Author's Notes
The following contains a lot of crying.
Chapter 16: Mischief Mismanaged
Regulus I
Monday, 18 April 1977
Regulus couldn't focus. History of Magic had been a blur, discounting Professor Binn's unmatched passion and enthusiasm, and he found that he'd only written down half of what was said. Potions was no better; Slughorn had caught him not paying attention, and he'd been deducted two points and assigned an essay to make up for his performance. And Defense Against the Dark Arts… well, he wasn't going to write home about how he'd botched up a counter-curse.
Time outside of class was no better. Regulus could no longer enjoy or even appreciate meals; the flavors didn't matter to him, except for saltiness, which made him lose his appetite altogether. Reading in the Library proved fruitless, as he found himself reading the same line over and over. Even the act of staying in his dorm room was unsettling, especially since he was the only remaining fifth-year boy in Slytherin. He found himself doing everything in his power to find distraction, any excuse to not go to bed, which made him exhausted and more unfocused.
Regulus knew he ought to be focusing on his studies and the role entrusted to him by the Dark Lord; it was surely an honor to be seen in such a way. Smuggling the book back into Hogwarts had been easy, a simple repetition of his second attempt, but now he had to wait for… something. In the time spent with the Dark Lord after dinner, and after their… the Dark Lord had told Regulus that he was to be his eyes and ears. He was to bring new blood into the fold, when the time came. He was told he was the only one worthy of such a task… that he was special to the Dark Lord.
Regulus felt a nauseating discomfort creep over him, in the same way he had felt the Dark Lord's hands. He, and Bellatrix, had been used. They had been degraded and humiliated before each other, forced to watch each other as…. Bellatrix had wept silently after the fact, but not out of shame. She knew what she was worth to the Dark Lord… but she wanted more.
Regulus realized his hands were shaking as he sat at his desk, and he used one to still the other. He had never felt smaller than he did that night. He had never felt… lesser than another. Part of him wished it hadn't happened… but perhaps, it was a test, a show of total commitment to the cause? Perhaps, his reservations and shame were signs that, deep down, he wasn't as committed as he had once thought. But the Dark Lord still relied on him. And if the Dark Lord needed him here, to help lead the wizarding world into a new age without Muggle influence and degradation, then he knew he had to commit fully.
While in thought, Regulus heard a knock on the door. He stood up and opened it, to reveal a younger boy standing outside. "How may I help you?" he asked.
"H-I was told to bring you this," the boy said, holding out a paper. "By Dumbledore."
Regulus furrowed his brow and took it. "Thank you," he said, hiding his uncertainty, before shutting the door and sitting down, opening it. His eyes widened at the title and what was written below it:
LOST BOYS FOUND, IMPERIUSED BY FELLOW CLASSMATES
On the 14th of February of this year, Severus Snape was believed to be responsible for the disappearance of his Slytherin housemates (Alexander Avery II, Barry Barton, Alecto and Amycus Carrow, George Greengrass, Marcus Mulciber II, Norman Nott, Paul Philips, Evan Rosier, Sebastian Selwyn, Wendy Wilkes, and Charles Yaxley). This fight resulted in several major injuries, resulting in a scene one could only describe as 'bloody murder'. However, two nights ago, Aurors successfully found and took into custody all twelve of the missing students, with many of them having to go to St. Mungo's to have their preserved appendages reattached.
Of the twelve, Barry Barton, George Greengrass, Norman Nott, Paul Philips, Sebastian Selwyn, and Charles Yaxley all claim to have been under the Imperius Curse, which was cast upon them over the winter holiday by none other than Marcus Mulciber II, their upperclassman. Accomplices of Mulciber include Alexander Avery II, Alecto and Amycus Carrow, Evan Rosier, and Wendy Wilkes. As all six are of age, all six will be tried by the Wizengamot. Charges are yet to be listed.
Regulus had never been more confused in his entire life. He recalled the Dark Lord speaking to Mulciber Sr., listing the exact names of those who were to be tried. But why would he want them to be imprisoned? Was it punishment? Even more concerning: why had Dumbledore sent him this paper.
Regulus left the dorm room, paper in hand, and made his way to Dumbledore's office. He spoke the password, "Licorice Snaps", and entered to find Dumbledore attending to his pet phoenix…. Regulus had never really noticed the bird before.
"May I help you, Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, his cobalt eyes catching light from the fireplace.
"Sir," Regulus asked carefully, "why did you send me this paper?"
"Oh, I was hoping you would be relieved to hear that your housemates were well. Of course, it is unfortunate that some were found to be performing an Unforgivable Curse."
"... I see." Regulus felt himself deflate in relief.
"Is something troubling you, Regulus?"
Regulus felt his heart stop. "No, sir," he lied quickly.
"Are you certain there isn't anything you wish to tell me?" Dumbledore's expression was one of concern, but his eyes were both distant and focused.
Regulus shook his head. "I'm certain."
Dumbledore gave him a nod. "Very well. Do know that, should you ever be in need, my door is always open."
"Thank you, sir."
"Have a good evening."
Regulus nodded and left the office, hurrying down the stairs as the nerves began catching up with him. Dumbledore knew. He had to know; he'd seen right through him, somehow. He was trying to appeal to his vulnerability, to turn him to the other side. But he wasn't that weak; he couldn't afford to be. He wasn't born to partake of that luxury. He was born to be the House of Black.
Lily I
Tuesday, 19 April 1977
"Lily? Lily!"
"Hmm?" Lily looked up from her desk, setting her quill back into the inkwell.
"I'm heading down for dinner," Marlene continued. "You should come with me."
"... I'm not really hungry."
"Do you want me to bring something up?"
Lily shook her head. "I'd rather just focus on my essay."
Marlene stood there for a moment before pulling up a chair and sitting beside her. "You really should have something. Even if it's just bread."
Lily couldn't bring herself to respond. She felt too drained.
"At least do it for Mary."
Lily shared a look with Marlene and saw how tired the latter looked. "You're right." She stood up and went to brush her hair, before the two of them left their dorm and walked down into the common room.
James and Sirius were playing chess, while Remus and Peter were working on Peter's essay; Brandy had decided to take a nap on the couch. James looked up, a soft expression on his face, as he asked, "Alright, Lily?"
