Kelly stared at the tiny baby in Shay's arms, his mind still processing what his friend just said. Her son, her son, was echoing in his mind. Stella has a son; she has a baby; a kid; a child; she's a mom. Stella is a mom; she chose to give another man a child. She had a baby with someone else; some lucky bastard is the father of Stella Kidd's baby, and this was not what he was expecting. When Gabby said she brought someone with her, he just assumed it was a man—her boyfriend; there was even a slight chance it could have been her husband. Hell, she could have been engaged again, for all he knew. He could have handled that, mainly because if he was honest with himself, he knew once they locked eyes, old feelings would resurface and she would be his again. They were written in the stars; they were supposed to be together; they belonged together. No matter how much time went by, he always believed love would lead her back to him; the love between them never went away. His dad told him on his deathbed that sometimes it takes some time on your own to find your way back home. Even his dad believed Stella would find her way back to him and they would get their happy ending. But this wasn't part of the plan; this hurt more than her falling in love with someone else. This is supposed to be their baby; she was supposed to start a family with him. "You know, I think I made a mistake," he said when he was able to speak.
Shay gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"I shouldn't have come," he said, stepping away, his eyes still on the baby. "I'm going to grab my station gear and stay with Casey and Dawson tonight, or for a few nights."
"Kelly!" Shay said as he stormed off to his room. She knew this was going to hurt him, and there wasn't anything she could say or do to ease his pain.
He came back out and grabbed his keys and jacket. "Just let me know when she's gone; I'll stay out of her way."
"Kelly, you can't avoid her."
He opened the front door. "Where's the father?" he asked. Part of him didn't want to know, but that's the only way he would be able to sleep. Well, hell, sleep is pretty much out the window now. He is more curious as to why the father isn't here.
Shay sighed. "She said she doesn't know, and she doesn't care." Kelly turned and looked at her. "I don't think this little bundle of joy was conceived out of love."
"I need to process this; it's too much." He looked at the baby. "I'm glad she has you their in good hands." He then walked out the door.
Shay kissed Ryan's forehead. "He's a good guy; he'll come around." She tells the cranky baby as she rocks him.
Stella was soaking and relaxing in a nice, hot lavender-scented bubble bath.
feeling it hug every inch of her skin so gently, breathing in the aroma of the bubble bath, it felt like heaven, breathing deeply and letting her inner peace relax. She couldn't remember the last time she took a bubble bath or had any time to just relax and breathe. She definitely needed this me time; she loves her son, but she missed having moments to herself.
She closed her eyes, enjoying the peaceful quietness. A voice echoed through the bathroom, her eyes open at the realization of who's voice it was. She knew that voice; she'd missed that voice. He sounded mad, angry, and extremely pissed; he didn't sound like he was happy she was back. She doesn't blame him; she knew he wasn't going to welcome her back with open arms.
She was paralyzed as she listened to him tell Shay that she was her friend, not his.
She felt a piece of her heart break as he questioned Shay where their friend was when Matt and Gabby got married. She got the invitation a few months later, and her heart broke at hearing Gabby had three miscarriages. "Oh my..." she whispered. She knew how badly Gabby wanted to be a mom and the heartbreak that Gabby was going through.
She wipes her eyes as she hears him talk about being hospitalized, Shay having emergency surgery, Casey falling off a roof, splitting his head open, and Shay being attacked. Hearing Shay was attacked astounds her; she wonders how she was attacked and what kind of attack it was. Did the same thing happen to Shay that happened to her? She touches the scar on her stomach, and her eyes start burning as she remembers the horrible night—the night that changed her life.
She gasps. "Benny died." Her eyes closed, and she could hear his voice cracking. "When did Benny die?" She questioned herself. "Benny is dead." Her mind fills with images of Benny and Kelly; they were so close, Kelly looked up to him. His death had to crush Kelly, and just like he said, where the hell was she? She doesn't even know where she was; she can't even remember most days.
