ummmmm ok so i was going to download tinder but then i read in SEVENTEEN magazine that "thats cheugy and cringe" and so instead i uhh

i sawed off my hand!

yes! :)

sprinkles and cake

ok so anyway i sawed off my hand

and was like

'eduaward... u must KNOW how u cheated on me.."

and so i drove to hishs house!

and opened the door (it was UNLOCKED beacuse he has an open door policy with the SLUTS he FUCKS) :(

and so i ran in screaming

and he turned around

he was in the kitchen

he was making ketchup soup (our favorite meal together)

adn so then i ran up and showed him my bloody stump where my hand used to be

and he looked at it and slowly put his mouth around it

he started suckling at the blood and tendon etc

and i was like "SQUEE!" he does luv me! hearts.

and then TIFFANY came out of the bathroom

sh e was COVERED in mustard

and i was like

"omg.. they are SEX together"

and tifffany was like

"srry your totttaly cringe"

and i was like

"bustardbard"

and then i decieded

I HAD TO PUNISH IFFANY

dundundun..

cliffhanger.