car seat down. She then unloaded herself from the three big bags she had wrapped around her. She pulled out her cell phone and noticed a text from her mom. "Seriously mom." She groans to herself in frustration. "What the hell am I going to do now?" She questioned herself as she sat down in the cold, uncomfortable airport chair.
She scrolls through her contacts as she thinks about who she can call at nine p.m. for a place to crash. She has no money for a hotel or even a cab. She couldn't stay in the airport; she would be on constant watch, scared for herself and her baby's safety. She stopped scrolling at Kelly's name; she smiled as she thought about him. It's been eight years since they last talked; she doesn't even know if this is his number anymore. She wanted to call him; she really missed him. But she knew he wasn't an option; she broke his heart eight years ago, and they haven't talked since that dreadful day.
Besides, he probably moved on and found someone who could give him what she couldn't. Her biggest regret was losing Kelly; he was her person, her other half, and her soulmate. But she broke him and lost him all together. She gets teary-eyed as she thinks about him; she refers to him as the one who got away. She sighs as she begins scrolling again.
Her eyes light up at the next name; she remembers when she told her she would always be here for her. They used to talk and text a lot, but for the last two years, she's been ghosting her, not because she wanted to but because she had to. The last two years have been a battle for Stella; she's been through hell in more ways than one. Her tears fell as she thought about everything that had happened since she left her hometown, and all her real friends—her so-called LA friends—didn't know the definition of friendship or what it meant to be a friend. Her hometown friends, the group she grew up with, were the best. They were her diamonds. "Let's hope this is still her number." She whispered to her sleeping baby. Her throat tightened as the phone rang.
"Hello." The voice was hesitant and full of uncertainty.
She took a deep breath. "Shay, is this Shay?" She wasn't sure, the voice sounded different.
"Yes, who's this?"
"Stella, Stella Kidd. Do you remember me?" She wasn't certain if any of her friends remembered her anymore.
"Of course I remember you; you are an unforgettable woman. I can't believe you called; I didn't recognize the number."
"Yeah, my mom sent me a new phone since I lost mine. Your number I always had memorized." She wanted to tell her that she had Kelly's memorized too. But she couldn't that would lead to a conversation about Kelly and she wasn't ready for that, not yet.
"Are you okay? How are you?"
"Yeah, I'm good." She replied in a nonchalant tone. Afraid of letting her know how scared and worried she was.
"Wow! I haven't heard from you in two years; I thought you forgot about me and us."
"I could never forget about you, Shay; you and Gabby were all I had left when I ended things with..." She sighed, trying not to get emotional.
"I know, but then you ghosted me and Gabby. We've been so worried your mom comes by the firehouse and lets us know you're okay, so that's been a huge relief."
Stella was surprised by that. "She didn't say anything else about me."
"Umm.. no, just that you were doing great living your best life, and you feel bad for not keeping in touch with all of us, and how much you missed our group. The whole group misses you."
She was in disbelief that her mom didn't tell them what she was going through or how she messed up her life. She owes her mom big time. "I doubt the whole group misses me." She bites her lip as her mind goes back to Kelly, the boy who got away, while technically she pushed him away. "Anyways, I was calling because I..." She literally couldn't find the words.
Shay, being the intuitive empath she is, can sense there is something going on.
"Stella, whatever it is, you can tell me; you know I got you."
"Um...
"Stella, are you okay?" She asked again, feeling something was wrong.
Stella looks at her son, who is still sleeping. "No!" She whispered. "I thought it was time to come home."
Shay's eyes widened. "You're coming home? Like back to Chicago home?" She questioned in an unsure tone laced with excitement.
"Yes."
"Oh my God!" She yelled through the phone, making Stella smile. "When? For how long?"
"Umm, well, I'm here already, and I'm not sure about anything else right now. I'm just taking it day by day." She told her honestly because she wasn't sure what her next step was. She was hoping to talk it out with her mom, but that's not happening now.
"Seriously! Where are you?"