She desperately wants to walk out there and tell Kelly how sorry she is for his loss and how sorry she is for not being there for him. How sorry she is for ghosting everyone, how sorry she is for hurting him, how sorry she is for breaking her promise, how sorry she is for everything.
But she knows it's too late to apologize. Apologizing won't fix what she did, and the way he sounded, she's pretty sure he wouldn't accept an apology either.
She slowly gets up and grabs a towel. She wraps the towel around her. And she walks to the door. It's quiet now, and she wonders if he left or went to his room. She cracks the door so she can listen. She hears him say, Who is that? And then Shay says, "This is Ryan." Stella's heart starts pounding; her pulse starts racing; he's meeting her son. She wasn't prepared for this; she puts her hand over her mouth, afraid of the sound she might make. She hears Shay tell him, This is Stella's son, and she feels like she was punched in the stomach. She knows it's going to literally kill him; her having a son is worse than her having a boyfriend or being married. Her tears come streaming down her face. If he didn't hate her before, he definitely does now.
Kelly felt like he was hit by a train; his emotions were all over the place. He was angry, he was pissed, he was irritated, completely devastated. As he drove back to Casey's, all he could think of was a conversation that eventually led to their breakup.
Flashback eight years ago in LA, two months before their break-up.
Stella walked into her apartment a little after midnight, exhausted and sore. She was on set since two a.m., and the new director was working her nerves today. All she wanted to do was take off her shoes and climb into bed. As she scanned through her mail, she heard a noise and immediately grabbed the baseball bat that Shay gave her, telling her LA is full of creeps. She kicked off her shoes and slowly tiptoed inside her apartment, looking and closely listening as she rounded the corner of her hallway. She saw lights flickering in her bedroom "Damn." She whispered as she realized she had left her phone on the stand by the door. As she approaches her door, she silently prays for strength. She pushes her door slowly open. The creep was in her bathroom; she saw flickering candles lit all around the room. Then she hears a noise.
"Freeze!" She yells as she sticks the bat out like it's a gun. She is shaking like a tree in a tornado. "Kelly!" She exclaimed loudly as she let out a deep breath.
"Hey to you too, babe." He says it sarcastically, with an amused look on his face.
She drops the bat. "Damnit, Kelly, you could have given me a heart attack."
He walks over to her. "I'm so sorry." He pulls her to him. "I wanted to surprise you."
"Oh, you surprised me alright." She wrapped her arms around his neck.
He kisses her. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he kissed her again. He repeated over and over how sorry he was in between little kisses. "I missed you."
"I missed you." She tells him softly. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."
"I do; trust me." He tells her as he lifts her up and carries her to the bed. "God, you get more beautiful every time I see you."
He kisses her neck as she slips her hands under his T-shirt.
"Take your shirt off." He kneels on the bed and takes off his shirt. Her eyes light up. "Damn, you are so fine." She tells him as her hands roam his chest.
"You are only with me for my body." He smirks.
"Pretty much." She teases. "What can I say, shirtless? You drives me insane." She rakes her nails down his toned chest. "My man is so fine."
He smiles down at her. "My girl is so beautiful and sexy." He softly traces her face. "God, I missed you." His eyes were burning into hers.
And she sees the raw emotion reflection on his face. She kisses him because she knew he was going to start talking about her coming back home. And it's a conversation she doesn't want to have right now; all she wants is to make love to him. It's been two months since their last love making, and this would probably be their last one for awhile once she tells him her plans have changed.
They spent the night making love and enjoying each other. The next morning, Kelly was the first to wake. He smiled at his girl sleeping in his arms. He misses waking up to her in his arms. He couldn't wait till she was back in Chicago this summer. He kisses her shoulder, then her neck. He lifts her hand and kisses it. His smile fades as he looks at her fingers.
"Morning babe." She whispered happily. When he didn't respond, she looked up at him. "What's wrong?" She asked, noticing his expression.
