Throne of Glass

Part Two: To Wage a War

Chapter 39: Upon a Lie

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His hands were shaking uncontrollably. He could hardly fly straight as he clenched his teeth, his jaw tight.

It couldn't be true. He wanted to believe it. He had to believe it.

But he couldn't.

The words rang in his head over and over on repeat, driving him mad.

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course not! You honestly expect me to believe you out of nowhere? How could you even know that?!"

He squeezed his eyes shut, flying through the skies as the sun began to set.

"But can you say that I'm wrong? How do you know I am?"

He didn't know.

And it terrified him.

"I suppose you only have one way to find out."

And so he went, he couldn't pretend like it was nothing.

"You'll just have to ask him yourself."

He drew a shaky breath. He had to believe that that child was wrong. That he was the one lying.

But deep down, Suzaku feared he already knew the answer.

His voice was barely a whisper to himself, lost in the deafening thoughts in his head.

"Lelouch…"

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"Japanese culture is far more meaningful. It's a culture based on honor and respect."

"That kind of thinking is so narrow minded."

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"You're telling me Lady Enneagram…has fallen?" Cornelia repeated what she was told in a hollow voice.

"She rushed off toward that dreadnought as soon as she had another float unit." Darlton explained to her. "We confirmed she confronted the Lancelot a second time. After a brief exchange we lost contact with her knightmare…and she isn't responding either. So it's…likely she is gone."

The Chief General let out a heavy sigh. "And what of Lady Strauss?"

"She appears to be dedicated to a task of her own." The general replied. "She was unable to assist me earlier. Whatever it is, she believes it can turn the tide of this battle."

Cornelia looked up to the sky. "I imagine Nonette thought the same thing."

She stood among her loyal soldiers, as they engaged in endless firefights and deadly melee; all while under devastating hellfire from above. She could feel their exhaustion, both physically and mentally. But they had no choice but to fight, their retreat was cut off. Euphy made the right choice taking the fleet to safety, but it certainly did not help their morale in the slightest.

"This battle really is hopeless, isn't it?" The princess asked no one in particular.

"I'm afraid that I find myself in agreement." Her knight replied.

But still, amid all this despair, she had one goal left. "We must reach the government bureau. It's extremely well defended, and is equipped with defenses that may help us against the Mirai. In the least, we'd fare far better attempting to outlast it."

"That seems the best course of action." Darlton agreed. "We can relay this to the troops, try to give them some form of hope that we have a way out of this."

In truth, she wasn't even sure that would be close to enough. But it didn't matter. She had only one reason to reach the bureau: he was there.

This battle wasn't about winning or losing anymore. Where she'd stand at the end of it all had nothing to do with that.

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"Is it their honor? Chivalry is dead Suzaku. There is no such thing as honor. Only the real world, the world that took my mother and sister. No one cares about honor."

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A safe distance from any danger, Kaguya spectated the battlefield with a satisfied expression.

Every move made, both from friend and foe, had been carefully planned out, all within the carefully laid out plan Lelouch had explained to her. The only uncertainty was the force Schneizel managed to smuggle into the north. But despite that upset, Lelouch knew the capacity with which Schneizel could operate, and planned around that variable.

From where she stood, they had already won. The Britannians just didn't know it yet.

For such a monumental battle, deciding the fate of their fledgling nation, only a single piece on the board kept her beloved up late into the night. It wasn't her, much as she'd like it to be, but his once favored sister.

All of this, the painstaking intricacy of their strategy, was for Cornelia to see for her own eyes what resolve Lelouch had stood by for seven long years. And to give her a fair and honest choice to be a part of it.

If not for her, all of the Britannain army would have already been crushed into dust.

That's what she loved about him so much. The lengths he would go to for the people he cared about. As much as he wanted to believe he was above such weaknesses, Lelouch truly had a heart that knew what it wanted. He always did.

The girl was shaken from her blissful reminiscing when she noticed something out of place in the distance. She could make out the shape of the Lancelot racing through the dusk, headed for what appeared to be the government bureau. He had just finished dealing with Nonette, Suzaku was supposed to board the Mirai. No one should be at the bureau now.

"Suzaku, is something wrong? Why are you not on the Mirai?" She called to him, noticing an inexplicable pit began to form in her stomach. An uneasy feeling that only grew with the seconds of silence after. "Suzaku, please respond. What's going on?"

Still, she went unanswered.

That feeling now gnawed at her far worse. Kaguya had no way of knowing something was off, but she could not shake the foreboding apprehension that came as the dark of the night crept closer.

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"You and I both hate our fathers, but I still do love my mother. I guess I might be able to understand. Just a little."

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The final act of the play was now in full swing. The Avalon had been subdued, and all paths of escape cut off. Any remaining aces were exhausted, and now their star champion had fallen.

