Kazuma's turn
For the second time in my life, I found myself in a blank, featureless space. The floor was checkerboarded in black and white, and I was sitting in a fancily carved white, straight backed wooden chair. There was of course only one explanation.
"AQUA! I'd better not be dead again!"
Between one blink and the next, the identical chair right across from me was filled with a familiar figure. Though instead of her usual outfit she was in a comfy looking set of sky blue pajamas and ethereally white fuzzy slippers, with her hair tied up in a loose bun. Despite that, she had the same talent as Iris for making extra casual look good on her, where I always just looked like a slob.
"Keep your pants on, you're fine," she grumbled, setting down a steaming mug of something on a side table that appeared beside her chair. "Eris gets pissy about saying too much on stream, even if we're not really online. I don't think she gets how it works at all, I swear," the goddess of booze and livestreams pouted. She pulled her feet up into her chair and rested her arms on her bent knees, reminding me of a teenager complaining about how out of touch her parents were. "But anyway. There was another veil transfer earlier today."
I hissed out a breath I didn't really need in this space. "Dammit. I didn't think they'd risk it after Seresdina." I gave the mug in her hands a long look. With another pout like a kid having to share her candy from my host, a similar mug appeared in my hands. Proving to be some sort of hot, spiced wine.
"They've gotta be desperate. You don't get just how much mana one of those takes, even a goddess would feel it," She placed a hand to her chest, and coughed delicately. "Well, a junior goddess anyway. I do them all the time."
It was a little depressing that my countrymen got offed and reincarnated regularly enough to keep a goddess in practice at moving people between worlds. One day I needed to ask her what her weirdest case was, but I was probably going to want a lot more booze than this first.
"So whoever they brought is somebody they think can turn things around," I said instead. "Any idea who it is?"
She shook her head quickly, setting her bun bouncing. "Nope! But they didn't take much convincing, the out and back transfers were under two hours apart, earth time. Did you have any blood enemies that want another crack at you badly enough to wager their life and soul chasing you across the Void?"
"Of course not! You've been listening to Megumin too much." Unless you counted some gamer sweatlord I pissed off, but a transfer didn't give you any abilities or weapons you didn't already have. Elite World of Warcraft skills probably weren't what the Demon King was counting on to turn the tide.
I sipped at my wine, running down the list of people who would even notice I was missing at all. It didn't take me long, being a damned short list. Jiro knew exactly where I went. My parents probably told the neighbors and their friends I moved away and never mentioned me again. My highschool acquaintances had mostly moved on or fallen out of touch. They probably already filled my spot in the guild, and I didn't have much contact with most of my online friends outside of whatever game we played…
Aqua stayed uncharacteristically silent while I thought, taking big enough gulps from her mug that it had to be refilling itself. "Heh. Maybe they found some special forces trooper who died in an accident?" I suggested with a forced laugh. "That's almost worse than a random NEET. Can you imagine what they would think, seeing some of the monsters around here?"
"I thiiiink I might've sent some of your SDF people over a few times? So you might be surprised," Aqua matched my grin over the mug she held near her face. "But you're right, it could be anybody." She turned away, and just above a whisper said, "Just…keep an eye out, yeah? I can't have my star getting himself hurt, who knows where I'll find another one! So be safe."
I looked away too, feeling my eyes prickle. "That's always the plan, right? But…thanks. I can tell Iris?"
She nodded. "Of course. We're kinda stretching the rules about divine revelations here, so keep it close."
Some time later, I found myself back in bed, my fiancé at my side breathing softly from under the mound of coverlet she wrapped around herself somehow. Given the size of the bed there was still plenty for me even so, though how she didn't wake up sweaty and overheated I've never figured out.
I stared at the ceiling, no canopy for my bed thank you, and listened to the whooshing of the fan over the ice bucket I filled before bed. Early summer in Belzerg wasn't as brutally hot as in, say, Kyushu, but I'd take all the comforts of home I could get.
And this was home, now.
