The Gestaltation of Severus Snape

by The Gestalt Prince

After his death, Severus Snape is granted a chance to return to the past and atone for his sins, with one notable restriction: he must share a body with his younger self. Cross-posted on Archive of Our Own and Wattpad.

18. ACT II, Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Christmas, 1976

Regulus I

Thursday, 16 December 1976

7:30. That was the time Regulus had to be in the Owlery to collect the book. He was still having trouble understanding what was going on, especially regarding the author of the letter. Clearly, the author knew Lucius on some level, and he or she knew about Lucius's plan. In any case, he had to be cautious until he knew for certainty what was going on.

Regulus already had a reason to go to the Owlery tonight: Christmas letters to all his fellow Slytherins. He knew none of them actually celebrated Christmas; while most used to celebrate Yule, they had started reserving the holiday for more important things, particularly with one very specific person. The Dark Lord had declared that more emphasis should be placed on the New Year; it was supposed to represent the death of the old world and the birth of a new one. But that wasn't something Regulus would have written in his letters. A simple 'happy Christmas' or 'happy Yule' would do.

Before Regulus reached the final step, someone walked out in front of him. He almost stumbled back from surprise, but the girl in front of him steadied him. It was Evans.

"Evans." Regulus calmed himself. Perhaps it was a coincidence that she was here, although it was her cauldron he had placed the book into. "You startled me."

"Sorry," Evans replied coolly. "I was sending letters."

"We're of the same mind," Regulus said, drawing attention to the book bag he was carrying. It would be a good place to store the book. "I take it your exams have gone well?"

"Smoothly," Evans said.

"I suppose Snape must have done well," Regulus continued.

"Well," Evans said, "considering he has thirteen classes to take exams for, I should hope so."

The news of Snape's schedule had come as an absolute shock to Regulus when he'd heard it the first time. At first, he hadn't believed it, but more and more people were starting to talk about it, especially with the attacks. There was no way Snape could have carried them out, and yet everything pointed to him, somehow. If he was the Half-Blood Prince, and if he was unleashing the monster within the Chamber of Secrets, and if he was the Dark Lord's enemy-

"Black?"

Regulus returned to reality. "My apologies. I should let you go on your way." He stepped to the side, and Evans passed by him without a word.

Regulus calmly rushed into the Owlery and began looking under his owl's nest, and there it was: the black book… and something else. His eyes widened at the sight of it, and it was at this point that he knew for a fact who had written to him.

It had to be Evans.

Nothing made sense anymore. Of all the people who could have written the letter, Evans was precisely the last person anyone would think of. That was hyperbole, but the sentiment remained. But the letter wasn't even in her handwriting. He had taken note of her handwriting before, as it was something the other Slytherins had taught him; memorizing someone's handwriting was a ticket into higher forms of manipulation. But this wasn't her handwriting. It was someone else's, but it couldn't be. Because the object sitting next to the book was something only one person in the entire school had, and Slughorn had been very outspoken about it.

Regulus set the letters in the claws of his owl, and it flew away. Collecting himself, he took the book and put it in the bag. And beside it, he placed the almost-full vial of felix felicis.

---

Lily I

Saturday, 18 December 1976

Lily had finished packing her bags for the train home, but she had decided to keep the book and liquid luck locked away in her desk drawer. She opened it once, just to make sure it was there, and she found that they were. She hadn't spoken to Tom since their last argument about Severus, and that was over a month ago. She didn't know why she didn't just throw the stupid book away; it wasn't like it was a real person to begin with. But there was something about Tom that made Lily feel safe. He was someone she could confess her secrets to, and there was no way of anyone finding out.

But the more they talked, the more Lily thought she should step away, but only for the holiday. She was determined to push thoughts of the book out of her head, as she had been doing for the past month. Unless she was looking directly at it, she never thought of it. That was a good sign.

Lily hurried down the steps and found James and Remus playing wizards' chess while Marlene and Sirius snogging, something which she still had getting used to. Mary still wasn't talking to Marlene, and it seemed as though Sirius had taken the opportunity to step in. "Are you ready to go?" Lily asked, interrupting them.

Marlene pulled away, looking flushed. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, my things are already downstairs. You?"

"Just taking them now," Lily said. "Remus, are you ready?"

"I was waiting for you." Remus put James into checkmate before standing.

"Do you need help with your bags?" James asked Lily.

"No, I can take them."

"I'll take them." James got up and walked over to Lily, grabbing them for her.

"No, James, I-"

"Already done!" James was too fast, and Lily found that her trunk had been swiped from her. "Let's go!"

"James!" Lily let out a sigh of defeat as she grabbed her other two bags and hurried after him, and Remus, Marlene, and Sirius were close behind.

Eventually, all five of them found themselves with the other luggage, along with everyone going home for the holiday. Lily looked around to find Mary, and she found the girl sitting on one of the wagons, with Severus standing beside her and talking. Mary, having just been accepted into the Slug Club for her rapid improvement in Potions, was thrilled to attend the Christmas party; when asked whom she would bring as her date, she said she was going alone.

Lily approached the wagon where Mary and Severus were, and she said, "Are you ready for the holiday?"

Mary was beaming with joy. "Mum wrote back to me and said she had a special present for me! She never says anything like that."

"Does she know you're in the Slug Club?" Severus asked.

"It was in my last letter," Mary answered. "Do you think that's the reason?"

"It might be, or she simply wanted to give you something special." Severus turned to Lily and said, "I have to meet with Slughorn before the party starts. With your Prefect rounds, he thinks I'm the next best person to help him prepare everything."

"I shouldn't be long," Lily reassured him. Ever since he'd admitted he didn't like being in the club, Lily had started to worry about him. It made her feel worse, knowing that she was the only reason he attended any of the parties. "You'll-"

"Where should I put the bag?" Lily groaned as James walked up. "Alright, Mary? Snape?"

"I'm well," Mary said coolly.

"Fantastic," Severus said coldly.

Lily nudged Severus a little for him to behave, but she was only met by a hard side glance. She said to James, "Well, thank you for bringing my trunk down. Even though I didn't ask you to."

"Of course!" James ran his fingers through his hair to mess it up, giving him a more boyish look. "Happy Christmas, Lily. I'll send a card. You'll send one to me, right?"

Lily wanted to say no, but she couldn't. Not after James had gone through the trouble of bringing her trunk down. "I will," she said reluctantly.

James grinned warmly and waved as he left.

Lily turned back to Severus and said, "He's not getting in the way, alright?"

"He better not," Severus replied. He hadn't looked away from James, even after he had walked away.

"Let's focus on the party," Mary suggested.

"Ah, that's significantly better," Severus said dryly.

"No need to be grumpy," Mary teased. "We have a few weeks without any schoolwork! That should give you some time to rest."

"I have to go through the house and clean up," Severus said. "I haven't been back since spring."

"Oh." Mary's voice was somber. "If you need help from anyone-"

"Dumbledore will meet me there tomorrow evening," Severus explained. "And Snarky will be there as well."

Mary nodded and smiled. "Well, that's good, right?"

Severus nodded reluctantly, but Lily could tell he was irritated. Mary hadn't even said anything that could be irritating. Severus said, "Right. And I have Christmas with Lily and her family…. Lily, should I bring anything?"

Lily wasn't sure how to answer. "You don't have to if you can't- there's nothing- we have everything we need-"

"I'm not poor, you know," Severus said defensively. "I have an allowance now."

"... now?"

Severus froze at Mary's question. "Nevermind," Severus quickly said. He looked around and asked, "When are these damn wagons leaving?"

"Language, Mr. Snape," Mary said.

Severus rolled his eyes and sat down on the wagon, causing a few students on the wagon, save Mary, to inch away from him. He muttered, "Stupid thestrals."

"What?"

"Nothing," Severus said. "Just talking to myself."

Eventually, the wagons were on their way to Hogsmeade, and Lily took the time to take in the snow that was beginning to fall. Hogwarts was beautiful around Christmas time, although she never stayed for the holiday. She was looking to go home, help decorate the house, cook the Christmas dinner, and watch the telly with Mum and Dad. Tuney used to watch as well, but now that she'd moved to London, there was one less Evans girl on the couch.

The wagons arrived, and Lily got off and said to the students on her wagon, "Please walk single-file until we reach the compartments." She nudged Mary and said, "I'll see you at the party."

"Don't take too long," Mary said, grinning. With that, she made her way into one of the compartment doors.

Severus was the last one off the wagon. "How long do you think you'll be?"

"Possibly an hour," Lily replied. "I have the first shift."

"I'll see you in an hour, then." With that, Severus boarded the train and made his way to Slughorn's compartment.

Lily took the time to ferry students onto the train, scolding a group for overcrowding one of the entrances, finding forgotten carry-ons and returning them to their owners, and making sure no one was crowding the corridor. Before she knew it, an hour had passed, and it was time for her to go to Compartment C for the party.

Lily quickly changed out of her Hogwarts uniform and put on a warm dress with long sleeves. It made her look homely, but winter was coming, and she wasn't going to freeze to death just to impress anyone. She wondered if Severus had changed into anything while he was helping with setting up the party.

As Lily left the cabin where she had changed and moved through the train's corridor, one of the doors opened, and a voice called out, "Lily!"

Lily turned and found James standing behind her. "Yes?"

"Spare a minute?"

Lily let out a tired sigh and asked, "What is it?"

"Sirius told me he and Marlene were going to that Christmas party, and I was wondering-"

"I already have a date," Lily replied. "Severus asked me."

There was an odd look on James's face for a moment before he said, "Well, I guess he didn't want to go alone, right?"

"I have to meet up with him," Lily said. "He's been helping with preparations."

"Come on, Lily," James said, gesturing into the cabin. "Five minutes of exploding snap?"

"You won't stop until I say 'yes'."

"Precisely."

Lily didn't want to keep this up. She walked over to James and nodded. "Five minutes, then."

James grinned and moved out of the way, and she found Remus sitting across from Peter. Both gave small waves to Lily, and Peter quickly said, "I just need to use the loo."

"That's why you shouldn't have eaten anything before we got on the train," James reprimanded.

Peter looked away as he left the cabin, clearly unhappy with what James had said.

"That was a bit uncalled for," Lily commented.

"Peter gets motion sick," Remus explained. "Food always makes it worse."

"He's starting to fall back into old habits," James muttered. His demeanor brightened as he asked, "So, shall we?"

Lily joined the boys for a game of exploding snap, and Peter returned just in time for a second game. While Lily had only meant to play to appease James, she found the game to be fun, especially with people as energetic as these three. Remus was subdued but focused, while Peter was always on the edge of his seat. James, on the other hand, was obsessed with the rules, and he would constantly reprimand Peter for messing up. He also had a bit of a sore loser… and a sore winner. But whenever he won, he shot a wink and a smile at Lily. Lily returned the smile to be polite, but her face felt warm….

Eventually, as Peter won the next game, Lily got up and said, "I should go and see how Severus is doing."

"Alright," James said, nodding. "Have fun at the party, Lily."

"Happy Christmas, James."

Lily left the cabin and walked to Compartment C. As she did, she thought about how much James had changed. He was cordial, charming, a proper gentleman at times, and he seemed to be good to his friends, although sometimes he was a bit rough with Peter. She could tell that Severus still bothered him a bit; unlike Severus, however, James didn't react too negatively whenever he heard the other's name. But she remembered what Mary had told her. Severus was working hard; he was getting better. Maybe it was too much to expect right now, but he wanted to believe that he could make amends with James with enough time. They were all still young, after all.

Lily opened the door to Compartment C to find everyone, excluding Adrian and Cresswell for obvious reasons, sitting around the table. Slughorn sat at one end of the oval table, with Mary sitting directly to his left, and Marlene and Sirius sitting next to Mary. Mary and Marlene seemed to both be on-edge, but for different reasons. The chair immediately to Slughorn's right was empty, as though intentionally reserved for Lily, and Severus sat on the other side of it. To Severus's own right was Regulus Black, who was sitting straight up and carefully dissecting his food. Two empty chairs were at the end of the table, and Lily knew that they were for both Adrian and Cresswell.

"Goodness, Lily!" Slughorn exclaimed. "I was wondering when you would arrive! We've already finished our appetizers!"

Lily's heart stopped. How long had she been with James and Remus? And how long had Severus been waiting. "I'm so sorry, professor," Lily quickly said. "James was holding me up." She quickly took her seat between Severus and Slughorn.

"Not to worry, my dear," Slughorn said reassuringly. "I was worried something terrible had happened. Now then, where were we?"

"I believe we were just about to discuss MacDonald's parents," Black replied.

"I didn't think you'd be so interested," Sirius said, almost venomously.

"I find nothing wrong with keeping track of things," Black said, taking a sip from his goblet. He turned to Mary and asked, "MacDonald, you were saying?"

"... well, both of my parents are greengrocers," Mary explained reluctantly.

"And where do you live?" Slughorn asked. "Forgive my curiosity; I just like to familiarize myself with newer members."

"Liverpool," Mary answered.

"Is that so?" Black took another sip. "You live by the coast, then?"

"Close to it," Mary said. Lily could tell she was growing more uncomfortable.

"I wish I could live by the coast," Lily interjected. "We could get fresh fish there."

"That's not likely," Severus commented. "According to Wigworthy, there was some sort of fishing dispute with Iceland recently. Britain's fishing industry might take a big hit."

Marlene looked as though she wanted to say something, but she stopped herself.

"Is that so?" Slughorn asked with mild curiosity. Lily could see that he was uncomfortable whenever he looked at Severus, which meant the latter was right.

"I don't know the specifics, but the price for fish could go up." Severus picked at his plate and ate a mushroom.

"That would be a shame," Lily said. "We might have to spend an arm and a leg for some fish and chips when we get back."

Severus nodded. "Not to mention the waste we'd end up with afterwards."

"Waste?" Slughorn asked.

"Oh," Lily explained with a laugh. "We usually pick the batter off of the fish before we eat it."

"Why?" Mary asked.

"They changed the recipe," Severus said. "It used to be tallow, but now they use vegetable oil, for some reason."

"Really?" Lily was shocked that Severus would know something like that.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I just thought the quality went down."

"You seem to be fairly knowledgeable in the Muggle world, Snape," Black commented.

"I live there, so I would be." Severus was very nonchalant about how he answered.

"Evans lives there too, and yet you seem to know more than her."

