Vipers, Nights, and French Fries

by ThisIsARealAccount

The war for Humanity's autonomy is over, the alien despots of Advent have been overthrown by Xcom and a new age is on the horizon. However, world changing events do not occur without a price. Power vacuums were created in Advent's absence, their alien pawns, once completely under control, now have found their own autonomy. a young man, from humble beginnings, can NOT fix this.

6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I took a deep breath. One more shift, one more shift and then it's the fucking weekend. I can do this, I can get through this. Whatever she's got planned for today, I can handle it. The scent of grease and cooked meat wafted out of the kitchen as I entered McDougall's to start my shift. The dining room was alive with people chatting; eating burgers, fries, nuggets, and sucking down Dougall shakes and soda. I walked as slowly as I could to my station without making it obvious I was trying to be cautious. A moment of happiness passed through me as I nodded to Ash.

He returned the gesture. "Nice shoes, dude. Did you just get those?"

I looked down at the blue and black colored sneakers I was wearing. "Thanks. Nah, I've had these for a while, but this is my first time wearing them."

Ash was still easily the coolest dude that worked here. No contest.

Tay looked me up and down as I passed through the kitchen. Her eyes rested on my shoes for a moment before she turned around and went back to work. It only took a minute for me to throw them in my locker with my coat, and slip into my black pleather work shoes.

As I reached my station, the desire to stare at Tay clawed at my mind. Not because I wanted to see her ugly mug, but because I had the fleeting hope I could glean a hint of what she had in store for me today. Schemes she was cooking up, or ones she had already set in motion.

She turned to me, noticing my intense staring, and smirked. It wasn't any different than any other time she had smirked, but I could sense the sinister intent behind it. The contest was almost over, just one more day I think, but it was one more day she could pull some bullshit. I had nothing planned for her, I was tired, and I just wanted to get through this shift.

"Sleep well, perv?" She asked, scooping some cooked patties off the grill.

She's never gonna let that go. "I, uh... slept fine."

Her tongue flicked out quickly. "I'm surprised a freak like you made it another night without getting locked up." She sneered at me, playing off what she said as a joke, but her inflection revealed she was still mad at me.

It had been a week since I touched her snake titty... her snitty, and I still hadn't apologized. She probably deserved one, I felt it would be right, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. We were at war. Xcom never apologized to Advent during the rebellion. So why should I? "Yea, yea, guess I'm just good at not getting caught," I said while packing some medium fry boxes for an order.

She rolled her eyes and focused on working again.

I had been getting better with bagging orders. Ash actually told me yesterday that I didn't have to show him the orders before handing them out the window anymore. Customer service was never my strong suit, but I could fake it long enough to hand someone their food or take an order. Today, once again, I was mainly bagging orders. It was weird, but I almost felt proud of myself for being able to multitask while making fries. I hadn't been working at McDougalls for a super long time and here I was doing two jobs at once.

I'd box the fries for every order, wait for Tay and Carlos to get all the sandwiches ready, toss it all in a bag, and hand it off to the customer. Occasionally, I'd notice I slipped up while double-checking the order and I'd have to fix it, or quickly box the right size of fries, but I was kinda starting to feel competent at my job.

Tay kept the sandwiches coming, even when things got dicey with a backed-up line of customers. It was easy to see why she hadn't been fired yet despite being a huge cunt. It was that kind of well-oiled Advent war machine-like workflow I had been trying to interrupt all week so that she would get in trouble and I could get I.A. Day off.

She must have noticed me watching her work again, my focus was on her spatulas as she scooped patties off the grill. She squinted her blue eyes in suspicion. "Don't even think about it, asshole."

I couldn't hide the smirk that crept up on my face. "Whatever do you mean, bitch?"

Her brow furrowed slightly. "I'm not even gonna justify that with a response. I know you're thinking about greasing up my spatulas again."

"Damn, greasing up spatulas? That's a big accusation." I scratched my chin pretending to be in thought. "They give you 10 years in the slammer for greasing just one."

She snorted and turned away from me, making it clear she was ignoring me.

I looked back at my station and stifled a chuckle. I'm not stupid enough to mess with your spatulas twice. I'm more creative than that. Not that I'm gonna do anything today. It was funny to me that she was still hung up on that enough to mention it out loud. After all, I did it at the beginning of the week, Tuesday to be specific. I guess it was pretty good. As I stared at the bubbling oil in the fryer the memories of it floated to the surface of my mind like fries.

I had held off on interrupting her workflow at first because I knew that fucking with it would affect my work, but eventually, I realized I had no choice.

I remembered it like it was only a few days ago. I had been watching Tay out of the corner of my eye that whole shift, waiting for my moment to strike. That moment appeared almost three-quarters of the way through that shift after she had gotten caught up on a bunch of her orders.

She had slithered around the side of the sandwich assembly counter to tell Carlos she was going to the bathroom.

How the hell she used the bathroom, I didn't know then and I still don't have a clue, but I had worked around her long enough to figure out she was the sole girl in the whole world that only took a few minutes in the bathroom. There wasn't a chance that Carlos would've had to catch her up.

Once she was out of sight I initiated my plan. I had cleverly hidden a small glob of grease leftover from cleaning the night before in a plastic glove and taken it home with me. Using old grease in creative ways had really become a favorite of mine. City government did always say it was important to recycle. I pulled that glove from my pocket and made sure no one was watching before I quickly greased up the handle of every spatula Tay had sitting out. And I do mean every spatula, even the clean ones that were sitting on the side of the grill in metal containers. It was efficient to keep the grease in a glove and made it easy to not get grease on anything else. No one noticed a thing.

A few minutes later, Tay came back and worked on assembling sandwiches because she was still caught up at the grill. But, once we had gotten through that batch of customers, I specifically remembered seeing an order for a double quarter pounder onion griller burger show up on screen that would be her downfall.

She had put on a fresh pair of plastic gloves, threw two big patties on the grill, and pushed the press down. After the grill timer went off, she reached for one of the spatulas. It wasn't obvious right away that I had done something; she had actually managed to scoop up one of the patties before the spatula shot out of her hand onto the grill like a rocket. I couldn't have contained my laughter even if I wanted to.

She fumbled around trying to get it off the grill before the plastic handle melted. I remembered that white-hot glare she gave me, "Did you do this, dickhead?" She had asked me with an accusatory tone that implied she already knew the answer.

I shrugged in response, "Nah, 2nd shift must've not washed 'em so good. That was funny though."

I didn't remember what she had said, but I remembered she rolled her eyes in disbelief and reached for another spatula...

"Hey! Get your head out of your ass, dipshit. Your fries are burning."

Suddenly I was pulled back to the present by the familiar voice of my bitchy, villainous coworker. "Huh?"

I lifted the baskets up and sure enough they were too dark to serve. Well, Tay might've served them to people, but I held myself to a higher standard.

I heard Tay force a laugh as I dumped them in the garbage. "You sure you didn't stay up too late? Only a retard would burn fries while watching them."

"That's rich coming from you. You burn shit all the time. And who's to say it was an accident? Maybe I felt like wasting McDougalls money." I said, dunking a new batch of fries in the grease.

She held up a finger. "First off, no I don't." She held up a second finger. "Second, It's sad that's the coolest thing you've said since you started here, and it's about as true as the first thing you said."

