Different but Same

Chapter 9

AN: I know, I know. It's been two months without an update, but alas, I'm back. This story just kind of comes and goes to me. I can only produce a good enough chapter if I'm in the mood.

Warning: Self-harm

Enjoy!

Kamiya yawned as she sat up straight in her bed. She placed both of her hands on either side of her to push herself off of the bed and onto the floor, but stopped when her right hand touched what felt like paper. She looked at her hand to see that it indeed was rubbing against paper, which was completely blank.

Her eyes narrowed as she remembered why she even had a sketchbook in the first place.

Why hasn't he reached out to me yet? How does he expect me to draw everything out for him if I only have notes to go off of?

She grabbed her phone off of her desk beside her and opened Ryuga's contact, then wrote out her message.

I hope it's not too early, and I know we're going to see each other at school, but could you please send me some chapters of your story so that I can start drawing them out. I would really appreciate it.

She read her message over a few times to make sure she wrote what wanted to discuss, then pressed send with a shaky finger, her breath hitching when the message delivered.

It's fine. The worst he could say is no. It's not like he'll be annoyed… Kamiya looked at her sent message again. Will he be annoyed? She furiously shook her head. "Why am I stressing over this? I need to get ready for school."

She walked out of her room and got ready for school.

Ryuga slung his backpack over his right shoulder after slipping on his brown shoes and grabbed the door handle, but his mother's stern voice stopped him.

"You will be home no later than thirty minutes after school ends, do you understand me?"

Ryuga nodded.

"I don't hear head nods."

"I understand," Ryuga said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," his mother demanded. "It's rude to not look at people when they're talking to you."

But you're not talking to me. You're talking at me. Ryuga erased his point from his mind, not wanting to piss his mother off even further. Slowly, hesitantly, he turned around just enough so that his numb, red eyes were staring into the icy depths of his mother's eyes. "Yes, Mother," he said robotically. "I understand. I will be—"

His mother held a hand up. "I don't want to hear your bullshit reassurances."

She just stared at Ryuga for what felt like an eternity, and Ryuga desperately wanted to look away. He just wanted to get away from this human that was his stepmother.

What if I just ran out of the house? It's not like she can stop me… But he knew that would be a very stupid decision because he would have to suffer the consequences later. Might as well just endure it now…

"Home. 4:00 pm. Do you understand me?"

Ryuga had to stifle a smirk at how crisply his mother instructed him. Even after all these years, she still treated him like a child, and that aggravated him to no end.

"Kioshi!" his mother suddenly shouted, breaking Ryuga out of his thoughts.

He blinked. "Yes?"

"Are you even listening to me, or are you in your own little world, as usual?"

Ryuga fought the urge to narrow his eyes, not wanting to let his brewing irritation show. "I'm listening. I will be home by four."

His mother just continued to stare at him.

After a few seconds of dead silence, Ryuga opened the front door and walked off to school, exhaling a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

Ryuga took out his phone when he felt it buzzing in his pocket, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion when he saw the text he received from Kamiya.

What would she want at this hour? We're going to see each other at school.

To answer his question, he unlocked his phone and read the text, his eyes slightly widening. He never actually thought Kamiya would ask him to send her what he had written of his story so that she could begin drawing.

His eyes suddenly dropped in disappointment. He remembered all of the times he'd talked with people he thought were his friends about his ideas for a story he wanted to write and they would enthusiastically tell him that they would love to read it, but they never actually committed to the action.

Is that what Kamiya-san is doing? Is she just pretending like everyone else? Will she actually draw out my story, let alone read it?

He hoped that wasn't the case. He desperately wanted to believe that she was genuinely being honest with him about wanting to read and draw out his story.

But she already has other friends, so why is she so insistent on being around me?

He thought back to when they first met each other. Back then, every word out of Kamiya's mouth sounded forced, like she felt obligated to speak with him. But after spending weeks talking with her, he slowly began to realize that she was genuinely interested in him and really wanted to be his friend.

If I now understand that, then why am I still having doubts? And over a single text message. Ryuga clutched his face and began to chuckle. "Am I sick in the head or something? What's wrong with me? She's only trying to support me."