"Where's your ring?" He asked without looking at her.
"What?"
"Where's your engagement ring?" He looks down at her. His eyes full of hurt and questions.
"In my jewelry box."
"Why aren't you wearing it?"
"I wear it... sometimes."
He arched his eyebrow. "Sometimes." He repeated. "You should wear it every day, so people know you're taken."
She sits up. "Kelly, everyone knows I'm taken. I talk about you all the time. I don't wear it when I'm on set because my character is a single woman. So...
"I get that, but why not just put it in your pocket when you're filming and slip it back on when you're not filming?"
"Because I'm afraid of losing it, so I keep it in my jewelry box where I know it's safe."
"And nobody can see it."
"No, that's not the reason." She jumps off the bed and walks to her dresser. "See, I know exactly where it is. Kelly, I am happy to show off my ring." She slips it back on her finger. "I love my ring as much as I love you." She walks back over to him. "Don't you trust me?"
"Of course." He pulls her back onto the bed. And holds her hand. "I don't trust the guys you have to work with." He admitted. "But I trust you."
"You have nothing to worry about; you are always on my mind. I miss you so much."
"It's hard sometimes; I often wonder what you're doing. Who you're with...
She cupped his face. "Kelly, all I do is work, and when I'm not working, I'm here in my small, lonely apartment thinking about you."
He kisses her softly and says, "I love you so much; this long distance is driving me crazy."
"I know, me too." She lays her head on his chest.
"I just can't wait till this summer to have you all summer in Chicago." He hugged tightly.
She closed her eyes, enjoying the tight embrace. She knew her next words were going to crush him. "Kelly, I have to tell you something."
"What?"
She pulls back. "My plans sort of changed."
"What do you mean?"
"I auditioned for a movie, and I just found out yesterday that I got it."
His face lit up. "Stella, baby, that's awesome!" He hugged her and kissed the side of her head. "I'm so proud of you."
Her eyes tear up, mixed with sadness and happiness, happiness for him being proud of her; he's always been her biggest supporter. And sadness because she knew she was about to break his heart. "The movie is being shot in New York, and I am going there in May through August.
His smile dropped. "This year?" She nods. "So you're not coming home this summer?"
"No."
"Oh!" He pulled away from her. "That sucks."
She caresses his back. "I know; I'm sorry, Kelly. I..
"It's your dream, and I want you to achieve everything you want." He looks at her and gives her a half-smile. "I am really proud of you."
"That makes me so happy."
"Can we set a date?" He asks her, and she gives him a confused look. "A date for our wedding. You said you wanted to be engaged for a year. Well, it's been a year since we've been engaged. We haven't even talked about a date."
"Umm..." She thought about what to say. She knew he was going to get upset, but she couldn't keep avoiding the conversation. "I think we should wait a few more...
"Months?" He asked, interrupting her.
"No, I was thinking three years." She tells him giving him a pitiful look.
"Three years?" He repeated it in disbelief.
"Kelly, let me explain." She tells him. When he doesn't protest, she continues on. "I set a goal for myself, Kelly; I gave myself a five-year goal line. There are things I want to accomplish with my acting career before I get married."
"You can be an actress and be married; I'm not going to stop you from acting."
"I know, baby, it's just that I want all my focus to be on my acting career. I want to get myself a good five years to see what's out there, and if I do like it, if I like living here in LA or if I want to move to New York, Miami...
"Where the hell is all this coming from?" He stood up. "It's like I don't even know who you are right now. We've already had this talk. You are going to be an actress. We are going to be engaged for a year or two. We are going to get married. I was going to come to LA or you were going to move back to Chicago. Then we were going to start our family. We had it all laid out, Stella. Where is this five-year plan of yours coming from?"
She stood up too. "Kelly, we are only twenty; we don't have to be in a rush to get married. We have our whole lives ahead of us. I'm just asking you to give me time here to focus energy on my acting and see if this is truly what I want to do with the rest of my life."
