AN: Thank you, ZeroFelicity for the follow! It means a lot!
Disclaimer: I don't own Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie or anything affiliated with it.
Enjoy Chapter 4!
Kamiya locked the front door to her house and walked down the steps, but stopped when she heard a woman yelling. She looked to her left and saw Ryuga standing on the porch of his house.
The yelling went on for a few more moments, but Ryuga didn't say anything. Ryuga walked down the steps of his porch and started sprinting.
Kamiya ran after him. "Ryuga-san!"
He just kept sprinting, somehow picking up his pace.
"Wait up!"
Ryuga didn't stop for her, disappointing Kamiya.
"Kamiya-san!"
Kamiya stopped running and turned around to see Nekozaki. "Nekozaki-san?"
Nekozaki stopped after catching up with Kamiya. "Why… are you running so fast…?"
"I was trying to catch up to Ryuga-san," Kamiya replied, then started walking.
Nekozaki followed her. "He lives around here?"
"...Yeah."
Nekozaki smirked. "And how do you know that?"
Kamiya looked at the ground. "...We walked home together yesterday."
Nekozaki looked curious. "You did? How did you guys even meet up?"
"I went out to the convenience store last night, and Ryuga-san happened to work there, so we walked home after he got off," Kamiya explained.
"So… are you guys… friends now?" Nekozaki asked, sounding a little confused, like she didn't know how to describe what she wanted to ask.
"...No…"
Nekozaki stomped her foot on the ground, throwing her fists in the air. "Seriously?! How the hell does he not see you as a friend?!"
"I wish I knew…"
"Like, he walked home with you! Did that not mean anything to him?!"
Kamiya remembered the look on Ryuga's face when she said goodbye yesterday night. He looked confused. Now that she thought about it, she noticed that he was confused every time she helped him, thanked him, or said anything positive. It's like it was his first time being exposed to positivity. Ryuga-san reacted… the same way I did the first time someone has ever thanked me, or said I'm a nice person… But neither of us thinks we're good or nice people… If that's the case, why do we always speak to one another in a positive way while looking at ourselves negatively?
"Kamiya-san?"
Nekozaki's concerned voice broke Kamiya out of her thoughts. She looked at Nekozaki. "Huh?"
"What's wrong? You got all quiet all of a sudden."
"I… need some time to think about… everything… Is that alright with you?"
Nekozaki looked at Kamiya for a few seconds, then smiled. "Of course! Just come to me if you need anything!"
Kamiya smiled. "Thank you, Nekozaki-san."
"No problem! Now let's get to school!"
"See ya at lunch!"
Kamiya waved as she watched Nekozaki walk to her class, then walked to her class. She avoided everybody as they approached her, forcing a smile as she got to her seat in the back of the class. She looked to her right, surprised to see that Ryuga wasn't there. He should be here by now, though, since he left before I did.
"Sup, Kamiya!"
Kamiya looked up to see the same tall student who was harassing Ryuga last week, forcing a smile. "Hey."
"Mind if I sit here?" he asked, gesturing to the seat next to her.
"You're not supposed to sit there since that's where Ryuga-san sits."
The student looked around the classroom. "Well, doesn't look like he's here, which means free game for this seat, right?"
"Again, that's Ryuga-san's seat, so you're not supposed to sit there," Kamiya said, narrowing her eyes.
"Why do you even care about that emo?" the student asked, sounding irritated.
Kamiya just held her stare.
The stranger looked back, completely ignoring Kamiya.
Kamiya looked behind him and saw Ryuga enter the classroom, looking down at his phone.
"Hey, punk, you mind if I sit here?" the stranger asked.
Ryuga kept his eyes on his phone.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!"
Ryuga still didn't respond. He didn't even acknowledge the student.
"What's so damn important on that damn phone of yours that you can't acknowledge me?!" The student grabbed Ryuga's wrist, yanking his phone out of his grasp. He then burst out laughing. "Why does my mother yell at me for no reason, and how do I deal with it? What kind of question is that? Why would you look something like that up?"
Ryuga covered his right wrist with his left hand, looking at the floor.
The student bent down so that he was eye level with Ryuga. "What's wrong, Ryuga? You having Mommy issues?"