"At the Chicago airport, it's actually why I called you." She took a deep breath. "This was a spontaneous trip; I just kind of hoped on a plane with the intention of surprising my mom, but...
"Stella, your mom went on a cruise with her new boyfriend, Dave."
"Yes, I just learned that information when I got here. I guess I should have called in advance."
"Do you need a place to stay?"
"Yeah, we just need a place for tonight. I'll figure something out tomorrow." She tells her, even though she has no idea what she's going to do.
"We? You brought someone with you?" She asked as she thought about Kelly, who wasn't going to like the idea of her staying with them, especially if she brought her boyfriend with her. She hasn't spoken to her in two years, so chances are she could be married. Damn, Kelly is going to be pissed.
"Yeah, someone I really want you to meet—someone who has changed my life completely. He's my everything." She smiled at her son.
Shay wasn't expecting that. "I can't wait to meet him."
"You're going to fall in love with him, just like I did."
Shay closed her eyes. "Probably so. Do you need me to come and get you?"
"Yes, if you don't mind."
"I'm on my way." Shay replied and hung up. She grabbed her car keys and silently prayed that Kelly wouldn't kill her.
Stella hung up her phone and put it back in her bag. "Well, baby boy, we're home. I just hope Aunt Shay and Aunt Gabby won't be too mad at me. For keeping you a secret and for everything your mom has done." She caresses his head. "I've made tons of bad choices in my life, especially the last two years, but you, baby boy, are not one of them. You are the reason I changed my life, and I owe you everything, and I'm going to make sure you get everything. Starting with a stable home and people who will have your back. And love you just as much as mommy loves you." She took a deep breath as her mind wandered off to how her supposed friends would react once they knew where she'd been.
As Shay was half way to the airport, she decided to call Gabby and let her know what was going on.
"Hey girl! what's up?"
"You won't believe the phone call I just got."
"From who?"
"Stella."
"Stella! Stella Kidd!" Gabby was totally blindsided by that name. Behind her, Casey and Kelly both looked at the back of her head with wide eyes.
"Yep, she is waiting for me to pick her up at the airport."
"Wow! Stella Kidd is back in town. I can't believe it; I didn't think she would ever come home." She closed her eyes as she remembered Kelly was at her apartment helping Matt. She turned around and faced a shocked Kelly, who was staring intensely at her, his face full of questions.
"Apparently she bought someone with her."
"She brought someone with her." She repeated this as she watched the color drain from Kelly's face.
"Yep, it's a guy, she said she couldn't wait for me to meet him. I have no idea how to tell Kelly."
"He knows." Gabby tells her in a regrettable tone. "He overheard our conversation."
"Damn!" Shay sighed. "Is he pissed?" She asked already, knowing the answer. Stella Kidd was a sore subject for Kelly, but who can blame him? She shattered his heart like a rock hitting glass.
Gabby watches as Kelly walks out of their slide door onto their balcony. "I got him." Matt tells his wife as he walks out behind their friend.
"He seems more hurt than pissed." Gabby tells her as she wonders about them seeing each other for the first time in eight years.
"He's going to be really pissed when he finds out they are staying with us."
"Shay!"
"Gabby, I can't turn my back on her; she's my friend. Kelly is going to have to set his ego aside and pretend he's over her. I'm not abandoning her; she sounds really strange; something is definitely off with her. She needs us. Remember, we're her diamonds; we can't turn our backs on her, and we promise to always be here for her. Regardless of what happened between her and Kelly, I'm not picking sides; she's our friend too."
"I know, and I missed her so much." She walks over to the window and sees Matt patting Kelly's back. "I just hate seeing Severide hurt; it's been eight years, and he still hasn't fully moved on."
"I know, me too." She rubbed the side of her head. "I'm at the airport; I will talk to you later."
"Okay, tell her I'll come see her."
"I will."
Gabby hung up and walked over to the sliding door. "Kelly, I..
"You honestly didn't know she was coming?" He asked, interrupting her apologies.
"I didn't; I swear, I'm as surprised as you are."
"She has a boyfriend?"
