Chapter 4

When I woke up my hand hadn't completely healed yet. After I called in to work, I spent most of the early afternoon kicking myself for not saying something to Tay yesterday. I didn't have much experience expressing gratitude, not like anyone ever does anything nice for me. After what she did, I owed her something better than a stuttered thank you, and I hated feeling indebted to people. I remembered what that viper said, that maybe she'd like some food or a friend. Yea, I don't think she's in the market for a friend, maybe an enemy, and food didn't work too well with Sammy... Spending too much time thinking about her again, that snake… and I guess Sammy too. It's not like I really cared about Tay, she's got a track record with me and one nice thing doesn't offset all that. Now, I was open to having my mind changed, but I doubted she would.

After scrolling through my game library on my computer and not doing anything for a few hours, I mustered the willpower to make myself something to eat. I slapped a few slices of bologna, a slice of that delicious highly-processed government cheese, and slathered some mayo, between two slices of white bread. Wasn't fine dining, but I didn't feel like cooking, I rarely did.

As soon as I took a bite, someone began to frantically pound on my door. The knocks resonated throughout my house. I quickly chewed up what was in my mouth and crept up my peephole to see who it was.

I relaxed when I saw three familiar goombahs outside. I opened the door and said, "Guys? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Ray spoke first. "Dude, you told us you had the day off this morning. You get amnesia from the grease burn?"

"Yea, I figured you'd get onlin—"

Josh cut me off and pointed one of his wide fingers at my sandwich. "The real question is what are you eating? What, did you run out of spaghetti leftovers already?"

"I've been out of spaghetti for a few days now. You too blue-blooded for bologna? Sorry, I'm not eating foie gras."

He chuckled "Vro, how can you eat that garbage? The city has had access to real food for years."

I shrugged. "Ey, like my ma said: hunger is the best seasoning. Think she got that from Plato or something." I said, taking another bite of my sandwich.

"Actually, it was Socrates." Dan corrected.

Ray uncrossed his arms and waved them in the air at Dan. "Who cares who said that shit. I don't care if it was booga ooga from 10,000 BC." He looked back at me. "We're going on an I-R-L adventure, Vince, so put some clothes on and lets G - O."

"Ok, where we goin?" I asked through a bite of partially chewed sandwich.

"The mall."

I swallowed. "Yea? Quit bustin my balls, where are we really going?"

He raised his eyebrows and enunciated his words slowly. "The - mall."

"Why?"

"You'll find out, and ditch the sandwich before you get back. I don't want you getting shit on my baby's upholstery."

I went back inside and devoured my sandwich as fast as I could before changing into my clothes and hopping into Ray's truck. It was a green Toyota Tundra from the late 2000's with a luxury beige leather interior. His truck was in surprisingly immaculate condition considering it had survived two wars with Advent. Ray drove and Josh rode shotgun, Dan and I took the back seats. As we drove to the mall, my friends were relentless with their hazing, for not saying something to Tay and for burning myself, before Daniel changed the subject.

"...so what are you gonna do for I.A Day?" Dan asked.

"I don't know yet, vro, I don't even know if I have it off," Ray said as he drove.

"I don't know if I'm free either." I agreed.

"Come on, it's I.A Day. Everyone has it off." Josh remarked.

"Some of us like getting OT, Josh." Ray said.

"Man, you're just gonna spend it on some girl you barely know. Stay off the dating apps for a few days and let's do something." Josh said.

"Hey, that's not fair. I don't spend all my money on girls, I budget for it." Ray said to defend himself.

"Yeah, and I'm budgeting for a car; something I can take for a ride more than once. Divert some of your funds."

"Dude, you didn't have to go there. It's not my fault some girls just want a free meal out of me and the occasional one-night stand. I'll find a good chick someday, you'll see. Plus, I already got the nicest truck in the city, so what am I gonna save up for, a house? Yeah, right, the waiting list for those is a mile long."

"I just had an idea," Dan said, interrupting their squabble. "What if we all went to main street and celebrated with everyone else."

I looked to my left at Dan. "Come on, bro. Hanging out in a big crowd, that would suck. We'd get trampled before we'd have a good time."

He shrugged. "We've never gone though, maybe it would be fun. There's the parade, and the council gives a big speech, and then everyone dances in the streets. There'd be a bunch of girls there too, maybe you guys'll meet someone there."

"You can meet girls anywhere," I said.

"You won't meet them hanging out at home," Josh said, throwing shade at me from the front.

"Damn dude, who shit in your Corn Flakes," I said.

He turned back in his seat and clenched his fist. "Society shit in my Corn Flakes, Vince! Why do you think I'm a sigma male?"

"Because you're cursed with manlet genes that made you five foot six?"

He burst out laughing and couldn't contain himself.

Dan stifled his chuckles. "I'd have to agree with Josh on this one. Online dating doesn't have a high success rate, so you'd be better off hanging out at a grocery store than at home."

I chuckled. "I've got better things to do than hang out at a grocery store... Speaking of which, why are we going to the mall again?"

Ray spoke up. "It's killing two birds with a stone. "

"What birds, vro? The mall is boring."

"I know, the mall isn't the best, but hear me out, aight. You are now out of the house, and maybe you'll see a cute girl that'll make you forget all about Sammy and your fumble with the war criminal. Annnnd the food court is pretty solid."

I have been a little down in the dumps, maybe I haven't hid that well enough. "Really guys, I told ya I was fine. I'm well over Sammy, we only knew each other for a few weeks."

