The guitar strings filled the Vault's rec-room from the old jukebox that sat in the corner of the well furnished room. Here chairs, couches, tables and bookshelves filled the room as it was one of the few places to relax in the utilitarian design of the Vault.
The banging of drums joined in the electric melody that had survived from the days before the Great War. Notes left on a vinyl disc from musicians long dead even before the war, the lyrics oddly topical for the Vault's still unknown fate. Don't fear the reaper, the lyrics said. Easy to say but hard to do when you can see him coming as Albert did.
Sitting on one of the couches, Albert had buried himself in a book. Not the usual novel of heroes and adventures that he was normally fond of. But a medical textbook, his hands holding open the section on the effects of extreme dehydration as he waited for the others to arrive.
Friday nights were card night among his group of friends, shortly after night hours had begun they gathered in the Vault rec-room for an evening of mindless fun and good old fashioned bullshitting.
Already seated at the table were two of the group in the midst of an intense debate.
"I mean sure, the Silver Shroud's cool and all, I just don't see him being able to win against Bond." Truly the greatest debate was occurring mere feet away from Albert, as two of the more vocal comic book fans held their near nightly discussion.
"Bond is an English tea drinker that wouldn't last a day in the mean streets of Boston." Argued Gordon, the resident Silver Shroud super fan. With a near obsessive level of love and knowledge of the character, Gordon rarely went more than a few sentences before making some attempt at bringing a conversation to the subject of his favorite hero. A trait that left many annoyed with the young man and more than once, Albert had to step in to keep the eccentric man from being beaten for his incessant need to bring the comic character up at every turn.
"He absolutely could, Bond an international super spy, the man could make it anywhere." Retorted Lyle. While not quite as fanatic as Gordon was, Lyle still held onto a love for the fantastic and was the one who drew Albert into the interest. He and Lyle were both born the same year and as such spent much of their childhood together.
As their argument continued the ever familiar hiss of the sliding doors opening caught Albert's attention just in time to watch as Chico entered the room with a bag in hand. "Behold!" The cook shouted as he made his way over and put the bag onto a nearby table, opening it with a flourish. "A man!" He said with a large grin, as the bag's contents were revealed to be a healthy portion of fried chicken, a rare treat in the Vault.
"That's... not a man." Came a rumbly deep voice from behind him, and above him.
Standing well over six feet tall, nearing seven and just about as wide as he was tall, Max Stone entered the rec-room closely behind the comparatively minuscule Chico. A hulking mass of a human being, Max was easily the largest person in the Vault and was often found in the Vault's gym where he worked as a fitness instructor.
"No it's.. Diogenes? You know. Behold a man?" Chico asked, looking around at the others in the hopes that someone understood his reference.
"Dio who?" Lyle asked as he reached into the bag to take one of the still warm pieces of breaded chicken.
"If I was not Alexander the Great... I.. would like to be Diogenes!" Max said in his slow and somewhat labored speech. While he was a man of peak muscle mass, there was one rather important one that he most certainly lacked.
"Heeey! There ya go!" Chico explained happily at the large man.
"I.. remembered from the other day." Max said with a slow nod. His face beaming with pride at his accomplishment. "You.. told me about him."
"Yeeaah look at that. Gonna make you a philosopher in no time. A true man of Rome!" Chico said excitedly.
There was a pause as Max looked up at the ceiling. "This isn't Rome." He finally said with a scrunched face of confusion.
"Welp, I'm as lost as he is." Lyle said with raised brows. "Anyways, are the others coming or what? I can only talk about made up people for so long."
"Made up or not," Gordon began. "The Silver Shroud is a fascinating-"
"I don't even have a pussy but I'm getting' dry just listening to you dude." Chico interrupted with a roll of his eyes.
"I do have one and it's trying to seal itself shut." Came a low, feminine voice with a hint of a foreign accent from behind Max's large form. Stepping out from behind was Natalia, a slender, dark haired woman descended from a Russian diplomat. A heritage that had earned her a notable amount of vitriol from some of the more "patriotic" locals.
"Hey Nat." Albert said, having still not yet looked up from his book.