Ryuga glanced at the student with narrowed eyes. "May I please have my phone back?"
"Why would I give it back to a loser like you?"
"Please just give him his phone back," Kamiya said, trying to be as polite as possible.
The student looked surprised as he turned his attention to Kamiya. "Why are you defending him?"
Kamiya just continued to hold her stare.
The student glared at her. "You too?! You think since you're seen as the most popular person in this school you're too good to talk to people lower than you? You're not so great, Kamiya-san!"
"Hey." Ryuga took a step towards the student. "Please leave her alone."
The student glared at Ryuga. "And why should I?"
"Because she did nothing wrong. I couldn't care what you say to me, but I don't appreciate you talking down to others who don't deserve it. So why don't you just shut up, leave Kamiya-san alone, and give me my phone back."
The student continued to glare at Ryuga.
"...Please," Ryuga said.
The student focused his attention on Kamiya, who was now glaring at him, seeming to surprise him. He looked back to Ryuga, holding his phone out. "Just take it…"
Ryuga took his phone and put it in his pocket, then took his seat.
Kamiya sat in her seat with a heavy sigh, then looked at Ryuga, who was looking at his desk. "Ryuga-san?"
He didn't acknowledge her.
"Are you feeling any better?"
He clenched his left hand into a fist.
"I'm sorry that had to happen to you."
Ryuga slowly looked at Kamiya, an annoyed expression plastered on his face. "Please stop bothering me about something that doesn't concern you."
Kamiya broke eye contact for a second, feeling hurt by Ryuga's comment, but found the confidence to look at him. "I'm not trying to bother you. I'm trying to help you."
He looked surprised.
"So if you can, please talk with me later…"
Ryuga looked at her for a few more seconds, then nodded slowly.
Kamiya caught a slight glimpse of his right wrist and saw a red stain through his white sleeve. "What happened to your wrist?"
Ryuga looked at his sleeve, then quickly covered it with his hand. "...Nothing."
Kamiya tried not to let her worry show, and got everything out for the lesson.
Kamiya shut her textbook with a heavy sigh, then put it away in her backpack. She was about to grab her notebook, but stopped when she heard something next to her. She looked to her right and saw Ryuga looking down at his phone while wearing a pair of earbuds. She focused on the earbuds he was wearing, ignoring everything else around her, and heard music coming out of them. It was so loud it was like he wasn't wearing earbuds.
"Hey! Turn those headphones down!" the student from earlier yelled across the classroom.
Ryuga just kept staring at his phone, not seeming to hear the student because of how loud he was playing his music.
The student walked over to Ryuga, placing both of his hands on his desk.
Ryuga glanced up at the student.
"Didn't you hear me the first time? I told you to turn your music down."
Ryuga just lowered his eyes toward his phone.
The student let out an irritated growl, then yanked Ryuga's earbuds out of his ears.
Ryuga's music was audible throughout the entire classroom, so everyone focused their attention on it.
All of the students burst out laughing, but Kamiya didn't laugh. She didn't know what the song was, but it sounded very sad and emotional. "Will all of you please be quiet!"
The entire classroom was silent the moment those words left Kamiya's mouth.
"Does it seriously matter to any of you what kind of music Ryuga-san listens to?"
The student in front of Ryuga looked at Kamiya. "What does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't matter what I think, but none of you should be bothered by what kind of music Ryuga-san listens to."
The student glared at Kamiya. "You've been acting all high and mighty lately, and it's getting on my nerves. What kind of music do you even listen to?"
"It doesn't matter," Kamiya said.
"Then why are you getting in my business?"
"I'm not trying to get in your business, I'm trying to stop you from picking on Ryuga-san."
The student turned his attention to Ryuga, who put his earbuds back in his ears, ignoring everyone. The student grabbed his phone and pulled the cord from his phone. "Stop ignoring me, punk!"
Ryuga wrapped up his earbuds and put them away in his backpack. "Then why don't you address me by my name?"
"Fine, Ryuga-san, why do you keep ignoring me?" the student snarled.
"I'll answer you once you give me my phone back."
"Why would I do that? I don't want to hear that shitty music of yours again."
"I apologize for playing my music so loudly. I'll play it more quietly."
