Iris' turn

Mornings in the Crimson Demon Village start a lot like mornings anywhere. The crows of roosters, warm sunlight creeping through drawn curtains, the echoing boom of a monster wandering too close to the perimeter and paying the price.

I slept well, in spite of my heart to heart with Kazuma. And lip to lip. Princess Iris had never had the nerve or the opportunity for it, and it was her loss. He wasn't any more experienced at the business than I was with how heavily chaperoned my visits with Revi had been, but it was far from the horror stories I'd overheard from the staff or my vassals.

Swinging my legs out of the scandalously small, by royal standards, bed came next. I found my gear neatly laid out on a mannequin in the corner, and Rain knocking gently at the door not a moment later. How she always knew was a mystery for the ages. I'd never learned of any such spell for it.

"Your majesty," she bowed briefly on entering, holding another of the practical outfits I'd insisted on for the duration. There was a time and place for full regalia, but this was far from it. And it wouldn't have impressed the Villagers anyway. Unless I could convince them my tiara held a dark and terrible curse, dooming all who wore it to the endless agonies of bureaucracy.

"Good morning, Rain," I nodded back, exchanging my nightwear for her burden. No point in freshening up more than my hands and face when we were likely to be covered in ichor later. "What have our hosts provided for us today?"

"Chief Yunyun and family are still abed," she chuckled, "however our fellow guest seems to have matters well in hand. Also, this arrived with the morning post rider." she added, handing across a sealed message bearing Claire's personal crest as head of Sinfonia House.

"Two mysteries for the price of one, and the sun barely risen," I mused as I sat back down on the bed and opened the letter, unfolding it to find Claire's angular script.

Blessings of Eris upon you my liege,

It is with the greatest hopes of success that I await your missive on the outcome of your most daring, intrepid, even shall I say dauntless pursuit. Though it is an undertaking most worthy of your honored forebearers any of whom would be happy to claim credit for..

Oh, lovely. This was going to be one of those letters. Claire was nothing if not punctilious, but she reserved her most courtly and fashionable language for when her temper was near to boiling and she was maintaining control at all costs. It had been barely over a week since my departure for heaven's sake, I barely had my feet under me to report back. My dread at the task of putting my adventure to words had nothing to do with it.

"'And don't think I didn't notice that quip about my forebears, Duchess Sinfonia,'' I grumbled. She'd made her opinion of my house's tendency to lead from the front and by example crystal clear over the course of our relationship. For my part I maintained that tradition existed for a reason and soldiers noble and common alike responded far better to being led than being driven. Though the example of my father and elder brother made it difficult to gainsay her on the risks.

Let's see, skipping a bit asking for details on what we'd accomplished, it seems the full news of Seresdina hasn't reached the capital yet...Here we are.

please advise on our current stance vis a vis your continued absence from the capital. Our current ploy of maintaining you are present with one of the field forces to the peerage residing here, and in the capital or gracing another force to our commanders seems to be nearing the terminus of its usefulness.

At this time I estimate no longer than a handful of days before I simply must produce a Queen whole and in the flesh to one group or another or face accusations of either your untimely end or abdication and flight to Elroad City for a life of debauchery.

That was irritating, though a quick Teleport to the capital shouldn't unduly inconvenience anyone and would remove the need for me to write and encipher a letter. It was a shame Rizlet wasn't still available for duty as my body double. She had gotten quite good at fielding routine Royal Presence matters for suitable compensation while I had dealt with much more pressing, and exciting, tasks. But her height and figure had come in before mine did, and heels and padding could only do so much, alas. Her husband was an apothecary of note as I recalled, he might have some insight on what we'd brought back from Kazuma's world now that what I was doing was about to become public knowledge anyway.

I filed the thought for later. Onward. Claire finished up her message with a grocer's list of notable happenings. Alongside general stasis at the border forts and frontier were two noble weddings I would need to send congratulations for, and a funeral's condolences. Old age this time at least, all too often it was for one near my age or even younger.

Folding the letter, I left it aside for the moment while Rain helped me into my boots. "It seems I'll need to make a side trip to the capital today for at least a day or two. Is there anything that we should deal with beforehand?"

My aide shook her head. "No, not at this time your Majesty. I believe a morning or two for extra scholarly work will do Kazuma no harm at all."

"Excellent! Now, what has he been up to in the kitchen then?"

As it turned out, something called waffles.

"That smells wonderful," Rain commented wistfully as we entered the dining room to find a silver tray piled with the curious looking quilted cakes along with a selection of fruit toppings.

Kazuma turned from where he was placing a set of sausages on a side plate, then immediately looked back at the plate before collecting himself. "A good morning to you, my ladies," he bowed in Belzerg's style with only a slight hitch from converting it from Japan's version. "And how has the day treated you thus far?"

