Chapter 5 – The Human Within the Immortal

It was already nighttime when our three companions arrived, finding both me and Seth in the living-room already attempting to crack the code. So far we were on the fifth letter as we only decided to start without the others a few minutes before since the matter was of upmost urgency. Admittedly, we just couldn't contain ourselves anymore, we had to know what the message left by Alice was.

The two of us explained to the others what we had found and I could feel the energy in the room becoming much lighter, warmer, hopeful even. A sudden spark was in everyone's eyes as all of us realized that maybe, just maybe, the search would be finally over and we could finally bring our friends home, ending this nightmare once and for all. But I would not be so.

With five people helping and with the right book as our guide it was easy to, at last, read the very, and I mean, very, short and vague message.

Amalienborg – Copenhagen; St. Marks Square – Venice.

"This doesn't make any sense, two completely different locations with no apparent connection between them whatsoever; how do we now which one to choose?" Questioned Embry, breaking at last the long cold silence that seemed to swoop down the room second my second.

"Well, the obvious choice would be Venice since it's in Italy and relatively close to Volterra, but I must admit I'm not quite convinced it is that easy. If it was why add a second place?" Wondered Zafrina.

"What do you think it means?" I questioned Carlisle who was seating beside me.

"Hum, perhaps, she had two visions, one in each place as I doubt they told her where exactly they were taking her" As his suggestion, though, sprinkled with uncertainty.

"So, that takes us back to square one; we still have no clue where they are" Expressed Zafrina, frustration starting again to consume her voice. I could not say I did not feel the same way, after all the message that took us more than a month to finally be able to read was just another riddle and it posed the question: would we ever find them?

"Well, we have two places to start looking, it's better than nothing" Said Carlisle, trying to be optimistic as always, although, I even I could tell he was as disappointed as the rest of us.

"Are you suggesting we separate into two groups? Isn't that too dangerous?" Asked Zafrina, looking directly at him now, worry mirroring on her features.

"It is, but we also don't have another choice do we?" He answered, a knowing look on his eyes as he knew this to be our only option at the moment. So did all of us.

"I suppose not" She murmured with a sigh.

"Then, I'm even more sorry to tell you that Seth will be staying behind for this mission" Informed Embry, surprising everyone in the room, including Seth who, by the looks of it, didn't know about his friend's plans. He stared ate him, his eyes piercing him with clear indignation.

"What?!" He demanded to know.

"You know Mia can't keep covering for us like she has for the few past months, she just turned after all and she needs someone to help and guide her" Embry explained rather calmly, his voice contained as he for sure had played several times this conversation on his mind. Seth wasn't the easiest person to persuade after all – even if it was for his own good "Besides, you're still too young and this time it is going to be even more dangerous, so you're staying behind"

"No way" He protested, as he got from beside me, almost in a way to make his point.

"I'm your Alpha so you will do as I say" Embry said in a very serious tone, commanding even. After all, I had been so wrapped up in my own grief that I had not kept up with the rest of the world. I had never imagined Embry in the role of Alpha but, than again, I also had never imagined the situation we found ourselves in at the moment. Actually, his whole demeanor reminded me of Sam Uley. I felt shivers down my spine with that thought.

"You never used your status before…" Seth's tone was of accusation though quite soft, with drops of disappointment emerging from it. He really did not expect any of this. I could not say I did either, but, I had to agree that this mission was indeed to dangerous for Seth and was glad he was staying behind in order to be safe. Even if it was in this circumstances.

"Because this time I mean it, Seth" Embry expressed, his voice softening lightly, his eyes compassionate now "Please, don't make this any harder than what it needs to be"

"But, I-"

"I know!" He argued, making his friend quite. He lightly touched Seth's shoulder in support, his gaze saying it all. He understood him more than anyone but he would change his mind. He was protecting the only friend he had left. I knew that feeling well "I know…"

"Fine…" Seth complied, defeated, though, his anger from moments ago seemed considerable subdued. Embry smiled, giving him a fatherly pat on the back, satisfied with his friend's answer. And then, suddenly, the turn to us vampires with a slightly worried expression on his features.

"Do you guys mind...or?"

"Embry you don't have to justify yourself to us, do what you have to do in order to keep your home safe" Carlisle said almost instantly "We are the ones lucky enough to have you here helping after everything"

"Thanks, doc, but our cause is not that noble and you know it" Embry expressed with a sheepish smile, though grateful. Carlisle returned his smile understanding the meaning behind his words very well.

"Help is help; it is all the same to me"

"Great, then, we will take our leave" Embry informed as he got up from the armchair he was seating on and started to walk up to the front door. Carlisle accompanied him and Seth with me and Zafrina following close behind "Text me the details when you have them"

"Will do" Carlisle agreed with a, perhaps, too formal handshake.

I embraced Seth once more before he left, as I would probably not see him for many months if all and wanted to cherish as much as possible our friendship that had been so resiliently reconciled. I would miss him, his sense of humor would many times lift my spirits up and I would have to managed without it. But, I had survived worse and I was for his safety after all.