The student shoved Ryuga, causing Ryuga to stumble back against the wall. "I don't think you understand, I don't want to hear your crappy music again. Don't listen to music in here again, you got me?"
Ryuga looked around the classroom. "Do all of you feel this way?"
They all looked at each other, murmuring amongst themselves.
The student held Ryuga's phone out to him. "Put in your password."
"Why?" Ryuga asked.
"Because… I'm going to get rid of all of the crappy music you listen to."
"You're not obligated to do that, it's my phone."
The student punched Ryuga in the face. "I don't care, now put in your password."
Ryuga glanced at the student, his eyes looking like they were drained of all emotion. "…No."
The student punched Ryuga's stomach, causing Ryuga to gasp for breath as he clutched his stomach. "Do it!" He attempted to punch Ryuga again, but Kamiya grabbed his wrist. He looked at Kamiya. "What are you doing?"
"Stopping you from inflicting any more pain on Ryuga-san," Kamiya said. "Now please leave him alone."
Before anyone could do anything, the classroom door opened, and the teacher walked in. Everyone frantically scrambled to their seats, but before Kamiya and the student she was stopping could do the same, Ryuga tackled both of them to the floor.
The entire class gasped, seeming to be shocked by how Ryuga suddenly tackled two students when he was being very passive moments ago.
"Ryuga-san!" the teacher called.
Ryuga got to his feet and made eye contact with the teacher, looking like he didn't have any remorse for hurting two students.
"Principal's office! Now!"
Ryuga glanced down at Kamiya, guilt flashing through his eyes as they barely narrowed.
Kamiya narrowed her eyes as well, confused at what Ryuga did. She could understand why he tackled the student who was bullying him, but why did he tackle her as well? And why did he do it right when the teacher entered the classroom? It made no sense to her.
Ryuga broke eye contact with Kamiya and walked out of the classroom, avoiding everyone's gaze.
Kamiya stayed in her seat when the bell for lunch rang, while everyone else left the classroom. She was still confused about the whole situation that just happened in homeroom. She wanted to ask Ryuga about it, but he never came back.
She widened her eyes, remembering how she requested to talk with him later. How am I supposed to do that now? I have no idea where Ryuga-san is.
Before Kamiya could think about it further, the classroom door opened, and Nekozaki walked in. "Sup, Kamiya-san!"
Kamiya smiled, but it felt forced. She had too much on her mind to be in a good mood. "Hey."
"What are you still doing here?" Nekozaki asked. "It's lunch time."
"I know."
Nekozaki approached Kamiya, taking a seat on the desk to her left. "So, what's holding you up?"
Kamiya avoided Nekozaki's gaze, looking at her desk. "Just… There was an incident earlier in class…"
Nekozaki leaned closer to Kamiya, looking curious. "What happened?"
"Ryuga-san was listening to his music very loudly, and a student started picking on him. Before things could escalate any further than they already had, I intervened. The teacher came in right after, and Ryuga-san suddenly tackled us to the floor, and he got in trouble for it," Kamiya explained.
Nekozaki blinked, looking confused. "Why would he do that? You never did anything to him."
"I know, that's what's confusing me." Kamiya clutched the end of her skirt. "I just don't understand him."
Nekozaki put a hand over Kamiya's, surprising Kamiya. "Try not to think about it too much. Maybe Ryuga-san just doesn't want anyone to understand him."
Kamiya nodded slowly. From all of the conversations she's had with Ryuga-san, she was the one who initiated them, and she was always the one who opened up so their conversations could develop further. But Ryuga rarely opened up, and if he did, he refused to open up further.
She thought back to all of the times Nekozaki asked her to hang out. She would always decline her offers because she was afraid of getting too close to people. She was scared of opening up. And now that she was trying to get close to Ryuga, who didn't want to get close to her, she could sympathize with Nekozaki.
"Nekozaki…" Kamiya's said, her eyes meeting Nekozaki's purple ones.
"Hm?"
"What do you think… helped me open up to you?"
Nekozaki tilted her head to the side. "Well… I'd say the hardest part was starting an interaction with me." She looked back to Kamiya. "Getting out to hang out with me must've been the most difficult part for you, but once you got comfortable, it must've been easier to open up, even if you didn't reveal much about yourself. You're still a mystery." Nekozaki let out a light laugh.