Lily looked between Severus and Black, and she could tell that Severus was losing his patience. She cut in and said, "Well, I guess I haven't been paying enough attention."

"Indeed."

"Now, Sirius," Slughorn said, changing the flow of the conversation. "I hear that you'll be spending Christmas with the Potters, yes?"

"I will," Sirius said, grinning intentionally at Black. "It'll be glorious. And Remus and Peter and their parents are coming as well."

"Yes, I remembered Lyall and Enid," Slughorn said. "Lyall was exceptionally skilled in Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. As for Enid, she was rather talented in Potions and Herbology."

"Mrs. Pettigrew's bringing a trifle," Sirius bragged. "Professor, if you could taste a spoonful of it, you'd wish you were there with us."

"That would explain Pettigrew's well-roundedness," Black commented.

Sirius shot him a glare before turning to Marlene and saying, "Are you sure you can't come?"

"Sorry," Marlene said apologetically. "Maybe we could celebrate together next year?"

"No worries," Sirius said. He said to Lily, "The invitation is still open, by the way. Just in case you change your mind."

"I'm not one to break tradition," Lily said diplomatically. She didn't like that James and Sirius were still asking her, even when she had already declined. James hadn't been too blatant about it, but it was mentioned every now and then.

"Yes," Slughorn added, "and I suppose you- Merlin's beard, Snape! What happened to your eye?!"

Lily, confused, turned to Severus just as Mary let out a gasp, and she herself did the same. Severus's left eye wasn't just bloodshot; it was as though a vein had burst, leaving the entire white of his eye blood red. "Severus…."

"What?" Severus took the hand mirror that Mary held out for him, and he opened it to check. He let out a sigh and said, "Ah. Hmm."

"Here," Mary said, pulling out a small pot of something called Wear-and-Tear, and handed it to Severus. "I think this might help."

Severus took some of the salve and applied it to his eyelid; while some of the redness had withdrawn, it was still quite red. "Thank you," he said, handing it back to Mary.

"Do you need anything?" Lily asked.

"No, I feel fine. Must be one of those days."

"Is it common for this to happen?" Black asked.

"I suppose not," Severus replied. "I've been staying up later than I intend to. It's possible that it's put too much strain on my eyes."

"Well," Slughorn said uncomfortably, "as long as you're well."

The party took some time before its momentum picked up again, and once the meal had ended, everyone got up from the table, which had Vanished, and reclined in the Conjured chairs. Marlene and Sirius were very talkative with one another, while Slughorn was focused on conversing with Mary; Black had joined the conversation, for some reason. Severus was also present, but he didn't say a word; he sat silently.

Having chosen a chair close to Severus, Lily leaned over and whispered, "Do you want to get some fresh air?"

Severus shook his head subtly. "No, I'm fine. Unless you need some."

"I do."

Severus glanced at Slughorn and stood, saying casually, "Lily and I are going to get some fresh air for a bit. We'll be back shortly."

Slughorn nodded in acknowledgement and shot Lily a peculiar, worried look. "Very well."

Lily followed Severus out of the compartment and into one of the unoccupied cabins, and she said, "Severus, look at me."

Severus turned around and looked Lily in the eye. "I don't-"

"Stop," Lily said, stepping forward a bit. "I know something happened. What is it?"

"... Black." Severus broke eye contact, instead looking down.

Lily was about to respond, but she remembered Mary's words. Instead, she said, "You've been doing well so far. We only have until evening before we're all off the train and at Tuney's."

Severus's eyes darted back up with a look of annoyance, but he remained silent.

"You can do this," Lily said. "Take your time, and then we can go back in."

Severus sat down and began to steady his breathing, and Lily saw for the first time how much weight he seemed to have on his shoulders. It was no wonder, given his schedule and what he was willing to do. And what made it worse was that they could have used the time to talk through their problems and reconcile.

After some time, Lily sat next to him and asked, "Are you ready?"

Severus seemed to force himself to nod.

Lily led Severus back into the compartment with the others, and she helped Slughorn pass out the desserts that Severus had helped prepare: vanilla ice cream with baked pears. It tasted fantastic, and she smiled when she saw Slughorn's eyes light up from the flavor.

"Oh, of course!" Slughorn suddenly said. "Snape, do you recall that little project Damocles Belby was working on?"

"... yes." Severus sounded hesitant.

"My boy, I didn't realize you were talking about a cure for lycanthropy!"

The room went perfectly silent, save for the tiny 'fuck' that escaped Severus's lips. Severus set the spoon down and said, "He told me to be discreet."

"Did he truly call you behind the curtain to discuss such a thing?" Black asked.

"Yes. He knows I have an interest in potions." It almost sounded mechanical when Severus said it.

"Well, Belby has told me all about the trials," Slughorn continued. "By all accounts, they've finally perfected it! Although, the ingredients are quite expensive. Silver extract could raise the price a tad."

"Does this mean you helped him?" Mary asked Severus.

"It was more of a shared thought experiment," Severus replied.

"Well, there's no mention of you in the paper," Marlene commented. "I guess he didn't take your advice."

"... clearly."

As the conversation went on and Severus blankly explained the details around it, Lily sat back and took in what he had done. Despite his schedule and recovering health, he'd somehow also discovered a potential cure for lycanthropy, and all this time, Lily had thought he and Belby had been talking about women's health products.

After what seemed like an eternity, Slughorn looked satisfied and said to everyone, "Well, it was wonderful to see you all! And I certainly hope that you all have a wonderful holiday!"

"Thank you, professor," Marlene said. She nudged Sirius and gestured to the door, and Sirius looked eager to leave as they headed out.

"Do you require any assistance?" Black asked.

"No, I'll have Snape help me. Thank you for the offer, Regulus."

"Of course, sir." Black gave Lily an odd nod and left.

Lily and Mary stayed and helped Severus with cleaning up, while Slughorn directed them to where certain plates should go. It was all second-nature to Lily at this point, but it didn't feel the same. Knowing that Severus didn't even like these parties had affected Lily more than she'd thought. She caught a quick glimpse of Severus as he moved some of the chairs and responded to Slughorn's compliments on the dessert; he looked tired.

Finally, Lily, Severus and Mary left the compartment, and Mary said, "I'm going to find Xeno. I'll see you two after the holiday!"

"Take care, Mary," Lily said, smiling at the girl's enthusiasm.

"Happy Christmas," Severus said. His voice sounded as though he was only just relaxing. But there wasn't much life behind his voice.

As Mary left, Lily turned to Severus and asked, "Shall we find a cabin?"

"If you're available," Severus said.

Lily was quick to find an empty cabin, and she and Severus sat down. "So…."

"... our talk." Severus rested his head on the back of his seat. "I'm not sure where to start. How long do we have?"

Lily waved her wand and said, "Tempus!" Her heart sank a bit. "... the party didn't really last that long, did it?"

Severus looked up at the floating numbers and sighed, but he didn't say anything; instead, he leaned back once more and began some sort of breathing exercise. Even though he didn't admit it, he was upset, and Lily couldn't blame him. If she'd known that the party would only leave them an hour to talk, she would have suggested talking over the holiday instead. It would have been better overall, and Severus wouldn't have been disappointed or stressed out.

"Hey," Lily said, leaning forward and shaking Severus awake. Severus's eyes flickered open as Lily continued. "We can talk when we're back in Cokeworth. There's no possible way for anyone to interrupt us then."

"Don't you have to help your parents decorate?"

"... oh." Lily felt the wind leave her sails, but she had a thought. "What if you come over and help out? Maybe-"

"Is that a good idea?" Severus raised one eyebrow. "They might think I'm there to knick something."

"But you're not," Lily said, trying to reassure him. "Prove it to them."

"I was thinking of bringing some drinks over," Severus said. "Do they like mulled wine?"

"You know where to buy that?"

"Lily, I'm a Potions prodigy. Do you honestly think I'm going to buy the final product?"

Lily smirked. "How humble of you."

Severus's mouth curled a bit at the ends, almost enough to be considered a smile. "Don't let the other Slytherins hear you saying that."

And just like that, Lily's good mood was gone. Hearing the name 'Slytherin' come out of Severus's mouth reminded him of the people he used to spend time with.

A somewhat worried look appeared on Severus's face. "Was it something I said?"

"I'd rather not talk about the other Slytherins," Lily said quietly.

"... I won't."

Lily met Severus's eyes just as he averted hers. "I didn't mean it like- it's not that-"

"Stop." Severus met her eyes again. "I want to lay out some basic rules about our talk." The way Severus said it made Lily feel nervous.

"What rules?" Lily asked.

"The rules of engagement. Rule 1: under no circumstance should we be emotionally-charged. I want both of us to be rational about what happened between us and how we can move on from it."

Lily thought it sounded a bit mechanical, almost like how Severus was currently acting. But oddly enough, it told her enough about what sort of boy he was now. If he was willing to put his anger in check, and prevent one of his outbursts, then he must be taking this seriously. More seriously than Lily could have hoped for. "What else?"

"Rule 2: we shouldn't assume the worst of each other when we discuss our problems and why we did what we did. We run the risk of-"

"Hold on," Lily said, cutting in. She must have misheard. "What do you mean 'we'?"

Severus furrowed his brow. "What?"

"You said 'what we did'."

"... yes…."

"I-" Lily was confused now. He'd meant to say it. "I thought you were going to apologize and say what you would do differently."

There was a flash of red behind Severus's eyes, but Lily didn't know if it was a trick of the light or something else. Severus's former exhaustion had vanished. "... what?"

"I just… well, when you wanted to meet with me in the Owlery-"

"Which you forgot about."

Lily's breath caught. "You're still-"

"I told you I wanted to speak with you about everything. What do you think 'everything' means?"

Lily looked down, away from Severus. She thought through everything that had happened in the past five years, but she couldn't think of anything she'd done aside from forgetting about the meeting. "I-"

"No." Severus's voice was calm again, and his exhaustion returned to restrain him. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. Give me a minute to cool down."

Lily eyed Severus warily as his eyes glazed over and his breathing shifted. All she could see was how different he was to the little boy that had jumped out of the bushes and told her she was a witch. There was barely any of that enthusiasm or excitement left in him: only stress and worry.

Lily stood up and sat next to Severus. "We can make those rules work," she said softly. "Alright? And maybe we can get some fish and chips, if we can even afford it anymore. God knows what that fishing conflict with Iceland did to the prices."

"I'll pay for them," Severus said.

"I can-"

"I can afford it."

Lily smiled. "Just one night at Tuney's, and then we're home."

---

Severus I

Severus had mentally prepared himself for this very moment, despite the absolute revulsion he now felt. Lily had stopped on the way to help him find some better-looking clothes; currently, he wore a white button-up shirt with black pants and shoes, and a black blazer. It was more comfortable than the dress robes he'd worn for the party, but he felt out of place. Then again, given where he currently stood, it was no wonder.

And so the time came, and Lily knocked on Petunia's door.

Severus thought he heard a piece of furniture move, perhaps a chair, and it was followed by the sound of locks unlocking. Suddenly, the door opened, and Petunia Evans, as blonde, pale-eyed, long-necked and ill-tempered as ever, stood before them. "Lily."

"Hi, Tuney!" Lily moved forward and gave Petunia a hug, causing the older sister's eyes to widen with shock. Severus commanded himself not to smirk at the reaction as Lily pulled away and said, "Have you been cooking Italian? Severus and I ate on the train."

"N-no," Petunia replied. "I just have some garlic hanging in the kitchen." She gave an odd look to Severus, and he immediately knew what was going on.

"... you wouldn't also happen to have wooden stakes hidden under the table, would you?" Severus asked.

Petunia paled, if that was possible.

Lily looked confused before she covered her mouth. "Oh! No, Petunia, I was joking about that!"

"How was I supposed to know that?!" Petunia shrieked. "With what your kind gets up to, anything's possible!"

"Sorry," Lily said. "I shouldn't joke about that, then."

Petunia straightened out her dress, which seemed too thin for winter weather, and said, "Come in. You'll catch a cold."

Lily led Severus in, and Severus got a good look at where they were. There was a small kitchenette, along with a sitting area composed of a table, a couch, and a few chairs. A regular dining table, if one could call it that, was just in the middle, with four chairs set up.

"The bathroom is past the door on the left," Petunia said, gesturing to the two doors adjacent to the sitting area. "Snape can sleep on the couch."

"Thanks," Lily said. She pulled Petunia away and softly said something under her breath. Petunia shot her a look, but it seemed to soften… which was disarming for Severus. "I'll take a shower," Lily said again, and she took her bags into the bedroom before going into the bathroom with what looked like pajamas.

Petunia looked at Severus and said, "Sit down. I'll make some tea."

Severus nodded and sat down. He supposed it was only a matter of time before he had to make amends with Petunia, as disgusting a thought as that was. It was bad enough that he already hated the woman, but Professor Snape's memories of her made it worse. This was the woman who had abused Lily's son, and as much as the professor hated Potter Jr, he was still her son. He knew that antagonizing her would only lead her into becoming more like her original self. He had to approach this differently. And fortunately, he had thought of something that made the best of both worlds.

"So," Petunia said, setting a cup down in front of Severus, "you decided to weasel your way back in, did you?"

"Crack willow."

Petunia blinked. "What?"

"That day, when Lily and I were sitting by the river and that tree branch fell on you."

"What about it?" Petunia stiffened a bit as she sat down, and Severus knew that this was a sensitive topic. How he approached this would be crucial.

"Crack willow is common in the West Midlands, and it tends to grow alongside rivers. The Tame has countless growing on its banks. Do you know why it's named that way?"

Petunia shook her head. "Giving me a lesson in botany, are we?"

Severus controlled himself and Occluded his irritation before continuing. "The wood is extremely brittle. So brittle, that it sometimes splits at the very trunk, thereby forming two seemingly separate trees. But deep down, they both have the same roots, regardless of how they grow." Severus met Petunia's eyes and said, "When that branch fell, it's possible that I was responsible. But it's equally possible that it fell of its own accord. Because I don't know if I was responsible or not, I cannot apologize for that."

Petunia looked away before saying, "Oh, so you're not taking any responsibility, then?"

"However," Severus said, continuing as if Petunia hadn't said anything, "I…." The words caught in his mouth, but through sheer force of will, he managed to get them out. "I have to apologize for pushing you away."