I dismissed her statement with a wave of my hand. "Yea, yea, I don't care. Put your fucking peace sign away, you ain't peaceful."

Confusion adorned her face for a second as she looked at her fingers and put her hand down. As she turned away from the grill to assemble sandwiches, she spoke, mischievousness dripped off her every word and coated the sandwiches. "You know even though today is the last day to impress Mark and The Witch, it doesn't matter if you fuck up because you've already lost." My reward for even bothering to look up was witnessing the smug grin that had spread across her scaled lips and her stupid snake face. "You should use that as an opportunity to take it easy today."

I bagged the sandwiches as she passed them down to me. "That confident huh?"

"I don't need confidence to know I've done better than you. Just a matter of time before we hear it for real." She tossed onions on a fried poultry sandwich and gave it a few squirts of mayo.

"Yea, I bet the elders were pretty confident too… right up until the end."

Her demeanor changed for a split second, like I had slapped her. "Are you suggesting something?"

I sighed. "I don't have time for this right now, my fries are done."

Her brow stayed furrowed. "Be careful you don't oversalt them; wouldn't want another customer complaint." I heard her say as I dumped the fries in the warmer.

She's bringing that up now. I clutched the plastic fry scoop for a moment and took a deep breath. "That cocksucker deserved every grain of salt he got on those fries. I don't even care that I didn't do it."

She didn't miss a beat. "If he deserved it maybe other customers do, maybe more salt..."

"If any of my fries end up extra salty this shift, Tay. I swear to GOD you're gonna get salt in your eyes."

I could hear the satisfaction in her voice. "Simmer down, dipshit, simmer down. Are you really gonna cause a scene right now over that?"

She's been getting better at pushing my buttons. I didn't even respond to her, I just handed out an order and thought about those oversalted fries. Maybe she's right, maybe I am gonna lose.

It had happened two days ago. The shift had been going well, I was bagging orders and making fries like an animal, plus I had gotten Tay good by cutting holes in a bunch of the plastic gloves. She got so pissed she just threw the whole box away and got a new one. My good vibes had taken some of the edge off, and I wasn't ready for her retaliation.

At some point, I got an order for fries with no salt. Those orders always annoyed me because I knew it was most likely some dumb cocksucker that thought he was getting one over on McDougalls. Like yea, we gotta make new fries when you ask for no salt, but we gotta make the fries fresh anyway, dumbass. Two baskets of fries lasts like 5 minutes - tops - in the warmers before I gotta cook up a fresh batch. And anyone who actually couldn't have the extra salt shouldn't be eating fast food anyway. Anyways, back on track; so I get this order, I cook the fries, and I box them. I turn my back for a few seconds to help Ash with something and during that time Tay salted the fuck out of them. I didn't even realize it, I just handed the order out the door.

Just my luck, the one time someone asked for no salt it was for an actual reason. This bozo comes bursting into the dining area with his wife on a mission and starts yelling at us.

He had been wearing a button-up shirt or something, maybe he and his wife had both just gotten off work. I remember his face being so red I didn't even think it was possible, and his thinning hair looking like it just got out of a dryer. "Is this some kinda joke? Is this how you treat your customers?" He had said. "I asked for NO SALT! These fries have been rolled in salt! I have HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!" He held up a box of fries and tossed them, scattering fries all over the front counter.

While Ash was quietly listening to his complaint, pretending to be sincere, I, unfortunately, decided to open my big fat mouth, mainly because I thought at the time there was no salt on those fries and this guy was being an asshole, trying to get free fries. "If you got high blood pressure, why are you eating fast food and yelling? Shouldn't you be eating, like a kale salad, or somethin', and doin' yoga?"

I swear he had managed to turn a darker shade of red after I said that. He wasn't just angry, he was beyond angry. "W-where's your manager? I don't need lip from you BOY! You can't even MAKE FRIES RIGHT!"

I had half a mind to lay into him, but Mark saved his ass before I got a chance. "What is the issue here, sir?" He had asked professionally.

He seemed to calm down a little when he saw Mark. "I ORDERED a large fry with no salt. I GOT a box of fries completely covered with salt. Too much salt."

He nodded. "I understand, sir. That'll take only a few minutes. Vince, go make me a fresh box of fries."

When Mark looked down at me the anger returned to that man's face. "NO! Don't send him! That terrible employee of yours messed up my order AND he insulted me! He should be FIRED!"

"I will make your fries then, sir."

Before Mark turned around the man said. "Aren't you gonna discipline him? This kid insulted a customer!"

Mark looked between me and him. "I will discuss this with him."

I remember that man crossed his arms. He had looked so smug, so happy with himself and it pissed - me - off. It only pissed me off more that neither of us were to blame for that. I figured out it was Tay after Mark yelled at me and told me to treat the customers with respect. Tay didn't care to hide it, much like I had been doing. I really thought Mark was gonna fire me for that, but I guess he really was desperate for workers. Who knows, maybe I would've deserved it for "sassing a customer" with a valid question. I'd like to think he decided to never come back to McDougall's after that and I saved him from dying of high blood pressure. So maybe, in a way, I was a hero that day.

"...your food ma'am." I was back in the present, handing off an order to some woman, who spent a few seconds looking in the bag before driving off.

Once she was gone I heard Ash say something. "Hey dude?" He sounded concerned, and when I turned around to face him he looked that way too. "I get why you and Tay fight, believe me, but you both gotta take it down a notch. The customers can hear it every time you guys argue."

I sighed and shrugged. "Then tell her. She starts it more than me."

He looked away for a moment and shook his head. "I've tried, but she doesn't listen to me. She doesn't listen to anyone..." He paused for a second and glanced at me. "You don't have to listen to me either, dude. I'm just trying to look out for you. She ain't worth it man, just ignore her."

I thought for a few moments and shrugged. "I'll try harder, I guess, but she doesn't make it easy." I was just saying whatever I could to get him off my back.

Remembering how much I had gotten chewed out by Mark for those salty fries put me in a worse mood. I walked back to my station and assembled more orders. As I worked, I peeked back at Tay occasionally, checking on her to make sure she wasn't gonna try and fuck with me today.

I had been doing that for about an hour before I glanced back once more while hunched over the fryers and her massive tits were right in my fucking face. I almost accidentally shoved my face into them. It caught me off guard enough that I jumped a little.

Her hands were on her hips and her scaly brow was furrowed. "Stop staring at me, you freak." She punctuated her sentence with a tongue flick.

She never leaves me alone anymore. I looked away from her. "Oh don't flatter yourself. I'm just making sure you're not gonna pull any bullshit today. It's the last day before the contest is over and I'm just trying to have a normal shift."

There was a sparkle of satisfaction in her eyes. I could tell she felt like she was getting under my skin. "Suuuure, that's why you keep staring at me. You know, maybe if you actually talked to girls instead of staring at them all day, you might not be such a loser."

I felt a twinge in the back of my mind. "You know what, fuck you. I do talk to girls, and I've got a date this weekend. Maybe if you weren't such a bitch, you'd actually know things about your coworkers."

"Really?" She rolled her eyes. "If that's true, you should give me her number so I can warn her before you molest her."