"I think you're right. I never wanted to get close to anyone because I was afraid I wouldn't meet their expectations, but I stopped thinking about that once I got comfortable." Kamiya smiled. "I was able to be myself. Around you and Shikimori-san at least."
"What about Ryuga-san?" Nekozaki asked. "You opened up to him, didn't you?"
"Well, yes, but it was easier because I can somewhat see myself in him."
"If that's the case, why is it so hard for him to open up to you?"
Kamiya's frowned, looking down at her desk. "I don't know… I don't think I'll ever know…"
"Hey, don't get so gloomy about it. If you want the answer, find it. If it helps, talk to Shikimori-san."
Kamiya looked at Nekozaki, smiling softly. "Thank you, Nekozaki-san."
Nekozaki led Kamiya to the cafeteria, where the rest of the students were, eating lunch. Shikimori was sitting at a table with her other friends. She waved at Nekozaki and Kamiya when she saw them.
Nekozaki waved her hand towards herself, gesturing for Shikimori to come to her.
Shikimori got up and walked over to Nekozaki and Kamiya. "Hey! What took you?"
"Kamiya wanted to tell you something," Nekozaki said.
Kamiya lowered her gaze to the floor.
Shikimori looked at Kamiya, smiling cutely. "What is it, Kamiya-san?"
Kamiya put a hand on her wrist, clutching it. She wanted to talk to Shikimori about the incident from earlier, but after seeing how happy she was with her friends, she didn't feel like it anymore. She felt guilty for prioritizing her selfish desires over her two friends' priorities.
"Everything okay, Kamiya-san?" Shikimori asked, making Kamiya look at her.
"It's about an incident that happened in class earlier. Is it alright if I talk to you about it?"
Shikimori looked back at her friends, making Kamiya feel even more guilty.
Kamiya took a step back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have approached you like this. You should go back to your friends."
Shikimori looked back to Kamiya. "I don't mind talking with you."
Kamiya was confused by how cheerful Shikimori sounded. "...Okay."
"Follow me." Shikimori led Kamiya and Nekozaki out of the cafeteria. She walked through the hall and up several flights of stairs until they arrived at the roof. Shikimori opened the door, letting Kamiya and Nekozaki through.
Kamiya started walking to the fence, but stopped when she saw someone sitting against it.
"What is it, Kamiya-san?" Shikimori asked.
Kamiya barely heard her. She was too focused on the person sitting against the fence. Their knees were tucked into their chest, and their arms were hanging over them, with one of their sleeves rolled up to their elbow.
"Who is that?" Nekozaki asked.
Kamiya walked forward, and the lone student looked up at her. When his eyes caught hers, he hastily rolled his sleeve down and covered his wrist with his hand.
"What are you doing up here, Ryuga-san?" Kamiya asked.
He got to his feet, looking at the ground. "...Nothing important… I'll leave now." He walked past Kamiya and her two friends without acknowledging them, keeping his head bowed to the ground.
Kamiya turned around, but instead of seeing Ryuga, she saw the door close.
"Ryuga-san doesn't see you as a friend yet, huh?" Shikimori asked.
"No, he doesn't."
"Have you talked to him at all after our basketball game?"
"Yes, twice."
"And he still doesn't see you as a friend?!" Shikimori exclaimed.
"That's what I said!" Nekozaki said.
"Do you know why he refuses to see me as a friend, Shikimori-san?" Kamiya asked.
Shikimori's gaze drifted to the ground. "You said it's because he thinks it wouldn't be appropriate, right?"
"Yes, but he told me that wasn't the reason anymore."
"Hm… Maybe he just doesn't want to have any friends."
"Then why does he talk to me? If he didn't want any friends, he wouldn't bother to talk with anyone."
"Has he ever initiated a conversation with you?" Nekozaki asked.
Kamiya thought back to their encounter at the convenience store over the weekend. "...Only once. And even then he didn't seem interested in getting to know me. He only asked me a question to find a middle ground."
"If that's the case, just try to get to know Ryuga-san," Shikimori told Kamiya. "It doesn't matter if you ask him the most generic questions, just try to get him to open up."
