Starting a new chapter in life can be an exciting but also daunting experience. Whether it's a new job, a new relationship, a move to a new place, or simply a new outlook on life, new beginnings bring a mix of emotions and opportunities.
It's been three weeks since Stella came back to Chicago; it's been an awkward and overwhelming few weeks. She didn't know what to expect when she came back; she knew it wasn't going to be an easy transition. Not just for her, but for everyone she left behind; she knew they were hurt and upset with her after suddenly ghosting them for two years. Moving back home was the best decision, even though she feels like an outsider with her old friends and her mom's new life.
Her mom was dating a man who was caring, adventurous, and very rich. Stella thought at first, when she met him, that the rich part was why her mom was with him. But after spending time with them, she noticed that her mom was really in love and happy. Dave was the perfect man for her mom; his four kids are a little wild and out of control. But her mom seems to be happy, and that's all that really matters.
The only true friend she has is Shay. Shay is the only one who doesn't treat her like she has a contagious disease or something. Gabby and Casey seemed to be too busy to stop by and see her. And Gabby always makes up an excuse every time Shay makes plans for the three of them. And Kelly, Kelly was another story.
She knows he's not happy she's here; she heard his conversation with Shay the first night she got to town. And then there was the morning she woke up and saw him watching her sleep. Their eyes locked for the first time in eight years. His eyes seemed cold and threatening. Not the eyes that she remembers; the eyes that she fell in love with were the lightest shade of blue possible, trustworthy, inviting—the kind of eyes you'd find on an Alaskan husky. His jaw was tight, fitting the gaze in his eyes—almost cautionary. He wore a red polo t-shirt, stretched thin but not too thin by his large chest. Time was good to him; he was hotter than she remembered.
She went to speak, but nothing came out, and before she could get the courage up, he bolted out faster than a cheetah. She knows he's hurt; he feels betrayed; she broke him and broke herself in the process.
Shay tells her he just needs time to process her being back and that he'll come around. But honestly, she can't blame him; she hates herself for hurting him. They were supposed to be together forever; their whole life was planned out.But she threw it all away, all because she allowed people to get into her head. If she knew that moving to LA would mean she would have to let him go, she would have stayed in Chicago.
After their awkward moment in his bedroom, Stella decided it was best to leave. It wasn't fair to be staying at Kelly's apartment when he honestly didn't want her there. It wasn't fair that he was staying at Gabby's and Matt's just so he could avoid her. She didn't want to disturb his life more than she already had just by coming back to Chicago. So she called her mom, and her mom called a locksmith. So she could get inside, while she was away. She decided staying with her mom was for the best.
Shay wasn't too happy about it, but eventually she understood why she was doing what she was doing. According to Shay, Kelly didn't want her to leave, but he was still in shock at her being back. He needed to adjust to her being back in town and back in his life.
She understands how he feels she is still adjusting to being back in her hometown. There were so many memories at her mom's house—memories that included Kelly. All her memories included Kelly; he was her best friend, her person, and her soulmate at one time. So it's hard not to think about him, but she is trying her hardest.
She enjoyed being at her mom's house the first three days, but on the fourth day, her mom and Dave, along with Dave's four kids, were back in town. The house went from peacefulness to extremely noisy fast. The kids were sweet and adorable when they were sleeping, but when they were awake, all they did was scream and chase each other around the house, playing cops and robbers. When Stella would ask them to be quiet so the baby could sleep, they would get louder. Dave was a nice man, but he didn't know anything about discipline. He let the kids do what they wanted, when they wanted. They didn't have bedtimes; they just ran around till they dropped. It was very frustrating for Stella when it came to calming Ryan down; Ryan would drift off to sleep just to be awoken a few minutes later. Since it was summer, they were out of school. And always home; Stella lasted four days before she snapped by yelling at them, which led to a long conversation with her mom.
They decided the best thing for everyone was for Stella to stay somewhere else. Her mom told her that her grandmother's house was the perfect place for her and Ryan. Her grandma died about five years ago, and no one has been in the house since then.Her mom said it needs a lot of work done, and she was right when Stella went to look at it; there was a list of stuff that needed to be replaced or repaired. Dave hired someone to put on a new roof since the old one was damaged years ago during a storm.