I also said my goodbyes to Embry as both of them left into the darkness of the night. The three of us that remained discussed for the next several hours what to do: when we were going to leave, which person would be our pair, to which location we would go, etc. After a long discussion, it was decided that Zafrina and Embry would go to Italy and me and Carlisle to Denmark. Me and Carlisle would leave right away while Zafrina would wait for Embry to have everything sorted out in the Reservation.

As such, we were set to leave on that same night. I was busing myself packing a rather large bag, perhaps too large, with a few changes of clothes because we did not know how much time we were going to be there. I also packed a few books with me and all of my camera gear in case we found any more clues similar to the one in Brazil. I also put in there a few notebooks and pens and I was finally ready to go. I sighed, closing the bag's zipper.

Once again, I found myself in the same situation as before. Alone with him. I could not lie and say it was not going to be awkward. I still felt embarrassed for my confession and complete loss of control in Brazil. Even after our conversation and his reassurance, still I did not want to be a burden to him in any way, especially emotionally. So, I would try and be on my best behavior, meaning, no emotional, unnecessary conversation, no irrational reactions to simple things, just being calm, poised and mature. I would follow his example, was my vow as we where already flying over the Northern Sea.

We arrived in Copenhagen at around 6pm and immediately got inside a Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren as Carlisle drove us from the airport to the hotel. We were staying at the Phoenix Copenhagen, that according to Carlisle was the closest to the Amalienborg palace, apparently you could actually see it through the windows. Well, it was a four star hotel so it was already more comfort than what I had been used to my entire life so I had no complaints there and it served our purpose quite nicely.

I had to admit, I never expected Denmark to be as beautiful as it was. As the car passed close to river on our way to the hotel, the reflections of the painted sunset on the water, with the lights of the streets and the colorful houses all around created an atmosphere quite enchanting, breathtaking even. I was mesmerized and for a brief moment was able to forget the reason I was there at all. I somehow felt home being miles away from Forks, Washington. Which reminded me: I had never spoken to Charlie since that day. I ought to call him, at least to know if he was alright. With that in mind, I made a mental note to speak him that very evening as soon as I got inside my room.

Upon arrival at the hotel and after a few minutes of struggling to find a good place to park the Mercedes, we entered the front desk to book our rooms. I was quite relaxed, still in the daze of the beautiful city we found ourselves in, until Carlisle presented me as his wife, Mrs. Melbourne and asked for a deluxe suite for us to stay in. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, my eyes like daggers demanding to know what was going on. Oh man, if looks could kill he would be six feet under already. But, classy as always, he pretended not to notice my silent inquires and proceeded to pay for the suite anyway.

We were escorted to our room and found our bags already there. I walked around the suite in amazement as Carlisle tipped the staff that had arranged it in such sort notice. It was absolutely beautiful, it was modern and yet retained a bit of the old world in it. The suite had windows everywhere my eyes looked, with curtains in a dark beige tone complementing the light beige, black and white colors that adorned the walls and furniture of space. The first big open space had two couches and a small table with pink tulips and a few books as decoration. In the next room, was the big king size bed and a large modern bathroom next to it. There was also a particular scent in the room – cinnamon, star anise and honey – making the whole place as homely as it was humanly possible. I felt instantly comfortable there, a comfort that was ruined by the obvious elephant in the room.

When Carlisle closed the door at last, leaving us alone and waking me up from my thoughts, I walked at vampire speed to the bed and dialed Charlie's number. I was still too outraged to speak to Carlisle and was afraid I would say something that I could regret in the heat of the moment, so I was hoping a conversation with my dad would calm me down. At least a little.

He picked up after the second beep.

"Bella!"

"Hey, dad, how have you been?" I questioned, smiling lightly with the excitement coming from the other end of the line. I felt guilty, I should really have called earlier but I also didn't want to keep feeding him false hope that I was going to be around for much longer. Little did I know that was exactly what I would be doing for next several minutes.

"Good, good, I'm so glad you called" The relief in his voice was quite palpable, making my still heart harden with more guilt.

"Just keeping my promise" I murmured, trying not to show what I was feeling at moment through my voice.

"That's my girl" I heard a smile as he spoke these words, making me lightly smile too.

I had missed him more than I initially realized. Talking with Charlie was like staring at home, at my old life. Back than, it seemed to me so dole and unpleasant that I ended up taking it for granted. Oh, but how I craved it now. Being human, being young and naive – believing in happy endings. Talking to my dad felt like that, like suddenly my childish hopes and dreams were coming back to me, filling the world around me with the normal I used to hate but terribly missed now that I had lost everything.

"How did things go with Sue that night?" I questioned in an attempt to distract myself from my thoughts and also to orientate the subject of the conversation more to his side than to mine. I didn't want to burden him with my troubles, especially now.

"Oh, amazing, Bells, I can't thank you enough for your advise. We have been closer than ever before, like two peas in a pod" He reassured me, an excitement growing in his voice indicating me that things were indeed more than okay between the two of them. I was glad "And… a…" He attempted to continue as the nerves got the better of him. I sensed him nervous on the other end and wondered what the reason for that was. Though, I knew my father and the one thing we had must in common was our lack of good social skills. So, I patiently waited for him to regain his composure.

