The Best Memories

by sephcounttheways

It's time to move on. Sephiroth x Cloud

3. The Asylum part 1

For two entire months of Earth time, they didn't leave Sephiroth's cell once. They didn't even open the door.

The slow drag of time in Purgatory was wonderful with Cloud's company, and Sephiroth's barren cell bloomed into a home. They built room upon room together, getting the hang of making matter with their minds until they had an almost perfect replica of the loft they once shared in Midgar.

When they weren't imagining and creating the tiny details they remembered from their old apartment, they had plenty to fight about. They both had a way of provoking reaction from each other, from angry fighting about the past, to then laughing long and hard about it, to then crying a little over all the lost time, and then to reveling in the joy of being able to kiss each other again.

Their relationship felt more honest now that they'd come to know each other as mortal enemies, because it exposed so much more than just being lovers. They were no longer the puppy love fueled, rose-tinted versions of themselves that they'd been before the Nibelheim crisis. They had put each other through some gruesome, dark shit, and they both knew that they were capable of so much worse. Cloud was very, very into Sephiroth's dark side, and it was a relief to finally be open about it. It was kind of the missing piece to the puzzle of who they both were, and what they both expected out of a relationship that was going to last an eternity.

Their lives would never be boring.

To Sephiroth and Cloud, love included beating each other to death. Love included impaling each other on seven foot long swords. It included seeing the ugliest parts of each other's heart, and being fucking turned on by it. Love meant spending sixty long years apart and still feeling nostalgic for their last touch on Earth, even if it was on the other end of a sharp weapon. Love meant that Sephiroth could swallow his pride for the one he needed most, and that Cloud was capable of accepting an apology.

Being with Cloud again woke up parts of Sephiroth's personality he forgot were there after sitting in a room by himself for so long. He was growing out of all the solemn riddle-speak and moping around, just like Cloud was growing into feeling a full spectrum of emotions again.

It was exhausting to be in love again, but in a wonderful way. They spent most of their time in bed, but didn't engage in anything further than kisses.

Cloud was still physically and emotionally drained from his death and rebirth in the Lifestream, and all the drama that followed. What Cloud needed was to be kissed and to be held, and Sephiroth was beyond satisfied to do it for hours. There was eternity to rediscover the rest of the spectrum of physical pleasure, so why hurry?

The first month passed by slowly and beautifully, but the second month brought a slightly uncomfortable change. Activity taxed their energy almost immediately, so they just laid around, made out, and shared meandering conversations in a lethargic fog. Exhaustion and fatigue seemed to be ruling them, and they found themselves sleeping more and more, longer and longer.

"Should we leave here?" Cloud asked one night, or what felt like night. "I'm starting to feel a little guilty."

"Why?"

"I haven't seen anyone else since the day I got here. I'm sure my mom's worrying."

"They're fine. They know where we are," Sephiroth answered, pulling Cloud into a tighter embrace from behind. "… I want you to myself for a little longer."

Cloud smiled with his eyes closed, "If we're not careful, we might stay like this forever."

"Would that be so bad?" Sephiroth asked, kissing the back of Cloud's neck simply because it was there and he could.

"Not at all," Cloud answered, his eyes drawing shut as his body drank in the indulgent feeling of being in Sephiroth's arms. He was never going to take Sephiroth for granted ever again. "… I kind of love being here. But I feel lazy, though. The bad kind of lazy. But... I'm still too tired to deal with other people. I just wanna stay here with you."

"You deserve to have what you want," was Sephiroth's reasoning. He didn't deserve any such thing himself, but he was glad to be Cloud's pillow during his well-earned respite from reality.

"I want you," Cloud told him, turning over to lay his cheek against Sephiroth's collarbone as he cuddled in close. That much movement sapped the tiny bit of energy he had, and he almost immediately began to doze. He sucked in air suddenly as he caught himself, and tilted his head just enough to kiss the underside of Sephiroth's chin. "Mm... I'm sorry. I'm falling asleep on you again."

"Go to sleep, baby. We'll do something tomorrow," Sephiroth lied. They hadn't even left the bed at all in days.

Cloud made a thoughtful sound, and struggled to make his mouth move to speak, "… What do you wanna do tomorrow?"

"Lay here and make out."

"Mmm... can't wait..." Cloud smiled, running his fingers over Sephiroth's broad chest and tight, tiny nipples before his hand went slack and he began to snore softly.

It was almost prophetic that they had that conversation when they did, because they were awakened from their final nap in Purgatory by a firm knocking at the door. They were both awake a long while before either moved or spoke.

The knocking was intermittent, but persistent. Cloud finally swallowed, "Do you know who that might be?"

"No," Sephiroth shifted up onto one elbow, and it took a monumental effort to move. "... Nobody's ever come here before. It's probably for you."

Cloud rolled over onto his stomach, pulling up a pillow to hide beneath. "Tell them to go away."

"Really?" Sephiroth frowned.

"Get rid of them." Cloud burrowed under the blankets until he was completely concealed. "Then come back to me."

"Alright," Sephiroth yawned, taking a long while to gather the strength to stand up. He was wearing sweatpants and that was all he was planning on putting on for whoever was rude enough to disturb their new, peaceful lifestyle.

In the dark and on the way to the front door, Sephiroth walked right into a wall. He searched for a light switch, but couldn't find it right away as it was on the wrong spot. When he finally illuminated the room, he gasped aloud to find that all of their hard work to make their old loft was gone... it was the small, empty cell once again.

Sephiroth thumped his head against the bare wall. They were being evicted.

The knocking on the door didn't give him a chance to make peace with this. It became longer, louder, and refused to be ignored. Sephiroth turned the light back off for Cloud's comfort, and stomped to the door.

Sephiroth jerked it open shirtless and with his sweatpants exposing a little too much of his hips, his hair completely askew and wincing against the light from outside. He was greeted by the concerned faces of Cloud's mother, Aerith, Zack, Genesis, and a small group of people who seemed to be high ranking in the Lifestream. They were dressed in formal robes, and looked like they were going to be a major pain in the ass.

"What?" Sephiroth growled.

"Hi Seph," Cloud's mother greeted, her eyes peering past him into the dark apartment. "… Where's my son?"

"Sleeping..." Sephiroth replied, suddenly needing to lean on the door to support himself. The action dropped his sweatpants down past any acceptable level.

"Hey man, are you okay?" Zack asked, coming forward to pull the waistband of Sephiroth's pants up a few inches.

"Yeah." He hid his fatigue as best he could, and raised his chin up. "Do you need something?"

"We are the Lifestream's liaison with Purgatory," One of the old wise dudes said. "You were supposed to leave Purgatory when Mr. Strife arrived... why have you remained?"

"We like it here."

"You shouldn't have stayed so long," Aerith told him gently. "You're really sick. We need to get you out of here."

"You specifically told me to bring him back here," Sephiroth reminded her.

"Yeah, but you were supposed to leave after you patched things up..." Aerith gave his half naked body a once over with her eyes before beaming at him with an excited grin. "I'm assuming you guys patched things up?"

"Yeah," Sephiroth nodded, offering no more detail than that. His eyes felt too heavy to hold open.

"Well... we haven't seen or heard from you guys in a really long time," Cloud's mother frowned. "... Is Cloud alright?"

"We're fine. So I'm guessing we're being kicked out of here?" Sephiroth opened his eyes just to narrow them at the Lifestream liaisons.

"It's a lot more positive than that. I'm sure you will find that the Lifestream is much more suitable than this place," One of the younger looking guardians interjected.

"We like it here," Sephiroth repeated.

"You're not a ghost anymore, man," Zack frowned at his friend who seemed to be close to collapsing. "And you look like shit."

"Don't touch me," Sephiroth mildly defended while allowing Zack to support some of his weight. In his rational mind, he knew this level of fatigue was not okay, and swallowed as he pushed Zack away to lean on the door frame. "... This is Purgatory doing this to us, right?"

"It's one of the side effects of staying as a solid, living entity. You'll start to feel better in the Lifestream," The young guardian assured.

Sephiroth's eyebrows drew together in annoyance. It had been nice having Cloud all to himself, especially spending so much time in bed together. He knew it had to come to an end sometime. Besides... having the energy to actually do something in bed would be more fun than just lying there unconscious together.

Sephiroth pushed off the doorframe and called, "Cloud. Gotta get up."

"Why?" the muffled, irritated response before there was a little cry of shock. "Seph! What happened to the loft?"

"We gotta go now," Sephiroth told him in lieu of an explanation, then turned to the liaisons. "Where are we supposed to go, anyway?"

"Cloud can choose a home anywhere he wants... I'm afraid you're not going to be able to join him right away, however."

"Prison?" Sephiroth assumed.

"Don't take it the wrong way; you've already served your time here in Purgatory. But before you're released, you'll be going to a therapeutic environment," The guardian corrected. "For a short while, just to transition you."

Cloud appeared in the doorway beside Sephiroth, shirtless, disheveled and unhappy. His expression lifted when he saw who was at the door. "Hi momma! Sorry I didn't call! Can you even call in the Lifestream, or...?"

Cloud's mom came forward to wrap him in a tight hug. "Don't worry about it, sweetie. Are you happy?"

"I'm getting there!" Cloud closed his eyes and leaned into the hug for a moment before smiling at the others. "So what's up? I heard something about therapy?"

"It's for me," Sephiroth wound an arm around Cloud. "I'm going away for a while."