He gave her a confused look. "You don't want to be an actress anymore?"
She sighed. "I love acting. I love being in the spotlight. You know that I've been doing that since I was five. I was born to be an actress, and I'm enjoying everything I've done in the last two years. I'm very excited for this movie this summer, but I just don't know. If all this attention I'm getting is what I want for the rest of my life. I kind of miss just being with friends, and you, having privacy. I'm not ready to give it up; I want to see what else is offered to me. I just can't seem to picture myself living this lifestyle in ten years. I'm confused."
"Do you see me in your life ten years from now?"
"Yes! Of course I do." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "A lot of things are changing in my life daily, but you are the one thing that never changes. You are the one thing that I am 100% sure about. I love you so much, Kelly; I do, and I want to be your wife. I'm just asking for a little bit more time to find myself."
He kisses. "I just want to start our life together; I want you to be my wife. I want you to come back to Chicago, so we can start our family."
Stella bit her lip for a moment. "I want to be your wife, but I'm not so sure about moving back to Chicago."
"Then I'll move here; I can be a firefighter in LA."
"I don't even know if I'm staying in LA; my agent wants me to move to New York for a year."
"Then I'll move to New York."
She smiles. "You would?"
"Stella, I can be a firefighter anywhere. I want to be wherever you are."
"You amaze me more and more every day; I love you." She kisses his nose.
He kisses her neck. "We could start practicing for a family right now."
"I don't want a baby." She blurted it out without thinking.
"What?"
Her eyes widened; she didn't mean to say it out loud. Her mind has been overwhelmed by a co-star telling her to skip parenthood; being a mom can ruin her acting career. "I don't want a baby."
"Well, of course not right now. I mean in a few years or so when we're married and settled in one state together."
"Kelly, I'm not sure I want a baby at all."
End of Flashback
The loud car horn jerks him from his memory. He shakes his head and cranks his neck. His eyes were burning as he fought back his tears. He turned into Casey's driveway and turned the engine off. He knew they went to bed it's after eleven. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down. After a few deep breaths, he got out the car. And headed to the door. He rang the doorbell, hating to disturb them.
The door flew open. "Severide?" Casey asked hesitantly.
"Sorry, man, I need a place to crash for tonight or a few nights. I'm not sure at the moment.
"Sure, come on in."
"Kelly, is everything okay?" Gabby asked as she tied her robe.
"Nope," he said as he plopped down on their couch.
They both had a feeling he was going to be back; they knew he wasn't prepared to see Stella yet. "What happened, man?" Casey asked.
Kelly threw his head back dejectedly. "She has a son." He whispered.
"What?" Gabby got closer. "Who has a son?"
"She has a son." He repeated. "She has a son; she has a son."
Gabby and Casey exchanged looks. "Stella, has a son?" Gabby questioned.
He looks at her. "Yep, Stella... has a son."
"Wow!". Gabby replied as she slowly sat down. "How old? What's his name? Did his father come with them?"
"All I know is that it's a boy, and he's her son; he's tiny, very tiny. His name is Ryan..." He used his eyes. "She must have named him after his father." That thought cut like a knife.
"She probably named him Ryan because of her dad; you know how much she misses him."
Kelly shrugs. "Maybe." He sighed. "I can't believe she has a son. I thought if I said it out loud a few times, it would finally process, but nope, I'm still having trouble processing it."
Gabby was having trouble too, but for a different reason than Kelly. "Where is his father? Did he come with her?"
"I don't think anyone else is with her, and I don't know, apparently, not in their life."
"How does Stella look?" Is she...
"I don't know; she was supposedly taking a bath. I left after finding out she had a son; I didn't want to see her after that."
"Kelly...
"Don't lecture me, Dawson; I can't even look at her." His tears start falling. "She had a baby with someone else; she didn't want to have one with me, the guy she claimed to love so much, but she can give another man a baby. How's that fair?"