Lily nodded. "Where's Mary?"
"She's coming down," Remus answered.
Lily sat beside Brandy, and the cruppy sat up and made her way into her lap, turning in place before settling again. Lily smiled a bit as she scratched Brandy behind the ear. "Are you all better?" she asked quietly.
Brandy let out a small yip and nibbled on Lily's fingers.
Lily let out a small laugh. It was a good thing she wasn't Severus, or Brandy would…. Lily's good mood vanished. He was still in Azkaban, despite the fact that the Slytherins he'd fought had been found alive. She was anxious to know how soon it would be before his release; she wanted to be there for him once he was out. It would take her mind off of Dad.
A door opened and closed, and footsteps sounded as Mary made her way down to them. Lily turned and saw that Mary had just finished applying some of her Wear-and-Tear to her eyes. "I'm ready," she said with a hoarse voice.
"I think they have shepherd's pie tonight," Marlene said, walking up to and beside Mary.
James and Sirius paused their game and joined them. "You two coming?" Sirius asked as he put an arm around Marlene's shoulders.
"I'm nervous about this essay," Peter said apologetically.
"Skipping meals?" James asked, a hint of amusement. "Well, you're on the right track."
Lily didn't like the way he'd said that. She stood, Brandy still in her arms, as she straightened out her skirt.
Peter laughed nervously. "Yeah."
"Have a good dinner," Remus said.
"Bye, Moony," Marlene called back.
The five of them made their way to the Great Hall and sat down, along with the rest of the school. There was no sign of the lost Slytherin boys that were supposed to return (assuming their parents let them come back), which made the Slytherin table all the more barren-looking. The only two Slytherins Lily could recognize were Regulus Black and Lucinda Talkalot, but it didn't look like they were very talkative with one another.
Lily snapped out of her thoughts as she felt Brandy struggling to go onto Mary's lap, and she let the cruppy go. Brandy sat down with Mary and licked the girl's nose, eliciting a small smile from her. It was good to see that she wasn't too far gone; by all accounts, she had been beside herself ever since she'd appeared before the Wizengamot to testify in Severus's favor. The article written about that day was the talk of the entire school, and someone had started a rumor suggesting that she and Severus had been in a not-so-secret relationship. Given how close the two of them had become, Lily almost believed it, if not for the hard truth Mary had dropped.
Severus loved Lily.
"Lily?"
"Hmm?" Lily looked up at James.
"Beans?"
Lily saw that he was attempting to put something on her plate, but she stopped the bowl with her hand. "No, I'm just having bread."
"You need to eat," James insisted, spooning some of the beans onto her plate-
"I SAID NO!" Lily suddenly erupted, explosively standing up from her seat. Everyone in her immediate vicinity jumped back, startled by her sudden outburst. The rest of the hall had gone near silent, but Lily didn't care.
"No need to be so upset," James said apologetically. "But it won't due any good starving yourself-"
"James," Lily said, each word feeling as though she was going to burst a vessel, "when I told you what I wanted, was I lying?"
"W-what?" James asked, confused.
"Do you think I'm lying when I tell you I don't want something? Do you think I don't mean what I say?"
"Lily-"
"When I say I don't want bloody beans, I mean I don't want bloody beans! And when I say I don't want bloody beans, that means you don't put them on my bloody plate! When I tell you I don't want your bloody help, that means you don't bloody help me! And when I tell you I don't want to bloody date you, you don't keep bloody asking!" Lily's head was pounding with boiling rage, and she left the hall to return to her dorm room, having eaten nothing whatsoever.
By the time Lily arrived, she found that Remus and Peter were gone. She went up to her room, shut the door, and sat down, still fuming about what had just happened. It was silly to be this angry over beans, but it wasn't about the beans. James was insufferable, and the fact that she'd once fancied him wasn't lost on her. She wondered how Remus could put up with it, and she found herself growing angrier.
Leaving the girls' dormitory, Lily made her way up the stairs of the boy's dormitory and outside the sixth-year dorm room. Without so much as knocking, she swung the door open, finding Remus and Peter looking over some sort of illustration. Their eyes widened, and Peter quickly snatched it up and hid it behind his back, turning and muttering something under his breath. As he was doing this, Lily strode to him and yanked it out of his hand, causing him to shriek in surprise.
"Lily?" Remus asked, although his casual tone didn't do much to mask his discomfort. "Why are you here?"
"What is this?" Lily looked over the parchment, which was now blank. "Where is it?"
"What?"
"There was a picture on here," Lily said, raising her voice. "Where did it go?!" She turned to Peter and asked, "What did you do?!"
"What's going on?" Remus asked in a calming tone.
This only made Lily more angry. "What is this?"
"It's just some spare parchment," Peter answered.
"Oh… so you wouldn't mind if I just…?" Lily took the parchment with both hands and suddenly jerked them, feigning the act of ripping it in two.
"Don't!" Remus and Peter both cried out.
"Show me," Lily said, not letting go of the parchment. "Show me what you're hiding."
Remus gingerly took out his wand and cleared his throat, touching the parchment and saying, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
Lily turned the parchment over and watched as a message appeared.
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
The Marauder's Map
"... map?" Lily asked aloud. Her half-question was answered with an image of what looked like the dorm room they were currently standing in, showing her name beside Remus and Peter. It felt like something snapped inside her head as she realized what this was.
"... Lily," Remus began, but he wasn't allowed to finish.
"Why do you have this?" Lily asked pointedly.
"W-well," Peter said nervously, "we thought it would be best to… well, the attacks were happening-"
"The last attack was Cresswell," Lily reminded him coldly. "Why were you looking at it now?"
"Just in case there was something suspicious about someone," Remus answered. "Maybe Snape wasn't responsible-"
"Do you honestly expect me to believe you trust Severus?!" Lily looked back down at the map, at her name…. "How long have you had this?"
"... about a year?" Peter said cautiously.
"What did you use it for?"
"N-nothing!" Peter said quickly. "Nothing big! Just keeping tabs on…."
If they had access to this map, then it would make it easier for them to cause mischief while also keeping an eye on anyone approaching. And Severus had been adamant that James and Sirius hadn't stopped their behavior. If that was the case….
"... have you been spying on Severus?" Lily knew her question had hit home by the look on both their faces.