Ray looked at me through the rearview mirror. "Come on, dude, you're not pulling the wall over ol' raygun." He paused for a moment. "I know better than anyone the pain of rejection. I experience it almost weekly and it still kicks my ass. And, you, you're a novice to the game, so you got to be feeling like a sack 'a shit right now. I wouldn't be surprised if you were sleeping with that viper body pillow we got you as a joke."

I chuckled nervously. "Yea, wouldn't that be crazy... Alright fine, we can go to the mall and pick up chicks."

"That's what I like to hear. After today I'm sure you'll feel better."

"Uh, I will not be participating with the picking up of chicks, but I will happily be a wingman." Dan stated.

"Yeah, yeah, we know Bridgette is your one and— SHIT!"

Ray slammed on the brakes and I heard the squealing of tires. The inertia forced my face against Josh's seat. "Fuck! What's going on?" I said, half expecting someone to t-bone us.

Ray pointed wildly down the road. "Y-You see that asshole? Fucker just completely ran a fucking red light! I almost hit him! Probably playing a game on his phone or texting, all these retards are always doing shit other than driving their fucking - cars."

I looked up to see the back of a red car speeding off down the road to my right.

"Should we call the cops?" Dan asked.

Ray sighed as he drove through the intersection. "Nah, not worth it, they were gang bangers. I saw them all decked out in green, probably with La Raza or some shit."

"Well shit," Josh muttered, "guess we should just be glad they didn't shoot anyone."

"Yeah." Ray said.

The rest of the drive to the mall was uneventful. Ray found a good spot close to the entrance and parked his truck. As we walked inside I appreciated the Mall's exterior. It wasn't nothin fancy, just a tall square weathered stone building with windows at the top and a sign that said Water Tower Place. There used to be more malls than this one, but after Advent invaded and we won our independence, most commercial buildings were destroyed, repurposed, or dismantled for resources. But through it all, this building stayed together and most of the interior was kept the same. The City council considers it a historical site. A piece of our past that represented prosperity in excess, a symbol of hope that we might once again return to times of plenty, or whatever shit they said on the news. To me it was just a warehouse full of a bunch of overpriced crap I wouldn't want to buy.

We walked inside. A few shops were right in the entrance, busy with activity. The smell of food, as greasy as it was tasty, beckoned us further inward. My eyes caught the glint of fluorescent lights off the glossy stone floors and two polished granite pillars on either side of the escalators in front of us. There were lots of people walking in and out of the foyer. We went further inside, past the heart of the mall, the atrium. Which was an open circular area, lit by natural light from the windows above, with silver ribbons dangling from the ceiling. It was set up to show off all the levels of the mall and the four glass elevators in the center. We rode one of the elevators up a few floors before we found a comfortable bench to sit on and hang out.

"I'm surprised we could find an open bench. Business is booming today" I said.

Josh looked longingly at a coin shop across from us. "I wish I had some real spending cash, but everything here is always so expensive."

Dan chuckled. "Some people would think you ran an ancient Macedonian bank with how many coins you already have."

"I can't help myself. When I see cool shit - I buy it. It's a piece of pre-Advent history at a cheaper price than a new video game."

"Dudes, direct your attention to the lower levels." Ray said as he put his hands around his eyes like binoculars and looked over the ledge we were sitting near.

"Kay, what are we looking for, vro?" I asked.

He continued to look down with his binocular hands. "Chick, black leggins, blue coat."

Josh chuckled. "Found her, gah damn, what has she been eating? That's that fattest ass I've ever seen."

"Right? Do you think she shits with that thing?" Ray said, causing all of us to laugh.

I held back my laughter. "Oh fuck, look at that fat guy, bro's drinking a milkshake and walking into the cheesecake factory."

"That's probably the most exercise he's gotten all day." Dan noted, with a chuckle.

"Don't judge a book by its cover. Maybe he's holding that shake for a friend." Josh suggested.

"Maybe…" I said, sitting back down on the bench. "Alright, Ray, where's all these girls?"

"Hold your horses, dude... Bew ba ba bew. Hotties spotted - at - 12 o'clock."

"Where?" I asked.

"Shhhhh, don't make it obvious. If you act like a creep they'll never talk to you." Ray gestured to a group of girls walking past the coin store with his eyes.

There were about four of them and they seemed to be about our ages.

"Alright, I see them," I whispered to Ray. "What now?"

He held up a hand, "Wait and watch."

We watched them. The group of girls walked past the coin shop, and slightly further down before turning into a store called Ragstock.

Ray clenched his fingers into a fist. "Yes. All according to plan."

"What plan Ray? You've never made a plan in your life." Josh said.

"Oh, haven't I? I made one just as we walked in. Think about it, none of you asked why I decided we should sit here. Note the popular clothing store those girls went into, and how well positioned we are to wander in there and happen to meet them."

Dan rubbed his chin. "My, that's surprisingly clever, Ray."

Ray raised his eyebrows. "You guys really don't give me enough credit. Think about it, you can't approach girls out of nowhere without some sort of angle. No matter what I've tried, I always feel like I'm creepy if I just walk up to them and chat them up. We walk in there, act like we are browsing, then we happen to run into them and we've got something to start a conversation with that they're interested in: the store. What do you dudes think?"

I spoke first. "I'm game, but… so, like - what do I say to 'em? Ah, look at these jeans, what a deal… give me your phone number. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"I'm gonna make it real easy. All four of us are going in there, you and I will talk to them, Vince. I'll start the conversation."

"So, what are Dan and I supposed to do?" Josh asked.

"Just… act like you're shopping, and don't crowd the girls. It'll make 'em uncomfortable, might spook them too."

"Are we trying to talk to girls or hunt deer, vro?" Josh said with a chuckle. "Should I cover up my scent and paint my face?"