"Hey stud." Natalia purred as she deftly weaved her way through the crowding space and threw herself onto the couch right next to Albert, leaning over to get a better view of what he was reading all the while disregarding any concept of personal space. "Oh shit. He's trying to learn something."
"Been like that for the past hour." Said Lyle. "Think he's trying to get himself another go at Patty. Smartening himself up for her."
"Oh fuck yes, go get that ginger ass. She's got some freckles on there that I'd fucking kiiiiill to get my tongue over." Natalia said with enthusiasm.
"Why.. would you want.. to lick her butt Nat?" Max asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Because she's a slut." Gordon scoffed, not nearly as quiet as he thought he did.
"And yet I still won't fuck you, that's pretty pathetic ain't it?"
"Like I'd accept it from a commie! But I do share your sentiments towards the fair lady Delaney. She's a right vixen that one." Gordon said, trying and failing to do a rather poor impression of the Silver Shroud.
"Fuck it's like a cold shower from hell I swear!" Natalia complained as she rolled herself upside down on the couch, letting her feet hook up behind the back of the couch.
"Gordon, get some fucking chicken before it goes cold." Chico yelled, hoping to change the subject.
"I like Miss Delaney. She's helping me with one of.. the weekly programs." Max said with a soft smile. "She's reading the books, and then.. going in and writing them, into smaller words. So I can say them when giving a gym lesson." He said with a happy nod.
"That woman's a saint." Lyle said as he popped open a bottle of Nuka-Cola Grape. His personal drink of choice.
"No!" Gordon suddenly yelled. "She's a woman of many talents and skills. Who's charms and wiles can enrapture any man alive! Who's intellect leaves all but the brightest minds in the dust. Enigmatic, a woman of few words of herself leaving you lost in a maze of possibilities. She's... a true Mistress of Mysteries."
The Nuka-cola bottle was slammed onto the table with an echoing clang and was quickly followed by a yell of celebration from Lyle. "YEESS! We have to get her in the booth!"
"Oh shit, here we go." Chico moaned.
It was no secret to anyone within the Vault that Gordon, Lyle, and even Melvin were in the process of creating their own Silver Shroud radio play. With scripts written by Gordon and Lyle, the two had been hard at work on the project for months now.
"Her low, sultry voice is perfect for the Mistress, and she can raise it up higher when she's trying to sound professional. So she could work as Claudia as well." Gordon explained, referring to the Mistresses's alter ego Claudi Martin.
"Would she agree though? I mean she'd be perfect for it but would she be down for it?" Lyle asked, his excitement barely containable.
"You two dumbasses don't even have a Shroud yet." Chico interjected with a laugh.
"Well... I assumed that I would be playing the titular hero." Gordon said, puffing out his chest as he spoke with his slightly nasally tone, one that did not fit the Shroud at all.
"Al should do it." Natalia said offhandedly. Having slipped her shoes off and now in the process of tapping Albert's face with her now free toes.
"Absolutely not." Albert said as he jerked away from the offending appendages. "You guys know I don't care for the Shroud comics. More of a Grognak fan. You bring him in for an Unstoppables episode then we'll talk." Albert had a history with the character that was well known throughout the Vault after all.
From there the conversation devolved into an argument on the merits of an uneducated caveman with a giant axe in a fight against a gun toting crime fighter, par for the course for the group of friends that had banded together because of their appreciation for the wild and fantastic. Grandchildren of the Vault, they were the second generation to have never seen the sky, nor felt the wind on their faces. All that they had ever known were their imaginations and the metal walls that kept them entombed within the mountain.
Within an hour, their small group had grown with the arrival of Melvin, Carl, and Albert's most recent ex-girlfriend Theresa. Though their breakup had been a rather messy one, it did no one any good to remain too hostile to anyone within the Vault seeing as how there truly was no escaping them once things turned sour. Thankfully for them both they had managed to patch things up and repair their previous friendship some time ago and while not on the best of terms, could still enjoy each other's company in small doses.
