The Dark Side of Disney Season 3 Episode 2

by Cosmotron

With the Dark Side of Disney back in action, Direwolf tries to get new recruits, but the Resistance are low on cash and so many are interested in joining in. As for Saber, he tries to find one of the Resistance's missing comrade Lt. Rowdy who was last in sailing on a boat in the open ocean. And at the same time, Maleficent has a big surprise for her enemies.

The Dark Side of Disney 3

Episode 2: Reassembly Line

Act One

Sunday, July 21 2024 1100 hours

In the briefing room at MIB HQ, Direwolf is giving a presentation to the remaining members of the Resistance. The Twins have made a picture of the Double-R Device on the big screen as the General briefs them.

Direwolf: All right, let's review this for once. At precisely 2100 two nights ago, Exhibit "A"… th Double-R Device… was stolen. Exhibit "B": the two crooks from 101 Dalmatians claimed responsibility for it. Exhibit "C": Composite sketch of the mastermind, the so-called wizard king.

The Twins make a false picture of Magnifico who's got a long beard.

Groot: I am Groot.

Donnie: Sir? We've seen the movie before, and he didn't have a beard like that.

Direwolf: Fine. Uh, Twins, give him a short shave.

The Twins redraw Magnifico again with his original beard.

Raph: Does it mean we're going to face him off?

Direwolf: We can if we must. Don't question your commander, Raphael.

Eddy: Never mind, let's just go straight to Exhibit "F": The flee of the scene.

Eddy shows the crime scene remake on the table made with LEGO to make Universal buildings, and the small figure is used to represent Magnifico.

Eddy: Now the guy fled the scene down east, in this direction.

Rocket: Your eyes are drawn backwards. It's the other way.

Eddy: Hey, go chew a can, raccoon.

Rocket: [ticked] WHAT?!

Ed: How do you spell Ghostbusters?

With Ed walking around, he accidentally bumps into the table, messing the crime scene remake up

Eddy: My crime scene!

Raph: Hey, watch where you're goin', Crash Bandicoot.

Ed: Was the crime scene a pizza gag?

Edd: No, Ed. We're trying to-

Cobalt: Guys, cool it. A little quiet please.

Everyone looks confused at each other, then Proto walks over to Cobalt who is typing some letters into the computer's keyboard to figure out the anime Seven Mortal Sins.

Proto: What are you doing?

Cobalt: I'm trying to work, Proto. There's something about the anime Hades had that's getting me to think about the future.

Eddy: So what? It's an anime, it's an anime. All we need to know is that it's another thing of Sailor Moon and junk.

Cobalt: No, it's something else. Something far more powerful than we'd know.

Proto: Haven't you called Rowdy about it? She's just as much of an anime fan as the General is.

Cobalt: I already called her, but she's not answering.

Direwolf: Attention!

By his call, everyone in the briefing room stands up to attention.

Direwolf: Listen to me. Whether or not that guy has a plan with the machine, we all need to assume the Dark Side is back in action. That means we need to round up all the troops we have, get them arms and ready for action, and when we see a Disney villain in sight, we give him hell. Understand?!

All: Sir, yes, sir!

Direwolf: That's better. Dismissed.

Everyone leaves the room, and Direwolf walks off to the hallway, meeting up with K and J.

Direwolf: Any news from Disneyland?

K: Nothing yet, sir. We're using fingerprints, drones, security cameras, and voice recognitions, but no further intel on King Magnifico.

J: It's like he just vanished into thin air. Maybe he's gone back to his world.

K: Not likely, slick. We would've known the moment the Isekai Door was triggered.

Direwolf: Until further notice, we must keep a record on those portals. Make sure nothing or no one from Disney is brought out and into here.

J: Well, before you go, the news wants a word with you.

Meanwhile, Saber is in the apartment room of the infantry trooper trio: Victor Kingsley "Bayonet", Terry Matthews "Ranger", and Howard Ridgewell "Dual", alongside Dr. Zoidberg. Ranger and Zoidberg are watching TV boredly while Bayonet counts coins and Dual looks at a vacation brochure, but Saber is reading the newspaper entitled "Resistance to be Failures".

Saber: [displeased] That Jameson. Doesn't he interview before he makes the front page?

Dual: So, where can we go on holiday this year?

Bayonet: I don't think we'll be able to afford anything… good.

Zoidberg: Friends, friends, stop everything. There's food in this shaker.

He begins sucking the salt out of a salt shaker, accidentally swallows it and sneezes mucus all Ranger, who becomes angry and shakes the slime off him.

Ranger: Goddamn it! Enough already! Can you please tell me when we're going to do something?

Saber: Are you bored, Ranger?

Ranger: No…. A little- I mean….

Dual: You know, I did hope that we would do anything and go anywhere we wish as soldiers, because we can take the law into our own hands.

Saber: That would only work when we're given a high rank. I'm ranked as Corporal, due to my success during the Zurg incident, and you guys are still ranked… Privates.

Bayonet: Well, one of us was slacking off more often.

Dual: Hey, you slept during a job.

Bayonet: And you were so drunk, you threw up in the General's car.

Dual: [ticked] Oh yeah?!

Bayonet and Dual both tackle each other, causing a fight.

Zoidberg: Hooray! Dogpile!

Zoidberg jumps off the couch and joins in.

Ranger: You are guys are a bunch off-

Then, Ranger is dragged in by Zoidberg, and they all begin their dogpile/brawl. Saber rolls his eyes in annoyance and walks away to the kitchen to continue reading the paper.

Saber: And they said I'm the immature one.

But when he looks at the paper, he sees one about Lt. Olivia Brent/Rowdy.

Saber: Huh? "Second Lieutenant Olivia Brent, long-known freerunner of the Resistance, is missing"? Rowdy.

Bayonet: Hey, Saber, the General's on TV next.

Immediately hearing that, Saber rushes over to see the news.

Anchor 1: Thankfully, the amazing talking horse was rescued and returned to the meat department.

Anchor 2: [laughs] Turning to the less stupid portion of our broadcast, rumours have begun to spread that the Dark Side of Disney is coming back after a whole year of absence.

Anchor 1: Earlier, our own Morbo sat down with Brigadier General Jonathan Curtis, co-founder and leader of the Resistance program.

An opening montage of "Tea with Titans" is shown. Morbo from Futurama is seen in pictures with Mickey Mouse, Daffy Duck, the Pope and Batman. As soon as the montage is over, the screen shows Direwolf being interviewed by the host.

Morbo: Oh! Hello, Morbo the Annihilator, here, sitting down to a delightful tea in this fake living room set. [shouting] Thank you for joining us, General.

Direwolf: Eh, don't mention it.

Morbo: Now, sixteen years ago, you started your program as a way to fight back the Dark Side. Tell us, is it true that the villains are back?

Direwolf: I cannot say, because that would be classified. The last thing we'd want is a panic on a global scale. But I will say, we had a brief fight with some wizard king from this wishing movie, and he attempted to collect all magic for himself.

Morbo: Well, that is bad news to hear. However, it was in Burbank last week that some toons and li-acs think that you are a complexed fellow. Some say that you hate Disney, due to its acquisitions, some say it's because of Canada's evacuation during 9/11, and some just say you're an asshole.

Direwolf: I was claimed as an asshole?

Morbo: Most of them couldn't say it, due to their rated worlds for being G for people of all ages. But there are some toons like Thaddeus Plotz. Mr. Plotz says you are immature, that's his words.

Direwolf: Plotz? As in… from Animaniacs?

Morbo: Well, we're not paid to share all the details. [to the TV] And that was my guest, General Direwolf Curtis who may deal with any sort of madness in his dull life. When we come back, anime girls are filing complaints for porno photos and videos.

Act Two

At the same time, Thaddeus Plotz from Animaniacs is watching the interview on TV in a living room, and he snickers before shutting it off.

Plotz: That Direwolf is always good for a laugh.

Outside the room, it is revealed that Plotz owns an oil mine in Alaska. A truck transporting fuel away from the mine drives past a white rabbit. When the exhaust dissipates, the rabbit is grey and a polar bear eats it. Plotz is entering his office, which houses a map of the world, and a vault, which Ralph T. Guard is throwing bags of money into. At the other end is Greenie, plumping the toilet with a plunger, before he notices Plotz walking in.

