Chapter 19: Chaos Everywhere
"WHAT!?" Héctor's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets.
Miguel jumped back.
"Qué pasa?" The shoemaker stuttered.
The night guard, who had been hiding in one of the bushes by the house, poked his head out. "The whole town has gone goofy!" he snapped. "That's what! It's like that last love epidemic all over again!" Then he squatted down back into the bush, shaking.
Curious, the shoemaker stepped outside on the stairs followed by his nephew and dog. They looked to the left and then to the right.
Indeed, all the mismatched couples were serenading each other and dancing around down the street.
Héctor was startled to see Emilia Visconti pleading Sideburns to plant a kiss on her lips. Well, looks like he wouldn't have to worry about his mother marrying him off to her anymore. Even if her new lover was way out of her league.
Miguel's face scrunched up in disgust at seeing Lampwick kissing Alice. He also saw Wendy being carried off by Peter Pan in bridal style. "Whoa, I thought Peter would never like her back!"
Dante looked confused at seeing his dog friend, Tramp nuzzling with a white cat. ' I didn't know Tramp was into mollies.' the animal thought, tilting his head in confusion. It also jumped at seeing Puff the white poodle nuzzling with Muta the cat. 'Aye Caramba! That's crazy!'
He sensed his feline friend appearing to him by his side. 'Have you seen anything like that before, Pepita?'
'Not at all!' Pepita answered as she stood next to him.
The gangster, the prophetic man, and the little girl had rushed out to see what the fuss was about. Like their guests, they were in for quite a shock.
Mirabel was feeling apprehensive. She was startled at the sight of the Gross Sisters being chased by an all-boy gang, the Alto brothers. The girl looked at the boy in his red shirt and black trousers.
"People are acting mushy-gushy!" Miguel replied. He referred to some skinny girl in pearls chasing an overweight boy with glasses and a bad case of acne.
"Venga ya!" Imelda quietly exclaimed, her hand over her mouth. "See what happens when love is thrust upon the universe?" She almost spat the 'L' word as if it were a vulgar one.
' Actually, this is what happens when people mistake love for obsession,' Bruno thought but knew better than to say so aloud. In the past four years, he had tried to explain to his mistress the difference between healthy love and unhealthy love. But the concept of those two differences made no sense to her, as she had never seen other couples displaying healthy marriages, not even her parents.
In front of the observers, the lovesick couples were singing the same bouncy and upbeat song which sounded like this:
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your love)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)
"Got me hoping you'll phone me right now, your kiss"
"Got me hoping you'll save me right now"
"Looking so crazy, your love's"
"Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love!"
"Mira, mira!" Imelda said, pointing her finger to her left. "I think those are your kids." Everybody followed her finger. Behold, Isabella, and Dolores were engaging in some kind of a tug of war as they pulled Abel.
" You need to give it up," Isabella rapped as she pulled on Abel's arm.
"Had about enough"
"It's not hard to see"
"The boy is mine!"
"I'm sorry that you," Dolores chorused, tugging on the big boy.
"Seem to be confused"
"He belongs to me"
"The boy is mine!"
" If I only could decide," Abel lamented while singing.
"But I can't make up my mind"
"I'm breaking all my rules because of you"
"You can tell me it's not right"
"And it tears me up inside"
"But the problem is I'm so in love with two!"
Luisa J. and Mariano both came waltzing down the street. They were both singing very loud.
" Dancin' in the moonlight!"
"Everybody's feelin' warm and bright"
"It's such a fine and natural sight"
"Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight!"
As they were doing the Charleston, two other mismatched couples appeared on the street. One was when Camillo came down dancing with some Italian girl. Another couple was Rosa and Alberto.
" When the moon hits your eye"
"Like a big pizza pie"
"That's amore!" Camillo serenaded Giulia.
"When the world seems to shine
"Like you've had too much wine"
"That's amore!" Alberto sang to Rosa who sighed so romantically.
"Bwahahahahaha!" Miguel laughed, pointing at them.
"Oh no!" the shoemaker cried. "This is bad, very bad! Just like Andres!" He put his head in his hands. "What am I going to tell their parents or Abuelita?"
"I'm sorry about your kids," Imelda said, her voice sounding sympathetic, for once. She stroked his head a bit, trying to offer some comfort.
"Rosa has a novio!" Miguel teased, in a sing-song voice. "Abel is a cake-eater!"
Héctor lifted his head and glared daggers at his nephew for saying such things about his cousins.
"Watch your tongue Chamaco!" he scolded. "You know better than that!"
"But it's funny!" Miguel grinned, cheekily. He perked up when he saw the two girls were now chasing his primo around a tree. "Hey, l have an idea!" the boy joked. "This would make a great vaudeville act! Let's sell tickets so everybody can watch Isabella and Dolores fight over Abel!" He began giggling. "Or watch the others do mushy stuff!" Then his giggles turned into laughter. His amusement ceased when he noticed that his uncle and the Princesa de Mafia were giving him very stern and disapproving looks. The same ones he got from his Papa and Mama or Abuelita, whenever he misbehaved. "Sorry!" the boy squeaked, sheepishly.
