18. AFRAID

After the baseball game ended, Beau offered to help me with the dishes. Obviously, I took him up on that - I mean, who wouldn't want help with chores? But the most important reason of all to me, the one that overshadowed the rest by a mile, was that it was more time I got to spend with him alone; more time I can pretend he was mine, even for a little while. I could have that much, couldn't I? After rinsing the soap off, I handed the wet plates to him to pat dry.

I sighed. "I'm sorry we weren't much help." And I really was. I knew he was pretty stressed, and we couldn't do anything about it.

"Hey, don't be. It feels nice just getting it off my chest, you know."

"Well, I'm glad." I looked back at him and took his shoulder. "Don't worry Beau, we'll be on the lookout. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise." I knew even when I said that though that he wasn't really worried about himself – he was only worried about Edythe. Of course. But I will make good on my promise, I vowed to myself.

"I'll drive you back." I offered, reaching for my phone on the kitchen counter to check traffic. I winced when I saw the report. "Actually, on second thought…" My voice trailed off and I flashed him a grin. "I'll take you there myself. Literally."

"So, we're doing this backroads-style, huh?" He laughed.

I nodded, chuckling. "Yep. My kind of nightlife. I promise you won't get eaten – probably." I shot him a half-smile, leaning back up against the kitchen counter. It was easy to be like this with him.

"I'll take my chances."

"Great. I'll meet you out front." I saluted him with two fingers and hurried back over to Mom.

"I'm taking Beau back home." I called from the hallway which led into the living room.

"Be safe."

"Always am." I kissed her cheek and pulled a quilt over her lap. It was going to get pretty chilly tonight and I didn't want her to catch cold. Beau and I waved one last time and walked out the door together while I locked up behind us. The sun was just beginning to set in over the tallest trees so the sky looked a hazy orange in the last rays of summer. Tossing off my pullover and leaving it on the porch swing, I phased and waited for Beau to climb on my back. Hold on. I said to him with my grin. He nodded like he really understood me. Pacing backwards a few giant steps, my hind leg revolved in the air, scraping against the turf of green below me like I was revving up an engine and I sped forth into the old-growth forest again, whizzing by hundreds and thousands of trees and hearing the snapping of twigs and branches beneath every stride I took until we reached the sliding backdoors of that familiar, looming white house. I remembered what Beau said earlier about being under house arrest and I could really see it now huddled under its massive shadow, making a black patch against the wilderness floor. A nice prison, sure, but a prison nonetheless. I helped him down off my back and gave him a little nudge towards the door, indicating I was waiting for him to go in safely – well, as safe as it could be with all those bloodsuckers hanging around every corner. I growled instinctively. I think Beau thought it was directed at him though, because he stopped and stared at me for a second, a small, troubled frown playing across his lips and made to apologize for whatever it was he'd thought he did but I stopped him with a sympathetic whine, my eyes growing bigger. He was smiling again now and he patted my back, giving my neck a scratch and it totally hit the spot. Soon, he disappeared behind those glass doors and just like that, he was a part of their world once more. When he was gone, I turned around and dashed through a clearing in the trees.

…

The next day, I woke up pretty early – the sun shone brightly through my slatted blinds but I knew it was still only morning. I glanced at my digital clock; the red letters inset on the black screen read 7:19 AM. Mom wasn't even up yet. Traffic couldn't be that bad right now so quickly I got dressed, tossing on a short black leather jacket over a white t-shirt and some old blue jeans. After downing a bowl of cereal and a swig of milk, I wrote a note for Mom and hung it up on the fridge, knowing she'd find it there. Locking the door behind me, I went to get my motorbike and set it up easily on the green of my driveway and revved it up, feeling the handles vibrate under my gloves with the electricity of freedom before I sped away. Exiting onto the main road, I cruised along the empty highway with my music at top volume, the pleasant roar of the engine filling up my ears and accompanying it. I looked out on the horizon which lay directly in front of me; at the brightness of the sun breaking through the sweeping, flocculent clouds which dotted the blue, windswept sky. It was moments like this where life didn't totally suck and I let out a contented sigh, feeling the fresh air revitalizing every hair on my head and every nerve-end in my body as a trill of excitement ran up my spine, and I knew I owed it all to one specific person.