Ralph: Duh, afternoon, Mr. Plotz. I think we need to-

Plotz: Don't bother, Ralph. I'm busy counting the money, everyone's busy draining the oil for money, and you're busy loading the money.

Ralph: Don't you mean guarding the money?

Plotz: That's what the vault is for. [pauses] Where's the plumper?

Hearing that, Greenie rushes over and salutes to Plotz.

Greenie: Right here, sir. Greenie the plumber, at your-

Plotz: Shut up! Now, how's the plumbing going?

Greenie: It was a pretty big one, Mr. Plotz. Whatever it was that Ralph ate last night didn't agree with his stomach, and just… made him throw up all of his meal. But after a good plumbing and scrubbing, it's good as new.

Plotz: That's good to hear. Okay, you can go now.

Plotz walks away from Greenie, who looks befuddled, and flops over to his chair, counting the money on his desk.

Greenie: Uh, sir? As much as I'm pleased that you're happy, I should be paid for all I've done.

Plotz: Yes, I've seen your commercials.

Ralph: Duh, me toos. In fact, I love how you even cleaned the bathtub to gold.

Plotz: But apparently… you and your family were in debt.

Greenie: What do you mean in debt?

Plotz: Well, let's take out your tax forms and see. First we total your income and calculate your deductions for the year. How many dependents, include city, county, state, and federal taxes including license fees. Ooh hoo, that takes you up into a whole new tax bracket!

Greenie: But we all paid for the mortgage.

Plotz: They only paid for the apartment, because you pay the mortgage for the land. You don't pay for it, you don't own it.

Ralph: Duh, yeah! That's real estate law!

Plotz: But I'm now counting on your work in my pipes today. Then add property, sales, excise, stamp, tea and thumb, shipping and handling, multiplied by your shoe size, including your dumb costume, and you owe a grand total of exactly half a million. All that enough to pay three quarters of your family's debt. Have a nice day.

Then, Ralph throws Greenie out the door, having him falling down into the snow, and closes the door behind him. Dejected and swindled, Greenie walks away with his head hanging down and walks off into an igloo, which serves as his temporary apartment. Inside is only a frozen fish over a frozen fireplace, which he takes out to eat slowly. But then, the wind blows hard onto the igloo that it collapses, crumbling into pieces.

Greenie: [sighs] Putain de fils de pute.

But a newspaper flies into his face, and when he takes it off, he sees an ad about the Resistance needing new recruits. As Greenie reads it, he suddenly gets an idea.

Back in his office, Plotz looks like he enjoyed himself with the way he treated Greenie.

Plotz: Hehehe. What a loser that guy is.

[door knocks]

Ralph: [through door] Mr. Plotz?

Plotz hops off of his chair and walks over to the door, opening it only to find the timid Ralph standing there.

Plotz: Ralph? Since when do you knock the door to come in here?

Ralph: Duh, we's got's company's.

Plotz: What?

Pushing the guard aside, Plotz gasps in shock to see rhino guards from Robin Hood standing there and pointing their halberds at them both.

Plotz: [nervously] Uh, hi fellas. Hehe, are we in some sort of trouble, officer?

Act Three

The next day at Universal, Cobalt and Proto are setting up a desk with assistance from Baymax and the Terminator. Lastly, they put up a recruitment sign up top as the finishing touch.

Proto: There we go. Have you done your headcount, Baymax?

Baymax: Yes. We have about 31 hundred clones in service.

Cobalt: And I've counted heads for our team. Nuke, Mad Moe, Lawnmower, Telegram, Boomer and Afterburn are still in service. Including Taser and the infantry trio, which makes four, that makes… ten. But with Rocket, Groot, Arc, Drogon and the Turtles, we're down to fifteen remaining members.

Terminator: We have a line waiting.

Proto: I'll take it from here, Cobalt.

Proto proceeds to his job at the desk, flanked by the two robots, and Cobalt walks over across CityWalk. But then, he spots Saber waving at him behind a store, and he walks over to his little brother.

Cobalt: What is it?

Saber: Listen, it's about Rowdy. The paper says she's reported missing.

Cobalt: Missing? What do you mean?

Saber: Well, when was the last time you saw her?

Cobalt: I haven't spoken to her since Thanksgiving. Last I heard, she and her boyfriend moved up to New Jersey, but that's it.

Saber: Because she was last seen on a boat last weekend, sailing down south, and her neighbor said she was on her way here. But then… that's it.

Cobalt: Look, whatever it is, I'm sure she will come back here. Now if you excuse me, we've got new recruits to find.

Proto is still sitting at the desk, trying to find new members willing to serve the Resistance

Proto: And what makes you think you're worthy to serve the Resistance?

Li-ac #1: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.

Proto: Sorry, sir, but this is not a charity. Next!

Li-ac #2: My wife run off with my dog, and I'm drunk for a month, and I don't give an ass rat's if I live or die.

Proto: Denied! Next!

Li-ac #3: Me have one arm and a bum leg.

Gibbs: The Crow's nest is right there. Next!

Li-ac #4: Is this where you sell your cookies?

Proto: That's a girl's scout activity, and we're soldiers. Take a hike.

As Proto moans in a complaint, Cobalt walks over to him.

Cobalt: How are we going?

Proto: No good. This is as worse as last time when we were at that rusty, old theatre. I feel like all the good ones have gone to waste.

But then, Cobalt and Proto look at somebody that surprises them: Davos Seaworth, Sandor "Hound" Clegane and Gendry, all from Game of Thrones.

Davos: Is this where the new members can sign in?

Proto: Uh…. Yeah. But why join in?

Hound: The War of the Seven Kingdoms is over, and…. Well, after hearing about this world, I was curious to come see this place for myself.

Gendry: I've also heard about all the rare metals here. I would like to see them and find out what I can craft them into.

Davos: And I'd like to explore this Earth.

Proto: Then you're all in luck. Sign the roster sheet right there. Next!

The trio sign their names on the roster, and coming up next is a black-haired anime girl in black armor with a green turtle, which has a flower on its shell.

Cobalt: A new anime girl? And who might you be?

Anime girl: I'm Maple, from the show Bofuri. This is my pet turtle, Syrup, so together, we're Maple Syrup.

Syrup: Turtle.

Cobalt: [stunned; beat] Okay. But what can you do?

Maple: That is simple. Back in my world, I played this video game that my friend introduced me to, I started out as a shielder so I wouldn't get hurt, and I boosted up my vitality to max. Now I'm nicknamed the Walking Fortress.

Hound: Walking Fortress? That sounds better than my brother, the Mountain That Rides.

Proto: And why'd you want to join us?

Maple: Because I like to see what effect this world would get with all of my skills in the game.

Proto: Very well. Sign right there.

Maple walks over to sign her name on the roster, and up next is Greenie.

Cobalt: And you are?

Greenie: Francois Flamme. But my friends call me Greenie. I am a plumber, until I was… cheated into scrubbing a toilet for free. I feel like I should learn to fight back, so after I hear about the Resistance, I was like "Join it. It's free." So I figured I'll lose a few pounds, and you guys give me a six or eight week training program here, which is good for me, I can walk all over town as a mean, green, fighting machine. [laughs]

Proto: You'll do.

Proto gestures to the list for Greenie to sign in, and he walks over to join the other four. Until the General comes over with a visitor.

Direwolf: Proto! Cobalt! Look who's here!

The visitor turns out to be Sabrina Spellman, and her cat Salem from Sabrina The Animated Series.

Cobalt: Sabrina Spellman?!

Before Cobalt can react, Sabrina hugs him and Proto one at a time.

Sabrina: Hi, everyone. Haven't seen you in years.

Salem: And don't forget me!

Direwolf: I was on my way from the interview, when I suddenly found her and her aunts wondering about. Last time I heard from her, she graduated from a witch academy.

Cobalt: So I thought, sir. But who else is here?

Sabrina: Well, there's this one here.

Sabrina reveals to Cobalt the Spookie Jar, but it has a crack on the side.

Cobalt: [shocked] Holy shit. It still lives. The Spookie Jar.

Baymax: It has a crack on the side.

Salem: That's why we're here. I was… high on catnip when I was last found on top of the fridge, and when I woke up, that's when I cracked the jar.

Sabrina: And now we have to… fix this thing, or else the genie living inside of it will wreak havoc and stuff.

