A Witch Makes a choice
In the Land of Departure the gummi ship landed in the yard right outside the castle, and out stepped Naminé. She turned around to face the ship and waved at Donald and Goofy still at the helm. The duo returned her wave and then the ship was gone just as quickly as it had arrived. They had only had time for a short detour to drop her off. Those two still had many places they wished to check. Many places they had visited with Sora during his travels, where they hoped to find him now. She wished them all the best in that effort.
Finding him had been the central focus of Sora's friends lately. She herself had been assisting the gang in Twilight town in combing through their memories as they looked for anything that might assist the search. But so far no luck. She hoped someone would find something soon. He had affected all of their lives in so many different ways. Things just wouldn't be whole before he was back with them.
Truth to be told she was not sure why she had been asked to come here. All she had was a generic message on her gummiphone asking her to come here as soon as possible. Could Aqua, Terra and Ven have found something then? But then why ask for her specifically rather than just notifying Master Yen Sid? Oh well, she would probably find out in just a few moments. She only hoped she had not kept the waiting for too long. A few days had passed before she had been able to respond to their request.
A little perplexed that no one had come to greet her, she climbed the steps and entered the castle. Past the door she immediately noticed two people chatting. Half a second passed before she recognized the pair.
Marluxia… and Larxene!
She scowled with anger, took a step back and raised her fists to defend herself. With her small and slim frame it was a decidedly non-threatening gesture. But even so they reacted with concern to her aggression, for they knew full well the kind of power she commanded. What she could potentially do to their minds if their link to Sora happened to be sufficient.
"Naminé! Wait! Wait!" Terra shouted, rushing to the scene, Ventus and Aqua right at his heels.
"They're not here to harm you." He told her.
"What are they doing here? Why have you allowed members of the Organization here?" She demanded, continuing to glare at them both.
"We are no longer with the Organization. We…" The pink haired man began to say, then paused. "…My name is Lauriam. And this is Elrena. When last we saw each other you were dealing with our Nobody selves. But I promise we have very little in common with those two. And both of us are very sorry about the events at Castle Oblivion. We came here hoping to get help for something very important to us. And to bring warning of a possible threat. All that we would ask of you now is that you hear what we would ask of you and then decide for yourself what you wish to do."
Naminé cocked her head, narrowing her eyes at Lauriam in puzzlement. At that same moment he had the strangest feeling like someoe had just brushed past him. But it was only in his head. Certainly no one had walked past him just now. Then her expression suddenly turned to slight surprise followed by cautious curiosity.
"Do you think this is something worth listening to? Do you trust them?" She asked, pointing her question to Terra, Aqua and Ventus.
"They did save us in the realm of darkness. I don't think they would have done that if they intended to harm us. And… I think Lauriam here is my friend. From a long time ago." Ventus said.
"You think he is your friend? You don't know for certain?" She asked.
"That… is the reason we thought to ask for you in particular. But please come in, so we can explain ourselves fully." Aqua said.
Later they were all gathered in the castle's kitchen, seated around the table. For the second time Lauriam and Elrena told their story. Naminé did note Ven was out of the kitchen while they were telling it. "For his own safety." She was told when she asked about it. As soon as the story was finished Chirithy left to get Ventus.
"So… let's see if I've understood this correctly." Naminé said. "You're telling me that Ven here is actually from a thousand years ago and travelled forward in time."
"So these two tell us. And Ven's Chirithy claims they are telling the truth." Aqua said.
"And what's more, Marluxia and Larxene…" Naminé started.
"Lauriam and Elrena." Elrena corrected dryly.
"Right. They are also his friends from that time…" Naminé continued.
"Lauriam is. I actually haven't properly met Ven until a few days ago." Elrena again cut in.
Naminé gave Elrena a mildly irritated glare, then resumed: "But you say Ventus has lost the memory of those events, of his past. So you asked me here to help restore his memory?"
"Yes, that's exactly it. They have tried just telling me, but that hasn't been enough to give those memories back to me. And Chirithy can't give those memories back to me either." Ventus said, now entering through the kitchen door.
"You might be our only hope of doing this." Lauriam piped up. "Will you help us?"
Naminé took a moment to think. "Do you approve of this?" She asked of Terra and Aqua.
"Truth to be told I don't think either Terra or myself know what to think of all this yet. The claims these two have been making… they've been outlandish to say the least." Aqua said.