"But every time I've tried, Ryuga-san would just brush me off. It's clear that he doesn't want me as a friend…" Kamiya swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, feeling saddened by the fact that she couldn't make a friend she tried so hard to get to know.
"Kamiya-san." Shikimori's soft voice grabbed Kamiya's attention. "It's as you just said; if he didn't want you as a friend, he wouldn't bother to talk to you. But he did stick around to talk with you, so that means something. You just need to keep trying. Don't give up just because Ryuga-san's making it more and more difficult for you. You need to fight for what you want."
Kamiya thought back to Shikimori's speech about getting over her feelings for Izumi at the Culture Festival. She didn't do anything about it, and just kept her feelings to herself. But now she was trying, even if she was just trying to make another friend. She's come a long way, so she didn't want to give up now. "All right. Thank you, Shikimori-san."
"Glad I could help!"
Kamiya looked at Nekozaki. "Thank you again, Nekozaki-san."
Nekozaki smiled. "Don't worry, Kamiya-san, we'll help you fight! You can count on us!"
Kamiya smiled at her two friends. "Let's get back inside."
The bell rang throughout the school, signifying that school was over for the day. Everyone packed their things up and walked out of the classroom, but stopped when the teacher made an announcement.
"Ryuga-san, you're on classroom clean-up duty today."
Ryuga, who was still sitting at his desk, looked at the teacher and nodded.
All of the other students laughed, except for Kamiya. She didn't understand how anyone could think someone getting in trouble or unfair treatment would be funny.
The teacher walked out of the classroom with the rest of the students, leaving Kamiya and Ryuga alone in the classroom.
Without saying anything, Ryuga put his things away in his backpack and walked to the front of the classroom, then started stacking the chairs on the desks, not even acknowledging Kamiya's presence. It's like he didn't know she was still in the classroom with him.
Kamiya walked to the opposite side of Ryuga and started stacking chairs. When they stacked their chairs in the middle, Ryuga finally seemed to notice her presence.
"Why are you still here?" he asked.
"I'm here to help you," Kamiya said.
"You don't have to. I was the only one told to clean up the classroom."
"That doesn't seem fair to me."
"Life isn't fair."
"I know, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to make it fair."
Ryuga stopped stacking chairs and looked at Kamiya confusedly. "You want to make life fair for others?"
"Um, yes… Is that a bad thing?"
Ryuga shook his head, looking much more composed. "I don't think it is. I want the same thing, actually."
Kamiya thought back to the incident in homeroom, remembering how Ryuga asked the entire class if they wanted him to stop listening to music. "Were you willing to stop listening to music so that the rest of the class would be happy?"
"...Yes."
"Why?!" Kamiya shouted, seeming to startle Ryuga.
"Because everyone else will be happy."
"But you won't be."
Ryuga looked at the floor with downcast eyes. "...I know."
"Doesn't that bother you?"
"Yes, and I'm ashamed of myself because of it."
"Why would you be ashamed of yourself? Everyone should be happy."
"It just seems selfish of me to prioritize my own happiness when I know I can make others happy," Ryuga said.
"Ryuga-san, I wish it were possible, but you can't make everybody happy. Even if you try, you'll never be happy," Kamiya explained.
Ryuga looked at Kamiya with narrowed eyes, as if he was trying not to glare at her. "So you're saying I should write everybody off and try to make myself happy?"
"No. You should still try to make others happy, but try to make yourself happy as well. You need to find a healthy balance."
Ryuga's eyes relaxed. "I think I understand what you're saying. I just don't like disappointing others, so I try to make them happy."
"Remember when you tried to make everyone happy in homeroom?" Kamiya tried to remind Ryuga. "You made them happy at that moment, but they'll completely forget about it later. No matter how much you do for someone you're not close to, you can never satisfy them."
"I… know that."
Kamiya looked away from Ryuga, remembering why she wanted to talk to him earlier. "By the way, why did you tackle us when the teacher walked into the classroom?" She looked back to Ryuga, waiting for him to answer.
Ryuga looked away from Kamiya. "I didn't want you to get in trouble."
Kamiya was confused. "Huh? Why would I have gotten in trouble?"
"You were grabbing onto that student's wrist when the teacher walked in, so it looked like you were the aggressor. I tackled the both of you so none of you would get in trouble."
