7. THE WATER'S EDGE
So, I'm a virgin. There, I said it.
And, well, it's the first night of my honeymoon. My wife – man, it's going to take some time to get used to that motherload of a word! – is literally getting ready right now in our bathroom, which was approximately four feet from where I was sitting now and we were separated by one flimsy little door. That's it. So basically, we're going to go skinny-dipping together (yeah, you heard that right. I swear it was Archie's idea, not mine - it's a real ice-breaker, apparently) on a freaking island that my doctor mother-in-law freaking bought her husband (you know, my dear old dad-in-law) with moolah she's been saving up for - what? Like 300 years? - and I'm a married man. Hell yeah. Geez. How do you even "get ready" to go skinny-dipping, anyways? Don't you just, like, throw off all your clothes and jump into the water? Something like that? I guess it's all just mental, if I take into account how I'm feeling about this whole thing right about now. I sucked in a breath and blew it out loudly, trying to calm my nerves. You know that show Naked and Afraid? Well, that about sums up my entire mental state tonight. I shivered and tried to gather up the courage to speak to my wife, rising from the mattress of this giant white bed situated in the middle of this giant white bedroom, hearing the springs creak ever so slightly from under me as I caught my balance and fastened my towel even tighter around my waist. It wasn't like she was gonna see me right then and there in all my very pale, half-albino, totally naked glory, but I just couldn't help it.
"Hey, Edythe?" I went up to and knocked on that flimsy little door I was telling you about earlier.
"Yes?" Her voice sounded even higher than usual, but just as beautiful and soft as silk. Maybe she was freaking out a little in there, too.
"I'm gonna, uh, you know, head out early, if that's okay with you?" My voice got all high and squeaky, like I was suddenly going through puberty all over again. I coughed and tried it again. "That is, I'm gonna head down to the beach right now, if you don't mind? Just to get my feet wet; test out the waters. You know me! Extreme temperatures and all." My voice, while I did somehow manage to make it come out a smooth, even sound, shook in the slightest and the pacing of my speech sped up just a little bit.
"No, of course! I'll meet you there soon." she answered quickly and I nodded real fast, almost forgetting she can't even see me right now. I turned around and went out through the front patio, falling down into a semi-squat on the top step leading out to the beach, my giant towel the only barrier between my skin and the elements. I sighed, dropping my head low to look down at the tops of my knees. Biting my lip, I popped my knuckles and tugged at my fingers, wondering very seriously if my heart could be any louder than it was right now. Little beads of sweat formed on my brow, half from the nerves and half because it was still very hot here even when nighttime had already fallen. I prayed Edythe wouldn't come out right now to find me like this before I could pull myself together because I could imagine what she'd think the instant she did - No, it wouldn't be very hard for her to convince herself then that we were making a mistake.
The thing is, I wasn't freaking out because I thought we were making a mistake. Not at all. I was only freaking out because I literally had no idea what the heck I was doing, and I was afraid to go back into that house with Edythe later on tonight and face the unknown. I had no playbook, no strategy. It was all starting to sink in, what this night meant for us. What we were going to do. I wondered if I needed to put on music, or light some candles? Who would do what first? Did it start with a specific kind of kiss? Some special touch? All of the above? My heart sped up at the thought. This felt exactly like having to walk out in front of a theater full of thousands with no idea what my lines were. I wondered how people could do this - swallow all their fear and trust someone so completely with every imperfection and fear they had - with anything less than the commitment Edythe and I had made to each other? Because if it weren't Edythe right there beside me tonight, if I didn't know through and through with everything in me that she loved me as much as I loved her - unconditionally, irrevocably, and, let's be honest here, pretty irrationally - I'd never be able to get off this floor.
I took a deep breath and rose to my feet.
The warm, fragrant night air energized me some; made it a little easier to breathe. The crashing waves sprayed my face with ocean mist and I closed my eyes and wriggled my toes in the warm, wet sand which squelched pleasantly between them. The color of the sand matched the same shade of white as the moonlight which shone down on it from the sky above which was full of giant, twinkling stars. All was quiet, and you couldn't see anyone for miles. I reached down to the towel fastened round my waist and started to undo the little knot I'd made, soon feeling it fall with a muted thud onto the sand. I stepped out of the fluffy white ring and took another deep breath. "Here goes nothing." I said to myself and slowly, slowly began wading into the water. I shuddered as the coolness of the sea slammed into my calves then my thighs and then my torso, and I filled my mouth with an air bubble to stop myself from gasping too loudly as I submerged myself entirely in it, self-conscious of every little move I made even when there wasn't anyone around to give me a hard time for it. I stayed that way, looking out into the sea and contemplating my whirring thoughts as I watched the shining city lights from across the vast, blue water which seemed to be telling me to just calm down and relax, and I actually almost did. Just as I pulled myself out of my little OCD stint though, a cool, soft hand pressed up against my bare back, threatening to topple that peace I so painstakingly crafted in my little moments of self-reflection. But I couldn't have been happier.
"Hey." Both her cool hands were touching me now and I didn't dare turn around, afraid I'd freaking die from seeing an entire deity up close and personal; like I'd get struck down by a lightning bolt thrown by Zeus for, me being a mere mortal and all, getting too close to Aphrodite. Her breasts were pressed firmly up against my back and she reached out in front of her, catching me, and ran her hands up and down my chest and torso from behind, gently at first but then her movements got quicker and quicker as she left a kiss on my shoulder and gave me a sort of squeeze of a hug. I could feel her cheek resting on my back and I closed my eyes tight, taking another deep breath. It shuddered out of me, and my heart went sprinting. Heat flooded through my body; made my stomach muscles feel tight and I knew right then that it had begun.
"Hey." I answered her touches in a voice just barely above a whisper. It was all I could manage. I was frozen to the spot, my feet felt like they were getting sucked down into a vortex of sand and I felt as if I'd wake up on the other side from this impossible dream; this impossibly amazing, totally ridiculous, and stunningly beautiful dream. It's a good thing she swiveled me round to look at her (I couldn't have done it on my own accord), and just like that I knew right then and there I really were struck dead, only for my freaking soul to have woken up in what could only have been Heaven.
I've never seen Edythe naked before. I mean, I've imagined it more times than I'd care to admit, sure, but nothing, and I mean nothing, not even my wildest dreams could have ever prepared me for the awesome Beauty which lay right before me that was her pulchritudinous form; which was of the highest caliber of perfection to the millionth degree.
I've never gotten so high on a figure before.
"You're so beautiful." It was the biggest understatement in the universe. My brain, dumbstruck by the immaculate vision that was my wife, almost couldn't formulate these words in one cohesive sentence, and it was near impossible for me to even register in my head I was speaking at all in the first place. I was too lost in the pure art that she was.
"So are you." she breathed out in a whisper and threw her beautiful arms around my neck. She jumped up a little and my hands hooked behind her knees in the soft blue water. My hands drifted slowly up her bare thighs and I squeezed at those heavenly bits of perfection, my hips throbbing with my longing for her; that desire for her to at once become a part of me; an extension of the whole which we made together.
We shared a kiss, then another and another under that dazzling night sky, our lips meeting again and again like the waves which crashed upon the shore in the glow of the moon which bathed us in unbending light.