Chuck vs. The Courtyard Bench
Well, in the previous chapter: Molly Walker finds herself interacting with Casey and then Ellie along with her husband Devon. After meeting Captain Awesome she boldly asks him for a favor, which is to ask awesome to her Junior High Prom. Devon sort of accepts after getting ribbed by Ellie and Casey. Afterwards, she would also encounter with Emmitt Milbarge. Unfortunate, it would turn out embarrassingly bad for Emmitt. Once Vivian and Hartley arrive Molly would put together an impromptu plan to help her big sister Sarah keep her separated from her future brother-in-law. The plan as she puts is called Operation V Block, which has been working so far. So what's in store for this chapter? Who is this week's Rockstar Rebel? What type of disease does the child have and is there a cure? Why does Chuck like her taste in shoes? How is a cowbell involved that helps get Chuck out an awkward situation? When does Hartley make his presence known in order surprise everyone including Chuck? Read and find out! Anyways, hope you enjoy the read and leave a comment to share your own thoughts on this particular chapters. As always, reviews are awesome.
Again, if you enjoyed reading my stories and left a comment I truly appreciate it. Please continue to do so as it gives me the incentive to write more chapters.
I don't own Chuck.
Rockstar Rebel
XXX
Bash at the Bench would start off normally with Chuck riling up the crowd with his usual energized intro. The crowd itself most definitely anticipated a fun filled Friday where anything and everything totally unexpected may very well go down. Little did they know the final performance of the Live YouTube show is considered to be a complete unknown since Jeff and Lester have kept their song choice completely under wraps. Essentially, it has Chuck along with Sarah considerably worried and not to mention extremely on edge since the show began, especially the nerd whose hair makes weird animal shapes. However, nobody has really seen any sign of worry or being on edge, evident by how incredibly loose he is as he listed off announcements, did a run-down of the previous show, and a few minutes of exchanged banter with the crowd.
Afterwards, he then proceeds to warm up, and loosen the crowd up, the best way he knows how with a little sing along. "All right everybody..." began Chuck addressing the crowd. He then lifts both hands above his head and start clipping while still holding the mic in his right hand "...sing along if you know the words! Hit it Fuzzball!" Instantly, the instrumental being played causes an immediate stir as it's from the movie Aladdin and the song...Friend Like Me.
Well...
Ali Baba, he had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But, master, you're in luck because up your sleeves
You got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now
Heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch (pizazz, yahoo) and how?
All you gotta do is rub that lamp
And then I'll say
Mister, Aladdin sir
what will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, I'll jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
Life is your restaurant
And I'm your maitre D
Come, whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me
Yes sir
We pride ourselves on service
You the boss, the king, the shah!
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish
How about a little more baklava?
Have some of column A
Try all of column B
I'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
It's during the small break in the song that Chuck starts dancing much to everyone's delight, especially the kids. He backs up towards the blue bench and hops on it, then slides from side to side to where he reaches behind with his right hand gripping the top part of the bench. He then twists and vaults over behind the bench like an Olympic gymnast finishing up the pommel horse. After dismounting the "pommel horse", Chuck does a Jim Carrey ala The Mask and leans to the right towards the kids who are already exited enough as it is, but lose their minds when Chuck makes his way to them. Morgan, behind the camera following him quite literally every step of the way.
As this is happening, Sarah along with Emma, Molly, Vivian, and Hartley watch in absolute amazement the magic of what is happening all around them. The magic of what Chuck is doing right now after all that's happened in the past 2 days. Ellie and Devon on the other hand are simply watching, as well as listening with pride, their daughter giggling as she watches with excitement her goody, nerdy uncle dance, as well as sing away. Casey, on the other hand, is too preoccupied with how many people are in the courtyard along with the those situated out on the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th floor windows/terraces. He would keep in contact with his team via ear wig and wrist communication device in order to keep a look out for any injuries that may occur, which in all likelihood is a possibility in his head of security mindset.