"... we promised we would stop," Remus said.
Lily nodded and turned to Peter. "Peter," she asked, "did you stop?"
"Of course, we did!"
"Peter, I'm going to ask you again." Lily sat down right next to him and fixed her eyes on his. "And God help you if you lie to me. Did. You. Stop."
Peter's eyes began welling up, and before Lily knew it, he was sobbing.
"Peter," Remus said calmly, patting his back. He looked at Lily with a foreign outrage and asked, "What is wrong with you?"
"Did they stop?" Lily asked.
"Of course, they did! I made them stop."
"How do you know?"
"I trust them," Remus said defensively.
"Why?"
"Because they're my friends! They wouldn't lie to me about this!"
Lily bit her tongue to stop herself from escalating. She crumpled the map in her hand and said, "I'm confiscating this!"
"Lily-"
"DON'T!" Lily's voice made Peter leap out of his chair and behind Remus. Without another word, she turned and left, heading back up into her dorm room.
Lily slammed the map down on her desk and collapsed into her chair, feeling something bitter come up her throat. She'd made herself sick with anger. She needed someone to talk to.
Tom
Lily?
Are you alright?
I miss Dad
I don't claim to understand how that feels. I have no love for my own father. But, if it's all the same to you, I will always be here for you.
Lily, don't cry.
Sorry
It's alright.
I'm so angry
Why?
James keeps making decisions for me, and now I've just found out that Remus and Peter have a map that can track anyone in the castle
May I have a look?
What do you mean?
Put the map between two of my pages.
Lily unraveled the ball of parchment and slid it into the diary.
How's that?
… this is ingenious. And they can track anyone in the castle?
It looks like it
If only we'd had this when the attacks were happening.
Can it track a basilisk?
No.
I see
Have you heard back from Severus?
No
But surely, with what's been written in the paper, he would be free to be released.
Creevey and Cresswell
It would be hard to prove his innocence without another attack.
I don't know what to do
Lily, grab a tissue.
I've run out
They have circumstantial evidence of his guilt at best. He'll be released.
I'm a bad friend
What makes you say that?
I've been treating him
Lily?
I don't want to talk anymore
I understand.
Lily shut the diary without saying goodbye. Taking the map out from between the pages, she marched out of the room, down the steps, out the portrait hole, and made her way down to Mr. Filch's office. She knocked a few times before the caretaker opened with a snarl.
"What?!" he said in a nasty tone.
Lily held up the map. "I've confiscated this parchment. It's-"
"Who from?"
"Potter and Black-"
"Say no more." Mr. Filch snatched the parchment and looked over the illustrations. "A map of the school, is it…?" He had a wicked gleam in his eye. "They won't be sneaking past me anymore."
"Have a good night, Mr. Filch."
"Good night, Miss Evans," Filch said. "I'll bring this to Headmaster Dumbledore's attention. This is a serious infraction."
Lily nodded and left, returning to the common room. As she entered through the portrait hole, she was met by a visibly flustered James Potter, and a glowering Sirius Black. Standing off to the side were Marlene, Remus, and Peter. James approached Lily and asked, "Did you really take away our-?"
"Yes, I did," Lily said venomously. "It's a serious breach of privacy…!" A thought came into her mind. "Did you use it to spy on me?!"
"What?!" James looked offended. "I would never do that!"
Lily's eyes scanned everyone in the room for a reaction, and she caught Remus and Peter's confidence waning. She marched over to them, ignoring what James was saying, and asked, "Has James ever spied on me?"
"N-no, of course-"
"Remus John Lupin," Lily said, cutting Peter off as she looked Remus directly in the eye, "if you have any respect for me, you'll tell me the truth."
Remus was deathly silent for an unmeasured amount of time, but eventually, he said, "... occasionally."
"What?!" Marlene's voice caught Lily off-guard. "Sirius, you didn't…."
"We were making sure you were alright," Sirius said bluntly.
"Padfoot!" James exclaimed.
"There's been mysterious attacks that haven't been solved. Of course, we'd be keeping an eye out." Sirius had the most unapologetic look on his face Lily had ever seen.
"So you thought spying on me was the right call?!" Lily was all but trembling.
"When you're wandering off with a basilisk on the loose, what else are we supposed to do?"
"No." All heads turned to Marlene.
"Marley?" Sirius sounded confused.
"I have boundaries, Sirius," Marlene said, "and you've crossed them."
"Oh, don't make a meal out of it," Sirius said dismissively.
"You don't get to tell me what to do," Marlene continued, her anger growing. "I could tolerate it when you and James followed me around, even when I wanted to be alone. But spying on my friends is going too far." She walked over to Lily and took her by the arm and led her to the staircase, stopping once and turning back to Sirius as she said, "We're done."
Lily couldn't process what was going on, but she found herself back in the dorm room. She turned to Marlene and said, "You didn't have to…."
Marlene was crying, her breathing uneven. "I'm sorry I was a bitch," she whimpered out.
Lily felt her own chest tighten. "Don't start crying," she said shakily as she pulled Marlene into a hug.
Marlene sniffed and pulled back, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "You're right. I…."
"It's alright."
"No, it isn't," Marlene said with an intense stare. "I've been horrible, and I didn't… I was… I thought I was protecting you and Mary, and…."
"It was just words," Lily said, trying to comfort her.
"No, it wasn't," Marlene insisted. "For the past year, we… I went behind your back."
Lily stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean?"
"We've been lying to you," Marlene said with a sob. "When Snape had his laces tied in Herbology, that wasn't an accident. That really was James."
"... he didn't stop," Lily said blankly, breathing the words out.
"And…." Marlene's face twisted in pain. "... Mary almost… she slipped because of us. It was an accident, but…."
"That was you?!" Lily's lack of feeling swiftly grew into a mild anger. "You could have killed her!"
"We never meant for that to happen! We were going after Snape, and-"
"I trusted you!" Lily said, breaking away. "For some damn reason, I thought you were trying!"
"I know," Marlene said with a plea in her voice. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want to hear it," Lily said, venom returning to her voice. "I trusted you."
"Lily, I-"
"I don't care if you're sorry. If you want an apology, try getting one from Mary. You almost killed her, after all."
