"What the hell are we going to do with her?" Caroline demanded as she paced back and forth in Elena's living room.

"Do with her? We can't do anything with her. We just have to be there for her," Bonnie said.

"We've been doing that, all of us. And now this," Jeremy interjected. "What could she have been thinking?"

Caroline and Bonnie both shook their heads, as baffled as Jeremy.

A new voice joined the group and everyone's heads snapped up in surprise. "She's thinking that she has nothing to lose. She's thinking that she doesn't want to think, to feel but has no way to turn it all off. She's thinking that after everything that's happened in the last year and a half that she is tired. She needed time to just let it all go, to be responsible for nothing."

"How did you even get in here?" Bonnie demanded.

"I was invited in long ago," Elijah replied.

"Why are you here?" Jeremy asked, clearly wary.

"Elena called me."

"What? She's awake?" Caroline exclaimed, moving toward the stairs.

Before she had even reached the hallway, Elena appeared. "Thank you for coming, Elijah."

Elijah executed a small bow, "Any time, Elena. Are you ready to go?"

"Go?" Bonnie, Jeremy, and Caroline exclaimed at the same time.

"Yes, go," Elena said. "I'll be back later."

"Elena do you really think its a good idea to go anywhere tonight?" Bonnie inquired gently.

"Yeah, sis, I mean, you've had a long weekend."

"You act like I was kidnapped and beaten," Elena said with a dark laugh. "That hasn't happened in a while, don't you remember?" Her friends shifted awkwardly and she took pity on them. "I'll be alright. I promise. I don't know what came over me this weekend, but I'll pull it together. So quit worrying about me." Somehow, running from away from all of her responsibilities, being someone completely different, making crazy decisions- it all had allowed her to step back and look at her life from a different perspective. Things that seemed important before no longer were and things that she hadn't made enough of a priority suddenly seemed vital. She had assessed herself, her values, who she should be as a person and rearranged it all without even realizing. She had gone into that house broken and woken up home again a new, stronger person. She didn't know how it happened, but it had and she was grateful.

"No, you weren't kidnapped and beaten. You willingly ran off and played the part of some vamp's blood whore. Then, you told Bonnie and I that you were disappointed we'd saved you- that you had hoped to die in that house. So forgive us if we don't think you are fit to be running around town with another notoriously dangerous vampire. A vampire who's brother, I might add, just killed you. Unless that is still your goal?" The words poured out of Caroline's mouth before she could stop them.

Bonnie and Jeremy stared at her in horror. Elijah's face remained carefully blank. Elena's eyebrows raised, but otherwise she made no indication that Caroline had said anything at all.

"I will see you all later," Elena said smoothly. "Elijah?" Elijah held out his arm for her in response. Elena took it and they calmly left the room.

. . .

"They basically told me an abortion followed by surgery was my best option. Going through with the pregnancy could very well kill me. Yeah, didn't take that well."

"An understatement, I believe."

Elena laughed. "Yeah, well. I was bound to snap and do something dumb eventually."

"What is your plan?"

"Do my best to get through the pregnancy. If it kills me, it kills me. If I make it to term, then I will make sure to consume vampire blood. That way, if I die during birth, I'll turn."

Elijah's eyebrows raised. "Why?"

"Why try to have the baby or why turn?" Elijah did not answer, he just gazed calmly into her eyes, waiting for her answer to his question. Elena sighed and took a sip of her coke. "I can't lose this baby. It would destroy me. It's all that's left of him. And I can't have the baby and then die, leaving both Jeremy and the baby alone. So, I'm going to go with my plan and hope for the best."

Elena turned around as a familiar voice came over the sound system. It was Jake. He really did have a nice voice.

...

Elena turned back toward the bar. Staring down into her drink, she really wished she could have some alcohol in it. Her hand settled on her stomach. She might not have done a great job thus far to protect her baby, but when she had woken up a few days ago after her weekend in DC she swore she would be the best mother-to-be ever.

"Dreams are even better than compulsion," Elijah told her.

"What?" Elena asked.

"To spend one more day with someone. Compulsion works but its rocky because to make a conscious person think that someone who is dead is with them is to make them believe the person isn't actually dead. But dreams, dreams can allow a person to see the person they want to see the way they remember them. The dream is steered by a vampire, but all of the details are provided by the dreamer."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you completely fell apart and ran away to Washington DC. Then you came back 2 days later saying you are well and whole. You have now decided you will turn to save yourself after having a baby that I doubt you are prepared to handle, all while trying to hide out from my brother, who is literally a blood hound. You may feel like you have it together right now, you may think you have it all worked out. But I do not think you have found any actual lasting peace. I think you need all of the support you can get. Maybe seeing him, talking to him will help you find some answers."