Clovis smiled, leaning back in contentment. He still had a hard time coming to accept that this was reality, that Lelouch had truly done it. No longer was it a dream, or wishful longing; this was reality. The world they wanted to build was right here, forged with their own hands.

He tilted his head, noticing a signal go out in the middle of their standby forces. It was Todoh's IFF.

"Commander Todoh, is something wrong?" He asked. There shouldn't be any immediate danger nearby.

"No, it appears the damage I sustained earlier is affecting my IFF. Nothing more." The older Japanese man explained.

Clovis nodded. "I see. Please inform me then if something does happen."

"Very well."

Losing a commander for whatever reason would be a problem, simply because it would detract from what would effectively be a flawless victory.

Nothing would get in the way of their absolute victory over the old world.

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"I do hereby swear fealty to Lelouch vi Britannia. Let thy word be my law. Let me be thy sword and shield for thy desires. Thou art my lord, till my dying breath."

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A cool chill brushed past as Lelouch looked out to the chaos below him. Behind him were the gardens Clovis had built in memory of better times. It was here where the final choice would be made. If Cornelia would join him…or not.

To his side, Lelouch saw a knightmare approach him. He wasn't sure why Suzaku made his way here, but his presence wasn't exactly unwelcome. The prince waited for his friend to disembark as he gazed upon the struggle below. After some time, he heard footsteps behind him.

"Congratulations, Suzaku. That was a spectacular performance." He spoke, his back to the one behind him. "Now there is little doubt you are a knight unrivaled. I couldn't have asked for a better-"

He trailed off as turned to face the one he called his knight. "Are you alright? You don't look well."

Suzaku held a hard gaze, his fists white knuckled. For once, Lelouch found the expression of his friend wholly unreadable.

"I'm not sure." Suzaku spoke, his voice hollow. "I…spoke with someone just now."

Lelouch frowned, unable to make sense of his demeanor. "Who? Did they tell you something?"

"Yes, they did." He answered. "At first I denied their accusation, I couldn't stand to hear it. But the longer I thought of it, I couldn't disagree. Worse still, I couldn't say they were wrong."

Concern turned to apprehension and dread as he went on. Lelouch wracked his mind to find what might have caused such a reaction out of the Japanese boy. What possibilities arose were…unpleasant.

"I want to believe he was lying, but I have to know for certain. And the only one who can tell me…is you."

Far less theories-only one, in the back of his mind. He forced it away.

Suzaku swallowed, a frighteningly steady hand finding its way to caress the gun at his side. "Seven years ago, when we first arrived at the base in Narita, you offered the command information on Britannia in exchange for safety." He began in a slow and cold tone. "You suggested they use it to preserve as many resources as they possibly could, rather than continue fighting. And my father refused."

His green eyes were narrow and sharp, and the gun was now firmly in his grasp. "That should have been the end of it, with nothing more for you to do. But instead, later that night…my father committed suicide." The words were like ice, the cool air of the night far forgotten in their wake. "I had always believed it was because, after he witnessed just how overwhelming the invasion was, he realized the hopelessness of their struggle. That he chose to give up altogether. I never considered that I might have been wrong. But it just makes far too much sense, after all, since someone had so much to gain from his death."

Suzaku raised his arm, aiming the gun he held squarely on Lelouch. "So that's why I need to know, Lelouch. Seven years ago, were you the one who killed my father?"

The words were finally spoken, and no longer could Lelouch delude himself into thinking he might have misunderstood it all.

"Don't you dare lie to me."

How could he? How could he deny the truth to him? All the masks, all the lies and deceit; he couldn't possibly lie about this.

And yet, the words would not come. They all died in his throat, as he stared down the barrel of a gun.

Another machine flew above them, landing near his own knightmare. Neither of them looked to see, their eyes frozen to each others.

"Suzaku, what the hell are you doing?!" Kaguya demanded, rushing to Lelouch's side. "What is the meaning of this?"

Without even glancing at her, Suzaku responded. "Why don't you tell us, Lelouch?"

The girl looked to her beloved, confusion and desperation etched on her face.

Finally, Lelouch broke away from Suzaku's accusing gaze, his eyes breathed out, long and arduous. "I had an opportunity with a very short window to take." He began in a whisper. "I knew full well that nothing I said or did would convince Genbu to change his mind, nor was there anyone else around me who would reject his order to die. I was given only two choices: To give up on my plans and the chance at controlling Japan, or…remove the obstacle."

He looked back up, into the cold emerald eyes behind the barrel of the gun. "So I made the decision…I killed Genbu Kururugi."

The quiet words were deafening, the only thing Suzaku heard amid the battle around them. He shook his head slightly, taking in a shuddering breath. "I really wanted him to be wrong."