"Well, it's just that…"

"What? Tell me" I ended up asking as I started to wonder if something really bad had happened if it was this hard to figure out a way to say it. Was he sick? For the love of everything that was good, I hoped not. And, with all of these questions screaming at the same time in my head, I questioned him once more, apprehension quite audible in my voice now "Dad, is something wrong? You're scaring me"

"No, honey..., no, just the opposite" He said at last, realizing his approach was not helping his case whatsoever "Me and Sue are… getting married"

"Oh, wow, congratulations, dad! I'm so happy for you" I sincerely expressed, surprised by the news for sure but still happy for Charlie. At least he was able to move on, I only wished I could do the same.

"Ah, good, I was scared how you were going to react to the news" He admitted sheepishly, the nerves slowly leaving his voice.

"Why? I should be last person to judge, besides, all I want is your happiness; nothing else matters to me" I tried to reassure him as best as I could, though, I wished my voice was little more convincing. I hadn't lied but something about those news made me incredibly happy but also sad at the same time. But, the thing was: this was not about me, it was about Charlie's happiness.

"I know, honey, and believe me there are no words that make me as happy as the ones you just spoke, but after everything you have been through this news must seem a bit out of place for you" He murmured, knowing me too well but for once I wanted him to focus on himself and his own happiness not my ball of emotional misery.

"No, not at all. A little bit of positivity was just what I was needing, you don't need to worry about me dad, really" I lied as convincingly as I could muster.

"I will always worry, Bells, I'm your father after all" He said rather matter-of-factually, although his tone was gentle, even for him "But enough about me, how have you been?" He questioned, turning the tables. I almost let out a sigh for I was dreading the conversation that would follow – I would have to lie.

"Better, I'm staying a few days in Denmark sightseeing and it has done me wonders"

"Wow, Denmark, hum? Fancy. But are you all by yourself? I mean, I'm glad you're feeling better but spending so much time alone is not good for you either" He asked, his tone a bit worried once more as I was sure images of my depressive state after my eighteenth birthday were circulating through his mind, haunting him. As such, I was determined to assure him that I was perfectly fine and dealing with everything splendidly. More lies.

"No, dad, don't worry, I'm with Carlisle" I said without thinking and than realizing how that statement might look I added "...And a few other friends"

"Dr. Cullen came with you? That is very generous of him, but I suppose this must be a difficult time for him too. Well, either way I'm more rested that you are amongst friends and distracting yourself" Charlie said, satisfied, his voice calmer.

"Yeah, we came to visit a few of the family's old friends and it has been great. Everyone is really lovely and you should see how beautiful everything is" I continued to lie to sound believable but every lie was killing me a little bit more inside. I hated doing this, especially to him.

"Well, maybe, when you come back home you can show me some pictures? Over dinner, at the house?" He asked, discretely. I knew what he was doing and it hurt more than what I had initially imagined when I decided to leave. He shouldn't have the need to ask me to come over like this but I knew it was I that created these feelings in him, this constant worry and insecurity.

"Ah… sure, of course" I answered, not really knowing if I should compromise with something of this nature when I didn't know if I was going to be alive in the next few weeks "But I don't know when I will be back though"

"No, problem, we have got all the time in world. But you will at least be back in time for the wedding, right?" He asked, now a bit worried by my words. As such, I thought that a few more white lies wouldn't hurt, after all, I had said so many already that what were a couple more? What a disgrace I was.

"I should hope so, when is it?"

"July 27"

"I will be there, dad; I promise" And I really meant it. If I was still alive by than, I would do this last thing before leaving for good. I had to make sure my dad was happy and know that he was going to be okay without me in his life. Not that I was much more present now, but, still.

"Good, I'm glad you had a spot for me on your schedule" I heard him smile once more as he lightheartedly joked "Just kidding, thanks for supporting me, Bells" He expressed, seeming truly happy, ecstatic even which were big emotions for Charlie. I had to admit I had never heard him so happy before in my entire life.

"No problem, dad"

"Oh, and, please, invite Dr. Cullen for me if you don't mind. I wanted to thank him for taking care of you when I couldn't" He added unexpectedly.

"Okay, dad, I will tell him"

"Thanks, Bell"

"No problem; hey, dad, I got to go but we will talk soon, okay?" I said as I needed to end that conversation soon. I did not know why I felt so emotional talking with Charlie and hearing about his big news but something in me hurt, deep inside. As such, I couldn't keep pretending to have it together for much longer. Though, the worst thing about my situation was that I could not even be alone as I was quite aware that there was another vampire listening in on this entire conversation.

"Okay, Bella and don't forget that you can call me anytime"

"I know, dad, thanks" And then I added "I love you" Which was not something that I usually said to Charlie but, again, I felt like saying it now. What if it was the last time? There was a pause from the other side as I knew he did not expect these words coming from me but fortunately he was able to answer back with:

"Love you, too, Bells"

"Bye"

As I hanged up it took every inch of my strength not to sigh or show any kind of emotion. As such, I opted for the best course of action possible at the moment – unpacking. Reaching for my bag I took from its interior a few of the books I brought with me, looking for the best fit for my current mood. Although, after much looking, I ended up choosing the same Jane Eyre copy I had been reading on my way to Brazil.