Maple: Genie?

Direwolf: I've scheduled a visit to bring her to Hogwarts. Dumbledore should be there. So Cobalt, why don't you give her a little tour?

Cobalt: A tour? But I just-

Direwolf: You can't carry all of the burden to yourself. If you have new recruits, let Taser deal with them. Or maybe Proto.

Cobalt: Alright, alright… sir. [clears throat] Proto, take over for me.

Proto: Sure thing.

Later in Hogwarts, Cobalt and Direwolf enter the school with Sabrina and Salem, who is talking to Kero.

Salem: So Sakura and Madison, we're at this place? Here?

Kero: Yeah. Where else? We had to keep this under wraps.

When Doctor Strange arrives in the hallway, Cobalt and Direwolf walk over to see him.

Direwolf: Doctor? Any idea where Dumbledore is? We'd like to meet him.

Strange: I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He's escorting Professor Xavier and Magneto to the Crossover Resource Committee for their summer duties, and he's meeting Gandalf there.

Strange turns behind the two soldiers to notice Sabrina.

Strange: Who's this?

Cobalt: Old friend. She too studied magic like her aunts.

Sabrina: It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Doctor Strange.

Strange: Well, at least this toon has manners. But… is this some sort of summer school session? Because I still don't do well with kids.

Direwolf: No, she just wants her purple jar fixed, and it requires magic.

Strange: Repairing magic, huh? Well, considering what type of magic spell it requires, I might have some in the potions room, if Slughorn is available.

Direwolf: If you can excuse me Colonel, duty calls.

Direwolf salutes Cobalt before he and Strange leave across the hall.

Salem: Is it true that Dr. Strange works here?

Cobalt: Of course. He does magic too.

Sabrina: This place is so cool.

Cobalt: Mm hmm. What about your friends, back home?

Sabrina: Gem moved away for good, and I still see Chloe.

But then, Sabrina's conversation gets interrupted when she sees a shadowy figure on the ceiling go into the Great Hall.

Sabrina: Hey. What's that? [runs off]

Salem: Hey, wait up, Sabrina!

Sabrina follows the figure through the door and into the Great Hall, where she admires the place.

Sabrina: Whoa! This is cool. Where are the tables anyway?

Cobalt: Argus Filch did say that they were old, and weary. So they're getting new ones.

Then they all see the shadowy figure. A masked bandit, swiping the Sword of Gryffindor from the teachers' table.

Sabrina: Hey! That's not yours!

Cobalt: Whatever you're up to, that sword doesn't belong to you!

Bandit: [woman voice] If you insist….

The bandit throws Gordric Gryffindor's Sword like a knife as they dodge it, and it sticks to the wall without the blade breaking. This makes Kero come out.

Salem: Ha! Ya missed!

Bandit: Oh no. You got a talking black cat, and whatever that thing is. What else do you have? A plant monster?

Kero: That's my friend the Colonel, ya bandit!

Bandit: Speak for yourself ya stuffed animal. Or should I say, Winnie bear with wings?

Kero stops to hear this, as it makes him upset, glaring at the bandit.

Kero: What did you just say?

Bandit: Winnie bear with wings.

Kero: No. Before that.

Bandit: Stuffed animal. What else are you? Nala's grandson? Marie's boyfriend, to those aristocratic kitty cats?

Kero: [angrily] You just crossed the line. Nobody calls me a stuffed animal!

Changing into his true form, Kero charges at her. This makes the bandit take a few lanterns, and race upwards. She is revealing herself as Zhen, the corsac fox from Kung Fu Panda 4.

Salem: Wow! She is foxy!

Zhen: Hyah!

Zhen throws hot liquid ooze from the lanterns across the floor.

Cobalt: Not while we can- Whoa! [slips]

Sabrina tries to help, but slips too. Zhen, then steals a photograph of Jessica, and the keys to the Magic School Bus.

Zhen: Cool keys. Do you drive the Magic School Bus? And who's this looker?

Cobalt: That's my wife!

Zhen: Your wife? Aw, get real!

Cobalt catches the keys and the photo, while sliding on the floor. Sabrina tries to get up, but sees that Zhen has the jar

Zhen: Hey Spellman! Spill on this!

Sabrina: No! Not that! That's the Spookie Jar! If you break it-

Zhen: [sarcastically] I'm sorry. Why would you keep a freaky looking cookie jar with a genie? You know what? It doesn't matter. Feels kinda creepy.

Then, she throws it in the air, much to Sabrina's horror.

Sabrina: No!

Sabrina slides across the hall and catches the Spooky Jar, but she slips again, while Zhen catches it.

Sabrina: Ow.

Zhen: Now that I know there is a genie, I'll ask for three wishes. Maybe even more. While I take this double edged sword. Catch ya later kid!

Suddenly, a 44 magnum revolver fires. This makes Zhen drop the sword while the Spookie Jar is flung back into the air.

Kero: Incoming!

Sabrina: Not again!

Salem: I got it!

Very swifly, Salem slides across and catches the jar before it would break.

Salem: Got it!

Sabrina: Phew!

Zhen: Hey! What was that-

Before Zhen can get an answer, she hears a revolver hammer click, and sees Direwolf holding the gun. This makes Zhen raise her hands, as the General impersonates Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry.

Direwolf: I know what you're thinking, punk. "You're thinking if he fired six shots or only five?". Better tell you the truth, I got myself in all of this excitement. For what you see here is the .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world. That can blow your head clean off. You can ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?". Well do ya punk?!

Salem: Not for me.

But with oil on Salem's paws, the jar slips right off.

Salem: Whoops!

The Spookie Jar hits the ground, summoning the genie to come out of it. But he doesn't stay put long before seeing Direwolf.

Spookie Jar Genie: Which of you few summons me to do- [gasps] Direwolf, it's you!

Direwolf: Go ahead. Make my day.

Spookie Jar Genie: I-uh…. [friendly chuckle] I'll head back in my jar now. Good day. Heh-heh. Big fan of you.

The Spookie Jar Genie goes back in the jar, and Cobalt picks it up to hold onto it.

Zhen: Alright. Ya got me Dirty Harry.

Direwolf: If I was, you'd be dead already. How long have you been a wanted criminal?

Kero: Wait! She's a wanted criminal?!

Zhen: You sound surprised. Is it surprising?

Then, Zhen gets magical handcuffs on her when Dumbledore and Strange both enter the Great Hall.

Strange: What is all the-?!

Dumbledore: Oh my dear…. Well, I guess even in summer vacation, children always leave a mess in the dining hall.

Act Four

Later, the local police throw Zhen in a police van, while Zhen interrupts.

Zhen: Just tell me, one thing. How can someone like you be the general of this militia? And defeat Zurg?

Direwolf: Figure that one out first yourself in prison. We already captured that fox and cat from Pinocchio.

Zhen: I've heard about them. They oughta be executed at the guillotine. And this prison sounds like a daycare.

Strange: Anyway, we've found the right potion for fixing your jar, Miss Spellman. If you just follow me.

Strange walks off with Sabrina and Salem following him back inside the school. Then, Arrax comes flying over with Lucerys "Luke" Velaryon riding him, and he lands right next to the General.

Direwolf: Luke? I thought you were on vacation?

Luke: I was, but I decided not to. Anyway, I have a report from Disneyland.

Luke hands Cobalt a letter, which he reads into to notice how urgent it is.

Cobalt: It's just as I feared.

Direwolf: What?

Cobalt: King Magnifico is dead. So that would be the good news.

Direwolf: Dead? Thank God for that. WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?!

Cobalt: The bad news is… Maleficent is back. So is Jafar, Ursula, along with Hades joining in, and sixteen spies died to give us this information.

Kero: Sixteen? That means… we're down to our remaining members.

Cobalt: I know, Kero. Everytime since the break-in I've been thinking about it.

Direwolf: Either way, if we don't act now and fast… that horny witch will have our goose cooked…. Literally.

In the meantime, Plotz and Ralph are both being dragged into a dark throne room by the rhino guards.

Ralph: Duh, hey! Not so rough!

The two of them are flung ahead towards the throne.

Plotz: What's the meaning of this? I demand to know who's respon- [gasps]

Much to their shock and horror, Maleficent and Satan right before them, and Maleficent is seated on the throne.

Plotz: Maleficent!

