Chapter 12: Happy Birthday
Regulus I
Friday, 31 December 1977
Malfoy Manor was just as immaculate as Regulus remembered it from the last Christmas holiday. The room seemed to glow white from the number of ornate ice sculptures catching the light; some were in the shape of simple animals, such as swans and peacocks, while others were more complex, such as dragons and manticores. But it was the first time Regulus and his parents had come without Sirius, much to their shared relief; Mother was relieved Sirius wouldn't shame the family, Father was relieved Mother wouldn't make a scene, and Regulus was relieved Kreacher wouldn't have to discipline Sirius. Unlike other times, though, Mother and Father wouldn't be staying; they were busy trying to lay claim to Uncle Alphard's fortune; they didn't need it, but rumor had it that Sirius was going to inherit once Alphard died, and Mother couldn't tolerate that.
"Reg!" Cousin Cissy hurried out from one of the side rooms and took him by the arms, planting a kiss on each cheek. She was wearing an elegant black dress, and her hair was in a ponytail. "You're early!"
"A Black is never late," Mother replied, raising her chin high.
"Lucius is busy organizing the house-elves," Cissy explained. "He should be here soon."
"Sooner than you might think," a voice came from another side room. Lucius walked out in his dress robes, cane in hand. "Lord and Lady Black. A pleasure to see you."
"It's been too long," Father said, nodding politely. "A pity Walburga and I can't stay."
"Yes, I wish you well in your battle," Lucius said.
"We'll leave Kreacher in your care," Father said to Regulus. "Have him Apparate you home once you're ready to leave."
"Yes, Father."
"Give my regards to Evan," Mother said, kissing Cissy on the cheek before she and Father departed, having Kreacher Disapparate with them before the house-elf returned.
"Your housemates are in the sitting room," Lucius said to Regulus. "Shall we?"
"Of course." Regulus followed Lucius into the sitting room, where he found quite a few of his housemates. Mulciber and Avery were playing wizard chess for a small stack of Galleons, while Wilkes and Rosier were sharing a glass of wine. There were others of course, some in Regulus's own year, but they weren't too relevant to him.
"The Carrows will return shortly. It would seem that they both had need for the lavatory." Lucius shot Regulus a suggestive look, and Regulus felt his stomach tighten. He had a limit to how pure he believed blood should be. "Feel free to socialize. Dinner is in thirty minutes." With that, Lucius left.
Regulus made his way over to Rosier and Wilkes, and Rosier turned his head. "Ah, Regulus!"
"Evan. Wilkes."
"We would offer you a glass," Wilkes said, "but we know you don't drink."
"Thank you for your consideration," Regulus said, sitting down. "So, how have your holidays been so far?"
"Greece was extraordinary," Wilkes said, taking a sip from her goblet. "There's a certain sentimentality when looking at Muggle ruins."
Regulus sat and chatted with the two as he thought quietly to himself. He had given the book to Lucius a week ago, when the latter had invited him and his parents for a humble dinner (or as humble as Malfoy could be). But he hadn't handed the felix felicis over; he was still confused as to why Evans would put it there. He'd abandoned the theory that one of her roommates had stolen it; they were diehard Gryffindor girls.
That wasn't Regulus's chief worry. What worried him was the fact that he'd forgotten Snape's address, the one that he'd written down and sent to Lucius, who didn't seem to remember it either. He thought about any possible clues as to where it could be. The only thing he could think of was that he lived… no, it slipped away. He knew what this amnesia meant, and he didn't like it. If Snape was using the Fidelius Charm, then no one had any way of finding him.
"Dinner is served!" Dobby called out as he popped into the room.
Everyone went into the dining room, and Regulus was almost taken aback by who was present. Rosier's and Mulciber's fathers sat near the head of the table, along with Lord Nott and a man Regulus didn't recognize. Across from them sat Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, and in between them sat Cousin Bella. Everyone tucked in, which consisted of several roast lamb and an assortment of side dishes.
"It's a shame your father couldn't make it, Lucius," Lord Nott said. "I would have liked to celebrate with him."
"I'm afraid you'll find he's a busy man," Lucius replied. "As it is, the Board of Governors are preparing an investigation into the recent attacks at Hogwarts."
"I say they should let the mudbloods die off," Bella said with a laugh. "Hogwarts could do with a bit of cleaning out."
There were a few laughs at the table, with Wilkes and Avery among them. Rosier wore a calm smirk on his face, and Mulciber was expressionless.
"Well, I'm afraid that isn't how a school is run," Lucius replied. "Although, at this rate, Dumbledore may just be removed from his post for child endangerment and negligence."
The table went quiet at Lucius's words.
"Do you know anything about what's going on?" Avery asked.
"If he did," the stranger said, "he would be expected to keep his mouth shut."
"Easy, Antonin," Rosier Sr. chided. "The boy is simply curious."
Regulus knew the stranger was now: Antonin Dolohov.
Dolohov ate a piece of lamb. "Curiosity is a dangerous thing."
"Quite right," Lucius agreed. "However, let's just say that my father has taken a keen interest in this matter. Hence, the Board's current work."
"But enough of that," Mulciber Sr. said, standing to raise his goblet. "Tonight, we honor the passing of the old year and the birth of a new one. To a new era!"
"A new era!" Everyone else at the table, including Regulus, raised their goblets in response and drank.
The night went along as well as Regulus could have hoped for, apart from the Carrow twins disappearing for a second time. Rosier and Wilkes were leading a discussion on how each of the virtues of Slytherin were best exemplified, and how they could better be utilized in society. After some time, Rosier was invited by Lucius to speak somewhere private, and the older boy didn't return until perhaps ten minutes later. The same thing happened with Mulciber and Avery, separately, and also with Wilkes. The Carrow twins were invited together, naturally, and then, finally, it was Regulus's turn.
Regulus followed Lucius to the study, and Lucius stood in front of his desk. The doors shut behind them with an invisible force, and Lucius turned to face him. "Now then," Lucius said, "Firstly, I would like to reiterate my appreciation for your service this past term."
"Thank you," Regulus said. "I've worked hard to make our House proud."
"Indeed. However, that's not what I was referring to." Lucius went to one of the bookshelves and procured a black book and brought it to Regulus. It was the same book he had smuggled into Hogwarts. "Thanks to your delivery, we have made significant progress."
"I believe I don't understand," Regulus said, confused. How was this book involved?
"The less you know, the better." Lucius held the book out, gesturing for Regulus to take it. "When you return home, you will read the first page."
Regulus nodded and took the book back, sliding it into the inner pocket of his dress robes. "I have a confession to make."
"Yes?"
"There was another item with the book. A bottle of felix felicis."
Lucius raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
"The only person who could have been in possession of it is Lily Evans."
"Yes; Slughorn mentioned her achievement." Lucius nodded. "Where is it?"
"I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I kept it. I have it here." Regulus reached back in and held out the vial of golden liquid. "I apologize for not handing it over sooner."
"Of course," Lucius said, taking the vial from Regulus. He inspected it briefly before saying, "I'll see that it's put to good use. That will be all, Regulus."
Regulus nodded. "Very well. Shall we return to the others?"
The remainder of the night consisted of a game of riddles, where the guests split into two teams; the adults didn't participate, but watched from the sidelines. Regulus's team lost, surprisingly due to how well Avery was performing. Later, they sat back at the table and had pudding.
The time came to depart, and Regulus and Rosier were the last to leave. Both shook Lucius's hand and gave Cissy a kiss on the cheek before walking out the front door.
"A lovely night, don't you think?" Rosier asked.
"I think everything went quite well," Regulus agreed. "Lucius appreciates my efforts this year."
"And mine." Rosier slowed his pace. "I overheard my father talking with the Lestranges. If I heard them correctly, the Dark Lord will be coming to the next party."
Regulus's heartbeat went out of sync for a moment. "He's really…?"
"It's possible. Have you met him yet?"
"No. Have you?"
"Once. It was exactly one year ago to the day."