"I wish I knew what to say...
He stood up and looked out the window. "I could have handled her coming back with a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband... But I can't handle her having a son... That hurts too much."
Gabby was definitely feeling the same way; she has been trying for four years to have a baby, and all she gets is miscarriage after miscarriage. She's not sure if she can handle seeing Stella with a baby too. "I'm going to head to bed." She tells them as she quickly leaves the room.
Casey knew what she was thinking; he rubbed his head. "If she's sticking around, you are going to have to face her, Severide."
He closed his eyes. "I waited eight years for her to come back to me—eight damn years. I could have been married and had a few kids of my own by now. But my heart was set on her returning to me, and now she's here. And I just wish she stayed gone, now."
Stella pulled herself together before walking out of the bathroom. She smiles as she spots Shay on the couch, half asleep, holding Ryan. She walks over and carefully takes her son out of Shay's arms.
Shay jerks a little. "I must have fallen asleep."
"You did."
"Sorry."
"Hey, I fall asleep with him all the time, especially when he was first born. He was so tiny, I didn't want to put him down." She caresses his head. "I was so scared I was going to hurt him." She sat down, rocking him gently. "I'm sorry." She says this, looking over at Shay.
"For what?"
She sighed. "I heard him, Shay; I heard everything he said."
Shay narrowed her eyes, curious about what she was talking about. "Oh," she replied as it dawned on her what she meant. "Stella, he didn't mean...
"Shay, don't." She interrupted her. "He meant it; he meant everything he said. And I understand that I do." She smiles down at her son. "When did Benny die?"
"Last year, heart attack."
She nods. "Gabby had three miscarriages."
"She did; the first one was two years ago, the second one was about six months ago, and the third one was last month."
Stella's eyes widen. "Last month?" Shay nods. "Miscarriages are horrible; I had one a while back years ago."
"You did?" Shay watches her closely, happy that she is slowly opening up.
"I did, I didn't even know I was pregnant when it happened. The nurse was really supportive since I didn't have anyone there for me."
"Where was the father?" She asked; she wasn't trying to be nosey; she was curious.
"Why did you need emergency surgery?" She asked instead of answering the question.
"I got shot..
"Shot?" She repeated cutting her off. She looked at her with wide eyes. "When did you get shot?"
"A few years ago, I was coming out of a gas station, and the shooter was aiming for someone else and hit me."
"Are you okay now?"
"I am. I have a therapist who has helped me a lot and got me back to my old fun, crazy self."
Stella gave her a small smile. "Casey falling off the roof; is he okay now?"
"He is; he struggled through physical therapy and was hardheaded about everything, but it's been about two years now, and he's doing much better."
"That's good." She looks back down at her sleeping baby. "Why was Kelly hospitalized?"
They lock eyes. "During a search and rescue in the lake, Kelly took his mask off to give to a little girl that was barely breathing and went back under without air to get the girl's mom." She closed her eyes. As she remembers that day
Stella watches her and says, "Shay, you don't have to tell me." She tells her, she knew she was struggling.
Shay opened her eyes. "I'm fine; it's just that I get a little emotional every time I remember them pulling his lifeless body out of the lake, and..." She starts crying, causing Stella to cry. "He was in a coma for a few weeks; the nurse told me one night he wasn't fighting anymore and that he was slowly pulling away. I sat by his bed for weeks, praying and begging him to fight and open his eyes. Jennifer was convinced he had given up on life; the accident happened two months after Benny died."
Stella sat there, stunned, as Shay continued talking.
Shay bit her lip, knowing that she needed to hear this. " The morning he opened his eyes, he said. "She stood up and walked over to her. Stella wasn't sure what was happening. "He said your name."
"What?"
"The morning he came out of the coma, he called for you, Stella."
Her confused face changed to a more rattled and puzzled look. Why would you call her name?
