Ancestral tools

While the others were meeting with Yen Sid, back in the Land of departure Aqua was pacing restlessly in her room. She of course understood the reasoning she had been asked to stay behind. Without her armor it was impossible for her to go. And Ven did need someone to look after him at this time. And she herself… she needed to steer clear of any and all darkness for a while.

But that also meant she was stuck here. She was fortunately not completely alone. Ven was still here (while still unconscious, she could feel the presence of his heart, which was a comfort), as were Naminé and Chirithy. But those two were busy ensuring that Ven's memory remained intact. Aqua could not really help with that. She would just be in the way. And they on the other hand had little time for anything else right now. Even just going to check on Ven felt like an intrusion at the moment. She did what she needed to do to ensure Naminé remembered to get enough food and rest, being stern about it when she had to be. But beyond that she did not interfere, letting Naminé work in peace.

At the same time she did not feel like just lazing about. Idling didn't feel right, particularly as others were hard at work. And allowing her mind to wander had lately seemed to consistently lead to thoughts she knew it was better not to dwell on. So she would much rather give herself something to distract herself with.

"Alright, I need to think something productive for myself to do before I go crazy from boredom." She thought to herself.

"My armor." She then decided. Its destruction had deprived her of the chance to travel. And even if she had agreed to stay behind this time sooner or later there would be a need for her to go to other worlds. After all, what was the point of a keyblade master that could not leave her own world? She would need to repair her armor, or find a way to acquire a replacement. And at the moment she was unsure of the particulars to accomplishing either. In the past when her armor had taken damage dismissing it and then recalling it had been sufficient to restore it. But this time was very different. This time the damage had been much more catastrophic, even affecting the magic involved. Currently she could not even call on her armor. She needed to figure out why that was and whether or not that could be changed.

Like so often before her search for answers took her first to the castle's library. Perusing through the tomes there she discovered that her armor was indeed repairable. Much like a keyblade, it was an object that did not exist in a physical sense until called upon. Only the pad that controlled it did. But to form the armor it needed to be powered by magic, and hers had been depleted of such energies. At the moment it was just a piece of metal and crystal. She would need to have it recharged. Once that was done her armor should be restored, exactly as it had been before its destruction.

She also discovered recharging the armor's magic required specialized equipment. She wasn't exactly sure where such might be found. But while she had not visited there before, she seemed to recall the castle included an armory amongst other things. It seemed as good a place as any to start looking.

The search for the armory took her some time. She had never been there before after all. As far as she knew Master Eraqus was the only one that had visited it. One morning he had just presented them with their armor when it had been time to receive them, likely fetching them from the very armory she was now looking for. And the castle was much larger than it seemed on the outside. Corridors upon corridors, rooms upon rooms. Sometimes she swore the castle spawned new spaces on its own. And maybe it did. She remembered how during her earliest days of training she had actually gotten herself lost a few times. And Terra and Ventus had had that exact problem in their times. Their home was indeed a strange place. She had lived here for many years, yet she was quite certain she had not learned all there was to know about this place. She doubted even Master Eraqus knew everything. This place was much older than he was after all.

Her thoughts having turned to her old Master, she realized she quite missed his presence. Experienced and steady, his guidance would have been worth more than gold at a time like this. He could have helped her tangle her problem, as well as all these other issues that were cropping up.

Then again, now that she thought about it, she was uncertain how he would react to circumstances like this. He had been a good mentor to all of them and had left them a multitude of good memories. But she also knew he had a history of being very intolerant of any kind of darkness. A sentience made completely out of it, hidden in Ven's heart? She doubted he would have taken that very well. Nor would he have approved of her current condition. He would never have allowed her to reach the rank of keyblade master if he thought there was the slightest chance she might give in to darkness. That was more or less the point of that rank wasn't it? To face down darkness and not falter before it? And she ultimately had. As she was now she would never pass the exam.