Petunia briefly glanced at Severus, as if she didn't know how to respond. The best she seemed to manage was "What?"

"I pushed you away because you couldn't use magic," Severus said. "I looked down on you for your birth. Because…." He couldn't finish what he had meant to say; it wasn't something he could talk about with someone like Petunia. "The point is that… despite our shared animosity toward one another… I need to make amends with you. I'm sorry."

For a moment, Petunia's face softened, and the arms she had crossed slackened. But it didn't last long. "You're only saying that because you want Lily to forgive you."

The words stung. Of all the people to see right through Severus, it had to be Lily's Muggle sister. "... yes," Severus said. "But it doesn't mean it isn't true."

"Do you really believe what you're saying?" Petunia asked. "Because I don't want some… fake apology."

"I'm sorry enough to apologize," Severus said. "But I don't expect the two of us to get along as much as Lily wants; that would be asking a bit too much."

"On that, we can agree." Petunia brought the kettle over and poured Severus a cup before filling her own, setting an empty one where Lily would sit. "What happened to your eye?"

"... oh, is it still red?" Severus had almost lost his composure at the party, but he hadn't expected to have this sort of reaction. "It's just a burst vein. I applied something to it to help it heal."

"Hmm." Petunia took a sip. "You're dressed better than before."

"Lily picked it out," Severus explained.

"Can't believe she's wasting money on you."

"I bought it."

Petunia looked surprised. "You have money?"

"A monthly allowance. Also, I've been tutoring other students." Severus tasted the tea. It was a bit bitter, but at least it wasn't sweet. "And you?"

"Clerical work," Petunia said. "I got a job at Grunnings."

"The drill company?"

"You know what that is?" Petunia asked.

"I have a few of their drills at home," Severus said. "They're decent."

"Hmm. And here I thought you just did everything with magic."

Severus took another sip. "I do. They were my… they were Tobias's."

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them, but it was broken by Petunia. "Well, at least you're rid of him, then. No need for his sort to be around."

Severus looked up at her with surprise. There was no pity. For the first time, the two of them had found some meaningful common ground: a mutual hatred for Tobias Snape. "... I agree."

Petunia seemed more surprised by Severus's response than how Severus himself had felt. She took another deep sip, more like a gulp, and set the cup down gently. "I read about what he did."

"... it all sounds like what he would do."

Petunia's mouth twitched open for a brief moment before she locked her lips shut. She looked as though she was about to ask something when Lily came out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a white towel. She was wearing long-sleeved striped pajamas, and she rolled up the sleeves as she sat down, the towel wrapped around her head. Severus felt his face warm at the sight of her, but he shifted his thoughts to anything that wasn't Lily.

"Did I miss anything?" Lily asked.

"Severus and I have come to an agreement," Petunia said.

Lily smiled widely. "And?"

"And… we don't hate each other. That much."

Lily looked between the two of them, and Severus could see that familiar look in her eye, something that he hadn't seen in a long time. Comfort. Lily poured some tea for herself and said, "It's a shame you're not coming for Christmas."

"The office is having a party," Petunia said, "and I have dinner with someone."

Lily gasped. "Someone?"

Petunia blushed. "Y-yes. His name is Vernon. Vernon Dursley. He's a junior executive."

"Right, at that drilling company," Lily said.

"Drills," Severus corrected. "They sell hand drills."

Lily looked between Petunia and Severus before asking the latter, "How-"

"I have some," Severus said, not wanting to reiterate the point.

"Anyway," Petunia continued, "he's rather serious. No-nonsense. Hard-working."

Severus, knowing what sort of man Vernon Dursley would become, hated how much he liked the way he was described.

Lily said, "Do you think he and Severus would get along?"

"No," Severus and Petunia said simultaneously, much to everyone's surprise.

"No," Petunia repeated. "He doesn't- I don't want him finding out about-"

"- magic," Severus interrupted. "With the Statue of Secrecy, it may cause problems."

"Right, what he said."

Lily looked nonplussed by both of their reactions. Suddenly, her hand went to her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"What?" Petunia asked.

"Nothing," Lily lied. She took a sip of her tea.

"That wasn't nothing," Severus said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily replied.

Severus and Petunia exchanged looks of confusion before Petunia poured herself a second cup. Whatever had caused Lily to laugh had to be something good.

---

Lily II

Sunday, 19 December 1976

Lily found herself practically dragging both Petunia and Severus to the Hard Rock Cafe. The restaurant had opened a couple of months before Lily and Severus had gone off to Hogwarts for their first year, but she hadn't actually eaten anything here until she'd come back. Her parents would never have invited Severus to eat here, even though Lily had asked several times if he could come along with them; they had always said something about his parents not appreciating the gesture, and that was the end of that. But now, Lily finally had a chance to eat her with both Severus and Petunia, and she wasn't going to waste it.

The door opened, and Lily was met by the familiar sights and sounds of the cafe, and the aroma from the food was enough to make her mouth water.

"Oh," Severus said. "So this is what it looks like?"

"What did you expect?" Petunia asked.

"From the way Lily described it, I was expecting a stage for musicians. This is better, though."

"You'll love it," Lily reassured him.

"'Love' is a bit of a strong word."

Before Lily could respond with something she thought might be witty, a waitress walked up to them and said, "Welcome to the Hard Rock Cafe. How many in your party?"

"Just three," Lily said. "Do you have a seat by the window?"

"Not many left, but there's one over there, in the corner. Follow me."

Lily took Petunia and Severus by their arms and led them behind the waitress. As the three of them sat down, Lily and Petunia on one side and Severus on the other, Lily asked, "Could we start with some coffee?"

"I'll have someone bring them and take your order." The waitress looked Severus up and down before walking away.

"What sort of food do they serve?" Severus asked.

"Sandwiches and burgers," Petunia explained. "It's always been a bit… American for my taste."

"You love their veggie burgers," Lily chided.

"Well… yes, I suppose I do," Petunia said reluctantly.

"I'll probably have a soup," Severus said.

"Is it your stomach?"

"What are you talking about?" Petunia asked.

"Severus-"

"I'd rather not talk about that in a public place, thank you very much." Severus was staring down at the table as he adjusted the placement of his napkin.

"We won't," Lily promised.

"Sorry for the delay," a voice said from behind Lily and Petunia. Three cups of coffee were set before them, along with some menus. "Do you need a moment to… order…?"

Lily glanced over at Severus and was startled by the intensity of his stare at the waiter. "What is it?"

"Oh," the waiter said. "Hello."

"Hello… Peter." There was enough ice in Severus's voice to freeze Hell over.

Peter? Lily turned to get a good look at the face of the waiter- "Peter?!"

Peter Pettigrew was standing before them, wearing a work uniform. "... hello, Lily. Snape."

Petunia nudged Lily and asked, "Do you know him?"

"He's from school," Severus said, and Lily felt the pressure in his voice. "He's a good… good friend. Isn't he, Lily?"

"Yes," Lily said, her concern growing for Severus's clear-cut animosity. She turned to Peter and said, "I didn't know you worked here."

"And so soon after coming home," Severus added.

"W-well," Peter stuttered, "It's a living… you know?"

"Shall we order?" Petunia asked, clearly trying to change the conversation.

"O-oh, of course," Peter said quickly. He took out a pad of paper and pencil. "What would you like to order?"

"I'll have the veggie burger," Petunia said.

"And I'll have the club sandwich," Lily added. "Severus?"

Severus picked up the menu and scanned it. "Vegetable soup."

"One veggie burger, one club sandwich, one vegetable soup, coming up!" Peter quickly took their menus away and scampered through the door to the kitchen.

"Pettigrew?" Petunia asked. "I've heard that name before."

"Oh, have you?" Lily asked. She could see that Severus had gone still as soon as the name left Petunia's lips.

"... if he goes to school with you… isn't he one of the boys you said was bullying Snape?"

No one moved or said anything, except for Severus, who calmly and quietly stood from his seat and casually walked out the front door.

"Sev-" Lily turned to Petunia and said, "I'll be right back, please don't mention that again." She hurried out after Severus, who was an annoyingly fast walker. She broke into a small run and caught him by the arm. "Wait-"

"You told her." Severus's face was red.

"It was just after first-year," Lily explained. "I didn't know what to do, so I asked Tuney-"

"Do you think for one moment that I would want someone like Petunia to hear about what happened?!"

"Just-" Lily led Severus to the side, out of the flow of foot traffic, as she said, "I wasn't- I just wanted to help-"

"You know what she's like," Severus said. "And now that she's met him in person, she can see the sort of people that make my life hell."

"Severus, we're almost done. Breathe."

Severus went silent, and his eyes glazed over again; Lily hated when that happened. It was as though he was pulling himself away from everything around him, locking himself into his mind as he started breathing in and out.

"Are you alright?"

Severus's eyes flickered back to life. "I'm fine. I overreacted."

"Come on," Lily said, gesturing back to the cafe.

Severus walked in front of Lily as they went back in, and Lily was surprised to find that Peter had already brought out their food. Either it had been heated up, or Lily and Severus had been gone longer than she had thought. Peter seemed to be talking to Petunia, and Lily quickly walked in front of Severus to stop him from reaching the table first.

"We're back," Lily said, causing both Petunia and Peter to look at her.

"Ah, perfect timing," Peter said. He turned to Petunia and said, "Enjoy your meal." With that, he walked off and started serving other customers.

Lily and Severus sat down, and Lily asked, "What was he talking about?"

"I think he was trying to talk about the weather," Petunia replied. "A bit of a toadie, isn't he?"

Lily heard a small laugh from Severus. "Less of a toad and more of a rat," Severus mused.

Lily couldn't help but smile as the three of them ate their food. Petunia was daintily cutting and eating her burger with a knife and fork, while Severus was hunched over his bowl of soup, as though he expected someone to steal it. Lily picked up her club sandwich and tucked in.

---

Severus II

Severus enjoyed the train ride from London to Birmingham to Cokeworth. Unlike most times, where he traveled alone to and from Platform 9 ¾, he actually had some company; even though the two of them had to share a cabin with strangers on both trains, it felt right for Lily to sit beside him. If things could stay like this, he might continue riding the trains, even after getting his Apparition license… which reminded him that he needed to pay for the course. He'd contact Dumbledore and use his tutoring money to pay. But there was something more important to take care of. And it had to be done tonight.

As Lily stepped off the train, Severus helped carry her luggage. "We made good time."

"It's a shame we couldn't stay with Tuney for longer," Lily said. "I think the two of you got along well."

Severus scoffed. "Let's not be hasty."

Lily nudged his arm and said, "Fine. But you did well today. Thanks." A warm smile appeared on her face.

Severus almost smiled back, if not for his overall exhaustion. "Of course," he replied.

As the two of them walked past the Railview and along the street, Severus could see the familiar Spinner's End slowly approaching. In time, the both stopped at the intersection.

"I guess this is where I go," Severus said.

"I'll come by tomorrow," Lily said reassuringly.

"Actually, perhaps we could meet at the spot?"

"In this weather?" Lily looked uncertain. "It might be a bit muddy."

"The playground, then?"

Lily nodded. "Alright. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will."

Lily gave Severus another smile before going on her way back home.

Severus relaxed as he turned the corner and walked down the street until he reached the gate of Number 13. Unsurprisingly, he found an old, long-bearded, eccentrically-dressed man waiting for him. "Sir."

"Ah, there you are, Severus." Dumbledore gestured to the gate. "I would have fixed your gate, but I felt you wouldn't want me to touch anything without your approval."

"Don't fix it," Severus said. He moved over to the lock and began shifting the bar around, navigating a maze of decay until there was a clicking sound. The gate swung open. "Here we are."

"Are you sure you wouldn't wish me to fix it? It makes it difficult for people to visit."

"That's the point," Severus replied. "Anyway, I suppose we ought to sort through the house."

"Of course. Lead the way."

Severus walked up to the front door and took out his house key: a bobby pin. He stuck it inside and began navigating the lock until another click sounded, and soon, they were both inside. They entered the main corridor, which went off to the side before opening up into a putrid sitting room. The kitchen was off to the side, next to the back door, and it too was horribly cared-for.

"You don't mind if I do some preemptive cleaning, do you?" Dumbledore asked.

"I'd rather do it myself," Severus said. He took out his wand and performed a few Locomotion Charms to sort the dishes, broken and whole, into neat piles before using the Scouring Charm inside the sink.

"If I may, I'll repair some of the less-salvageable objects in the room." Dumbledore waved his wand wordlessly, and the broken dishes knit themselves back together. Severus could hear something creaking beneath the sink, which he imagined were the rusted pipes. Behind him, he heard the furniture in the sitting room moving around, creaking and ripping as they reformed into their original, functional forms.

This was the very place where Professor Snape had made his vow to Narcissa. Where he promised to help her son kill Dumbledore, even if he had to do it himself.

"Severus?"

Severus looked to Dumbledore. "Yes?"

"Where do we go next?"

"There's a few other rooms on the ground floor."

Severus led Dumbledore to the downstairs toilet, as well as the cellar door in the front yard. Severus wanted to convert it into a potions lab, as well as add a way in from inside the house, and Dumbledore waved his wand before Severus could stop him. The cellar suddenly reorganized itself, the tools cleaning and fixing themselves before lining up in the tool cabinet, and a table appeared, along with a plentiful amount of brewing equipment and shelves.

Severus was stunned at the display; he would have done it himself, with Professor Snape's assistance. "You didn't have to do this."

"Consider it an early Christmas present," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Now, the first floor?"

Severus led Dumbledore back into the house and up the staircase, where they found themselves walking down a corridor with a few doors on each side. The first door on the left was the upstairs bathroom, equipped with a toilet, sink, and what was technically a bathtub. Dumbledore made quick work of cleaning and modifying it, converting the bathtub into a tub/shower combination; in Severus's eyes, the best part was the fact that it was hooked up to the plumbing.

Across from the bathroom was Severus's room, and before Dumbledore could go in, Severus stepped in the way. "Wait," he said quickly. "I'll take care of this one."

"Very well," Dumbledore said casually. "May I take a look at the other rooms?"

"As you wish." As Dumbledore carried on, Severus opened the door to his room and shut it behind him, taking in what he considered his home.

This room was paradoxically the cleanest and most decrepit room in the house. Sparsely decorated, there were only four visible objects: a table and chair, a bed, and a wardrobe. Severus ignored the first three and went straight to the wardrobe, gingerly opening it to look at the contents inside.