I mean, sure. There were some mercenary reasons to say that. I'd done really well out of the deal so far. First, the difference in swank between my two apartments wasn't even close. Second, I'd been slandering Belzerg back then too. It turned out sewers, indoor plumbing, and central heating were much older ideas than I would have ever thought. No Wi-Fi, granted, but getting to play with literal magic made up for that. Besides, I could probably con Aqua into showing me the highlights of any anime I missed anyway. And third, yes, it's good to be the prince consort, especially when you're consorting with a woman like Iris, even with the minor hiccup that I died in the process of making it happen.
But with as much silver as the demons were offering me to stay home I could've turned any apartment I rented into NEET paradise several times over, with a succubus delivery service thrown in.
I'll never admit it to another soul, but the biggest part, the part I'd have given all the rest up for, was the people who cared about me now. Benny and Yunyun, who made sure I fit into their clan of wizarding weirdos despite my barely having enough magic to light a bonfire. Sylphina, Megumin, and Komekko, who trusted me enough to lead them into danger, and all of whom had saved my skinny butt at least once so far. And even managed to be good company, at least when I was sure Komekko wasn't about to eat my soul. Or Sylphina wasn't acting like I was in grade school. Or I was in the safe part of Megumin's blast cycle. Even Ancient Blonde in her own snooty, 'my girl can do much better, but I suppose with enough salvage work you might one day be acceptable' way.
And at the top of the list, Iris believed in me on nothing but a memory and a prayer, when heaven knew I hadn't shown a reason for anyone to before.
So, if I had to keep playing the part of a chosen hero, then that's a small price to pay. If it was an easy job, any asshole could do it. I just happened to be the asshole who was on the spot.
Firming my resolve, I rolled over and began to reach towards Iris. Then paused, as my nose twinged in phantom pain. And I suddenly remembered the last time I startled her while she was sound asleep.
I rolled back over, and rustled back into being comfortable. Plenty of time to be the bold isekai hero in the morning.
Iris' turn
Dawn has always been my favorite time of day. Even when life was at its worst, it felt like a promise that this too would pass.
Of course there are those who disagree, and they are entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it might be. Taking care not to move too quickly, I slid out from under the bunched up coverlet. Kazuma tended to find the usual bed canopy and curtains confining, but I had always considered them comforting. A private space was always difficult to find for royalty, and I think that as much as anything explains why the custom stayed. Despite it being a little silly in a modern palace, it wasn't as though there were drafts to keep out. Unlike those old stonepile keeps on the frontier.
In any case, their presence would interfere with the lovely cooling machine he had in the corner. I did find it charming that he disliked the common practice of sleeping apart except for marital duties, too much like a booty call, he'd said. Which, while not a term I was familiar with, I could certainly guess from context. However, I would also be a liar before Eris without admitting part of my willingness to visit regularly came from how much more comfortable the slight chill it produced made a bedchamber.
Sliding into a robe, I padded over to the door and eased through to the salon. There I found a small pile of messages that had come in overnight on the table. Along with a teapot on a warmer, the cup and saucer escorted by dishes of honey and cream.
I'd worked my way through some of the daily routine when the bedroom door opened again, much earlier than his now usual first blush of 9 am awakening.
"Oh! Well, good morning! I didn't wake you, I hope?" I asked, as Kazuma dropped into the other chair and poured himself a cup.
"No, I was half awake most of the night," he admitted. "I talked with Aqua. There was another transfer tod…yesterday."
My cup froze on the way to my lips. "Is it too much to hope the Crimson Demons are playing with their new toy?" I asked hopefully. Which would be terrifying enough in its own right, but given the alternative…
He snorted and shook his head. "We should be so lucky. No idea who they brought. Just that it was quick, under two hours there and back."
Given the headache navigating Kazuma's world could be, that was lightning speed indeed. I breathed in through my nose and released it in a puff though my lips, a technique Claire had taught me as a girl for clearing my head that had served me well many times since. "So be it. We shall simply have to turn the spymasters loose and see what they can uncover. Hopefully, they're in the mood for a challenge."
Fortunately, operating in the demon realm wasn't impossible. There were humans to blend in with after all, and demons were just as vulnerable to a good bribe or boasting in their cups about something they shouldn't as anyone else. But those same humans tended to attract inordinate amounts of suspicion, and so any information tended to be slow in coming to avoid security.
"And maybe Komekko's crew knows something," he agreed hopefully.
