(Paul)
"I-I'm sorry, I-uh, I-I'll leave." Tears fell down her cheeks in fat gobs as she turned and ran out, Jacob called after her and Emily immediately followed her, shooting me a pissed off glare. Sam still held my fist back, my other fist clenched Jacobs caller, stopping him from going after her. I tried to ignore the emotion that seeing her cry made me feel deep down. Godamn it!
"Goddamn it Paul!" Someone yelled.
I was too focused on Jacob now, he grasped my wrist and raised his own to slam it into my face. Bring it on.
"Enough!" Sam pushed himself between us. "Stand down, now." Using his authority as alpha, we both lowered our fists and stepped back, unable to challenge the order.
He turned to Jacob.
"You know you have no right to her, she's not your imprint."
"I don't care, I love her, and he doesn't, end of story."
A growl ripped through my throat, a knee jerk reaction of jealousy deep in my gut. She's mine! Damn it, I wanted to sock myself, I didn't even want her. A goddamn necrophiliac!
"It doesn't matter- he will." Sam said, matter-of-fact-ly.
"The hell I will!" I growled.
Jacob stepped forward the same as I did, both of us ready to beat the other to a pulp but Sam pushed hard against our chests with his hands, keeping us separated.
"You're not going to challenge this, Jacob!" Sam commanded. "You know what it'll mean if you do?!"
"A fight to the death." He answered, glaring into my eyes. "I'm willing to fight for her, he's not."
"Wanna bet?"
"No! I refuse to accept your challenge, Jacob!" Sam interjected. "I'm not letting any member of this pack kill their own brother. Not over an imprint that's not even his."
"Now, shut up, go home and cool off before your patrol duty." Sam ordered Jacob. He turned his head towards me. "You and I need to have a long talk, Paul."
Sam lowered his arms and Jacob turned on his heel and stalked off, not able to disobey a direct order. Sam jerked his head towards the back door in a gesture for me to follow him out. Emily had come back inside and had returned to the kitchen, still glaring at me as we walked past. I knew I was going to get an ear full from her later, she was only a few years older than me and she had an irritating way of fussing over me like an older sister, more than any other member of the pack. It annoyed me to no end at first, but before long I had found myself actually bonding with her, and even confiding in her more than I ever had anyone else. I hated having Emily angry at me.
I followed Sam out into his backyard, meticulously cared for and surrounded by the garden Emily took pride in. The scent of honeysuckle and lavender clung to the outside air, it smells just like Bella. I turned my head to the side in anger, willing the thought to go to hell. Sam sat down on one of the white iron garden benches and motioned for me to sit on the other one. Hesitantly, I obeyed.
"Jacob was right about one thing, Paul. She does have the right to know."
"The hell she does."
"She does, Paul. Keeping her at arm's length, ignoring her, it's not going to just make it go away."
"Sure it will."
"It won't, and you know it won't. You've already seen my experience of it in the hive mind."
"You and Emily were different."
"Are you really so sure? You don't even know the girl yet."
"I know she's a bloodsucker groupie. That's all I need to know."
"How can you be so sure, when you won't even give her a chance to show you differently? People do change, Paul."
"Not over this they don't."
Sam sighed in frustration. "I think there's more to her than that. Jacob-"
"Fuck Jacob."
"Jacob seems to know her very well, every thought he has of her-"
"I don't want to hear about his fucking thoughts about her."
"My point is, that the more time passes the more you're both going to suffer. And the more she suffers, the more you'll suffer."
"I don't care, I can break this stupid fucking hold she has on me-"
"Really? And how well did that work out for me? For Jared? You can't fight this Paul, you're only going to make this worse. For both of you. And lest you forget, you have a hold on her too, now."
"Why do you even care so much Sam?"
"Because two members of my pack are trying to kill each other over it, because one of them is trying to break one of our most sacred laws. And because I happen to like the girl."
"What-?!"
"I do. I've seen plenty of her in Jacob's mind, and I know you have, too."
"All I've seen is her yearning for her damn leech. Chick doesn't even handle rejection well."
"And how would you know? Have you sat down and talked to her?"
Angry, I lowered my gaze.
"Ah, I thought so. You're judging her and you haven't even bothered trying to introduce yourself, before making an absolute fool of yourself, by the way."
I kept my gaze lowered, and fought the anger that rolled off of me in waves. Damn it, he's right.