Ray got a serious look on his face. "It would surprise you how similar those activities are."

"Alright, so you get the ball rolling, Ray, that I am 100% clear on, but what am I suppose to talk to 'em about?" I asked.

"You've made friends before. Just talk to them about their interests, the things they like to do. Tell them what you like to do, it's not complicated."

I was still drawing a blank. "Give me an example."

Ray sighed. "Alright, so pretend you just met me, and I'm a hot girl with really fat tits." Ray cupped his hands in front of his chest to emphasize his imaginary tits. "We've been introduced already, what's the first thing you'd ask me?"

I scratched my head and shrugged. "Uhh, what video games do got on your steam library?"

His hands slumped to his sides. "No, see, it's good we did this. Never mention video games to a girl you just met. It's a gamble unless they're the type that does play games. But you've got a good chance of giving them the ick if you lead with that."

The ick? "So I should never let a girl find out I'm a gamer? That's not a relationship I want."

He shook his head. "No, no. I meant first impressions are important, you do not want to lead in with that. Girls read into the shit guys say way too much. Basically, if you lead in with you like video games, they're gonna overanalyze that and decide you actually said: I'm a shut-in who never leaves the house. Amigo, that's a bad idea. Try talking about any other interest. Movies and tv shows are ok. What do you like to do that you think may interest a chick?"

I tried to think of something interesting. "I did make furniture there for a while…"

His face lit up. "See, that's perfect. Shows you're handy and maybe a little artistic. You can work with that."

"Artistic, or autistic?" This question wasn't even a joke.

"Heh, artistic. Chicks dig creative types. That's why I learned how to play the guitar."

That was a terrible example. Ray barely knew how to play Wonderwall on guitar, and I was actually good at making furniture. But, I didn't have the heart to say that right now. "Ok, I think I got the picture. Let's go in."

"If you feel confident, that's what's important. But remember, you are going in there to get a phone number. Imagine this is a game and you've just gotten a quest to get a girl's phone number. Never lose sight of that goal and try to direct the conversation towards that. Does that make sense?"

"A cringe way to frame it, but yea couldn't be any clearer."

He slapped me on the shoulder, a spark of amusement in his eyes. "Then let's go and get you a future date, romeo."

All four of us stood up and casually made our way over to the clothing store. Before we walked inside Ray whispered, "Don't worry if you screw things up, dude. There's hundreds of girls in this mall, there's always plenty to try again with."

I nodded. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.

We walked into Ragstock. It seemed to be a used clothing store, and judging from the artwork and graffiti on the walls, it tried too hard to appeal to people my age.

The cashier, a bored-looking emo chick with a septum piercing and black hair that had green highlights, said "Hey, welcome to Ragstock," in an uninterested way.

We all mumbled, "Hey," as we browsed what was available. Josh and Dan looked at sweaters and Ray and I looked at the t-shirts close to where the group of girls were.

Ray poked me and whispered, "Ok, which one are you interested in getting to know?"

I looked over at the girls. "The, uhh... the blonde one. I guess?"

"Ok, watch the master work and follow my lead. When you see your opportunity, go and start talking to the blondie."

Ray kept browsing the clothes and slowly worked his way to a rack near where the girls were. He pulled a shirt off the rack and held it up. "This one looks nice. You girls see any good deals?

The group of girls looked at him and the brunette in a blue tank top said, "They're doing a buy one get one free on the t-shirts. What are you looking for?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure, I've never been in here before. Wandering around with my friends. You been here before?"

She looked at her friends and they all nodded, "Yeah, we, like, come here all the time. They always have good deals." She held up a pink shirt with flowers and the words Tax Evasion bedazzled on it. "You can't find stuff like this anywhere else."

He laughed. "Tax evasion? Do you even pay taxes?"

"Um, no, obviously because I'm thinking about buying this shirt." The other three girls giggled with her.

"Ah, yes. I should have guessed that. So, what are you girls up to today? Aside from not paying your taxes."

Ray kept jabbering away, enthralling the girls, or at least holding their attention by social obligation. It was impressive how long he could manage to talk about nothing, but now came the hard part: finding the balls to walk up and talk to that random blonde chick.

What could I even say to that chick? What should I say to her? FUCK, all those visual novels and dating simulators didn't prepare me for shit. God, he's still talking... Wait, that's perfect. I mustered what little confidence I had and walked up to the blonde girl.

She was wearing a green sweater and looked at me as soon as I got near her. I looked at Ray and back at her. "Heh, once you get him to start talking, it's hard to get him to stop."

Her brown eyes held a minimal level of curiosity in them. "Are you guys friends?"

"Yea, and I got two more lookin at the sweaters. I…" for a moment I was caught off guard by her looking into my eyes. Keep it together man. "My friends call me Vince. What's your name?"

"Makayla."

"Ey, that's a cool name..." Fuck, what do I say now? We're in the mall, I'll just start with that. It's what Ray did. "You, uh, here to shop too, or are you just tagging along?"

"I'm shopping. What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "I mostly came along to get outta the house. Nice to get some fresh air, ya know. Heh..."

A wall of awkwardness hung between us like layers of thick overpriced sweaters and it only got thicker as neither of us said anything.

Jeez, this girl is more introverted than me. "I, uh, haven't been to the mall in a while. I forgot how nice it looks."

She nodded. "Yeah, it is nice..."

She isn't givin me anything to work with. It's like I'm talkin to a fuckin brick wall. My frustration overcame my reluctance for a moment. "Not to sound weird, but I think you're cute." As soon as I said cute, surprise spread across her face and she looked down at the floor. "Would you wanna exchange - digits?" She kept staring at the floor for a few moments and said nothing. I think I broke her. I tried to make it less awkward. "It's cool if you say no."