Sitting around and casually shooting the shit was all the group could truly do on nights such as this one. There were only so many holotapes and book copies that one could go through before the lack of anything new made itself apparent. No new records or shows, no new books or wild stories had been told down there in the creative black hole that was the Vault. But that night something sparked there in the dark, cold hole that they called home. Several beers into the night, Albert finally spoke of what had been on his mind most of that week.
"What if we left?"
The question hung in the air like a poisonous vapor which no one dared to breathe.
"What if we just... walked out the door and left." Albert asked again.
"You mean like... out out?" Lyle was the first to respond.
"Yeah, out of the Vault." Albert nodded.
There was a sudden roar of noise as each member of the group voiced their complaints. He heard it all. That he was stupid, that he was drunk, that he was out of his mind, how he should stop thinking up ways of impressing Patty. They threw it all at him all at once, but none of them knew what he knew. They were all going to die anyway. What was the harm then in wanting to see the sun for himself?
"Are you drunk already?" Asked Natalia. "One foot out there and you're dead." She said, poking at Albert's face with her own foot to punctuate her statement.
"How do you know?" Albert asked in a steady tone.
"Because we would have gotten the "all clear" signal if things were okay up there. Vault-tec would have sent the signal straight to the Overseer." Explained Melvin. "And I'm listening for radio traffic every day and not once have I caught anything. Nothing else is sending signals out there, least nothing that our radio can pick up."
"Okay, so maybe no one else survived." Said Albert. "Maybe we're it. But who's to say that it's still dangerous up there? It's possible by now that the radiation has all evaporated or whatever it is radiation does. It can't just.. linger right?"
"You sound veeerry sure of yourself right now bud." Said Lyle.
"What brought this on anyways? Something's got you spooked Al." Said Carl after a period of silence.
"I know what it is." Theresa said with a huff. "He figured it out."
Albert's eyes locked with Theresa's. Did she know? She was a smart one after all. Too smart for her own good at times. It was what had drawn him to her at first, and it had been what had split them up. Though it didn't take a genius to see who Albert truly had eyes for.
"Yeah... Daryl Porter's dating Patty and poor Al just can't stand to be stuck here watching them." She said with a venom laced tone.
"Wait he's what?" Sputtered Carl in surprise.
"Yup, They started about a week ago." Theresa confirmed with a nod.
"Aww man, there goes my chance." Natalia said loudly.
"You never had one."
"Fuck you Chico." Natalia growled as she rolled herself off the couch and sat upright.
"No that's not... That's not it." Albert said with a sigh. Was he really about to let it slip? Being the only one who knew was eating him up inside. The cold horror that rose at the sight of every drop of precious water. The knowledge that they would soon run out of it.
"We're what?" Came Gordon's shocked voice.
Looking up, Albert saw the confusion on all of their faces. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he repeated himself. "We're running out of water."
The next few days were like a blur to Albert, he made his friends swear to keep the news to themselves. Even now he didn't want to cause a panic to rush through the Vault. He had kept the details few and far between and kept Ben's breakdown out of the conversation. No one would know that the two had spoken, or at least that was his hope.
Among the many amenities that the Vault provided for its denizens, one that Albert regularly took advantage of was the large gym that was equipped with the latest and greatest workout machinery that Vault-tec could create. Nuclear powered stationary-bikes, power-weights, treadmills, infinite swimming pools, and a slew of holotaps on proper exercise plans and their forms. Whatever a proud inhabitant of the great Vault 13 needed to keep themselves in tip top shape, Vault-tec had provided.
As an honorary member of Vault security, Albert wasn't bound by the rigorous fitness requirements that most of the security force had to keep up with, but even so he made an effort to spend at least an hour or two a week on one of the machines.
A small bell sounded on his treadmill as he reached the hour mark. With his legs feeling like they were about to collapse on him he made a small prayer of thanks that his run was finally over. He could have stopped it at any time of course but the view ahead had kept him going.
Patty Delaney's own treadmill was stationed up ahead and if that wasn't a view that could make a red blooded man run for an hour Albert didn't know what could. The good doctor knew that good fitness led to good health and so she could be found most mornings running on one of the treadmills. Between the cardio and aerobics, Patty kept her body in top shape through a rigorous workout regiment that she stuck to with diligence that made most men jealous. Further proof that once Patty had a goal, there was very little that could stop her from accomplishing it.