"What does he look like?"
"He's… you'll know him when you see him."
Regulus let out a quiet breath. If the Dark Lord was going to attend the next party, then he had to put his best foot forward. He hoped the potion he gave to Lucius would be worth something.
They reached the boundary of the Malfoy estate, far enough away where Rosier could Apparate hom. "I'll see you at school." Without another word, Rosier Disapparated.
"Kreacher?"
Pop. "Master Regulus is ready to return home?"
Regulus nodded. "If you would."
Kreacher took Regulus by the hand, and the two of them Apparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place, in Regulus's room. "How was the party, Master Regulus?"
"It was fantastic," Regulus said enthusiastically, taking the book out and placing it on the desk. "The lamb was to die for."
"Does Master Regulus require anything?"
"No," Regulus said. "Except… perhaps, we could wait for the New Year together? I don't want to wake Mother and Father."
Kreacher's ears went up. "That would be good, sir." He looked over at the book on the table, and his naked brow furrowed. "What is that?"
"What?" Regulus moved protectively between Kreacher and the book.
"There is a magic about that book, Master. It is unwise to stand so close to it."
"You forget yourself," Regulus said sternly. He had been entrusted with the book, for whatever reason, and he wouldn't allow anyone to jeopardize its safety. "What I do with what I'm given is my business."
"Forgive Kreacher," Kreacher said, bowing down. "Master Regulus is right."
"... no, I shouldn't have said that to you." Whatever Regulus had felt dissipated when he saw Kreacher cower. He couldn't bring himself to treat him this way. "In the future, don't concern yourself with the book. Mention it to no one."
"Very well. Does the offer still stand to wait for the new year?"
Regulus smiled, putting the book in his desk drawer. "Of course."
Severus I
Sunday, 9 January 1977
Severus awoke to the feel of bindings around his wrists and ankles. He was on his bed, the covers gone, and his chest and stomach resting on the hard, springy mattress. It was a bed that hadn't been used in years, ever since the fighting had started. But now, there wasn't any more fighting. Now, there was only Severus and Tobias.
Severus didn't remember what happened last night. All he knew was that he'd sat down with Tobias and had dinner, avoiding eye contact. But he didn't remember finishing his meal, let alone getting up and washing the dishes. Had he passed out? He certainly felt sedated-
The door slammed open, and Tobias Snape walked into the room. Severus wasn't awake enough to see what the man was doing, but he felt the mattress give slightly as-
Severus's eyes shot open, and he sat up, gasping for air. He looked around and remembered where he was: Petunia's flat. She had allowed them to stay the night so they could have enough time for the train.
"Severus, what's wrong?!" Lily rushed over and knelt beside Petunia's couch.
"You almost made me drop the eggs," Petunia complained.
"He's had a night terror," Lily said. Cupping his face, she asked, "You're alright."
Severus looked down and moved her hands away. "It's just a bad dream," he lied. "Nothing serious."
"Well, sit down and have breakfast," Petunia said briskly. "I have a busy day."
"Church?" Lily asked.
"Laundry. You've no idea how hard it is to find a good time to wash."
"I thought the laundromats would be closed," Lily said.
"Not the Jewish one."
Severus sat down at the table and began eating his scrambled eggs on toast, sipping at his tea from time to time. Petunia had a mushroom omelet, while Lily had a fried spam sandwich. As much as he hated to admit it, Petunia was a fantastic cook.
"So, you're leaving at 11:00?" Petunia asked.
"The train leaves at that time," Severus said. "I was going to do some last-minute shopping before we left."
"Same," Lily added.
"You couldn't have done it in Birmingham?" Petunia asked.
"Not quite the same thing," Lily answered, an odd sound in her voice.
"But it's Sunday."
"There might be a few Jewish shops open," Severus said.
Petunia rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her own tea.
After Severus showered and got dressed, he came out to find Lily putting on her coat. The past week in Cokeworth had done them both good. While they hadn't continued their talk, they kept to the agreement that they should both be at their best before engaging. He was still riding the high of knowing Lily would actually listen to him.
"Where are you headed?" Lily asked.
"I have to do some secret shopping," Severus replied.
"Oh? Too secret for me to find out?"
"Perhaps."
Lily grinned and said to Petunia, "We won't be long."
London was cold, but not as cold as Cokeworth. Severus knew what he wanted to get Lily, but he didn't know how he was going to pull it off. He said to her, "I'll be on my way. How about we meet back at Petunia's?"
"Are you sure?"
Severus nodded. "Positive."
"Fine. I'll see you later."
Severus held up a hand as a sort of farewell before hurrying into a back alley. "Snarky?"
Pop. "Severus Snape calls Snarky?"
"Keep your voice down," Severus said, turning his head to make sure no one could hear them. "I'm going to buy a few things, and I need you to wrap them and Apparate them to Lily's dorm room."
"Yes, sir."
"And enchant them so they can't be opened until the 30th."
"The 30th of…?"
"January."
"Very good, sir. Call for Snarky when the presents are ready." Pop.
Severus took a deep breath and went back out, looking at the signs above the doors until he spotted what he was looking for. He'd spoken to Petunia in secret the night before (for some reason), and she had (for some reason) recommended going to Denmark Street in the West End. He entered one of the shops that looked like it sold music and found himself staring at a collection of vinyl records and record players. He wouldn't bother buying a record player here; anything running on electricity would be rendered useless in Hogwarts.
"Welcome, sir!" the shopkeep called out. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"I'm shopping for a friend," Severus said. "It's her birthday in a few weeks, but I'm not sure what to get her."
"And how old will she be?"
"Seventeen."
The shopkeep gave a knowing smile. "Ah, then I have just the thing for you. If you'll come this way to our Scandinavian collection."
Severus obliged; as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't know the first thing about music. And Professor Snape didn't know the first thing about modern music. While both of them knew Lily liked the Beatles, odds are that she already had every record they ever published. If that wasn't the case, then Severus simply didn't want to buy anything involving John Lennon; the glasses reminded him of Potter.
"Here we are," the shopkeep said, picking up one of the records. The front of it had the title 'Dancing Queen' by a band called ABBA. "Would you care to sample it?"
"Sample?"
"Here, this way." The shopkeep gestured to one of the record players, which seemed to have a set of headphones plugged into it. He carefully took the record out and set it in before saying, "If you would listen."
Severus complied and put on the headphones, waiting for the music to play. Soon, he was met with the most upbeat song he'd ever heard, which wasn't saying much considering his limited experience with modern music. Eventually, the chorus came, and Severus knew this was the perfect gift when the singers sang "only seventeen".
"I'll take it," Severus said, taking the headphones off.
"Would you like to purchase the single or the album?"
"Album?"
"Excuse me for one moment." The shopkeep went back to the section they were previously at and procured another folder labeled 'Arrival'. "Here we are."
"I'll take the album." Severus might as well get his money's worth.
After buying a few albums and having them bagged, Severus hurried out of the music shop and into a back alley, had Snarky pop them away to have them prepared, and then hurried to Diagon Alley to buy a record player before having Snarky pop that away as well.
Severus hurried back to Petunia's apartment, where he found Lily saying goodbye to her sister. Their bags were sitting just outside the threshold of the doorway.
"It wasn't terrible," Petunia admitted, presumably responding to something Lily had said. "Oh, here he is now."
Lily turned and exclaimed, "Where were you?"
"Sorry I'm late," Severus said. "It took longer than I thought."
"Get everything you need?"
Severus nodded and took his trunk by the handle. "We should head out. Thank you for your hospitality, Petunia."
"Yes, you're welcome," Petunia said quickly. "Now then, I have laundry to do."