"That's what this is about?" Kaguya interrupted with a bewildered expression. "Suzaku, you know what would have happened otherwise. Right now, we are standing in the very heart of Britannia's dominion in a nation they control. Do you think your father could have gotten us here? Are you telling me you would have preferred us all to have thrown ourselves against an enemy we never had a chance to beat? Whether it was by his hand or Lelouch's, he gave up his own life the moment he made that order. This doesn't change anything."

"It changes Everything!" Suzaku shouted, causing the girl to flinch.

"I loved my father. He was everything I aspired to be. To me, he was the very definition of what it meant to be Japanese." Suzaku explained, pain in his words. "When he took his life he took that 'Japan' with him, in the greatest act of cowardice I had ever seen. In my eyes, the embodiment of my ideals had betrayed them to the very core. Everything I had grown to believe in fell apart all at once. And the me that I am now was born out of the ashes of that belief. Except now I realize, that everything I am…was built upon a lie."

And what that meant, was far worse than he first realized. What if…what if that was his exact intention? If Lelouch had manipulated Suzaku from the very beginning? The one he had sworn his life to, given oath to follow forever more. "It wouldn't have been that terrible, I could have accepted that choice, even back then I believe, given time. But that's not what truly breaks my heart. You know, don't you Lelouch? More than you making that choice…Is that you never told me."

The two of them stood facing one another, the weapon between them never faltering. "Well? Say something!" Suzaku demanded, his face contorting with anger.

Kaguya looked to Lelouch with anxiety. Nothing she could say would make things better, it was all depending on him. She saw him wearing an expression completely alien to her prince. Never before had she seen him ever look striken by grief.

Lelouch listened to all Suzaku had to say with a heavy heart. There were many things he wished he could undo, his past was full of regrets. But there was no single choice he himself made he would choose to change. Only things…he failed to do, that he honestly should have. And this was at the forefront of those failures, seven years too late.

He took a steadying breath before finally addressing his only friend. "Suzaku. I do not regret killing your father. If I was given a chance to do it again I would. Back then, my only real reason was gaining control of Japan's military, all for the sake of acquiring pieces to use against my father. But now, even though I know I did the right thing, we cannot reach the future we seek when the ones holding us back cling to the past. Even so, I've agonized over something for so long now."

He looked down at his hands, the fingers splayed as he recalled the night he took his first bloody step down the path he walked. "There was never anyone whose opinion I cared for, no one's thoughts on my actions or ideals mattered to me…except for you. And thats why, I was always so afraid of what you might think, if you'd known what I had done."

Lelouch returned his gaze to Suzaku, real sincerity in his eyes. "It was never my intention to shatter your ideals, I didn't even realize what I had done until it was too late. That night, when you swore your oath to me, the gravity of what I did to you hit me all at once. By then I, I could never muster the courage to tell you what I had done. For that, for what I've done to you…I am so sorry."

Before him stood not Allen, not Zero or any other mask he wore. Suzaku was face to face with Lelouch. He was flawed, weak in ways he couldn't help. Yet far stronger than anyone is so many more. He was…he was Suzaku's friend. How could he hate him, when he spoke like that?

"Through and through, I really am a fool." He whispered to himself. The tension drained from his body, his nerves finally relaxed. The gun pointed at Lelouch dropped a fraction.

And then, despite his decision, a gunshot echoed through the garden.

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Far from where he might need get his own hands dirty, a boy whose body cared not for the failings of mortality offered a sinister grin. "Oh I cannot wait to watch you suffer."

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Time stood still, shock and horror permanently etched on the faces of all those upon the roof. The smoke whisping from a barrel, a hand outstretched far too late. And bright crimson blossoming from a white dress.

"Kaguya!" A scream of fear and despair rang out, as Lelouch dove to catch the fallen girl.

Frantically, the prince's shaking hands tried to quell the rapidly growing pool as his fingers became stained with blood. "Kaguya, stay with me, you'll be okay." He told her, unable to keep the creeping dread from enveloping his voice. "I'll get you help, don't worry. It'll be fine."

She brought a red soaked hand to his face, a ghost of a smile upon her lips as she looked up at him. "Lelouch, I…I'm sorry that won't be able to keep my promise."

He violently shook his head. "Don't speak, save your strength." Nothing he was doing seemed to make a difference. He couldn't…he couldn't stop the bleeding.

"Don't ever make that face. Regrets don't suit you." Her voice was weak, barely a whisper. "Don't ever look back, keep moving forward. Cause I know…I know you'll get there someday. You'll reach…the tomorrow we dreamed of."

Her hand fell to the ground.

"Kaguya?" Lelouch called out, unstoppable tears fell upon her serene face, her eyes closed. "Kaguya…Kaguya, please!"

"No…this can't…not again." Memories flashed, reflected upon the shattering shards of glass that fell around him. He thought he had nothing left to lose. How horribly wrong he was.

Suzaku stood in muted dismay, unable to loom away from the tragedy before him. "But…I didn't…" Yet the gun he held condemned him.