"Quite well, my thanks for your concern," I answered with equal formality. Good, I knew he could handle the etiquette lessons if he actually paid attention. Relaxing into the chair at the head of the table, I gave a casual wave at our food. "Don't let me keep you, help yourselves. Where did these come from? Beatrice?"

He shook his head. "I wanted to try out how much a new skill could do for something I knew absolutely nothing about, and the Cooking skill seemed harmless. If every skill works like this it's almost cheating."

Given he couldn't even fry an egg last week, that was an understatement.

One of the benefits of the Adventurer class, the only one really, was the ability to master any skill of any other class. The conventional wisdom was the penalty to any stat gains canceled out the admittedly easier leveling for the most part.

"The end results did not disgrace Betty's kitchen, I suppose," the blonde spirit agreed, seeming to appear from thin air and prompting him to jump and half spin to face her. "The beginnings were only fit for dogs, but at least he is one who can be taught. With great effort."

"I love you too, Bee," Kazuma rolled his eyes as he turned back and fixed a plate for himself.

"Shortening my name to Betty is already too familiar for the likes of you," she sniffed. "I shall only make allowances since you gifted a recipe young Sagittarius will approve of."

"He isn't the only one," Rain added. "These are quite nice, how did you get them so crisp?"

"We have a special pan back home for them, with criss-crossed ridges to make them hold toppings better. But thanks to the Cooking skill I knew that a plain grill pan for roasting meat would work almost as well. A little trial and error later…" He shrugged with a bit of embarrassment.

"It might be worth ordering a proper pan for them then, new dishes for working brunches are always welcome. The ambassador from Yurgenschmidt is famous for her sweet tooth," I reminded Rain, who made a slight nod of agreement.

That settled, we sampled the rest of the offerings. Totally ordinary sausages, fried potatoes, and fruit, with the only difference from what would be served on any common table in the kingdom being the unusually high EXP present from being freshly hunted in this particular forest. Claire would no doubt have something suitably refined waiting for me at lunch, but if I had to pick I'd rather have this with a group of companions than be alone in the private salon with the castle chef's finest.

Speaking of. "I received a note from the capital this morning, I'll need to return for approximately the next two days to deal with unfinished business during my absence. I shall leave you in Rain's care until then. I'm certain she can find ways to keep you occupied," I warned Kazuma, who'd begun looking pleased at an unexpected day off.

He glanced at me again, and apparently found some extra motivation since he nodded firmly. "Sure, I might need to brush up. Maybe put in that waffle pan order with the town smith too? If he's good enough for your armor fix then this should be a piece of cake for him."

"Certainly, the metalworkers of all types in the Village are among the finest in the kingdom. I'll leave it to you then. When you do, be sure to discuss any other utensils you think would be useful with him. One can never have too many fresh new treats for jaded noble palates."

The lord and lady of the house arrived then, along with their son who did indeed approve as only a small child can, so I relayed the same message and stayed for a short while before taking my leave.

I sent a reply by Teleport, then spent the next several hours bathing, redoing my hair, and changing into something far more suitable, and equally less comfortable before one of the Crimson Demons teleported me in turn to the plaza outside the palace.

It was by then closing in on lunch time, and the four ceremonial guards were in the middle of changing their shifts. They immediately turned to salute in perfect order, polished breastplates and halberd blades gleaming under the slightly clouded sky. The visible squad of actual guards on the battlements gave a salute as well, fist to chest, from positions at their tripod mounted crossbows on either side of the gatehouse as I passed the outer gates. Within, the inner gate was already swinging open, lighting up the interior ahead of me.

All very intimidating, with the murder holes above and the not quite faded stains in the flagstones from past use, had I not been sneaking out a few times a year since I was a girl.

Duchess Claire Sinfonia awaited me on the other side, alongside a detachment of the palace guard polished to their most glittering best.

As always my Prime Minister looked every millimeter the part, wearing a crisp white suit and tie with a mantle at her shoulders. Cinched at the waist was a blue braided leather belt carrying a rapier, matching the old fashioned stripe dyed in her bangs as a house symbol.

"Welcome, your majesty," she bowed as I halted before them. "The East Hall awaits your pleasure."

"It pleases me to find all is well within my walls. By my leave," I gestured onwards, and the guards formed up around us, Claire joining beside me as we entered the palace proper.

"Your vacation was relaxing, I trust?" Claire murmured softly.

"And productive," I agreed similarly. "You have Rain's report, no doubt?"

She gave a fractional nod while remaining silent as the various functionaries and messengers parted around us at the sound of our escort's boots on the tiled floors.