Kamiya slightly widened her eyes, letting out a soft gasp. This whole time, she just assumed Ryuga just had a sudden mood swing, but she never would have imagined that he purposefully got himself in trouble to protect her. She felt a smile creeping its way out from the corners of her lips.
"Why are you smiling?" Ryuga asked.
"Because you protected me. Thank you, Ryuga-san."
"But I still hurt you." Ryuga lowered his head, looking ashamed. "I apologize about that."
"I understand why you did it. You don't have to feel guilty about it."
Ryuga stacked the last chair, remaining silent.
"Still, why would you want to defend someone who was picking on you, and who deserved to get in trouble?" Kamiya asked. She admired how Ryuga wanted to protect her from punishment, but she didn't understand why he would defend someone who clearly deserved to get punished.
Ryuga looked at Kamiya. "He would resent me even more." He clenched his fist until his hand started shaking. "But I won't deny that that piece of shit deserved to get in trouble."
Kamiya was surprised to hear him cuss. He always spoke politely, even when he was angry, so hearing him cuss now helped Kamiya understand just how angry he was.
Ryuga unclenched his fist, exhaling a fiery breath. "Thank you for defending me, even if it meant getting yourself in trouble. I appreciate it."
Kamiya smiled at his compliment. Although his impassive expression made it seem like he didn't mean it, Kamiya knew Ryuga meant it.
She looked around the classroom. "Well, looks like we're all done here, so let's head home." She grabbed her backpack and started walking to the door, but stopped when she saw that Ryuga hadn't moved. "Ryuga-san, what's wrong?"
Ryuga put a hand over his wrist, looking at the wooden floor. "I don't want to go home…" he mumbled weakly.
Kamiya walked over to him, forcing herself to not reach a hand out to comfort him. "Why not? Are you having problems at home?"
Ryuga turned his head away from Kamiya. "...It doesn't matter. You can just leave without me. I'll just stay here for a little longer."
Kamiya looked at Ryuga sympathetically, but looked away when he glanced at her, not wanting him to be angry at her.
"Please just leave," Ryuga pressed. "I'll only be a burden to you."
Kamiya looked at Ryuga. "Do you want to hang out with me?"
Ryuga widened his eyes. "Umm… What would we do?"
Kamiya avoided Ryuga's gaze. "I'm going to help you forget about everything that happened today."
"I…" Ryuga closed his mouth, looking at his right arm.
Kamiya took a step closer to Ryuga. "Please let me help you, Ryuga-san."
He looked at her, then nodded.
Kamiya smiled, then led him out of the classroom.
Kamiya and Ryuga walked out of the school and through the courtyard, where other students were seen standing around, talking amongst each other. They suddenly turned their attention onto Kamiya and Ryuga, whispering inaudible things into each other's ears.
While Ryuga turned his head slightly to look at them, Kamiya looked at the ground, forcing herself to ignore them. Even though she couldn't understand what they were saying, she had a feeling it was negative things about her and Ryuga, and that hurt her for some reason.
She snuck a glance at the crowd, and they all looked away, acting like they were just casually talking amongst themselves. She caught Ryuga's eye, but he didn't say anything, which surprised her. She thought he would tell her to ignore everyone, but he didn't say anything. Their words seemed to have only made his mood worse than it already was.
Kamiya looked at the ground and picked up her pace, eventually making it through the school entrance. She let out a relieved sigh, feeling better now that all the attention was off of her.
"What now?" Ryuga asked, eyes narrowed at the concrete sidewalk.
Kamiya looked at him, smiling. "Now, I'll take you to a place where you don't have to worry about anything."
Ryuga just blinked, clearly confused. "Huh?"
"Just follow me." Kamiya led him out of the city and onto the dirt road they took to get to the train station, but instead of heading to the train station, she went past it. She entered a thick forest, which was covered with large, cut-up trees.
Kamiya and Ryuga hiked up the forested hill, heading toward a jagged cliff.
At the top was a ravine of upturned earth. They jumped into the ravine and followed the torn-up ground, but the trail they were following disappeared.
"Do you know where you're going?" Ryuga asked, looking around the forest.