After a kiss and promise to meet for lunch, I returned to my own chambers through the connecting door to have my attendants make me presentable to face the day.
As I closed the door, he rang the bell to signal what must be his very confused staff to bring in breakfast.
Afterwards I sent a message to my henchw…retainers. Kazuma's 'affectionate' word for them popped to mind at the most inconvenient times. In any case, Claire met me at my working chambers, as expected. Unfortunately, by this point Tina was on enforced seclusion and bed rest leading up to her delivery. Instead, her husband Alexei was standing in temporarily and had brought along their silver haired aide, Dame Chris.
Tina's 'aide' had been loosely in her service since at least her days as Darkness the adventurer, and I had it on good authority that she had been her supposed mistress' minder and near chaperone in her younger years. A position of trust in the Dustiness family she probably still had, for all that Tina had mellowed somewhat with marriage and motherhood.
While Alexei was entirely competent and his aide was objectively a better choice for anything involving espionage, I would have been relieved to have my other aunt present all the same.
"I fear I must begin the day with ill news," I said after the customary greetings. "Kazuma has received a message from his goddess. The demons have conducted another transfer ritual."
That brought a round of grimaces and shock only restrained by noble propriety, though only Claire spoke up at first. "Without wishing to unfairly impugn the source, I must ask how reliable this information is given…the source." she trailed off, and as much as I disliked the implication I couldn't fault her caution. Anyone as intimately connected as Kazuma was with Aqua should be hailed as a saint, possessing such unsurpassed holiness and heavenly favor would be a boon to the royal family not seen in centuries.
And yet…
"In this field, I think we must take her at her word. Unfortunately, we know little else, merely that the target agreed swiftly and returned successfully. First, Alexei, I should wish to borrow Dame Chris so she might lead the effort to seek out, evaluate, and report back on this new arrival. Consider this your top priority."
He nodded, in no way surprised. "Consider her at your disposal to turn over as many rocks as needed."
The Thief had recovered her aplomb as well, and grinned jauntily at the fresh challenge. "Understood, your majesty! Might I assume you would prefer this person is available to answer questions?"
The Thief's purple eyes sparkled, looking thrilled to be given an assignment involving scanty clues, a search area as wide as the Demon King's domain, and nothing but a general guideline to follow as she saw fit. Having known her passably well for some years, I suspected the freedom of the last part was outweighing the 'minor' inconvenience of the first two. In her adventurer days she was something of a minor legend, ranging far and wide across the kingdom as a roving troubleshooter for her liege while recovering 'misplaced' property.
"Very much so, if possible. I can't imagine the demons would be foolish enough to bring someone across without adequate means of keeping them loyal, however, so use your best judgment. If they must be eliminated at once, so be it."
Claire spoke up next. "If I may, I suggest we accelerate our own preparations for the new offensive as much as possible in response. I know you hoped to begin construction on some of the merchant lines for concealment and experience, but I fear that we must concentrate on making our move first. Even if it risks some of our precautions being less effective."
"We might call the Muster early, that would surely provide enough distraction," Alexei added, in agreement with the duchess. "Though of course that would give away that we were up to something, if not reveal exactly what."
As father said many times, moments like these are why monarchs exist. No one can ever manage a kingdom alone, but equally there must always be someone with the final say.
We could very well be jumping at shadows by even considering tampering with our existing plans. Could indeed be creating a critical weakness by doing so, as some things thought unimportant turned out to be anything but, and others inevitably fell through the cracks.
We could also spoil their plans by forcing the demons to react to us instead of launching their own stratagem, even if ours don't unfold entirely as planned…
"Find out how much time we might gain if we called the Muster now and gave the military lines full priority," I finally said. "And of course if we even have enough food and fodder on hand for them yet."
"At once, your majesty," Claire replied with a seated bow.
"Alexei, provided a reasonable amount of time can be saved, the Muster planning falls to you. Try to arrange the levies' routes to avoid our new construction if at all possible."
"The eastern domains will have no choice but to use some of the roads we want," the duke pointed out. "Unless you'd prefer they stay behind and add them to the expedition?"