Severus and Lily hurried to King's Cross and made their way through to Platform 9 3/4, where a group of Prefects were gathered. Lupin was looking pale; the full moon had been out a few nights ago, so it was no wonder. Regulus, Rosier, and Wilkes were chatting away, something to do with the new schedule. Something was off about Regulus, and he felt that same dangerous feeling he had felt during term. As much as he wanted to pursue it, the professor side of him remembered what Dumbledore had said; if Severus acted out and exposed what he knew about the diary, which he was certain Regulus had, the Dark Lord would find out and take measures to hide the other Horcruxes. While Severus roughly knew the identities and locations of two Horcruxes, there were still three identities and locations unaccounted for. The holiday had distracted him for far too long; he had to refocus.
"I better go with the others," Lily said, touching Severus's arm. "How about you find Mary?"
Severus nodded and looked around, and he was surprised to find MacDonald holding what looked like a cruppy. Normally, crups were hostile to Muggles, and yet it seemed happy enough while licking whom Severus assumed was MacDonald's parents. "She has a new pet."
Lily turned, and Severus smirked as she covered her mouth and let out a sound of endearment. "I have to go see it; come on!" She grabbed Severus by the sleeve and dragged him to where MacDonald was.
The younger girl turned and saw the two of them approaching, and she held up the cruppy. "Look what I got for Christmas!"
"OH MY GOD, HE'S SO CUTE!" Severus almost leapt back at Lily's volume as she nuzzled against the soft fur as the creature licked her face.
"She," MacDonald said, smiling broadly. "Her name's Brandy. Dumbledore says I can bring her to Hogwarts!"
"Sev, come over here!" Lily, seemingly unaware that she'd just called Severus 'Sev', pulled him closer.
The cruppy immediately stopped licking Lily's face and stared at Severus quietly.
"I… does she like him?" Lily asked.
"I'm not sure," MacDonald said. "She usually likes everyone."
Severus looked from MacDonald to Brandy, uncertain about what he should do. "Do I pet her?"
"You can try," MacDonald said, shrugging.
Severus moved his hand closer to Brandy and shocked both Lily and MacDonald when the small dog pulled its head away and started to whine. Most shocked of all was Severus.
"I didn't do anything," Severus said to MacDonald. "What's wrong?"
"It's okay, Brandy," MacDonald cooed to the dog. "It's just Sev. Here." MacDonald reached a hand out and started rubbing Severus's shoulder "See? He's a friend. He's friendly."
"Oh, is this Severus?" MacDonald's father stepped forward and extended a hand. "I'm Martin, and this is my wife, Mona."
"A pleasure to meet you," Severus said, extending his hand to shake-
Brandy growled and snapped at Severus's hand, biting through the skin and drawing blood.
"BRANDY!" MacDonald pulled Brandy back and turned her around. "BAD! VERY BAD! YOU DON'T BITE SEV!"
"Are you alright?" Mona asked, pulling out a handkerchief and dabbing at the bite wound.
"It's not too bad," Severus said. It wasn't untrue; compared to everything he'd experienced, this wasn't bad at all. Still, it pissed him off a little, but he wasn't about to admit that. "She's a puppy. Probably just not used to certain people."
"I swear, she doesn't act like this with anyone else," MacDonald pleaded. "I'm so sorry!"
"Don't worry," Severus said, holding up his unbitten hand. "It happens. Didn't really hurt too much. Honestly, I'm just surprised she's not hostile to your parents."
"Oh, she's not a full crup," MacDonald explained. "We took her to Diagon Alley to see what she needs, and the store owner told us she was a mix. Barely any crup in at all, really."
That made sense. "I'm going to find a cabin," Severus said.
"I was going to suggest that the two of you sit together," Lily said, "but if Brandy doesn't like Severus-"
"I'll make sure she behaves," MacDonald said. "I brought-" She stopped suddenly, and Severus had a strange feeling that someone was approaching them.
"Lily!"
Fuck.
"Oh, hi James." Lily gave Potter a smile. "How was the holiday?"
"Lonely without you there," Potter said flirtatiously. "Although it was good to spend some time with the boys."
"I'll go ahead and board," Severus said, grabbing his luggage and making his way to the closest compartment. He stepped on and looked for an empty cabin, which wasn't too hard, given that he was early. He saw MacDonald bringing her own luggage, while also trying to carry her cruppy, and Severus silently sighed. He got up and met MacDonald at the entrance, where she was struggling, and he said, "I'll get your things for you."
"Are you sure?"
"It's that, or I hold the dog. And I'd rather not do that for obvious reasons." Severus lifted her first bag and led her to his cabin before going back and bringing the rest in. As he sat down, he said, "Your parents seem nice."
"They are," MacDonald said, scratching Brandy behind the ear. "I told them a bit about you and how you've been helping me with school. They thought I fancied you until I explained the situation."
"What situation?"
"Well… I mean… I don't really want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"I mean to say that you don't really want to talk about it."
"... oh."
"I'm not friends with you just to be nice… anymore." MacDonald looked out the window for a moment before continuing. "I think you're great. Or, as a Yam Yam might say… 'bostin'." The word came out about as awkwardly as Severus could imagine.
Severus felt his mouth curl up, and as much as he wanted to stop himself, he couldn't help but let out a laugh. The more MacDonald stared at him with surprise, the harder it became to control himself, and he resorted to covering his mouth with his hand.
"I didn't know you laughed," MacDonald said with a strange incredulous smile. "You look better like this."
Severus composed himself and said flatly, "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." But he could only keep a straight face for so long. Distracting himself, he said, "I wonder what's taking Lily so long…." He looked out the window at just the right moment to see Lily laughing at something Potter said.
And just like that, Severus's struggle to stop laughing vanished.
"What?" MacDonald looked out the window as well, and it didn't take long for her to say, "I don't understand why she does this. I told her-"
"Oh." The words came out colder than Severus had intended, if he wasn't starting to feel the anger rising up. "You told her what I said to you… in confidence."
"I just… I thought it would help-"
"Don't be ridiculous." Severus's good mood was thoroughly gone at this point. "All it would do is confuse her."
"I shouldn't have said anything," MacDonald admitted, her voice sounding smaller. "I… it's just frustrating to see everyone in Gryffindor being the way they are. I've started wondering if the Hat got it wrong."
Severus didn't have an answer; while he hated Gryffindor, he couldn't bring himself to hate MacDonald, even after she had betrayed his trust. "You're certainly reckless enough with other people's personal lives." The moment the words came out of his mouth, he regretted it.
MacDonald looked away and down at Brandy, who was looking up at her. The girl's lip twitched down slightly, and there was a new tension in her shoulders as she visibly swallowed. "Maybe," she replied, her voice cracking.
"... I didn't mean to upset you," Severus said, forcing himself to calm down and Occlude. "I was wrong to say that."
"No, you're right," MacDonald said, though it sounded like she didn't believe it. "You shouldn't trust me to keep a secret."
"Stop. Look at me."
MacDonald looked up with uncertainty.
"You made a mistake. I know I've made mistakes in the past, and I know I continue to make mistakes now. That doesn't excuse my behavior." Severus was calm now. "I made the mistake of undervaluing my friendship with Lily, regardless of my reasons for doing so, and I pushed her away when I was emotional. I can't make that mistake again. And I won't make that mistake with you, either. If I do, don't let me get away with it."
MacDonald was quiet for a moment, but eventually, she spoke. "I'm sorry."
"I know. I won't hold it against you. I can't afford to."
MacDonald seemed to relax in her seat, and a calm appeared on her face. She looked out the window, back to where Lily and Potter were still standing and talking, before she said, "Can I ask you a question?"
Severus felt something odd in the way she said it. "What is it?"
"You fancy Lily, don't you?"
Severus felt his face heat up and his blood freeze. "What?!"
"I'm not a dunderhead," MacDonald said. "It's pretty obvious."
"No, it's not!" Severus quickly regained his composure. "I don't 'fancy' Lily."
"You're in love with her-"
"No, I'm not!" Severus looked back out the window at Lily. With each word shared between her and Potter, he knew he was losing her more and more.
"Yes, you are," MacDonald said. "You're bending over backwards for her, even when you don't want to. Why?"
"I'm trying to…." Severus didn't want to finish the sentence. He'd thought about it carefully with each day he'd spent with Lily over the holiday.