"And it's rather hard to overlook the fact they belonged to the Organization." She added, which made both Lauriam and Elrena look at the ground in embarrassment.
"If they had not already helped us… I don't know. But this is Ven's decision to make. If he believes these are real memories he wants to recover, then I'm with him." She concluded.
Terra nodded his agreement as well.
"And you…uh, Chirithy was it? What do you think of this?"
"My role is to help Ven. He makes his own choices, and I'm merely here to advise him and help keep him safe." The spirit replied.
But surely as his protector you must have an opinion on the matter." Naminé pressed.
"There are consequences to either path, so this time I'm unsure which one would be the right one. But I do know his feelings about this. Whatever is decided, I would only wish for him not to be hurt because of it." They explained.
Her eyes turned to Ventus next.
"I look at Lauriam and I… I can feel he is my friend." Ventus said. "And Chirithy knows him too, from some time before. And there are… other images I can't explain. But I don't remember anything else, and every time I try it just… hurts. I know there is something to find here, and it just… frustrates me that I can't get to it. I want those memories back."
Naminé grasped her chin. "If there are fragments like you describe, then you're right. There must be something there. And the heart doesn't forget, even if the mind does. The memories must still be around there somewhere. It's just a matter of reconnecting them. Not easy given how ancient they are, but there might be a chance…"
She leaned forward, looking at Ventus, whose eyes momentarily went glossy. Then she suddenly flinched, stood up and strode to the other side of the room, crossing her arms, "I'm sorry. There is nothing that I can do." She said while staring at the wall, her back turned to the others.
"What? Didn't you just say-?" Terra said.
"I know what I said and it doesn't matter. I can't help you." She said tersely.
"But… there is just no way this is beyond your abilities. You've already done something like this before. You repaired Sora's memory did you not?" Elrena said.
"This is entirely different." Naminé said sharply, rounding on them. "For one thing these memories are now ancient, and have gone unremembered for far too long. They buried too deep. Trying to dig them up again… it would be a thousand times the challenge compared to the things I did with Sora. All the more so because I would have to make sure he forgets none of his current memories. What's more… I glimpsed some of his memories just now. Now I know why he has forgotten it, and why trying to remember hurts him. There are bitter, painful things in there. He didn't just forget them. His heart actively sealed them away to protect him. Because the hurt of them was too much for him to handle. To restore them now would require force, going against the wishes of his heart. And given the nature of his memories… I won't do that kind of harm to him."
"So you could do it. You're just refusing to." Lauriam said.
"That's right. And I stand by that decision." She said, almost in challenge.
"Naminé, please. One of the reasons I was hoping to have Ven's memory restored I'm looking for someone very important to me. She…" Lauriam started.
"I already know of the one you seek. I saw her in your mind. And that changes nothing." She cut him off. "Build your friendship anew from here and leave the past where it is."
"It's important that he remember that past. And he has a right to know it. There are more friends than just I he has forgotten." He pressed.
"He has a right not to have his mind scrambled like and egg! And I won't be one to cause it. I refuse to." She countered angrily.
"Surely this would not be as bad as all that? We have memories from that time too. They can't be that different from his. And we are able to handle them just fine." Elrena commented. But she regretted those words almost immediately. She remembered full well how much those memories had hurt initially when her ability to feel had been restored to her. But after a while she had been able to accept the past for what it was, bringing the anguish under control. The past was full of sorrow, but that sorrow could be controlled by her, put in a small box in the back of her mind, from where it would not be able to come out unless she willed it be so. If Ven would not be able to do the same, if his pain remained for him…
Truthfully in this she was much the same as Ven, having sought to escape bad memories. Who was she to tell anyone they needed to turn around and confront theirs?
"Your hearts made one choice. And his made another. I have to respect that." Naminé replied.
She looked at the ground, her arms still crossed, looking sour. There was an awkward silence, no one willing to push her further.
"Naminé…" Ven said in a low voice. She looked up and saw him now standing in front of her, looking at her with kind, silently pleading eyes.
"You said my heart put those memories away, to protect me. And maybe that was something that needed to be back then. But now… I've changed my mind. I don't know how long it has been exactly, but I've grown since then. I think I'm ready to face that hurt now. I'd like to have those memories back. Please." He said.