If she knew of the oncoming crisis, then she could very well be the Vault's best hope at stopping it. Albert had been wrestling with the idea of letting her in on what was now a secret among a handful of the Vault residents. She rarely gave him the time of day, and he was rarely able to form a coherent sentence around her. Those two facts were not good bedfellows. The sooner she knew however, the sooner she could help.
Wiping the sweat off his face with a towel and taking a healthy gulp from his water bottle, Albert summoned up the courage to finally approach her. "Uhh hey Patty."
"I'm not gonna need a spotter thank you." She said, not even sparing a glance over at him.
"Huh? Oh no I wasn't going to ask."
"Go see Doctor Frobisher if you hurt yourself." She said irritably.
"Oh no I'm fine I'm just..."
"Then what do you want?" She said bringing the treadmill to a stop and when she finally turned to look at him it was with a look of utmost anger.
"I.. just wanted to talk?" Said Albert, trying with all his might to maintain eye contact, trying desperately not to look down into her cleavage. The Bright blue vault suits weren't the only articles of clothing that were allotted to the residents of Vault 13. A selection of casual and underwear made of the finest synthetic materials were available to the public, however they were only allowed in certain areas of the Vault, the gym being one such place. Taking advantage of that fact, Patty had unzipped her vaultsuit and tied the torso section around her waist and had donned a sports bra that while nearly uncomfortably tight, was leagues better than what it would feel to have worn her normal clothing during her workout.
The arms of her vaultsuit were quickly pulled out of their knot and the top quickly zipped up just as Albert lost his battle and glanced downward. "Well I don't." She said coldly, stepping off the treadmill, shoulder checking him in the process as she started to make her escape.
"Whoa wait, just hold on for a moment." He said, instinctively reaching out for her arm. A mistake he wished he hadn't made.
His hand was slapped away, hard as the red hair swirled around Patty's face as he turned to glare daggers at him. "Don't touch me. Don't you EVER touch me." Her words were laced with enough venom to kill on contact and caused the taller man to shrink from her wrath.
"You're right. Yeah no, noo problem there." He said, raising his hands above his head. "I just... we really need your help."
"Then go see..."
"It's not medical related." Albert interrupted.
"And if it's about that stupid radio play I already told Gordon a hundred times..."
"It's not that either! But good to know."
"Then what is it?"
"Okay just... Have you noticed something weird with the water lately?" He asked, finally biting the bullet.
"The water?" Patty asked, her head tilted slightly.
"Yeah. The⦠the water."
"Well what about it?" She asked, crossing her arms as her mood shifted from anger to curiosity. A good sign for Albert.
"Shower's are turning off sooner, Water pressure lowered all around, the toilets aren't filling up all the way."
"Okay... yeah. Yeah I've noticed. Why? You got an idea on what's up with it?" She asked, peering at him intently. Looking far more interested in him than she ever had before.
Feeling a little hot under the color from her gaze, Albert's mind started to race as his words started coming out quicker than he could think. "Oh yeah. Well, not just an idea but the actual reason." He said leaning forward a bit and lowering his voice despite the two being the only ones in the gym at that hour.
"You know... why? Okay?" She asked with an arched brow.
"Yeah, so I did a little digging around to make sure I wasn't going crazy right? Asked around, got some second opinions, some validation, and decided to go to the source." He said with a growing smile.
"The source?"
"Yeah. Went to the water technician himself."
"Ben." Patty said with a nod.
"Poor old Ben." Albert confirmed. "Found out that he had been pulling double and even triple shifts to try and fix the problem with no solution in sight. So I just got him some coffee and had a talk with him about it, aaand found out what the problem is."
"Ben told you?" She asked, her brows furrowed.
"Yeah, and it's a doozy." Albert confirmed with a nod.
"The Water-chip." She said, her gaze hardening.
"The... yeah, wait how did you-?"
"Why are you telling me this?" She asked him.
"Why? Cause you're the smartest person here? You could help us figure out a solution and-"
"No! No. Why, are you telling me this, after promising Ben that you wouldn't tell a soul?" If Patty's stare earlier was one of anger, the one she wore now was unparalleled rage.