Meanwhile, Chuck finally reaches the kids then does a full-on dead stop in a very comedic way. The host of Nerdy Nerfherder and Fuzzball crouches a bit and smiles while pointing to all them with both fingers encourage them along with the nurses that are with them including Alex with her mother Kathleen standing beside her to dance as well when it comes to the next set of lyrics.
Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out they little hat?
Can your friends go-
Poooooooof?
Well, looky here
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make the sucker disappear?
Don't sit there buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for your charge d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what's your wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
All you gotta do is rub like so
Mister Aladdin, sir,
have a wish or two or three
Well, I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, you ain't
Never had a friend, never had a friend
At this point, Chuck ends up on the bench once again and dances looking visibly out of breath, Yet, he keeps going because that's the type of showman he is, much to the delight of everyone watching including Sarah. A goofy grin on her face as she watches her nerd do his thing. However, it would quickly fade as she notices from her peripheral vision Vivian glancing her way. Her focus is locked on Chuck as he goes for the grand finale of his singing performance that involves the crowd as well by pointing the mic all around after each ending of the following 4 lyrics.
You ain't never (never!)
Had a (had a)
Friend (friend)
Like (like)
"ALTOGETHER NOW!" screamed Chuck returning to the blue bench. "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! You ain't never had a friend like me!" he finished jumping on the blue bench once again. He faces everyone with arms wide open, smiling and completely out of breath.
The ending leads to thunderous applause for an awesome performance by Chuck who at this point in now sitting on top of the backrest of the blue bench. While he's recovering, sweaty, and completely out breath he waves out to a completely unhinged crowd. They truly expected something awesome. What they witnessed instead leaves everybody monumentally flabbergasted, but not enough for the applause to die down. It keeps going until Chuck has to stand up to humbly accept, then attempt to calm the overly hyped crowd he had incited in a tremendously positive way.
XXX
A short break was needed as Chuck recuperated from his singing workout. After wiping away the sweat with a small towel, receiving a bottle of water and taking a much needed drink from the elixir of life, the nerdy host would take a deep breath as he looks around then into the camera with a lopsided smile. "Well, that was fun!" he said into the mic he's holding.
This time a much more subdued round of applause with cheers, screams and a few whistles sounding off happens. He takes another swig of his bottle of water as he finds himself standing in front of the blue bench once again. Afterwards, he briefly turns around in order to place the bottle of water on the bench then turns around to face the camera.
"Okay, this week's Rockstar Rebel Morgan and I have chosen is someone special. She's been diagnosed with Stage IV Thyroid cancer and from what I understand there's metastasis forming in her lungs. Yet, she not letting it stop her from living her life. She's a remarkable 15 year old young girl and not to mention she has awesome taste in choice of sneakers. You'll know why in a second." grinned the youngest Bartowski sibling. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me introduce you all to Cherice Baxter." he announced. Chuck then claps leading everyone else to clap as well in the courtyard.
It's not long before Cherice Baxter steps into camera view and the claps/applause grow louder leading Chuck to take a step back out of camera view. He lets Cherice take center stage and have her moment as being crowned Rockstar Rebel. Her hair is shoulder length that's dark brown and has green eyes with chubby cheeks resembling a chipmunk. The teal dress she's wearing is knee length with horizontal dark blue and black stripes. Yet, what is most distinguishable is the fact she is breathing via a nasal cannula leading to a rolling oxygen tank. After the applause subsides, Chuck steps back into camera view and the first thing he does, is point to her shoes. Light blue Converse Chuck Taylor shoes to be exact. He then poses his shoes next to Cherice's in a dorky model, Charlie's Angel's kind of way.
"Love your shoes." nodded Chuck.
"Ditto." laughed Cherice. "I still can't believe you chose me to be this week's Rockstar Rebel." she added shaking her head in disbelief.