Naminé shook her head sadly. "You may have chosen to want those memories back. But if you can't remember this on your own, then your hearts still hasn't changed its mind. It's a subconscious decision that I would have to override. And Ven… you don't know what you are asking me. These memories… they would bring you pain. Great pain. I don't… I wouldn't want to inflict that on you. My powers have caused enough harm already. I would rather not add this to the list."
Ventus bowed his head. "…It could be that you're right. These memories could make me hurt. Perhaps a lot. But so would going through life carrying memories that I can feel but can't get to. Lauriam isn't the only friend I've forgotten about. In know that much. If I focus… I can almost picture their faces. But they're just out of my reach. It was different when I remembered nothing at all from my past. But now that I remember having forgotten them, and still being unable remember them… it hurts, Naminé. As much as the hurts of having my memories restored surely. And if I have to pick between two hurts then I'd rather have the one where I remember all my friends.
He took a step closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm asking you… as a friend… help me with this. Do it for me. Would you?"
For a time Naminé did not respond, simply looking at the ground, hands clasped together in front of her.
"…Might I have some time to think about this?" She asked.
"Sure." Ventus said. She left the kitchen while the others remained behind to wait for her.
"If she still says no, will you two agree to leave it at that?" Terra asked after some fifteen minutes of silent waiting.
"We will have to I suppose. But I am hoping she won't do that." Lauriam said.
"I don't want her to do that either." Ventus echoed.
Lauriam nodded, then continued. "But whatever she decides, I was hoping we would be able to help each other. We intend to search through the worlds. If we come across clues about Sora, or of anything else important, we can make sure word reaches you. In return I would ask you to help us look for..."
He paused, glancing at Ventus. "The person I told you about earlier."
"Sora must be our focus. We will need to resume our search for him when we are able. But I suppose there would be no harm in keeping our eyes open while we're at it." Aqua said.
"Hopefully by resuming you don't mean further excursions into the Realm of Darkness. You're not ready for that, Blue." Elrena spoke up.
Aqua raised an eyebrow at how she had just been referred to. "Well that is not something you need to trouble yourself with." She then said, her tone a fraction icier than before.
"You're right. I don't *need* to do anything. And I suppose properly speaking this isn't any of my business. You'll have to figure things out your own way. But even so that's my advice. It would be a bad move for you to make. And I think it it's important someone say this aloud, given the circumstances. Because I'm not sure who else is around to tell you that." Elrena replied.
There might have been further discussion, but then the door to the kitchen opened and Naminé returned.
"If I do this, then there is a condition I must insist on." She said at once.
"Which is…?" Aqua asked.
"This will only be done once. A single attempt is going to be dangerous enough as it is. There will be many potential perils, and consequences even if I succeed. It would be even worse to do this then seek to undo it. So I will not. Whatever happens as a result, and no matter how much these memories hurt, you will all have to deal with them and move on. Do not look to me to change it all back later, because there is too great a risk things would end up even worse. And you do this at your own risk. I will do all I can, but with something like this I can't promise this will be seamless." Naminé explained.
"With that in mind, Ven, do you still wish to do this?" She asked.
"…Yes." Ventus said after a pause.
Naminé nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'll need to prepare."
"You have a library here?" She asked of Aqua.
"Sure do." Aqua said.
"Good. Maybe it will contain what I need." Naminé said.
"I'll help you look. I'm quite familiar with our library." Aqua offered.
"Thank you." Naminé replied. "The rest of you should remain on call. There may be errands for you to run. But unless we need something of you I don't think you should bother Aqua and I for a while. We will have much to do." She told the others.
"Of course. And Naminé… thank you. For helping us." Lauriam said.
"You can save your thanks. I'm doing this only because Ventus is asking it of me. And he may well not thank me once I've finished. Just be ready in case you are needed for something." Naminé replied, her tone frosty.
"Terra, don't forget. Today is your turn to be on kitchen duty." Aqua said.
"Don't worry, I remember." He replied.
"I can help you out if you want." Ventus offered.
"No, no. I can manage. Just don't expect anything too crazy and I'll be able to keep us all fed just fine." He said.
"I think I'm going to need the kitchen to myself though. So it's better if the rest of you waited elsewhere." He added.
"Sure thing."Lauriam said, and he Elrena and Ventus left. Aqua and Naminé followed through moments later, heading in the direction of the library.