With the book in hand, I walked towards the bed and sat on it, sinking slightly into it, the silk covers soft against my marble skin. As I did so, Carlisle, who's gaze I had felt the entirety of those short but ever so long minutes, approached the bedroom area in my direction. God, not now. But I had, once more, nowhere to run. I seemed to have become a bit of habit between us.

"Are you alright?" He asked with caution as he walked closer to where I was.

"I'm fine" I answered, my voice controlled, still with my gaze on the book in my hands.

"Bella…, your promise" He reminded, making me regret our conversation in his study. Why had I promised him such a thing anyway?

"Right, the promise" I expressed with an annoyed sigh. I heard him smile lightly as he sat down beside me "Well, if you really want to know…" I looked at him through my peripheral vision in search of confirmation to continue. He nodded lightly, waiting for me to proceed "I know I should be happy for Charlie, and I am, but I don't know… something about this makes me feel… melancholic, sad… about what was and what isn't anymore, about the fact that everyone seems to be moving on with their lives while I'm still tangled up in the past" I confessed, fearing his words or even his opinion of me.

"All that you're describing seems quite normal to me, after all, you're still grieving" He comforted, placing his hand lightly on my shoulder, my eyes meeting his due to the gentle gesture "As such, don't compare your journey to anyone else's, not your father's, not mine… you have your own time to fully heal, if you wish it…" He left that possibility bloom around us for a few seconds as I knew perfectly well this was he's way of saying live "Don't apologize for feeling everything that you feel as it does not make you a bad person only an undead human, but a human nevertheless"

"God, you have such a way with words you almost made me believe them" I uttered, a melancholic smile blossoming of my lips, not reaching my eyes. He returned my smile.

"Well, then you should" Carlisle murmured with an amused smirk on his lips.

"Thanks…"

"But you had also mentioned that you were conflicted about what once was and what it is not" He reminded me, a seriousness returning to his features "What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, no you don't, mister, now it is my turn to ask the questions" I interjected, crossing my arms, gazing at him with an annoyed, inquiring look. He did not seem to understand my meaning but it was quite alright, he would soon.

"I do not follow"

"Let me enlighten you, Mr. Melbourne" I remarked, lightly raising a brow. I contemplated his features as he gradually realized my meaning.

"Bella-"

"Don't Bella me; what were you thinking?" I questioned, my frustration from moments ago returning to me faster than what I truly wished.

"Listen, I know it is not the most orthodox thing but we needed a cover and since we are together it was the first thing that came to mind" He explained with a frustrated sigh "If the Volturi are indeed here they would know of our presence if they heard the Cullen name around and that is if they don't recognize our sent in the meantime. As such, a fake identity was our best option" He concluded matter-of-factually.

"And I'm completely on board with that, but why does having a fake identity rob me of having my own room?"

"It would look strange for a married couple to sleep in separate rooms, don't you think?" At that I had nothing else to add for I knew he was right as much as I did not like it. After all, privacy was getting more and more difficult to come by these days "In any case, we are not going to spend much time here as we have a long search ahead of us"

"I suppose, you're right" I expressed in complete defeat "Sorry about the fuss" Hearing my pathetic apology he started to get up from the bed.

"Ah, no need for apologies, I understand; After all, I am man and you are a woman" He remarked with a shrug as took his jacket and walked towards the door of the suite "I will patrol for a while to see if any of them are here and to make sure we were not followed" He informed "You will be alright while I'm gone?"

With those words, I woke up from my daze, still almost unable to form a complete sentence but, thankfully, I managed it.

"Yes, of course. See you, later"

As I listened to subtle click of the door as it closed behind him I lied on the bed, letting out a big sigh. If I were human, I would have turned all shades of pink after hearing his words. It was not only embarrassing but I also had never thought of Carlisle that way before and I did not want to admit it, not even to myself, but I felt something in those moments.

I placed a hand over my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Was I so desperate for attention that now I was going insane? Yes, probably.

I laughed out loud at how ridiculous I was being. I was over reacting that was all and as such I decided to brush those feelings aside, ignoring them. They were nothing. They would only become something if I gave them the power to be and that would be a very sinful thing to do. There were too many reason why those feelings were wrong, as small and insignificant as they were.

Not wanting to dwell in those thoughts a second longer, I reached for the book still in my hands and picked up where I left off last time. And so, for about an hour and a half I turned myself off and allowed my mind to wonder to a different time, to a different place and body and just be Jane. Those kinds of moments were by far my favorite. Where for a brief piece of time the fantasy became my reality, the main character's emotions merging with my own placing a perhaps too temporary bandage on my emotional wounds. Unfortunately, these precious moments were ever fleeting, never lasting quite long enough. One had to face reality sooner or later. Even me.