Just then, all the lovers began crooning the same chorus out loud.
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your love)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)
"Got me hoping you'll phone me right now, your kiss"
"Got me hoping you'll save me right now"
"Looking so crazy, your love's"
"Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love!"
Upon seeing her sisters, Stephanie opened her mouth to call out to them. But she felt a tug on her short sleeve, which prevented her from speaking. The 12-year-old girl lifted her head to see her uncle shaking his head with a sorrowful expression. Her heart sank like a stone. How could she forget about her silent vow? She was so used to talking inside that she forgot that she couldn't talk once she stepped out of the mansion.
"Abel! Rosa!" Héctor called out to them. "No estás enamorado; ¡Estás bajo un hechizo! Camillo! Mariano! Girls! Cut it out!"
"Got me looking so crazy, my baby" The lovestruck teenagers sang.
"I'm not myself, lately I'm foolish, I don't do this"
"I've been playing myself, baby, I don't care"
"'Cause your love's got the best of me"
"And, baby, you're making a fool of me"
"You got me sprung and I don't care who sees"
"'Cause, baby, you got me"
"Baby, you got me (you got me so crazy, baby), hey"
"Stop the music!" Héctor yelled again. "Stop the music!" Unfortunately, his voice was drowned out by all their singing. "¡Para la música!"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's (oh love)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (lookin' crazy)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (baby)"
"Got me hoping you'll phone me right now, your kiss (hey)"
"Got me hoping you'll save me right now (oh)"
"Looking so crazy in love's (hey)"
"Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love (whoa)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your love)"
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch"
"Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)"
"Got me hoping you'll phone me right now, your kiss"
"Got me hoping you'll save me right now"
"Looking so crazy in love's"
"Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love!"
Abel quickly grabbed Dolores by her hand and danced the foxtrot with her down the street.
Isabella scowled and chased after them.
The other three lovesick couples continued to dance down the street, farther away from the gothic mansion.
"Abel! Camillo! Mariano! Girls!" the shoemaker shouted. "Oye vuelve! ¡Vuelve, vuelve!"
"So much for show business!" Miguel grumbled to himself.
"Let's not just stand here; let's fetch Mariano and our kids!" Héctor suggested. The young man was eager to go out and pull them all into the mansion. Sure, putting them in the same house as the gangster might be risky but it would protect them from causing other damage.
"No," Imelda said, putting her hand on his arm. "They will resist and fight you. Just like Andres did."
"But Imelda-"
"The safest way to fix this is to give them the antidote."
"Can't we just wait for Natalia?" Miguel questioned. "She should be here with the potion by now."
Just then, the old night guard tugged on Héctor's arm.
"Hey, is she an amiga of yours?" Chicharron asked, referring to the blonde woman standing next to him. He had gotten out of his hiding spot to close the gate door in case the love-crazed people tried to get in. That was when he found the woman who wanted to speak with Hector.
"Natalia!"
The Irish-American woman pulled out the slightly big pink bottle out of her pocket.
"I got the love potion!" Natalia happily cried.
"Shush!" The shoemaker quickly silenced her. "Quiet or else the police will hear you!"
"Quickly, in here!" Imelda urged, motioning them to come inside.
"¡Gracias Chicharron!" The shoemaker hastily whispered, tipping him a quarter, before following the others indoors.
Dumbfounded, Chicahrron studied the shiny silver coin. He bit on it to see if it was fake. Nope, it was real. A small smile slowly formed on his rough and dried face. "Maybe I should do night duties more often."
Once everyone was inside the mansion, Natalia triumphantly showed her friends the pink bottle that she had retrieved. "Ta-da!"
"No manches!" Miguel exclaimed. "You've got it!"
"Oh, this is great!" Héctor beamed. He put his hands together and looked up to the sky as if he were thanking God for watching over him. "Andres is saved, Frida is saved, we're all saved! You know what this means, chamaco?"
"We get to go home now?" Miguel asked.
"You bet!" Hector smiled, ruffling his nephew's hair.
"Yay!"
"Now it's time to say goodbye to all our hosts." He turned to the dark beauty and handed her the potion. "Well, Señorita Imelda Benita Acosta Sanchez, thank you for letting us into your humble home, but now we have to leave. We'll take Frida, Andres, Juan, and Stephanie-"
"We're staying here," Bruno firmly interrupted him. He put his arm protectively around his niece, who also nodded sternly.
"Amigos, por favor, come home with us!" The shoemaker urged.
"We are staying here!" Bruno repeated, his voice sounding firmer than before.
"But your family misses you!" Héctor persuaded them.
"Yeah, right!" Stephanie scoffed.
"It's true!" Miguel insisted. "Tu Mamá y Papá-"
"¡Tienen otras hijas a las que amar y preocuparse!"
"But Stephanie-"
"Let it go, amigos," Natalia interrupted him. "We can't force them to come back if they do not want to."
Héctor and Miguel both sighed. They had pleaded with them to come home with them but their friends were very clear on their decision.