"Gotta say, Naminé is quite intimidating when she takes charge of something. She's obviously grown quite a bit since last time." Elrena commented as they were walking away.
"Tell me about it. So she wasn't always like that?" Ventus asked.
"Oh no. Back during the Castle Oblivion days she was actually very timid. And why wouldn't she have been? She barely knew the world or herself, the poor thing. All too easy for our Nobodies to intimidate and control, unfortunately." Elrena said.
"We should seek to make things up to her as well. We treated her very poorly during that time. I would want to have a clean slate with as many people as possible." Lauriam said.
"It wasn't us that mistreated her. That was our nobodies." She argued.
"We can't pretend we have no responsibility over what we became. We chose to become Nobodies. Twice." He replied.
To that she had no good argument, so she chose to remain silent.
"She did sound rather…worried… about what we were trying to do." Ventus contemplated.
"I have to admit she is not worried over nothing. Not all of the memories from your past are good ones. There are painful ones for both Elrena and I from those times. Without a doubt there will be some for you too."
"So if you are the least bit uncertain, then we can find another way. Naminé did have a point in that we could simply build our friendship again from here." Lauriam said. "If that is something that you would rather do…"
"No. I want to go through with this." Ventus cut him off, sounding determined. "By this point I want this as much for myself as for you. So even if there is a cost, I'm willing to pay it."
Lauriam nodded. "Very well. I guess it's decided then."
"Though if you are set on this course there is one thing I want to say now." He added.
"Oh?"
"It's likely you will run across one memory in particular. There was something that happened that I thought you were responsible for at the time. I want you to know I don't blame you for it anymore. I know the real culprit now." Lauriam explained.
"And… what is it that you thought I did? And who is the one that really did it?" Ventus asked.
"You will understand once your memory is restored. But this is something that I would have you know before that. Perhaps it will make it easier to deal with the rest." Lauriam told him.
Ventus frowned. Despite his earlier experiences he once again tried to think back, trying to figure out what Lauriam could be talking about. But his headache returned almost immediately, making him stop once again. But before he had to he got a faint sense of… regret? And sorrow. Why was there either? Especially after Lauriam had said he was not to blame. Had Ventus considered himself guilty at the time? And what had he thought he had done to bring him sorrow?
The pain in his head forced him to stop that line of inquiry. He supposed he would have to wait for answers to this as well. But it would not be long now until he could finally have his memories back. Just long enough for Naminé to do her work.
"Well, unless they call on us to do something then I guess there is nothing to do except wait for results." Elrena said.
Then she glanced behind herself. "Do you suppose Terra might need us to go buy more supplies? I mean, we have been here for several days now, eating away your food. I imagine you might be starting to run low on some things."
"What? No, no. No need for anything like that." Ventus said.
Elrena gave him a questioning look.
"I guess you haven't noticed yet? The castle has this magic… it sees to the needs of those who reside here. Basic stuff like food can always be found." He explained.
She blinked. "Huh? Seriously? Then why is Terra cooking? Or anyone for that matter? Why can't we just… wish for the meals we want to have and have castle make them for us?"
"That's a quirk in the castle's magic. It only provides ingredients. We've tried to make the castle make ready meals, but we've never gotten it to work." He replied.
"It sounds like whoever built this place didn't want people living here getting too lazy." Lauriam said with a chuckle.
"Yeah. A strange choice if you ask me. But I suppose it's a small price in exchange to never having to worry about running out of food. And if it means I get to enjoy the taste of food again, I've no grounds to complain." Elrena said.
"You didn't enjoy food as a Nobody?" Ventus asked.
"Hard to do that when you don't have a heart. It's not that you don't taste food. But not taste feels particularly good or bad" Elrena said.
"Though obviously it wasn't entirely true for all of us. For instance Axel, Roxas and Xion had their sea salt ice cream thing." Lauriam pointed out.
"True. But those three grew full hearts pretty quickly thanks to their bond. The rest of us had to make do with fledgling hearts, or none at all. Plus I'm pretty sure their case was more about the ritual of having it rather than the taste. At least in the beginning." Elrena countered.
"Not being able to enjoy food… that seems like a shame." Ventus contemplated.
"In hindsight it was." She agreed. "But on the other hand it since you didn't particularly dislike anything you could subsist on anything remotely edible. The downside though is that hunger didn't register as a discomfort either. So if you didn't pay attention you could easily forget to eat."