She looked up at me and said, "Ok."

"Cool." My body experienced an adrenalin rush as we exchanged numbers. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. Was it really this easy the whole time? My confidence surged and the next thing I said spilled out of me. "You got any hobbies?"

She seemed caught off guard by my question and brushed some strands of hair out of her face. "Oh, uhh... I like to read."

"So you're into books, huh, that's cool. What kind? Fiction?"

"Yeah, I like to read post-apocalyptic novels. That's mainly what I read... post-apocalyptic novels."

"That's kinda on the nose."

Confusion spread across her face. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, I'm just sayin we've been through like two apocalypses ourselves. When advent arrived and the war of independence. It's interesting you'd want to read about it."

The confusion turned to determination. "That is precisely why I read it. The content is relevant to our situation. There's knowledge we could gain from studying the content within older novels. Maybe..."

"Hey, Makayla. We're gonna check out. Are you coming?"

She spun her head to look at the girls and looked back at me. "Sorry, gotta go."

I held my hands up. "Don' worry about it. We'll talk some other time."

She smiled at me and ran off with her friends. Ray walked up to me and slapped me on the shoulder. "Good work, dude. You were a natural."

I took a deep breath. "It feels like I'm gonna have a fuckin heart attack."

He nodded. "Yeah, that's the rush of putting yourself out there. It's fucking terrifying at first, but after a while, you learn to love it." He cleared his throat. "So, how'd it go?"

"Great. I got her number. She likes me, I think. I don't know if I need to get any more numbers today."

I saw pity flash in his eyes for a moment. "This is the part I was dreading to tell you, but you need to know the truth: getting a phone number from a girl is the easy part. Getting anywhere past the initial meeting is a hit or a miss..." He paused for a moment and watched the girls leave the store. "Did you text her to make sure the number was right?"

"Nnnno?"

He sighed. "Girls can, and do, give out fake phone numbers to get away from dudes, so don't expect her to respond to you."

What? "But, she typed my number in too."

"Speaking from experience, that doesn't mean anything. And even if that is her real number, she might never respond to you, and it's quite possible she might permanently ghost you after a while, if she responds."

"Vro, what? If you really think she's gonna do that, why did we even come in here?"

"I don't want you to get your hopes crushed when that happens, I'm telling you how it is so you can prepare. Maybe she's your future wife; I have no idea. Point is, we are fishing, we cast our line and we hope we get a bite. Sometimes the fish will get away, but the point is to never get discouraged because I will catch one someday."

"I? Ray?"

He rubbed the back of his head and laughed. "Sorry, I meant we. We will catch one someday."

"So, what now?"

"We look for another store, wait for more fish, and do it all over again."

"I don't know If I can do this again, man."

"It gets easier every time. Come on, Josh and Dan are probably bored."

We walked up to see the two were buying some weird-looking multicolored woven sweaters. "What are you guys buying?" I asked.

Josh threw his sweater on after paying for it. "They're called drug rugs, vro. They're comfy."

Ray laughed. "I can't believe you dudes actually bought something."

"I think they look quite stylish." Dan said as he put his on. "This hip fashion will probably impress Bridgette."

We left the store and walked around until we found another store. After sitting around we saw some girls go in, this time Josh took Ray's place. Josh got a number, but the broad I talked to wasn't interested. After doing this a few more times with some success, I needed a break, so we got some grub at the food court.

"Man, this pasta sucks." I said, poking at my spaghetti with my fork.

"Vro, it was 50 shills, you really thought it'd taste good?" Josh asked before taking a bite of his chicken sandwich.

"I dunno, it was cheap, but it smelled good. I thought I wouldn't have to choke it down. My Ma cooks better food for free."

Dan chuckled, swallowing a bite of his pretzel. "Maybe you should tell her to work there."

"Nah, she couldn't, cooking for my Dad is a full-time job. Dude eats like it's his last meal - every - day."

"That is surprising." Dan said. "I thought your Dad was really skinny?"

I nodded. "Yea, he is. Got a, uhh, a fast metabolism, I think… I can't take you seriously in that thing."

"What do you mean? I look cool."

I gestured to Dan and Josh. "You guys look like you smoke weed and listen to indie music."

Josh leaned over the table. "Who cares." He grabbed Dan by the shoulder. "It's not like we're going to a job interview in them."

Ray butted into the conversation. "Hey, Vince. There's a cute girl sitting all by herself over there. Why don't you try and get her number?"

I looked where he gestured. There was a girl with black hair sitting at a table and drinking an iced coffee alone. She looked completely absorbed in her phone. "I don't know, Ray. She kinda looks like she wants to be left alone. And I'm runnin outta gusto."

He nodded. "Alright, how about after we finish eating we hit one more place. I have an idea where we might find a weird girl for you, one that hopefully isn't an absolute ham planet. "

"A weird girl? What the hell do you mean?"

"Well, you're weird, so maybe you'd like a weird girl more than a normal one." Josh joked.

Ray nodded in agreement. "Trust me, dude. The place I'm taking you, the girls that go there might like it if you tell them you're a gamer."

That caught my attention. "I'm listening."

"Finish your gutter pasta and then we'll head over."

"Nah, fuck it. I'm just gonna toss it. You guys done eating?" I asked Josh and Dan.

"I'm good." Dan said.

"Few more bites and I'm done." Josh said.

Once they finished their food, Ray led us to the back of the mall and we came face to face with the iron gate of the mythical place that the "weird girls" visited.

"Hot - Topic?" I said, making it clear I was confused.

