In Our Own Time

by dreams as light as feathers

Falling in love is never easy. Choosing to love is even harder. Being in love doesn't mean you let go. Feeling in love doesn't earn your trust. We had to find out if our love was real. We had to believe we were enough. Looking back on it, it was inevitable. We just had to figure it out in our own is story follows the Canon Timeline each chapter falls in-between canon events.

14. Chapter 14 February 12 to 15, 2013

33.

to cut

and cut

the heart

another weapon

I can use

Its pointed sharp edge

the very tip of desire

pierces you

brings you to the

ecstatic red of the cut

and the blood

that is love's last moment

to tarry and sup together

in remembrance

when angels speak of love by bell hooks

Blood Upon the Snow by Hozier

Wednesday, February 13, 2013 - Midnight

Bonnie lay in bed eyes wide open. Ears straining to hear everything. She was beyond alert and hungry for sleep. She sighed feeling her chest tighten around her hammering heart. Nothing felt worse than the painful uneasiness clamped around her throat.

She swallowed bile and tried to keep her thoughts from traveling to earlier that evening. Turning on her right side facing the fireplace, she closed her eyes and focused on the sweet crackles of the cedar log. The sounds of the blaze only reminded her of the searing misery within.

She turned back to the left and her eyes landed on Damon's cameo. Her stomach dropped. Swallowing down her sickness once more she lay on her back feeling tears heating the corners of her eyes, threatening to jump proving that there was no escape from her feelings.

Defiant yet still hopeless, she threw off her covers and got up pacing before the fireplace again. The room was hot but she could find no other way to vent her emotions. She threw in another log and channeled her volatile feelings into it, heating the room to nearly unbearable levels. Yet, it still could not match the intensity she felt inside.

Finally, the log split in half and she thought it best to stop. The exercise had tampered her anger, but the sorrow remained. Bonnie went to the nearest window and pulled up the blinds to put her face against the glass wet from condensation and steam. The heat had not fully reached the window, and thankfully the cold winter wind had begun to pick up. Her face cooled quickly her heart blistered.

She could see a light snowfall spiraling onto the russet cobblestone streets of the university. They were sleek from the first fall of melted snow, but soon they would ice over. Bonnie allowed the beauty to engage her, to distract her from the worst of her feelings. The tears came anyway, falling down her cheeks like melted snowflakes on the windows of her dormitory.

Her mind was spiraling and she had no clue when she would find the ground. She was tired of feeling everything but didn't know how to stop. The worse part was she didn't even understand why she felt the way she did.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 - Morning

Bonnie could remember the dream only vaguely. She had it several times before in the Prison World but the details were always hazy. She remembered sitting at a diner and Caroline's static-ridden voice could be heard over the old TV, announcing the pending eclipse. Stefan was by Bonnie's side and she was irritated with him for some reason, and she was sure it was because they were talking about Damon and Enzo. However, she was more irritated that they were mentioning Damon as if they weren't supposed to.

She could barely remember the conversation but Stefan was asking for her help. He wanted to use the eclipse to get his brother back. However, she had to remind him she did not have her powers. To which he simply said," Your mother knows a way to use magic without magic."

That wasn't even the strange part of the dream. She had seen Damon, two of him in fact. One was bloody holding a heart in his hand, the stuff of her distant nightmares, and the other was older, holding Mrs. Cuddles and smiling at her.

Every time, she had that dream she woke up longing to see Damon again. Now that she was out of the Prison World she could see him. She could sense his soul in the kitchen, probably making breakfast like he had a hundred times before. However, this time he wasn't alone, Elena was with him.

Damon and Elena were alone together in the kitchen. It should have been exciting having the clear confirmation that she was no longer alone and no longer in the prison world. However, instead, she was met with gnawing pain itching at her brain the way it had before she stepped into the water fountain, the tub, and the garage.

Bonnie took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. She held it for a second releasing it all at once but the pain still clung to her eyes. Her usual pensive pacing in front of the window was no longer helping her process things. Desperately she put her hand to the window, then her face, letting the stinging cold shock her out of it. The pain of the cold was comforting for a moment. Sighing deeply, she felt the Salvatore broach jiggle faintly against her sternum. Absentmindedly she noticed a black shadow fly by her peripheral.

Bonnie was afraid to see Elena, mostly she was afraid to be alone with Elena and Damon. She had done everything in her power to return from 1994 with no regrets, yet she was being torn apart by guilt, shame, and dread.

Simply, put she could say nothing happened with Damon. No one cheated, but that wasn't to say that things weren't sexual or even dare she say it romantic. Adding to the fact they had accidentally touched lips yesterday evening, and well it was a shit storm waiting to happen.

The only consolation she had that things were going to go smoothly downstairs was her hope that Damon was not going to say anything. Bonnie knew he wouldn't do anything to seriously jeopardize his relationship with Elena. But that made her feel conflicted because maybe things should be jeopardized. Not because she wanted things not to work out with Damon and Elena, but because as Elena's friend, she should let her know that her boyfriend although in love with her was willing to fuck another woman out of boredom.

But it wasn't always boredom, was it?

Bonnie's mind filled with at least a baker's dozen moments when things with Damon weren't exactly platonic. The things between Bonnie and Damon had never been normal. There was a chemistry there, in fact, it had been there longer than she could remember. Hatred had held it at bay and getting to know each other only seemed to make it worse.

Yet still it was never a serious thing, they always had Elena as their boundary. They respected that, so there was no point in telling Elena because she was the very reason nothing happened. Plus that would mean Bonnie would have to cop to her involvement.

Damon wasn't alone in their little game of cat and mouse, and Bonnie could think of times when she had pushed passed a boundary and Damon had taken a step back. In fact, if she were honest it was her fault things got so weird in 1994 in the first place. She was the reason they even had a "song," and from then on things had gone downhill. But it was all over now, and all those weirdly emotional moments and feelings that kept her together during her time away would become distant memories. She and Damon would stay friends, or better yet just become cordial acquaintances that only tried to kill each other at every other friend gathering.

Who was she kidding, she couldn't see herself not being his friend anymore. Their time alone had changed them irrevocably. Damon was always meant to be in her life in some capacity, that was a fact. Whether it was a villain or a friend, it did not matter, but now she knew it and no longer needed to fight it.

Last night had also proven that they could despite incredible amounts of awkwardness, overcome those little habits they had grown accustomed to. They could choose to be friends. So regardless of the tricky situation they had created, they could unmake it. Today, she would play the role of supportive best friend to Elena and confidant and ally to Damon.

Removing her face from the now foggy window, she wiped off the condensation from her cheek. It was time she went downstairs and dealt with things. If she were lucky, she wouldn't stress out, and she would just be happy to see her best friend happily in love with her boyfriend. It's what she had always wanted. Suddenly, acid shot from her stomach and seemed to jump into her veins and throat.

The smell of pancakes was unwelcome, as she slowly walked down the stairs into the foyer on the way to the kitchen. Bonnie could smell the severely burnt butter and she knew the pancakes would basically be inedible. She sighed, hearing the radio blaring loudly from the kitchen, she couldn't quite make out the song yet but it sounded familiar.

Bonnie finally reached the kitchen and she recognized the familiar high hat and snare kick in. Aliyah's first words from track five of her One in a Million album came crashing in just as Bonnie rushed through the room, "If your girl only knew…"

Sliding into the room a la Risky Business and to the stereo, she popped the disk out putting in the closest CD available. Thankfully, she had grabbed Stefan's Boys II Men CD. In hindsight, she knew it probably looked suspicious but it wouldn't have been as suspicious as Bonnie trying not to sing to and make eye contact with the both of them while the song played.

"Good morning, guys. I hope you don't mind I wasn't really feeling…" Bonnie finally turned around to see one hell of a sight. Damon was holding Elena protectively while she was on the counter. Although his intent was to cover Elena from her gaze, it was poorly done, Bonnie could see Elena's bare shoulders and the top of her chest. Bonnie didn't know how to react she just kind of stood there, while the two sorted themselves out.

"I told you she was up Damon," Elena growled, pushing him off her as she buttoned her shirt.

"Come on, like you didn't enjoy the thrill of being caught," Damon simply leaned against the counter revealing his open shirt and sculpted abdomen. Bonnie swallowed reflexively before exhaling and rolling her eyes.

"Cover yourself Damon, sorry about this Bon," Elena looked super flustered as she tried to get her shirt to button properly.

"Bonnie doesn't mind do you Bon-bon," Damon opened his shirt wider, giving her a challenging grin.

Bonnie would have been disappointed that Damon was not going to make this easy for her, except it was Damon. Damon loved living on the edge, and he loved getting under her skin. Everyone knew that. He could say anything to Bonnie or about Bonnie and no one would bat an eyelash because Damon was just being Damon. As long as he could prove he loved Elena, then he would have plausible deniability, and Bonnie would be the suspicious one. If she reacted suspiciously, but weeks of games much worse than these and a lifetime of being a devoted best friend, could not be trumped by silly pretty boy antics.

Bonnie didn't look away and show embarrassment or frustration, she simply ignored him. In fact, she pushed passed them both and turned off the stove, observing what looked like a group of flattened hockey pucks on the griddle instead of pancakes.

"Oh my gosh, I am really sorry Bon. None of this is how I wanted to greet you," Elena sighed, embarrassed, more than likely feeling sorry for herself.

"No worries," Bonnie grabbed the griddle off the stove and headed to the sink behind her to cool it off," Don't really care for pancakes much anymore anyway. Damon made sure of that."

"Oh haha," Elena laughed nervously," Damon said you loved them."

"Yeah, well Damon also thinks that Marlon Brando's performance in The Godfather can only be appreciated after four hours of World War II documentaries."

"That's just understanding the story within the context of history. That's just proper viewership," Damon chided, his voice light and full of mirth. Bonnie knew he wasn't giving up, soon he would double down on his stupid.

"It's annoying that's what it is," she spun around as she said it. Her eyes locked on him, challenging him.

"Also," Bonnie moved closer to Damon pointing at his chest," did you get something on you?"

Damon actually looked down and Bonnie dragged her finger up his chest to his nose," Got you."

Elena laughed loudly cutting the scene perfectly," You guys remind me of me and Jeremy."

Bonnie was sort of shocked, her attempt to play it cool despite Damon's antagonizing seemed to have worked. Elena thought they were platonic, which they were of course.

"Yeah, 'cause I need another annoying little sibling, " in response Bonnie slapped Damon's shoulder, really selling the platonic role.

"Haha, okay don't fight too much you two, I have to go get a new shirt. Someone broke this one."

Once Elena took her leave from the kitchen Bonnie turned her attention to the stove. Taking stock of the softened butter, empty batter bowl, and general mess, she started to clean up. She threw everything but the butter into the sink before grabbing a fresh pan from the overhang. She wasn't sure what she was going to make yet.

"You okay?" Damon questioned.

"Yeah, why?" she picked up a towel close to her and wiped down the surfaces quickly, doing her best to ignore Damon.

"That little face you made when you saw us."

"You mean complete and utter shock at seeing my best friend half-naked, covered up by some degenerate," she answered sharply not even bothering to hide her disdain.

"Right well, that best friend of yours likes that kind of degenerate behavior, " Bonnie was at a loss for words at that moment, and unconsciously she threw the towel over her shoulder and gripped the counter-top. Deliberately not looking Damon in the eye, she tried and failed to repress an irked open-mouthed smirk on her lips.

"I thought we were loud enough," for a moment he almost sounded apologetic but she knew it was a farce," figured you get the hint not to walk in. Unless you …wanted to watch?"

Bonnie really considered giving Damon an aneurysm but she thought it was best not to add fuel to his self-aggrandizing fire. She went to grab something anything from the fridge instead. Damon didn't follow behind her but she imagined his eyes did, very closely.

"My bad," she spoke trying to change the subject her voice forced and sweet as she grabbed the eggs," Next time I'll pay more attention and I won't interrupt you unless it's really really important."

Damon sounded astonished," That's it?"

"That's it." When she arrived back to the stove a bowl was already laid out for her to scramble the eggs in. Bonnie bit her lip, Damon knew what she wanted even before she really knew.

"You mean you seriously don't care?"

Bonnie took care to avoid his gaze. She knew that tone, it was dangerous. She shakily picked up an egg, but it broke in her hands before she could crack it. Instantly, Damon grabbed her hand gently and wiped off the egg with the rag hanging over her shoulder. He let her hand go as quickly as he took it and dropped the rag on the countertop by the stove. Bonnie tried her best not to look at him, but her usual breathlessness and general confusion about his intentions made her want to look at him to find out.