"You want to know what I think? As your alpha?" Sam asked, but didn't wait for me to respond. "I think you're afraid. I think you're afraid of everything she makes you feel, as strong as it is with her being just a complete stranger, that when you do finally give in-and you will give in eventually, Paul- that you're going to be completely and fundamentally changed. I think that terrifies you."
"I- no, you're wrong!"
"Am I, Paul? I know about the extra patrols you've been pulling around her house since that day, did you really think no one would notice?"
I growled, no one was supposed to know about that. I hadn't meant to, the first time, anyway. But I had been drawn there, by a force I couldn't fight no matter how hard I tried. Over the past week I had begun trading out patrols with other people, to free up more time at night, though I had made every excuse in the book when I did. I barely even took time to sleep anymore, between work, pack duties and then patrolling the woman's house in my spare time. It was stupid, but I couldn't settle the wolf in me down, not after she had almost been killed by that leech that day in the meadow. It would serve her right, I kept telling myself, and every time I felt a giant stabbing in my heart at the thought.
But that pain paled to the pain I felt radiating from her, in giant waves. It hurt me to no end that she actually pained for a corpse. Deep down, it offended me. Her hurt, her loneliness, her terror, her sorrow, I couldn't fathom every emotion she felt for Dracula, but it angered me that she felt it. As insane as it was, part of me was even angry at him, for dumping her and leaving her this heartbroken. Sam was right, she made me feel things I didn't even know I was capable of feeling, and she was nothing but a stranger. If this was how I felt now, I couldn't even comprehend how I'd feel if I actually took the time to get to know her.
"That's different, that mosquito almost killed her, I was just being thorough."
"Thorough? When the mosquito was already squashed?"
I thought back to that day, of us chasing down the cold one and ripping her to shreds and burning her. I remembered the pungent smell of the fire, and the dark black of the flames as she burned.
"It's not like she was the only member of the undead in existence, more could have come after her-" I stood up. "They clearly had some sort of history-"
"So you do care?" Sam asked, a sly smile forming around his lips, self satisfaction radiated off of him.
"I- she's still human." I offered weakly.
"I'm not trying to dissuade you from protecting your imprint, Paul. In fact, I'm trying to do the opposite. You're right to be cautious, there's still a lot we don't know about the vampire we killed, more of her kind can show up at any moment, and Bella does have a history with them." Sam stood up, himself. "And I don't want you running yourself ragged over this. I'll change some of your patrols to cover Bella's house, and I'll make sure the rest cover her house too on their routes. She'll be protected, Paul."
"I- thank's, Sam."
"And Paul? Try to actually give her a chance, before you both end up hurt."
I stalked back into the house and the kitchen, where the others were scarfing down their breakfast and pretending like they weren't eavesdropping. I snarled and stalked toward the counter that held all the food and Emily handed me an already prepared plate and a mug of coffee. I took them gratefully and thanked her, trying to swallow my guilt when I saw the still-definitely-pissed-off look she gave me. I took a seat at the table and began to eat before I was due for my shift at the construction site. I ignored the banter while I ate, and fumed about the conversation I'd had with Sam.
Lost in thought, I thought back to the first conversation I'd had with Sam about the damn imprint, demanding to know how to undo it. I had hoped maybe there was an elaborate ritual of some sort or something, anything, but he'd told me that he already scoured every find-able scrap of our history on the subject when it had happened to him and Emily.
I wasn't sure what bothered me more now, the fact that I could feel how emotionally devastated Bella felt, or the fact that I had been the one who made her feel that way. I could feel every crack in her broken heart, I could feel the absolute terror that hid in every single one, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out what made her feel so afraid, constantly, every day. Was she afraid that he'll never come back? That thought only served to piss me off more.
Then there was the abandonment she had felt from Jacob Black. That pissed me off just as much, possibly a little more since I could see his every thought in the hive mind. There was simply no way to escape his feelings for her, or how devastated he'd been when Sam had ordered him to not say a word about it to Bella, and then I had demanded as her imprint that he stay away from her. Normally, that would be final, he shouldn't have been able to get anywhere near her, the fact that he had managed to ignore me was proof of his feelings for her. When the coward had finally phased this morning, I saw everything that had happened in his memories, the way he held her, her eyes filled with love every time she looked at him. It made me sick to my stomach. I pushed the plate away and stood up to leave, having had my fill of people for the morning.
I didn't care what Sam had to say about it, or what Jacob thought he felt for my damn mate. I will find a way to break this damn curse. And if I had to break every bone in Jacob's body before that, no big loss.