"We were all confused at first, but he told me that when he was in his coma, he felt like he couldn't go on anymore. You came to him and told him to fight; you begged him not to give up; you said that you needed him, and you
"Loved him." She finished for her.
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"It was just a guess." She stood up. "I'm really tried...
Shay knew she wasn't telling her something but didn't want to press her about it. "Yeah, of course. You can stay in Kelly's room."
"Shay, I...
"Stella, it's fine."
Stella wasn't like this, but she was exhausted and needed to gather her thoughts together. She follows Shay to Kelly's room.
"He's a little messy." She says this as she clears off his bed. "And I can never get that man to make his bed."
Stella smiles as she remembers how many mornings she made his bed. "Somethings never change, huh?" She nervously looks around the room; his taste hasn't changed. She looks at the pictures on his wall and the ones on his shelf; she sees his mom, his dad, Shay, Gabby, and Matt. Her eyes see a picture of their high school graduation; it was all of them. She remembers taking this picture: Casey was on the left, next to him was Gabby, then Shay, and Kelly was next to Shay. Her heart breaks when she sees the scissors marks. "He cut me out of the group picture."
"Yeah." She admitted. She saw her wipe her eyes. "He wants people to think he is over you and that he has moved on."
"It does seem like he is." With what she overheard and now him cutting her out of pictures, it doesn't seem like he missed her at all.
"Open the second drawer." She tells her. Stella hesitants. "Just do it." She takes Ryan from Stella's arms. Stella took a deep breath and opened the drawer slowly. She lifted up the shirts on the left side; and her eyes widen. "See, he cares; yes, he cut you out of pictures, but he didn't throw them away; he kept them. And there is a picture of you guys taking in LA that he keeps in the back of his wallet; he doesn't know, I know though."
"He kept everything." She whispered. "I miss this girl," she says as she stares at an old high school picture.
"You're still the same person deep down."
"I can never be this girl again." She turns to face her. "I heard Kelly say you were attacked; is that true?"
"Yeah." She laid Ryan in the middle of Kelly's bed. And looks at Stella and crossed her arms around herself. "Umm. A few years ago, I was attacked in the hospital parking garage."
Stella looked over at Ryan, who was sleeping in the middle of Kelly's bed. "What did... he, um, do to you?"
She was a little thrown off by the question. "Held me up at gunpoint, took my wallet and my car, and someone hit me in the back of the head. I woke up in the hospital. Not remembering anything." She watches as Stella bits her lip and stares at Ryan.
"Wow!" She fought back tears.
"Yeah, ironically, that's not the first time a gun has been pointed at me."
Stella was stunned. "Really?"
"Yep." She nods. "Being a first responder puts you in some crazy, scary situations."
Stella gave her a sympathetic expression. "Shay, I know sorry is just a four-letter word, and it really doesn't mean much. But I am truly sorry for ghosting you all. I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you guys needed me. I'm sorry.
Shay walked over to her. "I forgive you for ghosting me; that hurt. But you do not owe me any more apologies." She grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry for not looking for you harder and for not being there when you needed a friend." She looks at Ryan. "Just out of curiosity, you said earlier that you held your engagement ring tightly to help with the pain when you were in labor."
"Yeah, it gave me the strength to keep going."
"Was there anyone there with you?"
"No, it was just me and a very nice, sweet, caring, supportive nurse." She cried.
"I wish you would have called; I would have been there for you. We all would have."
"I know." She wipes her eyes. "I wanted to call, and I really did, especially Kelly. But I figured too much time had passed, and it was best to leave you guys alone."
"I don't care how much time has passed. If you had called, I would have dropped everything and came to you. No questions asked."
Stella hugged her tightly. "There is stuff I want to tell you, but I'm not quite sure how."
