Author's Note: Sorry it's been a hot minute, guys, but I finally got my laptop replaced! Anyway I have two chapters written and edited, I just had to type them in, but after spending 4 1/2 hours typing just this chapter, I had to stop for the day lol. Anyway, chapter 22 should be typed and posted tomorrow! Thanks for your patience and I hope y'all enjoy the chapter!
*Also, still embarrassed lol but please let me know if I missed any henry's to harry's, I'll try to pay more attention in the future!*
(Bella)
Anxiety plagued my mind as Paul drove Emily's car to the hospital. I was vaguely aware of Jake's grumbling in the backseat as childhood memories with Harry Clearwater flooded my brain.
A solitary tear fell down my cheek as I remembered the sunny summer days Charlie and I spent fishing with Billy and Harry, usually with Jake and Leah in tow. I never liked the act myself- it felt a bit cruel- but I enjoyed spending time with everyone on the river bank, and occasionally in Harrys fishing boat. I used to attempt to capture the surrounding scenery in my sketchpad. By the end of the day everyone always looked forward to Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry.
My eyes drifted to Leah in the backseat. Staring dejectedly out of the window. Only those who knew her could tell she was fighting back tears. Leah was strong, confident, stubborn, and proud. And one of the biggest daddy's girls to ever walk the face of the Earth. She was too prideful to ever show it, but she was in pain. She and I had never been close, but I still felt the strong urge to comfort her somehow, to cry with her.
She'd kill me.
Finally we did arrive at the hospital, the early dawn light illuminated the surrounding cars in the parking lot. Paul parked in a visitation parking spot and shut off the engine. I left Paul's white leather jacket behind before stepping out.
As I shut the passenger's door behind me, Jake stood next to me, wrapping a big arm around my shoulders.
"You okay, Bell's-?"
Paul jerked him back by his shoulder, growling in his ear:
"' might wanna focus on the woman that's losing her father."
Leah glared at them from beside Paul.
"Can we not turn this into a shit show?"
She turned on her heel and began to storm through the parking lot but was abruptly stopped by Paul.
"With me, remember?"
She sneered. "Get a move on then."
Paul took my hand and lead the way, with Leah close beside him and Jake following close behind. I tried not to get distracted by the overwhelming heat of his hand, oddly I found it comforting. The same questions that had haunted me for what seemed like an eternity swirled in the back of my mind, mostly concealed by the veil of grief I felt in saying goodbye to Uncle Harry.
Not now.
A few elevator rides and a silent ten minute walk later we finally made it to Uncle Harry's room in the ICU, soon to be moved down to hospice. Outside the door were chairs lined against the wall, one of them filled by Clair who sat fussing on her mother's lap.
"Oh, Leah! We were so worried! Emily-" The woman began.
"Save it, cousin. I'm here for my dad." Leah interrupted.
"Leah." Paul warned.
Leah turned her head in disgust as Aunt Sue came charging through the doorway.
"My God, what took you, Lahote?" She demanded as she turned to her daughter. "Where's your brother? Why-?"
"Apparently I'm not a grown ass woman." Leah sneered at Paul.
He seemed to take the jibe in stride. Puzzled, I wanted to connect the dots, but my desire to see Uncle Harry out weighed it.
Sue turned to me.
"I'm so glad you could make it too, Bella. Your father's still here, he and Billy left for a coffee run."
"That's okay, I'll wait here for him." I didn't want to intrude on Leah's time with her father.
"Thank you, dear." Sue replied, heart felt. She turned back to Paul and Leah. "Now where is my son?"
"He's coming, he should have been right behind us." Paul answered her.
"Then we'll wait for him."
"Do what you want, I'm going to see my father." Leah interjected.
"Leah, we need to talk before that, as a family-" She reached for her daughter.
"Forget it, I just want to see my dad." Leah jerked her arm away.
"Leah." Paul interjected.
"I'm fine."
"Then act like it."
Sue's eyes filled with heartbreak, Leah's filled with… betrayal?
Paul turned his attention back to me, my hand still in his.
"I'm going to take Leah in to see him, okay? Just wait here and I promise you'll get a chance too." He promised as he gazed into my eyes. Staring back into his dark irises, my mind momentarily blanked. I nodded as he released my hand, then took a seat beside Clair and her mother. I tuned the others out for a moment as I looked down at my lap, staring at my hand. I didn't want to admit it, but I missed his warmth. Seriously, stop being stupid.
As I was distracted, Jake began to sit next to me, but stopped as Paul jerked his chin towards the room.
"No, you're joining us." He simply ordered.
Jake grumbled but did as he was bid, to my shock. He straightened his back and followed Leah, Paul and Sue into the room, promising he'd be back soon before closing the door.
Once the door had shut the hallway became almost deafening quiet, the only sounds being the distant beeping of machines and the quiet whispers of medical staff and other loved ones visiting their patients.
A few moments passed before Clair began to fuss again and lifted her chubby little arms towards me.
"Bell! Bell! I want Bell!" She demanded, clenching her tiny fingers in a grabbing motion.