"Why would I care? Would I have liked not to have seen it, yep? But why would I care?" She answered defensively snatching her hand away before cracking two more eggs with aggression. Her bottom lip was pursed as she tried not to frown in frustration, her eyebrows were uncontrollable and her forehead knotted up at the center. She was the very image of bothered.

"You know you can be mad at me right," he asked softly and aghast she finally looked him in the eyes. They weren't sad or worried, in fact, they were unreadable. For once, Damon was unreadable.

"You aren't even the least bit…" Damon shut up just as Elena entered the room. In a second he was back to the edge of the counter, where he was before Elena left. Bonnie's intense stare was the only thing lingering from the previous moment.

Bonnie didn't have time to process what Damon was about to say, before Elena cut in," By the way, Bonnie, do you think you can help us track down Caroline?"

"Why what's wrong?" Bonnie immediately thought of Klaus. Perhaps he decided that he was done being lonely, and wanted to take Caroline on that grand adventure she always talked about.

"What do you mean? Didn't Damon tell you?" Bonnie looked to Damon who was staring down at her like she was the most annoying thing in the world. She resisted the urge to flip the bird and nestle it between his dark-furrowed eyebrows.

"No, he never mentioned anything," Bonnie shot him a side eye but was surprised to see his mouth in a hard line.

"Caroline turned her humanity off," he spoke his tone grave.

Bonnie felt her knees grow weak, "Why?"

"I don't know how to say it but…" Elena was beating around the bush and Bonnie could feel the veins on the side of her neck pulsating.

"Liz died two days ago," Damon answered coldly," you just missed her funeral."

"It's not her fault, I am sure she would have been there if she could have been."

Damon rolled his eyes, taking the time to button up his shirt before shoving Bonnie out of the way to work on her breakfast.

"Besides you could have told her and maybe she would have made it on time to see Caroline," Bonnie noticed the slight clench in Damon's jaw as he cracked upon the eggs.

"You okay," Bonnie asked looking at no one in particular but thinking only of Damon. Despite how Damon characterized his attachment to Liz, Bonnie knew that she was his friend.

"I'm okay but I just feel bad I couldn't stop her. It's not like I don't know what she is going through. I went through it, and I lost myself for a bit. You know?" Bonnie heard the question and knew it was her queue to give Elena her full attention," I just wish she would have listened to me."

"You know Caroline, sometimes she just needs her space so she can deal with things."

"Yeah, but she isn't dealing with things. She turned off her humanity. It's not like when your Gram's died and you shut your door, Bon. It's her humanity, it's serious she may never turn it back on."

Bonnie instantly froze after hearing what Elena said. Rage peaked its ugly head and all the years she had learned to hold her tongue whenever Elena would mouth off were being tested. At that moment she was doing everything in her power to hold her temper down and not tell Elena exactly what was on her mind.

Not like my Grandmother? Just shut my door? What the fuck does that even mean? I am the bad guy cause I needed space? Its not like people visiting me when I was at my lowest point was going to change anything anyway, so thanks for not doing that by the way . Did you forget how depressed I was? I could barely get out bed, let alone think straight. Maybe Caroline didn't think everything through cause she was you know grieving?

You act like Caroline turned off her humanity just to spite you. Are you the only one allowed to make her own choices around here? Even if we find her and tell her to turn her humanity back on, why would she want to?

"And why would she want to?" Damon asked. Surprised Bonnie turned to look at him, just in time to catch him putting a plate of scrambled eggs on the counter top across from the stove. He commanded Bonnie to sit with a flick of his index finger.

Non-verbal communication and no eye contact. Damon was pissed. Yet there was a grin on his face when he turned to look at Elena. It looked pleasant and like his usual shit-starting grin but it was fake. Bad news for anyone on the other side of it.

Bonnie considered stepping in but she decided to stuff her face full of egg. If she could get her blood to stop boiling then maybe she would say something. At that moment she was so angry at Elena that she could care less about why Damon was mad.

Elena could be so careless with her words sometimes. Bonnie had to always remind herself that Elena meant well and sometimes things don't come out the way they were supposed to. At the same time, they weren't kids and it wasn't high school.

"What kind of question is that Damon?" Elena asked angry.

"Let's look at the facts here, Elena. Her mom's dead and she watched her die slowly for months. Caroline doesn't have much going on for her right now."

Bonnie forced the last of the eggs down, feeling like utter shit as she coughed from the friction. Damon was behind her with a glass of OJ, her favorite. She wanted to know what happened to Caroline's mother but she still wasn't sure she could keep her tone in check.

"That's not true, she has me, Bonnie… and Stefan," Elena seemed to hesitate for a second when she mentioned Stefan's name. Bonnie rubbed her tongue over her teeth taking her time to clean them. Obviously, something had happened between Caroline and Stefan, something that would make Elena uncomfortable. She took another swig of orange juice and looked at Damon. He was rolling his eyes and acting like he didn't care but she knew he did, the veins on his hand gripping the counter top were proof enough.

"Caroline doesn't even know Bonnie is here and Stefan, well as much as it pains me to say, fucked up royally when it comes to Caroline."

Elena looked hurt, Bonnie could even see the light pulse in the hollow of her throat. Her eyes were searching Damon's face for an answer but she wasn't finding it.

"I'll help you," Bonnie answered calmly.

"What?" Elena asked, looking at Bonnie still recovering from her frustration.

"I'll help you find Caroline. Even if I do not understand exactly what she is going through, I will help her. Because she is my best friend."

Bonnie was proud of herself for not saying more. She really wanted to tear Elena a new one but again she reminded herself that Elena was her friend. A well meaning friend.

"Well I think you should let Blondie have her fun culling the human population," Damon interjected this time looking openly at Bonnie. A twinkle of concern hung at the corner of his lips, in the shape of a frown, highlighted by the worried furrow of his brow. Bonnie didn't bother reading into it, she was over the whole thing and she just wanted to make sure Caroline was okay.

"Yeah, no," Bonnie answered quickly before asking," Elena, can you take me to our dorm? Maybe I can perform a locater spell to find Caroline on a piece of hair or something?"

"Good idea," Elena sighed, rolling her eyes, "I'll catch up with you later, I have to say bye to Damon."

Bonnie noticed Damon's shoulders slouch but she didn't search deeper. Her mind was set on Caroline and out of fear of letting any more of her unwanted feelings loose, she kept her mouth shut.

Bonnie and Elena didn't talk very much on the ride to Whitmore. Mostly Elena brought her up to speed. She talked about Kai's sister Jo and how close they got. How Jeremy decided to go to art school. Elena seemed to emphasize that she thought it was best for Jeremy. Bonnie thought it was for the best too, things with her and Jeremy weren't ever going to be the same. She was a different person now. She half-heartedly agreed that it was good for him to get out of Mystic Falls and mentioned that she would call later to make sure he was okay.

When she heard that Kai had attacked Elena, seemingly for no reason, Bonnie almost started to panic. Bonnie knew Kai had a very clear reason for attacking Elena. A reason he didn't share with Elena for some reason. She was surprised, to say the least. She was even more surprised to hear that Kai tried to help her after becoming one with Luke. Elena seemed to think it was a sign that he was different but Bonnie only took it as a sign that Kai had successfully killed another one of his siblings. There was no way Kai had changed, he simply got better at hiding it.

Elena continued on not noticing the stiffness in Bonnie's shoulders after mentioning the situation with Kai. She bragged about Damon trying to woo her again after he returned. Never once mentioning the truth about her erasing her memories. Bonnie decided to ask her but as indirectly as possible, hoping she would feel compelled to tell the truth on her own.

"How is Alaric? Anything interesting happen with him?"

"He is great actually, lucky for him he's human now. And he is getting married soon, to Jo. I'm super excited."

"Oh that sounds awesome," Bonnie waited but Elena didn't say anything more. She just turned up the radio letting the newest tunes drown out the awkward silence. Bonnie thought about pushing but she wasn't sure how that would come off. She was thinking about her next words carefully when she heard a strange ping.

"Did you hear that?" Bonnie asked.

"Oh," Elena said," Almost forgot, Damon got you a phone a while back. He was sure you would come back," she pointed to her brown satchel in the backseat," It's in my bag."

Bonnie grabbed what felt like a box, and pulled it out of the sack. It was an iPhone. Bonnie used to have an old Motorola that she had been dying to upgrade. She opened the box to see the small flat iphone four in clean white and crispy silver. It was perhaps the nicest gift she had ever gotten.

"You like it?" Elena asked sounding excited.

"Yeah," Bonnie smiled.

"I insisted it had to be an iPhone I know how much you wanted one."

"Yeah, you remembered," Bonnie stared at her reflection on the screen," Thanks, Lena."

"I can't take all the credit. I thought it be a good idea for us all to pitch in but Damon insisted on buying it. I wouldn't ask him how you got it if you don't want to spoil the gift."

"That was nice of him," Bonnie spoke absentmindedly, as she pressed the Home button. The screen came to life, but she didn't dwell on the beauty of it, she went to the icon that looked like a thought bubble with one singular red number 1.

The name at the top read, Damon. She couldn't help but smile.

Damon: Are you still mad I didn't tell you?

Bonnie was just about to reply when Elena asked, "Who are you texting?"

"Damon," Bonnie thought about closing her phone but that would look suspicious," he is actually trying to apologize about failing to mention Caroline has her humanity off."

Bonnie: Never Mad. I needed a day.

Bonnie: Btw... Thx for the phone!

"Damon is apologizing?" Elena asked understandably surprised.

"Not in a straightforward way, you know Damon. Him actually asking if you're upset about a thing is him apologizing." Just then another text hit her phone and she got lost in responding to Damon she wasn't paying attention to Elena at all.

Damon: np birdy

Bonnie:?

Damon:?

Bonnie:?

Damon: ? ﾟﾘﾂ?

"True, but he is capable of apologizing. At least he is for me," Elena whispered in the last part. Bonnie didn't bother asking Elena what she was saying, she had gotten another string of texts from Damon.

Damon: Anywhoo...

Damon: I know you're a big girl, and I can't tell you what to do

Damon: but be careful with Blondie

Damon: don't push her too much

Bonnie was caught off guard by Damon's text messages. She knew he cared about her but it always surprised her when he showed it. Sweating from his genuine concern for her she wasn't sure how to respond so she went for humor.

Bonnie: Okay Dad!

Damon: Its Daddy... get it right.

Bonnie: -_- eww!

Damon: ? ﾟﾘﾂ?

Damon: Seriously though Bon-Bon don't die. I hear the third time is the charm.

Bonnie: Noted!

Bonnie thought about what happened with Gale, Zach, and their unborn child. Stefan had tried to push Damon too hard and Damon snapped. It was no excuse for his behavior but getting cornered like that did not help. Bonnie's goal wasn't to stop Caroline, it was just to figure out what her plans were and keep her from hurting herself or anyone else. Which may very well include keeping Elena at bay. She sighed loudly and Elena turned the music higher.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 - Afternoon

Caroline Forbes was undoubtedly one of the strongest women Bonnie knew. Like the other two of the trio, Caroline had suffered loss after loss and heartbreak after heartbreak. Even before she got mixed up in the supernatural mess that was their current life, Caroline had been good at compartmentalizing things.

In fact, her need to escape the difficult emotional issues and general stresses of life through old-fashioned hard work and a can-do attitude was her very defining feature. But becoming a vampire had forced Caroline to perfect this nature, it was essential to her survival and the safety of others. Long gone were the days of the sudden and frequent emotional outbursts she had as a child. After being made into a vampire, Caroline had become the seemingly well-adjusted and reasonably positive person they had come to love.

Bonnie at first couldn't accept the fact that Caroline had changed, even improved. However, after a while, she started to see it. The Caroline she adored and easily related to, the woman who wouldn't let emotions and pain stop her from living her life. Bonnie sometimes envied Caroline's ability to balance it all, it was obvious she was stressed out all the time but she had things handled. For that reason, Caroline was usually the only one Bonnie felt like truly opening her heart to.

Sure sometimes she could be preachy and overly focused on getting past everything, but oftentimes that is what Bonnie needed. Someone to keep her pushing forward, not wallowing in her emotions and self-doubt.

Bonnie always knew that Caroline would get through the difficult things. She would find a way to push past the pain and make something wonderful happen. So when it settled in during the car ride that Caroline had her humanity off she was mixed with a sense of sadness, understanding, and envy.

Losing a parent was hard, especially watching them die in front of you. Bonnie didn't need to imagine what it was like; she had been there. Although Bonnie was sad that Caroline gave into that desire to shut everything off she understood. If she could have had the opportunity to not care so much, then she would have taken it, in a heartbeat.