"Very well, then we'll just fetch Frida and Andres from their rooms, and bid you thank you and goodbye.' The shoemaker decided. "Well…Gracias y Adios!"
"¡Buenas noches!" Miguel saluted.
The Irish woman, the shoemaker, and his nephew took one step forward toward where Andres and Frida were.
"Wait a minute," Imelda frowned, as she studied the bottle very carefully. She pulled Héctor back by the neck of his collar who let out a comical yelp as he fell backwards.
The gangster caught him in a dip as if they were dancing.
("¡Niños y niñas, tápense los ojos!" Bruno whispered quickly to Miguel, Mirabel, and Natalia.)
The gangster stroked her fingers from the shoemaker's bangs and traced them down to his goatee. Then, slowly, Imelda brought a bottle to her lips and took a sip. "Hmmmm…," she murmured, relishing the taste. She opened her eyes and gazed deeply into the shoemaker's eyes. Then, she put the bottle in his mouth and began to feed him like a baby.
Héctor wondered if he was dreaming. He shivered under her touch and his eyes were focused on her lips. What's happening? Was she making him fall in love with her? He should be terrified that someone was using the love potion on him. He should be panicking and calling for help. But for some reason, he's not scared. Didn't she make herself fall in love with him? For some reason, he felt secretly pleased that his mouth was in the same spot where her lovely mouth had been. He could tell because he saw her purple lipstick mark. Eyes closed, he relished in that. Perhaps falling in love with the deadly but beautiful mafia wouldn't be so bad. So taken by her beauty and seduction, that it took a while for his brain to process what he was drinking. "This… tastes like lemonade!" When he opened his eyes, the man was lifted back to his feet by the mafia. Other than naming the favor, Héctor was surprised that he didn't feel anything nor did he break out into a silly love song.
"That's because it is lemonade, shoemaker," Imelda spoke slowly and softly. Her voice held a hint of disappointment. After she pulled her guest up, Imelda turned and glared at Natalia. "Not a love potion." Swiftly, the gangster threw the bottle at the blonde woman who ducked as the bottle crashed into the wall. It shattered into many pieces. "Are you trying to trick me, gringa?"
"What, no!" Natalia squealed.
"You rotten woman!" Imelda inched toward the frightened blonde woman.
When the children uncovered their eyes, Mirabel gasped while Miguel and Dante darted around the room, looking for someplace to hide. Which was a big German chest.
But before Imelda could strike her, she felt someone grabbing her hand in mid-air.
"Wait a minute!" Héctor protested, gripping her hand.
"She tried to trick us, shoemaker!" Imelda spat.
"No," Héctor shook his head. "Natalia would never do that."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know her well. Now Por favor, let's hear her out. I'm sure she has a good explanation for this."
"She better or else I will clobber her!"
"Do you always treat your friends like this?"
"She's not my friend, idiot!"
"D'oh!" Bruno slapped his forehead and groaned silently to himself. 'Oh boy, this is not going well!'
"Was Bruno right about his vision?" Oscar whispered to Felipe, feeling doubtful.
"Right or wrong, we got to make this work!" Felipe whispered back. "¡Ese zapatero es nuestra última esperanza!" He and his twin continued to watch their sister and her suitor, curious to see how their fight would be resolved.
"Listen," the shoemaker said, firmly. He took the gangster's hands into his, which surprised her. "I know you are upset, but we'll fix this. Just hear what Natalia has to say; she must have a reason."
"What if this trick was done on purpose?"
"Then let me punish her. Just don't slaughter her, okay?"
Imelda breathed out a long breath out of her lips. "Fine!" she grumbled. "I won't slaughter her. At least, we still can ask Frida for the antidote."
"One more thing! You could've told me it was lemonade right away."
"Would you believe me if I did, shoemaker?" The gangster purred. Imelda did feel a bit guilty for playing the role of a vamp. She's not the type of girl who uses feminine wiles to get things her way. Then again, she felt a rush of joy flirting with him.
"You are right on that one," Héctor blushed. He didn't want to admit it but her seductive smile made his stomach do flip-flops.
"Of course, I am," the gangster winked at him.
"Miguel, Dante," Stephanie gently whispered, knocking on the chest. "You two can come out now,"
The chest door was slowly lifted and revealed a boy who was shivering as if he had been out in the cold. His dog looked equally scared as he was whimpering.
"Is the fight over?" Miguel asked, cautiously.
"Sí," Mirabel answered.
The gangster scowled when she made eye contact with the shaking blonde woman. "So gringa-"
"Natalia," the shoemaker corrected her. "That's her name."
"Natalia, what happened?"
"Well…," the blonde woman nervously answered. "It all started when Gloria and I came to the bar…,"
Author's notes: Well the bad news is that everyone is in love with the wrong people. The other bad news is that Natalie brought the wrong bottle. What's the good news? Well...our brave shoemaker says they will fix this. It also looks like our hero and his nephew will be staying at Imelda's mansion a bit longer than planned. What songs do you recognize the lovesick characters singing? Will our heroes find the antidote?