"Hot topic." Ray confirmed.

"Hot topic." Josh said.

A song by Linkin Park drifted through the iron spider web styled gate and fake braziers. "Ray, this store looks like a vampire sex shop. The font looks like something an edgy teenager would draw."

"Dude, I know. Looks can be deceiving. They actually stock some cool merch in there, and I can guarantee there's no vampire sex toys."

"So there's regular sex toys?"

"No, unless they started doing that recently... Look, I don't go in there all the time, like maybe once or twice I've had a look around."

Dan cleared his throat. "I think I read an article about Hot topic one time. This store has been around for a long time, it survived the arrival of Advent and this one has been kept in its original state. It's like a time capsule into 2015."

Josh butted in. "Ain't no way it's still the same store. You can't tell me the same motherfucker still owns it."

Dan scratched his head. "I believe someone bought the space after the war for independence and decided to keep the theme and sell the same stuff."

I wasn't all that interested in the history. "That's cool, I guess." Suddenly, something pink inside the store caught my eye. I walked over to the left, and what I saw I almost couldn't believe. There was a sectoid working in that store, but it wasn't the sectoid itself that surprised me, it was what it looked like. It was wearing mostly black, and from what I could see it was curvy like a chick. It's breasts were average and it had an ass and hips. I quickly rejoined the boys to report my findings.

"Guys, you are not gonna believe this."

"What?" All three of them said in unison.

I lowered my voice to a whisper and pointed in the store. "There is a fucking sectoid working in there. It has tits and it is caked up to the max."

This caught Ray's attention. "Sectoid with boobs? Awe, come - on! How come she wasn't working the two times I went in?"

I grabbed his shoulders. "You're missing the point, Ray. Why does it have tits? I've never heard of Sectoids having boobs, I thought they didn't have anything to fuck with."

Josh shrugged. "I've never seen or heard of that either."

The three of us turned to look at Dan who was sipping on a cookie shake. He groaned. "Why are you guys looking at me?"

"Dude, you know about these things." Josh chuckled.

Dan's cheeks reddened. "Yes, I have some knowledge on xenobiology, but I don't study their reproductive capabilities."

"So, what do you know then?" I asked.

He took a deep breath. "Yes, as far as I know, Sectoids can't reproduce, and they don't have genitalia. In fact, when Advent first landed on Earth Sectoids didn't even have mouths. Why one would have the sexual characteristics of a human female is anyone's guess. Perhaps she is an Advent experiment."

"They did it for muh dick." Ray suggested with a laugh.

"I've heard of variants with the aliens before, but I've never heard of a sectoid with tits." I said.

Josh had been quiet, and that was never a good thing because it meant he was scheming something. "Hey Vince, I'll give you 200 shills if you get the sextoid's number."

Dan facepalmed and shook his head. "Please don't call it that."

Ray's face lit up. "Duuuuuuude, holy shit, you have to try."

God help me. "Guys, I don't know…"

"Dude, you've been talking to girls all day. Just pretend the sextoid is just another girl and try to get its number. I'll help you."

Josh raised a finger. "Ah, ah, ah, you've got to do it alone if you want the 200 shillings."

"Fuck you, vro, I'm not goin in there alone. That thing'll melt my brain if I piss it off. I barely can talk to regular girls, let alone alien ones."

Josh grinned and waggled a finger at me. "Now, now, Vince. Let's not be xenophobic, she may be a very nice lady."

"I'm not like Ray - I can't just say whatever to her and ignore the threat of death." I said.

"If you don't act like Ray you won't have to worry about her threatening to kill you." Dan chimed in.

I scratched my chin. "You may have a point, Dan."

Ray laughed. "High-risk, high-reward, fuckers. That's how the Raygun rolls ba-byyyy."

We all laughed and I made up my mind. "Alright, fine. I'll get her number, alone. You better be good for those shills, Josh."

He held up a hand. "Scout's honor, you'll get those shillings if you come out with her number."

"Wish me luck guys, cuz I'm going in." I said as I walked towards the store.

I took a deep breath as I walked in. The song changed to some emo-sounding rock, while I looked around. There seemed to be a lot of video game and anime shit. A lot of printed t-shirts, posters, accessories, and crap lined the walls up to the ceiling. The lighting was darker than I was used to for stores.

There wasn't anyone inside, so the sectoid looked at me immediately. Its… her - face was a little different than I was used to seeing. She was completely bald, her head was large, and her skin was pink. In addition, her facial features were softer than I was used to seeing with Sectoids—and she had lips. The eyebrows above the black orbs that were her eyes looked drawn on, probably a way to make her face more expressive. Her features looked semi-human but without a nose. Kinda like Voldemort if he was pink and more friendly looking. I'd better not mention that if she knows anything about Harry Potter. She smiled warmly at me, showing off two rows of pearlescent humanlike teeth, and said: "What's up, welcome to Hot Topic. Ya lookin for anything in particular?"

Now that I was closer I could get a better look at her outfit. She was wearing a black shirt with a white sectoid skull on it over a black and white striped long-sleeve shirt. That skull shirt was a logo from that old turn-based strategy game Advent 2: Wrath of the Guerrillas. She was also wearing a black leather choker with a silver buckle.

Not that I had anything against Sectoids, but I never liked talking to them because of their eyes; you could never really tell where they were looking. She stared at me with those pupil-less black orbs expecting an answer.

"I… eh, I don't know. I've never been here before."

"Well, we have all kinds of things for all kinds of people here." She squinted her eyes for a second. "If you want, I could read you and tell you what you might be interested in."

I don't like the sound of that. "Read me? What does that mean?"