Still, she could understand Elena's frustration. Elena had done the same thing and lots of people got hurt. But turning off your humanity isn't the same as forgetting who you are or what things matter to you. It's about not caring about how you go about getting what you want. Kind of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs except the whole self-actualization part doesn't matter. Why you do things isn't important, what matters is the fact that you want them. At least that was how Damon explained it to her (with a diagram) when she asked him once in 1994.

When Caroline entered the room, with bags full of clothes with her same taste and sensibilities but newer, Bonnie knew nothing had fundamentally changed about her. So, Bonnie didn't take anything Care said to heart. She knew her friend was playing it smart, deflecting so no one got closer to her. Care was always like this when she was frustrated. Bonnie was a little surprised though, when Elena tried to win Care over and failed, that she only gave Lena a firm demand to stay away.

Caroline had to have known, that Elena wasn't going to listen. Elena never really obeyed the stay out of it rule very long, unless you well completely disappeared. Otherwise, she would be right there, trying to fix things. Bonnie would respect Caroline's wishes, but on the off chance Elena fucked up or Caroline slipped she would be there to patch things together.

Even though, she had turned off her humanity Caroline was essentially still pushing past the pain to make something wonderful. This time it wasn't centered around being perfect or making others appreciate her. It was squarely focused on herself. Living up to her own expectations and desires.

Bonnie had no clue what those expectations were but she kind of wanted to find out. Who was Caroline when she wasn't putting in all that effort? After escaping Bonnie was ready to discover that about herself as well. She envied Caroline.

As soon as Caroline left Elena started talking shit. Mostly just complaining about how irresponsible Caroline was being. How unhelpful Damon was. How poor Stefan believed it was his fault. Bonnie wanted to ask more but Elena quickly changed the subject and started whining about how lost she was after losing her humanity. As if she hadn't chosen to turn it off but was forced to get rid of it. Bonnie decided to let that go as well and instead focused on settling in.

Bonnie was done putting her stuff from 1994 away and halfway through making her bed again, when Elena asked," Do you think I'm overreacting or is Caroline not dealing with this a really big problem?"

Bonnie was used to these kinds of minefields with Elena. It was best not to agree but also to make it seem like you were agreeing. Less she thought you weren't really listening.

"I think you are rightfully worried for a friend, which isn't a bad thing. And I think we will figure out the best way to support Caroline together."

Elena sighed and Bonnie kept on making her bed, finally getting the comforter to lay just right.

"Bonnie, you haven't told me about how you and Damon spent your time together yet. How was it?"

All Bonnie heard was, 'Is there something you aren't telling me ?'

Bonnie knew she was probably reading into things. She reminded herself that Damon and Bonnie had passed this morning's test with flying colors. Elena thought they acted more like siblings than friends. Even if that had all been an act on Elena's part, it wasn't like anything truly damaging had happened. Damon and Bonnie had grown closer together, as close as a man and woman who hated each other could be after being stranded on a deserted island for months. Therefore, assuming Elena thought they were up to anything else was a total non sequitur. Still, Bonnie felt uneasy.

She inhaled deeply; anticipating her tattling heart to start hammering loudly. Instead, she stopped fluffing her pillows and turned to look straight into the big brown eyes of her best friend," What do you mean?"

Her voice didn't waiver, there was no hint of fear or edge of anger, not even an ounce of sweat on her brow. Bonnie had forgotten how good she was at lying. At least to Elena.

"You guys seem to have gotten over the irreconcilable differences, you seem close," Elena smiled but Bonnie couldn't feel any joy coming from her friend's eyes. Elena was avoiding eye contact entirely.

She is fishing , said Bonnie's fearful mind.

Thankfully logic prevailed, She is probably just curious but not sure if I want to tal k.

"I wouldn't say we are close," Bonnie stared at Elena waiting for the doppelganger to look her way, when she did she looked relieved. Bonnie smiled reflexively, feeling a grumble start to raise in her gut, like butterflies but heavier.

She tried to shrug it off and went back to what she was doing," But you're right I no longer want to actively murder your boyfriend," Bonnie chuckled tightly, trying to lighten the mood and take her mind off the awful feeling seeping through her belly.

Sitting down on her bed, she grabbed her grimoire and pretended to start flipping through the pages, hoping Elena would get the hint and stop asking her questions. Elena had other plans.

"How did it happen? I mean how did you end up giving Damon a chance? How did he convince you?"

Bonnie resisted the urge to look at Elena's face. She wouldn't look at her friend until she could control her countenance. She couldn't describe in words why those questions upset her, she just felt the burning tickle in her stomach grow a bit louder.

"I wouldn't say it was me giving him a chance," Bonnie answered without thinking, her tone was more clipped than it should have been.

"Damon gave you a chance?" Elena's tone bothered Bonnie, it was dripping in surprise, incredulous even. Bonnie couldn't help but look at Elena, the brunette's eyebrows were lifted high pinned there by doubt.

Bonnie couldn't hide the anguish in her eyes, she knew how hard it was to believe that Damon Salvatore would be interested in her. She hardly believed he had wanted her even though he kept flirting with her and cornering her into near kisses and lingering touches. She could never actually convince herself that his attraction for her was at all genuine, especially not when she knew that it was all due to their circumstances.

Elena's eyes had lowered quickly in response to Bonnie's hurt appearance. For a moment, to Bonnie, she looked like a cat with its green-eyed prey finally trapped. Again she believed she was reading into things.

The witch mentally shook off her strange frustration. It was a good thing nothing happened between her and Damon. She didn't want that. Also, right now was about proving nothing happened to her best friend. Not hiding as if something had.

Bonnie began flipping through her book again, taking a deep breath and trying to find a way to reign it all end, "What I meant was, Damon gave himself a chance Elena," her voice was low and scratchy from the lump in her throat. She felt sick and wanted this conversation to end.

"How did he do that?"

"Simple, he wasn't so much of a dick. We talked and that was that."

"Wow, okay, so he was nice to you. Did you guys have good conversations?"

"Turns out he is pretty nice to talk to when there is no one else to speak to. But in all honesty, Damon is strangely a decent listener. Although he is a much better talker. The man has a story for everything," a deep smile curled on Bonnie's face and sparkled through her eyes as she held her grimoire closer to her chest.

"You didn't tell me he was such a geek about movies. I mean I knew he loved books. He has that huge library and all. The movie thing surprised me," for a moment Bonnie felt like things were back to old times. She was spilling her guts to her best friend like Damon was the cool new boy she had just met. Her heart skipped a beat, and she realized that she needed to calm herself down. The prison world infatuation had to stop.

"But he was of course a total snob about it all. He is a stickler about so many things when it comes to watching a movie. It's so annoying," she spoke honestly, hoping that she hadn't given too much of herself away.

"Damon said that you guys talked about me a lot," Elena sounded uncertain. It came to Bonnie's mind that Elena didn't know about his love of movies.

"All the time," Bonnie responded, feeling sorry for her friend. Perhaps not all of the memories she once had of Damon had returned. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be missing memories of one of the great loves of her life. However, she could not imagine voluntarily erasing those memories either.

Elena's body seemed to perk up at Bonnie's words as if she finally got the confirmation she was looking for. Bonnie wondered if maybe that was all Elena wanted out of this conversation to ascertain whether Damon talked about her or not. Elena didn't care about what happened to Bonnie and Damon in 1994, as long as she was the center of their attention. Bonnie was about to ask Elena a follow-up question to dispel the idea that all she wanted to know was about herself when Elena's alarm rang.

"Oh time for work," Elena bounced off her bed happily before grabbing her things," Jo wants me to meet her early to talk about how discussion groups should run while she is out. I think she wants me to run them, you know 'cause she trusts me."

Elena fixed her hair in the mirror looking confidently at herself. For a moment with her hair curled at the ends like that Bonnie almost wondered if she was looking at Katherine.

"Sounds exciting," Bonnie bluffed expertly. She was kind of ready for Elena to leave.

"Not really, she is only giving this to me because she can't trust anyone else. I mean some of these students couldn't even tell their periodontal bones from their lower phalanges."

"A foot-in-mouth joke, very Grayson Gilbert of you," Bonnie snarked back and for a moment Elena looked sort of perplexed before recognition flashed in her eyes.

"I forgot you were there for all of my Dad's weird jokes."

"Practically your sister," Bonnie smiled, holding herself tightly, finally feeling warm. Talking to Elena hadn't always been terrible.

Elena finally walked over to Bonnie's bed and hugged her," I missed you, Bon."

Bonnie did her best to receive the hug while sitting down, she mostly got alot of Elena's curled hair in her face. It didn't matter though she was just happy that Elena felt like a friend again.

The moment was ruined by the sound of Elena's second alarm," Now, I have to go."

Elena was just about to open the bedroom door when she turned around to look Bonnie squarely in the eyes, "by the way, sorry again, about Jeremy."

Jeremy!

Remembering her plans to call him, she opened her phone and saw several missing texts from Damon all chastising her so she answered as neatly as possible.

Damon: Let me know if Barbie has bitten your head off yet.

Damon: O wait nvm! You wouldn't be able to if she had.

Damon: So don't let me know then?

Bonnie: FU

Damon: -_- sure

Bonnie:? what is wrong with you?!

Damon: Everything

Bonnie couldn't help but giggle at Damon's texts, despite how awkward things were right now he always knew how to make her laugh. She'd never say it out loud, but getting to know Damon was definitely the best thing to come out of being trapped in the prison world.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013 - Midnight (continued)

Hours after Damon brought Kai to Bonnie and Stefan failed to turn Caroline's humanity on.

Bonnie felt her cheek start to sting from pressing it on the cold window but she didn't remove it. The log in the fire crackled loudly as she was swimming in the memories of the last few hours. She was so lost in her mind trying to understand her pain that she couldn't even feel her pain.

Seeing Kai had been a shock but that feeling had passed as quickly as it came. Some part of her had been prepared to run into him when she found out he was still alive. Her initial jerk reaction to seeing him again left her the moment she entered her dorm room and lit the first log on fire. The real disaster that set her on this seemingly endless burning was Damon. His actions had lit something primeval within her. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so betrayed.

Perhaps with Jeremy, but then she mostly felt pity for him. She had known Jeremy all her life, and she loved him and wanted him to be would even say she put his happiness above her own. The fact that he couldn't be with the one he truly loved was just sad.

With Damon of course it was different he wasn't her boyfriend and childhood friend. She couldn't explain why she felt so intensely about what he did. That was why it was so terrifying. It affected her in ways she could not have anticipated. It felt like she had been blindsided.

Sure, she hadn't told Damon exactly what Kai had done to her, but she thought it was obvious that she never wanted to see him. She was sure she had stated as much. Worst of all, Damon seemed to support her, he even offered to kill Kai for what he had done. She thought it was so sweet at the time but just like everything about Damon, it was only a facade.

As usual, Damon was only in it for himself. She knew him well enough to know that he probably didn't even consider her. As long as he got whatever he wanted he would give up and sacrifice anything and anyone.

Somehow in the madness of 1994, and the desperation of their situation Bonnie had forgotten that Damon had a habit of using people for what he wanted. He had used her plenty of times. It shouldn't have been a surprise that he would sacrifice her for his mother. How many times had he tried to offer others up for Elena or Stefan? Surely, his mother who he loved dearly would be no exception.

Bonnie was not family, or anyone truly dear to him, she was just the annoying witch he was stuck with for four months. Bonnie had been aware for years how disposable she was. A fact that had been drummed into her head by Damon the day of her grandmother's funeral.

She knew all this but the pain still felt unbearable. The truth was some part of her really wanted to believe that he actually cared for her. Wanted to believe that he had learned to appreciate her the way she had learned to appreciate him.

She needed to feel like the late-night conversations, vulnerable confessions, and intimate commiserations they shared were meaningful. Outside of his bad habit of trying to seduce people because of his need to feel in control of himself and others (a problem she recognized in all his stories about the past), they formed an authentic bond. An emotionally fulfilling one even, of course, when they weren't dealing with the lust stuff.

She didn't want to believe that he had not only taken to trying to physically seduce her out of boredom and loneliness but emotionally manipulated her for the same reason. But what else could it be, how could he bring Kai to her? If he truly cared, how could he betray her that way? How could he not see that she was hurt? How could he not know, when he seemed to know her so well? Maybe better than anyone else.

She stepped back from the window and rubbed her raw cheek, she could smell a mixture of sweat, condensation, and tears on her fingertips. Wiping her eyes, she decided that she was tired of wallowing. Tired of feeling heartbroken. Sleep wouldn't come to her so she would chase it, but not inside.

She wanted to go outside in the cold and hopefully chill the painful emotion she was feeling. Maybe grab a drink or two at a bar and forget everything. With any luck, she would hit her head against the wet pavement and forget Damon existed.