Kamiya picked up a broken branch. "We just need to follow the trail of these broken branches." She pointed the branch at the ground, where there was a trail leading to the cliff's edge.
Near the cliff's edge, there was a rocky wall that had a natural stone passageway leading downward.
When they reached the end of the crevasse, they were met with a lovely, isolated cove with a pristine pool surrounded by high stone walls.
Kamiya looked at Ryuga, who was looking at the cove in awe. "So, what do you think?"
"It's… beautiful," Ryuga said softly, looking up at the stone walls that surrounded them.
Kamiya smiled, happy that Ryuga was already feeling better just from seeing the beautiful scenery.
Ryuga looked at Kamiya. "How did you find this place?"
Kamiya looked at the ground, frowning. "I was just wandering around one day, and just came across it."
"You don't sound too happy about it."
"Well, I am happy that I found this place, it's just the reason why I discovered it that upsets me."
Ryuga held his gaze for a few seconds, then looked away. It was like he wanted to ask Kamiya what the reason was, but couldn't bring himself to.
"Just try to get to know Ryuga-san," Shikimori's voice rang through Kamiya's head. "It doesn't matter if you ask him the most generic questions, just try to get him to open up."
Kamiya wanted to take Shikimori's advice. She wanted to get Ryuga to open up. But she didn't want to open up to make him feel like he had to also.
"You don't have to tell me the reason if you don't want to," Ryuga suddenly said, breaking Kamiya out of her thoughts.
"I…" Kamiya closed her eyes, keeping her head lowered to the ground. "I don't want to force you to open up by opening up myself."
"You want me to open up?"
Kamiya looked at Ryuga, who was also looking at her with a neutral expression. "Yes…"
Ryuga frowned. "Is that the reason you brought me here?"
"No."
"Then why do you want me to open up?"
"Because something's troubling you. Something is causing you to think negatively about everything, and I want to help you get through it," Kamiya answered.
"Why would you want to help me?"
Kamiya smiled sympathetically. "Because I feel like I can understand your pain, and why you're so reserved and distant."
"No, you don't," Ryuga growled, glaring at Kamiya. "You don't know anything about me, so don't give me any of that sappy bs to try and make me feel better."
Kamiya took a step back, letting out a gasp. She was surprised to see Ryuga get angry so suddenly, but she could tell that he was still trying to hold it in since he didn't directly curse. "You're right…" She was about to apologize, but remembered how Ryuga told her to understand why she wanted to apologize, otherwise it wouldn't mean anything. "…I'm sorry, Ryuga-san."
Ryuga's eyes relaxed. "You don't need to apologize. You were only trying to help me." He looked away from Kamiya. "But you can't help me."
"Huh? Why not?"
Ryuga looked at her. "Because I'll open up to you, and not in a good way. I'll start venting out all of my problems, and I don't want to burden you with that. I don't want to use you as an outlet to make myself feel better."
Kamiya was surprised by Ryuga's answer. She always thought that he refused to tell her anything because he didn't want to be her friend. But it turned out that he didn't want to burden her with his problems.
She smiled at Ryuga. "You are a very selfless and kind person, Ryuga-san, so please don't be so negative about yourself."
"Please stop saying that. It's not true." Ryuga's voice sounded as downcast as his eyes.
"Venting to others about whatever's troubling you doesn't make you selfish."
Ryuga gave Kamiya a doubtful look.
"Well, not in a bad way…" she added.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"If you talk to others about your problems, they might be able to help you. They'll be able to make you feel better, or give you suggestions to help with your problems. If you just keep everything from people, they'll be forced to assume that something is troubling you, and then they'll worry. So in a way, refusing to vent to others is also selfish."
Ryuga's jaw clenched as he glared at Kamiya. "You're trying to manipulate me, aren't you?"
"I'm not trying to manipulate you!" Kamiya denied.
"You're trying to convince me that refusing to vent to others is selfish, while I think venting is selfish. That sounds like manipulation to me."
"I'm not trying to manipulate you," Kamiya assured Ryuga. "We're just having a little disagreement. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Everything is wrong with that."
"What makes you say that?"
"When people disagree with one another, it causes them to argue, which creates conflict."
"We're arguing right now."
Ryuga looked confused. "Huh?"