Eraqus's solution to controlling darkness had been a simple one: crush it under with the light, keeping it suppressed so it could do no harm. That worked well enough when one's heart was strongly aligned with the light. It had worked for her for a long time, keeping her alive and sane while trapped in the dark. It was the solution she was reaching for now as well. And yet, despite constant effort, it did not seem as effective a defense as it had been in the past. The makeup of her heart had been altered by her experiences. There was no denying that anymore. Things were a lot more evenly matched now. And with her heart no longer overwhelmingly in favor of the light, simply suppressing her darkness was a lot more difficult to do. Without finding a way to alter her heart's balance back to what it had used to be she wasn't even sure that it could be done. And with her past so persistently bothering her, changing her heart back did not seem an easy feat either.

Would Eraqus have accepted that? Or would he have chosen to confine her, deny her chances to flourish out of fear of what she might turn into? Could he even have sought to strike her down for the darkness she was no longer fully able to keep in check? She wanted to say that it was absurd to even consider that possibility. Without question he had cared about all of them. But Terra had told her what their Master had tried to do to Ventus. And what he had chosen to do when Terra had decided to protect Ven from him. If he had decided to take such extreme measures once, why not again?

She stopped herself at that, reminding herself not to judge her Master too harshly. He had made mistakes like the rest of them. But at the end of the day he was a good man. And when they had seen him for the last time he had changed his tune. Before his departure from this existence he had had only kindness towards all of them, including Terra. And this despite the fact his darkness had not gone anywhere. All that had really changed was that he was no longer afraid of it. Not even afraid to make use of it in combat. She had sensed it in his heart during fights. A fury he allowed to empower himself to defeat his opposition.

Had almost anyone else been using darkness in that manner she would have reacted to it with alarm. But when it was him? Oddly enough she found she did not mind. She had fear of the darkness without. And of the darkness within her own heart. But his darkness was not a cause for concern. Because she knew he had it under control. And because she knew he had light in him also. Terra had done the impossible and had brought his light and dark halves into harmony, one of only two people she had ever known to have managed that feat. Both were now his to control in the pursuit of his goals, which were fortunately still aligned to the light. For as long as that was true she had no fear of the darkness he had within him.

Ironic perhaps. A little over a decade ago she had been so worried that Terra might fall to darkness. Worried how he was simultaneously frightened of the influence it had over him, while also tempted by the power it offered. During their first visit to the keyblade graveyard she had even confronted him about it, so sure his tendency would lead him astray again. But now everything was backwards. Now he was the one that was in control. And she, who was such a loyal adherent to Eraqus's purist views was the one who was struggling with her darkness. The one who had cause to be afraid.

"And perhaps what I have been taught is a part of the reason I'm scared now." She then realized.

All her life she had been taught that as long as she believed in the light and remained true to her friends the darkness could never conquer her. She had believed that, and had lived accordingly. And yet, for all her faith in the light, in her friends, the darkness had found a way to overcome her. It had found the cracks in her heart, slowly but surely wearing her down to nothing and finally tearing her open. She had thrown everything she had to give against the darkness, and had lost anyway. In that instant the fundamental truth that had defined her had also shattered. The confidence that had carried her so far had been lost. Afterwards she had tried to keep on believing, reminding herself of the things that had since gone right. Finding proof of the light's triumphs where she could. But worry still gnawed at her. Worry that the light she relied on might ultimately be inadequate against the darkness. And so she was afraid…

She finally reached what she believed to be the location of the armory. She flipped a switch to turn on the lights, then passed through the door, descending a short flight of stairs into the room. As she took in her surroundings he mouth fell open in wonder. There were several racks in the room. And on each there were whole rows of pauldrons with which keyblade armor could be summoned. There long tables as well with miscellaneous items which no doubt could do the same.

How many sets of armor were here? Enough for a hundred wielders? Two hundred? More? Just how many people had their home been meant for? Then again their home castle had at times felt empty if one wandered away from the areas they occupied.

But if this castle was intended for so many, how come the only permanent residents had always been just Master Eraqus and the three of them? She had been used to the idea that there were only a few wielders in existence. Even the dozen they knew of now seemed like a large number. That was just how things were. But did this now imply that once it had been different? And if so, where were those wielders now? What had happened that had seen their castle almost deserted now?

This was certainly a mystery she wanted to share with the others when possible. But for the moment the large number of spare armors was quite a boon. She had thought the armors she, Terra and Ven had were the only ones in existence currently. But clearly that was not quite true. It gave her an idea. She first removed the pad that controlled her armor from her sleeve, placing it on one of the tables. Then she began to take down pauldrons from the racks, placing them on the table as well.