She winced, feeling like an asshole for thinking that. But then she shrugged it off. Damon didn't need defending, especially not in her own head.

Bonnie changed, deciding to throw on the leather leggings she wore earlier under her oversized Nirvana t-shirt. Her hands hovered over Damon's leather jacket but she decided to grab her jean jacket instead. She was about to head out when she remembered she was not wearing a bra.

She put on a bra, trying not to think of the first night she had a one-on-one conversation with Damon. He had tried to save her life and at the same time, he had stared at her breasts and called her an idiot. Now that she thought back, he was not so different from now. By some illusion of their aloneness together she had been convinced that he was a different man, a better man. Someone worth forgiving.

She literally shook her head, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. The sooner she could get a stiff drink the sooner she could let go of these feelings. Alcoholism was another unhappy result of her time alone with Damon, but it was a useful tool.

After stepping outside into the frigid February air, Bonnie lifted the lapel of the jean jacket pulling it closer around her neck. For a moment she considered grabbing Damon's leather jacket so she could have more layers against the cold, but she was far too stubborn to go back inside and the bar she liked was less than a quarter of a mile away. If she walked fast or jogged lightly she would be there in less than three minutes.

She took off down the steps and onto the pavement slick with melted snow. She tried to be careful as she elongated her stride and kept herself flat-footed as she turned right and headed to the crosswalk.

The clouds had officially rolled directly above the campus and Bonnie couldn't see an ounce of starlight in the sky. The moon which normally gleamed warmly and colored the russet brick walkways and buildings in a soothing shade of pale blue, was barely visible. The world was darker and scarier than she was used to.

Bonnie prepared herself for the drop-down as she crossed the street. She could see the basic blue neon sign of Turner's flashing dimly. It was a cheap place well-loved by faculty, and therefore not a favorite hang-out for undergrads. However, graduate students and professors often got drinks and shot pool together. Most people played chess and grabbed coffee there in the morning.

Bonnie passed a few cars parked on the street on the way there. Turner's unfortunately had no parking so there would be a line of cars circling the block midday Saturday. Bonnie noticed an unusual shiny black motorcycle parked on the street. For a minute she wondered if that person was alone or a part of a gang. She didn't want a repeat of her experience that first night she talked to Damon.

She kept heading to the bar, mindful that she would need to leave if she sensed any danger. Unlike last time she wasn't going to be home alone. There was a dorm full of people and Elena would be home eventually. Plus she could handle herself, the asshole at the club where they went to find Caroline proved that.

Bonnie was just about to cross the last street before getting to the entrance when she slipped backward on an icy patch. All her forward momentum being disrupted shifted her weight vertically. She was guaranteed to hit the back of her skull when she felt a hand grip her waist and pull her into a very warm and masculine embrace.

Bonnie's eyes were shut tight bracing for impact. It took her a second to realize she was okay, let alone in someone's arms. The smell of cardamom and cypress warmed her nose, bringing a familiarity she couldn't quite place.

Enzo's stubble was the first thing she saw, then Adam's apple, and lastly his thick eyelashes. He wasn't looking at her but at the ground, she suspected it was the spot she had just slipped on. His eyes were smoldering in a quiet intensity Bonnie was not sure how to read.

Bonnie didn't linger on that too long, as her brain quickly reminded her that this wasn't the first time she had been caught up in Enzo's embrace. He had in fact held her hostage in his arms a few times. This was the first time he hadn't been rough though.

"Thank God you're not manhandling me for once," she spoke breathlessly, putting her hand on his chest to push herself out of his embrace. However, he let her go quickly without much force.

"My apologies Ms. Bennett should I take it from the top? Act a little more like an off-kilter douche-bag?"

Enzo gripped the front of his hair up into a pointed tip and Bonnie couldn't help but smile, she even giggled a little. He smoothed his hair back down with a victorious grin on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.

For the first time, she noticed Enzo's eyes were a very warm shade of brown. In fact, he was quite cute, handsome really, especially with his hair slicked down. He looked like he could have been a gentleman if it weren't for that awfully triumphant smirk. She was tired of smiles like that, and guys who believed they worked on her.

Self-deprecating humor and quick saves aside, she wasn't going to let him off the hook for his past deeds, she had done that enough with a certain someone, and she was all out of get out of jail free cards.

"No, this amount of douche is fine."

"As fun as it is having your very attractive and well-deserved ire directed my way," he scratched the back of his head looking down once before making eye contact with Bonnie who was blushing," I would greatly appreciate it if I can do something to un-earn the title of douchebag."

Bonnie was kind of taken aback. Enzo was clearly hitting on her and trying to apologize. It wasn't like she had never been hit on before but she couldn't remember the last time someone who wasn't obsessed with her best friends hit on her. Also, it may be because she was sensitive and needed an apology but he seemed to be genuine. Bonnie didn't realize it but she was smiling.

"You can start by buying me a drink," she turned and started to walk to the bar," but don't get it twisted you'll have to do a lot more to un-earn that title."

"Wouldn't have it any other way little witch," Enzo whispered.

"What was that?" Bonnie turned around giving Enzo a scathing look before crossing the street.

"Nothing, just wondering what you like to drink. Cosmo, martini, or maybe something tropical like a Pina Colada."

"Why do you need to know what I'm drinking?"

"A drink tells you a lot about a person. I'm a G and T man myself."

Bonnie's eyebrows were pinned in confusion, but she answered curious about what Enzo would think about her drink choice.

"Bourbon," Bonnie answered and expected Enzo to answer right away but he didn't. She got to the door and looked at him waiting for his answer.

"So, what do you think?"

"About?"

"My drink choice?"

"Nothing particularly wrong about it. Just sounds like the drink choice of a hundred-year-old southern man."

"You don't think I could like bourbon?"

"Not saying you couldn't like it but I just think that maybe you like it because of the person who drinks it, " Bonnie huffed, feeling her frustration rise once more at the thought of Damon.

What does he know? Like I can't have my own love for bourbon. It has to be Damon influencing me.

Damon was the one who got me into it.

So, I can like bourbon without him.

But you don't.

Not even her own mind was on her side. She was literally going crazy because of him. Bonnie could feel her blood boiling and that ugly searing pain inside of her came to the forefront once more. She was on fire, she could feel steam coming from the top of her head. Without realizing it she melted a clump of ice hanging on the awning above them.

Enzo acted quickly moving his arm over her head keeping most of the slush off her. The rest still hit her right shoulder and spilled down the front of her jean jacket leaving her drenched and uncomfortably cold.

"Fuck, you alright?" Enzo asked and Bonnie looked up at him. They were face to face so close that she could feel an electric tickle reach from him to her tingling her cheeks.

"I'm wet," she stated meekly, instantly regretting her words. She had a dirty mind and she fully expected Enzo to tease her, as Damon would. But he didn't, he looked seriously at her wet shoulder, concerned.

"No wisecracks," she chided but he didn't respond. Instead, he told her to wait there as he ran off.

He came back quickly with something brown and leathery in his hands. Bonnie was surprised. She was used to dealing with assholes and Enzo wasn't being one right now.

"Here you go princess, something to keep your delicateness warm," Enzo spoke nonchalantly, tossing the jacket at Bonnie's face.

What was I thinking, he is one of Damon's old friends, how could he not be a dick? Bonnie sighed exasperated not realizing that she had spoken that entire statement out loud.

"You met a lot of Damon's old friends, have you?" Enzo smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. It was obviously a reflex for stressful or unsavory situations. Bonnie had a similar response.

"Not really you are the first one I have the pleasure of talking to besides Katherine."

"Ah Katherine, was she as fantastic as Damon made her out to be?"

"No, she was a bitch who turned his life into hell and ruined him forever," she said without thinking too much as she took off her jean jacket and put on Enzo's leather one. The fur was comfy and smelled nice, she wrapped it around her neck taking in his scent. It was comforting.

"I figured as much, she seemed far too good to be true," Enzo looked like he was maybe blushing. Bonnie got the impression that he was more sensitive to a woman than most men. She couldn't imagine Damon acting that cutely from her sniffing his jacket. Maybe he was still truly an old-fashioned gentleman at heart. Or perhaps he had been locked up so long that he was more sensitive. That thought made her sad.

He is like me. He was locked away too. And Damon also left him. At least Damon didn't abandon me. It is crazy to think that despite all that he is still Damon's friend. I wonder why?

Bonnie considered asking him but she wasn't sure how that would go down. She didn't want him catching on to the fact that she was currently mad at Damon, lest he starts trying to defend him. Obviously, Enzo had to be a little bit brainwashed by Damon to still see him as a friend despite everything. It made Bonnie question what their relationship was really like.

Wait, did he say Katherine seemed too good to be true? I wonder what Damon said about her. I've only ever heard him describe her as a bitch.

"Did he talk about her a lot?" Bonnie asked, truly curious.

"I supposed although the details were always vague," Enzo paused looking at Bonnie critically for a second.

"Did he also talk about Katherine with you?" he asked.

Truthfully he had, in an almost venting sort of way. In fact, they had talked more about Katherine than Elena. Indeed, they had a few conversations about Elena, but most times had been initiated by her. She always seemed to bring Elena up when Damon seemed to be losing hope of going home or when he was hell-bent on ruining their friendship.

"Of course, he talked about his relationship with Katherine," Bonnie sighed, deciding to head into the bar, "It is after all his defining moment, the thing that made him whole in his dark cold loneliness."

"Ah, I suppose he has told you his light in the dark story."

"Light in the dark. That's a nice way of putting his sad speech about how he fell in love with a woman he barely met in under an hour."

"Yikes an hour I always thought it was longer than that. Again like I said he was vague with the details. All I knew is that when he saw her underneath the light of the fireplace he fell for her hard."

"No, that was the third time he fell for her. In fact, he fell harder still. Several more times and several more days."

"Wow, what a sap."

"That's not even the worst part. You do realize that all of this happened over the span of three weeks."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, I recalculated it several times."

"How do you know?"

"Stefan's journal."

"Ahh yes, the infamous Vampire Diaries."

Bonnie giggled, "That is kind of funny like the name of an angsty teen drama."

"With Stefan Salvatore as the lead character sounds perfect," Enzo stated, throwing his hand in the air making an ever-expanding rainbow.

Bonnie couldn't help but laugh loudly. She didn't know why that was so funny but she could imagine Stefan with his hero hair going around acting like he was the savior of Mystic Falls.

"Sorry to interrupt but can I get you two anything?" the blonde burly and bearded bartender directed his question to Enzo. It was strangely not that busy. Perhaps because they were going to close in an hour.

"GandT for me mate, and the lady will have…."

"Chardonnay," Bonnie answered, noticing Enzo's eyebrows lifted and a genuine smile crossed his face.

"What?"

"You do seem like a white wine girl,"

"Aren't most girls white wine girls,"

"That's a huge generalization. Besides, most women I have met are champagne girls."

"Isn't that the same as white wine?"

"Are you serious?"

"What?" Bonnie felt so stupid.

Champagne is made for a particular grape from a particular region in France. In fact, only sparkling wines made with grapes from that region are allowed to call themselves Champagne. White wines can be made with many different grapes but what makes Champagne unique is its specificity as well as its technique.

Bonnie was a little flustered by everything Enzo just said. Between the accent and the lecture, Enzo really had Bonnie turned on. She had a thing for the smart ones. No, it wasn't just that something about the arrogant know-it-all energy just did it for her.

"You could have just called me an uncultured swine," she took a sip of her wine, hiding her smile.

"I'm sorry I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings by explaining the difference I was just kind of shocked and- and…"

Bonnie was giggling, she really enjoyed making Enzo squirm. It was sort of adorable and he kind of deserved it.

"Don't worry it takes a lot more than that to insult me. Besides, I like learning new things".

Enzo was looking at Bonnie as if he just discovered something new and shiny," Do you realize your eyes glow when you are having a good time?"

They do? Bonnie had never heard that before. She didn't know her eyes did anything special. I mean she had been told they were pretty before. Or that she was unusual or special because she was a black girl with green eyes. Never had she heard that they glowed.

Bonnie felt her cheeks grow hot. She wasn't expecting this kind of conversation or these kinds of feelings with Enzo. It was all too quick.

"So, why do you want to un-earn the title of douchebag?"

"Ha, that's a good question but kind of personal.

Is it because you're into me? Cause it kind of feels like that.

"I'm actually kind of lonely," Bonnie wasn't expecting that answer.

"I haven't done too well with my newfound freedom and I've made enemies. I'd like to change that. And I think that you would make a nice reliable friend."