Dave and her mom brought the paint and other supplies she needed to start getting ready to move in. Her mom also hired her at her salon so she could pay the utilities and stuff. Stella didn't want to live on Dave's money; she appreciated the house and him buying stuff. But she wanted to pay her own bills. She's been working at the salon part-time for a week now. Her mom cleaned out one of the storage rooms and made it a room for Ryan, so Stella could bring her son to work with her.
She's spent the last week on her off days and after her shift working on the house. She hadn't moved in yet, and there was still a lot of work to do. But she spent every free moment she had working on her soon-to-be home. Shay and her girlfriend, Foster, helped her when they were available. Along with her mom and Dave. Everything was coming together smoothly, and Stella was finally feeling like being back in Chicago wasn't such a bad idea.
Shay walked out of the firehouse and headed to her car. "Hey!" Gabby yelled.
Shay turned around to see Gabby and Matt, followed by tag-along Kelly. "What?"
"We are going to go grab breakfast. Wanna come?" Gabby asked her as they stopped walking.
"No thanks; I have plans."
"Foster is working today." Kelly spoke up, curious about what her plans were.
"Yes, she is, but my plans are with Stella." She crossed her arms around herself. "You guys remember our friend Stella, right?" She asked in a mocking tone.
Kelly looked down at the ground. "Of course we do, Shay." Casey tells her as he grabs Gabby's hand. "We've just been busy.
"Save it, Matt." Shay was irritated with them all. "Honestly, I think Stella is right; I kept telling her she wasn't, but you guys just...
"Right, about what?" Gabby interrupted her. Kelly looked up; he was curious too.
"That you guys hate her, that you guys have this grudge against her and can't or refuse to forgive her."
"We don't hate her." Matt said. Gabby looked down at the ground.
"She's been back for three weeks now, and none of you have bothered to go see her or call her. I don't understand, Kelly. I can understand a little; she destroyed him. So him not coming around makes sense. But not you two." She looked at Matt and Gabby. "You two claim that you missed her but can't make time to come see her or meet her son." She looks at Gabby. "I know it's hard to see Stella with a baby." She glanced at Kelly, who was looking off into the distance. "Especially after everything you've been through, it's not Stella's fault or her son's fault. It sucks that you keep having miscarriages, but you can't hate Stella because she has a baby. That's not fair.
"We have to go." Gabby interrupted her again. Pulling Matt away.
"We don't hate her, or that she's a mom." Matt said as Gabby dragged him away.
"I can't believe she's acting this way." Shay said as she watched the couple get into the truck.
"How is Stella doing?"
Shay's eyes widened in surprise. It's been two weeks since he asked about Stella. "Good, she's remodeling her grandma's house."
"Yeah, I heard. Her mom told my mom that Stella was moving into that house after she got it done." He put his hands in his pockets. "How's the remodeling going?"
"Good, we are painting today. Stella got a lot done yesterday. The grass needs cutting; it's almost as tall as me." She laughs.
He smirks. "Where's her son while she's working on the house?"
She couldn't believe how interested he was; this was the last thing she expected.
He acted like he didn't want to talk about her or hear anything about her. And Ryan was a sore subject; she never brought up Ryan when Kelly was around. "Her mom watches him; Stella didn't want him breathing in the paint fumes."
He nods. "Makes sense."
"She's working at her mom's salon four days a week." She doesn't know why, but she wanted to let him know. She felt like he was slowly coming to terms with Stella being back.
"Wow!" He chuckled. "She hated working there during the summer."
"Yeah, I remember."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm going to head home; I'm glad things are coming together for her. I'll see you later." He walks away slowly.
Shay stood there watching him walk away, and she smiled. He seemed a lot more calm and content talking about Stella; maybe things were finally looking up.
Kelly got into his car and sighed deeply. He opened his glove department box. And pulled out pictures, he smiled as he looked through the pictures—pictures of him, Stella. Pictures of simple and happy times. He stared at her picture; her hazelnut eyes were deeper than the sea, warmer than a blazing fire, and sweeter than chocolate. Her eyes always sparkled; they always shined the brightest and were full of love and happiness. He used to love looking into her eyes; he used to get so lost in them. She was the happiest woman he knew, next to Shay.