"You..." I gritted my teeth. Ash was right, it wasn't worth it. I went back to work and ignored her. I don't care how many times she mentions that she doesn't deserve an apology.

She tried to pester me further but eventually gave up when I didn't give her a reaction. I saw an order pop up onscreen for a burger with extra pickles.

I poked Ash and whispered. "Yo, look. We got an order for a McPickler."

"I don't think even this dude would want that monstrosity." He chuckled as he grabbed a few sauces for a chick at the front counter. "So wild Tay messed up that order. I've never seen her fuck up a sandwich that bad before."

I waited for him to come back from the counter. "Yea, that was pretty crazy… You know, she might've had some help."

The color drained from his face. "Dude... what?"

I chuckled. "Come on, Ash. You really think she put an entire pickles-worth of pickle slices on a burger that should've had none and forgot the burger patty? How would anyone ever do that accidentally?"

His eyes drifted to the side to look at nothing in particular for a moment. "Look, dude, that is kinda funny, and maybe she deserves it, but, you gotta stop this, or it's not gonna end well for either of you."

I started bagging an order. "Yea, yea. I know, we just went over this. It's too late. I'm not doing shit today and it's the last day of the contest. When today's shift ends, we'll just go back to hating each other a more reasonable amount."

His tight-lipped expression made it clear he didn't believe me. "If you say so, dude."

The next few hours of the shift went by. Tay and I worked, and we both kept an eye on each other. There was a point where she got back from her "15" and looked really proud of herself, but I couldn't figure out why. Eventually, it was time for my break, so I went into the breakroom to get a cold slice of pizza from my locker that I brought as a snack.

As soon as I cracked my locker open, my nose was smacked with a sharp, tangy sweet smell. Ketchup? I saw the source of it once I pulled the rusty door fully open. My shoes were pristine on the outside, but their insides had been filled to the brim with ketchup.

I stared at my shoes, unable to move, unable to think. I was so angry I couldn't feel anything, then it began to hurt. The pure rage. It felt like a spider was crawling around inside of my head and stabbing my brain. It felt like my head was on fire.

She crossed a line. Why the FUCK would she do this! SHE FUCKING CROSSED A LINE! I'm gonna KILL her. It's one thing for us to fuck with each other at work, but these aren't my work shoes. I'm gonna FIGHT her. These are my NICE fucking shoes! That fucking stupid bitch! The last nice thing I bought for myself before I got laid off. I'm gonna get a gun and SHOOT her!

Only one thought was clear among the chaotic ramblings running through my head.

She isn't going to get away with this.

Rage dug its spindly fingers into every muscle in my body, tugging on them like the strings of a puppet. My hand reached for a shoe and grabbed it. My legs carried me out of the breakroom. My eyes located Tay. She was leaning against one of the metal counters, already looking in my direction with an expectant grin.

My voice shot out of my mouth. "FUCK YOU, TAY!" Then my arm pulled back and launched my ketchup-filled shoe at her head.

A few emotions played across her face when I did that. At first, she looked quite pleased with herself for making me this upset, then when I yelled there was a satisfying fleck of uncertainty in her eyes, and finally, a look of shock as she saw my shoe sailing through the air at her.

Like all vipers, her reflexes were sharp. Sharp enough that she managed to dodge the shoe, but not sharp enough to dodge the ketchup that flew out of it. Some catharsis flowed through my mind as the ketchup slashed across her, marking her with a thick gooey red line from her face to her chest.

The smell of ketchup burning on the grill brought me back to reality a little bit. My head felt clearer now. With that came a partial realization of what I had just done, but there was an overpowering feeling that it still - wasn't enough.

Tay's blue eyes burned with a mixture of hatred and shock as she looked down at her shirt, but changed to fear when she looked up to see me lunge at her. She dodged my attack, and I fell onto her snakelike tail. Before I got a chance to punch her, I heard a voice call out that turned my boiling blood into ice.

"VINCE, TAY! IN MY OFFICE NOW!" Mark yelled at the top of his lungs.

Tay and I looked at each other. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Neither of us moved, Mark's voice had frozen us.

"I said get into my office, now!"

I hesitantly stood up and turned around. Mark's face was as red as the ketchup on Tay's face. He didn't even look this angry when he was yelling at me for talking back to a customer. I got the feeling we were really in trouble.

Tay slithered and I wordlessly walked to Mark, almost side by side. It's so over… I'm gonna get fired for sure. I just got both of us fired. Tay went into his office first. As I passed through the doorway, it felt like I was walking into my execution.

Tay took a seat in one of the cheap plastic office chairs and coiled her tail around the base of it to take up less room, taking a moment to wipe some of the ketchup off her face. I sat down in the other one, closest to the door. Mark shut the door and plopped down in the chair across from us.

His brow was furrowed. The deep grooves in his face made his head look like a crushed soda can. He switched between looking at Tay, looking at me, and looking at the table. It was probably only a minute or two but it felt like an hour as we wordlessly watched him.

He took a deep breath before he finally spoke. "You two probably think I don't know what has been going on, but I do. And I'll admit, I made a mistake." He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and looked at the table. He spoke like he was thinking aloud. "My mistake was letting it get this bad. I wanted to believe that both of you could be mature. I thought you two might be able to act like adults and solve your issues on your own. But you clearly did not. I should have stepped in sooner; that was my mistake and I will learn from it."

Suddenly he became lucid and looked both of us in the eyes. "You two fucked up. When you are on the clock, you represent McDougalls. You are McDougalls' ambassador to the customer. If a customer has a bad time because of something either of you did, they might never come back. The food can be perfect, but if a restaurant has poor customer service, it will still fail. We have lost customers as a result of your behavior. We cannot afford to lose customers."

He scratched his chin. "These days, it's difficult to keep a restaurant open even if you have regular customers... It's difficult to keep a business open in general..."

Tay leaned over the table, gesturing to me wildly. Her eyes were burdened with dismay. "Vince started it, don't drag me—"

Mark lifted one of his burly arms, dismissing her assertion with a wave of his hand. "I don't fucking care who started it." He pointed accusingly between both of us. "You both participated in it. Neither of you are innocent."

He leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh before looking at Tay. "Tay, you are a senior member of staff. I expect better from you, period. Your years of experience are valued by us. You should be setting a good example for the newer employees, not picking fights with them."

Her head slumped as she looked down at the floor. Her tongue wasn't flicking, now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen her doing it very much when she talked to people. "But—"

Mark leaned forward and interrupted her again. "Tay. When Vince was giving you a hard time, you should have talked to me about it." He shook his head. "You already know this. We've had a similar issue before and you talked to me about it. And what happened? We solved the issue. You don't have any excuses."

Ohh yea. Finally, she's getting chewed out.

In an instant, his eyes darted to me. "Vince. Why are you antagonizing Tay? Do you harbor negative sentiments towards non-humans?"

I felt like a mouse being examined by a hawk. I shrunk back in my seat. "No, I… respectfully, sir. Tay is a sociopath. I'd have done all of this if she was a human too."

He shook his head. "And, because you think she's mean, that gives you the right to sabotage her work, and hurt McDougalls' bottom line?"

I didn't bother trying to defend myself, it would've just made me look worse.