Marlene stood there silently, tears still flowing, but Lily didn't care. Eventually, the other girl hurried out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
Lily let out a shaky sigh and threw herself into bed, closing the curtains around her as she sank into the mattress and started crying.
Mary I
Wednesday, 20 April 1977
Mary felt trapped as she sat in Myrtle's cubicle, crying with dry eyes.
"Shh," Myrtle cooed, trying but failing to stroke Mary's head. "It'll get better, Mary."
Mary shook her head. "It's been weeks," she sobbed out. "And now Marley…."
"She wasn't fair to you or Snape," Myrtle said softly, although there was a bit of disgust as she said Sev's name. "But maybe she meant what she said?"
"I know…. Sev told me that Potter was still… but I didn't think Marley had…." Mary found herself dry-sobbing once more. "It's not fair!"
"Maybe she doesn't deserve to have you as a friend," Myrtle said with a hint of anger in her voice.
"I just… I wanted everyone to get along…."
"Could Severus Snape and James Potter ever get along?"
Mary shook her head as she sniffed. "No, not really."
"Sometimes, you just need one good friend. I had that when I was alive, but…."
"... tell me."
Myrtle floated to a cross-legged position. "There was a girl one year younger than me. Her name was Eileen, but I always called her Princess. We used to play Gobstones together in this bathroom, when no one was around, and we promised each other that we would join the club, and maybe even the school team, but then…."
Mary met Myrtle's eyes as she listened to the story. "What happened to Eileen?"
"I heard she became captain of both the club and the team, and then she disappeared; I wasn't around while she was still at school."
"... Eileen Prince…." Sev's mother was…. "So, when I told you about…."
"... it hurt," Myrtle said, her voice growing uneven. "I wish I'd lived long enough to-"
Myrtle stopped as the two of them heard someone enter the lavatory, and Mary held her breath, not wanting to bring attention to herself. There was a small yelp from what sounded like a girl, followed by a low hissing sound. What followed was an odd, deep, rumbling sound, and Mary could feel the stonework beneath her feet shake slightly. Even though the rumbling stopped, the hissing continued.
"What on earth's going on?" Myrtle said in a hushed tone. She stuck her head out the stall to check.
Mary sat quietly, her heart racing as she waited for Myrtle to tell her what was happening, but Myrtle didn't move. "Myrtle?" Mary whispered.
Nothing.
Mary's grief was quickly shifting to fear. "Myrtle?" she said slightly louder.
Nothing.
"What do you see?" Mary quietly unlocked the door, opening it slowly as she peered-
Remus I
Remus was sitting in the common room with Brandy while Mary was in Herbology. He'd taken her out for a walk an hour ago, mulling over everything that had been revealed last evening. Lily being outraged, and rightfully so, was no surprise to anyone but perhaps James. What did surprise him was Marlene's reaction, but even more so the fact that she'd dumped Sirius; although he couldn't claim to know everything about her, he thought he knew enough that the spying was only the final straw on top of a list of problems she had with her relationship.
Almost on queue, Marlene appeared, coming down the stairs with Lily. They looked as though they were trying not to notice each other. Before Remus could say anything to either one of them, Lily kept walking, leaving the common room entirely. He turned to Marlene, who sat on the same couch as him and Brandy, although as far away as possible.
"... how are you feeling?" Remus asked.
"Did you know that James was spying on me?"
Remus was almost taken aback, but he had, on some level, expected the question. "... yes."
"And you said nothing."
"Yes."
"Don't 'yes' me," Marlene hissed, turning to face him. He now saw how red and puffy her eyes were. "It's one thing when James was doing all of his nonsense. It's another thing when Sirius was tolerating it, or going along with it. Hell, I can even understand Peter not saying anything. You were different."
"Marlene-"
"You're a Prefect. We're both Prefects, with Lily…. I can't believe you'd keep this from me!"
"It's not simple-"
"Not simple?! Doing your job isn't simple?!" Marlene's voice was strained, as though she'd completely dried herself out. "If I'd known what they were like, I'd never have…."
"I know," Remus said. "I'm sorry that-"
"Apologizing doesn't mean anything," Marlene retorted. "It's just words. You… why are you their friend?"
"It's complicated-"
"You're nothing like them. You're not loud or obnoxious, you're courteous and attentive. And you don't do any of those stupid jokes or pranks. You're nothing like them, but you still see them as your friends!"
"They've been there for me when I was at my lowest, when Mam passed-"
"That's not an excuse!" Marlene argued, raising her voice. "What about before she passed? You were still friends with them back then."
"How dare you call my mother's death an excuse!" Remus was on his feet, and Brandy had only just jumped off his lap in time. His blood had gone from room temperature to its boiling point at Marlene's accusation.
"Don't turn this back on me!" Marlene shot back, standing to match him. "Why are you friends with them?!"
Brandy was starting to whine, and she ran toward the portrait door, but Remus ignored her. "Because they showed me some common decency when I felt alone, not so differently to how you and Lily treated Mary."
"Mary's a Muggle-born. Of course, she'd be nervous about being here. And you're telling me you were less well-adjusted than Peter Pettigrew? Give me a break!"
It was infuriating to Remus that he couldn't tell her why they'd befriended him, how he would be shunned if people knew what he was. "Just because I look alright, doesn't mean I am alright!"
"Oh, you poor little victim!" Marlene hissed back. "You're all talk, Remus! You don't have enough of a backbone to put your foot down and leave them!"
Before Remus could retort, Brandy started barking and growling at the portrait hole. He took a deep breath and went to check on the cruppy. "What's wrong, pup?" he asked, doing his best to calm himself down. He knelt down to try to pick Brandy up, but she turned her head and snapped at his hand, nicking one of his fingers. He hissed as he withdrew from her.
"See?" Marlene said spitefully. "Even Brandy knows not to trust you."
"She's just-" Remus watched as Brandy started scratching furiously at the base of the portrait.
Suddenly, the portrait hole opened, and Brandy rushed out.
"Brandy!" Remus gave chase, but despite his stride, Brandy was unnaturally fast. "Stop! Come back here!"
Brandy sped through the corridor and made her way down the staircase, barking and snarling with more aggression than he'd seen from most animals in Creature Care. She serpentined through the students mulling around or making their way to their next class, and Remus realized that he was being slowed down by them.