"I'm trying to show you my viewpoint about venting, and how it can be healthy, while you're trying to find a way around it with your viewpoint," Kamiya explained. "We disagree with each other, meaning that we're arguing, but in a healthy way."
Kamiya's explanation seemed to confuse Ryuga even more. "What do you mean?"
"Arguing like this is healthy. It allows us to learn and hopefully understand what we think. And hopefully, we can come to some sort of middle ground in the end."
Ryuga looked at the pool of water uncertainly. It's like he wanted to understand what Kamiya believed but couldn't. "It's just human nature, right?"
Kamiya was confused by Ryuga's sudden question. "Huh?"
"When we have different opinions, we're bound to argue over who we think is right. That doesn't sound healthy to me."
"While you do make a valid point, arguing about what we think is right and trying to come to a middle ground in a mature way is healthy. Arguing is only unhealthy when you're fighting for dominance and shouting instead of listening to what the other person has to say and offering your opinion."
"So we're having a healthy argument right now?" Ryuga asked, facing Kamiya.
"Yes."
Ryuga looked back at the pool with narrowed eyes. "It's just… I always thought that arguing was when fought over who was right and who was wrong, refusing to compromise. I guess I just thought of it in a black and white perspective."
"The very fact that you're willing to ask questions to have a better understanding of certain topics proves that you're a natural grey thinker," Kamiya said. "But there's nothing wrong with seeing certain things in black and white, just as long as you try to understand everyone else's perspective."
Ryuga faced Kamiya. "Are you upset that we're arguing?"
"No, not really."
"Do you think your opinion is right, or better than mine?"
"No. If you think about something from multiple perspectives, no one is ever in the right, but no one's in the wrong, either," Kamiya explained.
"I think I understand now… Thank you for giving me a better understanding of arguing, Kamiya-san."
Kamiya smiled. "No problem."
Ryuga awkwardly looked away from Kamiya, as if he didn't know what to say.
"So, did our little argument help you feel a little better?" Kamiya decided to ask, breaking the awkward silence.
Ryuga looked at her. "It… did help me take my mind off of everything." He looked at his right wrist, and Kamiya noticed the same red stain from earlier.
"Are you bleeding?" She couldn't help but worry.
Ryuga covered his wrist with his left hand, avoiding Kamiya's gaze. "…No."
"Then what's that red stain on your sleeve?"
"It… doesn't matter. Will you please stop asking me about it?"
Kamiya kept her eyes on the red stain. She just had a feeling that it was blood. What else could it have been, and why would Ryuga need to hide it from her so badly? She decided to let the matter drop, not wanting to annoy Ryuga when he was starting to feel better. "Okay… Sorry for questioning you about it."
Before Ryuga could respond, he looked at the sky and watched as the sun started to set. The entire sky was illuminated in a beautiful hue of dark orange.
"Sunsets are so magnificent, aren't they?" Kamiya asked dreamily, almost to herself.
"Yeah… They really are."
They were both silent as they watched the sun set completely, and the sky became dark.
"We should probably head home now," Kamiya suggested.
Ryuga just continued to look at the dark sky, a longing expression plastered on his face.
"Do you still not want to go home?"
He looked at Kamiya, then shook his head.
Kamiya took a step towards Ryuga. "Well, if there's something that's bothering you, you can come to me if you want to talk about it."
Ryuga looked surprised by Kamiya's suggestion. "I… need some time to think about it… Thank you for the suggestion, though."
Kamiya smiled. She felt like she was getting Ryuga to open up more and more after every time she talked with him. "It's no problem." She turned around, keeping her eyes on Ryuga. "Come on."
Ryuga turned around and followed Kamiya out of the cove, heading home.
To be continued
AN: And that's chapter 4! Not a lot of development, but it's obvious that Kamiya and Ryuga are getting a little closer to being friends.
And this chapter was very therapeutic for me. I decided to put my own struggles with pleasing others and not wanting to be selfish by venting. I had a friend that advised me that you can't please everyone and can only do what's best for you. So I wanted to put my own experiences into this chapter. I hope I was able to help you guys if you're struggling in your lives.
Feel free to leave a review if this chapter (and overall story) is as therapeutic to you guys as it is to me.
See you in the next chapter!