"You should have talked to me about this too, Vince... Both of you clearly need a lesson in customer service. We could have avoided all of this fighting and bickering if either of you had just talked to me, or talked to each other. But neither of you did, so here we are…" He looked down at the table and sighed. "You both have put me in a difficult position."

He was quiet for a minute before he finally spoke. "If I catch either of you fighting ever again you're both going to be sent home for the rest of the day, without pay. If I have to do that three times, I'm going to fire both of you. Is that understood?" We both nodded hesitantly. "Good. Just do your jobs and don't talk to each other. It's that simple."

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Try to finish this shift with some dignity. Michelle and I have already decided who is getting the day off, so there's no reason for you two to fight anymore. We'll announce the winner..."

"You should just tell us who the winner is now, then," I mumbled.

Mark and Tay both looked at me. "What?" Mark asked.

Tay turned to look at Mark, with a solemn but determined expression on her face. "If you already have decided who won, you should tell us now. There's no reason to wait until Tuesday."

Mark mulled it over in his head for a moment and shrugged his shoulders. "Alright... Vince is getting I.A. day off."

He started attempting to justify it to Tay, but I didn't pay attention. I was in shock that I had actually won. I did it. I'm really going to get to hang out with my friends on I.A. day... I won't have to spend it slaving away here.

Tay suddenly shot up from her chair, taking me out of my thoughts. "I'm taking my break." She stated as she slithered out of the room, slamming the office door behind her.

Mark looked down at the desk, sighing once again. He reached up and scratched his head, just behind his receding hairline. The look on his face made it seem like he was deep in thought, he didn't even register that I was still in his office until I said something.

"Uhhh, Mark? Why did I win?"

He looked up at me and chuckled. "You won a long time ago, at least in my opinion. That day you cleaned the poop off the walls in the bathroom, I knew it was in there. I wasn't happy about it, but I knew I was going to have to clean it. And then you cleaned it without me telling you. That takes a lot of gumption, it's not easy to just go and do that. That really showed me your resolve; that you can do more than just taking the path of least resistance..."

He got caught up in praising me before he remembered what had just happened and furrowed his brow. "But don't think that excuses your recent behavior. Both you and Tay have acted unacceptably, and I expect better from you in the future." He gestured towards the door. "If you don't have any questions for me, you should get back to work, Vince."

I stood up and mock-saluted him. "Aight, captain." Before leaving his office.

It still hadn't set in that I had won, but even if I wasn't ready to accept it, it still made me feel great. Tay came back from her break smelling like weed and cigarettes. She didn't speak to me, or anyone else more than she needed to for the rest of the shift. It was like all her spunk had been drained.

I watched her for a few moments after I said goodbye to Ash and Carlos for the weekend. Her head seemed to hang low as she slithered off towards downtown. The skyline was lit with the triumphant orange glow of the rising sun reflecting off the grids of windows. Eh, she has the whole weekend to get over it and I have the whole weekend to relax.

0-

I stared at the pixels that formed Josh's sad Mario profile pic as I tried to hold my laughter in. "What do you mean, you cocksucker? Of course, I took a shower!" I shouted into my headset microphone.

Friday came and went, and now I was mere minutes away from leaving for my date with Thorn, the sextoid, as my friends had taken to calling her since the day we met at Hot Topic.

"I'm just making sure. Don't get your testicles in a twist." Josh joked. I could almost imagine an impish smile growing on his lips as the sound of him leaning back in his chair creaked through his mic.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dan's Archmage profile pic light up."I know he's joking, but hygiene is important, Vince. You should be looking and smelling your best on the first date."

"Yeah, and all those 990 shil burritos and that spaghetti he eats makes him greasy as hell. I swear I only had his best interests at heart." Josh said, attempting to smother a chuckle.

I slumped back in my chair and facepalmed. "If only Ray was here, he might actually be able to tell me something useful."

"Be yourself. There's nothing more to it than that." Dan offered.

I sighed. "Yea, cuz that worked so well last time with Sammy."

Dan clicked his tongue in annoyance. "If you can't act how you normally do around her, she's not worth dating. I've always operated with that philosophy and I found a girlfriend who loves me for who I am."

I rubbed my forehead and looked up at the ceiling. "You don't understand how lucky you are... but, you're probably right. Better she hates me right away than later on..."

"I don't want to hear that language, Vince." His voice was sharp as a knife, my self-loathing had set him off. "Don't be such a negative nelly. You sound like you're giving up before you've even met her."

I didn't feel like looking back at the screen. "I... I dunno... Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship."

"See, you are setting your expectations too high." He sounded like he felt he had put all the pieces together. "Why are you getting coffee with her? What is the actual reason you want to meet up with her?"

I thought for a few moments. "—tooo learn more about her?"

"Exactly. Relax. If you're not even friends yet, you're certainly not going to marry her after this. Focus on learning about her and having a good time."

I considered what he said. "Yea, you're right. I guess I'm just nervous."

He chuckled. "I guarantee she's just as nervous as you are. Just try to have fun, don't expect anything life-changing to happen."

"Aight, I'll try." I suddenly realized the other man in the call was being suspiciously quiet. "Anything to add, Josh?"

What sounded like crinkling paper came through on his mic. "Hmmmm? Oh, sorry, I was gooning and I didn't want to interrupt you guys. I agree."

"Damn bro, that Seeker hentai must be really good."

"Yeah, bro. I was watching the episode that featured your mom—"

Dan cut him off. "Alright guys, let's not discuss flying robot squid hentai any further. That's the last thing Vince needs to have in his brain before hanging around someone who can read minds."

I had almost forgotten about that. "Oh shit... Fuck, I'm gonna have to think about kittens or sandwiches or something. If I put off any weird vibes she's gonna know."

Josh snickered. "Just imagine her in her underwear if you get nervous, that's what they say to do when you give speeches, right?"

"I'm not even gonna respond to that, man."

"Oh, I just remembered." I could tell from Dan's voice he was eager to change the subject. "I'm sorry to say, but I might not be able to go to main street on I.A. Day."

Me and Josh both exclaimed "What!" at the same time.

"I know, I'm sorry. You see, my girlfriend's family is having an I.A. Day party and she really wants me to go..."

Me and Josh were quiet for a few moments before I said something. "It's cool, man. Josh 'n Ray 'n I are still a solid group." I tried to hide my disappointment. "Might be for the best, gets kinda wild downtown, especially during the yearly Xcom speech from the Commander. Girls pulling their tops off and shit, y'know."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry for cancelling, gentlemen, but I'll be around the day after if you guys want to game."

"Sounds, goo—"

Josh blurted, "Bro, you check the time?"

I had stayed longer than I wanted. "Ah, shit. I gotta go."

"Just remember, dude. If this goes well... I was the one that set you guys up."

I chuckled. "Sure, man. Talk to you guys later."

They both spat out "bye" before I disconnected from the call.

I ran into the bathroom and inspected myself in the mirror. Since this was casual, I decided to wear jeans and the Space Banditz shirt I bought when I first met her. I was feeling confident until I got a look at my hair. Fuck, my cowlick isn't laying flat.

I squirted a glob of hair gel in my hand, attempting to slick it back and comb it. After fighting it for a few seconds, I felt the gel harden and I was looking pretty good. Damn, I look good, hopefully it stays that way.