"Believe it." retorted the nerdy host. He then motions for her to sit down on the blue bench. Once she does, he takes a seat, but not before moving the bottle of the water to the side. After Chuck sees that Cherice gets herself seated and comfortable enough, he continues on. "So, tell me about yourself?"
"I'm 15 years old as you said earlier. I go to school at Whitney High. Go Wildcats!" she happily cheered.
"You a cheerleader?" Chuck wondered.
Cherice shakes her head. "No, but I used to dance. Ballet." she shared, shrugging her shoulders a bit. "I had to stop 2 years ago because I had trouble breathing. I thought I developed asthma or I was just pushing myself too hard. It got worse."
"So, you went to the doctor and got the news."
"Yeah. It was tough on my parents?" she shared taking a moment to glance behind her. "I've been getting steroid treatments here, but there's no known drug that exists for what I have." she says half-heartedly shrugging. Disappointing in the tone of her voice.
This leads to Chuck looking over to see Cherice's parent standing several feet back. They politely wave to Chuck who reciprocates one back. Afterwards, he motions for her parents to come over, which they do standing right behind her. Beforehand, the nerdy business owner of Kessel Run Technologies stood before they arrived. Once they did, he reaches to shake both their hands.
"Mr. and Mrs. Baxter. Awesome to meet you both. I'm sure you're very proud of your remarkable daughter here." he smiled sitting back down on the blue bench.
"Yes, we are." Mr. Baxter responded, visibly nervous. "She's had her good days and bad days. It's her bad days that are difficult to deal with. You watch your baby girl go through this and..." the father shared clearly emotional in his tone of voice. "...and as parent...her father...you just want to take her pain away." he added getting choked up.
The impact of those words hit hard for those who are parents in the crowd. More importantly, it hits hard for Emma, Hartley, Devon and Ellie who pull their kids a bit closer, giving hugs, as well as give a loving kiss. Alex tries to locate her father in order to make eye contact with him at least but doesn't find him standing where Chief Walker is. Suddenly, she feels a hand on her right shoulder causing her to be a bit startled but soon is comforted knowing both her father and mother are right there beside her. All 3 continue to watch and listen when Mrs. Baxter speaks up.
"Thank you for choosing Cherice. When she found out you picked her, she didn't know what to wear." she stated composing herself the best she can.
"Mom!" Cherice bellowed out considerably embarrassed. She rolled her eyes briefly after saying that.
A sight that is quite humorous for Chuck, causing him to express a faint chuckle. He then continues on. "Well, your outfit looks..." Chuck stops to quirk his right brow trying to figure out the right word. He then turns to the crowd. "What do you guys think about her outfit?"
It's at that point, a slew of suggestions are yelled, screamed, and hollered out, seemingly into one collective word. A word that Chuck makes up by putting them all together, "Stunninglyuperspendiforousawesomelystylinlyfetch." he grinned pointing at Cherice. "No say that ten times fast. I wouldn't recommend though." he jokingly remarked shaking his head.
"You're funny, Chuck."
Upon saying that, Chuck stands up and turns his attention to the person located near the camera area. "See El! You hear that! She..." Chuck points at Cherice. "...thinks I'm funny." he yelled out to her.
"She's a teenager! Teenagers find anybody funny, little brother!" she yelled back. A response that actually gets an amused grunt from Casey but unfortunately Chuck doesn't hear it. Why? The crowd expressing laughter after the experienced neurologist answered her younger brother. "Clara finds you hilarious and your niece is 6 years old!" she added ribbing Chuck. It's that comment that warrants laughter from Devon, Vivian and Hartley.
In that instance, Molly yells out giving her 2 cents into the mix. "Don't listen to her Chuck! Cherice is right! Teenagers stick together!" The 13 year old pats her chest and points to a fellow teenager and somewhat of a kindred spirit to her.
"Thanks Molly!"
"I got your back!" she hollered back. Sarah and Emma shaking their heads with a bit of amusement on their part.