Yes. I was going to be seeing Beau again.

When I pulled onto the stretch of road that entered in on the Cullens' place, I parked my bike carefully and eased myself off of the black leather seat. Hanging my helmet on the handle, I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling them through the knots which the wind had made in it. Pushing my bangs out of my face, I smiled as I walked up their driveway and situated myself on the wooden porch step. But behind the door, I heard someone arguing with someone else - a guy and a girl, I think, ones that I weren't so familiar with. I just stood there, debating whether I should knock or not but then the choice was made for me. Royal glared out at me from behind the glass but opened the door anyways.

"Hey, Blondie." I waved. He didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes before turning around and leaving the way he came. I stepped over the threshold and the arguing immediately stopped. As I passed the stairs, Earnest found me.

"Hey, Mr. Cullen." I showed him a polite smile.

"Hey, kiddo." he greeted, distracted, constantly peering up over his shoulder to the top of the stairs every few seconds.

"Bad time?"

"They'll behave themselves soon enough. We don't argue in front of guests, it's very poor manners on our behalf." he said with a warm laugh. I looked away. How he said that almost reminded me of my own dad, and it made me feel really weird just then. It... made me miss him.

"Is Beau up yet?" I asked, tugging my fingers. It made it easier to forget the sadness of my earlier thought; made it easier to put away.

Earnest nodded. "Third floor. Second bedroom to your right when you get to the top of the stairs."

"Thanks." I smiled. "Is Edythe with him?"

"She's with Carine and the other kids; they're in her office." His eyebrows furrowed and his gaze wandered around uneasily, like he was nervous – or, maybe even scared. For whom? It made me really curious.

"Did... something happen?" He didn't answer my question, only sighed again.

"I think Beau could really use a friend right now." He gave me a little push up the stairs. It was like he was practically begging me to go see Beau and he followed close behind me with a hand on my back, like he was my bodyguard or something. We got to the second landing. He pushed me even quicker past Carine's closed office door where the arguing voices from earlier were gathered and ushered me up another flight of stairs. He took my shoulders, gently moving me to one side of the hall as he came up to the bedroom door and knocked twice on it.

"Beau? Jules is here. She was just checking in." Footsteps came towards us from the other side of the door and it swung open easily. Just then, I heard Carine calling for Earnest and he left in a hurry without even so much as a goodbye. I turned to Beau again, still confused.

"Hey, Jules." His voice was soft; calm. But his eyes were darting nervously from one point of the house to another – after observing him do that a couple more times though, I realized the gaze always stopped right on Carine's office door downstairs. I was certain then in my conviction that something most definitely happened here today. Beau took my arm and scanned the hallway one last time, moving his head in a way that made his long brown bangs bounce up.

I gasped.

"Beau! What the hell happened to you?" My mouth fell agape. I've found my answer. Quickly, he pulled his hand away to cover his forehead with it and doing that darting-eye thing again, yanked me into the room and slammed the door shut behind us, pressing his back to it in order to catch his breath.

"I cut myself." Well. That explained the bloody pad of gauze taped to his freaking forehead.

"What exactly did you do?" I asked incredulously, eyes wide. "It looks pretty bad."

He sighed. "I poured myself a bowl of cereal, then I dropped it. I slipped on the milk and banged my head on the corner of the kitchen counter." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Why was that the most Beau thing in the world to do?

"Are you okay?" I asked, sitting us down on the chaise in the back corner of the room. I brushed his bangs from his forehead, touching at the bloodied bandages. He winced, and I immediately pulled my hand away.

"It's just a little tender, but I'm fine. Trust me. Carine stitched me up."

"Um, okay." I said, nodding very slowly. "And, where exactly were your in-laws - not to mention your wife - when all this happened?"

He sucked a breath in through his teeth. "Well, Earnest, Jessamine, Royal, and Eleanor weren't home yet. Arch was out buying some more milk - I finished off the last carton - and Carine was on the phone with a patient." He shrugged, but I noticed a key figure was missing from the narrative he was relaying to me - Edythe.