Maleficent: Thaddeus Plotz. What a pleasure.

Plotz: Oh ho, no ma'am, the pleasure is all ours.

Satan: Her ladyship has heard of your content over the leader of the Resistance.

Plotz: [nervously] Oh! Heh, that sounds like an exaggeration, if you asked me.

Satan: You can't hide it from us, Plotz! Because we heard it from Direwolf's interview.

Ralph: Really?

Satan: Don't play dumb with me, officer!

Ralph: 'Kay. Uh, whatcha wanna play, then?

Ralph takes out a deck of cards, until Satan slaps it away with her axe-spear.

Satan: Nothing! Just listen to what we have to say.

Maleficent: The reason we brought you here is simple. Now that I'm back and taking over, the Dark Side is requiring some assistance… from you. We're broke, and we need a sponsor.

Plotz: Me? Sponsoring Disney? Why would Warner Bros. sponsor a rival?

By a snap of Maleficent's finger, dozens of wolf archers, also from Robin Hood, on the walls take aim with their arrows, and Plotz cowers with Ralph.

Plotz: [scared] But if you just need some extra cash, I can oblige!

Maleficent: That's better. With you owning an oil company, surely you wouldn't mind doing such a thing for us, offering spare change so we can pay for the damages here.

Plotz: Oh, well… I do have plans to go with some of the cash I have. Have a private army, a weekend in Hollywood.

Ralph: Ooh! Kevin Bacon has a place there!

Plotz: Oh yes! I like him.

Satan: However, we do have a small task for you two. Her ladyship wants to lead a strike force upon the Resistance.

Ralph: Duh, you wants us to leads them.

Maleficent: Not just you two… but him.

Right on cue, a figure emerges from the shadow. It is the Rhino, a supervillain from Spider-Man The Animated Series.

Rhino: Me. Just call me… the Rhino.

Plotz: Lead? But how?

Maleficent: Call it a test of faith. The Rhino and the guards will all serve under your wing, but only for twenty-four hours. So if I were you, I'd begin right away.

Rhino: You heard her. Let's go.

The Rhino takes his leave with Plotz and Ralph, leaving Maleficent and Satan alone, until the other three Disney villains come walking in.

Jafar: He took the bait.

Ursula: Yes, just what we need to hear of.

Maleficent: This is going to show us how long they'll live. If they don't make it, we'll still get sponsored because Mr. Plotz verified it before us.

Hades: But you're forgetting something, little miss dark and deadly. The Resistance are smart enough to take us on like a plague.

Maleficent: You're right. Satan, you should follow them.

Satan: Me? I may be the demon lord of wrath, but facing mere mortals is an dishonorable fray.

Hades: There's nothing mere about those mortals.

Jafar: He's right. But your target will be their Disney expert: Cobalt. Without him, the General will be unaware about how to defeat the henchmen that we now have a way to bring back, thanks to our new Double-R Device.

Satan: [beat] Very well. I shall go.

Act Five

Back in Universal in the briefing room, Davos, Hound, Gendry, Greenie and Maple sit around the table facing a big screen which Proto stands in front of.]

Proto: As our new recruits, we'd like your opinion on our commercial. We took the liberty to have it air during the Super Bowl.

Greenie: Wow!

Proto: And it was super expensive to do it.

He dials the machine, presses the play button and the commercial appears on the screen. Two soldiers duck behind a small bump.

Announcer: International strike forces; what a headache!

Soldier 1: I got pinned! We need assistance!

Soldier 2: Man it's no use, everybody's camping!

Then, a third soldier jumps up, firing his assault rifle.

Soldier 3: TAKE THIS YOU COCK SUCKING [bleep]! YOU [bleep] DICKLETS! YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY THIS [bleep] GAME! HEY, SUCK MY DICK! IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? HELLO? MOM, WHERE'S MY ENERGY DRINK? I DON'T WANT THAT SHIT! CHOCOLATE MILK IS FOR PUSSIES, MOM!

Soldier 1: [to the camera] We should've called the Resistance.

Announcer: When no one else is brave or foolhardy enough to go deal with extreme measures, trust the Resistance for reliable, on time executions for all missions, involving Disney affairs.

As the announcer speaks the Magic School Bus in rocket mode streaks across the screen being chased by vulture droids shooting lasers at it. A man runs across an ice world with a parcel while at the same time being bombed. He delivers the parcel and is snatched by a dragon. In an office, Cobalt lifts up a parcel to an African king.

Cobalt: Here's your package, sire. And inside, a void of food for your entire country to feed in half a decade.

African king: Good work, Cobalt! The spirit of Mufasa flows with you.

Announcer: We're the USA's best hope: the Resistance. We never march alone.

After that, the commercial ends and the screen shuts off.

Maple: Cool.

Davos: Well, I do have a question. Are we all going to die at once?

Proto: Negative. Because we're all in this together. The announcer says we never march alone, because that's our motto.

Gendry: What's a motto?

Greenie: Nothing. What's a motto with you? [laughs] Anyway, a motto is a phrase that expresses belief or purpose. Take House Lannister for example. Its words are "Hear me roar", and that's a motto.

Hound: It's true. But not just the Lannisters, all the Great Houses and vassals have mottos, along with their coat of arms.

Proto: All correct. Anyway, for today, we're going to test out your stats and skills in our new training course. But before you do, each of you has a set of papers to test out your intellect, which was recently commissioned by the Crossover Resource Committee. In the pages you'll have educational pages about mathematics, history, chemistry, natural science, English, Latin and French. So now you got it, I'll come back to you in one hour.

The recruits scribble away at the written test. It's a thick document; reasoning skills, general knowledge, diagrams. The recruits seem to be really powering through it, filling in answer after answer. Gendry is really struggling; he writes two words on one answer, then decides to erase it, until his pencil tears through the page.

Gendry: [whispers] Shit.

Maple: [worried] Aw man, this math test looks so hard.

Davos: Uh…. "Abraham… Lincolin"?

Greenie: Psst. It's pronounced "Lincoln". The second L is silent.

Davos: Oh, I see.

Hound is looking at the page about evolution, about how humans evolved from primates like apes and monkeys. But he looks at a primate's hand and one of his own, seeing a resemblance when he raises his eyebrow up.

After an hour, the tests are completed, and Proto opens the door to the training hall, where Arc is swinging his sword around at dozens of moving dummies that resemble Captain Hook and his crew. By hearing a ticking sound, he whips around to see a replica of the ticking crocodile pouncing up from the water, but Arc bashes it with his shield. Then, the timer on the ceiling goes off, meaning the training is over, and he walks away with Ponta to greet the newcomers.

Maple: [amazed] Wow! You were incredible back there!

Arc: Oh, uh… thank you. I like to think so too.

Hound: You're a… big fellow. Almost bigger than my brother. But… who are you?

Arc: I am Arc, a traveling mercenary. And this is my companion, Ponta.

Ponta: Cue, cue.

Hound: [disbelief] You, a mercenary? You look like someone who can challenge the Kingsguard.

Gendry: Fascinating armor, Ser Arc. What kind of metal is it made of?

Arc: Uh…. Celestial steel?

Proto: Focus, people. Questions later. Now listen, this is where we will test what you're made of. In exactly 5 minutes, you will journey through this field, pass all the dummies, defeat an animatronic and get that trophy at the end before the time is up.

Maple: Five minutes? Um… I hate to bring this up, but… I'm slow.

Davos: Well, I haven't ran for such a long time.

Greenie: No worries. I can do it.

Gendry: But I want to ask. What's a plumber?

Greenie: Easy. A plumber is someone who checks on the toilet, cleans it and unclogs it if there's a problem with the flushing. But I also fix the pipes.

Hound: Wait, you… fix poop decks?

Greenie: It's not as easy as you think, but-

Then, Hound pushes Greenie over to a treadmill floor, where he runs all over to stay on a straight line. He loses his footing, and slips right off into the moving dummies that swung their swords. Greenie dodges as much as he can, until one dummy looking like Smee kicks his nuts, making him fall down into the water. All of a sudden, the crocodile animatronic snaps its jaws at Greenie, who struggles to break free.

Just after avoiding the entire obstacle, the bruised and cut Greenie limbs over to grab the trophy from a table, and limbs back to Proto, who stares at him silently.

Greenie: Three minutes and 16 seconds. That beats a record.