As my eyes cast themselves on the big windows around the suite with the light of the moon illuminating the sky and the water below, Carlisle arrived with two opaque cops of soda and a large map on his hands. First I thought it strange for him to bring us soda, I was not like we could drink it and enjoy it and boy, what I would give to be able to feel it's taste at the moment. But then I smelled the blood – sheep, it seemed. Realizing what he had done I was immediately grateful for his odd choice to feed this time. For once being an undercover mission was working on my favor. One would only have to guess how long that would last.

"The coast is clear, I haven't seen or smelled anyone of our kind, much less one of the Volturi anywhere near the hotel; here" He reported as he extended one of the cops to me "I also found this map of the city, thought it could help us scan the area better"

"That is good news all around, you did good" I said taking a sip of blood "And thanks for this" I said pointing at the cop in my hands as I walked towards the couch were he had just sat.

"You don't have to thank me" He uttered suddenly unable to sustain my gaze "I just noticed it has been difficult for you to… feed"

"You did…?" Was all I mustered to say, not wanting to believe that someone else other than myself was aware of this miserable fact. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, not knowing any longer if I was grateful for his thoughtfulness. He did not need to concern himself with this, nor anyone else for that matter.

"The last time we all went hunting together you seemed to be having difficulty... killing your meal, so, I thought…" He explained, reviling his guessing game. How did he know me so well? Perhaps too well.

"How did you…?" I wondered in disbelief "I thought I had been discrete, after all, it is so silly, a vampire repulsed to kill it's pray" I said, my gaze lowering to the cop full of blood on my hands. I really should have been more careful, but there was nothing I could do now – he already figured it out.

Though I could not lie, I was frustrated with this. Ever since I turned I hid it from everyone, even Edward, so no one would worry or give me some kind of speech about my choices. I didn't need to hear those things. I couldn't take it back after all.

"Not discrete enough to fool me, and you are not silly" Expressed Carlisle, plugging me from my thoughts "I would like to tell you that it gets… easier with time but I would be lying"

"I suppose I always thought that killing an animal would not be as difficult as killing a human but I'm starting to think that perhaps I was wrong" I confessed, surprised at his lack of judgment and even understanding. I always thought he had never struggled with this kind of thing but again I seemed to be wrong. As such I felt comfortable sharing my real opinion on the matter "After all, taking a life is always taking a life, animal or not"

Hearing my words, he leaned back on the couch, his eyes contemplating the beautiful ceiling above us as a melancholic smile emerged from his lips.

"You are discovering the harsh truth; It was never easy for me either" He admitted, his thoughts seeming to suddenly be miles away from where we stood.

"For you? But you seem to be so at peace with it, with this way of life" I inquired, still not understand this new Carlisle that was before me, perhaps, the real one and not the perfect person I had made up in my mind.

"It is all for show, just a big performance for others to see…"

"Then, how could you do it for so long?" I asked in a low whisper. Hearing these words, he sat up straight again and looked me in eyes, not even a drop of amusement on his features. I had never seen him in such a way, so serious.

"As I told you once before, years and years of practice" He recalled one of our conversation in his study, particularly the one on my eighteenth birthday. It hurt me to remember that time, to remember how naive I had been "I had to be the rock for my family and now for you too" He explained, though, I sensed there was more to his reasons than the ones he had just exposed.

"But you can try to be honest with me" I suggested in an attempt to understand him more, to get to know the real Carlisle. And to make sure he understood my determination I added "Just like I'm trying to be more honest with you"

"Bella, forgive me for my candor but you can barely handle your problems, how could I place that burden onto you?"

"It is not a burden; it is more of an emotional transaction between two parties" I tried to persuade.

"I don't think it is fair" He disagreed. I sighed discreetly. Sometimes he could be as stubborn as I was.

"Oh, but it is, after everything that you have done for me and continue to do, I think it is only right that I am at least here for you, when you need me"

"Bella, I don't know…" He said, his eyes compassionate and it was then that I knew I had won this battle.

"Will you at least try?" I pleaded, throwing his own arguments at him "Don't forget you made me do the exact same thing and if the roles were reversed you would say that I'm right and you know it" He sighed in defeat, placing his cop on the coffee table.

"Alright" He agreed as genuine smile involuntarily grew on my lips "But only as long as you keep your promise" He added with a small grin, binding me to that deal.

"Fine by me" I answered with a shrug as I took another sip from my cop. And then I remembered another subject that we really needed to discuss "Oh, I almost forgot to ask you; are you coming to Charlie's wedding?" I questioned, knowing he had listened to the whole conversation and already knew about the invitation.

"So, that whole conversation wasn't a stage play from your part?" He asked with an amused smile on his lips "Are you really considering going?"

"Yes, I am" I informed him, with an annoyed but playful smile on my lips in reaction to his comment "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, no, not at all" He replied, the smile he wore growing ever larger "That is very good news, it means there is still hope" With his explanation I understood the meaning behind his words, making me feel slightly irritated but also blue.

"Carlisle…, no there isn't" I told him for the thousandth time "I just wanted to do this last thing for my dad before I go, make sure he is happy and content and most importantly, that he doesn't need me anymore" I explained in order to make him understand that I certainly hadn't changed my mind about joining my beloveds, nor had I any plans to.

"He will always need you, Bella" He said, the smile disappearing from his features, a seriousness returning to them.