"What?"
"... I'm trying to earn her forgiveness." Severus couldn't be bothered to hide the truth anymore. "Dumbledore said some nonsense about forgiveness being given and not earned, but I don't think that works with Lily. Not entirely. She wants actions, not empty apologies."
"You've done plenty," MacDonald said. "I mean… what are you planning to do once she forgives you?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead," Severus admitted. "I suppose we would reconcile, continue being friends, graduate, and then I would go and work at a potion shop."
"That's it?" MacDonald sounded disappointed, for some reason. "You… you really don't love her?"
Severus wanted to say 'no', but it would be a lie. And it took every bit of resolve to say, "I do love her, but I'm not in love with her."
"... really?"
"Being in love with someone is a romantic sort of love. It's just infatuation, and there's a difference between infatuation and love." Severus glanced out the window to make sure Lily was still talking with Potter, and he found that Black and Pettigrew had joined in on the conversation, along with McKinnon. He returned his attention to MacDonald and said, "Infatuation is… limiting. It's based entirely on emotions, and I can't rely on my emotions for anything important. I… you need to promise you won't tell this to anyone."
"I swear," MacDonald said, nodding.
"When Lily and I first met, we didn't get along too well; it was mostly a misunderstanding, but some of the fault lies with me and her sister. But, as time went on, we would find each other at the playground and talk about magic; she would even buy us something to eat with her allowance. Things weren't perfect between us; we were in a few heated arguments, but we always seemed to bounce back. I loved spending time with her, because she made me feel normal… somewhat. And eventually, I admit that I became infatuated with her."
"Then…." MacDonald had leaned forward slightly. "You do…?"
"I love her," Severus said. It was completely foreign to admit how he felt about Lily to such a degree. It was almost freeing. "I can't say I'm in love because that makes it sound purely romantic. And I made the mistake of conflating the two. I won't make that mistake again."
"Then what are you going to do about Potter?"
Severus wished MacDonald hadn't said that. "What do you mean?"
"When you took your luggage onto the train, he asked Lily to be his date to Hogsmeade."
"... oh." And just like that, the freedom Severus felt vanished. He wondered, despite his ability to change the past, if certain things were doomed to repeat themselves. "She said 'yes', didn't she?"
"I don't know, I didn't quite hear. But what are you going to do?"
"... I don't know."
"Well, you should-"
"The last time I tried to get in the way, it ruined our friendship."
"You-" MacDonald sounded mildly upset. "You have to try, at least. She can't really go out with him if she knows what he's like."
Severus shook his head and said, "I don't think I can say much-"
"Stop it." MacDonald's voice was raised. "I'm not going to hear any of that anymore. I know you've been doing what she wanted last term, but you have to put your foot down!"
"You think I haven't? Every time I-"
"I know!" MacDonald settled down as Brandy started whining, and she gave the crup a kiss on top of the head to calm her. "I know," she said quietly. "Just don't give up."
Severus was almost amazed by how MacDonald was behaving. He wondered if it was due to her recently-developed… changes, but it didn't seem like that was the case. He wasn't used to this degree of encouragement from anyone who didn't want something from him, and Dumbledore was no exception; he was starting to believe that even Lily wasn't an exception. "... I don't know why you're being like this."
"Because you're my friend," MacDonald said matter-of-factly.
Severus made his decision. "Then, I won't give up," he said. As he started to relax, he noticed that MacDonald seemed to be at ease, taking care to keep Brandy's hair kept. "As a matter of fact," he said, "I've gotten her something for her birthday."
"What did you get?" MacDonald asked.
"That's a secret," Severus said. "Let's just say she'll find it in her dorm room."
"How'd you get it all the way over there?"
"Magic."
MacDonald laughed a bit from that, startling Brandy slightly. "Well, I'll know when I see it. Oh, speaking of which, when's your birthday?"
"Today."
MacDonald's eyes widened. "It's- happy birthday!"
"Thank you," Severus said awkwardly.
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen. Under wizarding law, I'm now considered a man."
"Did- damn it, I should've asked you before the holiday! I would've bought something."
"Your Christmas card was enough," Severus replied. "It was smart to send it to Dumbledore."
"Well, I couldn't exactly do anything else. I swear I wrote it down." MacDonald let out a sigh and said, "Well, I'll have to buy you something at Hogsmeade. What would you like?"
"I could use some ink."
"Think a bit more ambitiously."
"How about a nice quill?"
MacDonald nodded. "A quill it is. I might have to save up a bit, though. I've seen some of the quill prices."
"Those shouldn't be that expensive."
"I meant the fancier ones. If you think I'm buying you a plain old quill, you're sorely mistaken." MacDonald pulled Brandy's face slightly so that the cruppy looked up at her. "And you're helping."
"I'd rather not have the crup help. Considering what she did to my hand, she might pick out a cursed quill."
MacDonald smirked. "Maybe. What did Lily get you?"
"She hasn't given it to me yet, but we did our shopping earlier this morning."
"I wonder what she got?"
"No idea. I didn't give her much to go on." Severus saw Lily get on the train with Lupin and the other Prefects. "Oh, she's doing her rounds now."
"I wonder how long it'll take before she sits with us?"
"No more than an hour, unless Potter decides to chat her up again." Lily had been a full hour late to the Christmas dinner party Slughorn had hosted.
"They've already talked," MacDonald said in a reassuring manner. "She won't be long."
Regulus II
Regulus wasn't comfortable where he was sitting in the Prefect's cabin. He had the diary tucked away in his trousers, and he'd originally planned to break off from the others once they had arrived at Hogwarts. The instructions on the front page of the book had told him to place it back where it had been hidden, underneath Regulus's owl's nest. It should have been perfect, if not for the recent developments discussed by the other Prefects.
Due to the attacks on Creevey and Cresswell (and now they were, in fact, being called attacks), the Ministry had started getting involved. For the duration of the year, or until the danger had been neutralized, there would be Ministry officials roaming the grounds for anyone or anything suspicious. He didn't know exactly who would be involved, but it sounded like a majority of them were trainees.
Regulus remained composed, feigning calmness as he looked at the other Prefects out of the corner of his eye. While almost everyone was present and accounted for, Evans and Lupin had gone off to talk to Sirius and his friends; according to their new protocols, all Prefects had to travel in pairs at all times, which complicated his plans. However, there was one way to bypass it.
Regulus stood and walked to the door, only to be stopped by Rosier. "Where are you going?"
"The facilities," Regulus replied.
"In pairs," Rosier reminded him.
"If you wish to accompany me, you may."
Rosier nodded and stood, and the two of them made their way to the lavatory. Regulus's instructions were very clear; no one else could know about his task. But that only applied to witches and wizards.
They eventually arrived, and Regulus stepped in. "Give me a few minutes," he said. He shut the door without waiting for Rosier to respond, and he mouthed under his breath, "Kreacher."
Pop. "M-"
Regulus clamped a hand over Kreacher's mouth, putting a finger to his own lips. He took the book out and whispered into Kreacher's ear, "Hide this under my owl's nest in the Hogwarts Owlery. Tell absolutely no one."
Kreacher nodded, took the book, popped away and back, and nodded again.
Regulus nodded in thanks and whispered, "Go."
Pop.
Ironically enough, Regulus did actually feel the need to relieve himself. Once he was done, he exited the lavatory, and he and Regulus returned to the cabin, where they found Evans and Lupin sitting down. Sitting down, Regulus felt a wave of relief hit him, not to mention how much more comfortable he was without a book tucked in the back of his trousers. Now all he had to worry about was the attacks on the student body.
Remus I
Remus found himself accompanying Lily to meet up with Snape and Mary, and he couldn't have been more panicked than before. He'd been one of the first people to walk over to Mary and meet her new cruppy, Brandy, and it was obvious that the creature loved everyone (especially Sirius). But he had also seen what Brandy had done to Snape's hand, and how the latter had literally waved off the bite as though it was nothing. There were very few things that could spook animals and make them act in such a volatile way; spirits and the undead. And as Snape clearly wasn't a ghost, he had to be undead.