"OUT OF THE WAY!" he bellowed, and the students parted like the Red Sea as he passed by.
Eventually, Remus was led to the corridor leading to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and Brandy ran in. The barking stopped almost immediately and was replaced with a pain-filled whine. Panic began to set in as he turned the corner, and he found Lily standing by the sink, her eyes wide and her mouth struggling not to quiver.
"Lily?" Remus asked.
Footsteps approached from behind, and Marlene came into the room with a pant, "Where's Brandy… Lily?" Her voice was panicked at Lily's expression, and as she moved into the room, her head turned, and she let out a horrible scream before collapsing to the ground.
Remus stepped in, turned his head, and found three things. Brandy, whimpering and howling in despair. Moaning Myrtle, hovering and motionless. And the wide-eyed, unmoving form of Mary MacDonald.
Lily II
Friday, 22 April 1977
Lily, Marlene, and Remus walked into the Hospital Wing after Transfiguration class had finished. None of them were hungry, but they forced themselves to bring up a few sandwiches to keep themselves from starving. Madam Pomfrey had set out a few chairs for them to sit around Mary's bed, along with a small set of stairs for Brandy to hop up and sit next to the petrified girl. Marlene sat down beside Mary and set her plate on the side table. Saying nothing, she took one of the sandwiches and began eating. Remus sat in the chair next to her, giving the visibly-depressed Brandy some attention.
How Mary was only petrified and not outright dead was confusing to Lily, but she had to try to figure out what had happened. If Severus was here, he would try to gain as much information on the situation as possible. Mary had been found with Moaning Myrtle, who was also petrified. Myrtle was a ghost, and, to Lily's knowledge, ghosts couldn't die twice. She'd found Mary positioned behind Myrtle… had looking through the ghost saved her from death? That sounded like something Severus would say.
"How do you think it's going?" Remus asked no one in particular, referring to the questioning that Dumbledore was currently undergoing by the Aurors.
"... I don't know," Lily answered after a long silence. "Do you think they'll drop the last charge on Severus?"
"They'd have to," Remus replied.
"Then why isn't he free yet?" Marlene asked, her voice sounding hollow.
"Ministry paperwork," Remus answered. "Tad's always complained about it. Sometimes, he makes jokes about having to sign and notarize papers for a pot of tea."
Marlene laughed humorlessly.
Lily sat down in the remaining chair and set her plate down on her lap. She took a bite of her flavorless sandwich and said, "Marley, I'm sorry about our fight."
"... you were right," Marlene said quietly. "I shouldn't have been trying so hard for them."
Brandy sat up and awkwardly walked over to Marlene, pawing at the air to have some of her food. Marlene gave the cruppy a small smile and took some of the ham out, feeding it to her.
"You're a very good girl, Brandy," Marlene said. "How about we go for a walk after lunch?"
Brandy let out a small whine and nuzzled her face into Mary's side.
"You can't make a mess here, girl," Remus said. He turned to Marlene and asked, "Could I come with you?"
Marlene nodded. "Thanks. Lily, are you coming?"
"I was going to see Dumbledore and ask him about Severus," Lily replied. "I'll come back once I'm done." She stood and set her plate on the side table next to Marlene's. "I'll go ahead and do that now so that Mary isn't alone."
"Should one of us come with you?" Marlene asked.
"I'll be careful. I have a mirror."
Lily left the Hospital Wing and made her way to the gargoyle just outside Dumbledore's office, where she found Professor McGonagall waiting patiently. McGonagall turned, somewhat surprised by Lily's presence. "Miss Evans?"
"Hello, professor," Lily said. "Is the headmaster busy?"
"He and Mr. Hagrid are still speaking with Auror Scrimgeour," McGonagall explained.
"Hagrid?"
"I'm not at liberty to say," McGonagall said apologetically. "But I'm sure it won't be too long."
Regardless of how long the wait was, it felt longer. Lily felt a bout of nervousness settle in her chest, which continued building until the staircase opened up. Dumbledore descended, accompanied by Scrimgeour.
"Ah, professor!" Dumbledore said, with a smile. "You've saved me the trouble of finding you."
"Headmaster?" McGonagall asked with uncertainty.
"I'm afraid that Rubeus and I are being taken in for questioning," Dumbledore explained. There was a notably absence of warmth as he said this. He turned to Lily and said, "Severus's case is still being reviewed."
"You can't be serious!" McGonagall objected. She turned to Scrimgeour and said, "Surely, you should be searching for the culprit!"
"I am not at liberty to discuss this case," Scrimgeour explained as calmly as McGonagall seemed to allow. "You may contact the office with any questions or concerns, and-"
"Yes, I know how your office operates," McGonagall said with notable anger.
"Calm yourself, professor," Dumbledore said gently. "While I am gone, you are to continue with your duties."
"... yes, headmaster," McGonagall said, her anger slowly receding.
Before Dumbledore and Scrimgeour turned to return back up to the office, the former stopped and addressed Lily. "When Severus returns to Hogwarts, be sure to let him know he is not alone."
"Of course, sir," Lily said. "Do you know when he'll be released?"
"The review process may take some time," Scrimgeour answered, "but I will bring it to their attention."
Lily nodded as Dumbledore and Scrimgeour went back up the staircase, which closed behind them. She turned to a clearly concerned McGonagall, expecting her to say something, but nothing was said. She herself didn't really know what to say to the professor. It seemed they were both rendered speechless.
After some time had passed, McGonagall turned and said, "Well, standing here won't solve anything. Are you busy with anything?"
"No, professor," Lily replied. "I was going to go sit with Mary while Marley and Remus took Brandy for a walk."
"I see," McGonagall said with a nod, regaining her composure. "Well, you better see to that then. Be careful, Miss Evans."
"And you, professor."
The trip back to the Hospital Wing flew by, and Lily was once more sitting down in the chair beside Mary. Remus and Marlene had found Brandy's leash and left, leaving Lily alone, watching over the petrified girl as she ate a sandwich.
Remus II
Saturday, 23 April 1977
"Are you insane?!" Remus was growing more flustered with James's plan. "If Lily finds out what you two are doing-"
"She won't!" James answered with notable frustration. "And I think she'll understand that we want to keep watch over everyone."