His mind flashes back to that morning he walked into his room, her waking up with a surprise look on her face, seeing him standing in the doorway. Their eyes locked for the first time in eight years. The sparkle in her eyes was dimmer; they looked sad, scared, lost, and broken. He used to be able to read her eyes like a book, but they were so dark and unreadable. Her face was pale, fragile, and thin. He could tell she was trying to say something, but he couldn't hear her voice. He wasn't ready to hear the voice he missed so much. He was barely able to function seeing those eyes he loved so much again. Even if they were different. His pillow has her scent on it; he wants to change the pillow case, but he loves her scent and misses her scent. It's like having her back in his bed again; he missed the way she smelled, the way she tasted, and the way she fit in his arms like the perfect puzzle piece.
He put the pictures away and looked out the window. He wondered if Ryan had her eyes or his father's eyes. He can't understand why she was raising this baby alone; where was his father? How can a man just walk away from his child? How can a man in his right mind just walk away from a woman like Stella? He was a lucky bastard to have Stella and his life, and for her to have his baby, she must have really loved him.
He closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. He wondered if Shay was right—was the baby a mistake? Was he not conceived out of love—a one-night stand, maybe? Maybe with someone who wasn't a good man—a man who hurt her and didn't treat her right. Maybe she had to leave LA to get away from him; was she running from someone or something? Is that why she looks so lost and broken? He couldn't help but imagine the different scenarios that were now playing in his mind. He wants answers, he needs answers. And he knows the only way to get answers is to talk to her.
Shay walked into the house and smiled. "Wow! You must have been busting your ass all night."
Stella looked up from the floor. "I told you I got to get out of my mom and Dave's house; those wild kids are driving me nuts." She laughs as she takes a sip of her water.
Shay laughs. "The living room looks great; I love the Burgundy color. Where's the furniture?"
She chuckled. "My mom decided, and I had no say, that my grandma's furniture was outdated. So she donated it all: the couch, the loveseat, the tables, the lamps, the beds, dressers, and the dining room table." She smacked her lips. "Pretty much everything, but my grandma's rocking chair. I had to fight her on that. I loved that chair; she kept it in the corner of the room and sat in it every night. That's where she sipped her nighttime tea and read me a story. So I wanted to keep it; I thought it would be cool to rock Ryan in that chair; it would be like my grandma is still with us."
"I like that idea, so what are you doing for furniture then?"
"Well, even though I hate being treated like a charity case, my mom has taken it upon herself to buy me new furniture."
"Really? And you're okay with it."
"No, not really, but honestly, I just want to get moved in so Ryan and I can finally have a home. I'm just going to let her do whatever she wants."
Shay raised her eyebrow. "Wow! I bet that made her happy."
"Oh, it did." Stella stood up. "I got Ryan's room painted, and my mom brought him a crib, a changing table, blankets, and a whole lot of other stuff, even toys that he won't be playing with for years. She went on a baby shopping spree."
"Damn, lucky baby."
"Very lucky, baby." Stella shakes her head. "She ordered me a whole new living room set, a bedroom set, a dining room set, dishes, pots, and pans. I'm pretty much set on everything. My mom and Dave are lifesavers."
"Damn, let her pay your bills too." Shay joked as they walked into the kitchen.
"Umm.. no." Stella said it in a serious tone. "I already feel bad for everything she's doing for me. I want to be the one who pays my utilities and buys my groceries and other stuff that Ryan needs. I don't like depending on people."
"I know, I totally understand that." Shay looked around the kitchen. "This room needs a lot of work."
"Yup." Stella sighed. "My mom said to call your friends and ask them to help you; she said we would have this place done in no time." She shakes her head. "I told her Shay is the only friend I have; I don't have anyone else to call."
Shay gave her an apologetic look. "I don't understand why Gabby and Matt are acting the way they are. I know it has something to do with you being a mom and Gabby not being able to accept it. And I feel bad for her. She really wants to be a mom."
"I understand that, my heartbreaks for her."
"I think she just needs time; she'll come around. And so will Kelly."
Stella tilted her head. "I don't think Kelly will ever come around. Hell, the way he bolted out of the apartment that morning.
"Trust me, people will surprise you." Shay interrupted her. She was hoping that the little conversation they had earlier was a sign of him coming around.