Friend, that word shouldn't have stung but it did. She didn't know Enzo well enough to like him, but he was cute and attractive and interesting to talk to. It would have been nice if maybe he didn't want to just be her friend. After all, she was already in a friend situation ship and she didn't want another one. She wished she could get out of this conversation with Enzo and just be left to drink her free Chardonnay in peace when her prayers were answered.

By some feat, the guy playing pool behind them had a sip too many and landed on Enzo spilling his drink on the vampire's pants. Enzo as a result excused himself to go dry the pee-like stain in the bathroom leaving Bonnie alone.

It would have been nice if Enzo hadn't left Bonnie alone with her thoughts. Which only half an hour earlier had been miserable and full of anger. Bonnie did her best to block it out and instead took another sip of Chard letting the bitter-sweet tang wash over her feelings.

She sat back admiring the glass and masterfully ignoring her feelings when a song came on that caught her attention. It was the kind of song she expected to be played on an old bar piano. It was sort of upbeat but heavy and thick with emotion. She found herself bobbing her head along. Not quite sure of what the singer was crooning she just hummed along with the tune, guessing where the notes would lead. She could see the two girls next to her really feeling the music.

They rocked out for a bit and Bonnie watched them as they were so animated. They were even mouthing the words as they beat their hands on their chest and on the bar.

It must be a really good song.

Finally, it came to a close and Bonnie knew she had to ask, "Do you mind telling me the name of this song?" tapping one of the girls with her index finger.

That girl turned and smiled, she had a similar skin tone and complexion as Bonnie but her hair was curly and natural and her eyes were a brownish hazel not so green. She was gorgeous and obviously hammered. She opened her mouth to speak but her red-haired friend answered for her obviously not as hammered.

"It's called Another Love by Tom Odell," the redhead answered, wrapping her alabaster arm around her friend, looking Bonnie up and down. The action was distinctly territorial and Bonnie wondered if the curly-headed girl was aware her friend was into her.

"Thanks," she smiled politely, going back to her drink.

"It's the best, right?" slurring her words, the drunkest one grabbed Bonnie's shoulder gently, the smell of sour tequila and hints of jello shots on her breath.

"Yeah, it's pretty good."

Bonnie didn't shrug the girl's hands off mostly because she was afraid of her falling over. Also, she was kind of annoyed by the redhead giving her dirty looks. It wasn't like the other girl was flirting with Bonnie, even if she was, she should just get over it. It wouldn't be Bonnie's fault that she happened to be her type. Bonnie smiled fakely and grabbed the girl's hand very carefully before trying to set it down on the bar, but the chick would not let it go.

"It's like the break-up anthem for this year, maybe forever?" the girl said, taking Bonnie's hand into both hers. The witch resisted the impulse to rip herself from her grasp lest the drunkard actually hit her head.

"You break up with someone?" the girl asked, tilting her head forward as she spoke, releasing vapors of hard liquor in the small space between them. Bonnie shook her head no immediately but the girl didn't care for her answer anyway," This guy I like broke it off with me."

Bonnie's heart went out to the girl, but she was only a few seconds away from burning her hand off the way she had burned the guy in the nightclub only hours ago. She was really regretting her decision to go out.

"We weren't together yet, but it felt like we were going to be. But his ex came back and they got together again and I just…" Bonnie was really about to lose her temper. She at this point was trying to tear her hand away but the girl just would not let go.

"It's okay Bethany," her slightly less drunk friend comforted her, pulling the girl into a hug from behind, inadvertently pulling Bonnie with her, "Derek was such a douche anyway."

"I know but I thought I was special," Bethany cried loudly and her friend called for another shot while she sloppily rubbed her curls.

Bonnie remembered Derek, and how much she cried after finding out he had been hitting on Elena. She felt so betrayed, in fact, it was the first time she had ever seriously felt that emotion. It felt painfully similar to how she was feeling earlier when Damon came back to apologize as if he had only made a small mistake and not completely put her well-being and her sanity at risk.

Overwhelmed, she sent a light static shock through her fingertips, and the hazel-eyed girl finally let go with a yelp. She threw down a few bills and got up from her stool. The girls were too wrapped up in each other to care, that she left without saying goodbye.

Bonnie was only a few feet outside the door, when Enzo grabbed her by the elbow," Where are you going?"

"Let me go, Enzo, I need to get out of here."

"I'm sorry I'm not trying to be pushy but I thought I was paying you back for my past bad deeds."

"Yeah, well I'm tired and I need to sleep."

"Right."

Bonnie sort of felt bad because Enzo said he was lonely but she couldn't be around him, not when he reminded her so much of Damon. And the last thing she needed was a reminder of Damon.

"I would really like to earn your forgiveness Bonnie." Enzo spoke sincerely and sweetly," Please allow me to do that."

"Enzo, I understand that I do but…"

"But your good opinion once lost is lost forever?" he spoke listlessly. Bonnie couldn't help the blush at his reference to Pride and Prejudice. Something like that shouldn't have sounded so smooth but it did when he said it.

"I'm not that hard to reach," she laughed awkwardly.

"I suppose that's true," he pushed a hair behind her ear," You have managed to befriend Damon. There is hope."

Bonnie backed away," Damon and I aren't friends like that, I barely know him."

"So your strangers?"

"Worse." Bonnie blushed realizing that Austen was being alluded to for the second time that night.

Damon is no Captain Wentworth and I am no Anne Elliot but it does indeed feel like we were… are worse than strangers. I don't think I ever really knew him.

"Whatever, he did," Enzo lifted her chin," don't let him persuade you otherwise."

Bonnie could tell Enzo wouldn't believe her if she said that nothing serious happened between her and Damon. She hadn't done much to persuade him otherwise, she had talked about him the entire night. But Bonnie wasn't sure why Enzo would tell her not to be persuaded by Damon. They were friends after all.

As if reading her mind," You deserve better than to be someone's second, or an afterthought, or a means to an end. A girl like you deserves someone genuine to rely on."

"I- I," Bonnie didn't know what to say. All she was hit was with the overwhelming urge to kiss him. It was frightening how much his kindness had affected her.

"I should go Enzo," she whispered, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

Enzo let her go allowing her to back away from him again," I am not giving up on redeeming myself in your eyes Ms. Bennett. So if you wouldn't mind taking my number?"

Bonnie handed him her phone but unfortunately, it had died.

"I guess we will use mine?" Enzo smiled as he searched his pockets but his smile quickly faded.

"I seem to have misplaced it," Enzo looked embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I am sure fate will provide you some other way of redeeming yourself if you're worthy."

"Let me at least walk you home?"

Bonnie really considered for a moment saying yes but she couldn't. It wasn't that she was afraid of Enzo, but she got this weird feeling like any minute now she would be caught with him.

"I'm okay," she said politely, taking off his jacket.

"Keep it. I will collect it some other time, and your phone number."

Bonnie didn't know how to respond so she didn't. She simply waited as Enzo left. When Bonnie got back to the dorm she saw a small letter and a bundle of bonica roses. The message was simple: it said, "I am sorry."

Bonnie should have been offended that he hadn't tried to say he was sorry in person. She should be angry that he was trying to reach out to her so soon when he knew she needed time to process things. She should be upset that his apology was only three words long when there were so many things that needed to be atoned for and spoken about. Instead, she felt the tension in her heart ease and her burning ceased.

Thursday, February 14, 2023- Sunset

An hour after Bonnie meets with Kai, and gives his ultimatum.

Bonnie had not been to the hothouse in years. The last time she visited Honoria's was when she was sixteen. The summer before her grandmother died, she bravely suggested to Bonnie that she should drive them to the hothouse for a grounding session. Fortunately, for her grandmother, they had managed to make it in one piece.

Grams was hunched over in her seat clutching her chest and wiping the sweat off her brow by the time they arrived. Bonnie was so in awe of the white metal frames and gleaming green windows of the hothouse, that she wasn't as careful as she should have been when parking. The bottom of the car took a beating as she drove up on the concrete divider and Grams gave her an earful. By the time Bonnie left the parking lot she was mortified by her grandmother's opinion of her driving skills. It was the first time she had been yelled at by Grams. She didn't talk to her grandmother for a week after that. Now she would give anything to be yelled at again.

Bonnie cut the engine off and the car settled into the parking spot closest to the greenhouse. She took in the familiar green glass panes with a pang of sorrow in her chest. However, the feeling was eased by the sight of the young sunset burning the horizon reflecting magically off the tinted glass.

The hothouse was sitting slightly northeast bathed by dusky orange light in fields just out of the reach of the untamed Salvatore and Lockwood estates. It was picturesque in its view. Huge willow trees loomed in the background and wisteria huddled at its sides. Ivy grew around its arched ends like bushy caps on its long cylindrical hallways. The large rounded glass dome was ordained with a golden bird at its crest, flying out of the reach of the ivy and piercing the sun. It was one of the most beautiful places in Mystic Falls.

For the longest time, this place had been her sanctuary. A place for her and her grandmother to let their senses be free. To attune to the flora and fauna and be revitalized. It was a place close to her heart, and at that moment it truly felt like she was coming home.

Bonnie got out of the car closing it with a tight thud of the door. The air was cold because it was winter and she could now see the ivy was barren as were the trees. The bird didn't look as proud piercing the sun but rather pathetic as it tried to escape from its decrepit surroundings into greener pastures.

Looking around she could see there were no other cars in the parking lot but it felt more than empty. It wasn't just simply that the outside was painfully out of season, affection had departed as well. The place had been abandoned.

Neglect choked the soul of the greenhouse. The burning sun's gleam that she had once admired in those green windows was overshadowed but clinging ivy. It sat there unloved and untouched, she could hardly see the beauty underneath. She was still waiting for nostalgia to return to her; she was starting to wonder if the hothouse had always been this way.

Taking a deep breath she tried her best to ignore her ever-faithful companion, melancholy, and moved toward the hothouse. Her mood was painfully dampened by her visit with Kai, in which he expressed his intentions to have her there with him on the trip to 1903. Damon who had been close by heard the entire thing and had texted her immediately with simple directions to the greenhouse.

Bonnie wasn't sure why Damon wanted to meet her at Honoria's but she was grateful for the drive so she could collect her thoughts. She hoped to convey to Damon that she was serious about ending her involvement with his plan. There was no way she would be stuck in another prison world alone with Kai again. She was determined to not let Damon change her mind.

At the same time, she didn't want to explode the way she had last time. Damon had let it go, and she had for the most part played it off but in her heart she believed what she did was unforgivable. Hurting Damon, to get her point across was something the old Bonnie would do, the scared Bonnie. She didn't want to be that person anymore. Damon had a way of pushing her buttons, making her react outside herself. In some ways that could be good because she was less docile and more willing to speak up. However, when that intensity boiled over into a merciless, even vindictive rage, she couldn't stand herself.

What was even more appalling, was the fact that Kai made her feel similarly, although entirely toward the negative. If she were truly honest with herself, she wanted to kill Kai. The thought chilled her deeply to the bone, but there was an intoxicating longing to see him put to an end. It was the reason she started to go along with Damon's plan.

Bonnie sighed looking around at the parking lot one more time. She didn't see Damon's car. He was probably not there yet and maybe made a detour. Bonnie didn't care about waiting too much; she needed to work on her speech.

Sitting on the warm but rapidly cooling hood of her car, she put her hands in the pockets of Enzo's jacket. Her right hand was wrapped around a tiny jewelry box she had used to store the cure. She had a plan this morning to drive out to North Caroline where she thought her mom was staying to talk and surprise her with the cure. But when she called ahead she found out that her mom had moved back to Chicago.

Bonnie let slip that she wanted to give her something important and asked if she could crash for a few days but her mom froze. Then mentioned she had a lot going on that week and now wouldn't be a good time.

Of course Bonnie didn't take her rejection well so she shouted at her,' Would you give your daughter the time of day if you knew she had the cure to vampirism.'

To her surprise, Abby didn't get upset. In fact, she just apologized and said she was sorry for being difficult but now wasn't a good time. But if Bonnie wanted to come by a little later she could stay as long as she wanted. In fact, she could even join her new coven full of witches and vampires.

Bonnie recited the fact that she had the cure and she was willing to give it to her mom. But Abby just sighed, acting as if she had rather not heard that.

"Mom, why aren't you happy? Shouldn't you be happy? I'm giving you the chance to be a witch again."

"I hear that Bonnie and I am grateful that you thought of me. But I don't think that cure is going to work the way you think it will."

"What do you mean?"

"I am actually quite content with my new life as a vampire."

"Content? You're content with never being human again?"

"If I became mortal again there's a chance I won't have my powers. Because of what happened, because of how I was cursed. I would love to explain it all. There is more I want to say when you come to visit."Bonnie could hear a knock on the other line. A female voice called out for her mom, saying that Aurelia was looking for her.