"And maybe, we could catch the culprit in the act," Sirius added.
"No one will see us," James said, waving around his invisibility cloak. "In and out."
"Filch will be more active," Remus responded.
"Mate," Sirius said in an almost disappointed tone, "you're a Prefect. You, of all people, should know that he won't be in his office on a Saturday.
Remus cursed himself. Sirius was right; Filch's office would be easier to break into because the caretaker was more active around the castle, as opposed to sitting in his office. And their reasons for wanting the map back weren't even wrong; if there was someone causing this, and it wasn't Snape, then they needed to find out. However…. "If you're so adamant about it, why not tell McGonagall about the map?"
"And lose it forever?" James asked, as though the question had an obvious answer. "We tell her, and we never get it back."
"Peter," Remus said, turning to the fourth boy in the room. "Please tell me you're not going to agree with them."
"... I…." Peter looked between the three of them, as though he was genuinely considering the right course of action.
"If it was up to you," Remus asked, pressing the question, "what would you do?"
"I mean…. Wouldn't we be safer if we knew where everyone was?"
"Thank you," Sirius said with exasperation.
"This is insane," Remus said, wanting to get up and leave the room.
"You don't have to be involved," James said in a reassuring manner. "Just… pretend you didn't hear any of this, alright?"
Remus felt trapped in this conversation. He knew they were right on some level, but the fact that they were still behaving the way they normally did, whether or not they were bullying people, was suffocating. "... fine," Remus said, surrendering the argument.
"Great!" Sirius said, lacing his shoes. "I'm ready. Prongs?"
"Doubly." James flashed Sirius a grin as he threw the cloak over the two of them. The door to the dorm room opened and shut, leaving Remus and Peter in the room.
"Why did you back them up?" Remus asked Peter.
Peter avoided Remus's gaze, but he said, "Well, wouldn't it be better to be prepared?"
Remus couldn't argue with that. "And what about when they use it to spy on other people? Or have you forgotten our little moment on the train ride back?"
"... well…." Peter didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he kept his eyes on the ground.
"... I'm going into the common room," Remus said, walking out of the room.
Marlene was sitting alone in front of the fireplace, book in hand. She turned her head as Remus came down the stairs and said, "Hey."
"No Lily?"
"She went to check on Mary." Marlene shut the book and set it down. "Can we talk?"
Remus nodded and sat beside her. "What about?"
"It's about Sirius and James."
"... oh."
"Why are you still friends with them?"
Remus had hoped Marlene would ask a different question, or perhaps any question that wasn't that one. The non-werewolf answers he'd given weren't enough, but there was no scenario in which telling the truth would end well.
"Well?" Marlene asked expectantly.
"... I want to tell you," Remus said, hoping she wouldn't dig deeper than that.
"No, you don't," Marlene replied. She didn't sound angry, only… disappointed.
"When I say it isn't simple, I really mean it."
"Give me one good reason I should trust you," Marlene said. "If I can't trust you to tell me when me and my friends are being spied on, why should I trust you now?"
"... what would it take?"
"Telling me the truth," Marlene said adamantly. "Why are you friends with them?"
Remus felt his chest grow tight, and his breathing became unsteady. He couldn't think of anything to say. "I can't."
Marlene didn't say anything immediately, but eventually, she asked, "Are they blackmailing you?"
"What?! No, of course not-"
"Why else couldn't you tell me?"
"My life is none of your business!" Remus shot back. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized what he'd said. And worse, whom he'd said them to.
"... Mary's petrified," Marlene said, her voice going quiet, "and Lily's still mad at me. I just wanted…." She didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she stood up and went to the staircase.
Remus stood and tried to stop her. "Marlene, I'm sorry-"
"I want to go to my room," Marlene said, turning and looking Remus in the eye. She was hurt.
Remus nodded. "Alright." He watched as Marlene went up the staircase and shut the door behind her before he sat back down on the couch. Ever since the Easter holiday, everything seemed to be crashing down around everyone. Lily's father had died, he and Peter had lost the map, Mary was petrified, and Sirius and Marlene had broken up (albeit for good reason, as reluctant as he was to admit it). And he wasn't even thinking about what Snape was going through in Azkaban.
Needing to clear his head, Remus got up and went out of the portrait hole, turning and making his way to the staircase leading down. He might as well visit the Hospital Wing, or perhaps see how James and Sirius were doing near Filch's office. He opted for the latter, although he'd have to avoid suspicion.
As Remus was making his way to the ground floor, he felt his foot catch on something, and he fell forward. By instinct, he raised his hands out to catch himself, which proved to be a mistake. His hands hit the steps below hard, and the impact shocked him enough that he lost strength in his arms and felt his face hit the stonework. Before he could register what was happening, he was at the bottom of the staircase, pain erupting from his arms and head, the taste of iron or copper in his mouth. He heard a few footsteps approaching him in a hurry, and he looked up to find a few students gathering around him, asking him if he was alright. While he couldn't quite understand what they were saying exactly, he perfectly understood the scream that came from one of their mouths as they turned their attention to the stairs.
Remus turned his head and found two figures, both petrified, laying on the stairs. The one wearing a pair of broken glasses was holding a piece of parchment in his hand; the other was holding a mirror. The pain seemed to vanish at the sight of a petrified James Potter and Sirius Black.
Lily III
Monday, 25 April 1977
Lily and Marlene were sitting across the Gryffindor table from Remus and Peter in silence. Mary. James. Sirius. All petrified. It was a miracle that none of them had died, and Lily supposed she should be grateful for that at the very least. But with Dumbledore gone, it was hard to find any comfort or sense of safety. The Great Hall itself reflected that, with very few people staying longer than five minutes and hardly a word exchanged, which left the hall unusually quiet. The professors sitting at the table all sat in silence as well, including Slughorn.
"Could you pass the chips?" Peter asked Remus.
Remus passed them over wordlessly and continued picking at the scant meat on his plate.
"Thank you." Peter took the pincers and all but filled his plate before he began scarfing them down.
Lily glanced over at Marlene, who had barely touched anything on her plate. She seemed to be taking all of this worse than the rest of them; her eyes were perpetually downcast, as though too preoccupied with figuring out what sort of wood the table was made of.
