Elena stared up at the sky. How had life gotten this complicated? She thought back to the days with her parents. Back in the days when her next math test was her biggest concern. Back before her brother fell apart. Before Damon came waltzing into town. The bad-ass vampire causing mayhem everywhere he goes. Hating everyone. Killing people at random. Being so unpredictable that everyone walks around afraid of what will go wrong next. Before people started dying left and right. Before Katherine arrived in Mystic Falls and made everyone wish for the days when Damon had been the biggest monster in town. Before she found out about vampires, doppelgangers, and werewolves. Before she knew that there was a hybrid whose goal in life was to find and kill her. It seemed so unreal to her. For a few moments she imagined how wonderful it would be if she was a carefree 17 years old who had never heard of anything supernatural.
She turned her head to the left and studied Damon's profile as he lay beside her, watching the sky turn pink as the sun set on the horizon. She remembered the brief period between Damon coming to town and when she found out the Salvatore's were vampires. She remembered how much she had liked him at first. He had been funny and engaged with the people around him, even if it had seemed a little contrived. Then he began showing his manipulative side. After she found out what he was, she began seeing how cruel and cold he could be. Every time someone pushed him, he pushed back harder. Just when she started thinking he really did give a damn, he would do something horrible just to prove he didn't. It was like every time he did anything remotely nice he had to compensate by doing something bad. Now that she had come back in time, she began to realize what it had all been about. As a human, he was romantic, honest, caring, and funny. And in a lot of pain. Pain that in this time period he hid with a smile and gallantry, acting like it didn't exist. After that pain fermented during 145 years of frustration over Katherine and loneliness, he began hiding it by embracing his vampire nature, a nature he had never wanted. He found it easier to be hated than pitied. He violently rejected any weakness in himself. And caring was the biggest weakness of all. Not that she blamed him for feeling that way considering what the people who were supposed to care for him had done. His father rejected him and ultimately killed him, his brother turned him into something he didn't want to be after mercilessly stomping all over his heart with Katherine, and Katherine herself failed to give back to Damon half of what he gave her even though he chased after her for over a hundred years. In this version of history, the woman he changed into a vampire to protect... well, he won't even remember she exists, which makes the sacrifice just a little pointless. The bad-ass vampire image he presented so well was like a neon sign that says "stay out" and it makes it more than clear that if you even try to hurt him, not only will you be unlikely to succeed, but you'll definitely regret trying. That image was crumbling in the future. She often avoided thinking about why. It was too much responsibility for her to handle, knowing that the only thing keeping him in check was herself.
She realized she wouldn't go back to before even if she could. Klaus had been bound to find her eventually and, as much as it hurt, it was probably better that her parents hadn't been around for that. God only knew what would have happened to them as they got caught in the cross fire. Aunt Jenna stabbing herself had been bad enough. Plus, Stefan and Damon had changed her life in good ways too. Stefan had brought her out of her shell. Stefan and Damon both taught her how strong she really was. Stefan through gentle understanding and love, pushing her to be her best. Damon by making her face things, no matter how ugly.
And this Damon lying beside her- she was more than glad that she had been given the opportunity to meet him. He was the gallant knight that every girl dreams about. It was going to be so hard to leave him behind, knowing what the years do to him. And she had absolutely no idea what she was going to tell Stefan. She cringed. She had become her worst nightmare.
"What is wrong?" Damon's voice brought her out of her reverie.
She looked up into his concerned gaze. He really did deserve as much of the truth as she could safely give him. He wouldn't remember she had even been here 24 hours from now, so, really, what harm could it do? Other than make him hate her, that is. "I need to explain some things to you..."
She paused, swallowed, and continued, "I am best friends with Emily Bennet's great-great-great-great granddaughter. A very old vampire told me to have her send me to 1864 so that I could retrieve a locket before his brother could steal it from him. His brother is the vampire that is trying to kill me."
His expression didn't change in the slightest. She had spoken so fast she wondered if he had even understood her. Then he blinked. And blinked again. "Great-great-great-great-granddaughter?" he asked incredulously. "So what, you were born over a hundred years from now?"
"I was born, am born, will be..." she made an exasperated sound. "1992. I was born in 1992."
He let out a low whistle. "I knew there was something more to your story." He paused, "Wait, is that how you knew Stefan's name without anyone telling you? And how you seemed to know so much about what was going on between Stefan, Katherine, and I? You know us, in the future? Or, at least, our story?" He took a deep breath and stared at the ground. Before Elena could answer, his eyes snapped to hers and narrowed in accusation, "You knew what was going to happen last night. You knew I..." his voice rose in anger, "You knew the whole time!"