"You had a lot of trouble with that then?" Ventus asked.
"At times. When I was staying at the castle I could usually keep myself to a strict schedule. That's how most of us solved that problem. But sometimes on longer missions I could get… carried away. We all had that problem, though of course it was a little bit different for all of us. Vexen was the worst. That idiot could get so carried away by his research he worked himself to the point of unconsciousness more than once. The Organization members that worked with him actually had to keep an eye on him because of that." She said.
"I wonder if he was like that before being a Nobody?" She then wondered.
"You know, you might get a chance to ask him. He is working with the scientists back at radiant garden." He said.
"He is? Huh." Elrena said. She had heard of Vexen disappearing a short while before the final battle. But they had not learned a whole lot about that. Ever secretive, Xehanort and his closest selves had told them as little as possible. Not that she had particularly cared. By that point he had already delivered the replicas, which had been the main reason to bring him back to the Organization in the first place. With his role already fulfilled and Xehanort's plan on the cusp of success, the disappearance of a backup member had been of little concern to anyone. And since her only motivation to be in the Organization was Lauriam, she had cared even less. Like she had told Sora, she had only been along for the ride.
That he had switched sides surprised her. She had thought Vexen (or Even she supposed) to be one of Xehanort's loyalists. But maybe she had had him wrong. Or maybe she had just misunderstood how his loyalty worked.
"And there are a bunch of other former Organization members that are back as well." Ventus continued his explanation.
"Hmm. Since we have a while to wait, why don't you tell us some more about recent events? Like who else is back. We should be as up to date on things as you are." She told Ventus.
They settled in to wait, while Terra busied himself with the cooking. Meanwhile Aqua and Naminé were hard at work in the library. Many books had been pulled out of the shelves, arranged into stacks on the tables in the library. Books on how memory worked, how it might be altered and most importantly what methods might be used to ease the process. Anything that might provide them with hints on what they needed to accomplish here. Anything to make their effort quicker and safer.
Admittedly it was a strange subject, and not something Aqua was terribly knowledgeable of. Naminé knew more on an instinctive level, but both of them agreed they could not rely purely on intuition for something like this. They needed more than that. But despite the rarity of the subject, there were surprisingly many books that handled the subject. Like someone had anticipated there being a need for this knowledge. She wondered why that was. She was quite sure it was not the castle's doing. It could create basic goods. Not books.
"I think we are going to need a sleeping potion for Ventus. It will be much easier to do this while he is unconscious. His mind will be a lot more malleable that, and less likely to unintentionally throw up defenses against me." Naminé said, not removing her eyes from the book she was reading.
"We need a potion for that? We can't just wait for him to fall asleep on his own?" Aqua asked.
"Unfortunately we can't risk him waking up while I'm still working. There could be severe consequences if that happened. Best to remove that possibility." Naminé explained.
"I see. Well, a sleeping potion is simple enough. We have equipment for that kind of thing right here in the castle. I'll have one prepared." Aqua said.
"Good. We will also be needing something else for me. Something that lowers my consciousness without putting me asleep. For this to work I need to give myself over to my talents fully, without any other thoughts interfering. Let my subconsciousness do the heavy lifting." Naminé continued.
"So something that puts you in a state between sleep and full consciousness? Okay, that sounds a bit more complicated. I can't name a potion like that off the top of my head, but there might still be one to be found. Let's take a look." Aqua said, taking a book of alchemy into her hands.
"It's a good thing you are here. I would have a hard time finding the right information on my own. It's kind of you to help me. Because I'm sure you have your reservations about this." Naminé said.
Aqua sighed. "Yes. Yes I do. It would be hard not to have them given your warning. But it seems Ventus has already made his choice. The best I can do for him now is making sure everything goes smoothly. I just hope this doesn't end up being a huge mistake. I would hate to see him get hurt because of this. Fortunately everyone here seems to be on the same page on that much at least."
"You did make clear you had your own misgivings. I imagine in no small part because it is Elrena and Lauriam that are among the ones asking it of you." She added.
"Very true. This all feels like some insane déjà vu to me. Here I am again, at their behest, in basically the same castle. Tinkering with the memory of a person that, while not Sora, shares a remarkably close connection to him." Naminé said.