Ryuga thought back to yesterday when Kamiya asked him to tell her about his story even though she knew nothing about Pokémon. Did she force herself to ask me about that too, or did she actually want to know? He felt his eyes narrow into a glare. Either way, I'll find out. I'm not getting used again.

Burying his anger and confusion, Ryuga continued to make his way to school.

Ryuga slowly walked through the halls of the school, eventually making it to his classroom. He cautiously darted his narrowed eyes around the class to see if anyone was watching him, then internally sighed in relief when he seemed to be one of the first students there. The ones who were already in class were just talking amongst themselves, which Ryuga was grateful for.

He dropped his backpack beside him and slumped down into his chair, exhaling deeply. He unzipped his backpack and took out his mathematics textbook, then paused, noticing that one of his notebooks was gone. He then remembered that he let Kamiya borrow it so that she could draw his story.

Why did she wait till now to ask me?

Ryuga didn't know the answer. He thought he would be happy that Kamiya actually reached out to him, but all he felt at the moment was confusion and annoyance; coupled with the foul mood his mother put him in before he left for school, so he was not in a good mood.

But he did want answers. That's all he wanted at the moment and he hoped getting them—good or bad—would relieve some of the stress he was feeling.

But he had a feeling he wouldn't get answers, at least, the answers he wanted. He knew how Kamiya would respond. She would try to reassure him that he was just overthinking things and that she never intended to confuse him or use him to make him feel better about himself.

Ryuga thought back to the times when he would occasionally question his friendship with someone he used to think of as a best friend back in junior high school. He just told Ryuga that he couldn't think like that and that none of Ryuga's doubts were true, and Ryuga left it at that, in doing so, his questions began to slowly increase until his best friend suddenly left out of nowhere, never reaching back to Ryuga.

He remembered when another friend of his would occasionally reach out to him to make sure he was doing alright, but she ended up leaving him as well, without a single word.

Did they both just take me for granted? I still don't understand… why they just left me like that… Kamiya suddenly flashed through his mind. Will she leave me the same way they left me?

He didn't want that to be the case, but since it was what had happened to him in the past, he couldn't help but assume the worst. And if the worst were to come, Ryuga knew he would be ready for it.

I have to be. If I let it affect me, then all these years of trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be would've all been for nothing. I need things to work out with Kamiya-san, or else I'll have to break things off. I'm not going to let anyone hurt me ever again!

The rest of the students started taking their seats and class soon began.

When the bell rang throughout the school, Ryuga put his textbooks back in his backpack, then looked at Kamiya, who was already staring at him, for quite some time he assumed.

She let out a soft gasp of surprise as her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink before looking away.

What's her deal? Is she afraid of me? If you want to say something, just say it. But Ryuga didn't want to direct his annoyance or confusion onto Kamiya, so instead he decided to ask "Are you feeling alright?"

She slowly turned her head in his direction, her face now even more red. "I'm fine," she said shyly. She broke eye contact. "But… I am curious as to why you didn't respond to my text this morning…"

Ryuga looked away from her. He too wanted to speak with her about that, but considering how annoyed and confused he was about the whole situation, he never knew he would feel uncomfortable discussing it.

He then remembered what he proclaimed when he first got to school and narrowed his eyes. He had to get this figured out, for both their sakes… "To be honest, I never actually expected you to text me, so I was quite surprised when I read your text this morning."

Kamiya was now staring at Ryuga, remaining silent.

Ryuga slowly turned his head to look at her. "Why did you text me?"

Kamiya blinked, visibly confused. "I wanted you to send me your story so I can start drawing."

"I understand that, but why?" Ryuga asked, wanting clarification. "Why did you decide to text me this morning when you could've just asked me here at school? And why do you want to be around me so often?"

Sweat started running down Kamiya's face. "I… I just wanted to get to know you…"

Ryuga narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure it wasn't out of obligation, back when we first met during library committee?"

"It wasn't like that!" Kamiya denied. Her eyes, which were wide in fear, slumped down as low as the frown that knitted her lips together. "Okay, I only started talking to you to make small talk, but after a while, I was genuinely interested in getting to know you. I felt like I could be myself around you and I missed being that vulnerable."