Within was a collection of out-of-place clothes, some too short or long for any part of Severus's body. Laying below the clothes, on the floor of the wardrobe, was a folded blanket, and a misshapen pillow sat in the corner next to it. Severus knelt down and turned the pillow around, so that the opening of the pillowcase was facing him. Placing his hand in and feeling what was inside, Severus felt a bit of comfort, of happier times before going to Hogwarts. Those days weren't always good, but they were days before Potter and the Death Eaters came into his life.

Severus gently moved a few of the clothes aside and saw what he had carved into the back: a forest with a lamppost standing in the center, with two long-haired children standing under it. In the bulb of the lamp were the initials 'LE+SS'. Those were simpler, better days. Severus moved the clothes back in place, turned the pillow around, and sat up, standing as he shut the wardrobe. As he did, Dumbledore knocked on the door.

"May I come in?"

"Of course, sir."

Dumbledore stepped in with a somber look. "Seeing the other rooms upstairs has made me consider having staff visit… more often… my boy, don't tell me this is your room."

"... I won't."

"Are you not going to change anything here?"

Severus remained standing between Dumbledore and the wardrobe. "I'll change everything but the wardrobe."

Dumbledore glanced at the wardrobe behind him. "A bit personal?"

"Somewhat."

"I understand. Will you be staying in this room, or would you like to move to a different one?"

The thought of sleeping in a different room hadn't even crossed Severus's mind. He had no interest in sleeping in his father's bed, nor did he want to sleep in what were apparently two guest rooms. And sleeping in the upstairs library wasn't something Dumbledore would approve of. "I'll sleep here," Severus answered.

"Then perhaps I could do some-"

"I'll do it," Severus quickly said. "I was just familiarizing myself."

"In that case, I should be leaving."

"Wait," Severus said, stopping Dumbledore in his tracks.

"Yes?"

"I need… I need two things."

"And what would those be?"

"First… sir, would you mind keeping an eye on Mary MacDonald?"

Dumbledore blinked. "I had no idea you and Miss MacDonald were so close."

"No," Severus explained, "it's just that I've felt something dangerous about her."

"Do you believe she is the holder of the diary?"

Severus shook his head. "No, I don't think she is. I don't know; I can't discern people who are dangerous from people who are in danger."

"So, she's in danger?"

"I think Mulciber might be targeting her."

Dumbledore's eyes darkened. "Do you mean Marcus Mulciber?"

"That's my guess. Surely, you've heard the rumors about him?"

"Oh, I have. But unfortunately, I can't do anything about his attendance at Hogwarts."

"If you know, then why not?!"

"Severus, how many students are at Hogwarts?"

Severus didn't have an exact number on-hand. "A few hundred?"

"And how many people are in Great Britain?"

"... a few million?"

"I know of Mulciber's ties to Voldemort, and yet I cannot prove it without proper evidence. Should I expel him for his behavior, he would go directly into the service of Voldemort."

"But he's already serving him now! All the seventh-year boys are."

"And yet, I have no proof." Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles. "But I can assure you that I will keep watch over Miss MacDonald when I can spare it. I must confess that I've already started doing so, ever since I learned of your friendship with her."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"And what is the second matter?"

"I want the Fidelius Charm placed over this house."

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up. "That's rather… extreme."

"Not when I'm a target. And I want to be my own secret keeper."

"Severus, do you know how the Fidelius Charm works?"

"It conceals something, doesn't it? Like a person or location?"

"No. It conceals the secret itself."

Severus was confused. Did you know that?

Apparently not.

"Let me explain. The Fidelius Charm takes hold of certain information and makes it unknown to all but the secret keeper and those whom the keeper wishes to tell. However, the Charm is only in place for as long as the information is true. To use a sensitive example, the Fidelius Charm placed on the Potter family was broken because the secret was no longer true."

"And that would be?"

"That James and Lily Potter were hiding in Godric's Hollow, in that particular cottage. When they died, they were no longer hiding. Do you see how this works?"

"So if the secret was that I lived in Number 13 Spinner's End, what would that mean?"

"Well, you live wherever you go, so the act of leaving your home would undo the Charm."

Severus cursed under his breath. He'd have to write out a full paragraph of parameters for the Fidelius Charm. "What about 'Severus Snape lives in Cokeworth'?"

"That would be a more reasonable choice. Very well. But you will need someone else to be the secret keeper, as you are the target of the secret."

Severus sighed. "Fine. I choose Snarky."

"I'm afraid that won't work. House-elves, due to their magical compulsion to obey their masters, cannot be affected by the magic of the Fidelius Charm in any way. I'm afraid I am your only option."

"Very well." Severus wasn't happy, but it was better than nothing. "Shall we?"

---

Lily III

Wednesday, 22 December 1976

Note: the following contains the television broadcast "This is Your Life: John Inman", which can be found on YouTube.

Lily had spent the entire morning wrapping presents for Mum and Dad's friends and their children. She'd wanted to go visit Severus, maybe get some fish and chips, but this year was busier than she'd expected it to be.

There was a knock on the front door.

"Lily, could you get that for me?"

"Right away, Mum!" Lily set the ornaments down gently and hurried to the door, opening it to find Severus standing outside, wearing a long coat. "You're early."

Severus and Dumbledore had come by two days ago to explain that Severus had placed himself under a Fidelius Charm, which had caused Lily to go into an embarrassingly long rant about Severus's paranoia. However, after Dumbledore had left, Severus had explained to her that he was worried about retaliation from the other Slytherins for his behavior during the past term. She knew they were a dangerous lot, but using the Fidelius Charm seemed a bit excessive. However, she didn't question it; they had to prepare for something important.

Today would mark the third day that Severus was helping around the house; Lily's dad was having breathing problems, so he couldn't do any work outside, and Lily's mum didn't really want Severus to step foot inside until Christmas.

"I wanted to get an early start," Severus said. "I don't know how to build a sleigh."

"I told Dad we don't have to put it up this year."

"I already agreed to do it." Severus held up one of his hands, which held a toolbox labeled 'Grunnings'. "Where is he?"

"In my chair," Dad called out. "I'll show you where we'll put it and what we need." He stood and approached, grabbing a coat and thick scarf as he looked at Severus. Lily hated how much the two of them didn't get along, but that was to be expected.

"Dad, don't be out for too long, alright?"

"I'll be fine, love." Dad gave her shoulder a squeeze before passing Severus and leading him to the tool shed.

Lily went back inside and continued decorating the Christmas tree as Mum walked into the sitting room.

"Oh, don't forget that 'This is Your Life' is on tonight," Mum said, reminding Lily.

"Who's on?"

"John Inman!" Mum said excitedly. "It'll be on in a few hours!"

"Mum?"

"Yes, Lily dear?"

"You wouldn't mind if Severus watched it with us, would you?"

Lily didn't have to turn her head to know that Joanne Evans's face had turned pale. "Now, I'm not so sure he would want to," Mum replied hastily. "He doesn't watch television."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, have you even seen… where does he live again?"

"Oh, he lives…." Lily found herself unable to say. Stupid Fidelius. "I've forgotten," Lily lied.

"Well, anyway, given his station, I doubt he could afford a TV license."

"Dumbledore's given him an allowance, so he's not poor!" Lily almost clasped a hand over her mouth at the outburst.

"What?" Mum's voice hinted at confusion. "Why would the headmaster do that?"

"Didn't I write to you about it?"

"About what?"

Lily could've sworn she'd mentioned it. "Dumbledore adopted Severus. It was in the wizarding papers."

Mum looked at Lily with disbelief. "Oh… well, that was rather kind of the headmaster. Maybe he can make something of the boy."

Lily stopped herself from responding, and she was surprised that she had enough self-control to do so; it was close to Christmas, and she wanted to make sure everything went well. "Anyway, would you mind if he watched with us?"

"... very well. But he's not sitting on my couch. He can have a chair from the table."

Lily supposed it was good enough. "Thanks, Mum."

A few hours passed, and Lily spent that time helping with decorating and glancing out the window to where Severus and Dad were working. Dad was sitting to the side, bundled up and covering his mouth to stop cold air from getting in, while Severus did most, if not all of, the work. Lily had never seen Severus doing manual labor before, and she was surprised by what he had accomplished. Not only was the sleigh up, but Santa's eight reindeer were also present. Watching Severus walking around outside reminded Lily of the first winter snow they shared together.

"It's too cold!" Severus exclaimed as Lily dragged him along to their spot on the riverbank.

"Come on, Sev! Live a little!"

They arrived at the riverbank to find a thick blanket of snow all around, the river too polluted to freeze properly. As Lily began forming the snow into shapes, Severus said, "What are we even doing here?"

"I thought we could build a snowman!"

"A what?"

"You've never heard of snowmen?"

"Not that I remember."

"Here." Lily took Severus's gloved hand and gently guided him to the snow. "Do what I'm doing and help me form the body."

Severus grumbled and began shaping the snow with Lily, and Lily glanced at him from time to time to see how he was doing. His side of the body was a bit lumpy and uneven. "Like this?"

"Let me help." Lily moved behind him and placed her hands behind his, showing him how to smooth out the snow the way Dad and Tuney had taught her. "You don't want to be too forceful, or it'll clump up."

"R-right." Severus must've been colder than Lily thought. And no wonder; he didn't even have a scarf.

"Do you want to borrow my scarf?" Lily asked.

"N-no, I'm fine." Severus briefly turned his head, and she could see he had reddened.

"Nonsense. Turn around." As Severus reluctantly complied, Lily undid her scarf and pulled it off, wrapping it around Severus's exposed neck and tucking it into his oversized jacket.

"What about you?" Severus asked.

Lily pulled her collar up and scrunched her neck down. "There!"

Severus gave Lily a smile warmer than his face was red. "Don't blame me if you catch a cold."

"I won't!"

The two of them continued building their snowman, finishing up the belly and chest before working gingerly on the head. Severus decided to use stones for eyes and to make the mouth, while Lily found a thick-looking stick for the nose.

"Hey, he looks like you!" Lily joked, pointing at the nose.

Severus's good mood seemed to vanish for a moment, his eyes flickering to the ground, and he laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah, he does."

"... was that mean?"

Severus froze. "N-no, it's- nothing's wrong, I promise."

"Are you sure?" Lily didn't want Severus to leave.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Severus lied.

Lily forced a smile as she said, "You know I'd never try to make fun of you, right?"

Severus nodded.

"Good!" Lily leaned forward and gave him a tight hug. Pulling back, she said, "Do you know how to make snowballs?"

"Yeah," Severus answered. "You get a small rock and form the snow around it, right?"

Lily's mouth opened a bit with shock. "No! Sev, that could hurt someone!"

"... they're not supposed to hurt?"

"NO! Who taught you how to make those?!"

"The other boys. They hit me with those all the time."

"... Sev…." Lily was starting to tear up. "That's not right."

Severus's eyes widened. "It's not that bad, Lily! It barely hurts! Besides, I know how to block them. I just knick a lid from one of the bins outside."

"You don't put rocks or anything in snowballs!" With a huff, Lily quickly rolled a snowball in her hands and presented it to Severus. "Here! This is how you make them."

"... oh, that looks easy." Severus started rolling some snow in his hands a bit too hard, and it clumped together. "Oh. Let me try again." It took a few attempts, with Severus grumbling to himself in an admittedly-funny fashion, until he finally got it. "There we go."

"Great!" Lily couldn't help but appreciate that Severus was trying to put her mind off of what she had just heard. "Now, how about we-"

Before Lily could react, Severus gently pressed the ball of snow into her face.

Lily wiped it off, blinking a few times at Severus's mischievous smirk. Her face reddened before she quickly formed another ball and shouted, "You'll get it now, Severus Snape!"

And Severus certainly got it that day.

Lily opened the door for Dad and Severus to hurry in; the air was growing colder by the minute. "Any tea or cocoa?"

"I'll have cocoa, if you don't mind," Dad said.

"Just tea, thank you. No milk or sugar." Severus warily hung his coat on the coatrack before coming into the sitting room.

"So, how was it?" Lily asked.

"The sleigh's set up," Dad replied. "Where's your mother?"

"She went to the loo," Lily said. "Her show's coming on soon."

"Right. She's been rather excited for this one." Dad sat down in his chair, taking in an unsteady breath.

"How are you feeling?" Lily asked.

"I'm fine, dear."

"I'll make the cocoa, then." Lily went into the kitchen and grabbed a few mugs from the cabinet. She was worried about Dad; he seemed to be worse than he was over the summer. Every now and then, he would break into a dry cough, but sometimes she could hear his chest wheezing. When she tried talking to Mum about it, she was told that they would go to hospital once he couldn't manage it anymore.

As Lily thought about what was going to happen, she saw a shadow appear by her side. She turned and found Severus helping her with the tea. "What will your mother have?"

"Tea, milk and two sugars."

Severus nodded. "How is he?"

Lily was stunned. "What?"

"I know he and I don't get along, but he's your father. How is he?"

Lily looked away and back down at the mug. "It's…."

"We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." Severus poured the water from the kettle into the teapot. "When we return, I'll see if I can find something that can help."

"... what?"

"There must be something in the Library that deals with tumors. If I can read up on it, maybe I can find a way to help treat it."

"Do you think it's possible?"

Severus nodded. "It's magic. Anything's possible."

Lily felt a wave of relief wash over her. If there was even a chance, she would take it. "Maybe we could read together?"

Severus was silent for a moment. "If you wish. As long as it doesn't conflict with your Prefect duties, of course."

Lily and Severus brought the mugs out to the sitting room as Mum turned on the telly. Severus brought a wooden chair from the kitchen and placed it next to the couch, beside where Lily was sitting, and sat down. Soon, the program came on, and the familiar four notes sounded from the box as the four words 'THIS IS YOUR LIFE' appeared on-screen.

"This is your life. This is Wimbleton's main street…."

Lily barely knew of John Inman or what he was in besides a sitcom called 'Are You Being Served?'. The show had started airing a week after her second year began, and she'd only seen episodes of it during the Easter and Christmas hols. Last Christmas, there was an episode where the staff members of Grace Brothers, the store where John Inman's character worked, had to dress in costume to get into the holiday spirit. Apparently, there would be another episode on Christmas Eve, and she knew she had to invite Severus over for that.