The way his voice cracked broke Gabby's heart. "Apparently, I'm not sure; all I know is that she brought someone with her."
He nods. "Guess you guys were right; I should have moved on years ago instead of holding on to the idea of her coming back to me someday." He shakes his head. "I can't believe she's here. Why is she here?"
"I don't know, honestly."
"How long is she staying?"
"I don't know that either."
"Where is she staying?"
Gabby's eyes widened. "Umm... Well.." she closed her eyes. "Your place." She whispered.
"Like hell she is!" Kelly yelled. "What the hell is Shay thinking?"
"Look, I know you're upset, and it's completely understandable, but Kelly, she's our friend, and she's...
"Friend, she's our friend." He yelled, interrupting her. "You can't be serious." He looks at Matt. "Your wife can't be serious, can she?"
"Severide, you can't expect us to ignore her just because you guys...
"Casey, this is not about Stella and me, so what she broke my heart eight years ago, I'm over it. I'm not the first guy to have his heart broken by someone he was going to spend the rest of his life with. This is about her betrayal of the whole group.
"She didn't betray us."
"Really? Because last time I checked, real friends showed up when friends needed them. Where the hell has she been? Especially the last two years, it's like she just disappeared and vanished without a trace. You and Shay were going insane because she quit answering your calls, she quit answering your texts, and she just stopped all communication with all of us. You guys even called the LA police department because you guys were afraid something happened to her. Remember that?"
"I do," Gabby replied. "And we flew out to her last known apartment, but she wasn't...
"There, she moved without telling anyone." Kelly finished her sentence. "Does that sound like a good friend to you? Just stop communicating and move without telling anyone, not even her mom?"
Gabby looked at her husband, who just shrugged. "I'm not abandoning her, Kelly. I'm sorry, I can't do that."
"Well, then she can stay here. She's not welcome at my place."
As Shay walked through the airport, she couldn't erase the smile on her face. She had been hoping this day would come. She scanned the airport looking for her friend, "Stella!" She hollered as she spotted the curly-haired woman, who was pacing back and forth.
Stella turns her head and smiles. She wanted to run to her, but she couldn't leave her son alone. As Shay got closer, Stella's nervousness kicked in.
"I missed you!" Shay said as she pulled her into a big hug.
"I missed you too," Stella said, as the tears started to fall. "I really missed you."
Shay pulled back, smiling, and wiped her eyes. "I can't believe you are here; you look good." She tells her, but she notices the bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under her eyes. She looked fragile and sad—really sad. There was definitely more to her story than just wanting to come home.
"Me either." Stella stepped back. "I never thought I would be back in Chicago."
"I'm happy to have your back, and I hope you stay. We all have missed you."
"I missed you all." She tells her honestly; she really has, but she knows one person isn't going to be happy that she's back, and that's just going to make things awkward for everyone.
Shay smiled and looked around. "So where is this man of yours?"
"What man?" Stella said, with a confused look.
"You said you had someone with you...
"It's not a man." Stella said as she cut her off. She took a deep breath. She turned Shay around to see the sleeping baby in the car seat sitting on the airport chair. "I want you to meet my son."
Shay's mouth dropped as she looked at the sleeping baby. "You're son?" She asked, still staring at the baby.
"Yeah, my baby boy, he's my world." Stella watches as Shay bends down and touches her son's cheek. "I'm sorry. I cut you and Gabby out of my life the last two years; things were complicated."
"I didn't even know you were pregnant."
"No one did."
Shay swallowed hard as she tried to process everything. "Where's his dad?"
Stella closed her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know, and I don't care. All that matters now is giving my son a good life. Keeping him safe and protecting him at all costs."
Shay turned to look at her, seeing the brokenness in her eyes. "He is safe, and so are you. We got you both."
"Good, I needed to hear that." She tells her as the tears she was holding back start falling again.
Shay pulled her into a hug. "I got you, Stella, and I got your son. You are my sister, my diamond, and my best friend. I will get you through whatever it is that's got you down. I love you."
