Three Months Later
"You're sure Phil wanted this, Claire?" a man's voice asked on the other end of the phone. He didn't seem to be convinced of what Claire was telling him. "Absolutely. Phil and I mutually agreed that the relationship isn't working out, and that going our separate ways will be better for us and for the kids." Claire insisted. "Well, all of the paperwork seems to be in order." the man told her. "Great! Thank you for your help, Mitchell. I'm really glad I could come to you for this." Claire said. "Glad I could help. I wish it was with something less grim than ending a marriage but that's what families do. I've gotta go, I've gotta process this and get you guys all set up. Love you." Mitchell said. "Love you too." Claire hung up the phone. And with that, she walked over to her and Phil's bedroom and proceeded to open the window and throw some of Phil's clothes out on the front lawn.
Phil's car pulled into the driveway. He was walking towards the front door when he noticed some of his clothes on the front lawn and became confused. "What the..." he began to say, before Claire threw more of his clothes out the window. "Claire, what are you doing? Why are you throwing my clothes outside?" Phil asked. "Because it's over!" Claire told him. "What!?" Phil asked in shock. "It's over, Phil! We're getting a divorce!" Claire told him. "But why?! What did I do?!" Phil asked. "Because I've had it, Phil! I've had it with the stupid things you say and do! You undermine me, you make me the bad guy, you have stupid ideas, and you never take my advice!" Claire yelled at him. "But Claire, I can change! Please, give me another chance!" Phil pleaded. "Absolutely not!" Claire told him. "But the kids..." Phil begun to say, before Claire cut him off. "I'll tell them. You can have them on weekends. "Where am I gonna go!?" Phil asked. "Figure it out." Claire told him, continuing to throw clothes and various belongings out the window, nearly hitting Phil in the head. He managed to dodge just in time.
"Can't we work this out?" Phil asked. "I don't want to work things out, Phil! And even if I did, it's too late! I sent the divorce papers to Mitchell, he's in the process of legalizing them!" Claire told him, throwing a couple suitcases out the window. "But I never signed any divorce papers!" Phil protested. "Yes, you did, last week!" Claire told him. It then occured to him that the paper Claire had him sign (that he didn't actually read) was a divorce paper. Claire told him it was a permission slip for a field trip for Luke (which she herself already signed).
"Goodbye, Phil!" Claire slammed the window shut and locked it. "Claire!" Phil ran up to the front door as Claire locked that, too! "Claire please, let me in! I'm sorry! I can change! Please, don't do this to me!" Phil kept knocking on the door, but Claire ignored him. "Ple-he-he-hease!" he sobbed, continuing to knock on the door, but to no avail. Adding insult to injury, Phil still had to go back to work. It was his break, and the reason he came back to the house in the first place was because he forgot his house key (which sadly was as good as Claire's now). He packed his things into his suitcases as he wept, going to work. The hardest thing for him was to pretend that everything was okay as he continued his shift, and to find a place to live on such short notice.
Later That Night
"My god, Phil, I am so sorry! That's awful! Of course, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. We have 2 guest rooms down in the basement. I'll see you soon. Bye." Michael hung up the phone. He then walked over to Emma. "I just got off the phone with Phil. He and Claire are getting a divorce. She kicked him out of the house. He was coming by during his break to grab his house key and she threw his stuff out the window and told him it was over. I'm sorry, I know I probably should've consulted you first, but he had nowhere to go so I told him he could stay in one of the guest rooms as long as he needed. Is that okay?" Michael asked.
"Yes, that's fine. Had it been somebody else, it'd be one thing, but I've known Phil for almost 20 years. I don't mind that you didn't consult me. In fact, I would have done the same thing. Poor Phil. I hope he can get back on his feet soon." Emma said. "Me too, he'll be here in a couple hours. I'm gonna tell Robbie and Diego." Michael said. "Okay. Jen and Jonesy get home in about half an hour, want me to tell Jen and you tell Jonesy?" Emma asked. "Sure." Michael said.
Eventually, Jen and Jonesy got home from the mall and headed to their bedrooms. Jen heard a knock at her door. "Jen, sweetie? I need to talk to you about something." she said from the other side of the door. Jen got up and opened it. Emma walked in as Jen closed the door behind her. The two sat down on her bed. "Claire and Phil are getting a divorce, and Phil is gonna be living with us for the time being. We don't know how he and Claire are splitting up custody of Haley, Luke and Alex but, one way or another they may be spending time here as well. In any case, the good news is none of you kids have to give up or share your rooms. Phil will stay in one of the guest rooms, and the kids will be staying in either Courtney's old room or in the other guest rooms." Emma told her.
"Wow, okay." Jen said, a little surprised, trying to process this information. "I know this is kind of sudden, but Michael got off the phone with him and it's bad. He came home during one of his breaks at work because he forgot his house key, and when he got there, Claire was throwing his belongings out the window and told him it was over. He had nowhere else to go, so we told him he could stay with us." Emma explained. "Oh no!" Jen said. "Yeah, it really is terrible. I know this is a big adjustment but can you please be extra nice to Phil and do what you can to make him feel at home?" Emma asked.