"Lily," Remus asked, "would you mind terribly if we stopped by to see Marlene?"
"Why?"
Quickly thinking of a reason, Remus said, "I just thought that, given how her relationship is with Mary, it might be good to see how she is."
"... come to think of it, she never wrote me a Christmas card."
"I know where they are." Remus led Lily to the cabin where Marlene and the boys were. As he opened the door, he found James and Peter playing exploding snap, while Sirius and Marlene were… cuddling….
"Alright, Padfoot?" Remus asked.
"As good as can be," Sirius said, grinning. "You?"
"Doing well," Remus said.
"Hey, Marley," Lily said. "Haven't heard from you since last term."
"Oh," Marlene said. "Right, well, the holidays sort of had me busy the whole time. Big family."
"We'll have plenty of time to catch up," Lily said.
"Any thoughts on my offer?" James asked.
"I… James, I have to think about this," Lily said. Remus could see her cheeks redden. "I just came to talk to Marley."
"Feel free," James replied.
"In private."
"Something to hide?" James turned away from Peter, who sat waiting. "Come now, no need for secrets. Right, Marley?"
"Right," Marlene replied. Remus didn't like the way her voice sounded. "You can say it here."
Lily looked uncomfortable, but she asked, "How are things between you and Mary?"
Remus could tell that Marlene was regretting her choice; her eyes had turned slightly dull. "Well," she said, "she…."
"Maybe you ought to talk about this in private," Sirius said, letting Marlene go. Marlene walked with Lily out of the cabin, and Remus heard the door to the adjacent cabin open and close.
"Wonder what they're talking about," Peter said aloud.
"MacDonald, obviously." James sounded annoyed. He pulled out what looked like two ears connected by a string, holding one up to the wall and another out for Remus and the others to hear.
"Wh- James!" Remus hissed. "You can't do this!"
"I want to try, alright?!" Marlene's voice was quiet, but loud enough for Remus to hear if he leaned a bit closer.
All four boys sat close to the ear and listened to the conversation, but before it went on, Remus quickly said, "By the way, when Brandy bit Snape-"
"We know," Sirius replied. "Undead or ghost."
"What are you going to do?" Lily asked.
"I was thinking of… I can't play Gobstones with her if Snape's there."
"That's the whole problem, Marley! You're supposed to be getting along with Severus."
"You know I don't trust him!"
"Are we back on this?!"
"You can't be this clueless! Mysterious illness, paling skin, rarely leaves his room-"
"He's been going out more!"
"- aversion to garlic."
"Oh bugger," Sirius said aloud.
"She wouldn't…." Peter's voice trailed off.
"I know your theory, and I know the rumors around the school."
"And what about him being responsible for Creevey and Cresswell?"
There was an uncomfortable silence, and Remus looked at the other three. Peter and Sirius were looking between them, but James was focused on listening to what was being said.
"See?" Marlene said. "You can't even deny it!"
"No! I'm just…. I thought we went over his schedule!"
"And I thought about it, too. Just because he's busy, it doesn't mean he can't attack someone for a few minutes and head back."
"When I invited him to my house for Christmas, Dad took him into his office and spoke with him. And he… I know he isn't responsible, alright?"
"You can't just believe-"
"Look, I know he's unpleasant at times-"
"You're making excuses again!"
"I'm telling you that I trust him!"
There was the sound of a door slamming open, and James quickly pocketed the listening device as the door to their own cabin opened. Lily walked in and said, "Remus, we're leaving."
"Oh… alright." Remus stood and said to the boys, "I'll see you later."
As Remus and Lily passed the cabin where the two girls had been talking, Marlene walked out and went back where Sirius was. Remus caught a glimpse of her as she went in, and he could tell that the conversation had affected her more than it had affected Lily. He'd never seen her looking this drained of enthusiasm.
"Lily," Remus said, "are you and Marlene alright?"
"She's being stubborn," Lily said dismissively. "If she can't change, then she has to deal with the consequences."
"I understand that, but I'm not sure she's doing alright."
Lily didn't answer, and Remus decided to drop the conversation. While he understood why Lily would be upset with Marlene over Snape, he wasn't comfortable with how she was going about it, and he thought it might make things worse. He wanted to speak with Marlene as soon as they had the chance, preferably alone; he didn't like what he was seeing.
Eventually, they arrived outside another cabin, and Lily said, "Could you wait out here?"
Remus nodded. "Of course."
Lily opened the door and walked in, and as it shut behind her, Remus caught a glimpse of Mary, Brandy, and Snape. He couldn't hear anything going on inside, so he assumed Lily was using that Muffling Charm. He was impressed by Lily's ability to seemingly invent these sorts of charms.
After some time had passed, the door opened, and Lily stepped out. "Alright, we can go back now."
"How was the talk?"
"It's fine." Something was bothering Lily, but Remus didn't ask. Clearly, she wasn't in the mood to talk about her relationships with anyone.
They returned to the Prefects' cabin and to their seats, giving Remus some time to think to himself. Whatever was happening between Marlene, Lily, and Mary was starting to bother him more than it should. Lily and Mary clearly didn't want to talk about it, so that only left Marlene. And while he knew that she was probably in the wrong, it didn't hurt to check on her.
Mary I
Mary and Severus had bought some snacks from the trolley… well, Mary had. Severus didn't like sweets, for some reason. She was almost tempted to ask why, but it seemed like a silly question. Everyone had different tastes, some tastes which were completely foreign to her; her dad loved black licorice, while she absolutely detested it. Although, that was a thought….
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Do you like licorice?"
"No…. Why?"
"I was thinking about what sort of candies you would like." Mary shifted her arms as Brandy let out a small bark in her sleep. "I thought, since licorice isn't too sweet…."
"The flavor is too strong for me."
"What about something with pear? That's mild."
"I like pears, but if there's any added sugar, I don't think I could manage it."
"What about that dessert you made for the Christmas party? That was delicious."
"I baked the pears; Slughorn added the ice cream and syrup." Severus almost let out a sigh. "It's a shame; pears are fairly good palette cleansers."
"There might be some pear candies that aren't too sweet," Mary suggested. "I'll look for some when-"
Suddenly the door opened, and Lily appeared with Remus. "Could you wait out here?" Lily asked.
"Of course," Remus replied, stepping back as Lily shut the door.
Brandy stirred in Mary's arms as Lily sat next to Severus and waved her wand around, for some reason. "Sorry I'm late," Lily said apologetically to Severus. "Remus wanted to visit James and the others, and I got into a bit of a tiff with Marlene."
Mary's breath caught. She was hoping she wouldn't hear that name on the train ride.
"What about?" Severus asked.
"You," Lily explained. "She still thinks you're responsible."
"That's ridiculous," Mary said. "If he's the culprit, then I'm a pureblood."
"What McKinnon thinks of me doesn't mean too much," Severus said. "As long as we can make it through this year."
Lily smiled an odd warmth. "As long as we keep our eyes down, we should be fine."
"What are you talking about?" Mary asked.
"Does Mary not know?" Lily asked.
Severus turned to Mary and said, "The creature attacking students is a basilisk."
"What?!"
"Shh!" Severus almost reached over to shut Mary's mouth, but he halted as soon as he looked down at Brandy. He pulled his hand away and said, "We don't want to cause a panic."
Mary had been reading up on different magical creatures ever since Brandy had come into her life, and she wanted to see if there was anything she ought to look out for. And of course, the worst possible Dark Creature was roaming the school. Although…. "How do you know it's a basilisk?"
"Petrification," Severus said. "Creevey and Cresswell had reflective objects in their possession at the time of their attacks. Indirect eye contact resulted in them being petrified instead of outright killed."
"That explains the Cock Massacre," Mary said. "But what about spiders fleeing before it?"
"Have neither of you spotted spiders behaving oddly?" Severus asked.
Lily shook her head. "No, nothing."