"SUZAKU!" The roar shook the very ground beneath him, tearing him from his stupor right as a body collided roughly with his own.

The two fell to the ground, Suzaku barely having a second to register the blade raised above his head before it came down upon him. He reached out to stop it inches from his face, but the man atop him brought it closer with inhuman strength like he'd never seen.

"I could have accepted it if you couldn't forgive me. Hell, I don't think I would have protested you shooting me." Lelouch snarled. "But her…I will KILL you, you fucking bastard!"

With a burst of desperate strength, Suzaku shoved the other boy off him, scrambling away to recover his footing. "Lelouch, wait-"

"You think your father was worth her life? Don't make me laugh! I didn't think twice when I stabbed him through the gut." The prince growled, throwing himself forward with reckless abandon. "In fact, I took great pleasure watching the man come to realize I wasn't only taking his life, but his legacy as well. He knew what it would look like, and he knew I would be stealing his country away from him."

Suzaku was completely on the back foot for the first time the two of them have ever fought each other before. Lelouch's rage-fueled ferocity was more than he could bare. "But you know what else he knew? That his fool of a son would fall right into my hands! That he would be the perfect little soldier I could mold to be exactly what I wanted! It should have been easy for you to figure it out, yet you never did. He say you admired him, yet you actually believed he'd kill himself? What a joke!"

Those words were not spoken by Lelouch, but by the demon within him. A monster consumed by unfathomable grief. "That's all you are, a never ending joke. A fool who mindlessly obeyed his father's killer for seven years."

Despite the verbal barbs assaulting him as much as the prince's blade, Suzaku tried again to get a word in. Something was not right about this. He swore it. "Lelouch, listen to me. I think-"

"Thinking isn't your job! All you have to do, is listen to me!" He lunged out, hands gripping Suzaku's throat. "And I am telling you…to die!"

He coughed, struggling in vain to get Lelouch away as he choked the life out of him. "You pathetic father isn't worth her life. No, not even yours is equivalent to hers. For what they've done, for all the wretched filth they've spawned…this whole world will know my pain. I'll burn it all down. Starting with you."

His vision was blurry, his senses fading, as his efforts at life became weaker. All he could see, was a soul lost to vengeance.

A second shot rang out through the chaos of the night.

Lelouch's grip slackened, he was unable to comprehend the pain that now wracked his body. The prince fell wordlessly to the side, leaving Suzaku sputtering for breath. He heard footsteps as he struggled to see who was approaching them.

"It's you!" He finally realized as the intruder came to step over the fallen prince.

"I should have done that years ago." The old Japanese man said with utter contempt."

"Todoh." Lelouch ground out, an arm reaching out toward the one who shot him in the back, like he said he would, all those years ago.

"This snake has betrayed countless allies at the slightest convenience to him. You made the right choice, Suzaku." Todoh spoke, sparing a glance at the Japanese boy. "He is nothing but a demon. Intent to drag us all to hell with him."

"Damn you Todoh!" Lelouch cursed, lunging out with a burst of strength.

Another bullet stopped him from ever reaching the man.

He lay there, his eyes frozen upon the girl only a few feet from him; helplessly, perfectly still. The traitor completely forgotten, he powered through the agonizing pain coursing through his body, crawling with all his might to reach her.

Todoh stepped over him, arms reaching out to lift her from his reach. "She doesn't deserve to die here alongside you."

"Don't you dare…" He growled. Yet he could do nothing. All this time, all that he'd done, and he was still powerless in the end.

"Let's go, Suzaku." Todoh ordered, moving to carry Kaguya toward the Fukushū, intent on taking that from his as well.

Resigned to fate, Suzaku silently complied, moving past the pitiful display of his once indomitable friend. Lelouch's hand was outstretched, fingers desperately trying to reach a small black object lying in a crimson pool.

Suzaku recognized it, from long ago.

A chess piece. Kaguya must have held it.

In an act of pity, Suzaku retrieved it, before placing it in the prince's grasp.

"Quicky, boy. We haven't long to escape."

He turned, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Alright."

"Where do you think you're going?" Lelouch choked out, eyes burning with hatred. "Bring her back. I won't let you take her from me."

Todoh turned to him one last time. "I can't imagine someone like you could possibly care for anyone other than yourself."

The exiled prince's faced contorted into a visage monstrous of fury. "Todoh!"

"Hell should have taken you. Not the others you've sent there."

And so he found himself alone. Everything he knew was gone. Everything he loved was taken from him. All that was left, was a hollow void within his heart.

"SUZAKU!"

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Okay.

I've known this was coming for…years.

Someone once mentioned that Lelouch was completely unprepared for Geass, and well, there's consequences for every action, eventually. Even the Devil's luck runs dry at some point.

A throne made of glass is quite fragile indeed.