"No, he won't; He has Sue now" I argued back, trying to justify the unjustifiable. I knew I as being selfish once more and I did not need to hear it from him.

"That is different, she could never replace you"

"Carlisle, are we going to have this discussion again?" Said I, in an attempt to cut that conversation short, as I could not disguise the frustrated tone in my voice.

"No…" He uttered in defeat, disappointment mirroring on his features "It seems fruitless anyway"

"It is"

"But to answer your question, no, I'm not thinking of going" He informed me unexpectedly "I don't feel particularly comfortable with the idea of…"

"Of...?" I asked sense he stopped himself from finishing that sentence for a few seconds, making me impatient to know his motives for such choice of words. Unfortunately, on that exact moment his phone started ringing. I sighed in frustration, the opposite of him who seemed to have been saved by the bell.

"It's Zafrina, I have to take this; It could be important" He informed me.

I nodded in agreement as he got up from the couch, understanding that he just wanted to escape my inquiries. No matter, I would find out eventually what made him uncomfortable about attending Charlie's wedding as none of that story made any sense to me. He had always liked Charlie; why would he refuse such an important invitation?

I listened as he talked to Zafrina and apparently it was indeed nothing of much significance. She inquired if we had already arrived in Denmark and what our progress was. Carlisle told her everything that happened, which was not much to begin with and asked how things were on their end. They hadn't left for Italy but would in two days. And with that last piece of information they said their goodbyes, ending the phone call.

He sat down on the couch again, placing his phone in the back pocket of his trousers.

"Everything seems to be going smoothly; Seth sent you a virtual hug" He told me, a small smile smirk on his lips. I returned it.

"Yes, I heard him"

"I hate to admit it but I miss that kid" He confessed as his smile grew thinking about our young friend.

"Me too…" I agreed, nostalgia evident on my tone. But then I reminded myself that I could not let him run from our previous conversation; I needed answers and to know if I could count on him "Listen, about what we were discussing before… whatever your reasons are for not coming to the wedding, I respect them… but with that said, I would like you to reconsider. It would all be so much easier with you there; I would at least have someone I know with me" I pleaded, embarrassed by my confession and request, though it was the truth. I had thought about it since the moment Charlie mentioned it.

"There are probably many people that you know attending, Bella, you won't need me" He tried to refute my arguments, a seriousness erasing the smile from his features.

"But do they know me like you do?" I left the question linger in the air around us, looking at him directly now "You will know what I will be going through that day and the others won't" I tried to explain "I know I'm being selfish right know, but I don't know if I can do it without you"

"No, I'm glad to know that you are finally being a little selfish for a change" He expressed with a gentle, understanding smile "It seems my conversations have been doing something after all" He added in an attempt to lighten the mood, though, I did not allow myself to be taken in by his joke.

"So, you will do it?" I asked, eager to take the answer finally out of him. He sighed as his smile blossomed.

"With a request like that, how could I refuse?"

"Thank you so much, it means a lot" I expressed in great contempt, mirroring his own features.

"I'm just glad I could make you smile that is all" He confessed.

"But will you ever tell me why it is difficult for you to attend the wedding?" I pressed cautiously, not wanting to push my luck, after all, did not want him to feel like he had to tell me if he didn't want to, though it was a matter that concerned me.

"Maybe another time" He said not to my surprise.

"Okay, but don't forget what you promised before" I reminded him. To that he smiled gently.

"I said I was willing to try and I will; perhaps, just not right now"

"Alright, but don't forget our pact" I said once more sense I also had a promise to keep.

"How could I forget?" He said as his smile widened.

"That reminds me, I should really take a shower" I said I finished my meal and got up front the couch, satisfied with the results of the conversation "See you in a few"

"Of course"

I reached for my rather large bag and took everything that I needed with me to the humongous private bathroom. As I got inside the shower and the water started falling above my head, I decided it was indeed time to think a little clearly, now that I did not have Carlisle's presence around me.

I could barely believe I had actually accepted going to Charlie's wedding and had managed to persuade Carlisle into going as well. I wondered if it was a mistake to pressure him like that. Perhaps I should have said nothing at all, after all, I was a big girl and should be able to handle the day quite well but… there was something about his energy that made my whole being calm. He seemed to be the only one that truly understood what I felt, what I was going through and accepted me, flaws and all. I felt at home with him, especially since that day in his study where he reassured me I was not a burden. It was still hard for me to truly believe it but it was starting to feel quite real. Maybe we could really be there for each other like a true family. At least until I left this world. I could only hope he would find his peace too as it seemed something was also haunting him. The way he felt almost repulsed by attending Charlie's wedding did not make any sense to me and I felt there was a lot more to that story than what I knew. I wondered what it could be.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I got out of the shower and dried my body. After that, I slipped into some comfortable clothes since we where only going to the palace in the morning with the other tourists in order to blend in just in case we encountered other vampires. As such, I spend most of the night reading my book, ending up finishing it. I felt slightly empty after that, as it always happened when I finished a good story and this one I could not tire of. Maybe it was because I secretly wished to be worthy of such an ending, that spite everything and everyone's mistakes there was a triumph in the end – love wins. Oh, what a notion that was. Only in novels did it seemed to live and thrive, such where my fantasies.