Ryuga internally nodded, silently accepting the fact that Kamiya genuinely wanted to be his friend, but he still needed to know if she was forcing herself to show interest in what he wanted from her.

This is it… The moment that decides whether I can truly see her as a friend… or if I'll have to push her away like the others.

Taking a deep breath, Ryuga asked, "Why are you so interested in me?"

Kamiya's cheeks instantly flared up, but she still held eye contact. "Because…" She looked away from him, placing a hand over her red ear. "I wanted to know more about you."

"So you're forcing yourself to get interested in something you know nothing about?"

Kamiya looked at him sternly. "I thought we already resolved this yesterday?"

"Well, your text tells me otherwise."

"How? I thought you wanted me to reach out to you?"

Ryuga looked down at his desk. "I guess I assumed you were only texting me because I asked you to. I didn't think you texted me because you actually wanted to." He looked into Kamiya's eyes with his narrowed ones. "So, which is it? Did you text me out of obligation, or because you actually wanted to?"

It was Kamiya's turn to avert her gaze, but Ryuga didn't know if she was feeling guilty or if she was just thinking of a response. He hoped it was the latter. He didn't want to make her feel bad; he just wanted the truth from her.

"I know I might sound clingy and desperate, and you have every right to judge me for it, but ever since I gave you my number, all I've wanted to do was text you." She slowly looked at Ryuga. "Is that so wrong? Wanting to spend time with someone?"

What is it with her? Why does she care so much about me? What have I ever done for her other than lecture her?

"It's alright if you think so. I'm sorry for being so desperate." Kamiya's voice was as hollow as her blue eyes, which were now glistening from the tears that began to fall down her flushed cheeks. "I just…" She looked at him pleadingly, her lips quivering. "I just wanted to get to know you. You were probably the first person I've truly felt connected to. How is that so wrong?"

Ryuga just remained silent, trying to process everything she was telling him.

Kamiya reached into her backpack and pulled out a purple moon necklace, the one Ryuga gifted her on Christmas. "I keep this with me to feel connected with you. I know we're just friends, maybe after this conversation, we won't be, but I just wanted to feel wanted by someone."

Don't you already have Shikimori-san and Nekozaki-san is what Ryuga wanted to ask, but knew doing so would make Kamiya feel even worse. He wanted to make her feel better, but he just didn't understand why talking about this affected her so much.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts and realized that he didn't feel… anything. He wanted to get everything resolved and to help Kamiya, but when it came to how he actually felt about the situation, he didn't feel much emotion.

Why? Do I not care about Kamiya-san? Am I just using her to feel better about myself?

Those questions made Ryuga's stomach churn. He knew he was always emotionless from having cut them off to cope with his pain and neglect, but he never knew it would be so bad that he couldn't feel anything towards anyone.

He wanted to be friends with Kamiya, but he still didn't know why he felt like he couldn't trust her. She'd proven numerous times that she cared about him and wanted to earn his trust, so why couldn't he give his trust to her?

"Do you really not care?" Kamiya choked out, snapping Ryuga out of his thoughts.

He looked at her, feeling like he was about to choke when he saw the heartbroken look in her still-teary eyes. It hurt so much he couldn't keep looking at her. He just couldn't believe that he was the cause of her pain.

He slowly stood from his seat, turning away so that Kamiya couldn't see the pain swimming through his eyes. "I think it's best if you stay away from me… At least that way, you'll be happy…"

He didn't hear a response from Kamiya, and that bothered him even more. He wanted her to say something, anything, but she said nothing.

Ryuga then left the classroom, leaving Kamiya on her own to weep.

Kamiya remained seated at her desk, covering it in her tears, which were still falling freely down her cheeks. She never expected any of this to happen. She never expected Ryuga to get annoyed just because she texted him.

But it wasn't solely because I texted him. He was annoyed because he thought I was using him.

And that's what confused Kamiya. She didn't know why Ryuga would have any reason to believe that she wanted to use him.

She thought back to when he asked her if she was forcing herself to befriend him. She never once thought she was forcing herself to be his friend. She always wanted to be his friend, from the first day they met.