"Clair- honey- she may not want to hold you right now…." Her mother gently protested which went ignored by Clair. She quickly turned her attention to me. "I'm so sorry…."
"D-don't be, I'd l-love to h-hold her, if it's o-okay."
"Yay!" Clair squealed.
Before me or her mother could react, Clair pushed off of her and climbed into my lap, leaving her mother momentarily gasping from the force of Clair's arm in her lungs.
"Clair!" She gasped.
"A-are you okay?!" I asked, concerned.
"Yes- I'm fine, I'm very sorry-" She sucked in a deep breath.
"I-it's o-okay! She's f-fine, really!" I tried to reassure the woman, I felt bad for her getting the air knocked out of her lungs, I didn't know how else to help other than to try to deescalate her stress.
The woman finally caught her breath as Clair finished nuzzling herself into my lap, then began talking a million miles a minute. She had a dozen questions, ranging from Paul to Uncle Harry to Barbie. They were so rapid fire that I could hardly catch any of them.
Finally having caught her breath back, the woman addressed Clair.
"Clair, honey, settle down. We don't want to overwhelm her!" She offered me a sympathetic look with a face that almost perfectly mirrored Emily's.
Clair slowed down and pouted.
"I missed her mama!"
"I know dear, but let the poor girl breathe, okay? I'm sure she'll be happy to talk once she's had a chance to settle in, okay?"
"O'tay." Clair settled down in my lap. Clutching her Bratz doll in her hand.
"I really am sorry about all of this, she's talked about you and Paul non stop since you were kind enough to babysit her."
"It's n-no trouble, I've m-missed her too." I couldn't help but like her, she reminded me of another little girl I grew up with… for a moment my thoughts drifted to Jess. I miss her.
"You're Bella Swan, Chief Swan's daughter?" She asked.
"Uh, y-yes." I confirmed.
"Billy and Sheriff Swan should be back soon, we've had people in and out, most of us haven't eaten- oh, where's my manners? I'm so sorry, I got flustered and forgot to introduce myself! I'm Elizabeth, Emily's older sister."
"Oh, it's alright, it's nice to meet you."
"Same, Bella. I just wish it had been under different circumstances." She paused. "You're acquainted with Emily- why isn't she here? She hasn't shown up yet…."
I sighed, remembering some of the cryptic conversation I'd picked up between Sam and Emily earlier.
"I'm not sure but- I think she'll visit later today."
All I'd caught of the conversation had been that Sam had broken the news to Emily that she couldn't come to say goodbye to her uncle, not yet is what he'd said. It had hurt her, but she'd agreed. Odd, I don't see how he can keep her away.
I didn't think it was my place to gossip, so chose a generic response instead.
"I hope she gets here soon, Uncle Harry- the doctors are keeping him comfortable, but…. If she needs a ride, John wouldn't mind bringing her…." She trailed off for a moment. "Oh, John's my husband, he's been giving people rides all night to and from the hospital."
I simply nodded. "I'm sure she'll be here soon…."
We were interrupted by Paul charging out of the room with Leah, her vibrating violently as Jake followed them both closely, keeping between them and Sue Clearwater.
"Where are you taking her?! She can't leave-!" Tears filled her voice as she followed them out, trying to get past Jake.
The three of us watched in awe.
"What the hell happened?" Elizabeth muttered to herself.
"Hell! Hell!" Clair giggled.
Elizabeth sighed in frustration.
"That was my fault, ' can't get mad at her." She grumbled to herself.
I wasn't sure what to do, I didn't want Uncle Harry to be left alone, but I also had to admit that I wasn't blood, I couldn't just invite myself in.
Very timely Charlie stepped out of the nearby elevator, carrying two foam cup carriers of Styrofoam filled coffees.
I gently placed Clair back on her mother's lap, then jumped up to greet him and to help lessen his burden.
He looked up as I stumbled my way to him, his eyes sunken in from a night of tears.
"Dad!" I greeted him as I took one of the cup carriers.
"Hey, kiddo." I could hear sorrow and fatigue in his voice. "Glad you made it."
Billy wheeled himself off the larger handicap elevator, on his lap was a box of donuts. He wheeled up to Charlie.
"Good to see you made it, Bella." He greeted me. He glanced into the open doorway, noticing the mostly vacated room. "Where's Sue?"
"We're not sure, she and the others just… took off." Elizabeth answered from her seat, over Clair singing to herself, playing with her doll's hair.
Charlie handed a steaming cup to Elizabeth and Billy placed the box of donuts down on the chair I'd vacated.
"Thank you." She responded as she took the cup gratefully.
"Donuts! Donuts!" Clair began to cheer from her mother's lap, her mother cringed.
"I'm going to go see what's wrong." Billy told Charlie.
"Go ahead, me and Bella will visit with Harry." Charlie answered back.
Billy nodded then turned his chair back around and wheeled himself back to the handicap elevator. Charlie sat the cup holder down on a nearby side table and I followed suit, then followed him into the ICU room.
Uncle Harry laid in the hospital bed, his eyes closed, an oxygen mask covered half his face. Various machines beeped and groaned around him.