I didn't have time for anything else. I grabbed my keys, hopped in my car, and set a route to the coffee shop. I checked my messages from Thorn; it was a place called The Lounge Cafe. I only had nine minutes to get there, but luckily I knew my way around the city.

The drive was nerve-wracking. Every time I came to a stoplight I thought about turning around. I couldn't tell you why I was so nervous. Was it Sammy? Was it because I've only been on a few dates? Or was it because I was about to go on a date with an alien girl? It was anyone's guess. The anxiety hit me in waves, making me feel like I was suffocating at times.

Despite all of that, I made it to the parking lot alive. It ran along the road outside the front of the shop. I breathed a sigh of relief when I pulled into an empty spot and saw I was a minute early. I took a moment to get a few deep breaths in and examine the outside of the cafe.

It seemed alright, it was in a nicer part of downtown. There were some circular metal grate tables and chairs, comfortably veiled in shadow from the sun by a black striped awning above them that bounced in the wind. Above the awning, there was a white sign with black cursive text that had Lounge Cafe written on it. The building itself was made of red brick and had these big open windows. From what I could see, it almost looked like a library inside. The walls were stacked with books. Yea, definitely a nice place.

A couple of the tables were occupied; what looked like a group of four college students, and an old couple in the table across from them. They all looked like they were having a good time chatting.

I decided to wait in my car for Thorn to show up. I figured it would be hard to miss her, considering how bald and pink she was. I felt a little bad when I chuckled at that thought.

I waited for a few minutes and saw no one, I checked my phone and I hadn't gotten a text from her. A girl with long dark hair, wearing big sunglasses walked into the corner of my vision, but I paid her no mind. I just stared at my phone.

Maybe she already went inside. I thought as I looked up at the cafe.

Suddenly my phone buzzed. It was a message from Thorn.

I'm finally here. Are you running late too?

I looked up from my phone. I don't see anyone that stands out. Was she...

The girl with dark hair caught my attention. She was sitting at one of the tables alone, far from the other customers. She was wearing a black long-sleeved sweater and grey jeans. Her shoulder-length hair covered most of her face. She is pretty tall, for a girl, and looks about as tall as me. Her head does look kinda big, and her hands look a little on the pinker side. There's no way that's her, though. Is she in witness protection?

I sent her a message. I'm here too. Are you wearing a wig?

Suddenly the girl's head popped up and she scanned the area, when she looked directly at me I could make out some of her more alien facial features, mainly the lack of a nose. She waved at me.

I felt paralyzed for a moment. This was it, I was about to go on another date. Surely this will go better than last time... I waved back and took a deep breath before stepping out of my car.

As I walked up to her she hopped out of her seat and ran up to me. She was wearing a few silver necklaces that had different star and moon symbols on them. They jingled wildly with every step.

Her thin lips curved into a welcoming smile. "Heya, how's it going? Sorry I was late, hope I didn't keep ya waiting too long."

I shrugged. "Nah, you're fine. It was only a few minutes." I couldn't help but look over her outfit again, that loose black sweater she wore had a silver symbol of a crescent moon on it. It was cute but left a lot to the imagination. Her jeans, however, were nice and tight. "You, uh, look different."

She nodded and her smile got bigger. "Do ya like it? Almost makes me look human at a distance..."

Is this some kind of test? Is this one of those shit tests I've heard about online? "Uhh, yea. I almost didn't recognise you..." I couldn't see her eyes behind the dark sunglasses she wore, but I still got a feeling this wasn't the right direction to go in. "You... you, uh, didn't have to wear a disguise. I-I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you."

I felt this strange sensation in my mind like a burst of pleasant warmth had radiated from her. "Awwww, you are so sweet. Ya know that? Oh, I just can't stop myself from hugging you." She reached her arms out and wrapped them around me for a second before backing off. "Aaaaand I just remembered we barely know each other." She chuckled nervously. "Sorry. I'm a little touchy. I know some folk don't like that."

I was still in shock from what had just happened. Did she really just do that? I haven't been hugged by anyone in a long time. Well... aside from my Ma. "Uhhhh."

My inactivity made her even more distressed. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean t—"

I mustered all my strength to interrupt her. "No, y-you're fine. I, er, I'm just not used to, uh, gettin' hugs. Not a regular occurrence for me."

She tilted her head. "Really?"

I averted my gaze from her face. "Yea, y'know, I uh, we don't gotta get into that right now. Let's just leave it at, uh, I liked the hug."

I saw her smiling again when I looked back at her. "Okay," she said cheerily. "We should go in and get our coffee then. We don't need to stand here all day."

I'll ask her why she's so covered up later. "Sure, lead the way."

We walked side by side into the building, the lighting inside was darker than most places I'd been in. Gave it a moody vibe. There was quiet jazz playing on speakers in the corners of the room. The inside was a lot more bustling than the outside. Nearly all the wooden tables and booths were filled with hipsters. There were even a few hybrids mixed in among them and a green adder. Vipers were uncommon, I hadn't seen many viper variants in person.

When we walked up to the counter, the place started to feel more like a brewery than a cafe. The menu was a wide chalkboard that hung above the counter. There were so many things written on the menu, so many big words I'd never seen before, and everything being written in this barely-readable, flowing, elegant cursive didn't help me understand it any more.

The barista, some guy in his late 20s covered from neck to toe in tattoos with a beard and a curled mustache, looked at us expectantly. Anxiety pricked the back of my neck.

I poked Thorn and whispered, "Hey, uh, I don't get coffee that much. What's good?"

"Oh?" She raised her drawn-on eyebrows and clasped her hands together. "I can help. Do you want something cold, or something hot?"

"Hot."

"Hmmm, probably don't want to load you with caffeine since you don't drink coffee much..." She tapped her chin in thought. The barista crossed his arms out of annoyance at our deliberation but said nothing. "Do you like chocolate, or would you prefer something more milky?"

"I like chocolate." God, I sound like a retard. Haha, look at me I'm 12 years old, I like chocolate. I don't think there was a right answer there, whether I said milky or chocolate.

"You might enjoy a petit mocha." She suggested.

I scratched my head. "Pe-tee mocha? What the hell is that?"

Suddenly the barista spoke up, his voice was flat. "It's a small mocha. A mocha is like hot cocoa mixed with coffee." He punctuated his interjection with a sigh.

"Sure, sounds good. I'll take it."

The barista typed a few things on the register. "That'll be 67.50." He looked at Thorn. "And for you?"

As I paid for my drink Thorn rattled off her order. "Can I get a Grand Pumpkin Spice Iced Flat White?"

He nodded. "57.50."

Once she paid for her drink the barista got to work. He pulled out a couple of cups and started operating all this fancy machinery behind the counter. Thorn and I stepped back from the counter and stood off to the side about a foot apart from each other. I became entranced by the barista's work.

"This place is really nice, isn't it?" Thorn's comment pierced my thoughts.

I looked around the cafe again. "Hmm? Oh yea. Nice and dark... and quiet. I dig it."

She nodded. "I come here a lot. Those books they keep along the walls, you can read them. They're mostly fiction, but there's a few tables that have non-fiction next to them."

"That's cool, is this place a library or something?"

She shook her head. "Not really. You can buy some of the books, but they're mainly there for decoration."