"I... what?" The panic was welling up inside him now. He could feel himself being cornered and acted on instinct. "Wait no, I never promised him-"
His lie was interrupted by a searing hot pain across his face, his vision blurred and his head wobbled as Patty's palm cracked across the side of his face. "You worthless, fucking, SNAKE! Who else knows? Who else? I know you've told others. Bet you didn't even wait to tell the first person who'd listen. I know you told Max, he stopped showering entirely. Chico hasn't been washing the produce as thoroughly. Natalia isn't flushing half the time. So who the fuck else knows?" She demanded of him, shoving him forward and throwing a few more slaps at him.
"Hold on, just give me a minute and I'll.. How do you even kno-" He tried to defend himself as he held his face where he was struck, but Patty was having none of it.
"Because I'm his doctor you miserable piece of shit! Who do you think gives him mentats so he can stay up that long? Who do you think picks him up when he breaks down from the stress? Who do you think had to patch him up when he cut his fucking wrist open after telling you?" She screamed at him, even at her short height it still felt like her presence loomed over Albert as she invaded his space.
"Wait, what did he do?" Albert asked, taken aback by both the assault and the news.
"Yeah. Cut it wide open because he was terrified that you'd get him in trouble. That you would go out and blab. So there I am, making a complete fool of myself by telling him "No, Albert wouldn't do that, he'll keep it a secret." So thanks for making me into a liar too you fucking rat!"
"But I never meant for-"
"That's two now." She said, her assault halting for the moment. "That's the second one that was cut because of you." She said through her teeth as she caught her breath.
A moment of clarity struck him. A job he had taken from Patty's mother had led to an outcome that had soured any chances Albert ever had of having a friendly relationship with Patty.
"Look, what happened with your dad was not my fault. Okay your mom asked for my help, I was just doing my-"
"She didn't ask you to publicly humiliate him! She didn't ask you to tell the whole vault! But you had to do what you always do, and you ran your fucking mouth and turned everyone against him! He made one mistake, and they could have worked through it but you couldn't leave it between them. You did what you always do, and had to get all the attention. You did it then, and you're doing it now. You don't give a shit what happens to the people here."
"That is.. beyond not true alright?"
"Shut up. Just.. shut up. The only thing I want to hear out of you is something you're incapable of saying so just... shut up. If you actually cared for the people here? We'd find you hanging from a noose. Would be the best thing you've ever done for anyone."
Her words struck him harder than her hand ever could, and for the days that came after he could still feel their sting in his quiet moments. The Delaney case was a simple one. Patrick Dalaney was spending less and less time with his wife, Martha Dalaney was getting more and more suspicious by the day that something was up. She had assumed he was simply going out and getting drunk down at the farms and playing poker with his friends. Not once did the thought of an affair reach her mind. Albert hadn't been the most subtle about his investigation. He had done as he was asked after all and questioned most of Patrick's friends about his whereabouts and like the concerned friends that they were, they joined in the search. After a week of keeping an eye out and keeping watch they found where he had been sneaking off too, right into the arms of a younger man. His reputation was destroyed, his friends and wife abandoned him, and within a week of the discovery he had cut open his wrist and died.
Patrick's suicide rocked the Vault to it's core. Such things were common in the early days, people had a difficult time adjusting to underground life and often escaped from it the only way they could. For the past twenty years however it had been mostly unheard of. It wasn't something that Albert had dwelled on too much. He had done exactly as asked, if anything Martha shouldered much of the blame. After all, she had abandoned her husband. If she didn't want to deal with the aftermath she shouldn't have dug into it. That was Albert's reasoning at least.
But even so, the cold pit in his stomach wouldn't leave him. He didn't put much stock in her words, but the look on Patty's face had still disturbed him. It was a sting that simply wouldn't go away, rising back up again each time he saw her. For most it would have been a sign that he needed to give up, to stop what he was doing and allow those in charge to handle the situation, but Albert was not like other people. With the water running lower and lower as time went on he knew he needed to act, desperate times called for desperate measures, and times were most certainly desperate.