Stella gave her a confused look. "What exactly?" she began, but stopped at a loud sound coming from outside. "What is that?"
"It sounds like a lawn mower." Shay said as she walked over to the window.
"Dave was supposed to hire someone when he got back."
"Oh my God, it's Kelly."
Stella's eyes widen. "Kelly?" She questioned confusedly. "Kelly who?"
Shay looked at her. "You know what Kelly, he is cutting the grass. He must have gotten his mom's lawn mower."
"Did you ask him to do it?" She was a little annoyed.
"No, I swear." Shay sighed. "He asked how you were, and we were talking about the house and stuff that needed to be done. He didn't say anything about coming over and cutting the grass. I would have warned you, Stella."
Stella rubbed her head aggressively. "Why would he just decide to come and mow my grass? He hates me."
"Because he doesn't hate you, he's hurt. You broke his heart, Stella, and he never recovered. You coming back wasn't something he was planning on; he's still processing it."
"I need a minute." She tells her before walking out the back door. She exhaled sharply; she wanted to talk to him; she wanted to see him again. She just wanted to mentally prepare herself first; she hated being blindsided. She took a few deep breaths.
"Stella I can ask him to leave." Shay said, walking out the backdoor. She hated the fact that Stella looked like she was going to pass out with Kelly being here.
Stella shook her head. "No, it's fine." She took a deep breath. "It's just my anxiety kicking in. I just need to calm myself down and take a few breaths. I'll be fine."
"Okay." She didn't know Stella had anxiety; she wonders what else she doesn't know.
"My therapist said I would have to face him one day. I guess she was right."
"Are you in therapy?"
"Yeah, well, I was in LA. I have to find a therapist here in Chicago."
"Foster might know one; she got me one. My therapist is awesome."
"You see a therapist?" She was surprised.
"Yeah, after my attack, everyone thought it would be a good idea. She's helped me a lot, not just with the attack, but being a paramedic can sometimes be overwhelming, stressful, and very traumatic. We witness things on a day-to-day basis that can mess with your mind. I think all paramedics and firefighters should see a therapist. It helps a lot; at least it helps me."
Stella bit her bottom lip nervously. "The one I had in LA was pretty good. She helped me come to terms with my attack and my other issues."
Shay was shocked. "Attack, you were attacked in LA?"
"It was about a year ago." She wipes her eyes. She can't have this conversation right now. She's not ready to tell anyone; just her mom knows, and she wants to keep it that way. "I should go; thank Kelly." She said it quickly and walked away.
Shay stood there, wondering what happened and why she changed the subject so fast. She walks back into the house, and she smirks at seeing Stella looking out the window. "You look like a pervert looking at his prey."
"Shut up, I do not." She stepped back from the window. "It's hot out there; he probably wants water."
"Okay, take him a bottle of water."
"You take him a bottle of water."
"You said you wanted to thank him for cutting your grass, so take him water and thank him."
"Can't you do it for me?" She asked, giving Shay a pleading look.
"Stella, I love you, but one of you has to make the first move. There's no harm in thanking the man and giving him water."
"But he hates me and
"Stop!" Shay exclaimed. "Girl, if that man hates you, do you really think he would be here cutting that ridiculously tall grass for you?"
Stella shrugs and runs her fingers through her hair. "It's just... Shay things are different now. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around him; we were best friends once, and now we don't even talk."
Shay's eyes widen when she notices that Kelly is standing in front of the screen door. "Hey Kelly!" She said it happily and looked anxious. She wasn't sure how this interaction was going to go.
Stella turned and saw Kelly; her face went red with embarrassment. She knew he heard their conversation. They stared at each other for a moment. "Shay, could you move your car so I could cut the grass by the driveway?"
"Of course." She walks toward the door. "Stella, don't you have something to say to Kelly?"
Stella glared at her, and Kelly looked back at Stella. She swallowed hard. "Umm..." She began looking down at the floor. Be an adult, Stella. Just be an adult. She looked up at him, his crystal blue eyes staring at her. "Umm... Thank you for mowing my grass; I really appreciate it."
"Your welcome." They stared at each other for a moment.