This is headed in a good direction. "So you like to read?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Kinda, I guess. I read more graphic novels than anything. A lot of manga when I can't find the anime, or I can't wait long enough for the new season to come out." She looked up at me. "Do you like to read?"

Don't say anything about visual novels, don't say anything about visual novels. "Uhh, I don't read too many books. I play some games that have a lot of reading in them."

She looked up and tapped her chin. "Oh, like visual novels."

Fuck. I held my tongue.

She looked back at me with a smile. "I play those sometimes. Some of them can really pull you in."

Ok, maybe I'm safe as long as she doesn't find out which kinds I play. "Yea, kinda. I don't know if I'd call them visual nove—"

"Hey, you two. Your coffees are ready." The barista stated.

Saved by the fucking bell. "Thanks, dude." My small cup was styrofoam. Thorn's much larger clear cup contained a light creamy-colored drink that swirled around in it.

We grabbed our beverages and took a seat outside at the metal grate table Thorn sat at when she first arrived.

I took a sip of my mocha, it had a rich creamy taste, and the bitterness of the coffee fit with the chocolate. "Wow, this is good."

She giggled after swallowing a sip from her iced coffee. "I'm glad you like it." There was something more to her face, she seemed uncomfortable.

"Yea, I do. Thanks for the suggestion."

"I'm good at helping folks find what they like. I do it all the time at work." She said it proudly, but she looked down at the table.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

She looked up. "Hmm? Oh, I'm fine. It's just—" Her face scrunched up for a moment like she had gotten a whiff of hot garbage.

"Uh, are you sure?"

She sighed and nodded. "I'll be ok."

"...Do you want to talk about it?"

She rested her head on her hand and took a few sips of her coffee. "When you told me I didn't need to hide my appearance in public, that was really sweet of you, but I do try to cover up as much as I can when I'm out and about."

"Why do you do it? Are you worried about being stared at? I mean I wouldn't blame you if that's the case."

She shook her head, brushing some black strands of hair away from her face. "It's not what folk do so much that bothers me, it's how they feel."

This is starting to make sense. "How they feel? Is this, uh, an astrology thing?" She's wearing moons and stars and shit so it's gotta be that.

She tried to cover her mouth with her hand and smother her giggling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, I didn't expect you to say that."

I could tell I had said something stupid, but I tried to roll with it. "Ey, what can I say; I'm a funny guy sometimes."

She managed to stop laughing. "I am an astrologer, but that's not related to this."

She took a deep breath and looked down at the table. "Being psionic, ya know, it's almost like a 6th sense. I'm tapped into things other folk can't experience... which has its pros and cons." She turned her free hand over in the air. "One of the cons is, if folk feel negative emotions around me, I sense that. When they experience emotions, like fear or disgust, from my appearance, they are directing those energies at me. For me, it's like getting poked inside my brain and the stronger the emotional reaction from them the harder it is for me to ignore it."

The thought of someone hurting this sweet girl made me grit my teeth. "Who's doing that to you?"

She waved her hands at me. "Oh, no, no. It's not like that. They don't do it on purpose. Folk don't understand the effect their emotions have on me. It's really not a big deal." She must have picked up on my hostile intentions.

She looked back at the cafe. "I think a woman sitting near the entrance must have seen through my outfit, she can probably still see me through the window and that's what I'm feeling."

"Maybe we should go talk to her."

She shook her head. "No, no. I'll be ok, it'll pass. Ya know, I already feel it subsiding."

I tried to release some of my anger with a sigh. "It sucks that you can't even walk around outside without covering up so much. I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I really don't mind dressing up that much. It's fun for me. I actually do cosplay sometimes, so I see it like that. It's just better this way, for me and everyone else. I can't force them to feel a certain way about me and confronting them just leads to more negative emotions."

I took a drink of my mocha and stared down at the cup. "Yea wow, that really is a lose-lose situation..." I suddenly remembered something and looked back up at her. "But wait, if you have to cover up like this normally, why weren't you covered up at work?"

She chuckled. "Oh, that. My boss asks me to show my face off when I'm working. He says it attracts more customers. It does feel nice to not cover up so much sometimes, so I go along with it."

"Ey, that's cool. I mean, seeing you in there did make me want to go in, so I guess it does work." I joked, taking another sip of my mocha.

My joke made her giggle, but her smile faded as she rested her head on the table. "I'm sorry, this probably isn't very good first date talk. I... wanted to not share it, but I didn't want you to worry about me the whole time."

Did she call this a date? Oh shit, if we both think it's a date then I think that means it's actually a date. "You're fine. I mean, I was a little worried, but it's interesting. I don't know a whole lot about sectoids. I didn't know you... absorbed emotions like that. You made it seem more direct when I first met you."

She lifted her head slightly. "It's both, I can skim the surface without trying, and I can go deeper if folk let me." She sat up straight. "But, like I said, it's not all bad. I can feel good emotions too. I can feel what you're putting off right now."

Nerves began firing across my body and a chill ran up my leg. "And I'm feeling good, right?"

"You should know the answer to that." She giggled and waved her hand in the air. "You're nervous, but your intentions are genuine. I can tell you want to be here. You're a good man."

I looked away from her. "Are you sure? When you read my... vibe or whatever, at your job, you said it was pleasant. I don't know if anyone's ever said that about me. I, uh, I mean since we're sharing shit; I know I can rub people the wrong way sometimes..." I redirected my attention back to her. "I don't want to say you're a liar, but I don't know if I can believe it."

She took off her sunglasses and set them on the table, showing off the void orbs that were her eyes. "It takes a lot of courage to say something like that on a first date."

I felt strange when she looked at me, almost like I was being interrogated. Despite my inclination to avoid looking people in the eyes, I felt compelled to look into hers. "Well, it's something I've learned. I don't know how good you are at understanding people, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I don't want you to think I'm someone that I'm not."

She rested her head on her hand and smiled while gesturing with her other hand. "I spared you some of the details that day. Your aura is... well, to put it in a way you'll understand: almost prickly on the outside, sharp. But within is bright, colorful, and warm. Some folk cultivate that intentionally. For some folk, it just happens, but it's not uncommon. What I meant when I said you had a pleasant aura is that I liked the inner part. Who you are on the inside. Someday that inner part might blossom and break through the outside shell. Some folks call that self-actualization."

A lot of this felt like it was going over my head. "You sound like you know a lot about this."

She chuckled. "I do it a lot, it's a skill. I see a lot of folk with an aura similar to yours. I see how they struggle. My roommate has the same aura. I understand for folk like that, it's hard to share deeper parts of yourself with others."

"Man, this is getting kind of heavy." I joked.

Her eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, you're so right." She took another sip of her coffee. "You don't have to sit there and listen to me jabber all day. If you ever want me to stop, just say something."

"Hey, uh, I wouldn't call it jabbering. I feel like I learned something." I shrugged. "Well, what do you want to talk about now?"

She pointed at my chest. "How about your Space Banditz shirt."

I looked down at it and tugged it forward. "Yea, what about it? You notice it was the one I bought when we met?"

She nodded. "I did, and you're never gonna believe this." She suddenly stood up and grabbed the bottom of her sweater. My cheeks felt warm. I caught a glance of her pink midriff as she pulled her sweater up. "I'm wearing the same one."

I tried to laugh out some of my embarrassment. "Ha, so you actually did end up gettin' it?"