Cloud's eyes narrowed, "Going where? What are you talking about?"

"You're both being kicking out of Purgatory," Zack smiled. "That's good news! You two look terrible."

"Shut up, Zack!" Cloud reached out to push his arm with a smile. He'd of course noticed the small group of old, ancient-looking dudes at their door, and finally acknowledged them with a small nod. "So where are Sephiroth and I going, exactly?"

"You of course don't have to go with him, Mr. Strife. We're taking Sephiroth to a community with other people like himself," one of the guardians told him, speaking with a slow wisdom. "He'll learn tools and lessons that will help him with rational thinking - "

"No thank you," Cloud responded politely. "We aren't interested in that."

The group of ancient men all looked at each other in confusion, before one of them spoke softly. "Sephiroth is still very dangerous; we're simply going to contain him until he's able to -"

"I said no," Cloud slipped his fingers between Sephiroth's. "If he does something crazy again, I'll correct him. That's my job, right? He already did his time alone in Purgatory, you're not putting him away in a kennel. If he misbehaves, I'll beat it out of him."

"That's not the way to deal with the problems Sephiroth has."

"It's the only way to deal with him!" Cloud barked, feet firmly planted with his arms locked around Sephiroth's waist. "He's my problem, and he always has been. I want him just the way he is."

"He will never be fully sane," The orderly told him gently. "But we can't just release him into the Universe after spending so long here. He's been a ghost all this time, and now that he's a solid entity he still hasn't left this room... when he gets outside he could become disoriented, lost - "

"That won't happen! If he gets lost, I'll find him!" Cloud insisted, not knowing at all what it meant to become lost in the Lifestream.

"This is not your decision," The Guardian told him, folding his hands in front of himself in finality. "The Lifestream is not Sephiroth's natural environment. He must be brought to freedom slowly, or else you risk losing him eternally. And we risk losing you... and you are very important to us."

A desperate noise erupted from Cloud's throat, and he was too exhausted to stop himself from sobbing. "I don't want to be important to you! I don't even know you people!"

One of the guardians had had enough of this, and approached Sephiroth with a hand outstretched. "Come along quickly. Miss Gainsborough, please restrain Mr. Strife while we - "

"Get the fuck away from him!" Cloud protested with a yelping snarl, putting himself in front of Sephiroth and ready to fight to defend him. "You can't let me see Sephiroth again, and then just take him away to neuter him and brainwash him! I won't let you!"

"It's nothing like that! You can see him as much as you want!" A younger looking guardian assured, completely exhausted from this altercation. Negative emotions were almost unheard of in the Lifestream, so dealing with a paranoid person like Cloud was totally unexpected.

"I'm going with him, then!" Cloud insisted.

"You have to let him go, Cloud. Sephiroth needs this," Aerith said, trying to calm her friend. "You can visit every single day."

"How long will they take him?" Cloud roared, yanking Sephiroth into a desperate embrace. He held the man like he'd never see him again, because that's just how time felt in Purgatory. It had warped his sense of perception, and facing the hours all alone felt like Hell. Cloud was suddenly very aware of how Sephiroth must have felt during all the time that Cloud had lived without him. He'd been so wrapped up in his own misery that he didn't even consider how long Sephiroth had suffered and waited for him, and sobbed hard against his lover's chest.

Aerith was moved to tears by her friend's anguish. "How long?... I don't really know how to...?"

The guardians all frowned at each other, as the question of time didn't really mean anything to them. Cloud was still thinking in Earth and Purgatory terms, and it was a horrible shame for a hero like him to suffer so much for no reason. Cloud seemed to relish the drama and pain as he bawled against Sephiroth, clutching onto him miserably.

The youngest one had the keenest memory of time and spoke up, "Not long! Just... well, think of it as rehab on Earth. That's usually a month or two, right? Not much different than that. Before you know it, you'll both be at home!"

Cloud continued to cry against Sephiroth's chest. "I just got him back! I can't let him go!"

"He's not going far, and like Miss Gainsborough said, there are visiting hours every single day! We're just going to help him with this transition. This man has been in isolation as long as you've been alive. Being an actual solid person again can be pretty awkward. I mean... look at him..."

Cloud pulled his face away from Sephiroth's bare chest, which was now dripping with his tears. Cloud looked up at him to find that his lover was wearing a shit eating grin, and had been the entire time.

Sephiroth didn't give a fuck about staying in a "therapeutic environment" as long as a life with Cloud was the end result. As a fun bonus, Cloud was yelling at people on his behalf and weeping against the reality that they'd be spending time apart.

Cloud was fighting for him. Cloud was crying for him. Cloud wanted to be with him. As far as Sephiroth was concerned, it didn't get any better than that.

Cloud blinked up tearily at Sephiroth's lidded, satisfied expression and had to notice that he looked a little... sociopathic. "Are you okay with this, Seph?"

Sephiroth let out a short laugh. "If I say no, will you keep yelling at them?"

...

In the Lifestream asylum Sephiroth was given the privilege of his own room, but not much else.

He lived alongside dictators, demons, monsters, serial killers, and super villains who were also on the road to becoming better people. Nobody in the asylum was free until they completed a series of tasks assigned to them by the Lifestream's wisest elders, and there was no bullshitting them.

Some of the people there would never be released, but Sephiroth was determined to make quick work of the program.

Sephiroth was a functional person, but just as much of a piece of shit in the Lifestream as he'd been in life. He was the same funny, warm, weird, irritating man that Cloud had never been able to stop loving. If left to their own devices, they probably would have just stayed in Purgatory together in Sephiroth's cell forever, secluded in their own little sprawling version of reality.

It had to come to an end, though.

On his own without Sephiroth to cling to, Cloud was becoming accustomed to the Lifestream, but still wasn't comfortable being around people. When he went out into more public domains, he was celebrated like a hero. It felt strange, and the gratitude of smiling strangers was unwelcome as salt on an open wound. It was difficult to accept positive reinforcement for his actions in life, because Cloud had jealously cursed these peaceful people and this idealistic place the entire time.

He didn't track down and fight Sephiroth to save the planet... he was heartbroken, and stalking his crazy ex-boyfriend to murder him in cold blood. In that endeavor, Cloud succeeded more than once. Saving the planet was purely coincidental.

Nobody mentioned that Cloud would probably do well with some therapy, too. They could guess what the response would be... and Cloud had been under enough stress since he'd died. The last thing they wanted to do was to make him feel any less at home.

Love and togetherness healed almost any wounds, as was evident in Cloud's instant attachment to his boyfriend. To take his mind off of Sephiroth's absence while he was checked into the asylum, Cloud was invited to begin creating a home in his little slice of the Lifestream.

He could choose to live anywhere he desired. There were cities, suburbs, small towns, and more secluded rural areas just like on Earth. He could live anywhere from a chocobo farm, to a sweet ass penthouse in a huge city.

None of that was really Cloud's style. He wandered for a while, and felt drawn towards the sounds of the Lifestream, the warm ocean tides and salty air. He chose a spot on the shore, where he could sit and smoke on his back porch, listening to records and watching the silky waves in solitude. It reminded him a little of the place on the beach he and Sephiroth liked to take vacations together.

Cloud spent most of his time lying on the beach without a care, daydreaming about Sephiroth's release from the mental institution. They would make a boat and sail on the Lifestream, they would swim with the devastatingly beautiful marine life, and they would play in the soft sand. They would never have to worry about money, or work, or obligation, or the Shin-Ra Electric Company's evil impact on their lives.

They could also make love for days at a time if they wanted to... and Cloud really, really wanted to. Coming to the Lifestream had replenished all the energy that Purgatory had sucked out of him, and Cloud wanted to put it to use. There were new neighbors on the beach in the far distance, who were also gay lovers... and were former professional soccer players and unabashed nudists. Cloud had a telescope set up in the house before he even had a couch.

Construction on the house and voyeurism gave Cloud a lot to focus on during Sephiroth's absence. He'd been tempted to recreate the home he and Sephiroth had shared in Midgar, just like in the cell in Purgatory that they'd been robbed of. When he thought of the notion of home, it was always the first place that sprang first to mind. Tragedy had never touched Cloud's memories of that loft. They'd left the morning of the Nibelheim mission together with laundry to fold and unopened mail thrown just inside the threshold to be dealt with later.

After everything went down in Nibelheim, Cloud had been held captive first by the medical labs, and then by his own little brand of insanity that latched onto the idea that he was Zack Fair. By the time Cloud's memories returned, the loft had long since come crashing down onto the slums. Their clothes, pictures, movies, books, random shit picked up while traveling... every good memory he'd shared with Sephiroth was long gone. In a way, it had been preserved.

This was a new life and a fresh start, so Cloud began imagining an entirely new home. Whatever he thought of became real, and if he couldn't exactly imagine it, the Universe would offer up a possible solution. It was fun creating things... but would have been a lot more fun with Sephiroth. To make an entire house by himself took a lot of his energy.

So he just made the bones of the house, and a few essential rooms. It was a basic kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. He didn't decorate much... he would wait for Sephiroth to come home and help him.

Sephiroth wasn't far away, and even though Cloud was promised immediate visitation, he couldn't go see him for a little while. Sephiroth apparently needed to earn the right to welcome a visitor, and couldn't stop getting into fistfights with other inmates. The asylum actually sent a messenger boy to his door every day to break the unfortunate news that Cloud was not allowed to see Sephiroth. Cloud found the messenger charming, and he almost liked hearing that Sephiroth was giving them a hard time… it was a strange sort of turn on to be in love with a bad boy. But the novelty wore off, and eventually Cloud was able to send Sephiroth a written message with the messenger.