Why can't Ryuga-san understand that? She remembered when he told her that he once had a best friend who left him out of the blue and broke his trust in others. So he's not necessarily angry at me, he just can't bring himself to fully believe that someone actually wants and needs him in their life. She clenched her fist and placed it on her pounding heart.

"So are you just going to keep your distance and only interact with Ryuga-san because of 'circumstance', or are you going to accept how you feel and try to get what you want?"

Kamiya felt her eyes widen as she let out a sharp gasp, remembering when Shikimori told her those words when she was first telling her about Ryuga.

She and Nekozaki-san helped me so much when I was trying to befriend Ryuga-san.

Despite knowing that and being eternally grateful to them, she felt like it was all for nothing. She felt like she was back to square one when she first met Ryuga, and that made her feel even more lost and lonely. After Christmas, she thought things were going great, and everything was now ruined over a simple text message.

Kamiya replayed Shikimori's advice multiple times in her head, then stood from her seat, wiping the tears from her eyes, which were now narrowed determinedly. Ryuga-san, I'm not letting you go. I will do whatever it takes to right my wrongs and to earn your friendship and forgiveness.

She grabbed her backpack and walked out of the classroom.

Kamiya marched through the hallways, ignoring all of the stares she received from everyone.

"Where have you been, Kamiya-san?" Shikimori asked, smiling brightly as she wrapped her arm closer around Izumi's.

"I can't talk right now." Without further explanation, Kamiya marched past the couple, then stopped at the end of the hallway, looking in every direction. "Where did he go?"

She remembered the other place she found him in the school. "The roof." She then turned to her right and started climbing several flights of stairs, until she finally reached the top.

And to her luck, she saw Ryuga, who was sitting against the fence with his knees tucked into his chest, and his arms were hanging over them with his left sleeve rolled up.

She approached him hesitantly. "Ryuga-san?"

He didn't respond. All he did was press his right hand down.

"Ryuga-san… what are you doing?"

She widened her eyes at the sight. He had a pencil-sharpening blade in his right hand and was using it to cut into his left forearm, which had multiple small cuts all over, but none of them looked that deep, and none of them cut through the very noticeable veins throughout his arm. He was still bleeding, however.

Ryuga's hand started shaking and he slowly looked up at Kamiya with frightened eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Kamiya sat next to him. "I did come looking for you for a reason, but right now, all I want to do is get you some help. Come on, I'll take you to the nurse."

"Don't."

Kamiya let out a surprised gasp at how desperate Ryuga sounded. "But… you're bleeding."

Ryuga looked back down at his cut-up forearm. "Good. At least then, I can forget my problems, even if it's just for a moment."

"What do you mean?" Kamiya asked.

Ryuga's eyes narrowed and he pressed the blade deeper into his arm, causing more blood to gush out.

"Hey! Please don't do that, Ryuga-san!" She placed her hand over his, and to her relief, Ryuga stopped cutting. He looked at her, pulling his hand away slightly, but still didn't put up any resistance when Kamiya pulled the blade out of his hand. "I'm here to help you. So please, just talk to me, okay?"

"Why do you still insist on helping me?" Ryuga asked. "After just pushing you away again, why do you still want to be around me?"

Kamiya smiled warmly. "Because you're my friend and I want to help you. I don't like seeing you in pain all the time. I hate not being able to do anything to help you." She averted her gaze to his bloody arm, trying not to cringe at the sight. "I never intended to use you. I really wanted us to be friends. If I didn't want that, then I would've come up with some excuse to not be around you like I do with everyone else."

Ryuga was silent, but Kamiya didn't mind. She wanted him to take as much time to process everything.

"So you texted me because you wanted to, not out of obligation?" Ryuga eventually asked.

Kamiya looked into his downcast eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I only texted you out of obligation to draw out your story. I can see why that caused so much confusion."

Ryuga just nodded.

Kamiya leaned closer to Ryuga. "But I truly am honored to read and draw your story. Please don't think I'm only doing it out of obligation. Again, if I wasn't interested, I would've come up with an excuse to avoid you."

Another nod.

Kamiya fought the urge to back away from Ryuga as she felt her heart sink. She knew he didn't fully believe her, and that frustrated her because she was doing everything to make him feel better.