Jen was pretty little the last time she saw Phil or Claire, so she didn't really remember much about either of them. However, she did feel bad for Phil and knew what he was going through was awful, and she knew that based on the stories Emma told her, she knew he was always very kind to her and Courtney when they were little; he and Claire would often babysit if Emma had to pick up an extra shift at work or had to run to the grocery store. Phil would sometimes take them to the zoo or to the park and they'd have a blast. And when Emma would drop them off with him and Claire, he'd make them peanut butter cookies and watch Toy Story with them. He also, to this day, gave them $50 with their birthday cards and Christmas cards every year. "Of course." Jen said. "Thanks, sweetie. It may not be so bad, he adores you and Courtney so maybe spending time with you again will cheer him up. It's meeting the boys that I'm a little worried about..." Emma said. Jen laughed. "That is true. And maybe I can be friends with Haley, Alex and Luke. We were friends when we were little." Jen said. "That's the spirit! Love you, sweetie." Emma said, getting up to leave the room. "Love you too." Jen replied.
Meanwhile, Michael had a very similar conversation with Jonesy. He knocked on Jonesy's door. "Hey champ, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked. "Sure, Dad. What's up?" Jonesy asked. Michael came into the bedroom and sat down next to Jonesy on his bed. He noticed there was a bunch of dirty clothes on the floor, as well as old soda cans and his bed was unmade. "What did I tell you about cleaning your room?" Michael chastised. "Da-ad!" Jonesy whined. "Actually, that can wait. This is more important. Jonesy, do you remember how a couple months back, Emma and I went on a double date with Emma's friend Claire and her husband, Phil?" Michael asked. "Yeah, why?" Jonesy asked. "Well, I got off the phone with Phil earlier, and he and Claire are getting a divorce. He came home on one of his breaks at work because he forgot his house keys, and he came home to Claire throwing his things out the window and kicking him out. He had nowhere else to go, so I told him he could live with us for a while, at least until he could get back on track. He'll be here later tonight. I know this is a big adjustment, but I'm asking you, can you be extra sensitive towards Phil and make him feel at home?" Michael asked. "Yeah, Dad, you know I will." Jonesy said.
"Atta boy. Phil has three kids, Haley and Alex, his daughters, and his son, Luke. Now I'm gonna ask that you and your brothers don't get involved romantically with his daughters. Especially not with them staying here." Michael said. "Got it." Jonesy said. "I really hope neither of them are hot!" he thought to himself. "Thanks, champ. Now clean your room!" Michael told him sternly. "Yeah, yeah!" Jonesy said impatiently, getting up to start cleaning his room.
A couple hours later, the doorbell rang, and Michael answered it. There stood Phil. He had two suitcases in each hand, and his eyes looked red and puffy, like he'd been crying. "H-hi, Michael." he said in a shaky voice. "Phil, my God. Come on in." Michael said, stepping out of the way and opening the door wider to let Phil in. Phil walked into the house. "Thank you guys so much for letting me stay here. I promise, I won't be a bother. You won't even know that I'm here." Phil said. "You could never be a bother, man. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need, and I mean that. Now let's get you situated." Michael said. He walked downstairs with Phil following close behind. There were two bedrooms to the left and right of the basement hallway, and in the middle was an office with a computer in it. Both bedrooms were pretty much identical in terms of size. Even the beds and bedding was pretty much identical, both beds were twin sized with thick red velvet colored blankets, white pillowcases and sheets. Phil chose the one on the left at random. He set his things down near the closet and sat down at the foot of the bed. "Now, is there anything I can do for you? Can I get you a beer or something?" Michael asked. Phil broke down sobbing. "I can't believe this is happening to me! I should've been a better husband! Maybe if I had-"
Michael pulled him into a hug. "Hey, hey. Listen to me, none of this is your fault. Okay, Phil? Don't you dare blame yourself for one second, you don't deserve any of this. I hate seeing you go through this, it pains me to see you in pain like this. This is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever go through, and it's gonna take a while, but you'll overcome this. Trust me, I was in a similar situation and I never thought I'd overcome it, but in time, I did. And you will do. Just remember, I'll be in your corner every step of the way." Michael told him. Phil was still crying a little bit, but had calmed down a bit. "Thanks, Michael. I guess I should've seen this coming. Our marriage has been rocky for over a year, even before our double date with you and Emma. We had one really bad fight because I tried a wedge salad after my coworker recommended it. But Claire suggested I try it for years and I never did. But she didn't tell me that was why she was mad, she just freaked out. I'd never seen her so angry before, Michael! Our marriage had been rocky ever since, it was the worst fight we'd had in almost 20 years of being married." Phil said. "Even worse than the fight at the restaurant when we met?" Michael asked, shocked. "Oh yeah! Much worse!" Phil nodded. "And she never told you why she was angry?" Michael asked, starting to feel indignant himself.