She nodded and pulled her sweater back down before sitting in her chair. "Yeah, I didn't realize we'd be twinning it up today."

"It's a cool shirt and a good show."

She tapped her chin. "What's your favorite episode?"

I didn't even have to think. "Easy, the season 2 finale. What's your favorite?"

We kept discussing Space Banditz. The whole time, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was entranced. I'm not afraid to admit I find Vipers to be attractive. However, I couldn't say I found Sectoid features to be as attractive. I never really thought there were sectoid girls, so I never really looked at them much. But the more I talked to her the less weird I felt. It was strange, I'd never hit it off this well with any girl before, much less an alien one. Then, she dropped a question out of the blue that caught me off guard.

She brushed some hair out of her face. "You've been staring at me a lot. Is it because you think I'm cute?"

Ah shit. She's feeling my thoughts or something. "Uhh, yea."

She took a sip of her coffee and spoke plainly. "You don't have to lie. I can pick up on your vibes, and not just 'cuz I'm psychic." She shrugged. "I know I look pretty strange to most humans. Uncanny valley is a phrase I see thrown around sometimes..."

I looked down at my drink and didn't say anything. This isn't going well. I'm just like everyone else, aren't I? I'm making her feel bad just for existing. God, I, why am I like this?

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad." I looked back up at her. She had concern written on her lips. "I'm trying to explain that you won't offend me."

She chuckled nervously. "Still not the best at communication, myself. Easier to use my mind..." She cleared her throat and looked down at her drink. "I like you, I want you to feel more... comfortable around me. So, go right ahead and ask me whatever questions you want. Ya know what, I'll ask a question first. What's it like to have hair? Like actual hair growin' out of your head?"

I scratched my head. "Uh, it's nice, I guess. Keeps my head warm. I have to wash it sometimes and cut it... So, I have to take care of it. Gets itchy sometimes…"

Her eyes were wide with interest. "Wow, that's fascinating. You cut your own hair?"

"Yea, sometimes. I'm not very good at it. I just do buzz cuts and let it grow out."

"Cool. Alright, ask me somethin'."

"Uh, I feel like I already have learned so much about you."

"Go on, ask me one thing, anything. I promise I won't be offended."

"Ok. Uhh, do you have pupils? Or is your whole eye just black?"

"That's actually a good question. I do, it's just hard to see them when we're not in bright light. Actually... here, let me—" She pulled out her phone and shined the light on it next to her eye.

Sure enough, I saw a pupil, but it looked much larger than a human's, and the rest of her eye looked different from a human's. "Woah, I didn't actually expect you to have one. That's cool."

She turned off the light. "Thanks. Hmmmm, what do you do for work? You already know where I work."

I sighed. "I, uh, work at a fast food joint. McDougalls."

"Interesting." She said that word, but the tone of her voice betrayed a lack of interest or surprise. "So you're in the same boat as me. Which one?"

"The one on 197th Street."

"Interesting." She stated again. "Do you like working there?"

"Eh, it pays the bills. The work's fine, but I've got this shitty coworker that's always picking fights with me. Makes it feel like I'm pullin' teeth every time I—"

She cut me off. "Heh, be-lieve me. I have heard enough about shitty coworkers. My roommate is having the exact same issue and I'll tell you the same thing." She took a sip of her coffee and tapped her head. "Folk are complex. There are so many layers, so much depth to individuals that you'll never see."

She smirked, and said, "Some of it you don't want to see—" before erupting into laughter.

I laughed nervously with her. "Amen to that."

She quieted her laughing. "But that is to say, you don't know what folk are going through. Fighting will only escalate things until something drastic happens. It's corny to say, but unless you hate each other for some... irreconcilable reason, then you could be friends instead. Have you tried being nice to your coworker?"

"Yea, initially, and she repaid me by being even more of an asshole." My voice was blunt and I tried to hide my frustration.

"Ya know, a lot of folks are like that because they've had a bad time in the past. Maybe your coworker is just like you, maybe there's a reason she acts that way. Maybe you should give her another chance to surprise you."

I chuckled. "You're really gassing her up even though you don't know her. I mean I ain't exactly perfect, but I at least try to avoid bein' an asshole to people who don't deserve it."

She shrugged. "It's the same thing I told my roommate. You don't know everything about her. I just... I see more of folks than they let on. Folk who are mean to me, I feel their pain. Sometimes there is no pain and they just don't like me, but sometimes there's another reason for it. I try to see the good in folks rather than the bad, even if it's buried deep."

I finished the rest of my mocha while she spoke. "I wish I had that optimism. I feel like I see the bad more than anything..." I looked her in the eyes. "But I'll try to take your advice to heart. I don't know... I don't enjoy fighting with her, it just feels like something I gotta do sometimes."

She smirked uncharacteristically.

I chuckled. "What, what are you smirking about?"

She used her hand to trace an outline around my body. "Your inner self is showing a little."

The rest of the date went great. We continued to chat about various things until she had finished her coffee too. We shared another hug before we agreed to meet up again. The drive home felt like pure ecstasy. I didn't fuck anything up, got not just one but TWO hugs, and she wanted to meet up again. Rizzler status: achieved.

What kept playing through my mind was what she had said about Tay. I was looking forward to Monday because I was gonna gloat all week about my victory, but maybe what Ash, Mark, and Thorn had all said about Tay was starting to sit with me. This was still a victory for me, and while she would have gloated if she had won, maybe I should be better. No one said I had to be like her. Maybe it was time to bury the hatchet.

She still hasn't tried to kill me despite everything, so the thought of her being some kind of Advent spec ops snek or blacksite guard wasn't that believable anymore. Thorn was right, I didn't know anything about her besides that she is mean. Maybe I should start saying nice shit to her to fuck with her. That might be funny.

Monday I kept things brief with her. We didn't talk much beyond what we had to say to one another for work. I chatted with Ash most of the time as usual. She wasn't even calling me dipshit anymore, which somehow made me feel like she hated me even more than before. On Tuesday I felt bolder. She didn't greet me but I said "Hey, you look nice today." Much to her annoyance.

Wednesday was much the same, we didn't talk much, but I greeted her by telling her "Your scales look flashy." She got mad at me that day and confronted me in the breakroom.

She had opened the door and shut it with her tail, offering me a stern look. "What are you planning? Do you think this is funny?"

I had shrugged and responded. "A little. What? Would you prefer it if I insulted you instead?"

She rolled her blue snake-like eyes. "If you did I'd at least know why. I'd prefer it if you never spoke to me again. Whatever you're planning, I'm gonna figure it out. So you'd better stop or I'll tell Mark."

"Tell him what? That I'm trying to be nice to you?"

She had crossed her arms after I said that. "Sexual harassment."

"Aight. So, what if I compliment things other than your appearance?"

She scoffed and left.

She had really gotten so pressed over compliments. If I had known that sooner, maybe I would have used that as a method to antagonize her. However, now, despite how mad it made her, I don't know… I felt like I had to keep doing it.

Thursday came and I told her "You've been doing a great job all week." to which I got no response. When Friday finally rolled around, I told her "I hope you have a great weekend" when we left. She didn't look back at me. I was kinda enjoying this weird sort of positive trolling.

My week had been surprisingly alright for once.