What am I supposed to do?

She glanced at the self-inflicted cuts on Ryuga's left arm. "Why did you do that to yourself?" she decided to ask.

"…I harm myself to forget about my problems and to let my anger out," Ryuga finally said. "It's the only way I can truly cope."

"But… Doesn't it hurt?"

"At first it did, but I eventually became desensitized to the pain. I'm essentially indifferent to it now." His eyes narrowed. "It's kind of sad, really. I have so many problems that I've become numb to pain with a blade…"

"Did you start cutting because of your parents?"

Ryuga was silent for a moment, then nodded. "I don't necessarily know how it started. I was just so angry after getting lectured by them, and then when I was alone, I saw a knife I had, and then I…" He swallowed, looking haunted by the memory.

"You don't have to tell me if it affects you this much," Kamiya whispered softly.

"No, it's fine," Ryuga assured her. "Most of the time, I would be angry with myself when I would cut."

"Why?"

Ryuga glared at his arm. "I would have so many questions running through my mind that I couldn't help but think that I'm the problem, not my parents, people I thought were my friends, or anybody else I always tried to blame." His eyes softened. "Maybe I'm right… Maybe I'm just sick in the head. Maybe that's why no one can understand me… and why I never had a true friend…"

The small crack in his voice made Kamiya want to cry, but she knew she couldn't get emotional. She wanted to comfort Ryuga beyond words. She wanted to hug him, to hold his hand, to hold him, but she knew she couldn't, especially when he was in so much pain.

"Ryuga-san, you're not sick in the head," she reassured him. "You have so much wisdom to give to others and you've helped me so much in the past few months."

Ryuga just stared at her, wide-eyed.

Feeling bold, Kamiya took the pencil sharpening blade and pressed it against her hand, but hesitated.

"Wait, Kamiya-san, what are you doing?" Ryuga asked cautiously.

To answer him, Kamiya slashed the blade against the palm of her hand outwardly in a horizontal arc, cutting her hand. She fiercely clasped her injured hand into Ryuga's to try and cut off the pain, but she couldn't prevent the suppressed moan she let out.

"Kamiya-san…"

After taking a deep breath, Kamiya looked at Ryuga with an intense look in her glowing blue eyes. "Ryuga-san, you no longer have to carry all these painful burdens inside because I'll carry them with you. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel safe and protected. So you don't have to worry anymore, okay?"

Ryuga just looked at Kamiya dumbly. It was obvious that he was too shocked to provide a response. He wasn't even blinking; just staring at Kamiya with wide eyes that seemed to only say one word.

Why?

Kamiya tightened her grip around his hand, barely realizing that she also pulled it closer to her and was now hovering over her leg. "You're probably the kindest person I've ever met and want to help you convey that kindness towards yourself. I know I need to show myself kindness as well, but I want to do it together." She looked away from him as she felt a light heat crawl up her cheeks. "Will you let me?"

Ryuga was still staring at her with wide eyes. "You're not mad at me for hurting you?" he eventually asked.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I was never mad. I was just confused, and after taking some time to rethink everything, I think I understand why you were so bothered by me texting you."

Ryuga met her gaze, his eyes narrowing. "The fact that you actually listened to what I had to say is really reassuring."

Kamiya forced herself to keep smiling, not wanting to show how much Ryuga's sarcasm affected her. "It's clear to me that you don't trust anyone, which is why you're so cautious and on guard whenever someone does something you don't expect. Once that happens, you begin to question their motives and create defense mechanisms for yourself, which is why you pushed me away back in class, right?"

Ryuga just nodded.

She leaned closer to him so that there was only a few inches of space between them and pulled their hands in front of her chest. "I understand that it's going to take a lot of time for you to trust others again, but I'll wait for you… because you're my friend and you're worth trusting, Ryuga-san."

His eyes were wide again and his mouth hung agape. "I… I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything," Kamiya whispered. "Sometimes actions speak louder than words."

Ryuga's eyes dropped to their hands, but he didn't seem to be staring at them. He looked like he was staring through them, trying to see something beyond what the human eye could see.