Soon enough, in his fashion, John Inman showed up on-screen wearing a dress and pearl earrings. It was some sort of pantomime performance, and the interviewer soon appeared and invited John onto the show. Within a few minutes, the four of them were watching as the host began narrating John's life, as well as inviting several of John's family and friends on and sitting them down in chairs on-stage.

"So," Dad said to Mum, "this is the man, is it?"

"Isn't he hilarious?" Mum asked. She hadn't stopped smiling since he'd shown up on-screen.

"He's a bit… camp, isn't he?" Dad asked carefully.

"Oh, I'm sure his wife doesn't mind," Mum said dismissively.

Dad shot Lily a knowing look before returning his attention to the show.

Lily leaned over to Severus and whispered, "How is it?"

"I'm not sure," Severus said. "This is my first time."

"I understand. I wasn't fond of this sort of show when I was younger, but it grew on me. What do you usually watch?"

"I don't. We couldn't afford the TV license."

"... you've never watched TV before?"

Severus shook his head. "As I said, this is my first time. I always preferred reading, anyway."

Hearing Severus say this was his first time watching television made Lily feel… well, not quite upset, but certainly unwell. She knew his family had never been well-off, but she hadn't thought they struggled as badly as that. "Well, then. I think we have a whole holiday to get you acquainted."

After running its full half-hour course, the program ended, and Mum got up from the couch. "Now then, I suppose Severus should be going home now. He won't want to be trapped by the snow, would he?" Lily could see the look Mum gave Severus.

"Of course," Severus replied, placing the chair back at its rightful place before walking to the door. "I'll be off, then."

Lily stood and walked over to Severus as he put on his coat. She said, "Stay warm."

"I will. So, should I come back tomorrow or wait until Christmas Eve?"

"I'll have to check. I was hoping that we could go into Dudley or Birmingham to pick out some gifts."

Severus had a pained look on his face. "I… the Fidelius Charm. I can't leave…." He stopped, as though something compelled him to stay silent. "I wish I was my own secret keeper."

"It seems a bit overboard, doesn't it?" Lily asked.

"Not as far as I'm concerned. If they find me…. I know what I'm doing."

"Alright. Good night, Severus."

"Good night." With that, Severus was outside, the door shutting behind him.

Lily went back into the sitting room and said, "So… that went well, didn't it?"

"Sorry, dear?" Mum was scrubbing away at the chair Severus had sat on, which made Lily's heart sink and her face grow hot with frustration.

"Mum! He's not dirty!"

"You never know." Mum finished scrubbing and drying the seat before going back into the kitchen.

Before Lily could say anything, Dad said, "Perhaps we should call it an evening? I want to go into town tomorrow."

"Dad-"

"Not alone, of course. I want to bring you and your mother. I thought we could go to the zoo, if it's open."

"What about Severus?"

"Lily." Dad's face had hardened a bit. "The boy's been over these last few days. And your mother needs some time to rest."

"... fine." Lily sighed as she made her way up the stairs. "Night, Mum. Night Dad."

"Night, dear."

Lily changed into her nightdress before going to brush her teeth. As she pulled the covers over her, she thought about Christmas dinner. It was the time of year where families were meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus, come together, and give each other gifts. When she thought about the last Christmas she shared with Severus, she remembered the discomfort the two of them shared when they sat together. This was fresh after their fight about James saving Severus from whatever was in that tunnel, and both of them were bitter… although Severus seemed to be more bitter than she was. At that point, she had grown less and less invested in what Severus was doing; it was a way for her to detach from someone who wanted to become a Death Eater.

But Severus was different now. He was trying to come back, and that had to mean something.

---

Mary I

Saturday, 25 December 1976

Mary awoke to the sound of Christmas music playing downstairs, and the smell of bacon and sausage hit her nostrils. She bolted out of bed and quickly changed out of her pajamas and into a dress Mum had bought for her while she was at Hogwarts. It was a bit wooly and homely, but it was perfect for the winter weather in Liverpool.

Mary glanced out the window to the street below, and she saw that the snow was being scraped away by a group of her neighbors. Dad hadn't joined them today, as he wanted to spend the morning with Mary and Mum. He'd closed the shop downstairs, which meant that Mary could spend a full day with both her parents without having to work in the back.

"Mary! Breakfast!"

Mary hurried out of the bedroom and out into the kitchen, where Mum was frying up breakfast. "Happy Christmas, Mum!"

"Happy Christmas, love. Can you go find your father downstairs?"

"I thought he closed the shop?"

"He went to get some firewood in the cellar. Dress warm, now."

Mary put on her coat and scarf before making her way downstairs, into the back area behind the shop. She continued downward into the cellar, where she found Dad stacking a few logs in his arms. "Dad, breakfast!"

"Ah, that sounds lovely. Happy Christmas."

"Hurry up!"

"Take a few, now."

Mary grinned and took two logs from Dad's pile before making her way upstairs. Setting the logs down by the fireplace, she brushed herself off and put her coat and scarf away. "What are we doing today?"

"Well, I was hoping I could teach you how to make the roast tonight," Mum said. "It's about time you learned. Here, I'm hoping you can put some of that Potions skill into it."

"Can I help with the gravy then?"

"Of course, love. Now-"

The MacDonalds heard the bell downstairs ring. Mary's heart stopped. The door should have been locked, so how could anyone have gotten in? Unless it was someone with magic? Mulciber knew where she lived, and he was downstairs….

"I wonder who that is," Dad said, making his way-

"I'll see who it is," Mary interrupted, making her way in front of her father. "Might just be someone who's confused."

"I think I'll come with you," Dad said.

"... okay." Mary wished she'd brought her wand with her and tucked it up her sleeve, the same way that Severus did. Maybe, she could fight Mulciber off for as long as possible. Her best bet was to grab the knife in the back and charge at him… as long as he didn't hit her with a spell first.

Mary and Dad made their way downstairs once more, and Mary's heart raced. This was it. She thought she was safe, that Mulciber was bluffing before, as nothing had happened prior to this. They turned the corner, and Mary caught a glimpse of the knife on her mind sitting a few feet away from her-

"Oh, hello, Miss MacDonald."

Mary was shocked to find Headmaster Dumbledore standing in her parents' shop, wearing bright, red robes and a pointed hat, and carrying a bag over his shoulder. "Headmaster?!"

"Ah, you must be Dumbledore!" Dad hurried over and shook Dumbledore's hand with a smile. "I was wondering when you would arrive. I hadn't expected you until later."

"By chance, I happened to be in the area, and I took the liberty of stopping by early. I'm afraid I have much to do later on."

"Would you care to join us for breakfast? My wife made a full English. It's not festive, but we do what we can."

"If I could, that would be wonderful. One moment. Snarky?"

Pop. "Yes, Headmaster?" A thin-looking house-elf with a grumpy-looking face and wearing a festive hat appeared in front of Mary, and Dad jumped back in shock.

"My apologies, Mr. MacDonald. Snarky is here to assist me today. Usually, he would be with my ward, but I'm afraid that, with Christmas, I need all the help I can get."

"You're Severus's house-elf, aren't you?" Mary asked. She was shocked by how much Snarky resembled Severus.

"Yes, Mary MacDonald. Snarky is here to deliver the headmaster's presents." Snarky's nose curled as he said 'presents'. "Snarky has Mary MacDonald's present as well."

"You're like Father Christmas, sir," Mary said, grinning at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore returned a warm smile and said, "Perhaps. Now, shall we go up?"

Mary led Dad, Dumbledore, and Snarky upstairs and told Mum what was happening. Mum seemed to have a knowing smile on her face as the headmaster sat down at the table, across from Dad. Mary and Mum took their seats, while Snarky crawled into the sack Dumbledore had brought.

After they had finished breakfast, Dumbledore said, "That was rather lovely, Mrs. MacDonald."

"Fantastic as always, love," Dad said.

"Thank you, headmaster," Mum said. "Now then… about that present we discussed?"

"What?" Mary didn't know what Mum was walking about. "What present?"

"Our present to you, Miss MacDonald." Dumbledore stood and made his way to the sack. "You see, I was rather impressed by your agency this past term. You took the initiative in befriending Severus, during a time when he most needed one. It takes quite a bit of courage to show that sort of love for one's enemies."

"He's not my en- I don't love him!"

"Oh, I don't mean in a romantic sense. I mean in a purer sense, a simple love for others. If you don't mind me saying, I believe that, at one point, you might have considered Severus an enemy, given your Houses."

Mary couldn't really argue with that logic. "I only did it because Lily wanted to try to fix things."

"You chose to do so. Lily didn't force you." Dumbledore opened the sack and said, "Now, I'd rather you not argue with me about your good qualities. I think your present is growing impatient."

"What do you mean?" As the question left Mary's mouth, she heard a whimper from inside the bag.

Snarky emerged from the bag, carrying the tiniest puppy Mary had ever seen. It was a Jack Russell terrier, and it was furiously licking Snarky's cringing face. "For Miss Mary MacDonald, from Headmaster Dumbledore."

"You…." Mary's eyes filled with tears as she took the puppy from Snarky's hands. "... I love her!"

"She's part-crup," Dumbledore explained, "and I think you will find that she will make an incredibly loyal companion. Fortunately, this one doesn't seem to bear the usual hostility toward Muggles, so she should be safe."

Mary held the pup up to her face and felt the small tongue lick at her wet cheeks. She looked up at Dumbledore and said shakily, "Thank you, sir."

"Happy Christmas, Miss MacDonald." Dumbledore turned to Mum and Dad and said, "Now, I should be off. I believe I have to make a quick stop in Bristol."

"Take care, headmaster," Mum said as Dad saw Dumbledore out. She moved to stand by Mary and leaned down, kissing the top of her head. "I take it you like your present?"

Mary was struggling to breathe, but she nodded and held the pup closer.

"What do you want to name her?"

Mary gained some control over herself before saying, "I-I don't know. Do you have a name?"

"How about… Brandy?"

Mary nodded and nuzzled her face in Brandy's soft fur. She pulled back and said, "Hi, Brandy!"

Brandy licked Mary's nose and let out a tiny bark. She was perfect.

---

Remus I

Remus hadn't told his father about the excuses he'd had to make, and it was causing him to panic. They were just about to leave for the Potter Manor, and Tad was too preoccupied with making sure their dress robes looked good enough that Remus didn't have it in him to interrupt. It had been six months since Mam died, and Remus noticed how withdrawn Tad had become. He hoped that dinner would help bring him out of his shell and take his mind off of things.

Tad turned to Remus and said, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." Remus stepped into the fireplace first, taking some floo powder before calling out, "Potter Manor!" He threw the powder down, and green flames erupted around him as he was transported into a pristine-looking fireplace. As he stepped out, he was greeted by Sirius.

"Right on time!" Sirius said, bringing Remus in for a hug. "James and Peter are upstairs."

Remus looked around, and his mouth fell wide open at the disgustingly magnificent home of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter. Every single surface seemed to shine, each ornament looked gilded with some sort of precious stone. Even the dust looked expensive.

"... dear God…." Remus muttered. Sometimes, he forgot how rich James was.

Tad came through the fireplace next, and he dusted himself off before stepping through. "Good Lord," he said. "Marvelous!"

"You're too kind!" Euphemia Potter came striding in, her greying hair put up in an elegant style that Remus was too plebeian to recognize. "Monty and I had the house-elves do a bit of dusting. So good to see you, Lyall. Remus."

"And you," Tad replied. "How are you?"

"I'm doing quite- oh, Sirius, you go ahead and take Remus upstairs."

"Will do, Mia." Sirius grabbed Remus by the arm and started pulling. "Come on! Official Marauder business!"

Remus grinned as Sirius enthusiastically ran up the stairs with him. He said, "I take it you're doing well here?"

"Mate, I'm in Heaven. They have a duelling room with a glass roof on the third floor. Absolutely beautiful!"

"Not very safe-sounding."

"It's enchanted. Prongs, Moony's here!" Sirius opened the door, and the two boys walked in to find James and Peter writing down something in several notebooks. Sirius turned to Remus and said, "We're still working out what's going on at school."

Remus sighed. "... we can't go one day without doing this?"

"No worries, mate." James closed the notebook he was writing in. "We're not about to ruin the festivities with that. Butterbeer?"

"Um… sure, why not?" Remus sat down in one of the chairs in the room, across from Peter, as James had the house-elves bring them each a butterbeer.

"Not too much," James said to the three of them. "You won't want to ruin your appetite."

Remus enjoyed his butterbeer while James and Sirius talked about what they would buy for Lily and Marlene, respectively. Peter sat by them, sipping his butterbeer quietly and occasionally chiming in with a comment he thought was clever.

Soon, a house-elf popped into the room and said, "Dinner is ready, Master James."

"Thank you," James said as the house-elf popped away. "Shall we, gents?"

The meal laid out for all in attendance was a sight that would give Hogwarts a run for its money. Along the table were three separate roasts (beef, pork, and lamb), Around each roast was an assortment of roast vegetables and potatoes, and to the side sat gravy boats and platters of Yorkshire pudding.

"James told us that Remus has a rather large appetite," Mia said, "so I had the house-elves cook up a storm."

Remus's mouth watered at the smell of the red meat.

"Let's all tuck in, then!" Monty sat at the head of the table, while Mia sat at the end. James, Sirius, and Remus sat to his right, while Tad, Peter, and Mrs. Pettigrew sat to his left. Soon, everyone had food on their plate, and the rich flavors of the beef made Remus wish he was a Potter.

"Now, then," Mia said, "Monty and I have heard that a certain Lily Evans has started taking some interest in our son. Is that true?"

"Oh, yes!" Peter piped up. "They get along rather well, so far."

"You've never really gone into detail about her," Mia said to James. "Describe her."

"She's witty, smart… a bit serious-"

"I'm Sirius," Sirius interjected. "She's bossy." That earned a chuckle from everyone there, including Remus.

"She's also rather sweet," James continued. "She has a soft spot for charity."

"Is that so?" Monty nodded in approval. "What sort of charity?"

"Oh, well… hopeless cases, really. You know Snape, right?"

Remus's stomach turned sour at the mention of the Slytherin boy.

"I'm sure everyone does, at this point," Tad said. "News travels fast."

"She knew him back home, in… funnily enough, I can't remember the name. What was it, Padfoot?"