The weekend is when everything changed.

It came suddenly without warning. I was minding my own business, making a bologna sandwich when I got a text from Ray.

We need to talk. Was all it said.

When I got online to talk to him, he cancelled on our I.A. day plans and not long after Josh did too. They both gave their reasons, I didn't care. Their reasoning didn't matter. Course I was like "Ahh, it's alright I'll figure something out. We all have stuff that comes up." But I wasn't alright with it. I can't believe they did this!

I laid on my bed for what felt like most of the day and stared at the ceiling. I didn't know what else to do.

Everything I had done, all the scheming, the lying, the - subterfuge, breaking the washing machine, cleaning the bathroom, getting Tay in trouble for something she didn't do, almost getting fired...

It was all for nothing.

I felt like scum, like dirt. I'd never done anything like this before and now I didn't get anything to cope with what I had done. There was nothing to cushion the blow, just a cold dose of reality.

They couldn't even be bothered to get on tonight. They left me alone on a Sunday night. Not that it matters. Once I had to go to bed, I'd just be thinking about all this shit anyway.

I turned on my side and pulled Jeanne closer to me. "What should I do?" I asked her.

My Jeanne-Monette body pillow did not come to life and respond to my question, but I felt some comfort from looking at her smiling face and sizeable snreasts.

I sighed and reached for my phone before I realized something. Thorn! I still haven't planned anything with her. Maybe she'd want to hang out.

I opened up our messages and typed up: Hey, you doin anything on I.A. day?

I hovered my finger over the send button... but I just couldn't bring myself to push it.

She probably already has plans. I can't just force myself into her life like that. Maybe she wouldn't see it that way... Fuck! I can't, I-I don't know. She probably has to work anyway.

I set my phone down and closed my eyes. I didn't want to be awake anymore. That night I had a strange dream, I think Jeanne-Monette Stardust was there and we were driving somewhere on a purple moon. I don't remember everything she said, but I figured out what I needed to do. I just had to see if Mark would let me do it.

I didn't say anything to Tay when I came into work. I just talked to Mark about what I wanted to do and worked my whole shift like normal.

When we all left for the night I said bye to Ash and Carlos, then I tried to catch up with Tay before she left the lot.

"Hey, Tay! Got a second?"

She stopped slithering, faced me with an ice-cold glare, and said, "One," before turning around.

I ran around in front of her. "Ok, this'll take more than a second."

She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "What do you want? Come to gloat about beating me?"

"No, I…"

She groaned. "Hurry this up. I've got shit to do." Her tongue flicked out annoyedly.

I cleared my throat. "I wanted to ask if you wanted tomorrow off." She was completely silent and didn't react to what I said. "I talked to Mark about it and he said it was coo—."

She interrupted me with a stern. "No."

"No?" I can't believe this.

"Yes. No. You are not doing this. We both went through all this bullshit, and you won the contest. I don't need your fucking pity."

I tried to hold back my anger at her rejection, but I couldn't "Why are you such a fucking asshole every time I try to be nice to you? I'm giving you what you wanted, you should be happy."

She held her hands up to the sides of her face and gasped. "You're right, I'm sorry. I should be grateful you wasted my time with this stupid contest and got me in trouble. Only to just give it to me now." She looked at the ground and sighed. "What do you want?"

"What do you mean? I don't want anything."

She looked up at me and crossed her arms. "Really, you're giving me the day off just because you want to be nice to me? The girl you just called an asshole. My, how generous. Why should I believe that?"

I threw my hands in the air out of frustration. "Fine, I don't know. Fucking buy me a burger or something."

She gestured to me. "And there it is. You want a free lunch."

I held my hands up. "Look… I- I didn't want the lunch to begin with. I just said that so you wouldn't feel like you owed me, since you're clearly so concerned about that."

She shook her head and her tongue flicked out slowly. "You're the one that won. Just take the day off and hang out with your friends."

"See, that's the thing. That's why I'm offering you the day. All my friends flaked on me at the last minute. So, all I'd be doing is hanging out at home by myself." I sighed and looked at the ground. "I'd rather be at work so I can forget about it."

A spark of sympathy softened her cold eyes for a moment. "Oh…"

"For what it's worth, I figured, like you said, since we both put up with a lot of bullshit to get this day off... that it'd be better if the one who would have more fun had it off. If you've got plans with friends, or something, you should have the day off. I don't want to ruin someone else's night just because I don't want to work."

She scratched the back of her head. "I'm gonna level with you, dipshit, I don't have any plans with friends. I was just gonna hang out at home, listen to music, and smoke weed."

"Oh, I thought—"

Panic was in her eyes for a moment. "I have friends, I just didn't want to do anything that day."

"So, we both don't have shit going on."

"Yeah. You still want me to have the night off?"

I shrugged. "Like I said, I'd rather just work and keep my mind off of how boring my night is gonna be. It's yours if you want it, but you don't have to take it. And, you don't owe me anything for it."

She rubbed her chin. "You swear I won't owe you anything? Because if you try and turn this around on me, I'm just not gonna do what you say."

I nodded. "Yes, I swear."

"I'll think about it. Was that it?"

"Yea, that's it."

She wordlessly turned around to start heading home and so did I.

I had almost left the parking lot before I heard her call out to me. "Hey, dipshit!"

I turned around to look, and I could see her waving at me. I waved back."Yea?"

She cupped her hands around her mouth."Take care of yourself!"

"I'll try! You too!"

I chuckled to myself as I continued walking home. Thorn wasn't joking, Tay did surprise me.

I was surprised to see Tay in for work the next day. She told me she needed the money and didn't want to leave the team in a bad spot. Oddly noble of her. The shift started slow and ended slow. Everyone was out barbecuing their own food and hardly anyone showed up at McDougalls. A man actually stopped by and tried to buy buns from us because we were one of the few places that was still open. Mark sold them to him. Later in the night, I could see the fireworks show from the drive-thru window, so I stood there watching. Tay eventually slithered up next to the window to watch. She had crossed her arms and was leaning against the soda machine counter.

Dazzling bursts of blue, silver, and gold, brighter than the stars, lit up the sky. Crackles fizzled out and booms as loud as thunder shook the air. Fireworks were a rare treat for us and were shot off after the Commander gave his yearly speech.

"Fireworks look nice," I said.

She nodded in agreement.

I looked away from the fireworks at her for a moment. Every burst of light sparkled in her eyes. It was almost pretty. Maybe she was... "So, uh, does this mean we aren't enemies anymore?"

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Unless you want to be fired we aren't allowed to be enemies anymore, dipshit."

"True... true."

We continued to watch them in silence for a few minutes. I glanced at Tay for a moment, and she was looking at me. Her scaled brows were furrowed, not out of anger, but because she was thinking. Her pupils were like daggers, she was focused.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but before she could, Carlos appeared out of nowhere.

"What's good homies? How are the fireworks?"

As soon as he spoke she returned her attention to the show outside the drive-thru window.

"Greeeat, Carlos." She said.

He looked around. "Where's Ash?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Probably taking a shit."

I heard Ash yell from across the counter. "What's up, dudes. I'm back from taking a shit."

I treasured the few quiet moments I had shared with Tay, but it looked like that was over. The thought that maybe there would be more of those in the future made me smile.