Stella notices the sweat dripping down his forehead. She watched it run down his face, down his neck, and onto his shirt. She stared at his chest. She used to love rubbing his chest, kissing it, and lying on it. He got a little more built and a lot sexier. "You're hot," she said suddenly. Her face turns a light shade of red. "I didn't." She had trouble getting her words out. "I didn't mean your hot, like hot hot; I meant you look hot." She closes her eyes. "Damnit. That's not what I mean either."
Kelly was smirking at her embarrassment. "She meant you look hot from all the work you were doing; would you like a bottle of water to cool off?" Shay says noticing Stella was having a hard time.
"Yes, I would love a bottle of water." Stella nods and walks away. Kelly watches her walk away. She did look skinny and a little different. But she was still his Stella. Her curly hair was tossed back in a ponytail. Her white tank top and ripped jeans had paint splatter on them. She had paint on her arms and elbows. He thought back to when they painted her bedroom when they were fourteen. They threw paint at each other; it got into her hair, and she was panicking about it. He couldn't calm her down; she kept yelling at him for getting the paint in her hair. So he kissed her to shut her up; it was their first kiss. A kiss that changed everything between them.
"Here you go." Her voice knocks him out of his memory.
"Thanks." He smiles as he takes the water from her. She smiles at him softly. Her smile was the same; it wasn't the big, bright memorizing one that he remembers, it was smaller, more tamed but still beautiful, and that makes his heart flutter.
As she stepped back, not wanting to be too close to him, she didn't trust herself when it came to him. His smile was still contagious, she loves his gorgeous smile as much as she does his eyes. God, she missed this man.
"So Kelly." Shay said after a few moments of silence. "We greatly appreciate you coming and helping, especially with that tall grass. I would have cut it myself, but you don't know exactly what's hiding in there. Snakes, rats, dead people's body parts."
"Body parts?" Stella said, giving her friend a what-the-hell look.
Shay shrugs. "Hey, anything is possible; this is Chicago."
Kelly laughed. "I'm pretty sure there are no body parts in your yard. Shay likes to exaggerate."
"Hey! I'm not exaggerating anything. I saw a documentary where...
"Please stop talking." Stella interrupted her in a begging tone.
"Fine, don't call me when you find an arm, a leg, or even a heart in your yard."
"Shay!" Stella exclaimed. "Quit trying to scare me and stress me out. I'm overwhelmed enough."
"The living room looks good." Kelly chimed in, hoping to change the subject.
Stella looked over at him, surprised that he was making small talk. "Yeah, I think I did a pretty good job." She tells him as she admires her work.
"You did way better than the last time you painted a room." He jokes.
She looks back at him as she remembers what he was talking about. "Hey! You started a paint war; that's why the walls looked horrible, and we had paint everywhere. My mom was furious with me. She was freaking out.
"You were freaking out too." He interrupted her. "Not like your mom, but the paint in your hair had you going into total meltdown mode."
She laughs and nods. "I was close to a breakdown, and then... She trailed off as she remembered their first kiss.
He watched her for a moment; her smile faded away, and he knew she was thinking about the kiss too.
Shay stood there, watching them. She had no idea what they were talking about, but she loved that they were talking; this was definitely the start of something good.
"Here Comes the Sun," Stella's mom said as she walked into the house. "Kelly?" She stopped as soon as she noticed him. "What are you doing here?" She asked as she looked at Stella, who was giving her a don't-start look.
"Kelly was nice enough to come over and cut the grass for Stella; wasn't that nice of him?" Shay spoke up.
Janet looked surprised. "That was very nice of you, Kelly; I bet Stella really appreciates it. Right honey."
"Right, mom, I do." She continued giving her mom a look. Knowing how obnoxious she could be when it comes to her and Kelly's relationship.
"Where's my son?" Stella asked, dawning on her, that Ryan wasn't with her mom.
"Relax; he is at the house with Dave's parents. His dad has the kids out swimming, and Ryan was so peacefully sleeping I didn't want to disturb him, so Julie said she would keep an eye on him while I stopped by to see how you were doing."
"Oh, well, at least those devil kids are allowing my son to get some sleep." She said sarcastically.
"They are not devils, their little angels who just don't know the word no yet. But I'm working on it." Janet tells her. "The living room looks good; at least one room is done."
"Mom I got this room done, Ryan's room, my room, the other bedroom and the hallway and both bathrooms done. "
"Really?"