An owl flew into the Great Hall and landed beside McGonagall, and the older witch took the envelope from the bird's mouth. She opened the letter and read through its contents, which seemed to be short enough for her to immediately stand and walk through the hall. Lily was surprised to find that McGonagall stopped by the Gryffindor table and said, "Miss Evans, will you retrieve Mr. Black and come to the Headmaster's Office?"
"Of course, professor," Lily said, now unsure what was going on. She stood and said to Remus, "I'll be right back." As Remus nodded in response, she walked over to the Slytherin table where Regulus Black was sitting. "Black, the headmistress wishes to see us."
"I see." Black stood up and inclined his head. "Lead on."
Lily and Black followed after McGonagall and eventually found themselves in Dumbledore's office. McGonagall stood by the fireplace and said, "Snarky."
Pop. "Headmistress McGonagall needs Snarky?"
"We're ready."
"Of course." Pop. Pop. "Snarky has informed the Aurors."
"Aurors?" Black asked, some worry uncharacteristically in his voice. "Have we done something wrong?"
Before McGonagall could respond, the fireplace erupted in a green flame, and four people stepped out. The first was Auror Scrimgeour, the second and third Aurors that Lily didn't recognize.
And the fourth was Severus.
"... Sev…!" Lily's heart leapt as she saw him, but immediately crashed back down when she saw what state he was in. He was skeletal in appearance, his school uniform draping and hanging off of his body as though it was three sizes too large. His skin was a pale, waxy white color, which was offset by his long, black-and-silver hair. His eyes were bloodshot, with his right pupil paler and slightly deformed, looking more like a slit than a dot.
"Mr. Snape," McGonagall said with some hesitancy, "how have you fared?"
"Fine." Severus's voice was ice-cold, almost lifeless. "I want to see Mary."
Lily was stunned. Severus never called Mary by her first name. "Sev-"
"Mary," Severus repeated, his eyes meeting Lily's. There was no intensity behind them, nothing but what Lily would call an absence of life.
"Mr. Snape has had his wand privileges revoked for the time being," Scrimgeour said to McGonagall, handing her Severus's wand. "He has to prove that he is not a danger to the other students."
"For how long?" McGonagall asked.
"The remainder of term," Scrimgeour said. "Should his classes require wandwork, he may practice under the private supervision of the professor."
"Of course," McGonagall said, nodding. "Thank you for returning him."
Scrimgeour nodded, and he and the Aurors returned into the green flames and vanished.
"Mr. Snape," McGonagall said, "I will let you visit Miss MacDonald, but you will have to return to your room immediately afterward. Snarky will bring you your meals."
Severus nodded minimally.
"You may take him and go," McGonagall said to Lily. "And Black, I trust you will keep an eye on him?"
"Of course, professor," Black said before leaving.
Lily approached Severus slowly, gently taking him by the arm, which caused him to recoil slightly. "It's just me," she said softly. Severus let Lily take his arm, and she led him down the staircase and out into the corridor, taking her mirror out as she did. "Have you been eating?"
"Yes," Severus said blankly.
Lily was disturbed by how little he seemed to want to talk, and she felt her eyes welling up. She stopped Severus and turned him around, saying, "I'm so sorry-"
"Why have we stopped?" Severus's voice wasn't hostile, but his words somehow cut Lily off entirely.
"I just-"
"How does this help us get to the Hospital Wing?"
"... I just-"
Severus ignored her and turned back around, continuing on his way and going down the staircase. Lily followed, if only to keep up with him; she knew it would be useless to try to stop him now that he was set on seeing Mary. As they descended, they ran into a few groups of students who stopped and stared at Severus with mixes of fear and… oddly enough, awe. But Severus either didn't notice or didn't care.
They soon found themselves entering the Hospital Wing to find Madam Pomfrey speaking with Black. The two of them were standing beside Sirius's bed, and the expression Black wore almost made Lily feel sorry for him. But her feeling vanished when Black looked up and met her eye, and he quickly stepped away from the bed and hurried out, passing both her and Severus.
"... Mr. Snape," Pomfrey all but exclaimed, the shock apparent on her face. "Goodness, dear, come sit down."
"I'm only here to see Mary," Severus said blankly. He walked over to Mary's bed, Lily following, and looked down at the petrified girl and the cruppy that had just woken up. Brandy looked up at Severus and slowly moved herself between him and Mary, but she didn't seem as hostile as before.
"Good," Severus said to Brandy. "You're loyal."
Lily didn't say anything; instead, she stood silently as Severus remained motionless, almost as motionless as Mary if not for the way his eyes seemed to change. There was an obvious look of guilt in them, and Lily was ashamed to admit that it was the same look he'd had when he'd come to apologize for calling her a Mudblood. He'd meant it back then, and regardless of whether she was in the right for ending it, it didn't change the fact that he had been sincere. If she'd forgiven him, or at the very least spoken to him in the Owlery, perhaps she wouldn't have expected so much of him. Perhaps, she would've stood her ground and refused James's invitation to Hogsmeade. And perhaps, Mary wouldn't have been attacked that day. It would've saved Severus his time and sanity.
"Are you feeling well?" Pomfrey asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes," Severus said vacantly. "I'll visit when I can."
"Of course, dear," Pomfrey said.
"Have a good day." Severus stepped away and went out the door.
Lily followed behind, and the two of them made their way to Severus's room on the fourth floor. Before he could open the door, she stopped him, catching his arm once more and stepping in front of him. "Sev, we need to talk."
"I'm tired," Severus said.
"I know," Lily said. "Could we talk in your room?"
"... no," Severus answered. The apathy in his voice hurt.
"No?"
"I don't want to be around people."
"You wanted to see Mary," Lily shot back as gently as possible.
"She's my best friend. Of course, I'd want to see her."
… Lily felt something break inside. As selfish as it sounded, it hurt hearing Severus call Mary his best friend. What made it worse was that she couldn't even fault him for it; she knew it was her expectations of him that had driven him to this state. "... I thought I was your best friend."
"You were," Severus said. His voice hardened slightly. "Azkaban helped put things into perspective."
"Is this about James?" Lily asked. "I'm done with him, alright?! I didn't know that-"
"This isn't just about James."
Lily's blood went ice-cold. Severus never called James by his first name.
"When did you start fancying him?" Severus asked.