I frowned again. The frontal attack on the Demon King's castle was always supposed to only be a demonstration, a glorified feint. But it also needed to be big enough to look convincing, and it would look very strange if only that area failed to contribute their required soldiers… "Include them for now. If we do encounter problems with supplies that might give us an excuse to retain them as expedition reinforcements after all."
Compared to reshuffling a major military operation, the rest of the agenda was positively tame. I was interested to note that, among the usual rumor mongering at various soirees, there was more speculation about how lucrative the construction contracts I granted for rail expansion would be than about the railroads themselves. All to the good, if the general opinion was they were merely a useful aid to commerce and nothing more.
Afterwards, it was time for my morning practice. The outer courtyard used by the Royal Guard rang with the sounds of practice weapons on dummies and the crackle of attack magic against targets against the inner wall facing the moat. The healers also seemed to have a few customers to practice on, though nothing major by the look of things.
I paused to watch Captain Mitsurugi and one of the lieutenants, I couldn't tell which, conducting a demonstration for some of the newer guards.
The captain's armor rang like a bell under a strike from his opponent's blunted practice saber, a discharge of lightning flaring from the impact on his forearm and sparking along the decorative strips to his boots and into the ground.
Armor like his, or the rest of the Guards', was much more than sheets of steel or wrought iron over cloth padding. From salamander leather backing to confer fire resistance, to greater gander down filling in the gambeson to mitigate temperature extremes and defeat ice magic, to the copper conducting strips and grounding cleats necessary to weather lightning magic, a high class set of armor protects against a wide range of threats to its wearer beyond sharp objects.
But even the best armor couldn't provide perfect protection. His hand seemed to be somewhat numbed by either the blow or the magic in spite of it's best efforts, he surreptitiously worked the fingers as he lowered it to his side.
"Well struck, Sir Eric," the captain said. "And to all of you new to our ranks, take heed! Your armor is your life. Tend to it, and it shall tend to you!" His lieutenant whispered to him, confirming my suspicion that he noticed I was there previously while his captain hadn't. Mitsurugi was a capable enough fighter, but suffered from the same ills that so many of his transplanted countrymen did. All of his skills and experience revolved around his sword Gram, removing it from his side or from being relevant also removed a disproportionate amount of his value.
Starting slightly, he recovered and turned to face us. "Your majesty, may the sun's rays shine warmly upon your august self this fine day," he called with a flourished bow.
"Sir Mitsurugi," I returned the greeting with a raised hand to acknowledge the hurried bows of the others, "A good morning to you all as well. Carry on." After giving leave to continue their lesson, Rain and I continued onward towards the private yard. A surprising number of 'accidents' happened in the main yard over the years, considering the presence of large numbers of armed and loyal guards. None in my time on the throne, fortunately, but as they say there's a first time for everything.
Once there I changed into something more appropriate for exercise with her help, racking my 'working' sword and my practice one next to the bench beside the wall before stepping out onto the padded mat to begin the flexibility and conditioning exercises handed down within the royal family for generations.
This was my other favorite time of the day, when I could push aside outside distractions for a time. Or try to at least. Even more so than with the sword forms, since those inevitably called to mind when I would have need of them.
After I finished, I found Kazuma watching from the door with interest, dressed in his old tracksuit and apparently fresh from his own lesson with the armsmaster.
"Admiring the scenery?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, plucking a towel off the bench. Now that I was warmed up it was time to switch to the sword anyway, and since I had a volunteer…
"Just thinking my next project ought to be yoga pants," he replied with a little cough, his still developing sangfroid not quite up to covering his embarrassment as he stepped inside.
I paused toweling off, giving him a considering look. "How do you know about the royal exercises? I was certain I had yet to show them to you. Before now."
"I…ah haven't ever done them, but there were a lot of people who did in Japan. There were even special clothes for it."
I hummed in thought. My current outfit of sleeveless white tunic and loose trousers was comfortable enough, but far be it from me to turn down an upgrade… "Remind me to ask about that later. Since you arrived early, how do you fancy a quick turn in the ring before we take lunch?"
By the look on his face, very little. But before he could start edging towards the door, I snagged him by the hand and towed him towards the painted circle in the middle of the room, taking up my practice sword as we went.