"Yes, Stella has been busting her ass." Shay said, looking at Stella, who looked proud of what she'd accomplished.
"It really wasn't that much; I mean, once I got the furniture out of the way, painting was a breeze."
"I like the color of the living room; I do, honey, but tell me you didn't do the whole house in this color." Janet said, making a cringy face.
Stella rolled her eyes. "I loved the way the living room turned out, so I thought since it's my house." She said looking at her mom. "I would do it all in burgundy; I think it looks good."
"I do too." Shay added.
"So, the bathrooms, hallway, and bedrooms are this color? Hmm.. interesting."
"Yes, all but Ryan's room. I wanted to paint his room my favorite color.
"Purple?" Janet interrupted her. "Stella, honey, purple isn't a boy color."
"I think all colors are for all genders." Shay hated when people did that, like boys couldn't like purple or pink and girls shouldn't like blue and black. There's no certain gender for any color.
"Yes, I see your point, but my...
"Baby blue," Kelly said, interrupting Janet before she pissed Shay off.
"Baby blue, what?" Janet asked confusedly.
"Baby blue is Stella's favorite color." He looks at Stella, who looks surprised again.
"I never knew that; that makes more sense for a boy's room. Baby blue is the color of the sky. Is that why you love that color because it reminds you of the sky?"
Stella blushed. "No, baby blue is my favorite color because
"Because it's the color of my eyes." Kelly finished it for her. They locked eyes again."She used to love my blue eyes."
"I still do." She tells him honestly. Janet smiled and winked at Shay. Stella shook her head when she realized they were staring at each other a little too long. "Anyways, I'm going to do the dining room next, then all the easy rooms will be done. The kitchen is going to take so much work."
"Lots of work." Shay added.
Kelly looked between the two. "Why? What's wrong with the kitchen?"
"Five plus years of neglect." Stella tells him with a shrug. "See for yourself." She walks to the kitchen with Kelly behind her.
"The cabinets need replaced, the floor is cracked, the pipes under the sink are busted, the ceiling is ruined by the rain damage on the roof, and the countertops are rusted."
"Wow!" Kelly looked around the room.
"I don't know why she wouldn't let Dave call someone to remodel the whole kitchen."
"Because I wanted to repair the house myself, I'm actually enjoying it. I put up a new front door by myself and fixed the two bedroom doors. I can fix this stuff; it's just going to take some time."
"I can help." Kelly said giving her a hopeful look.
She looks over at him. "Really? You want to help me." She was shocked.
"Yeah, I do. It will get done faster if the three of us do it together."
"Yes!" Janet said it loudly. All eyes went to her. "I'm excited for you, sweetie. The more people who help you, the faster you get it done. Then you and Ryan can finally move in. I'm just so happy."
"Well, let me finish the grass first." Kelly said before walking out of the room.
"Mom, whatever you're thinking, stop it."
Janet smiled hugely. "He is still in love with you, Stella; he would be the perfect father for Ryan."
"Mom!"
"I agree; Kelly is father material."
"Shay don't agree with her."
"Stella, I'm just calling it like I see it. Yes, there is still a lot that needs to be talked about, and you both have some issues with each other. But the love between you two is still there." She kissed Stella's cheek. "There's a reason why you gave your son his middle name and why you had me go to the pawn shop and buy back your ring."
"I agree with all that too."
"Of course you would." Stella laughed.
"Like I told you, Stella, here comes the sun."
"What exactly does that mean?" Shay asked.
"It's a Beatles song, and with its bright and optimistic message, Here Comes the Sun remains a timeless classic and a beloved anthem of hope and renewal."
Stella pinched her nose and Shay gave Janet a confused look.
"You girls don't understand the meaning behind the song lyrics."
"I guess not." Shay looked at Stella, who looked as confused as she was.
Janet signed. "Here Comes the Sun is a song about hope. We all go through difficult times and difficult moments in our lives. And some of these moments feel like they last a long time, just like the long, cold, lonely winter. But eventually it does change; the winter does end.If you're going through a hard time in life, remember that the sun will come. That's what I've been telling Stella this past year: with everything she's been through, her sky won't stay gray forever, and her sun will come back someday. She just has to have faith."