"Kamiya-san? What are you doing up here?"

Kamiya clenched her teeth together to hold in the yelp of surprise that dared to escape her mouth, whirling her head towards the roof entrance to see Shikimori and the rest of her friends. I needed to clear my head, is what she wanted to say, but she didn't want to lie, so instead, she said, "I wanted to talk with Ryuga-san."

"You guys seem to be getting along," Nekozaki said, smirking.

"Would you like me to leave?" Ryuga suddenly whispered, sending a chilling shudder down Kamiya's spine, but it felt good somehow…

"No, it's fine," she whispered back.

"It's good to see you making new friends, Kamiya-san!" Izumi said with his usual bright, innocent smile.

Kamiya looked up at him and nodded.

Shikimori didn't seem to appreciate Izumi's compliment, however. She was glaring down at Kamiya while pulling Izumi closer to her.

"You shouldn't let your jealousy dictate your actions," Ryuga said, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Who said I was jealous?!" Shikimori exclaimed.

"And you shouldn't cling so closely to Izumi-san without his consent. Can't you see he's too flustered to reciprocate your affection?"

Shikimori, who was now a blushing mess, turned her head to look at Izumi, who was staring at her with wide, confused eyes. "S-Sorry…"

"N-No…" Izumi stuttered. "I don't mind, Shikimori-san."

"And who are you to judge when you're holding Kamiya-san's hand?" Nekozaki rebutted.

Kamiya and Ryuga looked down at their hands simultaneously, both seeming to notice just how close they were to touching Kamiya's chest.

Kamiya pulled her hand away, but winced when a sharp sting surged through the cut on her left palm. She gasped when she felt someone grab her hand and turned to see Ryuga, looking down at her injury intensely.

"How badly does it hurt?" he asked.

"It's not that bad, really," Kamiya tried to reason, but the simple shake of his head told her that he wasn't buying it. "It might hurt a little… But I can just clean it and bandage it up."

"Go to the nurse. She'll help you."

Kamiya nodded, then attempted to stand, but to her surprise, Ryuga tightened his grip on her hand, causing a soft gasp to escape from her mouth. "Ryuga-san?"

He was looking away from her, his bangs covering his pink-colored cheeks. "Thank you for being here for me…" he whispered, then looked at her with glowing red eyes. "I promise, I won't leave you ever again."

Kamiya smiled, clasping their hands together once again. "Thank you, Ryuga-san. I will always be here for you."

He squeezed her hand for just a moment, then slowly slid his hand out of hers.

Despite the minimal contact they just shared, it sent butterflies fluttering inside Kamiya. That brief amount of physical contact made her forget about the pain from her cut hand and all she could focus on was how safe and protected she felt when she was with Ryuga.

The bell rang throughout the entire school, signifying that lunch was now over.

"Come on, lovebirds!" Inuzuka called out. "We've gotta get back to class!"

We're not lovebirds. Kamiya ignored her thought and rose to her feet alongside Ryuga, then followed the others back inside.

Ryuga was panting when he jumped up the steps of his front porch, a result of him sprinting the entire way home. He didn't necessarily have to sprint home, but he figured it would be best if he made it home early so his mother wouldn't be as angry.

It's not like it matters. She always finds a reason to direct her anger towards me.

Realizing that he was just wasting even more time getting lost in his thoughts, Ryuga took his key out of his pocket and unlocked the front door. He took his shoes off and scanned the downstairs, letting out a breath he barely realized he was holding when he didn't see his mother.

His relief was immediately drowned when he saw his mother walking down the stairs, her eyes glued to her phone.

"Do you have work today?" his mother asked, keeping her eyes on her phone.

"No," Ryuga said.

"Well, I don't expect you to have taken notice, but the house is disgusting and needs to be cleaned. I've only been asking you all week, but you'd rather waste your time with that girl you like rather than doing something with your life."

Ryuga felt his heart light ablaze, but he forced himself to remain calm and impassive. He didn't care if his mother spoke down on him, he was used to it, but he wouldn't tolerate her talking about Kamiya in such a rude and degrading manner. "Please don't speak about Kamiya-san like that."