Elena tilted her head towards him and their eyes locked. They sat that way for quite a while before she responded quietly, "Perhaps you are right. Goodness knows you have been around long enough to get good at reading people. But I don't know that I can handle it right now. To see him, touch him, talk to him, even in a dream, and then to wake up to a world that he isn't in? Maybe at the right moment it will help, but right now I need to focus on the future, on what is right in front of me."

Elijah nodded his head and said nothing. They spent the next few minutes in silence, then a man leaned against the bar next to her. "Hey. Elena, right?"

Elena smiled slightly when she saw who it was. "Yeah, and you're Jake."

"That I am. Nice to officially meet you," he said, extending his hand.

Elena shook it. "You are really rather good, you know."

"Yeah, so my manager says."

Her eyebrows rose, "Your manager?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, well, my mom says I should have the opportunity to make it big or something. She got a manager to represent me. Don't know how exactly, but I figured what could it hurt, right?"

Elena laughed. "Good luck with that."

Jake smiled, "Thanks. So do you sing?"

"Only in the shower."

"What a shame."

For a moment, her mind flashed back to a conversation she had with Damon in 1865.

"Umm... I don't really sing when there are other people around."

"Well that is a shame because your voice is beautiful. Just like the rest of you, body and soul."

She pulled herself to the present. "Why is that?"

"Because, I was hoping to drag you on stage with me. I think we'd look good together up there," he said with a wink.

She giggled, the sound surprising her. She hadn't done much giggling recently. "That's because I can make anything look good," she said with a wink in return. She figured that would be the kind of thing Damon would say and it made her smile even more.

"Oh, really? Then lets go pretty lady."

"Go?"

"Yeah, put your money where your mouth is. Come on. We're gonna sing something."

Elena opened her mouth to decline when Jake grabbed her hand and gently pulled her off the bar stool.

"Could be fun," he told her.

Elena hesitated, then nodded. "Okay. Why not?"

Once he pulled her up on stage, Jake asked, "Do you know Need You Now by Lady Antebellum?"

"Have I been living under a rock?" Elena responded, laughing.

"Okay then." Jake turned to talk to the guy running the music, then handed her a mike. The music started and Elena tapped her foot to the beat, her head nodding as the sound of the piano drifted through the bar.

She then began to sing, "Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore."

Jake's voice joined hers, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time."

"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now." Elena lowered her mike and watched Jake sing. The look on his face tugged on her heart. She could tell the words meant something to him- there was someone he was missing, just like she was. The words flowed over her,

"Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door. Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before." Jake turned to her, catching her eyes.

She raised her mike and sang with him, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time." Their voices rose slightly, infused with a passion that was riveting for the people watching. "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now."

Jake stepped closer, "And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now."

Elena took another step forward until there was barely a foot of space separating them. "And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now. Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I just need you now. Oh, baby, I need you now."

As their voices trailed off, applause began in the crowd. They stared at each other for a few more moments before turning and making a bow.

Elena quickly moved off stage and through the crowd. She was ready to leave. That had been intense, too intense for her to handle right now.

A woman with platinum hair stepped in front of her, causing her to stop. A moment later, Jake stepped up beside her. The woman turned to him, "Hey, Jake. That was dynamite."

"Elena, this is my manager, Sophie. Sophie, this is Elena, one of my classmates."

Elena held out her hand. She was suddenly very tired but she pasted a smile on her face anyway, "It's nice to meet you."

Sophie took her hand in her own and held it. "You two were amazing together," she gushed.

Elena gently tugged her hand back. "Thank you very much. It's kind of you."

"Jake plans to sing a few numbers at a music fest in Savannah here in a couple weeks. If you two want, you could do a duet there. It would be awesome."

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have too much on my plate. Besides, I don't really sing in public." The last thing she needed was any serious attention drawn to her. Plus, she would start showing soon. She had to decide what she was going to do. So far, no one knew except Bonnie, Bonnie's mom, Caroline, and Elijah.

"Well, at least think about it. It could be a great opportunity for you both!"

"Yeah, maybe. I need to go though. Gotta get home." She turned to Jake. "Thanks for dragging me up there, though. It really was a lot of fun."

Elijah appeared at her side with her coat. She smiled at him. "Thanks." Turning to Jake and Sophie, she told them good night. With that, her and Elijah left the bar.

On the way home, Elijah broached the subject all of her friends had been avoiding. "Do you wish to discuss your weekend's dark festivities?"

Elena had been lost in thoughts of her on stage debut and, surprised, turned her head sharply towards Elijah. "Why do you ask?"

"Consider me concerned. I've seen the underbelly of my... culture, enough times to know it can be very disturbed. You have been spending your time this week with me, avoiding your friends. I am assuming there is a connection. I thought perhaps you would wish to discuss what is bothering you."

"You know, I don't think I have heard you speak as much as you have today in the entire time I have known you," Elena said.

A wry smile settled on Elijah's face. "Often, less is more."