"Not me, either."
"Also," Severus said, "the Cock Massacre?"
"Boyfriend Black came up with it," Mary muttered. "Just about everyone calls it that."
"Heard it from McKinnon, did you?"
"No, just in passing. I heard she's the one who started the vampire rumor too. At least, that's what people were saying before we boarded the train."
"I…." Lily didn't seem right, as though she was nervous about something. She said to Severus, "Can I ask you a question?"
"... that depends on the question." Severus's brow had furrowed, and he looked uncertain.
"If your answer is 'yes', I won't think any differently about you," Lily continued, as though to comfort him.
"What- I don't understand where this is going."
"... do you remember how I joked to Petunia about you being…?" Lily's voice trailed off.
Mary didn't know what that meant, but she saw something change in Severus's eyes. Whatever it was, she could see that he was hurt by the question.
"Oh."
"When Marlene and I were talking earlier-"
"You believe her, then." Severus wasn't asking a question.
"When you look at everything, it almost makes sense. And those bite marks on your neck-"
"It was a snake," Severus said quickly.
"It looks like something bigger." Lily's tone had turned accusatory.
"It was a big snake." Severus waved his wand and brought out a red-and-green scarf to wrap around his neck. "What are you even doing, looking at my scars like that?"
"It's just… after the Christmas dinner, and when you were passed out, I saw them-"
"How much did you see?" Mary had never seen Severus look so on-edge as now.
"I saw a line right about here." Lily made a gesture to her collar bone. "And-"
"I'll thank you to never violate my privacy in such a way again." Severus's voice had turned hard.
"It wasn't like I was trying to look," Lily said defensively. "You were the one who passed out. I don't even know how you even changed out of-"
"So, you're entitled to know everything about my personal life?" Severus asked.
"I don't understand why you're being like this! I thought we said we were going to look out for each other!"
"And I thought I could trust you when I'm unconscious. Clearly, I can't."
"What did you think I was going to do to you? Take advantage-?"
"Thank you for coming to see us. I think it's time you left."
Silence filled the cabin, and Mary shifted uncomfortably in her seat as Severus stared Lily down. Lily was the first to look away, and she stood before pulling something out of her pocket.
"Happy birthday," Lily said quietly, her breath unsteady on the last syllable as she dropped a small package on the seat and turned, opening the door and leaving with Remus.
Mary looked down at the package before looking back to Severus. The older boy was now looking out the window, his body taut and his breathing slow and deep. His eyes were completely vacant, as though there was nothing he could bring himself to say. Looking at him reminded Mary of herself, during the times when Mulciber would corner her, play with her hair, run a finger along her neck….
Mary's breath caught as she felt Brandy let out an unconscious yip. Tobias Snape had been arrested for attacking a child at the playground; while the wizarding papers hadn't gone into too much detail, the Muggle paper spared nothing. And she had caught a glimpse of what had happened to the other children Tobias had targeted….
Mary's heart broke as she realized why Severus was so distressed. Before she could say anything, Severus said quietly, "Whatever you're about to say, I don't want to talk right now."
"... okay." Mary distracted herself by stroking Brandy's head, causing the crup to nuzzle into the crook of her arm. She looked down at the small package and asked, "What did she get you?" She hoped she could take Severus's mind off of whatever he was thinking about or remembering.
Severus glanced at the package before picking it up and unwrapping it. There was a small black box within, which Severus opened. As his eyes rested on what was inside, Mary saw a bit of light return, but it was soon followed by a forlorn look. He carefully reached in and pulled out a pocket watch with the letter S engraved on the front.
"I made a mess of things," Severus said lifelessly. His eyes darted to the door, and he stood up and said, "I need to apologize."
"Wait," Mary said quickly. "Maybe she needs time to herself?" If Lily was upset, then what she needed was time to process what the two of them had argued about. She had to realize that she was in the wrong.
"It wouldn't matter either way," Severus said, sticking the pocket watch in his pocket. "It's just as bad."
As Severus reached for the door, Mary caught his hand. "Don't enable her."
"What?"
"You know what she did was wrong! If you go now and apologize now-"
"I know she was wrong," Severus cut in, "but I shouldn't have sent her away."
"... oh." Brandy had stirred in Mary's arms and had started growling at Severus's hand, which was still in Mary's. Mary let go and said, "Just don't… just be careful."
Severus nodded, took a deep breath, and left.
As Mary sat in the cabin by herself, she thought about her place in all of this drama between Severus and Lily. She couldn't think about Marlene and Boyfriend Black and his friends, and even thinking about Remus was starting to be difficult. She couldn't believe how different everything was compared to her first year; everything back then was simple. Alice had been their eldest sister and leader, Bertha Jorkins the school gossip, Lily and Marlene the dynamic duo, and Mary the baby of the group. It had taken her a full year to start calling her own housemates by their first name due to her uncertainty about being a witch, and she had only become comfortable because she thought she had grown to know everyone well enough. But that clearly wasn't the case.
It wasn't until this year that Mary had truly seen a worse side of everyone in her House, whether intentional or not; this wasn't counting what she knew Remus's friends did. Remus himself had enabled their bullying ways, and he never seemed to take full responsibility for it. Marley was outright vicious and mean-spirited when it came to Severus, which was almost like Potter and Boyfriend Black. Peter was… well, he was Peter; she couldn't really think of anything else to say about him. But Lily? Lily could be awful to Severus, but Mary never thought the older girl would blame Severus for rightfully being upset about his privacy being violated by someone he trusted.
"It's all a mess, isn't it?" Mary muttered to Brandy.
Brandy sat up and licked Mary's nose, causing the girl to smile.
Severus II
Severus was furious with himself for losing his composure over his scars as he stormed through the corridors to the Prefects' cabin. The Christmas holiday was supposed to help mend the damage between himself and Lily, and now he may have pushed her away. He couldn't let this go, not after the two of them had promised to look out for each other. He couldn't trust her with his privacy, but that didn't mean anything compared to the threat of a basilisk.
Severus stopped outside the Prefects' cabin door and knocked. After a moment, the door opened, and he found himself standing face to face with Rosier.
"Snape," Rosier said, looking him up and down. "May I help you?"
"Is Lily here?"
Rosier looked back, and Severus's eyes followed. Lily was there, and she was looking back at him with hurt in her eyes. Rosier said to Lily, "Evans. Snape wishes to speak with you. You may go with him to the next cabin over; it's empty."
Lily stood reluctantly and went to the door. Rosier stepped to the side, allowing her to pass through. He shut the door behind her.
"I was wrong to-"
"Next cabin," Lily said, her voice sounding tired.
Severus nodded and led her to the next cabin over, and the two of them entered. As Severus shut the door behind them, he said, "I was wrong to push you away."
"... I'm…." Lily didn't seem like she could finish the sentence. "I really don't want to talk about this."
"I know," Severus said. "I don't blame you."
"You really think I wouldn't respect your privacy?"
Severus took a moment to think. If MacDonald was here, she would probably say that Lily was trying to get out of what she'd done. But right now, he couldn't afford to ruin anything. He said, "I don't want to fight."
Lily made eye contact with him, and Severus could see confusion mixed with relief. She said, "I don't know what happened to you."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't… you really don't want to argue with me?" For some reason, Severus could hear something sad in her voice.
"Should I?"
Lily shook her head. "No, it's… I don't know how to take any of this in. You're a completely different person these days." She gave him a smile.
"... I admit that I'm still upset about what happened," Severus said. He didn't like what she was implying, or the fact that she was trying to avoid the conversation. "But you're more important than that."
Lily was quiet, and Severus could see her cheeks turn a light pink. "Oh."
"In the future," Severus said, "I would ask you not to… undress me."
"I didn't undress you," Lily said. "You were already dressed."
"Then, maybe you could restrain your curiosity." Severus kept himself calm. Sometimes, Lily's inability to apologize was infuriating.
Once again, Lily was quiet, but the pink color in her cheeks had deepened. She wasn't going to answer.