'Can you not fight for one day so I can come see you? I miss you so much! Can you suck it up for one goddamn day? For me? - Cloud' he wrote in large letters.

A short while later, the messenger returned with a napkin bearing a short reply, 'I miss you too, baby. I won't fight tomorrow, I promise. Come see me. – Seph'

True to his word, Sephiroth did not fight the following day, and earned the right to see his boyfriend. Cloud immediately went to the remote location of the mental asylum, and realized why Sephiroth was having so much trouble getting along with his peers.

It was a massive, immaculately clean, brightly lit compound full of the darkest-hearted people in existence. Just walking through the front doors of the place filled Cloud with dread, and he found himself actually very afraid of the wicked energy that the place gave off. Somehow the bright and cheerful, hospital-like appearance only added to how scary it felt to walk inside, almost like one was entering a haunted building.

Cloud was briefed by a pair of correctional officers not to engage in fighting with any of the inmates. Apparently his reputation preceded him, as he was becoming known in the Lifestream for having a fierce temper. Cloud promised to be on his best behavior, and was allowed into the waiting room.

Other criminals and villains were also waiting for their visiting loved ones, and Cloud's eyes searched for Sephiroth, fully expecting him to look mentally ill and defeated by this place. Instead, Sephiroth was standing in boots, leather pants and a black sweater, looking exactly like his old self. His hair was shiny, his skin was clear, his eyes were alert and bright. The only difference from his previous identity as a General was that Sephiroth's current body was less formally trained, giving him a more streamlined physique. But there was still a pleasant stretch of dark fabric over his broad chest, and a sexy rolling bump of muscle underneath his sweater's sleeves. His legs still filled out leather just the same way, and Cloud couldn't see it but he just knew Sephiroth's ass looked amazing right then.

Cloud's eyes watered, because he hadn't seen Sephiroth look so awake, so sane, so healthy, or so fucking handsome in a lifetime.

Sephiroth smiled back at him and took a step forward, but paused. There was a man dressed in the robes of the very Ancient Wutainese standing next to him, and he leaned close and whispered something to Sephiroth. In response to whatever was said, Sephiroth gave the man a deadly glare and there was a characteristic twitch of his left hand where a weapon might have materialized. There was no weapon, so instead it closed into a tight fist.

Cloud watched in horrified slow motion as Sephiroth reeled it back to knock this grinning Wutainese lunatic on his ass.

The man became animated by this, and screamed out with pure glee, "Nurse! Sephiroth's threatening me!"

The nurse in question had been watching this entire exchange with keen vision, and held up a rod with an electrically charged end. "Are you boys causing trouble right before visitation? Do I need to revoke your privileges for today?"

"No," Sephiroth answered, crossing his arms and giving Cloud a calm shrug. "I didn't actually do anything."

The nurse gave Sephiroth a patronizing look before shifting it to the other man. "Were you picking a fight, Eddie jinn?"

"No, I was paying his boyfriend a compliment and Sephiroth acted like he was going to hit me," The man licked his lips with insane fervor, and it was easy to see that this being probably had never been a human entity. He was… something else. Although nobody asked him what the compliment was, he was happy to announce it, "Cloud Strife's my hero! He's a super hero! I wanna peel his skin off and wear it like a cape!"

The nurse looked bored by this rambling admission, which wasn't even the craziest thing she'd heard in just the past five minutes. She sighed at Sephiroth. "Were you really going to hit this idiot jinn for saying that? Do you think Mr. Strife's skin is in any immediate danger?"

Sephiroth scoffed. "Cloud could tear this mother fucker apart without even trying. But I need to hit him because he spat a little on my cheek when he whispered to me, and that's a level of disrespect that I don't have to tolerate."

She gave him a glare of disbelief. "You still don't get it, do you? You're not a General anymore and nobody here owes you anything, least of all respect. I can spit on you right now if I want to."

After weighing that statement uneasily, Sephiroth threw on that inner switch he'd developed in the military. He could easily cut himself off emotionally from situations, and gave her a rigid nod. "Understood."

She wasn't done scolding him. "I should send Cloud home, but since he's already here and signed in… I'm letting this slide. I don't want to catch you about to fight again."

"Yes ma'am," he told her.

She touched Cloud's shoulder and gently urged him further into the waiting room. "Hurry up and get out of here before he gets into real trouble."

Cloud was slow to approach. Actually seeing his lover in this kind of setting, surrounded by these kinds of people was upsetting… mostly because Sephiroth seemed to be playing along as though he belonged there. It might have been easier to take if Sephiroth didn't look so good, but as it was it seemed tragically unfair that he was locked away with all these deranged, drooling, insane villains. Sephiroth's beauty had carried over into the Lifestream, but it seemed as though looks weren't everything when stacked against a lifetime of murder, evil, and insanity.

Sephiroth did belong here. He had never, ever been anything but pure poison in Cloud's life… and yet here Cloud was, dating him again and even showing support by visiting him in a fucking asylum. Forgiveness was something Cloud had always been desperate for in his life, but actually forgiving Sephiroth was a constant effort, a work in progress. It hurt so badly in that moment, but Cloud didn't want to show emotion in front of these people. He took his lover's cue and threw a similar military switch inside himself just to stop from breaking down into tears.

Under control, Cloud approached Sephiroth with a short hug. "Hi."

"Hi," Sephiroth greeted, thirsty for more contact but silently accepting the fact that he was being held at arm's length. He assumed Cloud wanted privacy for a more intimate reunion, and smiled softly down at him. "Wanna see my room?"

"Sure," Cloud nodded.

"C'mon," Sephiroth wanted to take his hand to walk, but didn't. They went silently to Sephiroth's floor, and into the small studio apartment. Sephiroth opened the door to usher Cloud inside with a shrug. "This is it."

Cloud hated it. His emotionless switch was still flipped, so he groped for something positive to say. "Hm. Cute room."

Sephiroth was becoming infected with Cloud's awkwardness. "It's nice having my own bathroom. I also have like, a little kitchen... I don't really eat yet, though. But are you hungry?"

"No, no," Cloud stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I don't really eat, either. I mean... sometimes I do if I go to someone's house and they made dinner, but..."

"Coffee?" Sephiroth suggested. "I've got some whiskey I can add to it. They give it away to us here like candy."

"Okay," Cloud agreed, allowing his boyfriend something to do as he prepared the drink.

They sat next to each other on the small sofa, not saying much and not touching. Sephiroth looked over at Cloud, who hadn't even attempted to kiss him, yet. In fact, he was actively trying not to look at him.

Sephiroth had gotten used to the idea of his boyfriend being as clingy as he'd been as a teenager, and was a little bummed out about their lukewarm reunion. He decided to take a chance and lean in for a kiss, and was met with Cloud's cheek.

"Oh," Cloud said, embarrassed for turning away from his boyfriend. "Sorry."

That small apology reminded Sephiroth that he had work to do. "Hey, wanna help me with my first assignment here?"

"Assignment?"

"Yeah, I have like little assignments to do. Therapy shit. Once I get one done, I get a new one. So on until I get released, you know?" Sephiroth was rambling, and quickly reached for his cup of coffee to sip at to shut himself up. After a brief pause to choke down a tiny sip of the still-too-hot liquid, he put it back down. "So, my first assignment involves you. You wanna help?"

"Sure."

"I have to tell you that I'm sorry for something," Sephiroth explained. "I have to offer you a sincere apology for one thing that I'm really sorry for. And I figured out what that something is -"

"You're not sorry about what you did," Cloud immediately rebutted.

"Yeah, I know that. But I am sorry about one thing."

Cloud looked at him for a moment, before huffing. "What, then?"

Sephiroth wasn't sorry for burning down Nibelheim. He wasn't sorry for trying to destroy the planet. He wasn't sorry for stabbing Cloud a bunch of times, killing tons of innocent people with Geostigma, or driving Cloud literally insane. The only thing he could think to be sorry about was... "Most people come to the Lifestream and find peace. I've made you miserable and complicated everything for you from the first second, and you don't deserve that after everything I've done to you. You deserve to be happy, and that's my number one priority right now. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to quite pull it off, yet. I'm trying."

Cloud processed that by chewing on the inside of his lip. "You always make me miserable, though. That's just... you."

"I want to make you happy," Sephiroth said, and his own honesty surprised him. "I'm so sorry that I'm still fucking up your life. Sorry you have to come here and see me like this. Just... I'm sorry."

"That's a stupid thing to say," A smile hinted on the corner of Cloud's mouth.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth repeated with a grin when he saw Cloud's defenses begin to crumble.

Cloud reached over and covered Sephiroth's mouth with his palm. "Don't say it again."

"Mm mm-y," Sephiroth repeated behind Cloud's hand.

Cloud's nostrils flared a little, and he was still almost smiling as his eyes became glassy with tears. "... Stop."

Sephiroth's eyebrows turned up at the sudden swing of his lover's mood, and pulled Cloud's hand off his mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Just shut the fuck up."

"Tell me what's wrong, baby?" Sephiroth asked again, tightening his hold on Cloud's hand.