"Um… it's on the tip of my tongue…. I think it was Wokekirk?"

"Wokekirk, then. Anyway, given what his life was like, she naturally took a liking to him. A bit sad, now that I think about it."

"Yes," Monty said, nodding. "Although, it's no excuse for the sort of friends he made at Hogwarts."

"Agreed," Mia added. "When we saw him in Diagon Alley that day, there was something off about him. Then again, anyone who prefers Slytherin's values over Gryffindor's is suspect, at best."

"But the past is the past, I'm sure," Monty said. "As for the future, are you planning on asking Lily to Hogsmeade this coming Valentine's Day?"

James took a sip from his goblet before saying, "As a matter of fact, I am."

"How about we make it a double date?" Sirius asked. "You bring Evans, and I bring Marley."

"You could go to Madam Puddifoot's," Peter suggested.

"Naturally," James replied. "And then after that, we could go look at the Shrieking Shack."

"... not exactly my idea of a romantic date," Sirius said. "Although a walk through the woods could be fun."

"You can walk Marley through the woods, and I can walk Lily to the Shack."

"Oh, and here I thought you adored my company." Sirius feigned heartbreak.

The two boys laughed, and Remus helped himself to another bit of beef.

"And how about you, Remus?" Mrs. Pettigrew asked.

"Pardon?"

"Any dates for Hogsmeade?"

"Oh, no," Remus said quickly. "I'll be on Prefect duties."

"Lily and Marley are Prefects, and they're going." James took a bit of lamb and cut into it.

"How are they both Prefects?" Tad asked.

"Lily was ill," Remus explained, "so Marlene agreed to cover for her. They share the position, depending on how well Lily is."

"Is she often ill?" Mia asked with concern.

"It's on and off," Sirius said.

Dinner continued, and after they had finished, Enid Pettigrew's famous trifle was brought out. The sponge cake was soft and airy, the fruit was fresh and juicy, the custard was creamy, and the whipped cream was light. At this point, Remus wasn't sure if he wanted to be a Potter or a Pettigrew.

"Absolutely delicious," Tad said as he ate.

"I couldn't agree more," Monty said. "I can see how young Peter started rounding out!"

There was some laughter at the table, and Peter laughed along with a red face.

"I made a second one for both you and Lyall," Mrs. Pettigrew said.

"Oh, I have them in the pantry," Mia replied. "Should I bring yours out to take with you, Lyall?"

"If you would," Tad said. "As a matter of fact, I think Remus and I will have to return home earlier than expected."

"Oh, of course. Are you still up for that visit on New Year's?" Monty asked.

"If the offer still stands," Tad said, "and if the office doesn't hold me up."

Once they had finished, Remus and Tad said their goodbyes to the Potters and Pettigrews before stepping into the fireplace, and stepping out into their house.

Remus decided that he couldn't wait to say anything anymore. "Tad, I have to tell you something-"

"You used my grief as your cover story." Tad's voice was too quiet.

Remus's heart stopped. "I-I had to think of something, and-"

"You didn't go over it with me."

"I know," Remus said. "I didn't know how to say it."

"What month is it?"

"December."

"And when did school start?"

"September."

"You had from September until now to tell me, and you waited until after Monty and Mia spoke of how wonderful a son you are for visiting me in my time of need."

Remus was shaking slightly. He wanted to leave the room, but he was afraid that Tad would follow him. "I'm sorry-"

"NO!" Tad exploded, sending Remus staggering back. Tad was furious. "No," he repeated quietly. "You don't get to plan your stories without my foreknowledge. Do you have any idea what might have happened had I not gone along with what the Potters were saying?"

Remus shook his head, his breath preventing him from answering verbally.

"They might start asking questions. And if either of them suspected, if they slipped up and accidentally told someone, what do you think would happen?"

Remus tried to answer, but his throat was tight. All that came out was a croak.

Tad's rage seemed to subside, and it softened as his eyes widened. He approached Remus and took him by the shoulders before saying, "You're all I have left, Remus."

At the sound of his name, Remus let out a shaky breath as Tad pulled him in for a hug. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," Tad said. "But from now on, tell me in advance."

"I-I didn't…. I shouldn't have-"

"I know," Tad said. "I know."

After some time, Remus pulled away and said, "I'll get ready for bed."

"Have a good night."

Remus nodded and went upstairs. He'd lost Mam; he couldn't lose Tad, too.

---

Severus III

Note: the following contains the television show "Are you Being Served?: The Father Christmas Affair", which can be found on YouTube.

Severus straightened out his tie as he looked himself in the mirror. Tonight, he was wearing the same clothes Lily had helped him pick out in London, with the addition of this new grey tie Dumbledore had lent him. Of all the colors in Dumbledore's closet, Severus hadn't expected grey to be among them.

How do I look?

Presentable. Remember the bottles.

Of course. I hope they like it.

Considering who they are, I think only Lily will appreciate the gesture.

Not very encouraging, are you?

My apologies. Yes, they will positively guzzle it down.

Severus rolled his eyes as he went downstairs, where Snarky was dusting the table with a feather duster, as opposed to using magic. "I'll be off."

"Severus Snape's mulled wine is waiting beside the front door, as is the gift for Lily Evans."

"Very good. Happy Christmas, Snarky."

Snarky cringed at Severus and continued dusting.

Severus stepped out into the cold air, with the mulled wine and gift nuzzled safely in a shopping bag. He opened the front gate, which took a relatively long amount of time, and he was soon off to Lily's house. Each step of the way made the butterflies in his stomach flutter around, and he felt his chest heaving. This was really the first time he would have a proper Christmas dinner with Lily.

Yesterday, when Lily had invited Severus over to watch a show with John Inman in it, he had almost declined. He didn't like the man too much, and the work he was in didn't really interest him in the slightest. But Lily had insisted, and Severus had relented and watched an episode of 'Are You Being Served?' the episode titled 'The Father Christmas Affair'. And after seeing Lily explode with snorting laughter at the variety of jokes, such as Mr. Lucas giving an excuse for cooking his breakfast in an electric trouser press and Mr. Humphries entering the department store in a fur coat and fur boots, Severus was starting to see what sort of audience this was geared towards. He didn't like Mr. Lucas; he reminded him too much of Potter and Black, minus the wealth. Personally, he liked Captain Peacock the most. Eventually, Lily and Mrs. Evans were screaming with laughter as the animatronic Father Christmas said, "Ho ho ho, little boy! Have I got a surprise for you!" and proceeded to flash the staff members of the department store. When Mr. Humphries fainted from shock, the laughter suddenly grew even louder. The only time the two of them were silent was the part at the end where Mr. Grainger was in what Lily called 'blackface'; coincidentally, that was the only time Mr. Evans roared with laughter.

Severus smiled to himself as he recalled the pure joy on Lily's face (at least prior to the end of the program). Part of him wanted to be the one to bring her that same joy, but he knew he wasn't the right fit for the job. It was a miracle that Lily was even calling him by his first name again, let alone inviting him over for Christmas dinner, but it was something he hoped for all the same. Where Professor Snape had failed, Severus had to succeed.

Severus knocked on the door to the Evans home, and he heard someone from within running down the stairs. Suddenly, the door swung open, and Lily….

Oh, my God.

Lily was wearing a red turtleneck with jeans, and she'd done something with her hair. To most people, this would probably look normal, but the way she seemed to glow, and the way the turtleneck hugged her figure-

Get a hold of yourself!

"Hi," Severus said.

"Happy Christmas! Come in!" Lily took Severus's arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind them. "You brought the wine?"

"Mulled wine," Severus corrected. "I think it turned out well. Dumbledore liked it."

"And I see there's a little gift inside!" Lily almost snatched it out of the bag, and would have succeeded had Severus not seen it coming.

"After dinner," Severus said.

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans called out. "I need help with the roast!"

"Coming, Mum!"

"Should I help?" Severus asked.

"No, don't worry. Just set the wine down in the kitchen. Dad's in the study, if you want to say hello."

Severus didn't want to, but he knew Lily expected him to. "Very well."

After setting the mulled wine in the kitchen, Severus made his way upstairs, uncertain where the study was. He decided to follow his instincts, which seemed to work, and found himself in a room with bookshelves, a desk, and a few chairs and a couch surrounding a table. Mr. Evans was sitting in one of the chairs, reading an old-looking book. It wasn't extravagant, but it was enough to tell Severus that, while Mr. Evans was down-to-earth, he appreciated a good read.

"Severus." Mr. Evans shut the book, and Severus could see he had been reading Wuthering Heights. "You're on-time."

"Of course, sir," Severus said. "I didn't want to arrive too early and make Mrs. Evans uncomfortable."

Mr. Evans nodded in approval. "Good. Now-"

"Dinner!" Lily called up.

"After dinner, then," Mr. Evans said, gesturing for Severus to follow. His breathing was shallow, but he did a very good job at hiding it.

Mr. Evans sat down at the table, with Lily and Mrs. Evans at either side. Severus sat across from him and looked at what was being served. There was roast mutton, along with roasted vegetables, and a small gravy boat next to a small plate of Yorkshire pudding.

"The mutton was on-sale," Mrs. Evans said. "Tuck in! And happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas!" Lily raised her cup, along with her parents, and they toasted. Severus lifted his as well, but only Lily toasted him.

Severus didn't want to dislike the meal, but the taste of the mutton was overpowering. He almost considered drowning it in gravy, if not for Mr. and Mrs. Evans, as well as Lily, taking all of it; he then realized that the gravy would be too rich, and so he was less bothered by it. What bothered him was that, while there were eight pieces of Yorkshire pudding set out, he only got one while Mr. Evans got three. Fortunately, the roast vegetables were suitable for diluting the taste of mutton.

"So, Severus," Mr. Evans said. "How is school?"

"I'm doing well, all things considered," Severus answered.

"What things?" Mrs. Evans asked with an obviously-false politeness.

"Well, there have been-" Severus felt Lily's foot slam directly into his shin. Fortunately, he was a master at masking pain. "-times where I find the work a bit much."

"And what sort of work is this?" Mr. Evans asked. "Lily is taking her N.E.W.T.s, along with performing her Prefect duties."

"I'm also taking a few classes," Severus said. "As well as-"

"Don't be modest," Lily cut in. She turned to her father and said, "Severus is taking thirteen advanced classes."

"Is that so?" Mr. Evans might have been impressed if anyone else had been sitting across from him. "Tell me about them."

"Well, it would seem that I'm quite popular in Divination and Muggle Studies," Severus said, going along with the conversation.

"Oh, so even after you called our daughter a mudblood?" Mrs. Evans asked nastily.

"Mum!' Lily hissed.

"No, she's right," Mr. Evans said. "I think you owe my family an apology."

Severus bit his tongue. He hadn't even thought about what that word fully meant when he'd said it. Naturally, they would have hated him even more after hearing what he'd said. He set his knife and fork down and said, "I would like to apologize for my behavior these past few years. What I said to Lily was wrong, and I offer no excuses. Is there anything I can do for you to make things right?"

Severus kept eye contact with Mr. Evans, but he could see out of the corner of his eye the look of disdain on Mrs. Evans's face. And out of the other corner, he could tell that Lily was looking right at him, but he couldn't properly see her expression.

After a few seconds had passed, Mr. Evans said, "After pudding, come to my study. We'll have a drink and talk it over."

Severus wasn't so sure about the offer. "Oh, I don't-"

Say yes.

I don't drink!

I do!

"-think I could refuse," Severus finished.

"Not on your life," Mr. Evans said. "I have a brandy that was bottled in '46."

After they finished dinner, Mrs. Evans served a figgy pudding, which Severus struggled to eat. If he kept this up, he would be stuck in the toilet for the next few hours. During that time, Severus saw Lily glance at him a few times, a look of worry on her face. Something inside him said that something bad was going to happen, but he didn't know what. All he knew was that it was to do with Mr. Evans.

Soon enough, Lily and Mrs. Evans were cleaning up the table. Mr. Evans got up and said, "Come with me, Severus. Time for that drink."

Everything told Severus not to go, but he thought about Lily. The only reason he was here was to show her that he wasn't the same as before, that he would be better this time. Reluctantly, after relieving himself in the upstairs bathroom, Severus followed.

They returned to the room where Mr. Evans had been sitting before, and Severus was sat down on the couch while Mr. Evans went and retrieved two glasses and a bottle. He set one glass in front of Severus and opened up the bottle, pouring it slowly. Severus felt his heart race as the liquid steadily went higher and higher, and it almost reached the brim when Mr. Evans stopped pouring. For himself, he poured the brandy a third of the way up.

"Drink," Mr. Evans said, sitting down. He locked his eyes on Severus's.

Severus gulped as he looked down at the glass. The smell alone made him sick. "Sir, I don't think I can."

"Drink."

Severus steadied himself and reached for the glass, taking it in both hands before raising it to his lips. He made the mistake of breathing through his nostrils as he did, and the smell blasted through his nostrils. He coughed from it before holding his breath as he took a sip, and a burning liquid went down his throat and made him gag. He felt light-headed.

"Now then," Mr. Evans said, taking a sip of his own, "tell me about what you've been up to this past term."

Severus was about to set the glass down, but he saw the look in Mr. Evans's eye. He kept hold of the glass, taking another painful sip before saying, "Well, Dumbledore enrolled me in my classes-"

"Thirteen of them." There was a hint of curiosity in Mr. Evans's voice.

"Yes, sir. I was ill over the summer, and I lost much control over my body. Dumbledore signed me up for those courses to help me regain my motor skills as quickly as possible."

"What sort of illness?"

"I believe it was stress-related." Severus didn't feel as wary as he normally did, and he finally realized what was happening: Mr. Evans was loosening his lips.

"Lily says that you've been making friends."

"I have one other friend. Mary MacDonald."

"I know Mary," Mr. Evans said. "She's a good girl. Three years younger than you, too. Drink."

Severus took a sip.

"A bigger drink."

Severus looked down at the glass and took a deep breath through his mouth before gulping more down. He could feel a cold sweat on his body.

"She's three years younger than you," Mr. Evans continued. "Now, why would a boy your age be involved with a girl her age?"

"It's not like that," Severus said in a hurry. "I did her a favor, and then she invited me to play Gobstones." His head was starting to feel fuzzy.

"Is that so?" Mr. Evans took another sip. "Lily says you also tutor her."