The palace was only partially the Royal Residence, most of the government also operated within it. Thus while the East Wing was furnished as you'd expect, the rest was somewhat more utilitarian. Soon enough, the tile and woodwork of the working areas gave way to the marble and embroidered tapestries of the Residence.

The East Hall was a bright, airy place thanks to a remodel in my brother's reign substituting Lugunican styled floor to ceiling leaded glass windows in between the arched and fluted support columns. Rain hated the place, she claimed it was unsafe for so much stone to have been removed for the windows. I suspected it had more to do with the feeling of looking over a third floor precipice with nothing blocking your fall that kept her well back from them the rare times she entered.

The current fashion in noble society was to dine lightly in the morning and noon meals, reserving evenings for any serious social feasting. So only a tea set and selection of bite sized sandwiches cut in a variety of shapes kept us company.

"Now then," Claire began as the doors closed behind the stewards, leaving us alone at the round, polished black marble table in the middle of the room.

"But aren't you forgetting something?" I reminded her archly, before she could gather momentum.

With that, she stepped around the table and hugged me close as soon as I stood as well. "Welcome home, Iris. You don't know how worried I was when you went yourself instead of sending Lalatina, nevermind taking days to return on your second trip," she said softly into my hair.

My eyes misted, with Father and Jatis gone she and Rain were the closest thing I had to family outside my nephew Nicholas. Rain had always been too conscious of her status to be more than a close attendant, but Claire had stepped into a surrogate mother role long ago.

"I could hardly send a pregnant woman in my place," I protested, releasing my grip after a long enough moment. Nor would I have sent anyone other than myself under any circumstances, but there was no reason to mention that.

"No, perhaps not," she followed suit, returning to her seat once I had as well. "She was very disappointed, you know, but Alexei refused to hear of it either."

"I could hardly blame her, she missed the experience of a lifetime," I smiled softly.

Claire frowned at that, taking up her cup. "Rain did send a report, days ago, though she seemed to know only little of the details, and…" her face took on a pensive look "What she did report was all so strange. Even were I not being harried daily regarding your whereabouts I would have requested your presence simply to make sense of it all. Before the circus I am expecting from the public announcement descends on us."

There was that. The last time a General fell was years ago, and Beldia was far less hated than Seresdina and her tendency to take hostage whole towns. Even then it was practically a public holiday even without a formal proclamation.

"We needed a victory, and Kazuma gave us one gift wrapped," I agreed instead. "I haven't organized my own thoughts fully, as yet. But I can tell you my first impression when the spell's light faded was of a tall, smooth, stone and glass building stretching higher than the palace towers in the late evening light…"

We worked our way through the tea and sandwiches as I spoke, it was well into the afternoon when I began to wrap up with more current events.

Claire had kept her questions short and few, as I spoke, taking the story in between bites and sips with only the occasional change of expression.

"And this morning he made a delightful breakfast for us. If we can duplicate the recipe, or better still the proper version, it has real potential as a dish for morning soirees. Which does remind me, I should have him order a palm sized pan for finger food sized versions in addition to the larger one."

"I'm sure we can arrange something with one of the smiths. Still, it was bravery bordering on foolishness to challenge Seresdina as he did. Had his plan failed even slightly…" she grimaced.

"Hardly, she had every reason not to kill him. Especially once she believed the choker was attached since it blocked summoning him here. And if she ran before I arrived we were no worse off than if we hadn't tried at all."

"She could have left him blinded, paralyzed, or crippled otherwise as easily as killing him for betrayal," Claire reminded me grimly. "Though I will allow it worked out the best we could hope for. Hopefully his disorientation from his new status passes and he continues to be useful."

I nodded in agreement with her assessment, cold as it was. Much like our tea, the pot itself long since oversteeped and cooled to room temperature, nevermind my cup. But this had been too sensitive a discussion to let the staff have any opportunity to eavesdrop.

Refilling anyway, I realized that until I'd had to put everything from that bewildering day into words I hadn't fully appreciated just how difficult it had to have been for Kazuma to go into harm's way. Especially knowing now how ill prepared and vulnerable he had been, and still was. And yet he'd gone all the same.

There was a lesson in that, perhaps.

A thought for another time if so, Claire was eyeing me speculatively and that was rarely a good sign.

"Count Dulkelfelger's wedding tomorrow morning seems a splendid opportunity to show general society you're very much alive and well. A brief appearance to present a suitable gift of course, no reason to overshadow the proceedings entirely. Though Marshal Tallon is hosting a garden party this afternoon, and he is never one to turn away a chance for prestige…" my supposed ally went on brightly, gladly relinquishing my full share of royal duties into my ever more dismayed hands.