"Please don't let them change you," Cloud let out a breath. "Don't be sorry for anything. I love you and I don't want a nicer version of you, or for you to pretend to be sorry about anything to make these people keeping you here satisfied. If you want to make me happy, just be you."

Sephiroth only heard one thing in all of that, and it had drowned out everything else. "… You love me?"

"Oh," Cloud thought back to what he'd blurted and felt his face burn hot. He'd not said it out loud yet, and was a little surprised at how easily it had slipped. "... C'mon, Seph. Of course I do."

Sephiroth didn't let another second pass before scooping Cloud into his lap. At some point they'd knocked into the table and their coffee spilled all over the side of the couch and the floor, but neither noticed until much, much later.

First task down, and Sephiroth got two very unexpected perks. Cloud said out loud that he loved him, and Sephiroth had his first orgasm in over half a century. Granted it was brought on by a dry hump and happened on the inside of his pants, but it was the most intense thing he'd felt since Cloud punching him in the neck when he'd woke up on the Lifestream shore.

One little taste of pleasure made Sephiroth all the more eager to get done with this asylum. He was ready for his second task... which he was absolutely disgusted by.

Sephiroth had to make a new friend in the asylum. And there was no bullshitting a task like that.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sephiroth liked to spend his days in the asylum gym (unless of course his privileges were revoked for fighting, or for trying to interfere with his fellow inmates' workouts with too many suggestions). He was headed there for a long, relaxing run when he was forced to move out of the way as a new inmate was being literally dragged from the elevator and down his hall. He covered his nose in shock of one of the absolute foulest odors he'd ever experienced, all coming from the newest inmate.

Sephiroth normally wasn't interested in inmate drama, but was stricken by this one's appearance. The man was naked, ashamed, crawling along the floor like the lowest creature that had ever lived. He had dark hair and charred skin covered in blistering burns, and was coated in a thick cocktail of human fluids: blood, piss, cum, shit, vomit. Sephiroth was even more shocked by the fact that this man had two large, black wings folded against his back. Granted they were in horrible condition, and molted rotten feathers as he laid sobbing against the floor.

But Sephiroth had never seen wings on anyone else but himself, Angeal and Genesis. Something made him want to speak to this young man. "Hey. You'll like it here."

The young man looked up, revealing that his face was more owl-like than human. He had a small break and large, shockingly round eyes. Once they locked with Sephiroth's, they slammed shut and he hid his face against the floor. "Please! Please let me die! I wanna go back to Hell!"

"Oryan, stand up and walk," one of the orderlies was gently urging. "It's okay. You're safe here."

"Throw me back! I wanna go to Hell! I wanna go home!"

"Oryan," the orderlies were whispering, still trying to get him to stand as they unlocked the door next to Sephiroth's. "This is your home, now. It's clean, and safe, and all yours. You don't have to live in Hell, anymore."

"I deserve it," the man was still sobbing. "I'm a toilet. I'm nothing."

"That's not true," a nurse told him. "Let us help you. You'll feel so good after a bath."

A few of the other inmates were having a great time whistling and cat calling the naked, distraught young man. They were shooed away, as well as Sephiroth for being a rubber necker. He was forced onto the elevator, and left with a hundred questions that he would normally never even care to wonder about. He supposed that the naked, shit-stained man was the only person he'd seen at the asylum who… looked like he needed a friend. And fucking god damn it, Sephiroth needed one too if he was ever going to get out of this place.

Making a new friend was demeaning, juvenile, and meaningless for a grown-ass man such as himself. Once he made peace with the fact that he had to do it whether he liked it or not, it didn't take much introspection to realize he didn't really have friends in life. He had coworkers, colleagues, brothers-in-arms, and then rich people in suits who had made decisions about his life for him. Even Cloud was just a cadet and a wannabe SOLDIER.

Sephiroth had never known a single person who was not employed by the Shin-Ra Electric Company. And to put it bluntly… during the company's heyday, nobody else really mattered.

But a task was a task, and the longer he ignored it, the longer he was kept from Cloud. So Sephiroth initially sought out the most convenient person to befriend - his neighbor Phil. He was an animal murderer, and liked to take long walks in the park while offering poisoned treats to any dog he passed by.

Sephiroth wasn't sorry for his crimes in life, and neither was Phil. He'd been in the asylum for a long time and knew that he would never get out. With the mentality that his crimes were going to define his identity for the rest of eternity, Phil was very proud of them. Sephiroth had only endured a few moments of this man's repugnant company, and even in just that fleeting introduction Sephiroth wanted to tear Phil's heart out and shit in the hole that was left behind. It was immediately clear than friendship was not an option.

But now Oryan was his neighbor on the other side. Just the fact that Sephiroth actually remembered his name was meaningful. He figured the kid was probably a demon sex slave or something equally as illustrious, and sought out other demons to ask questions before approaching him for friendship. The only one who'd actually talk to him was Abbadon, who was pretty desperate to talk to anybody and widely considered to be an obnoxious fucking loser.

"So! You wanna know about Oryan?" he asked, his double chin bouncing in glee as he spoke. He was extra loud to demonstrate to the lunch room that Sephiroth had actually chosen to speak to him. "I know all about him!"

Sephiroth already wanted to abort this mission, but gave a reluctant sigh as he began to eat. "Well? What's his story?"

"We go back all the way to the beginning of the rebellion!" Abbadon exclaimed, always eager to talk about his glory days as a marauding angel, playing out an outlaw fantasy with his friends before getting booted out of Heaven.

Oryan was created by God to act as a mouthpiece, taking all the wisest parts of an owl to create a thoughtful, well-spoken little angel. Oryan's innate wisdom granted him the power and the curse to speak only the truth. His own nature betrayed him when Lucifer lead a revolution against God, and Oryan couldn't lie about his sympathies towards the rebellion. He was banished from Heaven, making him a homeless little bird kicked out of his nest with nowhere to go.

"What's the difference between Heaven and the Lifestream?" Sephiroth interrupted.

Abbadon thought about that before answering. "Heaven is like… the Lifestream on a heroin bender. It's just… way different, really flashy and exclusive, and only fun if you have a lot of money."

Sephiroth frowned in thought. "Sounds like the Gold Saucer."

Abbadon nodded, "Exactly. People who are born in Heaven don't even know the Lifestream exists… once you're in, you're in forever. And they have a way of making you feel like you'd rather not exist at all than get kicked out. Especially at that time, because nobody had ever been kicked out before. We had no idea what was gonna happen to us, where we would go… it was awesome for us, but Oryan took it pretty hard."

At one point during an argument with Lucifer, Oryan made the mistake of telling the King of Hell to, "Eat shit."

As a result, Oryan was assigned to the eighth circle of Hell, watching over the trapped souls drowning upside down, feet up in shit. And anyone seeking truth through Satanic worship could summon Oryan by force feeding a human sacrifice excrement until they suffocated. Blood, virgins and demonic circles helped too, but weren't strictly necessary. Oryan's talents made him one of the most sought after servants in the entire demonic collective, and if the summoning conditions were met, Oryan appeared and would grant the summoner whatever truth he desired. Or she, as the case might have been, but a woman had never gone through the nasty trouble to call upon him.

"You're making all this up," Sephiroth accused.

"No, seriously!" Abbadon insisted. "Oryan has been covered in shit for millions of years, all because he told Luce to eat it one time! Anyway, you wanna throw rocks at him later? He hates that!"

"I'm all set," Sephiroth stood up from the lunch table. Even though he got a little bit of backstory on his new neighbor, and still had more questions than answers.

Over the next few days, the asylum's medical staff cleaned, treated and bandaged his beak and wings several times a day. Almost immediately, the festering rot that had infested his body improved. Soon, his black wings looked shiny and healthy, and his beak only needed a few band-aids here and there. He didn't reek of death anymore, but rather had the fresh musk of something natural and earthy.

Sephiroth had tried striking up a conversation with him several times. But every single time, the demon had shrunk back and literally hid anywhere he could to avoid conversation.

At one point they were both entering their respective apartments at the same time, and accidently made eye contact. Oryan looked entirely different from the first time they'd met, both outwardly and in the way he was carrying himself. He wasn't slinking naked and filthy along on the ground, but rather standing like a person and dressed in loose, modern jeans and a black sweatshirt. His skin was dark and mottled from being exposed to such high temperatures for so long, and he was built somewhat like Zack; a strong and youthful body topped with messy, dark curls. He was actually kind of hot from behind.

Sephiroth found himself compelled to say something. It'd be rude to greet Oryan by name, because demons were awfully touchy about that. To them, names held great power. Just knowing a demon's name might give a summoner control over them, and while Oryan was probably working through all that with therapy, he was still a demon.

So Sephiroth called out a casual, "Hey."

Oryan's entire body froze. His eyes turned to Sephiroth, but didn't rise higher than his chin line. "... Hello."

"You look good."

Oryan answered with wide eyes, and a slightly parted beak. It was hard to tell because he didn't have much in the way of cheeks, but the demon appeared to be blushing.

Sephiroth realized that sounded very much like a pick up line, and waved his hand to ease his neighbor. "Your wings, I mean. They look a lot better."

"... Th-thank you very much," he said politely, his hands shaking a bit as he fumbled to get into his room.

"You busy?" Sephiroth asked, trying to remedy the awkward situation. "Wanna come in and have a drink or something?"

The demon's face snapped towards Sephiroth at an angle that was inhuman, and his eyes went even wider. "Why?"