As I closed my book it was already past ten am and as such I decided to get dressed and prepare my camera for the job. Though, also with the intent to keep my promise to Charlie – I was going to attempt to bring him as much pictures as he could delight himself with, in order to show that I truly was alright. At least that was the plan. When I was finished, me and Carlisle headed downstairs, leaving the hotel and walked quite casually to the palace since it only opened at 11 am.

The weather as quite chilly, not that I felt it per say but it was obvious by the smell and taste of the air, the people walking past us grabbing onto their coats, their skin with less color and rosier. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful morning and as such I took many pictures: of the people around us, enjoying their coffee at the local pastry shops, the birds, the water and the boats adorning it, the houses and their colors. Even the sky and landscaped composed by all of the above. Thirty four pictures were already in my card; I was satisfied. As we arrived at the palace, I took one last picture of it and headed with Carlisle inside and into the quite large queue in front us.

About thirty five long minutes later, we finally managed to get inside of the building accompanied by other tourists as our guide showed and talked about the history of the palace. Me and Carlisle scanned every room we where in, looking for something, anything, that could be a clue left by Alice. Thought, by the end of the tour we where both disappointed. There seemed to be nothing at all inside palace but since we were moving through the various rooms too quickly, we decided to stay for as long as possible and keep looking. Unfortunately, we couldn't move as fast as we liked and needed to be as discrete as possible sense there were cameras around filming our every move. I busied myself with taking pictures of every inch of the building while Carlisle drew on his small sketchbook. We both pretended we where doing something useful, after all, both of us needed a good excuse to stay for that long inside the palace.

We left at closing hours, 4 pm, without any more enlightenment than when we first arrived that very morning. If I had to be completely honest, our situation did not look good. What were we to do? We found nothing and wondered if a possible Alice clue could be in any of the other rooms closed to the public. Though, we were both aware that it would be impossible to get in after closing hours. It would take a miracle actually. Even as vampires, with the security cameras turned on twenty four hours a day it would be quite a feat to get in unnoticed, especially because the royal family lived in those grounds. But it was not impossible, at least that was what Carlisle was telling me as we were leaving theAmalienborg.

We were walking back to the hotel when the window of a vintage bookshop caught my attention. There was a book in the left side corner with a very beautiful cover. It depicted a young woman, in clothing belonging to the 18th century, her face seemed to be open and obvious but there was a mystery in those eyes that intrigued me, I almost felt like I could have known her somehow. I could not understand the title for it was in danish but I still felt the urge to buy it.

"Bella?" Carlisle called, noticing my hesitation. His voice plugging me from those silly thoughts. I bit my lip, filling ridiculous. The day really had me worn down if I was already feeling affinity with paintings of people that died a very long time ago.

"It's nothing, I just thought I saw something"

Returning to the hotel we dived into a very long and tedious process of figuring out how we were going to get into the rest of the palace without being noticed. And for the next several weeks and with a help of a few not so legal individuals, we were in and out of the palace all day long, looking and looking. It seemed to be turning into a habit with us – spending way too many days, weeks, and months looking for tiny clues. It was becoming quite irritating actually, the desperation to save Alice and Benjamin. It almost seemed hopeless, but we could not give up because they could still be alive although even if that was true it was not what worried me the most. In what state would we find them? What had the Volturi done to them? I could not even dare to imagine, I just couldn't. The search on Zafrina and Embry's side wasn't much better either which was not comforting whatsoever. It all seemed to be going nowhere as we ran back in circles trying to understand Alice's message. What had she seen?

With all of this, a month and a half had passed and it was alright the 9th of May. We were coming back yet again from the palace and as we entered our room and closed the door, Carlisle mentioned he needed to go back to look at something. I thought nothing of it and busied myself with looking at the pictures I had taken over the last few weeks. I already had about 340. Charlie would certainly be pleased to see them. At least I hoped he would. We had spoken very little over the previous month sense I was so busy with the search, but the minutes we did talk were quite precious to me. I ended up laughing out aloud as he told me how he was navigating all of the wedding preparations. Horribly as expected, like father, like daughter it seemed.

I was reminiscing about these memories with the silliest smile on my face, which was quite a rare thing nowadays, when Carlisle came back to the suite with something not so carefully hidden behind his back. I raised a brow in his direction, my smile morphing into a playful smirk as he walked in towards me.

"What is this all about?" I questioned as he extended a carefully wrapped box into my hands.

"I got you a little something" He stated as if it was nothing important, though, there was a slight excitement and expectation in his expression that he simply could not hide. That only made me more curious.

"Whatever for?"

"We have both been so down lately, with everything that could go wrong going wrong in our search that I thought I should do to something to cheer us up" Was his explanation as he sat down on the bed beside me.

"Us?" I inquired, not understanding what in the world could he mean but even without seeing his gift I was already most grateful. It was the first time I felt excited about something in what seemed like forever, so one could indeed say his plan already worked.

"Will you open it or not?" He said with a sigh, an amused smile blossoming from his lips.