The momentary break in levity leads Chuck to return his attention to Cherice. He's silent for a moment as he lets her set the pace of her interview instead of the other way around. The reason being is that she is considerably older than Camden Willard who is 7, and quite shy at that particular age, so he had to set the pace of his interview. While sitting there next to her, he can tell that Cherice is a well spoken and most definitely a intelligent young woman who may very be intellectual as well.
"I'm thinking..." Chuck pauses then keeps going. "...you like to read." he added pointing to her. "Got any favorite books?"
"The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns by John Green." she answered. "Plus, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky." Cherice added.
"That's some angsty reading there."
"I am a teenager. Sue me."
"You got me there." chuckled the nerdy host. "So, are you dating anyone? I am not asking personally because that would be wrong." he emphasized looking at everybody in the crowd. "Any interested prospects? Is he here? Is that him?" he said pointing behind her. He acts like he's getting up and does the whole pointing at his eyes and point at someone schtick.
Cherice immediately waves both hands in front of her. "No! No...No. He's not here. He doesn't actually exist right now." she responded slightly embarrassed. The 15 year old ducking her head and brushing a few strands of hair behind her right ear.
"He'll show up when you least expect it."
"Nah huh."
"Yes huh." he responded back channeling his inner teenager.
"I hope he shows up soon. I really want to go to my Freshman High Dance." she said with hopeful optimism is her voice.
"Me too. I still think it's that guy." Chuck once again jokingly remarked. He points behind her then to his own eyes mouthing the words "I'm watching you" in a serious but not so serious expression.
In that moment, Cherice laughs again making her feel better concerning her lack of a male significant other her age. Afterwards, she does something that completely blindsides Chuck. "So, what about you Chuck?"
"What about me?"
"Word is, you and Chief Walker like each other." she stated raising both eyebrows. Afterwards, she crosses her arms knowing full well she flipped the script on him. Once she says that, Chuck eyes go completely wide along with Sarah's as well after she hears what Cherice just uttered.
XXX
Chuck is wide eyed having a deer in headlights look, not having any idea how to respond in that very moment. It didn't help matters any that the crowd started oohing, aahing, wooing after Cherice said that throwing Chuck completely off his rhythm. As for Sarah, she is put on the spot as well leading her to notice Morgan looking back at her. In that instance, she instantly shoots her Wildcard Enforcer look towards him telling him to not point the camera her way or he'll die a horrible, horrible death. This leads Morgan to quickly turn forward focusing the camera on Chuck. Speaking of Chuck, he's still left speechless with his mouth agape. The courtyard itself seemingly silent waiting for his answer.
Fortunately for him, he would quite literally be saved by the bell, or in this particular case by a cowbell to be exact. The location of the cowbell is on stage where a small child somehow got on it and played with said instrument. The child's parent would soon scoop the little boy up into her arms and disappear out of sight giving the nerdy host that much needed window of distraction to get up and quickly improvise a response. A response that he thinks is absolutely perfect in that moment right now.
He stands there shrugging his shoulders with a smirk on his face. "I guess..." paused Chuck. "...more cowbell was needed for this segment." he added, doing his version of Christopher Walken. "Guess what...this Live YouTube show has got a fever." While standing there, he knows the momentary distraction and quick thinking has suddenly turned the tide in his favor, evident by the crowd hanging on his move and word when it comes to his favorite SNL reference skits of all time. "The only prescription is more cowbell!" he bellowed out. He then jumps on stage in order to retrieve said cowbell and drum stick. Before he jumps off stage, he gives a shout to Morgan. "Blue Oyster Cult...Fuzzball!"
"Don't Fear the Reaper!" You got it Nerdy Nerfherder!" calls out Morgan pulling it on the laptop.
Once the song hits, Chuck starts channeling his inner Will Ferrell and does the same movement but more overly exaggerated in the SNL skit. So overly exaggerated people in the courtyard are busting out laughing, especially Sarah. She would inevitably lock eyes with Chuck, who simply smirks at her as he goes around hitting the cowbell and acting a complete fool. In any case, after the song is over and the crowd has calmed down after a getting more cowbell that they never really new they wanted on Friday, Chuck refocuses his attention back to Cherice. He immediately takes over the interview in order to avoid another awkwardly uncomfortable situation.