"I'm supposed to be making friends," Sephiroth explained with a roll of his eyes, and then leaned in as he spoke from the side of his mouth. "Part of the program. I'm trying to get out of here. Did they tell you to make a friend, too?"

"No, they wouldn't have asked me to do that. I wouldn't make a very good friend," Oryan fumbled until he got his door open and shuddered his way inside.

Sephiroth became a little offended. "Hey, you used to be a fucking literal piece of shit, how many people invite you over to hang out? Would a fucking drink kill you?"

The door slammed shut. Sephiroth huffed, red in the face and frustrated.

He could tell Oryan was still standing behind the door. "Alright hey, I'm sorry man. I just really need to make a friend so I can move on to my next task. It's been like a month and I still haven't met anyone here I can tolerate, and you seem like a nice guy. You don't have to be my friend back or anything, but I could help you with your program if you need it. Do you need help with any tasks?"

Oryan opened the door a crack. Sephiroth didn't notice until that moment, but the demon actually had teeth and lips inside his beak, "... My next task is that someone else has to bear witness to my capability to do good. If I become your friend, would you be a witness for me?"

Sephiroth had no idea what that meant. "Sure, whatever."

He was still hesitant. "... You don't want to steal my wings, do you?"

Sephiroth's face became ridiculous with incredulity. "Why would you think that? Was somebody talking shit about me? Who told you that?"

Oryan gulped, unable to lie. "Nobody. I was just afraid you might want my wings... because you're missing one."

"Oh." Sephiroth calmed down instantly. "I don't give a shit about that. And even if I did want another wing, yours wouldn't even match mine."

"Why do you hide it?" Oryan asked, not even seeing a bump on the back of Sephiroth's tank top.

"… How do you even know about it?"

"Because it's the truth," Oryan shrugged. "I always know the truth."

"Are you psychic or some shit? Do you know what I'm gonna say before I say it?"

Oryan rolled his large, round eyes. "No."

"Then how – "

"I really don't feel like explaining it."

"Fair enough. My wing is just a mutation left over from my life," Sephiroth admitted. "I'd rather pretend it isn't there. My boyfriend doesn't even know it's still there."

"I appreciate your honesty," Oryan's fingers tapped in thought on his door, which were capped in dark, talon-like nails. "I agree to be your friend, Sephiroth... but not the kind with benefits."

Sephiroth sputtered. "I'm not tryin' to fuck you! You know who I'm dating, right?"

His curls bounced as he nodded quickly. "I know exactly who you're dating. And I'd rather not give Cloud Strife a reason to be mad at me."

Sephiroth laughed. "Demons are afraid of Cloud?"

"Demons are afraid of everything."

Even though he'd done it just to fulfill a part of his program, Sephiroth found that he greatly enjoyed Oryan's company. He was the only person Sephiroth knew outside of the drama of his own miserable existence, and it was nice having brand new things to talk about.

"So did you like, actually tell Satan to eat shit?" Sephiroth had asked the next day. They were on Earth and Oryan was performing his little good deeds while Sephiroth took notes. Oryan's idea of a good deed was watching over a bird's nest while the mother was away, and ensuring the defenseless babies were not bothered. Sephiroth was bored to tears, and combated falling asleep by being an asshole.

"Yes," Oryan answered, tossing a rock towards two squirrels who became too curious about the contents of the nest he was guarding.

"… How did the shit eating summon come about? How does that actually make you appear somewhere?"

"It just sort of... happens."

"So you just got this sense that someone, somewhere was drowning in shit and you wanted to be a part of it?" Sephiroth laughed.

"You're a funny guy," Oryan commented, treating him to the musical laugh of the angel he'd once been. "Tell me the punchline to this joke: Did you choose to be summoned by sprinkling Jenova's semen onto your little brother's dying body?"

"... Ouch."

"Truth hurts," Oryan told him.

Sephiroth's crimes were far worse than a literal demon's, and dealing with that truth brought about emotions that didn't have names. He'd murdered thousands of men, women and children as a Shin-Ra General, and had been rewarded for doing so. He'd tortured the only person he'd ever really loved, physically and psychologically breaking Cloud until he was unrecognizable as the person he once was. He'd defied laws of nature, death and the Universe, just like a demon. And while Kadaj didn't have to eat actual shit to summon him, he'd pretty much let the poor little guy eat shit in a manner of speaking, once Cloud had defeated him.

Sephiroth didn't have to let Kadaj die. He just didn't care. And in all honesty, he still didn't. He was half expecting to run into one of his little brothers in this institution, but they were never even considered for admission. They were good people, merely misguided.

He was the one who belonged in the asylum, and Oryan being his neighbor was no accident. They were helping each other without really even knowing it, just as the Universe thought they would.

Oryan was learning that joining the crusade in Hell wasn't the worst thing ever, and he could be forgiven. And Sephiroth was learning that he was probably one of the most colossally horrible people to ever exist.

Even that horrible person could still be loved by Cloud Strife. And that horrible person could still make a friend.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Cloud kissed Sephiroth again and again, pulling his soft lips between his teeth as he yanked on the pockets of his pants to pull his groin closer. A film noir was playing on Sephiroth's wall, and soft piano accompaniment was the only other sound besides the barely noticeable hitch in Sephiroth's breath as Cloud worked his hands into his clothes.

Those in the Lifestream could have anything their minds could create, and that went for consumable entertainment as well.

On Cloud's second visit to Sephiroth in the mental asylum, they'd compiled a list together of every single movie that either of them had ever heard of, and went about watching every single one. It was doing something without doing anything. It was easy to talk, touch, laugh and be close under the guise of cinematic pursuit.

It was a very juvenile method of trying to smooth the mood to get laid. And Sephiroth really needed to get laid.

But living apart... it never felt like the right moment. It felt like they should wait until they were together again, totally free to express things to each other with their bodies that they'd been holding inside for decades.

At first Cloud kind of enjoyed the frustration of going home alone. Sephiroth was a master at those delicious, lingering goodbye kisses that made Cloud's back arch and knees shake. Sephiroth would always lean against his doorway and watch him as he walked all the way down the hallway and out of sight, still smiling from afar every time Cloud peeked over his shoulder.

Cloud often found himself smiling all the way home, where he'd cuddle into his pillows and dream about the day when it would be Sephiroth's warm body beside him. It was a sweet teenage feeling, and Cloud was so fucking over it.

If Sephiroth needed to get laid, Cloud was going to die again if he didn't get some dick soon.

So any time seemed like a good time to Cloud to find out what sex was like in the Lifestream. Cloud's hero had fallen pretty hard, but he was getting back up and it was inspirational and wonderful and Cloud wanted to be as close to him as skin could permit. He had a feeling being intimate in the Lifestream might let them be even closer than that, and it made Cloud's heart ache in lovesick anticipation.

The film's music lent itself to the mood. They had enough time left in the visit to get the job done right. Sephiroth's cock was practically rubbing him raw through his jeans. Why not now?

Cloud's overworked lips were sore as he broke away from their endless kiss. "Seph?"

"Hm?" He asked with lidded eyes, the entire area around his mouth bitten red.

He looked sexy and ravaged, and Cloud ran his thumb over his swollen lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Cloud wanted more than sex with this man. He didn't want to go home alone ever again. He wanted them to move in together, to be Sephiroth's army wife without all the army drama, to live out his dream of taking care of this beautiful man and making him happy forever.

Cloud took too long to respond, and Sephiroth's gray eyes fluttered shut as their mouths reconnected. It almost hurt to keep kissing, but it hurt more not to. Cloud led Sephiroth backwards with his lips until they landed in a comfortable, woefully clothed missionary position.

But through layers of clothes, Cloud could practically feel Sephiroth's heartbeat through the pulsing mass pressing from the inside of his zipper. Cloud knew he must have had a huge wet spot on the front of his pants; his cock had been leaking from the kisses, but the pressure and warmth from his boyfriend's body was escalating the situation into something miserable.

"Seph," Cloud whispered again, unable to help himself from rolling his lower body towards Sephiroth's to press their erections together in a very direct way.

Sephiroth began to gently, but steadily rock between his legs. Cloud couldn't contain a harsh moan of relief, and greedily jerked Sephiroth's head back into another kiss.

While his lips worked, he reached between them and arched up to pull his own shirt up to his chin, and broke contact only to pull it over his head and let it fall to the floor. Just the contact of Sephiroth's soft t-shirt against his bare chest was enough to give him goose bumps.

He swallowed another series of deep kisses from Sephiroth, waiting until the perfect lull to speak. It arrived when Sephiroth released his lips and began to kiss along his cheek. "... This feels so good."

"Mm-hm," Sephiroth agreed with a low sound in his throat.

"... Sephiroth?"

"What baby?" He responded, lifting his head to look at Cloud up close.

"I need you," Cloud admitted softly, slipping his fingers into Sephiroth's hair. He wasn't concerned with making love or anything remotely as meaningful as that. "... Fuck me."

In life, those two little words would have been all it took to get exactly what he wanted. But Sephiroth hesitated, and suddenly looked to the blank wall. "You didn't like that movie? Want me to pick another one?"

"No," Cloud groaned as his boyfriend's body tried to withdraw, and trapped him with his legs. "Don't do this to me."

"Do what to you?" He asked innocently, dragging heavy fingertips up Cloud's thighs as he settled back down on top of him.