"The difference of course being that this time Ven was also one that asked you to do this. And that no one is going to force you this time around." Aqua pointed out.
"Yes, And it's a relief to know that." Naminé agreed.
"What do you suppose will happen to Elrena and Lauriam after all this is done?" She then asked.
"I don't know. I really don't. I can't even begin to wrap my head around what they are telling us. It's not that think they're not telling us the truth. It's just… so much to take in all at once. So I'm going to point them at Yen Sid, see what he thinks is best." Aqua said.
"You're right. Theirs is a most extraordinary story. If I hadn't glimpsed it Ven's mind I'm not sure I would even have believed it." Naminé said.
"It's strange. Every time we think we have a handle on how things work, the universe does something crazy that redefines everything. And we have to start learning all over again." She pondered.
"Agreed. It's remarkably frustrating how that works. But I suppose we need to take this one day at a time and adapt to changes as they come. Right now that means figuring out this potion formula." Aqua said.
She leafed through her book, mumbling to herself. "No. No. No, definitely not that one. Ok, that could work, but I wouldn't know where to find half the ingredients listed here. What is lyrium even supposed to be in the first place? Alright never mind, ditch that. Find something else…"
"By the way, you said that Lauriam and Elrena helped you in the realm of Darkness?" Naminé decided to ask.
There was a split-second flinch on Aqua's face, and a pause before she replied:
"…That's right."
"Just out of curiosity, what exactly happened? You sort of skimmed over that part." Naminé asked.
"We just had a little trouble with a Demon Tide we ran into there. Even trained wielders like us can have difficulties if we are caught off balance. Those two intervened and helped tip the scales in our favor." Aqua said.
Naminé narrowed her eyes in puzzlement. Had she said something wrong? She could see the sudden tension in Aqua's shoulders, and had heard the slight strain in her response. Aqua meanwhile had returned her attention to her book.
"Here! I think this will be able to do what you need." She said after a moment of further reading.
It's pretty complicated though. Many components, most of them rather unusual. And many processes to go through. Hmm. The castle won't be able to create any ingredients that rare, but there are stores here that might have them. I'll need to check. And then I'll need to get the laboratory prepared…" She said to herself, then walked off.
"Aqua…" Naminé called after her, but the other woman would not heed her. Naminé was left there wondering what had happened. She had left so quickly. No doubt Aqua had been caught up in her task, but Naminé could sense there was more to it than that. Something that Naminé had said had made her uncomfortable. She had wanted to get out of that situation. Naminé was left with the distinct impression she had accidentally trod on forbidden ground just now. Eventually she sighed and resumed her own work.
Dinner time rolled around. Aqua only showed briefly to eat her share, then conscripted the aid of Ventus and Terra in going through the castle stores. Naminé on the other hand did not show. After some time had passed with no sign of her Elrena decided to gather up her portion and go look for her. She found Naminé in the library. She had paused in her reading and was now sketching something.
"Hello there. You missed dinner time. I brought you this." Elrena said, lifting up a tray with a bowl of spaghetti and a glass of water on it.
"Thank you. You can put it on the table there." Naminé pointed with her pen.
"Are you not going to eat?" Elrena asked.
"In a moment. I just need to finish this first." Naminé said.
"You're drawing already?" Elrena asked, looking over Naminé's shoulder to see what she was making.
"Practicing. While Ven has a link to Sora, his mind still works a little differently. Like a different model of a same type of machine. So I thought it would be a good idea familiarize myself with him by examining memories he already has access to. When I have to reconnect the ones he had lost this may improve my chances." Naminé explained.
"Sounds like a good idea to me. Looks like you've got this whole thing figured out already." Elrena said, nodding.
"No. Not really." Naminé said with a sigh. "To tell you the truth I'm making it up as I go. I have the powers we need, but the scale is beyond anything. Reconnecting ancient memories his heart has actively rejected? And I have to do it without him losing any of his current memories, because I can't imagine that would be an acceptable result. That's something I've never tried to do, not even with Sora. There is a thousand and one ways I could make a horrific mess of this and I have to try and find and nail down each of those potential points of failure so this won't end in a disaster. I hope you appreciate the enormity of the task you gave me."
"I'm starting to. But for what it's worth I trust in your abilities." Elrena said.
Naminé chuckled dryly. "I'm not sure that actually makes it better. It just makes me feel like I have to perform to high expectations. But thanks. That's kinder of you than what I expected."