Severus put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the watch. "Thank you for the present. I didn't think you remembered-"
"Of course, I remember your birthday!" Lily exclaimed defensively.
"... I was going to say thank you for remembering what I told you about a wizard's coming of age present." Severus put it back in his pocket. "I wasn't accusing you."
"... oh." Lily took a shaky breath and said, "Maybe I should go back."
"You really can't sit with MacDonald and I?" Severus asked. "I think Brandy might try to turn me into a chew-toy without you there."
That managed to get a chuckle out of Lily. She looked up at Severus and said, "How about the Easter holiday, if everything's settled down by then?"
Severus nodded. He opened the door, and the two of them left the cabin. As Lily went back to sit with the Prefects, Severus turned and made his way back to MacDonald. He might have just salvaged a bad train ride, but he was starting to worry he had come on too strong with his request. Lily had always been one to react poorly to… Severus stopped. For some reason, Lily had acted better than he could have hoped for. It might have been because it was his birthday, but that usually didn't mean anything. He was just happy to get his pocket-
Severus felt something wrong farther up ahead. He quickened his pace, his breathing picking up as he felt the danger growing closer and closer. At last, he arrived outside of the cabin he shared with MacDonald, and Mulciber was standing just outside, about to open the door.
Before Mulciber could even touch the door, Severus found his own hand on the older boy's wrist, gripping it with a painful force that caused him to grunt. "Marcus," Severus said. "Can I help you?"
"So, you're here then?" Mulciber wasn't pretending to be friendly anymore. Good fucking riddance. "Seems you must've developed a taste for tender meat, eh?"
"... I'll say this once." Severus didn't break eye contact with Mulciber. "You ought to mind where your hand wanders. You might just lose it." He enunciated each of his last words.
"And you ought to mind where your loyalties lies," Mulciber said back smoothly, but he was clearly shaken. "You might find yourself outmatched."
The two silently glared at each other, but Mulciber was the first to break eye contact. Severus let go of his wrist and said, "If you'll excuse me."
Mulciber backed away and walked down the corridor, back where he came from.
Severus opened the door to find a growling Brandy trying to struggle out of MacDonald's lap. "Brandy!" MacDonald exclaimed. "It's just Sev!"
Brandy seemed to react even more violently upon hearing Severus's name.
Severus shut the door and sat opposite of MacDonald, saying, "I spoke with Lily. I think we're back on good terms."
"You didn't back down, did you?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Severus replied. "I'm not a coward."
MacDonald smiled warmly and said, "Good. I'd ask if you wanted to play Gobstones, but I think Brandy might attack you if I let go."
"In all but one way," Severus said jokingly, "I'm no coward."
Remus II
Dinner back at Hogwarts went rather smoothly. Remus spent the time chatting away with the boys, as well as Lily and Mary. But both Lily and Mary seemed to be ignoring Marlene, and the latter was notably quiet, save for the occasional flirting she did with Sirius. Remus was still mulling over how he would approach Marlene and get her alone; he would have to do so nonchalantly, while Sirius was distracted by something.
"So, have you given it some more thought?" James asked Lily. "Just one outing."
"On Valentine's Day?" Lily asked. Remus could swear she sounded somewhat amused.
"Coincidence, really," James said nonchalantly, messing his hair up a bit.
"You think a double-date on Valentine's Day is coincidental?" Lily asked.
"Triple-date, if Remus brings Peter," Sirius joked.
That earned a laugh from everyone at the table, excluding Mary and Marlene.
"I'm afraid I'll be on-duty," Remus said. "As would Lily."
"I could take over for her," Marlene offered.
"You'd be on a double-date," James reminded her. Turning back to Lily, he said, "Our date could just be me following you around like a lost puppy."
Lily rolled her eyes and said, "I know you won't stop until I agree to it."
"Now, you're catching on," James said, grinning. "How about it? The Prince and Princess of-"
"Say the words 'prince' and 'princess' again, and I'm out," Lily said.
"... so you're agreeing to it?" James asked.
"... fine," Lily said, letting out a tired sigh. "But it's just one 'date'."
"One date," James repeated. "No mischief."
"I'll be right back," Marlene said, getting up to leave.
"Going somewhere?" James asked.
"Loo," Marlene said, hurrying out of the Great Hall.
"How many times has that been since dinner started?" Peter asked, following the girl with his eyes.
"Third," Sirius said. "Come on, even you'd be able to keep count."
"Is she alright?" Remus asked.
"She's had a bit of an upset stomach," Sirius said. "It might have started over the holiday."
"Should someone check on her?" Remus asked.
"She could go visit Madam Pomfrey," Mary answered briefly.
Remus thought back to how Marlene had been on the train. Clearly, she was upset about something related to Lily and Mary, most likely related to Snape. "I'll see if she needs anything," Remus said.
"She'll be fine," James said dismissively. "Probably just needs to get it out of her system."
"Nonetheless." Remus got up and made his way out of the Great Hall, finding an alcove and pulling out the Map. As he opened it, he found her in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom… but no one used that bathroom anymore.
Remus headed upstairs to the second floor and made his way to the girls' bathroom. Standing just outside, he heard two voices; one of them was clearly Marlene, while the other was the ghost. He took a few steps in, careful to keep his footsteps quiet, as he listened in on what they were saying.
"... frustrating," Marlene seemed to say. "He's too much for me to deal with, but I don't know what to do!" Her voice sounded weak.
"You ought to forget about him," Myrtle replied. "Nothing good came from involving yourself with boys."
"It's not that simple!" Marlene explained. "I think about what sort of person he is every time I look at Lily and Mary. I thought…." Her voice broke off, and Remus could only hear a small breath that made him feel cold.
"Shh," Myrtle cooed sadly. "Don't think about it."
"I-" Marlene regained her voice. "I don't know who to go to."
"What about that Lupin boy?" Myrtle suggested.
"No," Marlene said. "He'd…." Her voice grew too low for Remus to hear properly.
Remus stepped back, out of the bathroom, and stood just outside around the corner. He didn't realize her animosity for Snape ran this deep, deep enough that she felt the need to use Myrtle as a confidant. Had it grown so bad that she couldn't talk to him. He was broken out of his train of thought when Marlene came around the corner and let out a yelp. She dropped a small pot of what looked like Wear-and-Tear, and it clattered to the stone floor.
"O-oh," Marlene said, her breath uneasy. "I didn't see you there."
"... Marlene, are you alright?" Remus didn't want to push the subject further than he needed to.
"I'm fine," Marlene said. "I just had to use the loo."
Remus looked down at the Wear-and-Tear before looking back to meet Marlene's eyes. "Do you remember when you told me not to shut people out?"
Marlene's eyes widened a bit, and she nodded slightly.
"I'm asking you to do the same," Remus said gently. "I'm surprised you don't talk to Sirius about whatever's upsetting you."
Marlene scoffed, "If I tell Sirius, Sirius tells James. It feels like I'm dating both of them."
"Is it that bad?" Remus asked with a smirk.
"No," Marlene said quickly, looking away. "I just-" She stopped.
"What is it?"
"... nevermind." Marlene looked past Remus before picking up the Wear-and-Tear. "We should head back, yeah?"
"Yeah," Remus replied. As they walked together, he said, "If you're not feeling well, you could always pull me aside."
Marlene nodded and said slowly, "And maybe Sirius-"
"No," Remus said. "If you want a private talk, you're getting a private talk. No one else."
"Why not?"
"I'm not blind, you know. You weren't comfortable back on the train. Something was wrong."
"Oh." Marlene's pace slowed. "You noticed, then."
"Noticed what?"
"I… Remus, have you noticed how James behaves?"
"You have to be more specific," Remus said jokingly.
"Sometimes, it doesn't seem like…. I don't know how to word it. He's a bit too social."
"... I don't know what that means," Remus said. He hadn't heard someone describe someone like that in a bad way before.