Stella tightened her hold on her; it's been a long time since she's been hugged like this. "I love you too."
"Come on, let's get you out of here." Shay picked up the bags as Stella grabbed the car seat.
The car ride to Shay's was quiet. Stella was so occupied by seeing everyone and their reactions to her having a child. Mostly, Kelly's reaction scared her more.
Shay wasn't sure what to say; she was definitely not expecting Stella to come home with a baby, and looking so fragile, she wanted to question what happened the last few years, but she knew it wasn't the right time. And then there's Kelly, her best guy friend, her roommate, and Stella's ex. This wasn't going to be an easy transition for Stella or Kelly. There was no way they were going to be able to live under the same roof.
As they pulled into the parking garage of Shay's apartment building, "Maybe this is a bad idea." Stella whispered.
"What are you talking about?"
She bit her lip as she looked around. "I know we haven't talked in two years, so maybe things have changed." She looks at Shay. "Is Kelly still your roommate?"
Shay sees the terror in her eyes, and she knows she's not going to like her response. "Yes." She watches as Stella starts fidgeting with the seatbelt and crying. She has never seen her like this. "Stella, calm down. It's fine. Everything will be fine."
"I can't stay with you; we can't stay." She tries to open the door. But it's locked. Shay's car doors stay locked until the engine is turned off. "Open the door; let me out." She was going into full meltdown mode.
"Stella, calm down."
"I can't breathe." She cries as she starts beating on the other side of the door. "Open the door." She yelled. Tears fell rapidly down her face.
"Stella stop!" Shay tried grabbing her hands.
"I can't. I can't."
"You can't what?" Shay asked, holding her hands down. "Stella, breath." She whispered. "Just breathe for me."
"I can't..." Stella closed her eyes, her tears still falling.
"You can; just take a deep breath." Shay could feel her pulse racing as she held her hands down. She was sweating and
trembling, her skin was hot, and her face was flushed. "Just breathe, just breathe." She repeated it over and over to her. "Breathe in for the count of five, and then slowly breathe out for the count of seven."
Stella breathed in as Shay counted; she then exhaled as Shay counted again. They did this for a few seconds. "Thank you." Stella whispered as her breathing started coming back.
"You're welcome." Shay smiled. "Stella, whatever is going on with you, I'm going to help you through it. You hear me, I got you."
"I'm not the same girl I was in high school."
"Neither am I; things happen in life that change us. But one thing that hasn't changed is our friendship. Regardless of the last time we talked, we will always pick up where we left off. That's what true friendship is."
Stella hugged her. "I should have come home sooner."
"All that matters is that you're here now." She kisses her forehead. "Come on, let's get your son inside."
As they walked to the apartment, Stella looked around carefully. One thing she's learned over the past few years is to pay attention to your surroundings. It was dark and sort of creepy. She hated being out at night. Nights were the hardest for her. "It's not much, but it's home." Shay said, opening her front door.
"Trust me, it's better, then the places I've been living in."
Shay wanted to question her but decided it wasn't the right time. "Make yourself at home."
Stella slowly walked inside and went to the couch. "I promise it's just for tonight; I won't bother you again."
"You aren't a bother; don't ever think that." Shay sat down beside her. "You are always welcome here."
Stella gave her an are you kidding me expression. "I don't think Kelly would agree."
"Trust me, Kelly would never turn you away. He missed you just as much as the rest of us did." She wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "There's not a day in the last eight years that he didn't think about you."
Her eyes widen. "Really? He doesn't hate me." She asked, biting her lips nervously.
"Girl, please, that boy could never hate you, even if he tried." Shay laughed.
Stella smiled. "I really missed you." She tells her honestly.
"I missed you too."
The baby started crying. "He's probably hungry." Stella told her as she bent down to pick him up. She grabbed a small blanket. "Do you mind if I breastfeed him, or do you want me to go to another room?"
"Hell no, I love breasts just as much as he does." She teased her. "Feed away."
Stella laughs as she adjusts herself. "Does that hurt?" She asked as Stella placed her nipple in the baby's mouth.