"Oh, ya know, read you, I'm psychic. All Sectoids got psionic powers." She gestured to me. "I can read your mind and tell you what you want."

If she reads my mind would she know why I'm actually here? Might actually be a Chad move if I let her. "I… uh, no thanks."

She slumped her shoulders and looked a little disappointed. "I understand. Most humans don't like getting their brains picked. Do you like anime? We have a good selection for that."

"I like Space Banditz."

Her face lit up, before it seemed like she was just providing good customer service, but now she seemed genuinely happy. "Excellent taste, I love that show. Did you catch the latest episode?" She didn't give me a chance to respond. "It was so freaking good. I love Jeanne-Monette."

"Yea, it was great. Jeanne's my favorite too." She seems like an alright broad.

She pointed over my shoulders. "There's some nice Space Banditz shirts over there if you wanna look."

"That sounds cool." I turned around and started to browse the store. Now I had to think of what angle to come at her with to get her number. Am I still just doing this for the 200 shillings? I looked through the shirts, there actually was a cool one, it was the whole crew in front of their ship with a space background.

It's not immediately obvious that it's from an anime, so I might be able to wear it in public, and it is pretty cool. Fuck, I wasn't supposed to buy anything, and this shirt is more than 200 shills, so it'd make this a net loss. But, man, I really want this shirt… I'm getting it. But now what do I do?

Suddenly she called out to me. "Find something ya like?"

"Uh, yea. I did."

"Well, don't be shy, bring it over so I can ring it up."

Fuck. Now she's gonna think I'm stealing. I need more time. "Okay." Why did I say that? Now I have to go over to her.

I walked back to the register in the middle of the store and set down the shirt. She lifted it up and examined it. "Ooo, great choice, I was thinking about getting this one myself."

"Y-yea, I thought it was cool."

She set the shirt down and kept smiling at me. "Well, if you saw anything else you liked, you can join our rewards program and get 25% off your first purchase. All I need is your phone number to sign you up."

Just say something. "Would you... Can I have your phone number?" That came out wrong.

I couldn't tell what emotion she was experiencing from her eyes, but her drawn-on eyebrows raised substantially. "Wha…"

"Uh, ehem, can I… can I have your phone number?"

Her surprised expression was quickly replaced with suspicion. "You want my phone number?"

"Yea."

She looked out the door and back at me. "Like, my personal phone number. So that we could converse by text or by call for fun?"

"Uh… yea."

She examined my face closely. "Why?"

Jeez, I feel like she's interrogating me. "I think you're, uh… cute." Her facial features were not off-putting, just exotic.

She squinted her eyes. "You honestly think that I am cute?" She looked down at her torso and back to me. "Me?"

"Yea, yes. I mean it." I didn't feel like I was lying, but at this point, I wasn't sure. I was up shit creek and I had to keep paddling.

She crossed her arms and gestured to me. "Who put you up to this? Is this some kind of joke? Do you have friends outside?"

"I do have friends that put me up to this, but it's not a joke. I… uh, I'm weird."

She seemed to soften up a little after I said that. "Well, if you're being honest, you won't mind if I read your intentions then." She touched her temple with one of her hands and reached her other arm out to me.

"Sure, fine. I don't know why this is so hard for you to bel—" I suddenly felt a strange sensation at the back of my neck, like fingers were daintily poking it. The sensation traveled up and to the top of my scalp. For a moment my vision darkened and all I could see was her, some sort of light purple smoke was flowing from her waving hand and coming towards me. My mind felt so clear in the moment, focused. Small needles poked into the top and sides of the surface of my head, but it didn't hurt. The sensation was almost pleasant, tingly in a way.

This went on for a few moments before my vision was restored and I was able to think again. I instinctively grabbed my head and backed away. My heart rate jumped and I felt out of breath. "What - did - you just do?"

She rested her hands on the counter. "I did some light mental probing to make sure you weren't lying. You said I could…" Her eyes widened a little, and she covered her mouth. "Oh, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry."

I stopped clutching my head. "Nah, no, fugeddaboudit, I'm fine. That was just a little weird, is all, I never experienced nothing like that before."

She relaxed. "Phew, you had me worried for a moment. You humies are usually pretty resilient to mental manipulation, but not always."

Humies? "You do this a lot?"

My question clearly made her uncomfortable. "I… uh, I used to. Is it weird if I say you have a pleasant aura?" She seemed eager to change the subject. "It was... enjoyable to experience."

"Thanks, I guess." I scratched my head. "I, uh, don't know what that is."

She giggled. "Well, without boring you with details: it's your vibe. Psionically, it's the energy field your body generates. It's an electromagnetic energy field if you want to get technical. You can tell a lot about a person by their aura. That's one of the things I looked at when I read your intentions to see if you were being genuine."

"That sounds cool."

She lightened up. "It is very cool."

"So, uh, what was the verdict?"

"Well, I know some things about you now. But, that depends, Vincent. Are you certain you want to be involved with someone that can read your mind?"

I don't think I ever told her my name. "Zure, you seem cool. Since you already know my name, mind telling me yours?"

"It's Thorn."

"That's actually kinda cool. Is that your real name or is it a nickname?"

"It's my real legal name." She giggled. "I can show ya my ID if you think I'm lyin."

"Nah, you don't gotta do that. I trust you."

She turned her head away from me. "You know, you weren't kiddin about bein weird. You are abnormal to be so relaxed now..." After she had paused for a moment, she looked back at me and raised her hands up in a distressed manner. "I meant that in a good way, it is a compliment. Before when you said I am a cute girl... it is flattering you perceive me that way. Not that I am not a girl; I am just not a human. I have no experience receiving this type of attention. I want to apologize for not believing you."