Proto: The challenge was to get it done… without getting hurt. [glares at Hound]

Hound: Anyone who cleans a craphole is no warrior.

[phone rings]

Proto: [answers] Hello? General, what is it? [beat] Yeah, I'll be there. Greenie, head over to the doctor's office.

Act Six

Greenie walks alone to the doctor's office, where Zoidberg is sitting in his chair with his feet on the desk. Behind him is a chart of a human's internal organs pinned to the wall upside down.

Greenie: Dr. Zoidberg, I'm Greenie. I, uh… need a checkup.

Zoidberg: Excellent, excellent! Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain.

Greenie: [unsure] I don't know, maybe I should-

Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say….

He makes a weird noise. Greenie clears his throat and tries to imitate him but fails.

Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! Get out!

Meanwhile at the prison, Rocket, Groot, Saber, Cobalt, Proto and Direwolf are at Zhen's jail cell as a deal is made by the General himself.

Direwolf: So I guess you know something, don't you?

Zhen: Maybe I do. Maybe I don't.

Cobalt: C'mon fox. We need the truth. General, what do you think?

Direwolf: [pauses] For some reason, I think I'm starting to like this foxy character.

Zhen: And you, mister, are good looking. Has anyone ever tell you that?

Groot: I am Groot.

Zhen: [peeved] Hate to bother you tree plant man, but can you really speak English? Instead of saying 'I Am Groot', a lot?

Rocket: He don't talk much. Those are the words he only knows. I'm the only one who can understand his language.

Zhen: I'm sorry. When did you bring in a raccoon? Does he have rabies or something?

Direwolf: [chuckles] Alright, we get it. Would you two, wait outside for a few minutes? We will deal with this.

Groot: I am Groot.

Just after Groot said whatever it was, he and Rocket left the prison.

Direwolf: Now, where were we?

Zhen: [quietly] It was Magnifico who resurrected those antagonists that you know. You see, I spied on him without being noticed. And while Hades is with them, Maleficent, Jafar, and Ursula are back for revenge. Against you, and the entire Resistance.

Saber: So it's true. It's that wishing king this whole time.

Cobalt: We already got the message. The villains killed Magnifico before he would give them an option, but what worries me is that Hades brought forth a

Proto: What can we do?

Cobalt: I'm sure we can handle them, and that Magnifico too. General, what do you say? General?

But Direwolf has an idea, and he brings his face closer to her.

Direwolf: Zhen, I'm really starting to rely on you, as you do on me. But I'll tell you what. You help us deal with this, and I'll see what I can do about reducing your sentence. Shake on it?

Zhen: Deal.

They are about to do a handshake when Rocket interrupts.

Rocket: What a minute! Don't do it! You want her on the team?! Uh-uh! No way! I don't like this foxy girl!

Zhen: General DW and I already made it. Mind your own business, will ya? And for starters, you shouldn't have a tree monster as your buddy.

Cobalt: Alright we get it! And please. Call him Direwolf.

Zhen: DW is short for Direwolf. Not Dragon Warrior. Or Doofus Wuss.

Cobalt: But it sounds like you're calling him Arthur's little sister: DW, or Dora Winifred.

Direwolf: So, we're doing this… under one condition. No stealing. Understood?

Zhen: Yep. You got a deal.

Direwolf and Zhen do a handshake together, then the guards open the cell door to release her.

Zhen: Ah! So good to be a free fox again! Thanks for the stay!

Cobalt: [to Groot] He's really going for her. But I guess it's cool to have one new team member.

Groot: I am Groot.

Zhen: Your buddy still needs to speak real English!

Cobalt: However, you broke into Hogwarts today. Dumbledore doesn't want anyone to get away with that, so you must be punished… tonight.

Proto: Looks like I got here in time, then. Because I need to teach all of the newcomers to know how to be in a team. So what's the punishment?

Cobalt: The same thing for all Hogwarts students: detention.

Later at night, the new recruits, including Zhen, are led to Shrek's hut by Mr. Filch.

Filch: A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming.

Zhen: Brutal, man.

Filch: You'll be serving detention with Shrek tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the jungle.

Shrek appears with a crossbow and Donkey at his side.

Davos: That's who we're going with?

Shrek: Aye. Shrek, and this is Donkey.

Donkey: Yup that's me. The noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Hound: This world just gets odder and odder every minute. What else is new?

Filch: Oh, for God's sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the jungle, after all. Got to have your wits about you.

Draco: The jungle? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there. I read it in a book that no one's allowed in there. And there are… werewolves!

Filch: There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. Nighty-night.

He leaves to go back into the castle, as Shrek and Donkey are ready to go.

Davos: I don't know if we should go in there. There's no telling what sort of monsters we may run into.

Shrek: Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest.

The team follows Shrek into the jungle, but Maple is the only one walking so slowly, but Donkey carries her up to let her ride him.

In the jungle, the group walks along a path to investigate, and something in the shadows lurks in the trees, stalking them.

Donkey: Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?

Maple: You just tell her she's not your true love. Well, I'm not in a romantic relationship with anybody. Not even in my world.

Shrek stops, bends down and picks up a large tooth. He checks on it, and sniffs it.

Zhen: Hey big guy, what's that?

Hagrid: The reason why we're here. A T-Rex tooth. But it's just a baby. We've had reports about a T-Rex family looking for their infant.

Davos: A T-Rex?

Greenie: That's an easy one. Everyone here knows what a T-Rex is. It's short for the full name "Tyrannosaurus Rex", meaning "tyrant lizard king". Imagine a two-legged reptile as big as a house with a head big enough to crush a chariot.

Hound: That's damn big. But… we've seen a bigger monster than that. Drogon was one of them.

Maple suddenly sees a large creature walking through the trees, before she looks at Shrek.

Shrek: So, it's our job to find the baby and take him back to his parents. Gendry and the fox will come with me.

Gendry: Okay.

Hagrid: And since Greenie knows what a T-Rex is, you'll go with the other men.

Greenie: Roger that.

Maple: I'll go with Donkey.

Shrek: Alright. But to warn you, he can be a coward sometimes.

Donkey: Not cool, Shrek. I handled the dragon while you were rescuing the princess. [walks off] But we'll take the right. There's a watering hole not too far from a T-Rex nest, that's right.

With Maple still riding him, Donkey proceeds through the rainforest in search of the baby T-Rex, and Syrup is in Maple's arms.

Maple: This place is so spooky, it's enough to make Sally flee in fear. Are you sure you know where you're going?

Donkey: Sure I do. It's not the first time I came here. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the jungle. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it.

Just before Donkey can leave, he sniffs something and looks up. Sure enough, it's Sabor the leopard from Tarzan.

Donkey: LEOPARD!

Maple jumps off, grabs Donkey with ease and gets out of the way, holding him as Sabor pounces down to attack. She does her best to keep themselves from being harmed by her. Sabor tackles her, which results in a tree breaking. The three fall down a cliff; Donkey ends up on a tree branch, but Maple lands on a tent with the leopard. Maple tries to escape while Sabor keeps a hold on her. She tries to slash her, only to get the tent instead.

Soon Sabor pins Maple to the wood while she holds her enemy by her neck. With a smirk, Sabor slashes her face, forcing her to let Syrup go, causing him to fall to the net below. Sabor sees the turtle and goes after him, while Maple checks up on herself.

Maple: No damages. Syrup?

Maple gets up and looks for Syrup while he keeps rolling with Sabor getting closer. She looks down and sees the turtle standing up to her.

Maple: Hang on, I'll get you.

She reaches down for Syrup while Sabor tries to get him before she does so. Maple nearly reaches him, but she slips down a big hole into the net. She gasps as the leopard jumps towards her, but with her arm covering for herself, she gets multiple bites on her and gets no scratches or feels anything.

Maple: [giggles] That tickles.

As Sabor gets fed up, the net is cut loose, almost making her fall to her doom as Maple picks up Syrup.

Maple: Cover Move!

Maple magically teleports herself back up the deck, safe and sound. But then, she turns around and sees Sabor breaking through. It seems like the two are trapped, until Maple gets an idea.

Maple: Syrup, use megamorph.

Once Sabor gets through, she growls as she runs after the girl, but Syrup grows to gigantic size and grabs the leopard with his mouth. Then Syrup flings her away into the air, winning the fight.