"Back on the train," Marlene said, "he wanted to hear what Lily and I were talking about. If Sirius hadn't let me go-"
"Let you?" Remus didn't like how this sounded one bit.
"Not like that," Marlene said quickly. "If he hadn't suggested Lily and I talk in private, I think James would've tried to listen in on the conversation."
Remus felt his cheeks warm. She wasn't wrong. "I think this conversation might have to be with Sirius."
"He's always with James," Marlene said.
"Not if I can help it."
Marlene was silent for a moment. "You'd do that?"
"Of course," Remus said. "You shouldn't feel intimidated like that."
"Not much of a Gryffindor girl, am I?" Marlene said with a scoff.
"Marlene McKinnon, you are the most Gryffindor of all girls I've known," Remus replied. "For better and worse."
"I think you meant to say 'better or worse'."
"Did I?" Remus grinned as Marlene started hitting his shoulder. "I give up!"
Marlene stopped hitting him, simply gently nudging his arm. "I needed this."
Remus didn't know what to say, and so he chose to say nothing. The two of them walked down to the Great Hall together wordlessly, but it wasn't awkward. He felt at peace for some reason, even after learning about how Marlene was doing. Seeing the Wear-and-Tear earlier on was a bit disheartening; he'd heard that it was used to treat puffy eyes, and if she'd had that with her….
"So did I," Remus said, turning his head and forcing a smile. "It's good to have some peace and quiet."
"... yeah."
Lily I
Sunday, 30 January 1977
Three weeks had passed since Lily had given Severus his pocket watch, and it had been three awkward weeks of her trying to talk to him. What he'd said about invading his privacy was something that had started to eat away at her a bit. All she'd done was unbutton his shirt a little to see if…. Lily stopped. He was right; no matter how she tried to justify it, it didn't excuse anything. But his behavior was starting to bother her, even though she would have welcomed the change. He was too calm, far calmer than he normally was. She didn't know if he was holding all of his anger in just under the surface, waiting for it to explode, or if something had happened. At this point, it could be either, but all she knew was that Severus wasn't himself. He was a completely different person now, and she wondered if he was the same Severus as he'd been before. And she didn't know if she liked the change.
Lily found herself thinking about Mary now. In the time that Lily had tried and failed to talk to Severus since coming back to Hogwarts, he and Mary had grown closer. Brandy still didn't like him, and the cruppy had a habit of either biting or relieving herself on his shoe; Mary swore that the crup had looked directly up at Severus on more than one occasion during the latter. But the two of them studied Potions together, they played Gobstones during lunch…. Was she jealous of Mary? The idea of being jealous of Mary for spending time with Severus was a bit of a shock to Lily. How could she be jealous of a girl three years her junior? Both Mary and Severus had explicitly said that nothing was going on between them, and it was plain to anyone with working eyes that all they did was study Potions and play Gobstones together, at least when Severus wasn't tutoring other students.
Lily wanted to talk about this with Tom, but she was still upset with him ever since the holiday had begun. If she opened him up, he'd just tell her that Severus wasn't really changing and that he couldn't be trusted. Given the way he was behaving, Lily wasn't sure whether to believe Tom or be concerned for Severus; with the rumors going around about his condition…. Lily didn't think she would treat him any differently if he really was a vampire, no more than she would treat Remus if Severus's theory about him being a werewolf was true.
If Marlene was awake, she would say that Severus hadn't changed at all, and that he truly was secretly a dangerous vampire; her ability to spread such a rumor almost rivalled that of Bertha Jorkins, if one could believe it. But it really didn't make sense for Marlene to say something so far-fetched unless it was true; sure, she might have mocked Severus in the past, but only about observable things, and she never went beyond that. Ever since their argument on the train and the following dinner, the two of them had been on and off with how often they talked. During the off-times, Marlene barely spoke to anyone, and Lily couldn't recall seeing her anywhere that wasn't in Sirius's arms. Just like Severus, she was acting differently, but at least she was behaving and not going after him.
It was 12:01 AM when Lily noticed the mysterious present beside her desk slowly unwrapping itself. The accompanying letter, which had been set atop her desk, had remained blank, save for Lily's birthday written in large letters and instructions to wait to read it until her birthday. However, at the strike of midnight, Lily had checked it again to find a new message. It read:
Lily,
I wasn't sure if I should buy you any vinyls from the Beatles; I thought that, since they're your favorite band, that you might already have plenty of those. Instead, I found a few Swedish tracks from a band called ABBA; I don't know anything about them, but the shopkeeper recommended them as a birthday gift.
It's not every day that a girl becomes a woman, so I wanted to put my allowance to good use. If you don't like the music, I could try to return it and buy you something you prefer. Regardless, I hope you enjoy the present, and I wish you a happy birthday.
Severus
P.S.: Start with Side 1 on the album titled "Arrival" and listen to the song titled "Dancing Queen". I was planning on buying the single, but the shopkeeper convinced me to get more than that.
Lily eyed the present, which had finished unwrapping itself, and she found herself staring wide-eyed at a record-player, along with a few vinyls in their packaging. She found the one titled "Arrival" and did as instructed, finding Side 1 and setting it in place.
"Is that ABBA?" Lily almost jumped out of her chair at the sound of Marlene's voice. The girl was peeking out from behind the curtains of her bed, which had remained perpetually shut since they'd come back from holiday.
"Severus bought it for me," Lily explained in a hushed voice. She didn't want to wake anyone up. "Couldn't you sleep?"
"I wanted to see what it was for myself. So, it's ABBA?"
"Yeah. Do you know them?"
"They're Swedish," Marlene replied, stepping out and putting on her nightgown. "I think Remus listens to them."
"Apparently, I have to listen to the second track," Lily said. "Severus says it's called 'Dancing Queen'."
"Oh, I heard about that one," Marlene said, sounding slightly more enthusiastic. "I think it's near the top of the charts."
"But you've never listened to it?"
Marlene shook her head, looking back at the record-player. "How'd Snape afford this?"
"Allowance money," Lily said. "Or he was saving up his tutoring money."
"Oh." Marlene was uncharacteristically… reserved. Lily was expecting her to say something rude about Severus in some way.
"Do you want to listen with me?" Lily asked.
"...alright." Marlene walked over and pulled a chair up, sitting down as Lily set the needle down, lowering the volume as much as she could to avoid waking anyone else up.
Lily had never really used a record-player before; the one at home belonged to Dad, and he only ever played older music. Fortunately, she knew how to start it from the beginning, but the song that played didn't seem like it was the one Severus had suggested. "I don't think he meant for me to listen to this one," Lily said.
"Yeah," Marlene said. "It's… a little weird that they're singing about kissing their teachers."
They waited until the song ended, and they soon found themselves listening to what sounded like disco. As soon as the vocals started, Lily found herself mesmerized. She didn't know the singers' names, but whoever they were, their voices were smooth, and the beat made Lily tap her foot in rhythm.
The singers reached the point where they sang "You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen", and Lily knew this was the only reason Severus had chosen it. She couldn't help but let out a laugh at the thought; if Severus had paid attention to the rest of the lyrics, or listened to the first track, she imagined his face would go cherry-red. Unless he had listened to it, and had still chosen to buy it for her.
Lily felt her cheeks heat up a bit at the thought. Maybe he did fancy her? But if that was the case, and she'd agreed to go on a "date" with James, then she didn't know what to do. If she backed out of the date, he might accuse her of leading him on, and he and Sirius might think she was choosing Severus over them. But if she agreed to it, she knew Mary would disapprove, and Severus…. No, Severus-
"I'm going back to bed," Marlene said, interrupting Lily's train of thought.
"Night." Lily realized the song had ended and took the needle off. As Marlene shut the curtains, Lily thought about what she was going to do. There was no way around it; she had to talk to Tom.
Lily opened her desk drawer to find the diary, right next to her vial of liquid luck. Oddly enough, when she'd checked it the night she'd come back, she found that the diary was already in her hand; she must've been too tired to register what had happened. She opened the diary, took out a quill, and began writing.
It's been a while.