Guess I did mean what I said. "Yea, like I said it's fine. I feel fine now."

"Good. I should explain myself further and say I was only teasing about the mind-reading thing. It's not something I can do stealthily, well I can do certain things stealthily, but not what I just did." She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "Sorry, there I go rambling again. We can exchange numbers after you pay for that." She said, pointing at my shirt.

"Sweeeeet."

She scanned the shirt, as I looked down at my phone. "Hmm, that'll be 249.99... cutie. Can I interest you in joining our rewards program?"

I held back the urge to blush. "Uhh... no, I'm good for today."

After I paid we typed each other's numbers in our phones. She sent me a message to make sure we got it right. It read: "Hai :3". We said our goodbyes and I walked back out to the boys.

All three of them looked at me expectantly but said nothing. I held up my phone and said "Gentlemen, I got it."

They cheered. Josh didn't even look upset, "You earned it, vro." We bumped our phones together and transferred the money.

"Ey, maybe, she'll be worth more to me than a couple hundred shills... Well, I think I'm done talking for the day, I'm ready to go home."

Dan spoke up. "Hey, can we check out the game store before we leave? The expansion for Sorcery came out and I want to see if they have the new card packs."

I shrugged. "Sure, I can hang on a few more minutes."

We made our way over to the game store, but before we walked up to it we saw something strange happening inside. Two formally dressed men wearing dark overcoats were inside talking to the store owner: a fat guy with a receding hairline. The discussion became heated and one of the men grabbed the store owner by his shirt and shoved him back behind the checkout counter. As we stood there gawking at the scene the other formally dressed man stared back at us and frowned.

All four of us knew what was happening, we had seen it happen before and we knew why none of the mall's security did anything to stop it. We turned away from the game store and made our way to the exit. Only once we were in the truck and far from the mall did we talk about it.

Dan sighed. "I can't believe they were doing that in broad daylight."

I shook my head. "They're the fuckin mob dude, The Mob. They practically own that mall, they don't give a shit if a few bozos see them extorting protection money."

"I wish we could have done something." Josh said.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Yea, like what? Get ourselves beat the fuck up? Lotta help we woulda been."

Ray gripped his steering wheel. "Those assholes ruined this trip," He went silent for a moment, before grumbling, "there's no fucking law in this city."

"Lighten up, Ray," I said. "this shit happens all the time, I still had fun. Don't let those dickheads ruin the shmood we had going."

He didn't respond, he only sighed and started his truck.

We all lightened up once we had gotten away from the mall. We hung out at my place for a while watching movies before everyone had to go home. My day off was over and I curled up with my bodypillow for another lonely night. As I closed my eyes, my thoughts rested on the mall and the girls I had talked to; I was optimistic that might change. The next day my hand had mostly healed, so I was ready for whatever McDougall's threw at me. Hopefully not more boiling oil.

The walk to McDougalls was boring, and I was surprised to see there were no customers inside as I passed by the windows, but there were some cars in the drivethru.

I threw the glass door open and yelled. "What's good fuckers!"

Ash was working the register and looked up at me in horror. He mouthed something to me, but before I could translate I heard a shrill voice from the kitchen. "Who said that!"

A portly, mature-looking woman with short brown hair stomped out of the kitchen and scanned the dining room until her eyes fell upon me. She pointed one of her fat fingers at me. "You! I know it was you. We don't use that language here at Mcdougall's Burger Palace."

I bit my tongue. Judging from the stripes on her uniform she was a manager, and I had no doubts that this was the witch Ash told me about. "Sorry, ma'am."

"You'd better be. Now clock in and get on fries, we've got orders."

I just walked in the door. "Yes ma'am."

She didn't respond to me and went back into the kitchen.

Ash stared at me wide-eyed as I clocked in at the computer and whispered, "Duuuuude."

A nervous chuckle escaped me. "Surprised I didn't turn to stone when she looked at me." I said, walking over to Ash. "Was that the witch?"

"Yup, that was Michelle, the Store Manager."

"What's she doing here?"

He shrugged. "Manager shit, I don't know."

My mind felt strange for a moment and I got a feeling of déjà vu. "Is... is it weird that I feel like it's been 11 months since I've been here?"

He looked concerned. "Dude, what are you talking about? It's been like one day. You sure you're alright?"

"Yea, I think so... I'm a little tired, I guess."

I walked over to the fryer and started packing fry boxes for orders.

Tay was to my right, frying up burger patties. She pulled down the oven press and stared at me with her icy blue eyes.

"No snarky comments on my meeting with the GM?"

She snorted. "It might be surprising if you weren't such a dipshit."

"I... thought it'd be funny."

She smirked. "It was, just not in the way you wanted it to be." Her eyes drifted to my hand as I filled the fry baskets and dunked them in the fryer. She opened her mouth slightly as if she was about to say something, and then she turned away from me to start working on assembling sandwiches.

Conflicted thoughts bubbled to the surface of my mind like the boiling oil I watched. She looked at my hand. Is she too proud to admit she cares about it? It's so weird that she seemed worried when I got burned and now she's acting like it didn't happen. Maybe she thinks I don't care, maybe she's trying to not embarrass me. I have to say something to her, but what? Why do I even care, I bet she doesn't care at all... Fuck, I'm so bad at this. It's at least worth a try. "Hey, Tay." She stayed focused on her work. "Uh... thanks again for helping with my burn, and for vouching for my day off."

She wrapped up three sandwiches and slid them across the counter to where Ash bagged the orders. She glanced at me with a straight face. "Don't mention it."