Maple: I guess even in this world, I can have vitality. And you were good out there, Syrup.

Syrup: Turtle.

Then, she hears a wailing coming from nearby. It is a baby T-Rex, snagged to a trap.

Maple: There's the baby.

Running toward the baby T-Rex, Maple bends down, touching the animal and looking at it closely. She gets up and walks around the baby. She grabs one of the pins that is holding it down, and slowly pulls it out of the ground.

Act Seven

Back with the others, they meet up back to each other near a river.

Zhen: Well, it looks like we've found nothing around here.

Davos: Neither did we. But we haven't found a baby of any type.

Hound: I'm starting to regret the moment I pushed the plumber. This is a waste of time.

Greenie: Now that's karma to you. Maybe it doesn't exist where you come from, but karma is nothing to be taken as a joke.

Hound: A joke. Hardly anyone laughs at anything humorous.

All of a sudden, they hear a sound from the river before they look to their right to see Maple on Donkey, carrying the baby T-Rex.

Maple: I found him. He was caught in a poacher's trap.

Donkey: Yeah, but watch it there, Shrek. He's a real biter.

Shrek: Then it looks like your job is done here.

Walking over, Shrek picks up the baby T-Rex to hold onto it.

Shrek: I'll take him back to his parents. You all just walk down the path, and you'll be out in ten minutes. You coming, Donkey?

Donkey: Oh, yep! I'm right behind ya.

Shrek and Donkey both walk off, leaving the others behind.

Zhen: He's just gonna leave us here to walk alone?

Maple: We don't have to walk.

Later, everyone is on top of the enlarged Syrup, who is floating over the canopy to go somewhere else.

Hound: [horrified] This is a lot of bullshit tonight!

Davos: So many surprises in one day. I didn't know your turtle could fly or change size.

Maple: It's called megamorph, and that's one of the skills he's got. And he's not flying, I'm using my own skill called psyhokenesis.

Greenie: This is everything I hoped for from the Resistance.

Zhen: Yeah? Well, I prefer it when the action really begins.

Meanwhile, Cobalt and the others are all in Moe's Tavern, drinking at the booth.

Cobalt: I just got a call from Shrek. He says the new recruits are starting to get along fine so far.

Proto: I've looked up on Maple's anime like you requested, Cobalt. Apparently, she is maxed out on defense like she said, and, uh… she's just full of surprises to everyone around her. But I like to see her use Stormbreaker with her shield.

Saber: Who?

Proto: Stormbreaker, Thor's axe-hammer hybrid. The one the General has.

Direwolf: [concerned] Yeah, about that. I, uh… don't have it anymore.

Cobalt: What do you mean you don't have it?

Direwolf: I, uh…. I gave it up.

Cobalt: WHAT?! You had the mostly godly weapon ever, and you gave it up?!

Direwolf: I was short on cash back then.

Then, Moe walks over with two mugs of root beer, handing them to the group.

Moe: Yeah, he was, but he still is. I told him, no more Cheetos until he pay his tab. He still owes me from last week.

Proto: We get it, Moe. The Resistance is losing its thunder for almost a year now, and we're struggling. But… one of us is now into the Cheetos sweepstakes contest.

Moe: [beat] Come again?

Direwolf: Inside one of those bags of cheesy goodness is a golden ticket that'll change everything! It was announced in the weekend, and I intend to win it in hopes to… regain our popularity.

Moe: Well, that makes a difference. If you work here for me, that would be easier to pay off and earn more Cheetos. So, whadaya boys know how to do?

Saber: Well, Afterburn is pretty good at lawn darts. Nuke can play ping-pong like nobody's business. Croquet is Telegram's spe-ci-al-ity.

[five second silence]

After that, Moe takes his leave back to the bar, wiping it with a cloth, clearly rejecting them. Saber walks to the bathroom; the phone rings and Moe answers it.

Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking.

Saber: [through speakers] Is Miss Booboo there?

Moe: Miss who?

Saber: Miss Booboo. First name, Igota.

Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is Igota Booboo here? Hey everybody, Igota Booboo!

Barney: Then your mommy should kiss it for you.

Everyone: [laughing]

Moe: Why you little bastard! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll string you up by your neck and chop your head with a chainsaw!

Soon enough, the trio are outside the tavern and headed into an alleyway for a private chat.

Direwolf: [laughs] That always crack me up. But… Proto's right. We're not as secured as we were back then.

Cobalt: But some things might turn up, sir. The Crossover Resource Committee is going to hear about this, and they'll have to-

Proto: They already have. Look at this.

Proto takes out his iPhone and shows Cobalt the news app with the headline "False Claims from Disneyland".

Sirius: Word has gone out since July 20. The CRC Chairman is using all his power, including his influence at the Daily Bugle, to smear anyone who claims the Dark Side has returned.

Direwolf: Why?

Proto: Because he thinks we're after his job.

Direwolf: Bullshit, we would. We're a paramilitary branch, not a government agency.

Proto: Sir, they don't care if we're an agency, they care about the United States being stabilized. All the members have been registered as deceased. Talking about the living dead would spread mass mayhem and panic on a global scale.

Cobalt: Which is the whole point. Because Maleficent is back, no thanks to one of the toons, and she's plotting revenge just like in her movie.

Direwolf: Guys, listen to me. It was the three of us that achieved the impossible since Canada's evacuation. We fulfilled the prophecy, and if there's another one, we can make sure it's fulfilled.

Proto: But if there is, then we have 9/11 all over again.

Cobalt: We can't overthink her. If she has a plan, she would've performed it by now, but she hadn't, then there's no plan in mind.

Proto: That's why we need to have evidence that she's back. The moment we see her, we'll either snap a picture of her or a video of her, talking and moving the way everyone knows. When that's done, then both the Defense Department and the CRC will instruct us to keep fighting.

Direwolf: [beat] That's a good plan, Proto. Really good plan. So at dawn, I'm instructing Telegram to seek out the Dark Side and we'll catch 'em there.

The trio are being watched by Maleficent via hologram on the stone table, and she grows a smirk on her face.

Maleficent: Being prepared, are we? I like that spirit. It's almost like a fiery passion, which brings the dragon out of me. But trust me, my new plan will be the pinnacle of your precious militia's undoing.

Act Eight

The next morning, the sun rises and everyone is sound asleep, until the bugler plays Reveille through speakers, sounding up all of Universal Studios. In the men's bunk room, Greenie and the other new recruits wake up all of a sudden, and Taser marches inside.

Taser: Morning, newbies! I'm Sergeant Taser, your senior drill instructor! By the Colonel's orders, you will follow my lead until further notice! We've got a full day ahead of us! We're gonna start off with a five mile hike!

Zhen: [yawns] Five miles of hiking? Maybe what we should do first is a quick sip of coffee and then we do this basic training.

Taser: Coffee, eh? You want coffee? Let's make it ten miles. Now get dressed and march outside! [walks off]

Gendry: [glaring] Thanks a lot, fox.

Davos is getting dressed, until he sees a giant ball of wool near the bunks.

Davos: Um…. Maple? Are you…?

Maple: [through ball] Yeah, I'm here. I didn't want to make a scene, so I used Wooly to make a bed. But can you slash it with your sword quickly?

Davos: Of course. Just stay clear.

Davos grabs his sword and slashes the wool-ball, disintegrating it and it helps Maple to land safely on the ground.

Maple: Thanks. Now I'm ready.

Greenie puts on his Luigi outfit, and he is the first to walk outside with the others following him, along with Bayonet, Ranger and Dual. Now together, training begins with everyone tiptoeing through tires. Next is them crawling through a small space under a layer of rope. After that, everyone is moving along a rope by using their hands above barbed wire. Everyone is then getting their own AK-47s, except for Maple, who gets a Rubik's Cube. Everyone shoots at dummies that are set up, mostly missing and hitting the wall. Someone throws their boot at the dummy and another throws a grenade, causing the dummy to explode.

In the meantime in Saber's apartment, Ashley wakes up from bed and she walks out of her room to find Kero in the kitchen.

Kero: Morning, Ashley. Saber's already gone, but he's made you breakfast.

Ashley: He already left? I thought he would tell me before he would-

Kero: Yeah, he would. But he's got somewhere to be right now. Or… so he said.