"So, listen..." began Chuck. He reaches down to take a quick swig of his bottle of water. "...normally I would sing a song dedicated to you at the end of the show. However, that's not the case as you'll see. Plus, after you mentioned you danced, it's actually pure coincidence in the song choice I picked just for you. Here goes and hope you like it. Oh..." he added turning his attention to the crowd. "...let's turn this courtyard into a Freshman high school dance. So, if you're with your significant other...El and Devon...shoulder length apart." he joked again, pointing at the married couple. "I kid. I kid." he waved off. "Morg! Hit it!"
The energy of the first 2 song that were performed brought up causing the crowd to become unhinged. Now, when it comes to the song instrumental being played it has more of a calm, soothing feeling to it, which slows down the atmosphere within the courtyard as Chuck begins to sing to Cherice. Before he does, he gives the song title. "I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack. This version is sung by Ronan Keating and now sung by me to you." he softly smiled towards her.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
After singing those first lyrics, he extends his hand to Cherice asking her for a dance. A gesture that she at first shakes her head at but agrees to after the encouragement of her mother who at this point is shedding tears along with her husband. The 15 year old gets up and shyly takes Chuck right hand with her left and begins to dance with him as she holds her oxygen tank. However, it's apparent that it's getting in the way so she makes the decision to remove her nasal cannula and hand it to her parents who wheel it back letting her dance with Chuck. It's a moment that everyone in the courtyard is touched by to the point where phones are out in order to record the special dance between Cherice and Chuck. A moment that Sarah can't help but be emotional about.
Of course, it's not just her as Emma, Molly, Alex, Devon, Ellie, Vivian, and Hartley and even Morgan get highly emotional watching what is unfolding before their very eyes. This would lead to Emma dancing with Molly with Sarah by her side embracing her little sister, Devon dancing with Clara, Vivian dancing with her father and most surprising dance of all. Casey dancing with his daughter Alex with Kathleen watching them dance. Tears in her eyes.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Once the second verse is over, he steps back in order to motion over to her father to dance with his daughter. Now, the moment has become overwhelmingly emotional for everyone, including Chuck, as father and daughter are now dancing together. Afterwards, with tears in his eyes he continuing to sing.
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
When the song ends, there not a dry eye in the courtyard and possibly inside Westside Medical Center for that matter. Chuck takes a brief bow but would quickly step aside in order to give Cherice, her dad, and her mom who joins them the spotlight. The crowd applauds the strength and resiliency of the 15 year old young girl as Chuck returns into camera frame wiping away his own tears. He then gives not only Cherice a hug but her parents a hug as well leading to a moment everybody in the courtyard and the people tuning live on YouTube will never forget as long as they live.
XXX
"Bartowski Brigade..." he said taking in a deep breath. Afterwards, he shakes his head while standing next to Cherice and her parents. "...this has been an awesome day so far and it's not even over yet." His attention on the crowd is then turned to the 15 year and her parent. "It's been an honor talking with you and getting to know you. Hope we can keep in touch." Chuck added with a soft smile.
"For real!?" Cherice responded with surprised disbelief.
"For real. I still keep in touch with Camden Willard and other past Rockstar Rebels. " faintly chuckled Chuck. "When this is over, we'll exchange phone numbers and social media tags if it's okay with your parents."
Mr. and Mrs. Baxter look at Cherice then turn to each other. Afterwards, they turn their attention to Chuck who they give their answer to. "Fine with us." they happily shared.
Chuck is about to end, exchange well wishes, and part ways when all of a sudden Hartley walks into camera with Vivian following right behind him. It's quite a surprise not just for Chuck, but for Sarah and Molly as well. The 13 year old is unable to do anything knowing that only Vivian's father is the only thing standing between him and her big sister rival.