I looked away from her for a moment. "It was nice, I... my hand could've been really fucked up if you hadn't stepped in."

She frowned and her tone was sarcastic. "Awwe, I'm so happy to hear that, dipshit, but I meant it when I said don't mention it. I did what I needed to do, and I don't want anyone thinking I'm soft. So, shut the fuck up about it or I'll stick that hand back into the fryer and shove it up your ass."

I had never in my life seen a broad get so pressed like that from a thank you. Stupid… stupid, stupid. I gotta be the biggest idiot in the whole city for expecting anything else from her. I sighed and muttered "Yea, heh, ok..." After working up the nerve to give a proper thanks, I had nothing left in the tank to snap back at her with.

My weak response seemed to catch her off guard; maybe she was expecting more of a fight from me. Maybe she wanted more of a fight from me. For a moment I thought I saw something creep across her face, possibly remorse? Nah, prolly just a trick of the light. She turned back to focus on her burgers without a word and I turned back to the fries.

I wasn't gonna let her bad attitude ruin my day. Instead, I focused on my job and making the time pass faster so I could crawl into my bed. It was a never-ending grind of frying fries, dumping them out, salting them, and packing them into bags and boxes. Right before I was gonna go onto my lunch, I heard the witch stomp out of the manager's office with Mark in tow. Mark looked especially tired tonight, and Carlos poked his head out from where he was washing dishes in the back.

Michelle cleared her throat. "Attention everyone, I have an announcement to make." Only once everyone was looking at her did she continue. "I'm certain you all are aware Independence from Advent Day is coming up. I know you're all making plans for that day as I am, however, make sure you plan around coming in to work that night. As you know, I.A day is one of our busiest days, and we'll need to be fully staffed."

I knew what was coming. My blood boiled, and I couldn't bite my tongue. "You're gonna make us work I.A day? That's inhuman, even when I worked construction we got it off."

She looked at me sternly. "You need to watch that temper of yours, let me finish first." She turned her attention back to all of us. "As I was saying, your shift has four people on it, and so you will need at least three to function on that day. Normally we would go by seniority for asking days off, however, I wanted to try something more fun this year."

Tay looked furious, she crossed her arms and snorted.

A sinister smile formed on Michelle's face as she excitedly revealed her master plan. "We're going to have a contest for it, so that everyone on this shift can have an equal chance to get it off. Whoever impresses me the most with their work ethic will get the day off. I'll let the lucky winner know a week before I.A day. Since I work during the morning shift normally, Mark will give me reports on you to help me decide."

Me and my coworkers looked at each other, I could see they all wanted it off as much as me. That meatball-shaped bitch, she's pitting us against each other, and it's already working.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Uh, yes." Carlos said from the sink. He continued when Michelle faced him. "Is that gonna be a paid day off?"

She shook her head. "No." Carlos' interest faded after she said that.

Ash spoke up "What do you mean by whoever impresses you the most? Give us an example of what we can do."

"Anything you do without being told that is outside your assigned job. Taking out the trash, sweeping the floor... things like that." She turned her attention back to us. "Any other questions?"

No one said anything.

"Alright, I'm going home. Have a good night everyone." She said as she walked past Tay and me out to the dining room.

Once she was out the door, Mark said. "I'm gonna be in the office a couple more hours. Let me know if you need help."

We all went back to work as he closed the door to the manager's office behind him. Most of the night went smoothly, I was slinging fries like a savant. I took my last 15-minute break and scrolled through #chan to see what was happening. As I was reading an interesting thread about what wars were going on between some of the city-states, I heard the door to the breakroom open.

When I looked up I was shocked to see Tay standing there. She slithered in the room and angrily shut the door behind her with her tail.

"Uh, hey." I said.

She crossed her arms. "Listen, dipshit, I'm going to make this quick. Michelle, that stupid bitch, has stepped outta line with this stupid contest of hers. She's trying to get more work out of us when she should just hire a new shithead for our team. I've always gotten I.A day off every year and I'm not about to let that change." She sighed and looked at me. "I don't want to do more work than I have to, so you are not going to participate in this charade of hers. I have the most seniority here, me getting the day off is what's fair."

The audacity of this snake. I chuckled. "Yea, great pitch. Good luck convincing Carlos and Ash."

She smirked. "They already agreed with me. Carlos would rather have the money and Ash doesn't care enough to fight me on this." She put her hands on her hips. "That leaves you... Alone. So, what's it gonna be?"

I put my phone in my pocket and leaned back in my chair, pretending to think it over. It was nerve-racking to be talking to her like this, but after what she said to me today, I knew my answer. "Well, you see I'm already making plans with my friends for that day, so that's too damn bad." Damn, that felt good.

She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot. I've worked here longer than anyone. You don't stand a chance, so why even try? You could make this so much easier for the both of us."

Yeah, you're not the only one who can be an asshole. "Don't care, didn't ask, plus you have no legs."

She looked dumbfounded by my response and sighed. "Whatever, dipshit. I'll enjoy watching you waste your time." She turned around and flipped me off as she closed the door to the breakroom.

I went back to browsing #chan like nothing had even happened. Once my break was over I finished out the night. Tay gave me a few dirty looks during the rest of my shift, but said nothing. So typical of her, all bark, no bite.

Eventually, I made it home, took a quick shower, and cuddled up with my bodypillow. Guess this meant war. I couldn't believe I had picked a fight with someone who was possibly a war criminal, but I wasn't about to back down from her. Hanging out with my friends meant more to me than her threats. She pulls anything shady, and I'll ring up Xcom to take her ass away like that. I looked over at Jeanne-Monette. I got so many numbers yesterday, maybe I could try texting some of them this weekend.