"And I think she was right." Stella said, giving her mom a big smile. "I guess my sun was in Chicago; I just didn't realize it."
"Yes, your days are going to get brighter. Especially with Kelly around." She winks at her daughter.
"Bye mom." Stella says in a salty tone. "Your grandson is probably looking for you."
"Fine, I'll go." She hugged both girls. "Be good."
Shay laughed. "So basically, I'm your sun; you came back to Chicago for me, right?" She teased.
"Yes, I came back for you, just you." She agreed, laughing.
"And Kelly, of course." Shay added.
"I have work to do." She tells her, then walks away.
"Mhmm. I thought so." Shay teased as she followed her.
Meanwhile outside. "Kelly, the yard looks good. I haven't seen my mom's yard looking this good in years."
Kelly smiled. "It looks a lot better. Stella can get to her mailbox now."
"And plant some flowers by the porch, just like my mom did."
"Yeah, she used to make Stella, and I do that for her. She loved her tulips."
"That she did." She sighed. "Well, again, thank you for helping Stella; she's seemed a little down with the way everyone was treating her. Expect Shay."
"Yeah."
"Kelly, I know she hurt you.
"She destroyed me, Janet."He said cutting her off.
"She destroyed herself and the process too, Kelly. She broke her own heart when she broke yours; she didn't want to let you go. But she let people get into her head and thought it was for the best." She patted him on the shoulder. "I'm off to get a new tattoo."
"Another tattoo." He questioned her, even though he really wanted to know what she meant by letting people get into her head.
"Yep, I'm going to get my grandson's name tattooed on my arm."
"Oh, cool."
"Yep, I think I'm going to get his first and middle name, because if I just get Ryan, people are going to think it's strange to be tattooing my dead husband on my arm right before I get married to Dave, huh?"
Kelly laughed. "Yeah, in this town people talk, so they would definitely be talking about that."
"That's what I thought, so I'm going to get Ryan Kelly tattooed with a blue heart."
Kelly's eyes widened. "Ryan Kelly?"
"Yeah, that's his name; haven't you met Stella's son?"
He nods as he processes what she just said. "I knew his first name."
"Damn my big mouth."
"Is his dad okay with her naming their baby after her ex?"
"Kelly you are more than just her ex, and you know that, and two." She looked up at the house, making sure Stella wasn't around. "She doesn't know who the father is, and I think it's a good thing. Because if I knew who it was, I'd be sitting in jail facing murder charges."
Kelly was really confused. "What did...
"Kelly, you need to ask Stella your questions; she's going to be pissed that I told you that much. Any other questions she needs to answer? I'm sorry." She walks to her car without looking back.
Kelly watched Janet leave, his mind working overdrive. She named her son after him, and she gave her son the name they picked out for their son if they had a boy. And she doesn't know the father; that doesn't make sense, and what did this man do that would have Janet wanting to kill him? He needed answers now.
Stella was sitting on the kitchen floor, talking to Shay about the pipes. "The guy I called to come look at the pipes was supposed to be here two days ago."
"Wow! Call him back and demand he get his ass here."
"That's my plan...
"You gave your son the name we picked out for our son?" His voice broke through the conversation.
Stella was completely taken back my his question.
"He has my name; his middle name is Kelly. You gave your son my name; the son you share with another man has my middle name. Why? Why would you do that?" His voice cracks as he demands answers.
"Kelly, she...
"No, Shay I'm talking to Stella. I want her to tell me."
Shay looked over at Stella, who looked like she was about to cry. She could tell she wasn't prepared for this conversation.
"When I was pregnant, I wasn't sure if I was going to keep it."
"You wanted to give your baby up?" Kelly was shocked by that statement.
"Yeah, given the situation, I thought it was for the best."
"What situation?"
"One that is private and one that I'm not ready to talk about."
Shay looked up at Kelly, who looked down at her. She shook her head. Hoping he would let it go because obviously she didn't want to talk about it.And she didn't want to upset her.
"What made you keep him?"
"My mom came to town, and we went to my doctor's appointment. I found out it was a boy. And I thought about you and the conversation we had about kids; my mom convinced me that I was strong enough to be a mom, regardless of how he was conceived." She started crying but refused to look up at Kelly. "As time went on, I started to connect with him and became more comfortable with the idea of being a single mom."