His mother finally looked at him, the look of disbelief in her eyes practically emanated around her, raising Ryuga's guard. He was ready for the outburst.

But it didn't come.

"What?" was all she asked.

"I said 'Please don't speak about Kamiya-san as if she were a waste of my time'," Ryuga repeated. "She's not. And I didn't do any cleaning all week because I was working—"

"Shut up!"

There it was, the outburst, but it didn't faze Ryuga.

"You didn't have work yesterday, but, like I just said, you were wasting your time with Kamiya."

"I don't think I was," Ryuga said calmly.

"Is she helping you with your studies or with work?" his mother asked.

"No."

"Then you're just wasting your time hanging around her."

"What would you rather have me do then?"

"Something that will get you somewhere in life. You're not going to get anywhere working part-time at a convenience store."

"I'm only sixteen," Ryuga pointed out. "What am I supposed to do? Drop out of school and get a full-time job?"

"You'll drop out of school when hell freezes over!" his mother yelled. "Don't ever make a ridiculous suggestion like that again! Do you know how much it costs to put you through school?!"

Here we go again… Ryuga internally groaned. He knew it was a great privilege to be put through school and that it could be costly, but his parents always threw it in his face to make him feel like he owed them for it. They talked about everything they did for him as if it were a chore and that irritated him to no end. Why are they even parents?

"Of course you don't know," his mother was saying. "You don't care enough to know."

"It's not my business to know. If paying for my education bothers you so much, find a way to make more money, or take fewer vacations and actually contribute." Ryuga immediately regretted saying that. He meant what he said, but he didn't want to know the consequences since he knew he would push his mother past her patience.

"How dare you tell me what to do?!" she shrieked. "You ungrateful, uncaring, monotonous, piece of shit! You're lucky to even be born, and this is how you treat me?! If your biological mother were here, she wouldn't even want to look at what a disgrace you are!"

The small flame that shrouded Ryuga's heart spread like wildfire throughout his entire body. He had to close his now glowing eyes to hide how angry he was and hid his clenched fists in his pockets. "If you have nothing else to say, I'll start cleaning now," he decided to say, even though he wanted to get in his mother's face. He wanted to defend himself, to scream back at her, to tell her how disrespectful and inconsiderate she was, but he knew it wouldn't matter in the end. If he let his blazing emotions dictate his actions, he would have to later face the consequences of his father, and he didn't want to face that.

His mother crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes accusingly. "You better. And you better do it right the first time, or else you're redoing everything."

"All right," Ryuga said, then trudged into the laundry room to get the cleaning supplies.

Ryuga let out a sigh of exhaustion as he collapsed onto his bed, arms spread out beside him. Even though it was only 6:30 pm, he just wanted to close his eyes and pass out, but he had too many thoughts swimming through his mind to manage that.

He was relieved that his father wouldn't be home until nearly midnight, so he didn't have to worry about dealing with him. And he knew his mother wouldn't bother him, so he allowed himself to relax.

His mind wandered to the argument he had with his mother when he got home from school. As usual, she didn't even seem happy to see him. She just found a reason to put him down and that infuriated him. He didn't understand why she was always in such a foul mood.

What's so wrong with her life that she's always so unhappy? She doesn't have to work, is living comfortably here, and gets to travel whenever she wants. Ryuga widened his eyes when he remembered what his best friend from junior high school told him.

"Your mother is unhappy all the time because she's bound to the word of your father. She just wants to travel, hang out with her friends, and do whatever she wants while neglecting all of her responsibilities, which is why she treats you like shit all the time."

After Ryuga learned that and eventually came to understand it, he started caring less and less about what his mother thought about him. He started defending himself, which always led to arguments between them, and it was also then that he started cutting himself to cope and forget about the torment and abuse he had to live with every day.

Ryuga glanced down at his forearms, narrowing his eyes as they focused on each fresh cut and scar. He sat up and pulled a switchblade out of the drawer of his nightstand. He flicked the blade out and held it above his right forearm.

Right before he could cut into his skin, his phone started buzzing. He glanced at it, widening his eyes when he saw that he received a text from Kamiya.

What does she want?

Deciding to find out, Ryuga unlocked his phone and read the text.