"You don't have to tell me anything; I don't need any explanation." She pulled back and cupped her face. "I just want you to know and believe me when I say you're safe now, and so is Ryan. I got you; we got you." She corrected herself. "You're not alone anymore, Stella."
"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."
Shay kissed her cheek. "Get some sleep. I have shift tomorrow, so you will be here by yourself. Make yourself at home. I have food; I have cable; I have tequila." She laughs.
"Thanks, but I don't drink anymore."
Shay was surprised; Stella loved her tequila back in the day. "Well, I have coffee, tea, and water. I have things here that's non-alcoholic." She jokes.
"Thank you again for letting us crash; it means a lot."
"Quit thanking me." She jokes.
Stella smiled nervously. "Shay, can you do me a favor. I understand if you say no."
"Of course, what's the favor?"
"Will you relay a message for me to Kelly."
Shay wasn't expecting this turn of events. "Yes, I will."
"Tell him, I'm sorry for the lost of his dad, and I understand how hurt and angry he is with me. He has every right to be mad and to hate me. But I'm truly sorry for his loss."
Shay nods. "I will relay the message."
"Thank you." She wishes she was strong enough to go to him and tell her herself but she's not ready to see him yet.
Shay squeezed her arm,knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Good night, Stella; my room is just down the hall if you need me." She winks at her before walking out of the room.
Stella sighed deeply as she looked around Kelly's room again. Her eyes go to his bed, and she smiles as Ryan makes a little noise in his sleep. He looks completely comfortable and peaceful; she lays down beside him and turns the light off. She can't recall the last time she slept in a bed. She covers herself and Ryan up. She kisses his forehead and closes her eyes. She smiles as Kelly's cologne invades her nose; he's still wearing the same cologne. She snuggles closer to his pillow, feeling so much better and so relaxed. It's like all her worries, anxiety, and fears all disappeared as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep, something she hasn't had in years.
Shay was in the kitchen filling her togo cup with fresh coffee, getting ready to head to work. She left Stella a little note by the coffee pot. As she grabs her bag, the front door bursts open. "What the hell, Severide?" She said, giving him a glare. "Don't be busting in the door like the police."
"Whatever, I need to get my gear bag." He said this as he walked towards his room.
"You got your gear bag last night, remember?"
"I mistakenly picked up my gym bag, not my gear bag."
"Let me get it for you." Shay said as she ran towards him.
He stopped her. "I am capable enough to get my own bag, Shay." He gives her a strange look. He walks to the door.
"Stella's is in there." She tells him before he opens the door.
He freezes with his hand on the door knob. He looks back at Shay, who was giving him an apologetic look.
"My mistake. I didn't think you would be back, so I told her that she and Ryan could sleep in your bed. I'm so sorry, Severide. Don't make me mad."
He knew she was here, which was one of the reasons he stormed into the apartment so fast, because he wanted to walk in, grab the bag, and walk back out. He wasn't planning on her being in his bedroom. "It's fine." He closed his eyes. "Gotta see her sometime, right?"
"Yeah." She never bit her bottom lip. "She heard you last night, everything you said. She heard."
He looks back at her. "I was speaking the truth, and you know that. I'm not sorry."
"She knows; she said you have every right to hate her."
He looks back at the closed door in front of him. But he doesn't respond. Shay watches as he closes his eyes again.
"She said to tell you she's sorry about your dad. She wishes she...
"Her sorrys are just a four-letter word. They mean nothing." He interrupted her.
"Sorry, It's just a word. One word against a thousand actions."
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
He sighs; he's not in the mood to have this debate with her. He opens his eyes and slowly and easily opens his door. His eyes immediately land on her sleeping form; she's lying on his side of the bed, one hand under the pillow, the other on the baby laying beside her. She looks peaceful and content. Her hair looks longer, and she looks pale and fragile. She's different than he last remembered, but she's still beautiful.
The sound of a phone ringing knocks him from his trance. His eyes widen as he watches her open her eyes.
"Kelly...