Elena knew he could see the guilt written plainly on her face. "Yes, to all of it. I do know you and Stefan in the future. And I did know what was going to happen but I couldn't do anything that would change history. Bonnie says it is much too dangerous. What is done is done and should not be changed. I did too much as it is, interfering with you and that girl. You won't even remember I was here once I go back. That is how the spell works. All memory of me will be erased to help minimize the effect of my presence."
He looked up, staring hard at the sky. "In the original version, I killed that girl, didn't I? Stefan let me kill her?"
"Yes," she answered, so quietly she could barely hear herself. Even though Damon showed no indication that he heard her, she knew with his vampire hearing that he had.
After a while, he spoke softly, still staring at the sky, "Thank you. I left the war to escape the bloodshed. I don't need to be responsible for any more deaths." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flinch. He tipped his head down to look her hard in the eyes. He saw regret, pain, and confusion swirling there. Pain lanced through him as he guessed at the cause. "Am I a monster? In the future?"
She tore her gaze from his. She couldn't stand to look in his eyes which were clear, unguarded, and young while thinking about how shuttered, cynical, and bitter they look 145 years and God only knew how many murders later. She didn't know how to answer. She had seen him be a complete monster, but she had also seen him act like he wants to be better but just doesn't know how. Was he a monster? With a lump in her throat, she saw him breaking her brothers neck and she squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.
"Oh." That one syllable was enough to make her heart feel like it was breaking in two. She could hear the pain and fear laced in his voice. When she looked at him again, he looked lost. She tried to imagine how she would feel to know that she was going to become everything she never wanted to be and had no way of stopping it. She knew that a man like Damon didn't handle helplessness well. But the fact was, he wasn't going to remember her or anything he did with her in this time. Which meant that she couldn't do anything to help him fight against the path that he would inevitably end up on. She couldn't give him the hope he needed to hold himself together through the lonely, painful years ahead. He would become a bitter and ruthless killer. It was only a matter of time. And the thought made her heart hurt. Because now she would know what he used to be, what he lost along the way. What she had lost.
Damon felt numb. He didn't know how long he sat, staring at nothing. But he finally shook himself, trying to clear his head. That was when he noticed the silent tears slipping down Elena's face to fall on the skirt of her dress. He captured her face in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers. "Please, do not cry. What is done is done. Is that not what you said? So what will happen will happen. But, we get to do as we wish until you leave, do we not? We will make the most of it. And we will meet again, in the future. So there is hope." He knew he was rambling, but, truth be told, it was all a bit much for him to process. His emotions were ridiculously heightened and swirling inside him, all tangled together. All he knew for certain was that this girl in front of him was the source of much of what he was feeling.
"In the future, you are so closed off and bitter. I think that you are in a lot of pain, but you don't show it. Instead, you lash out. You don't trust anyone with anything. I don't know how to reach you, how to help you."
He continued to frame her face in his hands but he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. "I do not know who I become in the future, or exactly how I got there, but I have a good idea of what I must be feeling to be acting like that. But regardless of the circumstances, I promise you, that if you can look at me with the love I see in your eyes right now, if you can hold on to me and make it clear that you are never letting go, I will do anything, be anything for you. That is all I need." In that moment, he knew that he was holding everything he would ever need between his hands. In three days, she had done more for him than anyone else in his life combined, except for his mother. Even though he was a monster in the life she knew. He needed to touch her, needed to be surrounded by her more than he had ever needed anything in his life. He leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head so that his lips brushed her cheek instead.
"There is one more thing," she said. "It's really important and I should have told you sooner and I'm really sorry but everything is so different here than where I am from and its too easy to ignore everything and..." Damon placed a finger on her lips, silencing her.
"Breathe. Whatever it is, I forgive you," he said gently.
Her smile was rueful. "Don't worry, I won't hold you to that. I... well, in the future, men don't usually court women the way you are used to. Men and women spend time together unchaperoned all the time. Things are more... equal between the genders. It's called dating." She hesitated, taking a deep breath before continuing, "You and Stefan leave Mystic Falls for a long time. I met Stefan first. He came back to town first. And we..." she stopped and, a moment later, she saw realization dawn on Damon's face.