"She refused to tell me what was wrong when I asked her, and when I tried to think of what caused it, she mimicked me when I tried to get a word in edgewise, threw the cauliflower I got at me and stormed off. She came back because her robe got caught in the door, but she had to come in through the dog door. I was cleaning the cauliflour mess and I thought it was a squirrel coming in, so I got a fire extinguisher and sprayed her thinking she was a squirrel. That only made her angrier, and she called me an idiot and sprayed me, destroying the microwave and the oven. I spent the whole next day stressing over what I possibly could've done wrong, but Claire insisted that she was fine. It wasn't until that night, when we went to dinner and I ordered a wedge salad that she finally told me why she was mad. She said she couldn't believe I took someone else's advice over hers, accusing me of never taking her advice and saying it made her feel like she didn't matter. I felt terrible, I never meant to make her feel that way. But now that I knew what was wrong, I wanted to fix it. I may not have taken her advice about that but I took her advice all the time about other things. After that we went to my brother in law's husband's fundraiser and I showed her old pictures of how much of a dork I was when I met her and how taking her advice helped me. The wedge salad incident was the only time I didn't take her advice. She seemed to finally forgive me but ever since then she's been accusing me of not taking her advice, and undermining her in front of the kids and not listening to her. I will admit I do sometimes I do want to step in and lighten the blow when I feel like she's being too hard on them, it's hard being a kid sometimes. But I guess I do undermine her by doing that. And I do tend to be somewhat absent minded and I don't always listen to her. Maybe she's right, maybe this is all my fault..." Phil said, sounding like he was on the verge of crying once again.
"This is not your fault, Phil! At all! Claire's behavior is completely unacceptable, and she should be ashamed of herself for treating you that way! Even if you never took her advice, nothing would warrant her reacting the way she did! Would you have ever done that to her, no matter how angry you were?" Michael asked. "No." Phil said softly. "And let me guess, did you ever ask for her advice on which salad to try?" Michael asked. "No." Phil said. "That's all the more reason her behavior was not okay. Unless you asked for her advice, she doesn't get to give it to you, regardless of what her intentions are. Unless someone is doing something that could hurt themselves or others, inserting your opinion where it's not asked for regarding what someone else should or shouldn't do is disrespectful and presumptive. Nobody likes when someone does that, especially when they play the victim card and accuse the other person of not listening. It's bullshit! And I'm guessing she never took advice from you, did she?" Michael asked.
"No. Well, to be fair, she didn't really ask me for advice, and so I almost never gave it. The one time I did, it was unsolicited, but it was only because she got a job offer from my real estate rival, Gil Thorpe. Seriously the biggest jerk I've ever met, even Luke agreed. But he'd told me about all the ways he wanted to sexually harass her, and I felt like I had to warn her. She didn't want to hear it, and told me I have dumb ideas, and had a long list of my ideas she didn't like. She also accused me of not being supportive and appreciating her and accepted the job, only to quit after finding out I was right." Phil said. "Let me guess, no apology or acknowledgement that you were just trying to help?" Michael asked. "None." Phil said.
"God, I hate this woman! I'm sorry, I know you still love her. And it's because you're my friend and she's the mother of your children that I'm gonna be civil towards her. I'm gonna have to interact with her for the time being anyway with you staying here. Are you guys officially divorced or are you filing in court? Just so that I know if you guys have officially worked out custody arrangements." Michael asked. "It's official. She had me sign a permission slip for Luke. At least I, thought, it was a permission slip. I didn't read it." Phil said, somewhat sheepishly. "What!? How did she even pull that off?!" Michael asked. "My brother in law, Mitchell, is a lawyer. She probably went to him and told him we were getting a divorce." Phil said, realizing what had happened. "That's it! Tomorrow morning, I'm going to hire a lawyer to represent us and I'm going to press charges!" Michael said, seething with rage. "No, Michael, please don't!" Phil pleaded. "Phil, I know you're in a vulnerable place right now and I know you still love her, but this is very serious. This isn't even because I don't like her. She just committed perjury, that's a serious felony! And she stole your kids and betrayed you in the worst possible way!" Michael said, patiently but somewhat firmly, as he wasn't mad at Phil, he just wanted Phil to understand the gravity of the situation.
"I know, I know. But I don't think Mitchell knew I didn't want this. Mitchell and I were close, I don't think he'd knowingly do this to me. He could lose his license and go to prison, too. Plus, if Claire goes to prison, how would it affect the kids? I know you just want to help me, and I really appreciate it, but if you press charges, it could hinder the family more than help." Phil explained. Michael sighed. "I didn't think of it that way. It sucks but you're probably right. It doesn't feel right just letting her get away with doing this to you, but I'm just gonna swallow my pride and hope for the best. For the kids sake." he said, calming down. "Thanks, Michael." Phil said. "Of course. Now what's the custody agreement?
"I get the kids on weekends." Phil told him. "Okay, we have a bed in the other guest room, but tomorrow we can go mattress shipping for two more beds for Courtney's old room. Luke can stay in the other guest room, and Haley and Alex can share Courtney's old room. That okay with you?" Michael asked. "Yeah, that sounds great." Phil said. "Okay, good. Now, we should probably head upstairs, dinner's almost ready. You'll also meet my boys for the first time." Michael said, as he and Phil walked out of the bedroom and headed upstairs.