"Don't pretend you don't need it, too," Cloud nuzzled his hips against Sephiroth's, looking up expectantly. "We're here, and I love you, and we don't have to wait for anything. Let's just go for it… I wanna make you feel good."

"Relax," Sephiroth suggested, pressing a small kiss to the tip of Cloud's nose as he lifted himself off of him. "We can wait a little more."

Cloud frowned, swallowing down a knot of disappointment. "How much longer?"

Sephiroth pulled away and sat up on the couch, adjusting the raging hardness in his pants. "As long as it takes."

Cloud gave him a sour glare. "As long as it takes until what? I die of sexual frustration?"

"Until I get out of this place."

Cloud put that awkwardness out of his mind, and closed any distance Sephiroth had tried to put between them. He hooked a leg over Sephiroth's lap and cuddled close. "I don't care about... you being here. I just want to feel you again... better than we used to."

His eyelids lowered as he stared down at Cloud. "How much would it suck to have sex right now and you have to go home without me?"

Cloud slid his palm across the thick erection pressing from inside Sephiroth's jeans. "Are you saying you'd fuck me tonight if I could stay here with you?"

A sly grin curled across his mouth. "I'd be very tempted."

"I can ask..." Cloud drawled desperately, running his fingertips over the hard outline of Sephiroth's cock through his pants. "... This whole place might not even be here if I didn't kill you. I think if I wanna stay past visiting time to get fucked, I should be allowed."

Sephiroth picked Cloud's hand up from his crotch and kissed it. "You're getting pretty used to this little celebrity thing you've got going on."

Cloud sighed. "This isn't gonna happen, is it?"

Sephiroth squinted one of his eyes in remorse. "I don't think so."

"I can't take this," Cloud whined, his head dropping back in defeat as their embrace became chaste.

Sephiroth smoothed Cloud's hair back, trying to calm his lover although his own hands were trembling a little bit. Any sexual frustration Cloud was feeling was nothing compared to the agony of his lover begging for sex, but feeling unable to give it to him. "Sorry, baby. It feels... wrong."

"Why does it feel wrong?"

Sephiroth quickly rubbed his hands over Cloud's arms, "It's nothing about you. This place just feels like... it's like we're trying to do it upstairs at my parent's house."

"How would you know anything about being upstairs at your parent's house?" Cloud laughed.

"I fucked you at your mom's house on your birthday that one time. That was a pretty stressful ten minutes for me."

"Oh that's right... I forgot all about that! That was pretty hot, actually..." Cloud's eyes drew shut as a long forgotten memory came back of hushed moans and his squeaking mattress. To combat the noise, Sephiroth had picked him up and held him against the wall, and then eventually on top of his childhood desk. It was only a little birthday quickie, but it felt so good to be fucked in the very room where Cloud had fantasized about Sephiroth every single night as a young teenager. And even after Nibelheim was burned to the ground, Cloud still fantasized about Sephiroth during his lifetime while masturbating or having sex, though he'd always felt horrible guilt about it.

Oddly enough, that guilt made the pressure in Cloud's jeans become even worse. Cloud rubbed his forehead where a headache from sexual frustration was collecting, "Let's talk about something else."

"... Yeah," Sephiroth agreed thoughtfully, clearly seeing visions behind his eyes. He blinked them away, and smiled down at Cloud. "Trust me, though. Going home is gonna be so much better than doing it here."

"Come home, then..." Cloud reached up to stroke Sephiroth's hair behind his ear. "What's the worst they can do if I took you out of here?"

Sephiroth kissed his forehead apologetically. "I have more to do."

"You coming here at all was just bad advice from a bunch of overly concerned assholes!"

"It was good advice," Sephiroth insisted. "It's not like we don't have time to spare to do this right."

"I don't need any more time."

"I need a little more time here, or else they would have let me go."

Cloud huffed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well..." Sephiroth rubbed his hand across the soft, warm skin of Cloud's back. He was glad this topic had finally come up. "I have a new task, actually. It involves you again."

"Anything that isn't too humiliating?"

"Couple's therapy."

Cloud let out a drawn out, humorless laugh, "No! I won't do it. I'm drawing the line."

Sephiroth's nose wrinkled. "Considering you're stuck being my soulmate, they'd like to talk to you about me. About us..."

"We have our own therapy going on," Cloud motioned towards the blank wall where a movie was usually playing.

"I guess they don't think watching movies together and dry humping every night is enough," Sephiroth shrugged. "I mean... it is forever that we're throwing around. Maybe they see something we don't. Maybe you're not..."

"What?"

"Maybe our terms weren't enough."

Like every time that Cloud visited, a knock came to the door to signal that their time was almost up. They nurse made rounds three times, and if Cloud wasn't out by the third knock, they used a key to open the door and shoo him out. Cloud had been forced to pull on his shirt and shoes and adjust his boner in front of an impatient nurse many times.

Cloud sighed, getting up to collect his shirt, jacket, and shoes, and put them on in that order. "I'll think about the therapy thing."

Sephiroth watched him redress with a quiet sadness. "Don't think too hard about it, because we have to do it."

"…I know. It's just the last piece of my pride resisting."

Sephiroth didn't want to listen to Cloud whine about pride considering everything he'd had to do since coming to the asylum. "It won't be that bad."

Cloud leaned over him, giving him several quick kisses before one final one on his forehead. "To get you home, I'll do anything."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-`

Aerith sat across from them. She noticed how each man's body language was stiff, but pointed towards each other to seek out as much comfort as possible. When compared to the state Cloud had woken up in the Lifestream in, it was really nice to see them so close again and sitting next to each other like… people.

After picking up as much information as possible from the two without words, she flashed an enthusiastic smile. "Loosen up, guys! This is couple's therapy! It's fun!"

"Hm," Sephiroth grunted.

"Fun," Cloud shifted a little in discomfort. He saw Aerith and Zack almost every day, and sometimes talked about Sephiroth, the past, and more delicate things like love and feelings. But no more than little comments, because they were always in a good mood and those topics just seemed to bring everyone down.

Aerith crossed her legs up underneath her body, and balanced the clipboard on her lap. "So, we haven't all had a chance to sit down and talk together, yet. Give me all the gossip, how have things been?"

"Great," Sephiroth said.

"Awful!" Cloud said simultaneously.

"What?" Sephiroth barked at him.

"There are two very different opinions," Aerith clicked open her pen and leaning over her clipboard. "Cloud, why's it been awful?"

"Hey don't write anything," Sephiroth told her, then threw an annoyed glance at Cloud as he spoke out of the side of his mouth. "We're doing this to get me outta here, why are you bein' a brat already?"

"I'm being honest. This asylum sucks ass, and I'm tired of living this way."

"That's fair enough," Aerith agreed. "Sephiroth, Cloud's allowed to have feelings."

"Oh shut it," Sephiroth waved her silent as he smacked Cloud's knee. "Look, can you just fake this please? We're fine, everything's great, let's all go home."

Cloud smacked Sephiroth's knee much harder, "So you admit that's what you do here? What's the point of that, anyway? It really makes me furious that you're just playing into all this garbage."

Sephiroth smacked Cloud's elbow, messing up the way he had his arms crossed, "I'm doing everything I can possibly think of to wrap this up so we can be fucking happy together."

Cloud didn't smack him back, "You shouldn't have agreed to come here in the first place. We could have just left Purgatory and went..."

Sephiroth gave a vivid shrug when Cloud didn't complete his sentence. "Where?"

"I dunno," Cloud crossed his arms again.

"You have enough actual reasons to be mad at me, you don't have to just make up bullshit ones," Sephiroth dismissed, and then spoke to Aerith. "We've had this fight a million times by now, ya know. He's bein' a drama queen now that he has an audience."

"It's less of a fight and more of a conversation with a mediator," she noted, writing on her clipboard. "Cloud, I understand you resent Sephiroth being held here. But how would you have wanted things to go if you had the power to decide?"

"We would have just stayed in Purgatory. It was... really, really nice there…" Cloud's teeth snapped down on his lower lip when it began to shake. "I don't know what I'm getting so emotional right now, I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing about crying in front of me? Cloud Strife, you know I live for men coming to terms with their feelings."

That made Cloud laugh a little, and he wiped his eyes with a brave nod as more tears fell. "Okay, bitch. You've got me crying."

She smiled at him. "So what did you like so much about Purgatory?"

Cloud's lip began to tremble again as he pondered the answer. "We made our old apartment and it felt just like being home again. I would pretend all the time that we were in Midgar and that… we were just spending the weekend together, only the weekend never had to end. It was just the two of us. That was how things were supposed to be. It was really easy to pretend I was eighteen again."

"You always were very good at hiding in your own head," Aerith told him, taking no pleasure in bringing up the worst times in Cloud's life on Earth. "That's your favorite coping mechanism, isn't it?"

"I guess so," Cloud whispered, helping himself to a tissue as it seemed the tears were there to stay.

"There's great news about that!" She told him cheerfully. "Your life here is just starting, and it's real. There's no need to go to the past to hide from pain, because you've got a brand new start that isn't going to be interrupted by anyone's death."

"I know you're right," Cloud choked out before beginning to silently sob into a tissue.

Sephiroth scooted a bit closer to him then, rubbing a hand across his back as gently as if he was a bomb about to detonate. "Why are you crying like this?"

"I don't know," Cloud said into the tissue, reaching out to grab a few more when the one he had was soaked.

Aerith frowned. "Cloud, you've got to let go of the past. It's all over, now. What do you have to gain by holding on to all of this pain?"