"No, it tickles a little." Stella smiled down at her son.
"He is so adorable." Shay picked up his hand. "How old is he?"
"Three months."
"What's his name?"
Stella gave her a little smile. "Ryan Kelly Kidd." She looks down at her son.
Shay's eyes widened in surprise. "Kelly?"
"I wanted to name him after men that I admire and that I look up to. Men that I hope he turns into one day; men with great character. So, I named him Ryan after my dad and Kelly because that name is special to me." She gave Shay a little smile.
"It's the perfect name." She squeezed her knee. "Can I hold him?"
"Of course." She slowly places Ryan in Shay's arms.
"Oh my goodness!" She says as she was rocking the baby in her arms. "You are such a cutie pie."
Stella smiled as she watched Shay with Ryan. This was all she wanted: Ryan to be surrounded by people who would love him and support him. "You look good holding a baby."
"My girlfriend and I are talking about adopting one." Shay admitted. "I haven't told anyone yet, not even Kelly."
Stella's arched eyebrow. "Things must be pretty serious with this woman if you're talking about adopting."
Shay's face lit up. "It is; I'm so in love with her."
"And she feels the same?"
"Yep, we are talking about marriage and kids, and I'm moving in with her next week."
"Wow!" Stella was surprised. Shay always said there wasn't a woman alive that was going to make her want to settle down. "I'm really happy for you."
Shay kisses Ryan's forehead. "I can't believe you are a mom; you are the first one in our group to be a parent."
"Gabby and Matt don't have kids?"
"No," she whispered.
Stella was also surprised by that. "I figured they would have at least three or four by now."
"That was the dream."
Stella nods as she thinks back to their younger days. "It's hard to believe we've all been friends since elementary school."
"Great friends; then you and Kelly had to fall in love." She jokes.
"Hey! Gabby and Matt did too." She said defending herself.
"True, but you and Kelly started it."
Stella laughed. "Well, I'm sorry that I fell in love at fifteen."
"Are you still in love?" Shay asked; she had to know.
Stella's smile faded. "He was my first love; you know, they said you never get over your first love."
Shay eyed her for a moment. "You didn't answer my question."
"Do you think it would be okay if I took a shower?" She asked instead of answering her question.
Shay smirked. "Yeah, it's the third door on the right. The towels are in the brown cabinet."
"Thank you." She got up and dug through her bag. "I'm going to change him first."
"You go take a shower; I know how to change a diaper, Stella." She tells her as she stands up with the baby.
"I won't be long."
"Take as long as you want."
Stella looked at her surprise. "God, I can't remember the last time I took a shower longer than two minutes." Her eyes tear up. Shay gave her a remorseful look. "To answer your question." She unzippers her purse. And pulled out a necklace. "I wear it around my neck all the time; I held it tightly when I was in labor; it's what got me through the pain." A few tears fell again.
Shay walked closer and examined the necklace, her eyes wide when she saw the ring attached to it. "That's your engagement ring, that Kelly gave you."
"Yeah."
"How did you get it? He pawned it a few years ago."
"I know; he called me the night he pawned it. Left me a voicemail; it was four years ago. He was telling me he was finally over me, and he was officially letting me go."
Shay remembered that night clearly. "He was drunk. Stella, he was really drunk; he didn't mean anything he said that night. But how did you get it?"
She wiped her eyes. "I called my mom, crying and begging her to go to the pawn shop and buy it. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually she did it for me." She laughs. "She paid a pretty big price for it, but she said it was worth it to make me happy."
It was Shay's turn to be surprised. "Wow!" That definitely answered her question.
"Please don't tell Kelly." She begged.
Shay hated it, but she agreed to it. "I won't, I promise. Now go get a nice hot shower, a long one; hell, take a bubble bath."
"Wow! I can't remember the last bubble bath I took."
"Well, go take one—a nice relaxing one. I got little man."
Stella smiled. "Thank you, Shay." She tells her before walking down the hall.