"But why the name?"
She ran her fingers through her hair. "I wanted to name him after two of the most important people in my life—two guys that meant the world to me, two guys that I lost because of my dumb decisions."
"Stella, it's not your fault; your dad died in a car accident."
"Yes it is, because I ran away from home and he was out looking for me. If I had just stayed home, he would still be here."
Shay went over to her and hugged her. "No, you're wrong. The thing is, when your number is up, it's up. There is no pussyfooting around it. As horrible as it sounds, your dad's number was up, and it was time for him to go. God had other plans for him. You need to quit blaming yourself. It's been eighteen years, Stella; you were just being a normal ten-year-old brat. Who thought running away was the answer? If anyone's to blame, it's the drunk driver who killed him. Not you." Shay kissed her forehead. "And you didn't lose Kelly; he's right here." Shay looks at Kelly, begging him with her eyes to say something.
He doesn't say anything; he just stands there, watching the two hug.He wasn't sure what to say.
"In the hospital after I had him, I sat there crying, and I thought about you and my dad. I thought about his future and the kind of man I want him to grow up to be. You and my dad were always two men that I looked up to and that I admired. You guys are strong, quick-witted, adventurous, hardworking, reliable, honest, and trustworthy. And so much more, so I wanted to give him a strong name and hope that somehow he grows up to be like you guys." She looks up at him; she can tell he's battling himself with something; she can still read him a little.
"Look, umm.. I'm supposed to meet Foster for lunch, but...
"Go, have lunch with your girlfriend. I'm good." Stella tells her, squeezing her hand.
Shay looks at Kelly, then back at Stella. "Is it okay to leave you two alone?"
Stella looks at Kelly, who is still looking at her. "I'm okay with it."
"I am too." He added. "I need to cut the back yard anyway."
Shay stood up and helped Stella up. "Okay, I'm going to leave you two alone. Please don't kill each other."
"Quit being dramatic." Kelly tells her. He wasn't fully sure about being left alone with her. Hell, he was fighting back the urge to pull her into his arms when she started crying; he always hated to see her cry.
"Okay, you guys, be on your best behavior."
"Yes, mom." Stella teased.
She blew them a kiss and said, "I'll be back in an hour or so."
"She is something else." Stella laughed.
"Yes, she is."
"Kelly, be honest with me, please." She watches his face closely. "I know my mom said something to you about me; what did she say?"
He put his hands in his pocket. "She did. I have a few questions, but you don't have to answer them."
Stella exhaled sharply. "I want to be honest with you, so ask me anything."
Kelly wasn't expecting this. "Well, the question I really want answered is a simple one. Why him, not me?"
"Excuse me? Him who?" She wasn't sure what he was asking.
"You didn't want to have a baby with me, a man you claimed to love, but you did with another man, and you gave the baby the name we picked out together. Why him? I deserve to know."
"Kelly, it's not what you think..." She trailed off. Trying to find the words but came up empty. "I can't answer that question; ask me anything else."
Her eyes were pleading with him to move on, but his pride wouldn't let him. He really needed to know why. "Did you love Ryan's father more than you loved me?" He knows that Janet said Stella didn't know the father, so he decided to see her reaction. "Was it a one-night stand?"
She closed her eyes. She can't believe he is making her answer. She knows he's hurt that she chose to have another man's baby. "I..." she began. Her therapist told her. She needed to start talking and let people in so she could truly let go and start the healing process. "I'm sorry Kelly, I want to tell you but I'm not ready for that conversation yet. But I can tell you, that you are the only one I ever loved. No one came close to you, and Ryan was an unexpected pregnancy, definitely not planned or wanted. I know that sounds awful. But it's the truth. His father is not or ever will be in his life. "
He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but he could also see the worry and fear in her eyes. "I understand that."
She was relieved she didn't want to think about Ryan's father. Maybe one day she would be strong enough to tell him but today was not the day. "Just give me some time Kelly, and I promise when I'm ready to talk, you will be the first one I talk to."
"I can respect that." He smiles. "So can I ask you another question I've been wondering about."
She nods. "Yeah, of course." She bits her bottom lip as she waits for the question.
"Why did you ghost everyone for two years, especially Shay? Where were you?"