"I just..." Cloud struggled to put it into words. "I want to let go. But every time I think I have, I remember how it felt to lose everything and everyone. I hated my life so much, I wanted to die every day."

"Nothing like that will happen to you again," Sephiroth promised him, looking a little wild and helpless and willing to say anything to stop Cloud's tears. "I can't do that again, baby. I won't."

"If you're not crazy, then why do I even exist?" Cloud sobbed.

"Why do you need a reason to exist?" Aerith asked him gently.

Cloud wiped the corners of his eyes. "I'm alone in an empty house and I can't not remember how it used to be during my life. Everyone died but me, and I hated you all so much for leaving me like that."

"You did everything you were supposed to do!" Aerith told him. "You're a hero, Cloud. Don't you know how much everyone loves you?"

"Then why couldn't I ever figure out how to be happy?" Cloud wondered aloud.

"Because you're a brat," Sephiroth muttered.

"Because you haven't gotten to really talk about it until now," Aerith answered, leveling Sephiroth a harsh glare. "Nobody on earth was capable of understanding what you went through."

"They all said I should be happy because I was a… hero," Cloud's voice broke on that final word. "I was a hero for killing Sephiroth. I didn't know how to tell anyone that all I wanted was to die, to be with him... And I wanted to be with you, Zack, and my mom. But I figured if I was still alive, there must be a threat of some kind. But now that I'm dead... Why am I still around?"

"You're not dead," Sephiroth told him for the hundredth time since his arrival in the Lifestream.

"He's right, you know," Aerith added. "You're not dead."

"Why am I here?" Cloud repeated.

"Think of your life on Earth as a…" Aerith searched for an appropriate term. "… Primary school."

"What was I supposed to learn from all that?"

"I can't tell you that," Aerith frowned. "Nobody can. You just… did what you were created to do. Nobody could have done it but you."

"If I was created to kill Sephiroth… why do I have to love him so much?" Cloud wondered. "Why did that have to be part of the deal?"

Aerith smirked, "Nobody made you feel any kind of way about Sephiroth. You did that all on your own. Personally, I don't even know what you see in him. He's a total ass."

Cloud's eyes were wet, and they slid to regard Sephiroth. "… Yeah, but he's good at it."

Sephiroth accepted the compliment for what it was, and smiled at Cloud without saying anything. He didn't want to get too touchy-feeling in front of Aerith, but took the time to wipe Cloud's tears off his face with rough, businesslike thumbs. Once Cloud's face was relatively dry, he couldn't resist leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Cloud closed his eyes at the feeling of soft lips on his skin and warm breath against his hairline. He knew he wasn't dead, and knew that the permanence of Sephiroth in his life wasn't threatened by a short stay in this stupid asylum. It was a formality, and one that would ensure the best possible life for Sephiroth. He swallowed another lump in his throat and let out a small, strangled sound before words came out. "Uhm… Sephiroth?"

"Hm?" He asked, pulling away.

"Do you… have anything you need to say?" Cloud finally asked. "How are you feeling about everything? Is there anything you need to talk about?"

"This therapy session is for you both of you," Aerith agreed. "Please just let out anything on your mind, Seph."

Sephiroth looked between the two of them, and finally addressed his own personal elephant in the room. "Did you two ever fuck?"

That was the last thing either of them expected to hear, and together they both made a squawk of a noise.

Cloud sputtered, "What?"

Aerith was equally as astounded, "Seph!"

"It's a fair question," he responded calmly. "You two dated for a minute. Jenova and I couldn't control or see every little thing Cloud did at that time. Did you two ever fuck?"

"No way! We weren't even actually dating…" Cloud insisted.

Aerith was tapping her pen angrily. "Oh, really?"

Sephiroth made a conceited noise of triumph. "I knew it."

"We did not have sex," Cloud said in plain terms.

"I'd consider what you did to me fairly intimate," she narrowed her eyes.

"I was so… fucking… mixed up at that time," Cloud's chest was rising and falling as a very new sort of anxiety settled on him. "I didn't know who the fuck I was! I thought I was someone else, and I thought I liked girls, I thought I liked you –"

Aerith gasped in true pain. "You didn't even like me? I understand you're gay, but I thought you at least liked me!"

"Of course I like you, Aerith – I love you! You're gorgeous! You're like a sister to me!" Cloud cried out in desperate humiliation. "I'm so sorry, I've never even considered your feelings about our fake relationship thing at all! I just figured once you knew I was crazy and stuff… you kinda got over it?"

One of Aerith's shoulders shrugged a bit. "I guess I always wondered… you know. What if things were different? What it'd be like if it was you and me."

Cloud leaned forward and clasped her hands, "My brain is so, so in love with you for everything you did for me and… you mean so much to me. But for some stupid reason, my heart has always loved… him. I can't help it!"

"Hmf," Sephiroth snorted.

"You better shut up before you're in the doghouse with two people," Aerith advised, slipping her hands out of Cloud's and looking at her nails.

"I mean it, Aerith. Zack is such a lucky man," Cloud told her in earnest. "… I'm just not good for girls, you know that."

"Oh yeah! I found that out the hard way," Aerith huffed hotly.

Sephiroth was very intrigued. "I hope you two did something really nasty, or I'm gonna be disappointed by all this build up."

"We made out a few times," Cloud admitted.

"A lot of times!" Aerith added. "With a lot of hands! And a lot of sexual frustration for me!"

Cloud had no defense of his actions. "I guess I like boobs…"

"I'm well aware," Sephiroth nodded at Aerith, pointing to the deep v-neck cut of his shirt that showed off his collarbone and a splash of skin stretched over his pectorals.

"Shut up, Seph," Cloud gulped, his eyes lingering on the view for a moment before he tore them away. "So we messed around a little bit, but one time it went further … um. I put my… finger… in her… well, I tried to put my finger in her…"

Sephiroth lost patience, "Pussy?"

Cloud was deep red. "No, I didn't even see that part of her."

"You never touched it, either..." Aerith grumbled. "Tell Sephiroth what you did to me!"

"We were like, kind of kissing. And she sort of… um, body language invited me to do things in like… this region," Cloud sighed and gave a vague motion towards his lap. "And put my hand uh, down the back of her panties. And I put one finger – just one! And not even all the way! – in her… um. Her…"

Aerith completed the sentence with a shrill screech : "My ass!"

Sephiroth gasped a sharp intake of air before he burst out into gleeful laughter.

Cloud held his head in his hands and shouted over his roaring boyfriend. "I'm sorry! I told you I was sorry then, too!"

Aerith had no pity for him on this topic. "You are the worst boyfriend, ever! I kicked you out of my tent and put you on a five day probation!"

"You had every right to!" Cloud wailed in misery.

"Then your ex-boyfriend killed me!" Aerith pointed at Sephiroth with her pen.

"I killed you during Cloud's anal fingering probation?" Sephiroth was howling. "I'm so fucking glad I brought this up!"

Cloud knew there was no defending his sexually and identity-confused former self. "I'm sorry! I thought I was Zack!"

"Zack would never do that without asking!" Aerith shouted back, any pretend anger gone from her face as she tried to mask a grin.

"He didn't even ask?" Sephiroth could literally not laugh any harder. "You didn't… even… ask?"

Cloud helplessly joined in on the laughter, because he had no more tears to shed. "I'm a terrible person! I'm sorry!"

Aerith was now lost in laughter as well. "Cloud, sweetheart I'm teasing you! All's forgotten, please don't feel bad."

Cloud got up and went to her, giving her a solid hug before taking her hand and giving it several chaste kisses. "I forgot all about this shit, and I never even thought about how you felt and - "

"I forgive you, already! Get off me!" She giggled, pushing him back towards his boyfriend, who caught him with open arms.

Sephiroth pulled Cloud right into his lap, "You know… If memory serves, you don't ever ask before you shove fingers up my ass either."

"I must have a problem," Cloud smiled, giving Sephiroth's a quick kiss.

"Communication and boundaries are key during sex, Cloud," Aerith giggled, writing on her clipboard. "But we should save that for another therapy session, though. Sephiroth, do you have anything else on your mind right now that you need to discuss before we wrap it up? Something other than mine and Cloud's failed romance?"

Sephiroth's stomach was still burning from laughter. "Hm… I guess I just want Cloud to understand why I'm here."

"I know," Cloud interrupted. "I do get it. I'm just a selfish brat, and impatient."

"Yeah I know that," Sephiroth agreed. "But I guess… I want you to know I'm doing this for you. I couldn't give a shit about the Lifestream, I never cared about whatever the fuck they've got going on outside these walls. I never cared about anyone or anything but you, Cloud. All I wanted was to be in your life, and if the only way I could was as someone for you to fight, that was better than being alone forever. But they're giving me a chance here, and if doing little tasks and little feel-good therapy sessions is what it takes to really be with you, I'm happy to do it. I mean… you have no idea how much shit I take every day from the scumbags who are locked up in this place. It was tough when I first got here, but now I just let it slide off my back like I did in the military. Because I know at the end of the day I'm gonna get to see you. And then one day they're finally gonna cut me loose, and it'll be just you and me again."

"It's so hard, though," Cloud whispered.

"This is easy, Cloud. Compared to what I was prepared to do before Purgatory just to get near you… this is easy. This is better."

"This is much better," Cloud agreed, his voice breaking as he pressed his face against Sephiroth's neck.