"Alright, alright"

I carefully opened the box and found inside four different items. The first was the book I had seen before at the bookshop which surprised me. I was about to thank him but he gestured for me to look at the rest of the gifts. The second item was a danish dictionary, together with a notebook and a pen. I looked at him, inquiring the meaning of all of this.

"I noticed that you were curious that day about the book and thought that perhaps you would like to learn a little bit of danish and read it yourself" He explained, his features gentle "That is if you don't mind having me as your teacher"

"Not at all, thank you so much!" Said I with a most grateful smile "I don't even know what do say… I mean, are you sure you're up for it? You will need a lot of patience" I warned.

"Nonsense, it is a much welcomed distraction" He guarantied, returning my smile.

"So, when do we begin?" I asked, perhaps, showing too much excitement over something so small but with everything that had been going on, my mind needed something like such to focus on. Carlisle truly knew how to calm my soul.

"Right away, if you wish it" He replied, understanding my need for a good distraction.

"Then, do lead the way, professor" I joked, gesturing for the two available seats at the table in the middle of the room.

As such, we stayed like so for hours upon end. It was about four in the morning when we decided to call it a day. I was quite pleased with myself and had learn many things for a beginner, though, with Carlisle as a teacher and me being a vampire it was much easier than it would have been in other circumstances. Nevertheless, it was fun and for the whole of those hours I did not think about the search, not even once. Which was a very good thing.

I was closing my new notebook, when I finally decided to ask the question that had been on my mind since that day at the bookshop.

"Well, we have been working for hours but you haven't told me what the book is actually about" I pointed out, curiosity palpable in my voice. He smile lightly, not surprised by my question.

"It's about the life of one of Denmark's most famous queens, Caroline Mathilde. It is actually one of the greatest real love stories of the country, quite famous" He revealed as I looked at him in complete surprise. I hadn't expected something of the sort whatsoever. An historical romance maybe but not much more than that. I was even more intrigued and curious to read it than before.

"And does it have a happy ending?" He smirked lightly hearing my question.

"You will have to read it to find out"

"Thanks a lot" I uttered, ironically.

"If I told you now it wouldn't be as fulfilling to read it later would it?" He questioned with a knowing look.

"I suppose you're right" I answered with a sigh, eager to find out more about this mysterious queen "Like always"

"Not always, I am no God" He contradicted with a most serious expression weighting on his features. I must admit I did not expect this sudden change of mood as I seemed to have struck a nerve in him.

"But you are wiser than most people I know" I tried to justify my comment, but it mattered not, he seemed truly disappointed by my view of his character.

"I also lived longer than most people you know; that doesn't mean I'm perfect" He argued, an almost ironic tone to his expression "I have made my share of mistakes, enough to last a lifetime of regret" He admitted.

"That simply cannot be true" I tried to comfort, my eyes gentle, not really knowing what to do and how to get out of the situation I put us in with my stupid comment, as I placed a supportive hand on his shoulder "You are a good man, Carlisle"

"Bella, you see me as this perfect being, just like you saw my son, but I'm far from perfect. What you need to understand is that our kind might have super senses, strength and an immortal life but at our core we are still human; our emotions, our minds, they are quite human and humans are not perfect" He tried to reason, thought, I was not ready to admit defeat quite yet. I refused to believe such things about such a kind and compassionate person. The person that had helped me the most with navigating my grief could not be all of those horrible things.

"But don't you usually say that the best part about humans is the fact that they are imperfect beings?" I controverted.

"Touche, although you cannot compare the sins of a vampire with the sins of a human" He tried to explain to me, that statement making me look at him in the eyes now. In them I found the same regret of our conversation on the previous month. It didn't feel right, those emotions in his features. They did not belong there, not in my world. This was not the Carlisle I thought I knew.

"Why not? Humans kill too" I questioned in a low whisper.

"There are mistakes worst than killing another" He replied on the same tone, his eyes looking onto mine with a truth I could not shake. This was it. This was what he truly thought, his true feelings. I already knew he felt damned beforehand but I did not imagine it was to this extent. I found myself thinking that I would give anything to make him stop feelings this way. But than again, I knew nothing.

"Than, what do you regret, truly?"

But before he could answer, he was once again saved by the ringing of his phone. It was becoming an inconvenience at this point as every time I thought he would finally open up to me there always seemed to be something getting in the way. Maybe it was the universe telling me that perhaps I did not want to know what regrets a 300 year old vampire had. Was it truly such a dark secret that he was this afraid to share it with me? Did he think that it would scare me away? Perhaps. And I could not guaranty him that it wouldn't.

He picked up the phone, his eyes still locked onto mine, and it was Zafrina on the other end of the line. It appeared that she had good news for us. They had found something at St. Mark's Basilica. It seemed that the next piece of the puzzle was about to unravel.

Author's note: Sweet readers, thank you so much for reading chapter 5, it truly has been a journey and if you are still reading I am eternally gratefull as I enjoy sharing this story with all of you and love reading your reviews, thank you for leaving them! I am also very grateful for the lovely follows and favourites! I hope to see you in the next one!