"Let's get you changed." Shay says this as she grabs the diaper bag. "You are such a handsome little fella." She smiles as he moves around, not wanting to be changed. "See, was that so bad?" She rubs his belly to smooth him. "That's what I need: someone to rub my belly till I fall asleep."
"Are you talking to yourself?"
She looks up and sees Kelly standing in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"
He closes the door. "I live here." He tells her, like it's the obvious reason. He throws his keys down on the table.
Shay gives him a come on now look. "Kelly, I thought you were going to stay at Gabby's, at least for the night."
"Well, you thought wrong. I pay my half of the bills here; I have every right to be here." He smiles, his know-it-all smile. Then he walks to the fridge.
Shay sighed. She knew they were going to see each other soon anyway. But she was hoping it wasn't her first night back. She doesn't think Stella can handle seeing him right now.
"So." He began as he opened his beer. "Where is your friend?" He leans up against the counter and takes a sip of his beer, eyeing Shay with his glaring eyes.
"Our friend." She corrected him.
"Nope, the Stella Kidd I knew died about eight years ago."
His tone was nonchalant, but Shay knew he was just trying to cover what he was really feeling.
"If you want to be an ass, then be one. But you are not going to upset Stella." She gave him a stern look. "She needs us; actually, they need us. And I'm not turning my back on her, Kelly."
He arched his eyebrows. "They?" He questioned. His heart dropped to his stomach; she did bring someone with her. He wondered where they were; he needed to see this guy; his curiosity was eating him alive. "Where are they?" He asked, putting the they in parentheses.
Shay glared at him. "Stella is taking a much-needed bubble bath, and Ryan
"Ryan?" He said cutting her off. "That's his name; that sounds stupid."
Ryan, who was sleeping on the couch, and since the couch was facing away from the kitchen. Kelly didn't notice the sleeping baby. Shay realized that Kelly was thinking that Ryan was the name of Stella's boyfriend. "Ryan is sleeping, and he's not who you...
"Sleeping?" He cut her again. "Where the hell is he sleeping?" He slammed down his beer. "They better not be in my bed, Shay, I swear." He groaned. "What is wrong with you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Did you even consider my feelings when you agreed to let her stay here?" He asked in a hurtful tone. "Seriously, did you think about how her being here would affect me?"
"Of course I did. I thought about you all the way to the airport and back. But Kelly, come on now, you have to see where I'm coming from. She is our friend, and she needs...
"That's where you're wrong?" He interrupted her. "She's not our friend."
"Kelly." She said his name in an irritated tone. He was really pissing her off. "She is our friend, and you...
"Where the hell was our friend when Dawson and Casey got married? What the hell was our friend when Dawson had her three miscarriages? Where the hell was our friend when you got attacked? Where the hell was our friend when I was in the hospital? Where the hell was our friend when you had emergency surgery? Where the hell was our friend when Casey fell off the roof, splitting his head open, when we thought he was a goner. Where the hell was our friend when Gabby was barely able to walk? Where the hell was our friend when my dad died?" His eyes burned into her like fire.
Shay knew he was more hurt over Stella not being there when he lost his dad. Hiseyes tensely narrowed at her, his face red, his veins distended, his jaw jutting, and his fist clenched. "I don't know." That was all she could say, because that's the truth. She has no clue where Stella was; she tried to call her, but her number was disconnected.
"That's right." He said it in an argumentative manner. "I can tell you where she wasn't, and that's here. Because she wrote us off years ago. And you are a fucking fool to let her back in. I'm sure in hell not letting her back in. I refused to be sucked back into her...
The cry of a baby silenced him. His face turns from angry to confused. As he watches Shay pick up a tiny baby from the couch.
"Shh. It's okay." She whispered to the crying baby. "Uncle Kelly didn't mean to make you cry."
Kelly was beyond confused. "Who is that?"
Shay gave him a sympathetic look; she knew he was going to feel like an ass once he realized who the other man in Stella's life was. "This is Ryan." She slowly stood up. "Ryan is not Stella's husband, not her boyfriend, not her lover; he's her son."