Apparently resigning himself to his fate, Kazuma started stretching on his side of the ring while I waited. Initial reluctance aside he seemed to be looking forward to it, frowning in concentration while loading himself with strength and speed buffs as he moved. "Same rules as last time? Pin both shoulders to the ground, or a weapon or skill in contact unblocked?" He asked, picking up his practice weapon that I could never pronounce. Which to my eye looked like a straight razor with delusions of grandeur, but was suited for the quick, close in strikes combined with Lurk or poor visibility his build favored.
"Of course." We had crossed swords a few times before, needless to say I had yet to lose. But sparring with him was always an interesting challenge. His varied, and probably unique, set of skills and talent for…unusual applications…of them made it difficult to know exactly what I was facing. Dangerous, but not at all suited for a stand up fight.
Since such a fight was all too likely to find him anyway, he needed to practice how to deal with one.
He wasted no time once his buffs were in place and he stepped into the ring, casting a speed debuff on me as his first move. I could break it if I truly needed to, but Axis status effects were surprisingly 'sticky', perhaps why their clerics used to punch above their weight.
Still, it wouldn't serve any purpose to merely flatten him with raw power, so I limited myself to the strength and speed a high level monster such as a manticore could muster.
Unfortunately for him, placing it and his other buffs used the majority of his mana, and barring a mythical friendly lich teaching him Drain Touch he wasn't going to replenish any soon.
A Bind shot out next, one of his more versatile skills. I jumped aside, common rope rather than something more substantial, arcing past in a blur to bounce harmlessly off the wall.
That proved to be part of his plan, he iced over the area I was about to be landing in, quick thinking on his part. It was good to see his time with the armsmaster was paying off. I skidded on the slick surface, but not enough to create a decisive opening, then cracked it underfoot.
His follow up was why fighting him was so interesting, he being the only person I'd ever seen use Basic Magic offensively. Instead of the mud balls he used against the Moguunin he instead pulled dust he created, and also apparently from a bag in his pocket, into a cloud around me to screen his maneuvers.
Knowing better than to charge right through it, but also not wanting to give time to start shaping the battlefield further in his favor, I summoned a mana burst on my practice sword to disrupt the spell …
"YOUR MAJESTY! YOUR HIGHNESS! URGENT NEWS!" Rain shouted in a near panic.
I nearly dropped my sword in shock, and reflexively began to whip around to face her in astonishment. Rain was never flustered, what could possibly…
Something wrapped itself around my legs and yanked, bringing me to the ground with a whump. The cloud dissipated to show me Rain, her hands covering her mouth in horror, glaring daggers at Kazuma.
Who was now a step away, pointing his short sword at me while wearing a positively wicked grin on his face.
"Victory!" He cheered, clenching his free hand into a fist in the air. Correctly, damnation.
I glared down at the braided wire cable wrapped around my lower body, then slid it off with a yank and hopped to my feet before Rain needed to come over to assist. Fortunately he hadn't put much mana into the Bind spell, or I might have been performing the rest of today's duties while being carried in a chair. "That was utterly contrary to the spirit of the exercise," I huffed in well justified annoyance, "And how under heaven did you do it?"
"Well, Aqua and I discussed more than just the new arrival. She showed me the Command Performance and Ventriloquism skills too. Then, a flawless imitation of Claire's urbane accent came from his lips. "It appears that this particular skill allows one to most uncouthly mimic the speech of anyone whom the user has overheard for a sufficient length of time."
I frowned thoughtfully. "They can't be common skills, I hope? Otherwise our security is going to require yet another overhaul."
He shook his head while coiling up his ropes and summoning his dust back to its pouch. "No, I checked. Technically they're both available, but Command Performance is high up in the Bard skill tree and that's been unpopular for quite a while. Probably nobody has known it in years."
That was reassuring, at least. "Well then, nicely done." I inclined my head in acknowledgment of his victory, "Shall we adjourn then?"
"Certainly! Shall I inform the kitchen her majesty will require an extra pastry to soothe her wounded pride?" he asked full of false consideration, the knave.
I grinned at him, perhaps showing a few too many teeth given he sidled a step to the side. "Yes, please do. And you should also begin planning for our next bout. Needless to say, that trick is not going to work twice. My dear."