"Ah, see that is more like you. Look, I avoid my friends because they want to talk about it, except they don't want to know. So they stand around awkwardly. I like you for the fact that you are a man of few words and this week I simply did not wish to be alone. DC was... enlightening. By being a completely different person for a while, I managed to get a grip on who I have become and what my life is like now. As much as I wish for the simpler days before my parents died, they are never coming back. Wishing for them has gotten me nowhere. Wishing for those days is what led me to push Damon aside for so long, it is why he died thinking I hated him. And I had never been able to understand his vampire side. But I am starting to. DC showed me the fun, carefree side of vampirism. Those vampires don't believe in killing humans or forcing them. They just let humans enjoy their darker wishes. The people I met in that house don't question everything they do, worry what it might mean to be who they are. I want to learn. I want to like who I am, whoever that is, no apologies necessary. And with how crazy my life is, I damn well am going to take my enjoyment where I can find it. As long as no one gets hurt, who cares?" she stopped talking, surprised with herself. The things she had just said were one hundred percent true, but it wasn't something she had consciously thought about.

When Elijah didn't respond, she added, "What, were you hoping for gory details? Had crazy hot wild sex with a vampire, some biting was involved- didn't realize it could be intoxicating seeing as how I am used to excruciating pain followed by death, so that was a pleasant surprise. I'm sure Bonnie would have an apoplexy if I told her. I'm sure her imagination is bad enough."

Elijah laughed softly. "I promise, what you were providing was even more intoxicating for him."

Elena watched him curiously. Something about his tone was odd. She couldn't quite place it, but he was suddenly in a mood she had never seen him in before.

Elijah pulled up in front of her house. Getting out of the car, he walked around to the passenger side and opened her door for her.

She stepped out, "Is everything okay, Elijah?"

Elijah stood looking down at her, his face impassive. Elena was about to give up on him answering when he spoke. "It's... I was reminded of a conversation Katherine and I had, long ago. Nothing to worry about. Good night, Elena."

Elena watched him, concerned, for a few more moments before reluctantly nodding. "Alright. Thank you for putting up with me."

A small, rare smile crossed his lips. He executed a small bow, "Not at all a hardship, I assure you."

She turned, then stopped. Turning back to face him, she quickly reached out and hugged him, then stepped back, gave him a nod, and went into her house. After she got undressed and slipped into bed, she considered how odd the day had been. First Jake, then that odd moment with Elijah. She sighed. It had been a long year.

She'd have to spend some serious time thinking later, sorting her life out. But for now, she just wanted to sleep. Turning out the light, she settled down and soon was asleep.

. . .

I was standing in a meadow. Tilting my head up, I enjoyed the sun warming my face. A few moments later, two arms encircled my waist from behind and I squealed. Spinning within the embrace, I found myself face to face with Damon. Grinning, I admonished him, "You are late. Very late."

He smiled back.. "Well, my lady, I am very sorry. I got held up."

"A kiss will see everything forgiven," I told him, still grinning widely. I loved bantering with him. He brought his face a bare inch from mine and I felt my heartbeat speed up. His lips melded with mine and I quit thinking about anything else. His kisses were always exquisite. Every time we stood like this, I never wanted to leave. Damon drew back and I made a sound in protest.

Laughing, he picked me up and spun me in a circle. I giggled as he set me down and stepped back, tilting his face up to the sun as I had done just a few minutes before. I could never get over how perfect his features were. The sun lovingly caressed every slope and valley of his face and neck.

I tried to reach out to trace those same slopes and valleys but I couldn't get my arm to move. Movement behind Damon caught my eye and I screamed as I saw three wolves advancing towards us. But no sound came out of my mouth. I kept trying to reach out and touch him, to yell, anything to warn him, but I couldn't. He was blissfully unaware, eyes closed, head tipped back.

Suddenly, I was jerked awake. Jeremy was standing over me, shaking me. I struggled to figure out what was going on, stuck between the dream and reality. Distantly, I heard screams and after a few moments I realized they were coming from my own throat.

Alaric came running in, "What? What is it?"

I took a deep breath, then another. I tried desperately to calm my heart rate. I tucked my hands under my blankets to hide the fact that they were shaking like crazy. After taking one more deep breath, I felt calm enough to speak. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream. Just a really bad dream." Jeremy and Alaric stared at me skeptically.

"Really, guys," I said. "I'm fine now. Go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you."

After a few more moments of staring at me, Alaric nodded. "Okay. Okay, come on Jeremy. Let's go. Let's let her get back to sleep."

Jeremy nodded reluctantly. "Let me know if you need anything, k?" he told me.

"I will, Jer. Good night." With that, they left. I stared at the door for a few minutes as tears slid silently down my cheeks. Finally, exhausted, I lay back down. Mercifully, I fell asleep within minutes and did not dream for the rest of the night.