Meanwhile, Cobalt is in Savi's Workshop at Galaxy's Edge, making his own custom lightsaber. He reads the instruction manual on a computer screen, sets the customization to the emmiter, and it is given two bladed cross guards in a V-shape. Done, he picks up the lightsaber and activates its green color, admiring it.

Cobalt: Damn, I'm getting good at this.

Direwolf approaches Cobalt by placing a hand on his shoulder.

Direwolf: Hey, great news. We've got a new guy with us.

In the armory, Cobalt and Direwolf both walk across all the parked tanks and vehicles, talking to their new recruit: James Wetherby, who approaches a custom-made M510 Mammoth with two Jurassic Park T-Rex tattoos on each side.

James: I'm James Wetherby; everyone calls me Grinder. I drive all the Halo trucks, and this here is my custom-made Mammoth.

Cobalt: We already have one or two M510 Mammoths. What's so special about this one?

Grinder: She's been retrofitted to withstand plasma energy, whether projected or used for melees. Retractable guided-missiles, a radar-jamming frequency within the system, and she can drive up to 86 miles per hour. She also has some of the details that regular Mammoths have, all custom-made.

Direwolf: With this bad boy, we should be able to drive from here to Vanaheim whenever she should sneak our way into Disneyland, without the need of thinking about your bus.

Cobalt: I know what you mean, sir. But I still think the bus can handle it. Or… at least, most of the time.

Direwolf: But in any case, we saw Saber heading outside the perimeter.

Cobalt: He- what?

Outside of town and in the open ocean, Saber is on a rowboat with Bender, rowing together.

Saber: Keep at it. It's getting early.

Bender: I don't know if we should do this. I mean, with Disney being back in action for ass-kicking, we should be with the newbies.

Saber: That's what Cobalt's been telling me, but with Hades opening an anime we've never heard of, it was up to Lt. Rowdy to look that up, and she's been reported dead all of a sudden.

Bender: Well, look, if she's dead on a boat, then it was sharks.

Saber: I'm still going to find that out, Bender. That's my job as a scout to investigate the perimeter.

Bender: Suit yourself.

Bender takes a break from rowing and sips from a beer bottle. But then, the boat is bummed onto something from below.

Bender: Hey, we hit something.

Saber overlooks the port side, seeing the boat hit the top of a sail mast sticking out from the water. He peers down through the water to see a ruined boat.

Saber: That's gotta be it. Bender, watch the boat. I'm going down there.

Putting on his scuba gear, Saber takes a dive into the water, floating downward to the seabed where he finds the boat there. He swims ahead towards the boat to investigate it, and as he checks on it closer, he sees a few large, punctured marks all over it, meaning it was attacked.

Saber: This was attacked.

Suddenly, a skeleton appears in front of him, and it startles him. But he realizes that it's not alive; he swims closer to find a dog tag around its neck, and he looks into it to find the name "Brent, Olivia" on it.

Saber: It's Rowdy.

All of a sudden, the seabed rumbles all over the place, beckoning Saber to move away from the ruined boat, and he is seeing Godzilla swimming over with a whale carcass. Saber emerges from the water, and he looks ahead with Bender to see Godzilla rising up and eating his dead whale.

Bender: Looks like we know what attacked, right?

Saber: Not likely. He's big and all, but he wouldn't attack a boat the size of a fly to him. It was really Rowdy; attacked by someone else.

Then, Drogon swoops in and swipes a piece of whale from Godzilla, landing on an islet to eat from it. But Godzilla acts offended and territorial; he lets go of the carcass and growls at the dragon, who growls back at him, ready for a fight.

Saber: Godzilla stop!

Too late, as Godzilla slashes his claws, but Drogon escapes into the air before breathing fire at him. He breathes his atomic breath, and the two of them start fighting, splashing around and making massive waves. Bender helps Saber back onboard the boat, holding onto it for their lives, then the boat flips over.

Bender: Not what I call a good morning.

Bender extends his arms around, tilting the boat back up right with Saber's help. But the two animals are still fighting each other, until Godzilla grabs Drogon and flings him down into the water. As Drogon floats on the water, Godzilla is about to finish him off, before Saber blows a horn to grab his attention.

Saber: NO! Godzilla, back off!

[Godzilla moans]

Saber: Go back. Just… leave him.

Now no longer interested in Drogon, Godzilla takes the whale carcass back and swims away to eat it somewhere else.

[horn blows]

That sound comes from the Magic School Bus, which is in a steamboat form, driven by Cobalt and he glares down at Saber.

Cobalt: Get your ass onboard right now!

Bender uses his extending arms to hoist himself and the boat up, getting onboard, and Saber walks over to Cobalt.

Saber: Listen, I just had to-

Cobalt: You went AWOL. You know that's against our protocols. You're just lucky that I was notified first. Otherwise the military police would and they would arrest you for this.

Saber: I wanted to tell you, but I just-

Cobalt: Silence in the ranks. We're going back to Universal and we'll talk about this at lunch break.

Cobalt turns back onto the wheel, and stirs the steamboat-bus around back to shore, while Saber is looking crestfallen for not being listened to.

Bender: Told you this would happen.

Act Nine

Back in Universal, Bayonet, Ranger and Gendry are in a helicopter together.

Bayonet: [to Gendry] A little shocked?

Gendry: Are you kidding? This feels like I'm in a carriage, made of metal. The steel looks fine and all, but… it flies? It would take a miracle to do that.

Ranger: But we don't know how to fly a helicopter!

Bayonet: Oh, it's easy. We just grab the controls and go- [singing] BUM BA DA BUM BUM BUM BA DA BUM BUM BA DA BUM BUM BA DA BUM!

Bayonet flies the helicopter upwards as he continues to sing. But Gendry looks ahead through the windshield, and he sees some dust storm raging across outside the theme park.

Gendry: There's something over there.

Ranger: Probably a dust storm.

Bayonet: Ranger, we don't get dust storms in Florida.

In the General's office, Saber sits down on a chair, talking to Cobalt and Direwolf about his discovery.

Saber: I'm telling you, I saw Rowdy's skeleton on the seabed. She must've been attacked by Hades because he knows she was an expert of anime that even the General doesn't know.

Direwolf: Then let's see the dog tag

Saber: Dog tags?

Direwolf: When you find a dead soldier, you bring back the dog tags. You have Rowdy's tags, don't you?

Saber: Uh…. Well, I would, but I was avoiding….

Cobalt: Listen, Saber, whatever Rowdy died of or whoever killed her is up to the rest of us to find out.

Saber: But I-

Direwolf: You heard the Colonel, Corporal. You've found the body, and we'll look into it. Dismissed.

Displeased, Saber takes his leave out of the office to go somewhere else.

Cobalt: Sir, if Lt. Rowdy was attacked, it could be the reason why she's not answering her phone.

Direwolf: It'll be taken care of, Cobalt.

[intercom beeps]

Direwolf: [answers] Report!

Zed: [through speakers] Proximity alert, General. We got multiple bogeys inbound heading this way.

Direwolf: Copy that. [to Cobalt] It's time!

All over Universal, klaxon alarms blare everywhere to grab everyone's attention, and Robert Landon "Telegram" makes the announcement through P.A. speakers.

Telegram: Attention all personnel. We've got the Dark Side of Disney on the march, heading towards us. All civilians please go inside the barrier and indoors immediately. All available units nearby the main gate, please convert and meet up with Colonel Cobalt.

The new recruits at the barracks are all stunned by the alarm, but know it is trouble.

Maple: An alarm? We're in trouble already!

Davos: Okay, no reason to panic. We'll just go to safety and-

Hound: Are you kidding? We're here to fight. Whenever there's a fight, we're going in.

Zhen: Yeah, I'll go with tall and burny here. I didn't come all the way here just to hide. And besides, Po's making me the new Dragon Warrior soon.

Greenie: Then we'll just go rogue for a bit. Intercept the battlefield, and when the enemy comes, we fight 'em off.

Hound: But can you do it?

Greenie: I've got a bone to pick with someone who cheated me. I wanna get even with that bastard if I can.

Turning back, Gendry walks over to his bunk and takes out his signature warhammer, which he used in the Battle of Winterfell back in Westeros.

Gendry: Then let's get ready for our first fight.

At the main gate, Cobalt comes over wearing his War Machine suit with Proto, loading up a bazooka, at his side. When they get there, they see Gordon Lang "Nuke", Rocket, Groot and the Terminator waiting for them.