"I'm sorry but I have to go. The coven leader needs to see me. I really hope you come up to visit Bonnie. You'd love it here, the people, the city. Aurelia could teach you what your grandmother and I couldn't."

Bonnie didn't know what to say, the offer to have an actual mentor in magic, was a nice one. However, the fact that her mother was comfortable with being a vampire had her stuck. She imagined that if she was able to give her mother the cure, then maybe her mother could have been her mentor. However, even now she was shirking the duty of teaching her and handing it off to someone else.

"That sounds great," Bonnie spoke but her mind wasn't all there she was still in shock.

"I'll talk to you later. I am glad you are back. And-," her mother hesitated for a second," I love you, Bonnie."

Bonnie felt her breath catch in her throat she knew she should probably say it back. That was what a good daughter was supposed to do," I- I'm not ready to say it back yet."

"No, I-uh I understand," Bonnie could feel the heaviness in her mother's voice and she felt awful, "I got to go, please come visit."

Bonnie was about to answer with an affirmative but her mother hung up. She couldn't blame her it must be hard to hear your own daughter tell you she didn't love you. Bonnie reasoned that it wasn't as bad as wondering if her mother loved her for years, wishing she had died rather than abandoning her.

Bonnie took the cure out of the box in her pocket to observe the red crystalline ampule in the dying sunlight. It looked like a fossilized capsule of blood. It may have been, she wasn't sure what the cure consisted of but part of her wanted to crack it open and try and reverse engineer it. Yet it was too risky, she could easily just waste someone's precious chance at being human again.

Ever since her conversation with her mother, she had been thinking about who she should be given the cure. Her immediate thought was to try and give it to Caroline. However, Caroline at the moment, would probably reject it or all but ensure that it was destroyed. Also, she wasn't even sure that Caroline wanted the cure. If Care and Stefan ever got out of this mess and the resulting fallout, then maybe just maybe they might end up together. Bonnie knew Care wouldn't want that chance taken from her, she was after all head over heels for Stefan since the day she met him.

Then there was Elena who she knew wanted the cure, Elena never wanted to be a vampire. Also judging by her friends' willingness to let go of a lot of her past including her good memories of Damon, the person who taught her how to enjoy being a vampire, it was obvious she still wouldn't choose it. Elena's everyday life wouldn't change that much if she became human again. She would still be the same Elena Gilbert, maybe she'd even become herself again. The girl Bonnie missed dearly.

The only problem was Damon. Although she was infinitely mad at him still the thought of him losing Elena because she chose her humanity over him didn't sit right with her. Not telling Elena about the cure now that it was available to her didn't feel right either. The only option she could think of was that she could tell them both, but then she would be inserting herself into a conversation that was ultimately between them as a couple. It was bad enough she and Damon had that whole love-hate thing going on, she didn't need to be in the center of their relationship too.

The other option was that she could give Damon the cure, and let him decide. It was risky and probably a really bad idea, but if he truly loved Elena as he said, then he would bring it so they could at least talk it out like a couple.

In a healthy world, they would come together to figure out what was best. But the world wasn't healthy and neither was Damon Salvatore. If it was one thing anyone could rely on Damon for, it was him doing whatever it took to get his way. Although it may seem that Elena was an exception to that rule, no one knew how far that exception could be stretched. Bonnie wanted to believe in him, but after everything that had happened the last few days, she couldn't be.

Another option running through her head was that she held a friend circle meeting. Invited everyone to talk about it, and everyone would just decide to give it to Elena. Or she could ask Elena who probably wouldn't take it because of Damon. Damon would be pissed but then she could skip town and join her mom and their new coven and hide out until he no longer cared or remembered she existed. The options were endless. She had no clue what to do.

The first flecks of the evening frost were sprinkling down. Bonnie checked her phone and it was a couple of minutes past five and the sun would be down any minute. She scanned the parking lot and still didn't see the Camaro. Without realising it she fiddled with the string of the Salvatore broach around her neck. She had decided to put it back on, she could not explain why but she felt sort of naked without it. It was strange.

Even more strange was the fact that she felt like she was being watched. She turned her attention back to the hothouse to see a raven perched on the top of the eagle, staring at her intently. The blackbird's eyes felt warm and for a moment, she felt the edge of a memory greet her, of a winter night similar to this one. Taking the bird's appearance as a sign she decided to go in.

The inside of the hothouse was exactly how she remembered it. A see of verdant wonder that gave her a massive zing of energy. The whole place felt warm and humid as if the earth's breath was hiding inside from the winter chill. This place was the closest she had ever been to heaven, although the route she took for her early morning runs in the prison world was a close second.

Bonnie's legs guided her slowly to her usual touchstone in the building, the entryway plaque. Bonnie touched the worn engraving of the Virginia bluebell at the top of the sign. The cold metal seemed to warm from her touch, releasing the smell of brass and bringing back memories of being a small child lifted by her arms, trying to pull the bulbs to her mouth. As a teenager, she would glide her fingers across running to her favorite spot never giving much thought to what the sign said.

In 1925, the Salvatore Family donated a grant for Honoria's hothouse upon their re-introduction to Mystic Falls. Construction of the hothouse began not long after the inspiration for the building was finished. It was designed to look like a miniature replica of the New York State Botanical Garden. Unlike the New York Botanical Garden, it features only one large atrium in its center and two smaller alcoves at the end. At the center is the most famous witch hazel tree in all of Virginia, Edith. The tree is named after Edith Fell one of the last members of the Fell family to claim a connection to their Norse heritage and spiritualism.

Honoria's hothouse was named in honor of the Fell's respect for their heritage and its spiritualism. It was so entitled by the Mayor at the time, Credence Fell after his ancestor Honoria Fell, a founder of Fell's Church. Fell's Church the predecessor to Mystic Falls, was erected on November 30, 1492.

As was common for the period many believed Honoria Fell was a witch because of her use of herbs as medicine. She was known to have healed many a life-threatening affliction due to her wisdom as an herbalist. Some would say that Honoria's affinity for herbs was simply a precursor to the Fell family's affinity for medicine, as the family was the first to open up a General Hospital in the year 1860 after Mystic Falls was founded.

Interestingly enough, although well documented, the cause of Honoria's death is highly speculated to be false. Her son, Thomas Fell, Jr., wrote in her diary that she died protecting the village from a hoard of rogue werewolves. Despite the obvious folly of the story, a tenderly cared-for crop of wolf's bane is grown year-round in the hothouse.

"Figures," Bonnie whispered to herself," I suppose it's the luck of being the witch of this town. You're bound to die in the service of others. I should get sworn in with a badge at least then I'd get a little more respect. Maybe a few more thank you's. Ha, who am I kidding."

Bonnie decided to move forward taking in the stone path in front of her that seemed to have grown furry clumps of moss in between its cracks. On some of the walls, the moss looked like it had been scraped away in futility as it was freshly gathered like a five 'o clock shadow.

At the very center, she could see some of Edith's rolled yellow petals blooming from the smooth pale bark. Its roots were manicured and free of any unwanted neighbors, and looked proud sitting at the center of the garden. Despite the greenhouse's desolate appearance on the outside, inside it was well maintained, cherished even.

Bonnie slid the coat off after feeling her light cotton sweater grow a bit damp. Folding Enzo's jacket over her arms she walked deeper, saying hello to each plant, humming brightly as she went along. Various flowers and shrubs grew throughout the greenhouse, their petals and leaves emitting beautiful hues and perfumes. Lost in the moment, she wasn't paying attention to the melody nor the sound of a gentle tenor following along with her.

"Enjoying yourself little bird?" Bonnie flinched turning around immediately at the sound of Damon whispering in her ear. However, when she looked behind her she couldn't see anything it was almost like a hazy fog had begun to rise taking on a mystical green hue from the sunlit panes and plants.

"Damon," she whispered as she backed up slowly and anxiously looked out into the rising fog.

"Bonnie," he whispered back but this time she could feel his breath on her ear.

Terrified but steady, she turned her head to see if Damon was there. Her gaze was met first by the image of his blush-colored lips in a smirk. She sighed in relief feeling annoyance pulsating her brow.

"How did you sneak up on me," she asked angrily still staring at his lips for some reason. It was like she could still feel them against the back of her ear. Without thinking she liked her lips and rubbed her thumb against her wrist still hidden underneath Enzo's jacket. Damon cleared his throat grabbing her attention. As usual, he looked amused by her distracted gaze, but this time he had the sense or the grace rather, not to say anything.

"I was cleaning up and this sad little bush just crumbled apart, not enough water I think," his nose crinkled cutely in confusion and Bonnie felt her lips start to curl upward but she forced them straight. She was so supposed to be angry with him.

"So," she answered turning her back on him and walking to a small bush in the corner. On the ground was a pile of dry leaves and blue flower petals. She picked up a petal and it practically disintegrated in her fingers.

"I suppose you can't recognize them in this state but this used to be a Lobelia bush," Bonnie quickly threw down the crumbled petals. Lobelias were a flower that could mute a witch's control of her magic by dampening her ability to attune to spirit. It could even ward off ghosts and the like.

"Wish I would have remembered this place when we were in the Prison World, could have kept Kai at bay," Damon sighed grabbing Bonnie by the arm and pulling her from the leaves. She jerked away reflexively almost elbowing him, she was still on edge from his prank. Despite her prickliness, he handed her a handkerchief.

She looked at the handkerchief and back at Damon not sure what to make of the gesture, but he was busy grabbing a rake. She covered her mouth with it and watched as he cleared most of the debris into a heavily lidded trash bin and hosed the rest down getting rid of the dust.

"Thanks, for the handkerchief, " she said awkwardly putting it in one of the large pockets of the coat so she could wash it later," I don't think Lobelia would work on Kai though."

Damon looked at her confused at first," Why not? He's a witch ain't he?"

"Yeah but he isn't using spirit magic, he kind of can't, you know being a weirdo abomination and all," Damon's eyes creased again this time he looked suspicious.

"I don't know, what does not using Spirit Magic have to do with that plant not working?" Damon began to sniff the air for some reason. Bonnie could tell something was bothering him. He looked peeved and not his usual, angry frustrated pissed off but still having fun way.

"Well it didn't work on me when I was using Expression Magic, and I figure for him to force his will he has to do something like it, but I'm not sure," Damon was starting to look feral but Bonnie wasn't going to take another step back, " What's your problem?"

Damon finally got close enough to her and she thought she saw recognition flash through his eyes, before an acrid, "Nothing," passed through his lips.

"Nice jacket," he grinned but it wasn't a grin, it was malicious. Bonnie was used to Damon being aggressive sometimes, but this felt threatening. For a moment she imagined him like a wild beast hunching over a meal as another beast got way too close.

"Enzo, let me borrow it," she said testing her hypothesis, and waiting for a response but Damon didn't react he just turned his back and walked deeper into the gardens.

"You trust Enzo now," he stated impossibly flat with barely any inflection. He was pissed for sure, but why.

"I wouldn't say that, but I needed it at the time and he offered. Giving me his jacket was the least he could do for being a jerk in the past."

"When was this?" Damon asked, Bonnie caught a glimpse of his face but he moved quickly pacing around and searching for something.

"Oh just the day after you sold me out to Kai, a couple of hours in fact," she spoke," Why?"

"No reason," he stated still pacing.

Bonnie was over it, he had a girlfriend. He didn't own her. Also, it wasn't like that with Enzo. It wasn't complicated.

"Damon, why did you bring me here? If it was to convince me to go with you and Kai into the Prison World then no. And if it was just to chastise me about whose jacket I am wearing then fuck off."

"I couldn't give two shits about whose jacket you are wearing Bonnie," Damon snorted.

"Then what do you call yourself doing then, Damon?"

"I call myself trying to remind you, of a simple thing called reciprocity."

"Reciprocity, that is a big word coming from you."

"We are going to start this shit now," Damon growled.

"I didn't start it, you did by being an…" Bonnie stopped feeling a sudden stabbing pain of anxiety diverting her attention from the churning pressure in her ears.

"A What?"

Bonnie wanted to say 'jealous asshole', but somehow that felt like a line too far. Like saying that would force things into the light. To make the forbidden known. To speak would give life to the reason he was being an asshole in the first place.

Bonnie looked into Damon's eyes once again searching for the thing that she should not name, the thing that only made sense when she was with him. Their reason for being so awful and vulnerable with each other. It wasn't just a connection it was something else. It had to be. He knew it and she knew it, but it was to remain silent. Burning into their daily lives causing them pain. Making him jealous when he had no business being jealous. Making her excited to see him on edge when she should just be irritated.