"Charles, if I may." he asked. Chuck nods a bit confused on what is going on right now. Yet, he lets his family friend have the quintessential floor. "My name is Hartley Winterbottom and this is my daughter Vivian."
"It's a pleasure." she greeted with a quick wave.
"We heard your story and it touched us very deeply. Myself most of all. Your story of bravery and determination facing tremendous adversity. " He directs his question to Mr. Baxter looking straight at him. "Can I ask a question?
"Sure." Mr. Baxter replied wondering what's going on.
"Have the treatments and hospital visits been expensive?" Hartley inquired.
Mr. Baxter is momentary silent as if he's hesitant to say anything. It would lead Mrs. Baxter to chime in. "It's been difficult for us financially, but we've managed to make it." she shared somewhat embarrassed.
Instantly, Chuck chimes in. "Which is why I end the show by encouraging viewers to give donations to the account set up specifically for them. All proceeds that they've happily donated, just by their sheer generosity of their hearts, goes towards expenses to help kids like Cherice. Expenses like medical treatments and hospital visits to relieve some of the financial burden for The Baxters." he eloquently explained.
"It's a wonderful set up, Father."
"How much was raised for the last child?"
"For Camden..." Chuck pauses to retrieve his phone. After scrolling through and finding the notes app on his iPhone he clicks on it. "...$5,798.22. It was a big help for his family." he freely shared. "The funds were already transferred to their account this past Monday."
Hartley smiles and then speaks up. "I think we can do better." His attention from The Baxters and Chuck is directed to the camera." He briefly turns to Chuck who motions for him to go right ahead as he stands next to Vivian. She reaches up with her left hand in order to rub the side of his arm. In doing so, they exchange smiles causing Molly and Sarah to react, as they express faint grunts that are clearly heard by Emma. In any case, they along with Devon and Ellie keep watching as Hartley continues on. "My name is Hartley Winterbottom and I run a law firm here in the greater Los Angeles area. I'm an old family friend of Charles Bartowski or, as you know him Chuck or The Nerdy Nerfherder." he chuckled a bit shaking his head. He pauses then keeps going. "The name of my law firm is of no consequence right now as it's not the focus. The focus is on this courageous young lady and her parents who I consider fine examples of impeccably supportive strength during this stressful time of her life. So, I'm here to issue a challenge. Whatever you people out there donate, I'll match."
The sudden announcement of Hartley's generosity by matching whatever sum is donated completely floors everybody, especially Chuck. Loud cheers and applause mixed in with the sound of whistles are expressed by those in the courtyard and within the hospital via the terraces/windows. For Ellie's nerdy younger brother. he didn't have any idea this would happen evident by a look of amazed disbelief on his face as he steps forward to speak to the camera itself. "Like I always say Bartowski Brigade, expect the unexpected on this show and when things go unplanned, it becomes a plan that turns out awesome." he said point to the screen. "Donate! You've been challenged. Are you going to accept?" smiled Chuck as the link to where to donate appears on screen. "Up next is a performance that you won't soon forget. I know I won't. Stay tuned." he said turning around.
Chuck's words are most definitely an ominous precursor of what potentially might be coming to an end or a new beginning. That would wait for the time being as Chuck heads back in order to celebrate with Cherice and her parents along with Hartley and Vivian. They are swarmed with hugs by the Baxter family and would inevitably be joined by Ellie, Devon, Casey, Alex, Emma, Sarah and Molly who immediately talks to a potentially new friend and fellow teenager. Once it's over, the final performance would begin and they would be introduced as one name: Jeffster.
XXX
NOTE: I told you may need some tissues reading this chapter. I got a bit emotional writing it. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and leave a comment. Share your thoughts on what you think of the show before the final performance involving Jeffster. As always, a tip of the hat to NEVR for being my beta and keeping what I've written grammatically correct as possible.