Proto: What's the stats on the people?

Nuke: Baymax and the Turtles have the civilians go inside their homes. They're meet us when they're done.

Terminator: There are coming.

Cobalt: Then let's give 'em hell. Open the gate!

By his command, the main gates open, allowing the team to march straight out before it closes. Much to their surprise, the rhino guards come charging ahead with their halberds pointing ahead. The team fire their weapons, killing a dozen of the rhino guards, but the Rhino himself rams into them from the side.

Rhino: Hehehe. Had a nice trip?

Proto: [stunned] Holy shit! That's the Rhino, from Spider-Man!

Nuke: I thought he died thirteen years ago!

Then, Plotz arrives with Ralph at his side, and he activates his own lightsaber, but the red-plasma blade is shaped like a hammer. Cobalt activates his own, ready to fight.

Plotz: Small world. It's about time we settle things. I said it before, the Resistance is a bunch of jokes, now it's become a washed-out creed.

Cobalt: Only when we want it to, Plotz.

The two engage in a lightsaber duel, as the others take heavy fire by the rhino guards throwing their halberds at them. However, the enlarged Syrup hovers overhead and Greenie jumps over to land right on top of Plotz, squishing him down to size.

Greenie: Now that's more like it!

Ralph: Hey! It's you!

Ralph grabs himself a halberd, and chases after Greenie who runs away.

Maple: Let's not let Greenie have all the fun. Jump!

Everyone jumps off of Syrup, landing on solid ground, and the rhino guards make their attacks. Hound fights a few of the rhinos and manages to poke one of them in the ribs with his sword, causing him to groan.

Rhino: You gotta be kidding me. A little girl wanting to fight.

Maple: Just call me the walking fortress, horny. Because that's what I am.

Rhino: HA! Let's get it over with. I gotta polish my horn.

The Rhino makes a charge, but Maple stands still and hits her on the armor, making him bounce right off.

Greenie is still running from Ralph, but he easily outwits the incompetent cop by stopping in his tracks, and causes him to stab Plotz with the halberd.

Plotz: Ralphanzo T. Guard, you idiot with your slow-wit and stupid persona for over thirty years! [pauses] Well, let me give you the point.

Ralph: I hates points.

Ralph turns around before Plotz stabs him with the halberd, and he jumps into the air, in obvious pain.

Plotz: Now get that plumber!

Ralph: Duh, okay, Mr. Plotz.

Greenie then jabs a rhino guard in the buttocks with a knife, causing him to scream in pain and run off. Another is about to strike him, but Greenie jumps out of the way before Nuke fires a rocket launcher at him. Gendry swings his warhammer, easily beating up the rhinos with Davos and Proto at his side.

Gendry: These rhinos are tougher than the Lannisters. Don't you think so?

Proto: Watch this, Gendry. Don't try this at home.

Proto holds onto his bazooka with his cyborg feet; he triggers it, launching himself into the air, and after he reloads it in mid-air, he fires again to kill off more rhino guards.

Davos: [awed] By the gods!

As for Zhen, the rhino guards try to tackle her as if they were playing football, but she manages to defeat them all and escape. A particular rhino guard almost catches Zhen while she was in midair, but misses and slides until he crashes headfirst into a rock.

Act Act

Cobalt is in the air to open fire at more rhino guards, until he is knocked away into an old building. He recovers, finding himself face to face with Satan hovering in front of him.

Satan: Let's see how tough you are… Colonel.

With her axe-spear, Satan engages Cobalt in a fierce battle in mid-air. Cobalt fires all missiles and bullets at her, but the demon-lord parries them all and pushes him back into the building until it crumbles.

Satan: Just as she said you would be. [flies off]

Back on solid ground, Hound is slashing his sword at the rhinos retreating into a tent, and Greenie comes in with Ralph chasing him. As soon as Hound and Greenie snuck out, Hound pokes his sword at a rhino's rear end, causing the tent to run at full speed with Ralph poking his head up top.

Ralph: Duh, hey! Who's driving this flying umbrella?

For Maple, she grabs Rhino with one hand, and throws him aside.

Rhino: What's goin' on? How are you so strong? This ain't possible!

Maple: It is, to me. Syrup, Spirit Cannon!

Syrup hears it; he opens his mouth and unleashes a long-range beam that strikes the Rhino, until he falls down covered in bruises and ashes. After that, all the rhino guards flee from the scene with Plotz calling to them.

Plotz: Where're you going?! You're all rhinos!

Then, Ralph is flung into the air, landing on top of Plotz, and when Groot towers over them, they both slowly raise their hands up to surrender. Cobalt walks over to the scene, and he peers down at the Rhino.

Rhino: Alright, I give up. I'd rather to go to jail than be a snitch.

Cobalt: That can be arranged.

The main gate opens, and a dozen MIB agents come rushing in to encircle the battleground, getting all the teammates in and putting shackles on the prisoners. Direwolf and Saber both arrive at the scene, shocked to see Plotz and Ralph with the Rhino.

Direwolf: Please tell me there weren't any acquisitions made.

Proto: None, sir. We clarified it just before the fight.

For Cobalt, he approaches the new recruits who stand side by side in front of him.

Cobalt: None of you were anywhere near the main gate, and you all came here with your own free will?

Davos: Yes, sir. I understand this was not what you ordered, but we did it because we felt like it. We lost too many back in Winterfell, and we….

Gendry: We wanted to make sure that we would win this round, just in case things might… get out of hand.

Maple: But it was all good. You needed to see what I can do so far, and you did.

Cobalt: And at the same time, you went AWOL. Absent without leaving. That is enough for me to put you all into the stockade. [beat] But… we were all taking heavy fire before you came along. I'd say… that's worth recognition, and a reward. On behalf of the General, I welcome you all to the Resistance.

Everyone cheers for their success, until….

Greenie: AHHH!

Greenie clutches his right side, falling down, but Hound grabs him. He removes his hand slightly to show the blood on his hand.

Hound: Colonel! Greenie's injured, get help!

K: We heard you. Our medics are on their way.

As Greenie moans, Hound helps him stand on the ground, and he looks at him with more respect.

Hound: Hang in there, lad. A brave young man like you shouldn't give up when you just started.

Greenie: Is that… respect from you, Sandor?

Hound: I'm allowed, aren't I?

But then, a gust of wind blows across the battlegrounds. Lightning and thunder roar as everyone watches with horrified amazement, but most of the team know what it means. Maleficent appears in a ball of fire, standing in front of her enemies.

Cobalt: Maleficent!

Direwolf: I knew she would be here!

Maleficent: Well, you haven't changed much, General. Still siding with toons and li-acs, even petting zoo rejects.

Offended, Zhen angrily starts to run towards Maleficent, but is held back by Groot.

Maleficent: I really felt that you would face off some old foes that you're familiar with.

Proto: No matter what you throw at us, we'll always fight back. That's why we're called the Resistance.

Maleficent: Maybe so, but I do… have an ultimatum. Listen well, all of you!

She taps her staff on the floor with a short crack.

Maleficent: On the 30th of August, when the moon is full… I will unleash the Firebird. America will be burned to the ground, and all of you with it. Unless you surrender the modified clone of Walt Disney himself to us.

Saber: [quietly; to himself] Ashley.

Maleficent: Only her blood will sate the Firebird and me, who you have so offended. Choose your penance. Destruction or sacrifice. And this time, you will never have a chance to win this fight. [laughing inappropriately]

Direwolf: [to the agents] Take aim and fire at that black bitch!

Maleficent: Stand back, you fools!

The agents watch in shock and fear, as Maleficent disappears in a flash of lightning, laughing, as Plotz and Ralph vanish as well. Because of the ultimatum, Cobalt, Proto, Direwolf and Saber are all concerned about this.

Davos: Don't despair. It's July 23rd. There's plenty of time to strategize.

Gendry: He's right. Whatever it is, we're all in this together.

The new recruits all walk back inside the theme park through the main gate, while the other four stay put to look at the spot where Maleficent disappeared from.

Saber: The Firebird. Is it…. Is it what I think it is?

Cobalt: It is. The same one from Fantasia 2000.

Direwolf: I remember that. A monster without conscience or mercy. In that thing dares to be free upon us all, God help us.

The End