"And what about your vampire girlfriend?" I asked, pressing my lips together so they formed a hard line.

"Wife." he kindly corrected me.

"My bad."

He looked away and sighed.

"Well, she was hiding out in her room." he said, putting a strange emphasis on the word "was".

"And, what do you mean by that?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, she was only in her room… trying to stay away from me. For my own good, or whatever."

Or whatever?

"God, Beau!" My voice came out louder than I intended it to when I remembered how Edythe was acting yesterday, and it didn't take long for me to connect the dots. His fear, his unease... so she did have something to do with this after all. "She was trying not to kill you. Don't you understand that? Don't you know how dangerous she is? Don't you see how badly this could freaking end for you? Do you even care?" My voice shook.

He didn't say anything.

"You're so stupid!" I said the words through my teeth but instantly regretted it. He looked at me like he was a kicked puppy, those big blue eyes of his so wide, so pulsing. So… fragile. I thought he was going to cry. I let out a breath, pinching at the space between my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Beau. I didn't mean it like that." I took his shoulder, squeezing it a little.

"No, Jules. It's just that I- I-" he stammered, looking up towards the roof. His eyebrows furrowed and he gnawed at his lip, hesitating. He brushed one hand over his mouth, like he didn't want to hear the words he was about to say out loud. "What I mean is… after I hit my head, there was a loud bang, like when a door flies open and the handle whams into the wall. And then I thought I saw – something. A shadow. It almost looked like it was, I don't know, crawling on the roof like in some freaking horror movie-" his hands shook in front of him as he described the scene. "And then, the counter… there was this huge "thud" on it and I looked up to see what it was." He covered his eyes with one hand.

"It was Edythe."

Oh.

He took a sharp breath. "She didn't – she didn't ask me if I was okay or anything like that, she was just crouched there, right on top of the counter staring at me. And - and her eyes - they were so…black. And it was like she couldn't even see me; like I wasn't even there in the first place." He looked at me, his eyes wavering. "She – she hopped down off the counter and came up to me on all fours and I just froze. Her movements were almost… jerky, I guess? She came and brought her face right up to my neck-" his cheeks were white now and he covered his throat with his hand, so petrified by the memory of his fear and I just wanted to hold him; tell him everything's okay.

"And then… she just stopped. Kissed me on the cheek instead. It was only then I heard her asking me if I was alright. She dabbed at the blood with a paper towel and called for Carine, and you could tell how scared – terrified – Edythe was because her voice was shaking so much, and she just kept apologizing and apologizing; over and over again asking if I was okay." He took in another sharp, slow breath. I put my hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to continue.

"Jules, you don't understand – that was the first time ever in my life that I was actually afraid of her. I was afraid of Edythe."

A part of me had always suspected something like this would happen one day, but it was strange to hear him say it out loud. I guess that's what all the commotion was about, then.

"That's what they're arguing about, isn't it?" He nodded at that. I clenched my jaw tight.

"I'm getting you out of here." I said and rose to my feet, snatching up his hand in mine. He didn't budge.

"Hey - stop that, Jules." He yanked his hand away.

"I am literally trying to save your life here. You said yourself that she scared you. You admitted it."

"But I'm not so scared of her as I am for her, Jules. That's the difference. Something's really, really wrong with Edythe, that much I know. And I need to figure out what that is. But trust me when I say this, Jules – no matter what, I know she won't ever hurt me."

"Well, that story you just told me begs to differ."

"Don't worry about it, Jules. She'll get it all back under control. Carine's going to get some blood bags from the hospital."

"You mean, human blood?" Wow, wouldn't my mom so love to hear that.

"It was donated, so it's not like anybody died or anything like that. So, there's no foul." He shrugged, biting his lip.

"Whatever you say, Beau." I sighed, sitting down again. It was useless.

Be careful. Just please be careful, Beau.

He loved her too much. That was what hurt and frightened me the most. Him loving her so much and so completely, beyond reason, beyond a shadow of a doubt, even when it just might kill him. And I could do nothing about it.

I looked away.