Terra and Ventus had their own armors already, so they would not be needing a second set. But the others… a lot of them did have organization coats or other garments that could shield them from the darkness. But even so keyblade armor had some advantages compared to other forms of protection, for it offered defense against physical attacks as well. No doubt the others would appreciate having such equipment at their disposal. And if troubled times were once again on the horizon, then strengthening their side by whatever means possible certainly would not hurt. She only wished she had known of this earlier. Everyone having keyblade armor would have certainly been helpful against the Organization.

First she set aside armors for Riku, Kairi, and Sora. Sora was not yet back with them yet, of course. But she could have it prepared for him in anticipation of his return. A welcoming gift of sorts.

Next in line were armors for Roxas, Xion, and Lea. Or was it Axel rather? She was still a bit uncertain which of those he preferred. Frankly it seemed to vary from person to person. She briefly thought about gifting Isa a set of armor as well. But one required the power of the keyblade to make use of that armor, which Isa didn't have. So that was beyond his ability. Should he ever gain a keyblade of his own, he would have plenty of sets to choose from. Until then he would have to sadly have to be left without. She hoped he would not be too upset about that. She did not know him very well, or indeed anyone of that particular gang, but she had no desire to antagonize anyone.

When it became time to choose Mickey's armor, there was some hesitation. Eventually she decided to leave selecting that one until later. Mickey was of somewhat unusual size and shape, so she needed to look through the other items to find something that would suit him. And she needed to double check with him to make sure he did not already have keyblade armor, so she would not end up wasting her time.

Those were the practical reasons for her hesitation. The ones she told herself. But deep down she also knew there was more to it. She had tried to let go of it and move on from, but like with so much else, she had not entirely been able to. She would never have allowed it to show, but some resentment toward him lingered on. He had after all left her in the Darkness for more than a decade, not even mentioning to anyone that she existed. Had he even remembered her, or her friends during that time? She did not know. She had put off having that conversation with Mickey, knowing it to be unavoidably unpleasant. In any event, being left behind for so long had certainly left its mark. Would her heart ever have been scarred this badly if not for him?

Then again she needed to keep in mind helping her had not been a simple matter. A decade ago they had not had the means to reliably get in or out, much less survive once there. Mickey's first intrusion into that place had been a reckless stunt done without much forethought, one which could have easily ended as badly for him as her own stay. And as for not telling anyone of her… that had been done under Yen Sid's orders, to make sure no one tried anything stupid. Her head could accept that line of reasoning, even though somewhere in the deep recesses of her heart the knowledge of it still hurt.

She had to wonder… if their roles had been reversed, if Mickey was the one left stuck in the Realm of Darkness and she was commanded not to try a rescue or tell of him to anyone… would she have done it? Would she have been the good obedient wielder she was always expected to be? Or would she try to help him despite those orders? Despite knowing she might actually lack the means to do anything and might just get trapped alongside him? Would she have risked it all for the slim chance she could find a way? She was unsure of her answer, and that bothered her.

And though she tried to push it aside, there was another more unpleasant thought that drifted to the surface. Had they wanted to save her before they had? Or had she only been rescued because soldiers had been needed for the fight with Xehanort? If that need had not existed, would they have been content to leave her to rot, and Terra and Ven with her? She knew it was unkind in the extreme to harbor those thoughts, but it had taken them so long to come for her…

She shook her head to clear it. These were precisely the kind of thoughts she was trying to stay away from. They were poison, and would only lead her further away from the light. They would make the Phantom stronger, and she wanted nothing quite as much as to defy her. So instead she chose to refocus on the task she had given herself.

After a moment of further consideration she chose armors for Lauriam and Elrena as well. Those two were not formally part of the guardians, but they had repeatedly expressed a desire to work with them. Naturally she had not been quite sure of them when they had first shown up, and there was still some work to do in that regard. But she was starting to believe they were on the right side. She would give them their chance. And once she was certain she would be willing to gift them improved gear. She decided to leave preparing their armors for last. By the time she was finished with them she expected them to have proven themselves with finality. Something told her they would not let her down.