He jerked back and her heart dropped. Words began tumbling from her lips, "Like I said, you are a completely different person. And so is he. At least, it seemed like it at first. But I am beginning to see that I wasn't looking deep enough- in the future, I mean. I guess it's just easier to hate you than try to understand why you do the terrible things you do. And I want Stefan to be good so bad I have blinded myself to his bad qualities. But I am starting to understand and I am beginning to care for you, so much, and I am terrified that I'm becoming exactly who I vowed I would never be like. I never wanted to be like Katherine, but I..." Damon cut her off with a hard, swift kiss.
"You are nothing like her. Nothing. Do you understand? For her it is a game, a sick game. You have more heart in a single finger than she has in her whole body. You have made mistakes. Everyone does. But everything she has done has been deliberate. I suspect it has all been a carefully and ruthlessly orchestrated game to meet her own selfish ends. I do not believe you could purposefully hurt someone unless your life depended upon it. I never want to hear you compare yourself to her again. And unless I have gone completely blind during the years ahead, I am sure even my future self would agree that you are worth so much more than Katherine ever could have been. You don't even look the same." His fingers began tracing her face. "There is a warmth, a glow about you that she never had. It..."
This time, it was Elena's turn to cut him off by pressing her lips to his. The kiss quickly became one of blatant hunger and longing. Damon attacked her lips, pressing her down to the ground. But she was determined to hold her own and kissed him back just as fiercely, her hands yanking the hem of his shirt from his breeches so she could run her fingers up his stomach to his chest. He groaned suddenly and stood up, pulling her up into his arms. Her hands slid around to his back and she looked up at him, dazed and a little confused. Damon began running and Elena buried her face in his chest. They were moving so fast everything was a bit blurred and she was afraid if she looked she would be sick.
When he slowed to a jog, she looked around and saw that they were back at his house. He carried her up the steps, into the house, up the winding staircase, and right into what she assumed was his bedroom. He then deposited her on the bed and was undressed before she had even registered what he was doing. The mattress shifted under her as he climbed into the bed. Bracing himself over her, he leaned down and covered her lips with his own.
Elena knew that only a couple of minutes had passed since they had been kissing by the water, but it felt like it had been an hour. She eagerly threaded her tongue with his. In the back of her mind, she realized that this was wrong, that Stefan was waiting for her in the future, but at the same time it felt so perfect. Just like yesterday afternoon, after she had met with Jonathon Gilbert and his wife. She had spent the rest of yesterday and most of today trying not to think about it. Trying not to remember the feel of his lips, or the rasp of his hands as they had slid over her body. She still had no idea how it had happened. One moment, he was showing her the gazebo on his property and the next... As soon as his lips had met hers, she had been lost. He had been hesitant to take it further, he kept asking if she was sure even as their hands kept moving over each others skin like something terrible would happen if they lost contact. It had been sweet. And wholly unexpected. And irresistible. It had been a long time since she had been overwhelmed by passion for anything. The feeling that shoves aside all reason, that makes all worries fade away to nothing as one loses themselves in the joy of the moment. So instead of walking away from the insanity, she had wallowed in it. Wallowed in him, in the fireworks that exploded when they came together. As she pulled herself out of her memories, she realized that she was naked and he was staring down at her.
"Are you alright?" he whispered. "I can leave, if you want me to. If you don't want this. You can sleep here. I will find somewhere else to spend the night."
She reached up to stroke his cheek and she smiled, pushing her worries aside. He was right earlier when he said that what was done was done, what would be would be, and that they should enjoy what time they had. In for a penny, in for a pound.
She rolled them so that she was straddling him. She felt a jolt run through her as she came into intimate contact with everything Damon. "I was just thinking about how wonderful yesterday afternoon was. And how amazing we were under the sun this afternoon. And how much I was looking forward to repeating the process. Again," she leaned down and brushed her lips over his. "And again." Another brush. "And again." This time, her lips fully captured his and she felt like her body had caught on fire. No one had ever turned her on this much. She hadn't even known it was possible. His hands gripped her hips as his pelvis bucked slightly under her and his tongue drove into her mouth. In that moment, she forgot to breathe. She had one final thought before Damon's fingers slid to her center and she forgot her own name. If only I had known how perfect it could be.
If you liked it, I would love to hear from you, and if you didn't please be gentle but I would love to hear what you think I could have done better. At the end of the next chapter, Elena goes back to present day. And things, of course, go crazy.