"I like kissing you more than fighting you," Sephiroth admitted. "… But I still like fighting you."

"I like it, too."

"Have you two fought since Cloud's arrival in the Lifestream?" Aerith asked.

Sephiroth huffed, "In Purgatory we were lucky to have enough energy to take a shower."

"Would you be interested in a match up?" she asked, writing quickly on her clipboard. "I can suggest it to the gym here in the asylum. They'll probably let you have it out, and you should sharpen up on the physical activity."

With lifted eyebrows, Cloud frowned at Sephiroth in thought. "Hm. I might be a little rusty… but I'm up for it!"

"You wanna go, Strife?" Sephiroth asked, his eyes lidded with heavy flirtation.

"… Yeah," Cloud smiled, craning his neck up to peck his lips. "If they let us, let's do it."

Sephiroth responded with another kiss, and after a few moments of forgetting Aerith was in the room, she finally broke the romantic silence with a giggle. "Alright, that's enough for today. You did great, guys."

"Are we done, already?" Cloud whined, clinging to Sephiroth's side. "It was just getting fun!"

"Honestly, I think you two are fine without the therapy," Aerith told them. "But this was a good talk. We can do it again if you guys want?"

They looked at each other. Sephiroth shrugged, "It's up to you, baby."

Cloud nodded, "I'd like to talk again. I feel really good right now!"

"You got it," Aerith grinned. "And pretty soon, we'll be doing it at our house with Zack over coffee and cookies, and not in this place. Sephiroth's doing fantastic with his progress here."

"I am?" he inquired doubtfully.

"That's what I'm told," Aerith wrote for a short while on her clipboard, absorbed with the task. "Cloud? Would you mind stepping outside for a few minutes? I just wanna talk to Sephiroth."

"About me?" Cloud stuck out his tongue.

"Anything we have to say about you, we can say to your face. We'll be just a minute."

"Alright," Cloud held Sephiroth's hand until he was too far to touch him, and quietly closed the door behind himself.

"That was great, Sephiroth. You're becoming a real sweetheart, you know. Well done," She beamed, reaching over to cup his hand. It was especially nice to touch him and not feel the taint of Jenova on his skin. "I have your next task for you if you're ready to hear it? You have to do it next time you see Cloud, which will be early tomorrow afternoon, not normal visiting hours. It's something special for you two."

"Is it sex?" he joked.

"No, but I think it might be the next best thing for you two."

"What?"

"The fight. You're gonna fight him tomorrow, it's already arranged with the gym... this therapy session was more a suggestive sell for a matchup. And I didn't even have to sell you on the idea, you two brought it up yourselves… you want to fight him don't you?" Aerith's smile tightening into something a little more cunning. "Kill him."

"What?"

Her smile disappeared. "Kill him."

Sephiroth was stunned. He could only repeat himself, "… What?"

"Your next task is to kill Cloud," Aerith told him again. "That's your final task if you can follow through with it. If you don't really try to kill him, you're going to have to wait until the Universe comes up with something else for you. It might be a while, or it might not… just depends on you."

Sephiroth stared at her for a moment before his eyes narrowed. "This is so transparent. You want me to throw the fight, to show that I'd rather rot in this hellhole than kill Cloud to get my freedom. C'mon Aerith, you know I'm not gonna fall for this shit."

"I'm not bullshitting you. The Universe wants you to kill Cloud – or at least give a solid effort to try."

"… Why?"

"Because the gym director is out in the hallway telling Cloud the same thing right now," Aerith told him. "Now that you're both rested, adjusted to what reality is like here, and in good health… we're just curious about who'll come out on top in an even match up. Who has the guts to go all the way? Who's actually stronger? You know that death is impossible here… but you can do a lot of damage. None of it permanent, of course… but when we say we want you to fight to the death, we really mean it. No Jenova mutations or Mako to help either of you, just your bodies, your minds, and your skill. So if you can give your all in a fight against Cloud here on these grounds, we'll know what to expect from you two on the outside. I'm sure you're going to get into all kinds of trouble. The Universe just wants to know what it's in for… if anything. Maybe it was Mako and Jenova all along. Or maybe you two really are that good. We want to know… and the only way to know is if you go in with the intention to kill each other."

Cloud was in the hallway, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes flashed when Sephiroth appeared in the doorway, and he stood more alert.

"She tell you?" Cloud asked, none of the lighthearted chirp in his voice.

Instead of answering, Sephiroth circled Cloud. He smirked down at his height, his slender form, and his youthful appearance – this wasn't the well-oiled fighting machine that Cloud had become with age and experience. This was the Cloud that had failed the SOLDIER exam and cried all summer break while watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch DVD's in his pajamas. "You're young. You're small. Your muscles might carry memory, but they aren't going to swing that buster sword or Tsurugi for you. I bet you couldn't even pick it up."

Cloud circled the opposite way, noting the distinct lack of bulky muscle on Sephiroth's sturdier, taller frame. "You're out of shape. Awkwardly proportioned. All skinny legs and arms, like a fucking scarecrow."

Sephiroth felt the heat of true offense. "You don't have your limit breaks anymore. More specifically, the only one that ever actually worked on me."

"You don't have your bullshit mutated forms, either."

Sephiroth was mutated, though. He had been sitting on this secret for a long time, and he couldn't wait to reveal it. "The only form I ever needed to beat you was shirtless."

Cloud snorted, "You don't have that good of a body, anymore. Or poor little Kadaj do to half the work for you."

"Like you had your pathetic civilian friends do half the work for you?" Sephiroth fired back.

"I'm not sick or under your control this time," Cloud countered.

"You're always gonna be under my control, and you know it."

Cloud stepped forward and slammed Sephiroth into the wall, one hand going up underneath his chin to grip his neck while the other grabbed onto the front of his pants. His fingers sank into warm leather, and Cloud swallowed to gain his voice. "You'd better not get cocky and fuck this up for me. I want you out of this place and home with me tomorrow night… If you ruin this, I'm putting you on a… five day visit probation. I mean it."

Sephiroth smiled at his boyfriend's finely tuned demonstration of dominant rage, because it was mostly just that good old Strife bravado with nothing underneath it but the best of intentions. Cloud had forgotten how to be hard with all the squishy therapeutic talk they'd been drowning in lately.

Loathing Cloud felt just as natural to Sephiroth as loving him, and he slipped into it like a comfortable sweater as he sneered down his nose. "I'm gonna slaughter you, you little wannabe SOLDIER runt pig… you failed the exam. You're Infantry. You're nothing. You disgust me. I'm gonna fucking murder you. And then I'm gonna take you home… and I'm gonna murder you all over again, baby."

Cloud shivered as lust rolled off his lover's body in hot waves, and he tightened his grip on Sephiroth's neck. "You'd better stop thinking about that second murder, and get focused on the first one. Do it like you mean it."

"I do mean it," Sephiroth whispered, and his voice dropped even lower. "When I finally get you home alone, you'll beg me to kill you."

Cloud felt a sudden drop in his groin as his cock began to ache. He was shocked, angry, and experiencing a rush of dark lust the likes of which he hadn't felt in decades. If Sephiroth was going all the way, Cloud was going all the way with him. This was what their love was all about, and his mouth formed familiar words. "… I hate you, Sephiroth."

"I hate you, Cloud…" Sephiroth replied, letting the words stick to his lips as almost no sound came out from between.

It took everything not to cover those lips in a kiss, and that mix of fear, desire, and resentment for never being the emotionally harder of the two boiled up in Cloud and spewed out. "You are a fucking soulless parasite. You don't even feel anything as much as I hate you."

"Are you gonna do something about it?" Sephiroth asked.

"I'm gonna kill you again, General Sephiroth. I don't even have to this time. I want to. I like to. Destroying you is my purpose, and I'll do it as many time as I have to until you understand who you belong to."

"Mm, there he is," Sephiroth murmured, his gaze filled with the darkest parts of love. "There's my boy."

Cloud gasped in disbelief, as he was actually in danger of blowing a load in his pants standing there in the hallway. His teeth bit his lips into a snarl, but his eyes were desperate and watery, "Let's go to your room real quick."

"Go home," Sephiroth ordered, shoving Cloud off of him as though his grip had carried the weight of a pesky insect.

Cloud was left in the hallway to watch him leave, shaking from the devastation of how much he wanted that man to come back and say more of those dark, dirty things to him. Cloud let out a feral growl. "Fuck you, Sephiroth!"

He turned around, walking backwards with a smile and a middle finger raised. "Go fuck yourself, Strife."

Cloud broke into a smile, and threw up the dirtiest, most offensive hand gesture from Nibelheim. It carried the power of a hundred middle fingers, and Sephiroth knew what it meant. He blew Cloud a taunting kiss goodbye before turning around and heading quickly to his room.

Sephiroth needed to talk to Oryan, because he was going to need help from a demon if he was going to bring his A-game to a real fight against Cloud.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N

Well this story has become a little fun pleasure for me, haha. I'm having a good time writing it, and hopefully it's an entertaining read. I didn't commit to this chapter when I finished the last one because I didn't know if I had anything more to say about the afterlife, but it turns out I have a WHOLE LOT to say about it! There will be at least two more chapters of this, but I can't give an exact time frame because Recruiters and Blonde Ambition both need to be updated at this point so I wanna put all my effort into that. Just stay tuned! It might be a while but this little cliffhanger won't last forever :D