"Is there something else?" Naminé asked after she noted Elrena was still hovering in place.
"Yeah. Just one thing." Elrena said after a pause. "You know, maybe it's too early for this. Or alternatively it's way too late for it. But I've had some time to think today and… I wanted to say I'm sorry. For what we made you do back when this place was Castle Oblivion. Lauriam said we're sorry earlier… and I know without a doubt he meant every word of that."
Naminé stopped, the put down her pen and drawing board. "Yes. I sensed as much with him. But you continue to surprise me. I wouldn't have expected you to come apologize in person. That would never have been something you would do as Larxene. I guess you really are different from her. At least in some ways.
"Wait. You said… you were able to sense it?" Elrena asked.
Naminé nodded. "Power over memories is what I'm known for. Earlier I happened to glimpse some of his more recent memories. I could sense his regret. Something that was never there before. It's why I chose to stay and listen to what you had to say. I was curious to know what had changed."
"So that's why you calmed so quickly. To be honest I wasn't sure how asking you here was going to go. I thought you might still be furious with us. That you'd hold a grudge. I might have in your place." Elrena said.
"You might indeed. I don't think I've completely forgiven you just yet. That will take more time… at the very least. But from his memories I've begun to understand why he did all of that. I'm not sure it's enough to justify what was done. But at least I understand what drove him now."
"You mean his search for Strelitzia? I'm not actually sure that counts in our favor. By that point we had forgotten all about her." Elrena said.
"On some level, yes. But his mission to find her has become etched in his heart. It's a powerful thing when that happens. No matter what he forgets or loses now, that desire will never leave. Only completion can release him from it."
"Really?" Elrena asked.
"Yes. I think that's why he lost his memory when he became a Nobody. Losing his ability to care about her was too opposed to his nature. It could only happen if he could not remember her at all. But even that could not erase his compulsion. That's why he still plotted to take over the Organization, even though he could not recall why he wanted to. And I think also the reason why you wanted to do everything in your power to help him, even if you could not care about anything else." Naminé said.
"Strelitzia… is very important to him. That I know. That search… that hope… it's his light. His reason to carry on." Elrena said.
"…As he is yours?" Naminé asked.
Elrena's eyes widened in surprise. Just as quickly she became annoyed. "That's not something you have a right to know. That belongs to me. No one else."
"Oh. Of course, I'm prying. I'm sorry." Naminé said in a hurry.
Elrena took a deep breath to calm herself. "No. You're the last person who has to apologize for anything around here. Just… don't go into my head like that, ok? I don't want anyone else in there but me."
"Right. Respect your boundaries. I can understand that. But I'm glad I got to know you a little bit better at least. It's always better to understand why people do what they do." Naminé said.
"I suppose. I just hope we do better this time around. More results, less consequences." Elrena said.
"…I should… ah… let you get back to work. There's still a lot to do." She added, then left.
Elrena had just exited the library when Aqua came around the corner.
"Oh. There you are. I was just looking for you and Lauriam. There is an errand for you to run." Aqua said to her.
"About time we got something to do around here." Elrena commented. "So what did you want us to do?"
"There is a potion we need for Naminé. We've searched through our stores, but there are a number of components we are still missing. We'll need you two to go out into the worlds and collect what we're missing." Aqua explained.
"Here, this is a list of the thing we're missing, as well as the worlds where you are the most likely to find them." Aqua said, handing over a piece of paper. "Moogles and other merchants will probably be able to sell you some of them. Meanwhile we'll get things ready on this end. Feel free to hunt down Heartless or do a few side jobs if you don't have enough munny. The rest... I suppose you have to just find somewhere. And keep in mind you have to bring back at least much as the amounts listed. With a formula this complex I can't expect to get it right the first try, so I need enough materials for a few attempts."
"Very thorough. Clear instructions. I like that. Sure thing, Blue. We'll get this done for you. Going to different worlds, chasing after one thing or another, hunting down Heartless while we're at it? That's basically our whole life, from the Unions to the Organization. I'll go find Lauriam right now so we can get started." Elrena said.
"Why do you call me that? I do have a name you know." Aqua called after her.
"Of course you do. And I know what it is, don't worry. But I think I still prefer to call you Blue. So I guess you're stuck with it." Elrena replied over her shoulder.