"How are you doing? You seemed pretty stressed before you left for home. I hope you made it in time and that your mother didn't give you a hard time. If you need to vent, I'm here."

Ryuga felt the corners of his lips curve into a small smile, happy that Kamiya not only reached out to him, but wanted to make sure he was doing okay. "I'm doing fine, I guess. I got home in time, but that still didn't prevent the argument I had with my mother. How are you doing?" he replied.

"…Do you want to video chat so we can actually talk about it?"

"I would prefer that, yes, but I don't want to draw any more attention to myself, so I think it would be best if we just text. Is that alright with you?"

"Of course! I'm always happy to communicate with you. Are you feeling better now? What was your mother angry about?"

Despite having to think about the argument, Ryuga still felt happy. This was probably the first time someone he thought of as a friend was reaching out to him out of their own accord, not out of obligation or because he asked them to. "I'd prefer to actually talk with you about it. I guess it's just easier to vent that way and it's easier to understand each other. It's easy for words to be taken out of context while texting (at least, for me). But I'm feeling better now that I'm texting you. If you hadn't reached out, I would've cut again."

A few seconds went by before Kamiya's response came through. "That's very sweet. I hope I can help you fight through your struggles. And please don't continue to cut. I know it's your way of coping and forgetting, but… what if you severely injure yourself? I don't want to see that happen to you, so please just come to me if you want to talk, okay?"

Ryuga glanced down at his switchblade. Since he was now texting Kamiya, he hadn't gotten an urge to cut to forget about his struggles. Talking with Kamiya about them was all the help he needed, and he felt better emotionally as well.

He put it away in the drawer of his nightstand, then wrote out his response. "I appreciate you being here for me, but I don't want to constantly burden you with my problems, which is also another reason why I'd prefer to talk about these things in person. And to be honest, if I'm going to quit cutting, I feel like you'll have to be with me all the time since cutting is my immediate form of safety for me."

"Well, I won't always be available to get back to you, but I'll do my best. Just try to think positively. You're a strong person, Ryuga-san."

"I understand. I'm busy a lot too, so I won't always be available, but I'll do my best to get back to you. And like I said, I don't like to talk over the phone because I don't like drawing attention to myself, so please don't take offense if I don't answer your calls."

"I understand. Thanks for the clarification. You're really great at communicating. And… if you want to spend some time together, would you like to hang out this weekend?"

Ryuga could practically hear how nervous Kamiya was from her response. He never expected her to ask him to hang out outside of school.

He suddenly remembered when she took him to the cove that only she knew about. "That's fine with me. I think that will be good for both of us. But I would also like to hang out to get to know each other better, not just as a means to escape our problems. And we'll have to go during the evening because I work in the mornings on weekends."

"That's fine. I'm glad you also want to hang out and want to get to know me more. Sorry, my mother just got home, so I should go. I hope I was able to help you a little."

Ryuga felt his lips drop to a frown. He wanted to keep texting with Kamiya, but he knew she wouldn't always be available. And I've been able to get through the past few years without anyone, so I can go a few more hours without her. "All right. I appreciate you reaching out to me. Thank you, Kamiya-san. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Also, I'll send you some chapters of my story so you can start drawing."

"Yes! I would love that! Talking with you about your story definitely reignited my love for art and drawing. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryuga let out a light chuckle after reading her final message, which he read over through the rest of the night.

"Kamiya-san, I'm glad you accept me as a friend."

Those were the last words he whispered before falling into a deep slumber.

To be continued

AN: I know things seemed to go back to square one throughout this chapter, but that's the result of Ryuga's overthinking. At least he was able to work things out with Kamiya and they're now a little closer. Sometimes a little argument can bring people closer.

And I hope you all enjoyed reading Ryuga's POV. I didn't want to reveal too much about him, but just enough that he could slowly heal alongside Kamiya.

I'm grateful to everyone who continues to read this story. I hope it's helping anyone who is struggling.

And if there's anyone out there who cuts themselves, I urge you to go to someone for help. If you have someone close to you who you trust completely, please just talk to them. It will help a lot.

Again, thank you for reading! I'll see you next time! And enjoy your Halloween!