Charlie sat down in one of the two chairs beside his old friend. Numbly, I sat beside him.
"It-is was a massive one, Bells. They did what they could- shocked him, started talking stints, surgery… then it was followed by a massive stroke. Now-" He paused, choked back tears. "He's brain dead. They- they're giving him pain drugs, the kind reserved only for the dying. He-" He swallowed. "He's- he's dying."
Tears filled my eyes, for what had to be the hundredth time in the past twelve hours.
"I-I'm sorry, Dad."
Charlie had grown up with Billy, Harry and Sue. They'd all been close childhood friends.
Losing Harry was like losing a brother.
"Remember, when he would take you kids down to the corner store? Load you all up on a bunch of crap?" He asked as tears welled, he gripped his friend's hand.
I smiled in spite of the tears.
"Yeah, then he'd let us play with his garden hose when it was hot." I remembered all us kids shooting each other with it, pretending it was a machine gun. Playing dead in the mud and giggling like fools. Aunt Sue would always have a freezer full of popsicles waiting afterwards.
"You kids were always into something. Every Saturday me, Billy and Harry would exchange our latest war stories." His voice broke, he looked down at his fiend's hand for a moment, then wiped away his tears. "Him and Billy laughed me into the dirt when I told them about your liquor cabinet raid."
"You did make sure I regretted it." I cringed remembering the banging pots and pans.
"That was actually his idea." Charlie laughed.
"Did he tell you to sing 'Highway to Hell' too?"
"Well, I had to add my own flare."
We both laughed, then sat in painful silence.
The machines continued to hum and beep.
Finally, Charlie broke the silence.
"When- when your mother left, him and Billy… they refused to let me wallow. I- I felt like I had no one. Your mother took you and left in the dead of night, I didn't see it coming. She left me a letter in your crib." He paused as more tears gathered then fell. "My parents- they were dying at the time. I couldn't just leave them, I was their only son." He wiped away a few more tears. "It was a hard time, kid. I wouldn't have survived it without them."
"You've never told me about your and mom's divorce."
Renee had though, she insisted that he'd pushed her away and stuck her with me.
He sighed.
"Guess you're old enough now, Bella. It was a damn mess, kid. She took all my life's savings, totally cleaned out our bank account the night she took off. Over night I was left with nothing. If that weren't bad enough, she constantly fought me over your custody. We went to court regularly, she made threats, then she made accusations."
"'Accusations'?"
"Accusations, really tried to paint me as this horrible human being, abusive husband, neglectful father. Just- horrific lies. In the end I was lucky I got summers with you. She went for blood." more tears welled. "But Billy and Harry? They never left my side through all of it. Billy came by regularly with groceries, and for a while every free moment Harry had, he and Sue spent helping me care for your grandparents. It wasn't too long after all of that that they died."
A moment paused as I let all of that sink in.
There had been a time when Renee had managed to convince me that Charlie didn't want me around more than necessary. That I'd been nothing but a burden to them both.
That that was all I'd ever be, a burden.
I never imagined that Charlie had hurt as bad as I had.
"I'm sorry, Dad."
He looked up and patted my hand.
"Don't be, kid. I got you out of it, so I have no regrets. I don't have any hatred for your mother, either. I don't regret our time together, I just regret how it ended."
I wish I could say the same.
Charlie and I sat with Uncle Harry alone for a while as Clair continued to fuss in the hallway, until a nurse came to inform us that they were ready to begin moving Uncle Harry to the hospice ward.
I rejoined Elizabeth and Clair in the hallway, while Charlie left to find Billy and Sue. Soon after, Jake came chagrin through the hall dragging Leah loudly protesting behind him. Billy wheeled himself a short distance behind them.
"We gotta cut this short, Bella." He said as he dragged a cursing Leah behind him.
"Tell him to fuck off Bella!" She growled as she tried to pull her arm free.
"Wh-what's going on? Jake?" Why is he manhandling her? This isn't like him. What happened?
"I'll explain later, but we havta leave. Now."
"Why don't you let Leah go? We can talk about this in a more calm manner-"
"If I do, she's gonna hit someone. I'll explain, really, but for now we have to leave."
"Okay, okay. But you don't have to drag her." I glanced over his shoulder at Leah. What is going on?
"Trust me Bells, I don't want to."
"Then let me go, dumb ass!"
He sighed in frustration.
"Fine, but don't even think about escaping."
"Please, like you could catch me fat ass. Now let go, we look stupid enough!"
"Leah…? Is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked from her chair, concerned.
"Fucking peachy."
Jake glanced back over his shoulder at Leah, and muttered something under his breath, then reluctantly he let her arm go.
Leah rubbed her arm and walked towards me placing distance between herself and Jake, who refused to take his eyes off of her.
"Now his highness has decreed, and we can't disobey the tyrant."
"Watch it, Leah-" Jake warned.
"You watch it, Jacob." She turned her gaze back to the room where Harry Clearwater laid, the door closed as nurses and attendants had begun his transition. "I will be back."
She turned away from the door.
"Let's go."