Bonnie could feel it radiate from within him, wild and untamed. She saw it in his eyes, and she was sure he saw it in hers. She looked away, feeling the weight of it crushing her and forming a lump in her throat. It was too ugly to bear.

She wanted to give up, to walk out that door and never see Damon again. But she couldn't leave him. She needed to settle things or else she couldn't be happy. She would tell him what was on her mind. She would do her best to explain herself, and hopefully, they could be friends. If they could just ignore the ugly parts of them that enjoyed being enemies. Enjoyed making the others feel things, intense things.

"You are confusing me, Damon," Bonnie sighed speaking quietly trying to reset the conversation.

"You want to me go back into hell with you and Kai, yet you are obviously frustrated by me possibly trusting Enzo. Which one is it, do you care about my well-being or not?"

She was prepared for Damon to start berating her but he rolled his eyes instead, and drug her along deeper all the way to the end of the garden, to see a wall full of Bonica-roses. The dirty plaque in front of the wall read, "Donated by The Stefan Salvatore Trust".

"I thought…" the words eased out of her mouth but her mind finally connected the dots on why Damon asked her to come to the hothouse before she could finish her sentence.

So that is what you meant by reciprocity.

"I was there when you were born but Stefan was the one who planted them. He is the one who made sure this place was taken care of when I was gone. He was the one to protect your family while I was away. As usual, my brother was there to pick up the slack."

"And?"

"And?"

"Why are you telling me this Damon? Are you hoping I'm going to feel like I am somehow obliged to save Stefan because he planted some flowers? Flowers that could be for anyone. Maybe you just put that plaque here or something?"

Damon's look of incredulous fury was terrifying, Bonnie recognized it and braced herself but she was not prepared for his next words, "You are a cynic you know that, you really believe that no one cares about you."

Bonnie was floored by his audacity to act like that would be a surprise that she would feel that way. After he repeatedly sowed the seeds of her belief through his every action and word for the last nearly four years. She unleashed fury throw words this time, but she hoped it felt as bad as when she stabbed him.

"That seems a bit hypocritical when it comes to you. I know you, Damon. If anyone is a cynic hear it ain't me it's you. You believe in nothing not even in your own ability to act like a decent person long enough to actually be one. You on principle thrive on exploiting people's baser desires and weaknesses, instead of believing they might actually care about you."

"That's not true," soft denial perhaps because he knew it was true.

"Name one person you haven't tried to manipulate for your own gain or out of fear of losing control. I bet you can't because you can't trust anyone enough just to be honest with them. I bet you knew Kai wanted me to go with him. Am I right? He wanted that all along, correct?"

"I figured."

Bonnie was surprised by Damon's honesty. At that moment she was done arguing she had decided that she would go back to the dorm pack her things and leave the cure somewhere for Elena to find.

"Bonnie wait, you're right," Damon grabbed Bonnie's left wrist and spun her around to face him. He took her shoulders in his hands trapping her in place. She wanted to resist but his fingers were digging into her arms, any rougher and it would leave a bruise. Bonnie looked at Damon prepared to give him an aneurysm but the wild look in his eyes kept her from it. He looked desperate.

"I know I fucked up by trying to get Kai to cooperate by giving him what he wanted. But now I really need you. And you are right you do know me, I am not one to shy away from doing whatever is necessary to get what I want. But you are the only person, I am actually willing to ask for help."

"Not because, I think you are weak or easy to manipulate. You are none of those things, in fact, you downright scare me. I ask you because I trust that you are strong enough to get through this. Because of you, I know there are exceptionally good people out there willing to sacrifice everything for what is right."

Bonnie lost it, shaking with rage that almost dislodged her from Damon's grasp she shouted," You don't get it! I don't want to be that anymore Damon! You don't think I want revenge?! But I-"

"But what?!"

"I can't- I shouldn't. You just, uh... you wouldn't understand," she covered her face with her palms on the verge of screaming into them.

"Say what you will Bonnie, but revenge is something I understand," Damon grabbed her hands and removed them from her face trying to look at her but she wouldn't make eye contact with him," It's the kind of thing that eats away at you until you have a little. You don't want to be good, that's fine, I am an expert at being bad and getting away with it. I can help you, let me help you."

"Deep down, I want to go in there and trap Kai.," Bonnie sniffed forcing her tears in," I want to do awful horrible things to him. Hell, I want him dead, but my desire for revenge is not worth possibly sacrificing my life again for."

"What life can you possibly lead, if you never satiate that need for retribution?" Damon's voice was heightened trying to convince her, his thumbs rubbing the inside of her wrist relaxingly," I'll tell you it'll be a sad life led by anger and fear, looking over your shoulder constantly waiting to be attacked."

"I'm not led by anger or revenge, Damon, I am not like you," she ripped her hands out of his," I am not afraid!"

Bonnie thought about their many conversations in the Prison World late at night on the verge of being blackout drunk. How Damon always mentioned he was afraid. That he was just afraid of what would happen next. That was why he always had to act first. So no one could get the jump on him. Bonnie felt so much shame for what she was saying, but the part of her that felt justified for being awful was speaking too loudly.

"Wow, okay not sure why that hurt worse than the thousand other awful things you said to me earlier," Bonnie backed away but Damon kept stalking toward her, "But just know this. Whatever it is you think of me, whatever it is you feel about me never forget that I trusted you and that I continue to trust you with one of the most important people, if not the most important person in my life,"

"And yes, I am petty, hypocritical, selfish, vengeful, spiteful, cynical, and did I mention selfish? But you know that I would do anything and go to any lengths for the people on my team," Damon captured her chin forcing her to look into his beautiful blue eyes," You, judgy, awful, hurtful you; happen to be one of those people whether you believe it or not."

"So what I am asking you now Bonnie is not to help me, or my brother but to trust me. Trust that I as egotistical and awful as I am will not let another day go by with you, one of my people, being a whole dimension away from me," Damon was so close Bonnie could practically taste him on her tongue. His words finally cracked through her shell resonating in her body causing her blood to boil. It was hard not to be swept up into Damon when he spoke like that. Impossible even.

She was in a flurry of mixed emotions. On the one hand, she was still feeling argumentative. She wanted to fight him and make him see how hurt she still was. On the other, she wanted to just walk away and stop feeling all these awful feelings. Overall she just wanted to be held by him, she wanted to be swept back to 1994 where there were no consequences. When they could have fights bearing everything and anything and mend back together knowing that tomorrow they would make up. It was all very toxic, she knew that. There were always consequences to being this vulnerable with someone and this closed off.

Damon's hand left Bonnie's chin and was exploring her jawline gently. She tensed but she didn't move the electricity shooting from his fingers into her skin was keeping her in place. Traveling down from her jaw to her neck, Damon was transfixed, the veins around his eyes greeted her like a blue snake slithering seductively under his luminous pale skin. Her breath caught for a moment and her heart started beating faster. She could feel it in the hollow of her throat. Her heart was trying to jump into the palm of his hand.

Damon's thumb caressed that thumping hallow and his fangs started to grow. Bonnie could see he was holding his breath the way she was. Finally, their eyes met and it was overwhelming the power that was flowing into her. Just from his gaze alone, she felt the energy at the base of her spine heat and fizzle as if she was on the verge of having an orgasm. Bonnie jerked away slightly from the sensations but Damon's fingers gripped the back of her neck keeping her from moving.

He pulled her against his chest wrapping his arms around her; one hand in her hair another hand at the base of her spine right where the tingles had been. Bonnie didn't resist, she just let him hold her. She let herself give in to the delicious feeling of being back in his embrace again. She wrapped her arms around him and dug her face into his chest, inhaling his scent. It was exactly how she remembered, tobacco leather and lavender. Warmth, safety, and comfort turned up to 11.

"I don't want to fight with you uccellino, my Bon-Bon," Bonnie felt her nicknames vibrate from his lips into her body, causing the most wicked tingles. She leaned into the moment, enjoying the feeling of peace and happiness washing over her.

"I want to help you get your revenge, Bon, you don't deserve to constantly be looking over your shoulder. None of us do. Getting rid of Kai wouldn't just help you but everyone else too."

Damon's voice was soothing and relaxing, and she began to really agree with everything he was saying. There was some truth to what he was saying. If she didn't get rid of Kai, he could hurt everyone. It was the reason she had gone to see him in the first place to protect everyone. Things had gotten worse for her, sure, but she had been in worse situations, right? She had protected her friends in even worse endeavors. She could take on the task of trapping Kai, couldn't she?

"You wouldn't be alone," Damon whispered," I'll be there."

"But what if he tries something? What if he wants to be alone with me?" she whined smashing her face into the cotton fabric of his henley. Enjoying the soft but firm outline of his pectorals. She missed waking up on top of his chest. It was one of her favorite places to be.

"He probably will, but that could be a good thing. He will be easier to weaken if his guard is down," she looked up at Damon her chin still buried in his chest. She couldn't see much stubble on his face but she noticed he had missed a spot that morning. She would have pointed that out to him if they were still living together.

Did he say weaken?

"How do I weaken someone who can take power from almost anything?" she was skeptical.

A wicked smile formed on Damon's face as if he had been waiting for her to ask. Bonnie could feel his dark energy as if the ozone layer was just centimeters between them. Gripping her tighter with his left arm wrapped around her waist, he removed his right to grab something from his pocket, a knife. A really big knife.

"Have you ever heard of the myth of Achilles?"

Staring into his eyes, she felt all her distrust slide away. His dorky smile and nerdy reference were reminders to her of who Damon was underneath it all. Someone she could trust, someone who had protected her, someone she cared for deeply. Maybe even…

"Of course I have but I know that's not going to stop you from telling me," she smiled, laughing lightly before taking a deep breath. It was the first real one she had taken in days.

"I missed your smile, uccellino," Damon smiled and Bonnie felt her heart jump and her knees grow weak. For a moment she felt time grow still, and there was nothing but the smell of roses between them. As if Damon's eyes were pulling Bonnie in like the tide, she stood on her tiptoes and leaned in. Suddenly, Damon's phone rang and Bonnie recognized the song, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.

"Elena," Damon whispered and a chill ran down Bonnie's spine. She stepped out of Damon's embrace. Damon picked it up and put it on speaker.

"Hey Babe, what's up," Damon answered and Bonnie held herself. She was starting to feel numb.

"When you're done playing with your new little sister, come home I've got a surprise for you," Elena flirted, making Bonnie feel extra weird for listening in and even weirder for what she had almost done. Damon took it off speaker, but Bonnie didn't even bother to look to see if he was embarrassed she kind of wanted to die.

Damon got off the phone quickly and Bonnie could feel his eye boring into her while she stood there. He got closer to her this time putting a hand on top of her head, consoling her.

"Don't worry about it too much, old habits die hard, right? I've got to do better myself. Although I'm going to miss our games, it's time for us to stop that. So instead, I've decided to treat you the way I should have been treating you."

Bonnie looked up at Damon who was smiling comfortably, " Like a little sister. You're okay with that right, uccellino?"

Bonnie waited for the shock to set in or to feel some sort of pain about being rejected but instead, she felt relief. Her breathing was still shallow and she still felt numb but it wasn't rage or tears so it was good. Indifference was good even if it meant that at any minute she could leave her body and just float away. But at least he didn't want to get rid of her. At least he wanted to be friends. And Elena wouldn't find out what happened and things would go back to normal. No better than normal because she had a brother now.

Bonnie just smiled brightly and shook her head, yes, ignoring the strange lump in her throat.

"Good, so tomorrow we start, step one of the plan to get our annoying middle brother back. I got to go check on the lady but here," he tossed her the big ass knife not even looking in her direction," enjoy the food by the way. It's your favorite."

Bonnie looked to the back wall where Damon pointed and noticed a table in the moonlight. It sat in the corner looking gorgeous surrounded by flowers and roses. Bonnie heard the door close just as she took a step toward the table. She paused momentarily before clutching the knife to her chest and biting her bottom lip. The table was beautifully adorned with candles, dark chocolates and strawberries, and a cold bottle of champagne.

"What were you trying to do convince me or seduce me?"Bonnie growled feeling the unending burning kick up again. Instead of dwelling on that feeling she grabbed the bottle of champagne and shoved the rest into the bucket full of ice.

"Motus," she whispered and all the candlelight went out leaving her in smoky darkness and moonlight.

She went home, showered and started to drink. No light, no fireplace, and no one to talk to. It felt like another day in 1994 but more numb. For a moment she considered just falling asleep with a nearly empty bottle in her arms but she couldn't let go of her anger. Blood lust would not leave her.

Borrowing the closest laptop she could find, she went on the hunt. Her eyes glazed over a bunch of different articles and forums until she found the answers she needed. Placing the large knife under her pillow she tried to sleep but she couldn't stop mentally preparing.