Severus nodded, which was a mistake. He was having trouble focusing. "She came to me for help with her Potions class. But this past month, I've been tutoring everyone in Potions."

"Everyone?"

"Anyone that wants to." Severus was starting to breathe heavier than normal. "Gilderoy bloody Lockhart being one of them."

"Who's that?"

"A second-year narcissist who thinks he's the second coming of Merlin." This time, Severus willingly took a drink. "The fool couldn't brew tea, let alone a potion."

"And who else?"

"Evan Rosier wanted me to tutor the Slytherins to prepare them for the exams, but I opened it up to everyone. More opportunities for money."

"So, you care about money then?"

"What good am I if I can't earn my keep?" Severus took another painful sip. "I want to be worth something. More than everyone else thinks of me."

"And how does Lily factor in?"

Severus hardened his mind, Occluding as much as he could, but his body wasn't used to alcohol. "I don't… I don't want her to think I can't… I want her to think I'm worth something."

"Is that why you've been trying to win her back? So she sees that you're valuable to her?"

Severus shook his head before taking another sip. Everything was starting to become blurry. "No…. I know I failed her… I betrayed her trust, and I…." Severus set the glass down. "I can't lose her again."

Mr. Evans didn't respond immediately to what Severus said. But eventually, he asked, "What does Lily mean to you?"

"Everything." There was no hesitation in Severus's answer as he looked Mr. Evans in the eye. Realizing what he was admitting to, he looked down and said, "No matter how hard it is to get along with the people I hate, I'll do anything it takes to make it right."

"Do you hate me?"

"No," Severus said. "If anything, you hate me."

"You think I hate you?" Mr. Evans's tone sounded harder than before.

"You're getting me drunk so I let my guard down," Severus said, calling Mr. Evans out. He picked up the glass and took another big sip before setting it down. "But aside from that, it's obvious."

"You don't have to drink anymore if you don't want to."

"Yes, I do." Severus drained the glass and set the glass down as gently as possible. "You wouldn't have it any other way."

"If you think I hate you, then why did you come here? To spite me and my wife?"

Severus shook his head. "Lily asked me to."

"And if she hadn't?"

"I would have stayed home."

"Lily has mentioned that there are problems at school. Something to do with students being hurt."

"There's… there's a monster attacking students," Severus slurred out. "A basilisk."

"A what?"

"It's a giant snake that can kill you by making eye contact. Dumbledore doesn't want there to be too much of a panic-"

"I'm not sending Lily back to a school where there's such a thing on the loose!" Mr. Evans sounded alarmed. "You can't seriously tell me you actually want her to go back."

"You're right," Severus said. "She shouldn't be at Hogwarts. It's no place for someone like her."

"What do you mean?"

"Muggle-born," Severus explained, "Th-"

"What?" It wasn't Mr. Evans's voice.

Mr. Evans looked past Severus with mild shock, and Severus spun his head around to find Lily standing in the doorway, an odd expression on her face.

"How long have you been there?" Severus asked.

"Long enough." Lily's voice was uneven for some reason. "Long enough to hear that I don't belong at Hogwarts."

"Lily…." Mr. Evans's voice also sounded odd. Something was wrong.

"I don't know what I was expecting," Lily said. "But I guess I should've known that a filthy little mudblood like me didn't belong in your world."

"No, I-"

"You told me you changed. I don't know why I even…." Without finishing her sentence, Lily turned and left.

"Wait," Severus called out, struggling to his feet. He swayed to the side before falling back on the couch. Forcing himself up a second time, he stumbled out of the room and toward the door that had slammed moments ago. "Lily!"

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"L-" Severus's breathing grew fast and erratic. "Please listen-"

"GET OUT!" Something hard hit the door, and it fell to the floor with a dull thump.

It couldn't be over. Severus couldn't lose her again, but he had. He knew she was never one to listen to him; she always jumped to conclusions. But it didn't matter if this was a misunderstanding; what mattered was that all the work he'd put in to make amends with Lily, all the things he'd done despite how he felt, was for nothing. The worst part wasn't that Lily had misunderstood; it was that she refused to let him explain. Knowing that Lily was choosing to block him out, that she didn't care about what he had to say for himself, was too much.

Severus backed away from the door, his eyes stinging as he fought against the twisting of his face. He tried to hold it together with his hands, and he found that his cheeks were wet. He let out a shuddered breath as he tried to Occlude. Without warning, a hand rested on his shoulder.

"I would say it's time for you to leave," Mr. Evans said, "but the weather outside has grown worse. You can spend the night in the guest room and leave tomorrow."

Severus didn't have the strength to refuse, and he felt himself being led to one of the other rooms. Mr. Evans left and returned with pajamas in his hand. He said, "I have some spare pajamas you can wear. Keep them."

Severus quietly took them, and as Mr. Evans shut the door, Severus collapsed.

---

Lily IV

"Come with me, Severus. Time for a drink." Dad led Severus upstairs to his study.

Lily wasn't sure why Severus accepted the offer. She knew Tobias was a drunk, and that Eileen had started drinking as well. Surely, he wouldn't want to have any part of that, and if he was predisposed to that, what would it do to him? If he started drinking, like his parents had, who would he become?

"Lily, mind the plates."

"Sorry, Mum." Lily focused on rinsing off the plates, while Mum packed away some of the leftovers for bubble and squeak for tomorrow's breakfast. Every now and then, she glanced at the wrapped present in the bag Severus brought, sitting by the untouched bottles of mulled wine. "What do you think of him?"

"Hmm." Mum didn't sound very pleased.

"He's not that bad, is he?"

"He has better manners than I had expected." Mum put the packed vegetables in the ice box. "Although he looks rather greasy, doesn't he?"

"Mum!' Lily's face reddened. "What if he can hear you?"

"This is my house. I can speak at whatever volume I wish." Mum finished packing away the leftovers and started helping Lily with washing up. "In any case, your father will get to the bottom of this. The truth will out."

"You can't still think he's trying to leech off us, do you?"

"Didn't you see how eager he was in accepting your father's invitation for a drink? Just like Tobias Snape, that boy. Hopefully not as bad; the last thing we need is a nonce in the house."

"He. Is. Not. Like. That." Lily could stay here and listen to what Mum was saying. She finished washing up and said, "I'm taking my present up to my room. Wouldn't want you to faint at the sight of whatever ghastly thing that Snape boy got me, would you?"

"Lily Joanne Evans, you do not take that tone with me!" Mum's voice was a quiet hiss. "You should be grateful that I even allowed that Snape boy to step foot on my front porch, let alone your father's study."

Lily bit back a response. Instead, she quietly took the present out of the bag and went upstairs. She passed by to hear Dad and Severus talking, but she didn't stay long enough to hear anything. Sitting down in her room, she set the present down beside her. While she was tempted to open it, she was more tempted to hear what the two were talking about.

Lily made her way to the study, stepping in slightly to announce herself when she heard Dad say, "You can't seriously tell me you actually want her to go back."

"You're right," Severus said. "She shouldn't be at Hogwarts. It's no place for someone like her."

"What do you mean?"

"Muggle-born," Severus explained, "Th-"

"What?" Lily couldn't stop the word from slipping out as she took in what Severus was saying. Hogwarts was no place for someone like her. A Muggle-born. A mudblood.

"How long have you been there?" Severus asked. He sounded nervous.

"Long enough." Lily tried to keep her voice even, but failed. "Long enough to hear that I don't belong at Hogwarts."

"Lily…." Dad's voice sounded odd.

"I don't know what I was expecting," Lily said, ignoring Dad as the back of her throat starting to ache. "But I guess I should've known that a filthy little mudblood like me didn't belong in your world."

"No, I-"

"You told me you changed. I don't know why I even…." … why I even tried. Lily couldn't finish her sentence, and she turned and left.

Lily rushed to her room, slamming the door shut and locking it before pulling a chair in front to keep it from opening. She heard Severus… she heard Snape call out, "Lily!"

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"L-" Snape's breathing was growing fast and erratic. "Please listen-"

"GET OUT!" Lily threw the present at the door hard, and it struck with a loud bang before falling down behind the chair and onto the floor.

Marlene was right. Sirius was right. Tom was right. Snape hadn't changed. He'd been lying to her since the night he stood outside the portrait hole. At that point in time, he was nothing but Snivellus Snape to her, and she wished she could see him as that again. She could have handled what Snape had said if she was as indifferent as before, but that wasn't the case. She covered her mouth and began to cry, not because of what Snape had said, but because he had tricked her into caring for him again. He tricked her into thinking Sev was back.

There was a soft knock on her bedroom door. "Lily?" It was Dad.

"I don't want to talk," Lily called out, her voice breaking to her embarrassment.

"Open the door, love."

Lily sat for a while, but she couldn't hear Dad leaving. Reluctantly, she got up and moved the chair out of the way before unlocking the door. As she opened, Dad gently walked past her and took the chair, setting it down by the bed. Lily went over to him and sat back down where she'd been.

"Is he gone?" Lily asked.

"No," Dad answered. "The weather's gotten worse, so I've let him spend the night."

"He can freeze to death for all I care," Lily huffed.

"You can't say things like that."

"Why not? You and Mum hate him; why shouldn't I?"

Dad didn't answer immediately, but eventually, he asked, "How much did you hear?"

"I heard enough," Lily sniffed. "He doesn't think I belong at Hogwarts."

"Lily-"

"You and Mum were right about him. Maybe he just wanted to come in and weasel his way back into my life, just as some sort of game."

"Do you know what we were talking about before that?"

Lily shook her head.

"Severus told me that Hogwarts wasn't safe. There's some sort of monster called a basilisk that can kill people by looking at it. I wouldn't want you going back, either."

Lily didn't know how Snape would know something like that, but she thought about how she had reacted. He'd tried to explain, but she refused to listen. She felt like a fool now. Lily dried her tears with her sleeve and sniffed a bit. She didn't have any reason to cry. "What else did he say?" she asked.

"We talked about Mary MacDonald and how he tutors other students. I'm somewhat impressed by his work ethic." Dad turned a bit in his chair. "I'm not saying that I like him, but he's exceeded my expectations."

"And Mum?"

"It may take some time to convince her… but I think she might come around. We might need to spend more time with him, but I'm not against it." Dad looked down at the present that had been pushed to the side by the door, and he got up and retrieved it. Sitting back down with a sigh, he handed it to Lily and said, "And there was one more thing."

"What?"

"He told me you meant the world to him. I don't think there's anything that boy wouldn't do to make things right between you."

Lily's heart stopped. "He said that?"

"With a bit of liquid courage. Actually, quite a lot of it; he drank the full glass down."

Lily laughed a little, and it hurt.

"I'll be off to bed," Dad said. "Happy Christmas."

"Night, Happy Christmas." As the door shut, Lily looked down at the present and picked it up again. It felt like some sort of book. She carefully unwrapped it and set it down by her table lamp so she could see the title. The front said The Language of Flowers.

Lily opened the book and found a bookmark wedged in the middle. She would have read the page it had been placed in if not for noticing Snape's… Severus's handwriting on the bookmark itself. There was a list of names of flowers and plants that Lily didn't have the energy to look over, but she would try when she had the opportunity. She looked back down at the book and smiled. She'd never thought of Severus as a romantic….

Reality hit as Lily realized how Severus must be feeling right now, and her heart sank. She couldn't leave things like this until the morning. She stood and left her room, going a few doors down to the guest room. The door was shut. Lily knocked softly, saying, "Severus? Can we talk?"

There was no response.

"Dad told me what you talked about. I overreacted, and I… I didn't wait to hear what you had to say. Can I come in?"

Nothing.

Lily knocked again. "Severus?" When he didn't answer, she carefully turned the knob, finding it was unlocked, and she found Severus in bed, wearing a pair of her father's old pajamas. He hadn't even pulled the covers over himself.

As Lily moved closer, she could see that his cheeks were wet, and his face seemed stuck in a sort of grimace. His lip was moving slightly, and she could hear him breathing softly, although it sounded strained. He must have been cold.

Lily gently lifted his legs, one at a time, to help bring the blanket over him, but she seemed to have been too disruptive. Severus's eyes opened slightly, and he looked at her. "Lily?" His voice sounded tired, and she could smell the brandy on his breath.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, kneeling beside the bed. "I didn't wait to hear what you had to say. I didn't-"

"No," Severus slurred. He was clearly very drunk. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it!" His voice grew more desperate as a few tears began streaming down the sides of his head.

"I know," Lily said. She dried his tears with her sleeve and said, "I know, Severus."

"I…." Severus's eyelids fluttered shut, and he went slack. He was still breathing, but it was shaky.

Lily took care in pulling the blanket over him, and once she did, she saw that Severus's hair was in his face. She took it between her fingers, realizing for the first time how soft it was, and moved it to the side. As she tucked the strands behind his ears, she froze.

There were bite marks on Severus's neck.

Lily remembered the costume party, and how he'd had those marks on his neck then. She, along with everyone else, thought it was a cosmetic or charm of some sort. She gently brushed a finger along the scars and felt that they were real. Something had bitten him, and it was something large.

Was Severus really a vampire?

As Lily thought about it, something else caught her eye. Severus's pajama shirt wasn't buttoned all the way up, which allowed her to see a silver stripe on his skin. The rational side of her said not to look any further, but this was one of the few times she was ever this close to Severus. She carefully moved part of the shirt away, unbuttoning the next button, and she saw a few pale scars on his chest. One of them was deeper than the others, and had Lily not traced along it to see how deep it was, she would have thought it had carved out some of the muscle in Severus's chest.

Speaking of which, Lily had never thought that Severus would be that fit. Sure, he was fast and lean, but it wasn't the sort of build anyone would consider fit at face value. Looking now, she could see that he actually had some muscle there, and- Lily's heart broke as she moved the shirt away more, exposing the skin close to his left shoulder. There were round outlines of what looked like cigar and cigarette butts.

Not daring to look further, Lily covered Severus and buttoned his pajamas before tucking him in. His brow was now knit, and his breathing had steadied somewhat. Without thinking, Lily hovered over Severus's head. She leaned down and kissed his forehead before getting up and leaving the room. Realizing what she had just done, she turned back to see if he had woken up, but he was still fast asleep.