Having chosen the armors, she got to work. She decided to focus on restoring her own armor, then moving on to the other sets when that was done. Her armor should be functional again when she had restored its magic. With the others one more step would be required. Once her fellow wielders were presented with their armors they would have to attune it with their hearts, so it would be an extension of themselves in the same way a keyblade was. Once they had done so their armor would fit them exactly, acquiring personalized appearance and characteristics. With that she would be able to instruct the others, seeing as she had done the same with her own armor a long time ago.

Before she began in earnest she double checked to make sure she had not forgotten anyone.

Herself, Terra, and Ventus. Sora, Kairi, and Riku. Roxas, Xion and Lea. Nine wielders. With Mickey the number added up to ten. And with the inclusion of Lauriam and Elrena, the count was… twelve. Hmm. Odd. Why did that number feel strangely significant? Like it was leading up to something? Maybe it was nothing…

Satisfied that her count was accurate, she continued with her effort. As she worked she began to feel better. It felt good to be doing something useful, in whatever ways were still open to her. And this had the chance to keep her busy for a long time. Just restoring her own armor to full functionality would take days or weeks, judging by the progress she was making currently. And powering up all the other armors? That would be a process of several months. And that was assuming she was allowed to work on this without interruptions, which she frankly rather doubted. There would be other tasks, other missions for her to undertake. Even now she still had to look after Ventus and Naminé until the others came back. But this would make a lovely side project she could spend time on when nothing more important required. She would be able to keep herself busy, just like she wanted.

She found she was smiling. This had become so much more than her initial plan, thanks to her discovery. And it gave her such joy. This would be her gift to the others. Even at her lowest she had discovered some way to help. By giving the armors to the others she would be helping to ensure they would be safe. No matter where she herself was, she would protect her friends. All her friends. And that way she would shield and nurture the light side of her heart. What better way to strike back against the Phantom? She could almost picture her dark self's displeasure at this setback. And that too felt good…

She continued to work for several hours, then came up for a break, as well as a checkup on Ventus and Naminé. To her delight she then realized that Terra, Lauriam and Elrena had returned from seeing Yen Sid. They told her what had transpired, of the new orders Yen Sid had for them (she definitely needed to ensure she was ready to move when called upon). Also that Lauriam and Elrena would be staying for a time longer, until gummiphones could be made for them.

She in turn showed them what she had discovered in the armory. Just like her they reacted with awe and confusion. But just like her they had no answers as to why there were so many suits of armor when only a handful of armors were known to exist. She suspected Eraqus would have known, had he been here. But other than the keyblade war and the subsequent reformation of the world, he had not spent much time teaching them about history, preferring to focus their attention on their future role as wielders and Keyblade Masters. It had been their preference too, so they had not thought to question it. And he had been even more tightlipped about his own personal history.

That was the strangest thing actually, now that she thought about it. She had thought to ask him about his past, simply out of curiosity. This was even before Xehanort had brought Ventus into their lives. She had wanted to know what he had been like when he had been a student like she and Terra had been. But when she had voiced that question… there had been a curious sadness on Eraqus's face, and he had quickly changed the subject. She had thought it better not to ask again because of his reaction, and had eventually forgotten about it altogether. But now… she wondered what kind of a story he would have had to tell.

Since they were all already on the search for answers, maybe there would be time to unravel this mystery as well. If it proved a relevant subject and there was time to seek the answers.

To her plan to provide all of them with keyblade armor they reacted with approval. Lauriam thanked her on behalf of himself and Elrena for their inclusion, understanding the significance. The three of them even offered to help her to get things done more quickly, but she declined. This had become a personal project to her now. She wanted to finish this on her own.

And then Terra decided to drop the most important piece of news he had for her. Kairi… was to be her student. It was… quite a surprise. From the very first time she had met Kairi she had known theirs had not been a chance encounter. And when she had met her again years later she had been certain of it. But this went rather beyond anything she had pictured. It was a great honor of course. And an exciting challenge, since Kairi would be her first pupil ever. The first ones were always the most memorable ones after all.

Once she would have met that challenge with enthusiasm and confidence. Perhaps too much so, come to think of it. Now… she still wanted to. But a part of her worried over whether or not she could. Still… she felt like she wanted to try. It was what Kairi wanted as well.

She would be busy indeed…