Tomorrow she would try not to kill Kai, and trap him. She would get revenge for stabbing her, for attacking her friends, and for ruining any sense of peace she could have before it ever happened. She would get revenge for everything. Since he ruined everything.

OCTOBER 31, 1903

The cold fall snow, was an unwelcome sight to Bonnie. The desolate woods were barren of leaves and the perpetual Aurora Borealis was haunting on that Samahein night. Without being able to put words to the feeling, she could simply sense that things were not right here. The feeling was similar to the one she had in her own Prison World but it was turned up to eleven. The words Phasmatos Tribum , spilled from her lips like a prayer, subconsciously preparing her to deal with the evil that lay before her.

In the distance, the refurbished Salvatore Plantation, or Estate as Damon liked to call it was a feature of Gothic horror with its hodgepodge of burnt brick and new stone. Bonnie had seen pictures of the original house but even still she had never wanted to enter that place. She wouldn't have entered if it were not the only place for miles that could keep her safe from the cold until she could escape. The Lockwood Estate was at least 76 acres away, buried in sleet and snow with no central heating. Basically a death wish. It was a happy accident that she found the Ascendant amongst Lillian Salvatore's things.

"Well, isn't this a picturesque slice of hell?" Damon stated once again vocalizing everything she had been thinking.

"You guys go ahead. Kai and I will start the locater spell on the Ascendant," Bonnie stated looking at Damon quickly, an unspoken understanding passing between the two of them. Mission Trap the Cobra was in full effect. Focusing, Bonnie mentally ran through the plan Damon had texted her that morning again as Kai and Damon got Elena up to speed about the Ascendant.

By design Elena brought along, to ease any suspicions Kai might have about them being there for anything other than Damon's mother. As long as Damon's hands were full with Elena and his mother he could not be perceived as a threat. Plus Elena could be another pair of eyes if the Ascendant wasn't where Bonnie had told Damon it was. But Damon had no doubt it would be there, his mother knowing it would work to get people out of the Prison World, would keep it close to her.

Elena's concerned voice woke Bonnie up from her thoughts," I don't want to leave you alone with him."

Bonnie couldn't help but feel her heart swell with her friend's genuine concern for her safety. Even if Elena was only there to be a distraction, it was nice to have someone verbalize their concern for her. Bonnie saw Damon several feet away, not out of earshot but still not even bothering to look her way. She wished he had at least pretended to be concerned about her.

"I'll be fine," Bonnie briefly looked at Kai who was catching snowflakes on his tongue," He's good now, remember? New leaf."

Bonnie smiled her convincing but shallow smile she reserved for Elena. She didn't want her to worry and she couldn't afford to have Elena close by while she did, the unthinkable. She was after all going to injure a man within an inch of his life and leave him stranded. It was totally out of character for her and she wasn't sure Elena would be on board as it was happening. Moreover, Damon was going to see his mother again, and he was definitely going to need emotional support. Bonnie wished she could be there with him, she knew a thing or two about disappointing mothers.

Elena smiled giving a quick scathing look at Kai before running off to join Damon. Bonnie watched as their fingers intertwined together, so easily, more naturally than hers and Damon's ever had. Bonnie turned to walk away but Damon's gaze caught her just before she could turn fully. His eyes searched hers something passing through them, he released Elena's hand. Bonnie felt herself finally exhale before her breath hitched once more as Damon grabbed Elena's wrist and vamped away. Bonnie closed her eyes taking a few deep breaths before refocusing on the task at hand.

She was met with Kai's slight smile, "New Leaf? Do you believe me?"

"Hell no. But Damon and Elena need to meet his mom alone. So shut up and let's find the ascendant," Bonnie lifted her hand to begin the search or rather the diversion.

Bonnie felt like the minutes were melting into seconds rather than hours as she tried to plot the best way deeper into the forest and away from the others. Her goal was to convince Kai there was no ambush and that the ascendant was indeed somewhere in the middle of nowhere. In hindsight, she realized how risky the plan was so many things could go wrong. She could easily end up being killed by Kai rather than successfully trapping him. She tried not to focus on the negative and instead kept chanting, trying to buy Damon enough time to get the Ascendant and his mother.

Kai was surprisingly quiet, as she mumbled the spell for locating the ascendant. She kept a shallow amount of magic in her fingertips, to sell that the locater spell was working.

"This is kind of fun, you working your magic," Kai interrupted," me supporting you. I mean it's different ."

It was not at all surprising to Bonnie that Kai wanted to talk to her, despite knowing she need to concentrate on this spell. His brain just couldn't conceive the needs of others, all he could think about was his need to speak, be entertained, and control.
"Speaking of magic," he piqued up again," I wonder what magic spell Elena cast to get someone like Damon under her control."

Bonnie felt a prickle behind her ears, they were turning red at the very mention of Damon and Elena spilling from Kai's mouth," I mean he seems sort of tame, I mean I've only seen him with you of course, so I don't really know what he is like normally."
Bonnie's heartbeat was really hammering away now," Back then, he seemed sort of wild to me, like a sort of reluctantly docile caveman rather than prince charming."

Bonnie took a deep breath ignoring everything Kai was saying, she assumed he was just trying to rile her up, to trigger her," Not saying that he wasn't nice to you… he obviously cares but… I guess being trapped in a Prison world alone could make anyone a little savage."
"Phasmatos Tribum, Nas Ex Veras, Sequitas Sanguinem. Phasmatos Tribum, Nas Ex Veras, Sequitas Sanguinem."

"I guess I should be grateful, he is more like Grundel than a frog prince with you," he chuckled, but Bonnie didn't respond " You get it Grundel from Thumbelina."

Bonnie chanted more firmly ignoring Kai's disgusting nickname for her. He had called her Thumbelina several times, as he fed her applesauce and kept her on a perpetual drip of pain medicine. He likened himself to both the savior Sparrow and Cornelius.

"You have really nice palms," he sounded earnestly nervous and embarrassed as he took a more direct approach to hitting on her.

"Phasmatos Tribum, Nas Ex Veras, Sequitas Sanguinem. Phasmatos Tribum, Nas Ex Veras, Sequitas Sanguinem." Bonnie chanted louder drowning out his idiocy.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Kai blurted out as if it were a confession. A confession no more stranger than his stating her palms were nice. No more telling about his feelings for her than his admitted gratitude. Bonnie knew that Kai was into her, he had told her as much. His whispering sweet nothings in her drug-addled state was a prominent feature in her nightmares. She kept chanting willing nothing from her spirit guides, channeling only her wrath.

"Because my guilt keeps me up at night," Bonnie kept on chanting, but her frustration involuntarily caused the wind around her to pick up, a tell-tale sign that her anger was soaring louder," I don't- I don't expect you to believe me. But I need you to give me one more chance."

Bonnie took a deep breath feeling the weight of the Salvatore broach on her chest. The flapping of a bird's wings was clear in her ears. She finished the last of her chanting just as Kai gripped her wrists, shaking her desperately. His void aura gripped and punctured her soul as he tried to get her attention, "LISTEN TO ME!"

Kai stopped draining her as soon as her eyes opened but the damage was done. Not hiding her disgust and pain, she looked past his striking azure eyes into his pupils. He seemed truly sorry on the surface but she could sense underneath, that same cold infinite darkness that would coil around her and steal her magic. The cold merciless nothingness that consumed her joy only a few months ago as it watched her bleeding form and left her for dead.

Bonnie caught the raven perched on the tree behind Kai. She had never seen a living creature in the Prison World besides the people who were trapped there. But there was a raven perched in front of her, wings open defiantly. A memory started to play at the edge of her consciousness and she heard Damon's voice from the day of her grandmother's funeral speak to her," You can't leash a Demon Bon, you either join them or destroy them."

For years, she had believed that Demon was Damon but he was no Demon just like he was no Angel. He was just a man, scared of feeling and tired from living too long. Kai, however, she knew was a Demon. Unlike with Damon who she had hesitated to end, she would get rid of Kai without pause.

"Sorry, I- Oh my God, I didn't-I didn't mean to do that.." Kai started but was unable to finish his sentence.

Resolved she spoke," But you did it anyway. Because even if you're telling the truth, the old you is still inside of you."

Kai looked genuinely hurt but that moment of human pantomiming would not convince her he cared or could even truly care. It was his folly to believe that she would find any good in him after what he had done. With such hubris, he could not see his days amongst living were over.

Glaring at him she spoke firmly," The Ascendant is this way."

Bonnie drug them deeper into the dark cold forest her boots sinking a little with the burning heat coming off her body. She fielded Kai's pestering question about why the ascendant was where she was leading him, lying was surprisingly easy for her.

They walked in silence for a little bit more and Bonnie tried to instill strength in her every step. Her knees were going weak from anxiety because of what she was about to do. Then Kai spoke again and she almost snapped right then," What are we doing here really, Bonnie? Not that I expected the roses and I-am-sorry-note would convince you I changed… I mean it at least got you to meet with me before… but now I-I am trying to talk to you and you just shut me down."

Bonnie's stride slowed to a standstill. The rose and the note. She felt a shiver run down her spine and a stabbing clarity in her brain when she realized that Kai had left that note and rose not Damon. Bonnie could remember that night feeling like she was being watched. She was suddenly very aware that Kai was standing directly behind her. Her fingers were itching to grab the knife and protect herself, but she willed herself to be calm.

"If you don't think I'm capable of change, why spend an entire day with me? Why bring me out into the middle of nowhere? I could gut you all over again," Bonnie couldn't help but visualize him impaling her with the knife he used against Jo but she didn't dare turn around," Your friends would never even hear you scream."

Bonnie felt her pulse hammering in her head, so clearly, she could hear her blood rushing through her veins, she wondered if she was actually experiencing her final moments once again. The only thing confirming she was still alive was the wildfire in her belly. Lapping at her scar causing it to itch. That fire was keeping her there, preventing her from collapsing but it was also killing her slowly. It was now or never.

Sighing she turned to face him, "Because maybe you're right. Maybe, deep down, there's a part of me that believes there's a sliver of good in you." Her voice didn't sound convincing to herself, anyone who really knew her would know she was up to something. But Kai didn't know her.

Kai's laugh was breathy, "And, you'd be right!" he continued to laugh and walked past her.

"Looking, looking, and... nope, they didn't hide the Ascendant in a random pile of–," The thwack of the blade resonated up her hand through her body and into the forest as it entered Kai.

She tore the blade from his body preparing for the next hit, the wet sticky sound of it leaving him was haunting yet electrifying. Her stomach flipped a chorus of delicate butterflies taking flight. Falling to the ground, Kai tried to crawl away but Bonnie's fury was quicker. She stabbed him in the hamstring just a bit higher from where Damon suggested. Instead, she was following what she had read online. Her eyes were alight with the fire and focus of a killer, only her principles were keeping him from dying. She wanted desperately to land the fatal blow. She wanted it so badly it felt like a need.

Crawling away from her helplessly Kai looked surreal. Seeing him injured was jarring, like a cartoon coming to life. She couldn't believe that she had actually stabbed him. As he slithered away she heard a shout of her name. On impulse, she rushed to him and flipped him over. She would end him, she needed it. She thirsted after it.

"What are you doing?" he whined and his genuine fear shot through her hardening her nipples and her resolve.

"Gaining your trust, and then stabbing you in the back? Feels pretty sucky, doesn't it?" she spoke a viper of resentment in her voice.

"Please, don't," he simpered absolutely pathetic.

"Don't what?" she chided" Don't-don't leave you here? All alone?"

"Drive you to the point of wanting to end your own life?" the words slipped out as her pain and sorrow, which seemed permanently bundled in her throat finally overflowed into a righteous scream of indignation," I almost KILLED myself because of you!"

"Please, please, believe me! I've changed!" his begging was pitiful, tiresome, and useless just as her cries had been whenever he locked her away, right before he drugged her, as she dreamed of him in her frequent nightmares. Bonnie felt no sympathy for him, he had never felt it for her.

She raised the knife above her head determined to land the blow right between his eyes, a far more merciful end than he had ever granted her. His whimpering cries grew louder as she raised the blade.

"I know. I know," she cooed before gritting her teeth," So have I."

Kai vanished just as her knife sunk deep hitting the ice. Her hot breath was visible in the cold fall wind. She lifted her blade noticing, watery drips of steaming red liquid, dribbled down freezing as they hit the icy white ground below. She had taken a bit of his life away. Her burning rage began to cool like his blood on the snow.

She got up and ran to the meeting spot, her lungs were tight from sprinting but finally cool. Freedom greeted her with each step. Finally, she was rid of him and he would never ever be able to hurt her again.