After shutting the door and returning to her room, Lily sat down on her bed and touched her lips. It was just a normal kiss good night, like how a mother kissed her children good night. But Severus wasn't a child, and he would never have allowed Lily to do that if he was conscious. But she couldn't overlook what she saw in his eyes as he'd looked up at her; there was nothing there but remorse and guilt. Had she really driven Severus to this point with her demands for the past few months? She didn't need someone else to answer; she knew the answer was 'yes'.

No more. Lily wasn't going to treat Severus like that anymore.

---

Severus IV

Sunday, 26 December 1976

Severus was running through the ruined house, each corridor endless with a few branching corridors to turn at. He could still hear her screaming as he tried to find her, and he had his wand drawn. He'd send the bastard to hell tonight.

Finally, Severus found the room where the screaming was coming from. Merope was on the floor, her arms pinned above her head by her brother while her father was tearing her dress away, spreading her legs apart as he placed his hips between them.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Severus swung his wand, and a white light struck Marvolo in the back, causing him to scream. Severus charged and continued shooting hexes and curses at Marvolo and Morfin, driving them away while blocking their counterfire. He grabbed Merope by the wrist, the girl barely holding her dress together. He turned to her and said, "Get out of-"

Severus froze as he stared into the eyes of his mother. Eileen looked behind Severus and screamed, "Sev, run!"

Severus turned back, but he was too late as Morfin struck him with a large fist. He was thrown back, against the wall, and he heard Eileen scream as she was dragged by her hair out of the room by Morfin.

"MUM!"

"Mummy's gone, princess." Severus dropped his wand and collapsed against the wall as Tobias Snape stood before him. "Someone's gotta pick up where she left off."

Severus tried to run, but Tobias tackled him to the ground, holding his arms down with one hand while he began tugging at his belt and pants, ripping the buttons from his shirt-

Severus bolted up from his bed with a scream and was met by a skull-splitting headache. He groaned as he shut his eyes, curling into a ball as the pain built up. He remembered everything, up until he arrived in the guest room… did he change his clothes? Severus saw that his clothes were in bundles on the floor. Perhaps he changed while he was intoxicated….

Do you remember anything?

Nothing. You drank too much.

Obviously…. Lily hates us.

… she's upset.

She hates us.

Perhaps her father explained what our conversation was… about….

What?

Do you remember what you said to him?

… oh, fuck. If he mentioned- Severus froze. He was thinking about the bookmark he'd left in the gift he gave to Lily. It was somewhat of a secret message, a collection of flowers and plants with their own meanings. He wanted to express how he felt about what happened between them, but he'd gotten carried away and added a few plants which hinted at love. Both he and Professor Snape had been so enthusiastic about it, that they'd forgotten that Lily hadn't forgiven them. Or rather, hadn't forgiven him.

Before Severus could get any farther in his thoughts, the door opened, and Lily stepped in. "Are you alright? You screamed."

"I-" Severus wasn't prepared. He didn't expect Lily to see him in his, or Mr. Evans's, pajamas. He pulled the covers over himself, which caused another wave of pain to pass through his head. He winced and said, "About last night, I never meant-"

"I know," Lily said, sitting on the bed. "Dad told me what happened."

"... how much?"

Lily smiled and said, "He thinks you have a good work ethic." It looked like she was holding back.

As much as Severus wanted to look into her mind, he couldn't. It was one thing to invade someone's privacy; it was another to invade Lily's. Instead, he asked, "Did you open your present, by any chance?"

"Yeah, that book on flowers. I haven't read it, but I was going to after breakfast. I'm guessing that bookmark is part of it?"

"Actually, that was a mistake," Severus quickly said. "I was writing down different plants to experiment with."

"You need a notebook," Lily said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"... you're… not angry anymore?"

The amusement on Lily's face seeped away, leaving a gentle look. "It was my fault."

Severus blinked. "What?"

"I didn't stop to listen when I should have. I was just… when I heard you say that, I…. I don't want to lose you again, either."

So… it seemed Mr. Evans told her everything. Severus felt his face warm as he said, "I… you mentioned breakfast?"

"Bubble and squeak," Lily said. "Do you like Branston pickle?"

"I don't know what that is."

"Pickled chutney."

"Is it… bostin?" Severus forced himself to bring some levity to the conversation to keep his mind off of the hangover.

Lily fought back a smirk and said. "Quite bostin. Get dressed." She got up from the bed and left, shutting the door behind her.

Severus let out a sigh of relief as he got out of bed and bent down to grab his clothes, which proved to cause the blood to rush to his head and worsen his headache. Keeping his eyes closed and moving at a snail's pace, he managed to dress himself. As he did so, he thought about what Lily had said.

It was her fault.

Severus wasn't used to Lily admitting fault; it wasn't impossible, but it was usually for small, inconsequential things. He didn't know what Mr. Evans had said to her, or what had happened after he'd entered the guest room, but something told him there was a shift in the wind. If Lily was willing to listen to him… maybe there was hope.

Severus made his way downstairs to find Lily cooking breakfast with Mrs. Evans. Mr. Evans was sitting at the table, reading what looked like an old newspaper. He turned his head and said, "Good morning, Severus."

Severus winced at the volume of Mr. Evans's voice. "Good morning, sir."

"Sit. Breakfast will help."

Severus complied, and he was overwhelmed by the plate put before him: sliced mutton fried with last night's vegetables, and a black spoonful of Branston pickle on the side. He didn't know what was worse: the hangover or the smell. Reluctantly, he picked up the fork, took some of the meat with Branston pickle, and ate.

"I apologize for last night," Severus said to Mr. Evans.

"Has Lily not talked to you yet?"

"She has," Severus explained. "She said what she needed to say."

"Then, why are you apologizing?"

"... well," Severus said, trying to think why he was apologizing. He was apologizing for upsetting Lily, but Lily had admitted that she'd not only overreacted, but refused to hear any explanations. So, in a way, he was apologizing for Lily's reaction…. "I don't know, actually."

"Well, if you don't know why you're apologizing, then don't apologize." Mr. Evans set the paper down as his plate came over, along with Lily's and Mrs. Evans's.

"I'll bring the eggs over now," Mrs. Evans said, although she gave Severus a look. She turned and left, bringing over a frying pan with four eggs. She placed one fried egg on top of each of the plates of bubble and squeak, and Severus watched as Lily broke the yolk of hers and began eating it with the mutton.

Breakfast didn't seem to help with the hangover; Professor Snape had learned that, while greasy foods helped before drinking, it made symptoms worse after drinking. He was better off eating oatmeal or potatoes, if there were any in the house, but he didn't want to anger Mrs. Evans even more than she seemed to be. Apparently, sleeping in the guest room was something she didn't approve of.

After breakfast, Severus excused himself to go to the toilet, after which he retrieved the bookmark from the book and returned downstairs to find Lily putting on her jacket and boots. "Where are you off to?" Severus asked.

"I thought I could walk you back," Lily said. "It's not far. Also, I forgot to give you your gift."

Severus nodded; he'd forgotten about receiving gifts. "Let me get my coat."

Soon, both were dressed and out the door. Severus walked slightly ahead of Lily, while the latter hurried to keep pace. "Slow down," Lily said. "I thought we could talk."

Severus slowed his pace. "About?"

"I… I think we should have some of our talk right now."

Severus stopped in place. "Are you sure?"

"More than ever. I think I'm starting to understand what you meant when you said 'we'." Lily's eyes darted away for the briefest moment. "Last night, I jumped to conclusions about what you meant, and I made a total fool of myself."

"Positively dunderheaded."

Lily punched Severus's arm. "Thanks for that…. I didn't try to listen, and I didn't even notice until Dad came in to talk. I'm sorry I assumed the worst of you."

"I thought you already apologized-"

"This is more than that. I want you to call me out whenever I do something like this again."

Severus wasn't prepared for this. "I don't think you'll slip up again."

"If I do, don't let me get away with it."

"... very well." Severus stood quietly, not sure what else to say, and Lily did the same. His eyes darted over her whole face, taking in the girl he'd fallen for. She didn't have that judgmental look on her face. Right now, she looked at him with affection.

"Right, I forgot!" Lily unbuttoned her coat slightly and pulled out a package. "Open it."

Severus did as he was told, ripping it open and dropping the paper as he unfurled a red and green scarf. He felt it over, noting how soft and smooth it was.

"Here, let me." Lily took the scarf and wrapped it around Severus's neck, taking care to tuck it into his coat. "How does it feel?"

Severus put a hand to the scarf and noted how comfortably it sat. "It's soft," he said.

"Cost an arm and a leg," Lily said, smirking. "With how thin you are, it's a miracle you don't catch your death in this weather."

"I'm used to the cold." Severus was at a loss for words. Apparently, so was Lily.

They stood in place, not speaking for an awkward amount of time. Suddenly, Lily pulled her hands away (Severus hadn't even registered that they were holding onto his scarf) and said, "Well, how about a second breakfast?"

"A second-" Severus was amazed that Lily still had an appetite.

"Fish and chips?"

"Where would you like to sit?"

"The riverbank's a bit muddy, so maybe just a bench."

Severus agreed, and the two of them made their way to the chippy next to the Railview. Fortunately, it was open, and the two of them hurried out of the cold and into the shop as the man behind the counter greeted them.

"What can I get for you?" he asked.

"Fish and chips," Lily said.

"Make that two," Severus added.

"Right then, two fish and chips. That'll be a pound."

Severus dug into his pocket, where he had hidden his money pouch, and pulled out a pound. He was happy that the pouch could convert wizarding currency into Muggle currency at will. He set a pound note on the counter as the man handed them their food.

"Have a good day," the man said.

"You too," Lily returned. "Happy Christmas!"

They walked outside and found a bench near the bus stop, where Lily sat down and began picking the batter off the fish before taking a bite. Severus smiled out of the corner of his mouth at the sight and did the same, thinking back to the first time they'd gotten fish and chips together.

"Got them!" Lily hurried to sit beside Severus on the riverbank. She handed him what she called 'fish and chips', some sort of fried fish and straws of fried potato. "You'll love it! Even Tuney can't help but love them!"

"I can't imagine your sister enjoying something so common, Miss Evans," Severus said snobbishly.

Lily giggled and nudged him. "Come on! Try it!"

Severus nodded and took a bite of the fried fillet of fish… and he was met with an unpleasant, greasy flavor in his mouth. He wasn't old enough to know exactly what sort of negative health consequences came with eat this, but he could feel it almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" Lily looked worried. "You look like you'll be sick!"

Severus forced himself to swallow and shook his head. "It's fine," he lied.

Lily, not believing him, took a bite from her own. She didn't even tear the piece off the rest of the fish; instead, her mouth simply remained wrapped around the fried food, unmoving as her expression turned from confusion to disgust. She pulled away, her brow furrowing and her mouth frowning. "What did they do to it?!" she asked aloud.

"Maybe they changed the recipe?" Severus asked.

"The batter's…." Lily didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she let her arms drop, the fish and chips spilling onto the grass as she began sulking.

"Hey, it's not that bad," Severus said, trying to reassure her. "It's just fish-"

"It's special to me!" Lily said. "It's the first thing Mum bought for me when we all went to the Dudley Zoo for the first time." Her lip was starting to quiver.

Severus didn't know how Lily could cry so often about the simplest things. He scooted himself closer and said, "Look, how about you just peel the batter off and eat the fish?" He demonstrated, peeling off some of the batter and tossing it into the river before taking a bite. The fish wasn't half-bad. "See? Much better."

Lily looked down at the fish she'd dropped on the grass. "... it's dirty," she moped.

Severus looked down at his fish and held it in front of her. "Here. Take mine."

"But, what about you?"

Severus grabbed the fish off the ground and peeled the batter off once more, taking a bite. "Fish swap."

That brought a smile to Lily's face, and she began awkwardly peeling the batter off and tossing it into the river, just like Severus….

Severus and Lily peeled away at their fish and tossed the batter into a nearby bin. As they did, Lily asked, "Dad said you knew about what was going on at school."

Severus didn't like the way Lily said that. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you told him about what exactly it was that's responsible."

"... right."

"How long have you known?"

Severus stopped eating. "I… since Creevey."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"If I did, don't you think everyone would suspect me even more?"

"... I suppose that's true." Lily took a chip and popped it into her mouth. "How did you figure it out, anyway?"

"Not many creatures can cause petrification," Severus answered. If he told her he could sense it, it would implicate him even more. "And Cresswell confirmed my theory."

"How?"

"Reflective surfaces. Creevey had the lens, and Cresswell had the flask."

"... that's why you told me to carry a mirror."

Severus nodded, eating a chip. "That's why I don't want you going back."

"And what about you?"

"What?"

"I can't go back, but you can?"

Severus stopped himself from groaning. He should've known she would make this argument. "It's not the same."

"Why not?"

"Look," Severus said, lowering his voice. "If my theory is correct, then that means only Muggle-borns are in danger of being attacked."

"Then, Mary shouldn't go back, either."

"You're right."

"But what about everyone else?"

"No one should go back," Severus said, thinking it would end the conversation.

"Not everyone would agree to that," Lily said. "Look, Dumbledore hasn't closed the school down yet-"

"He ought to."

Lily stopped eating. "Does he know?"

"I told him my theory," Severus said. It was technically true. "He doesn't want to cause a panic, given the current… political climate involving certain people."

"Do you think You-Know-Who and his followers are involved?"

"I think the attacks would embolden them," Severus said carefully. "It would show that Dumbledore is weak."

Lily took another chip. "It's that serious?"

Severus nodded. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"And I don't want my friends getting hurt, either," Lily shot back. "You're not the only one who has people to lose. If they're going back to school, then I'm going as well."

"Lily-"

"I'm not negotiating this." Lily turned her body slightly to face Severus. "If I lost Mary, or Marlene, or… I have to be there to protect them."

"Then I'll be there to protect you." Severus hadn't meant to say that out loud, and his face warmed.

Lily's face went beet-red. "Well," she said, "I guess we'll be protecting each other, then?"

Severus nodded. "Right."

Protecting Lily was Severus's chief goal. While it wasn't the sole reason Professor Snape had come back, it was the most important thing to both of them. Lily was cheated out of a long and happy life, even if it was with James bloody Potter, and it was Severus's fault. He was the one who drove her into Potter's arms, he was the one who swore allegiance to people who wanted her dead, he was the reason she died. He destroyed her in his original life. While he wasn't religious, he swore to whatever god existed that she would live, even if he had to die.