Lily was confused. "I… what are you talking about?"
"I had one of the guards read your letter," Severus explained. "You went to Hogsmeade with him and shared a kiss. When did you start fancying him?"
"It was just… Sev, I went with him so that he'd be satisfied."
"People like James Potter are never satisfied. In addition, you've been growing closer to him throughout the year; I've not been blind to it. When did you start fancying him?"
Lily felt uncomfortable with this entire conversation. She knew when it'd started, but if she told Severus at a time like this, when he was clearly not in his right mind, she didn't know how he would react. "It… recently."
"Recently? I didn't realize fourth year was considered 'recent'."
Lily's heart stopped. "What are you talking about?" she asked, half-feigning shock.
"I like to think the best of you," Severus said, the words digging into Lily. "I like to think that you aren't fickle when it comes to your values and convictions. During our exams last year, James Potter was, in your words 'an arrogant, bullying toerag', and you witnessed him and Sirius attack me in broad daylight to the delight of an entire crowd."
"... why did you call him Sirius?" Lily asked.
"Because that's his name," Severus replied, as though it was obvious. "Anyway, they did this at the end of fifth year, and yet, within less than a year from that day, you find yourself on a date with James and sharing a kiss. The Lily I believe you to be wouldn't change her tune on someone like James that quickly, which means one of two things: either you lied about your convictions, or you lied about how you felt about him. Or perhaps, both."
"What?!" Lily wasn't going to put up with that accusation. "I would never-"
"You did," Severus said, not missing a beat. "In fourth year."
"Why are you bringing this up?"
"Because my best friend would never consider fancying my enemy. And you did."
The words brought back the memory of what Mary had said before Mulciber had attacked her. She was right. Severus was right. "... I'm sorry," Lily said, the guilt setting in. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."
"We can't help how we feel," Severus said. "I shouldn't have expected you to actually be my friend in the first place."
"No, that's- Sev, of course we were friends!" Lily objected.
"Were we?" Severus asked, clearly not believing it. "Tell me this: why did you come find me after the day we met?"
"I… I was curious about you."
"About magic," Severus finished. "Not about me."
"No!"
"Your questions were all about magic," Severus continued. "You didn't ask where I lived until later on."
… that couldn't have been true, could it? "I… maybe I didn't ask, but…."
"I don't blame you for that," Severus said. "I was curious about you because you were a witch. Magic drew us together."
"Mary told me you loved me," Lily said, trying to appeal to that, anything to bring him back. "That has to mean something to you."
"It does," Severus said, "but it never mattered."
"Why not?!"
"Because you never loved me."
"What?! Sev, of course I do! We were best friends! I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted you to feel safe with me! What else would you call that?!"
"Pity."
"... what?" Lily couldn't believe that Severus was equating their friendship to pity. "No, I cared about you! I just wanted to help you!"
"You cared about the idea of me," Severus retorted. "You saw a lonely boy, so you spent time with him. You saw a hungry boy, so you fed him. You saw a cold boy, so you gave him clothes. You saw a troubled boy, so you wanted to set him right. You didn't want to help me; you wanted to fix me, because everything about me was wrong in your eyes."
"Sev-"
"You once told me that I seemed like a different person," Severus said coldly. "You're right. I- SHUT UP!" he suddenly hissed at seemingly nothing, causing Lily to jump back. His eyes had flickered from lifeless to enraged within a second at whatever he had told to silence, and now, his eyes were burning coals as he looked back at her. "I'm sure you read the papers. How I went mad, right?"
"It was just an article-"
"It was right," Severus glowered, and Lily shrank back. "And that's the problem. Nothing I was before that moment would have ever been good enough for you. I had to go mad for you to think better of me, because you would never even think of forgiving the old me. That Severus you met by the playground is gone. Even if you care about me, you don't care about him. Because the real Severus Snape will never be enough."
"Sev-"
"Don't call me that," Severus said with a cold fury. "I'm not your Sev. And you're not my Lily."
"... you're tired," Lily said, holding back her tears. "You've been in Azkaban for-"
"How dare you," Severus said, his voice growing sharp. "I won't let you dismiss what I'm saying as fatigue or trauma. Even if I was well, nothing I've said is false."
"Severus, I care about you-"
"No," Severus said, interrupting her once more. "You feel guilty, and the secret I expected Mary to keep is making you feel worse. Let me tell you what would have happened to us if I hadn't gone mad, if I hadn't gone through all of this.
"You would've disregarded me and grown closer to James and his friends, now that the pretense of our friendship was gone. You would've warmed to his advances, slowly but surely, and you'd be dating him by seventh year. He'd have you on your knees before graduation-"
Lily didn't even register the slap she gave Severus until she felt the sting in her hand. Her eyes widened as his cheek grew red, and the first tears fell from her eyes. "... I didn't mean to…."
"There she is," Severus said in a low voice, his eyes locked with hers. "There's the Lily I know."
Lily let out a shaky breath as more tears came down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…." The words died on her lips, and it was made worse by the silence Severus gave her. "That's… I'm not like this…."
"You are. You're the sort to send a letter to a blind man and expect him to read it. You're the sort to smirk at someone being humiliated and turn your back on him in his moment of weakness."
"I wouldn't smirk at that!" Lily exclaimed.
"That's what I saw before I called you that word. I was upside down, my trousers around my ankles, and I saw your mouth then. I know your tells… and I know when you're trying not to smile."
Lily shook her head, "Sev-"
"Don't. Call. Me. Sev." A silence fell upon them before it was broken. "I have to catch up on my schoolwork."
"... alright…." Lily stood defeated as Severus entered his room, shutting it behind her. Her face twisted as more tears fell, and she turned and hurried down the corridor, covering her mouth so no one could hear her.
Lily finally made it up to her dorm room and sat down at the desk, letting the guilt and grief finally pour out as she broke into a sob. She hurriedly took out the black book and started writing in it. Before she could finish the first words, writing appeared.
Lily, what's wrong?
Sev hates me
What do you mean?
He doesn't think I care about him
But you do?
He told me about how I wronged him
He's unwell.
He's right
Do you honestly believe that?
I didn't know how much I'd hurt him, but it's so obvious now
It's not your fault.
YES IT IS
Give it time, Lily. Azkaban has affected him, whether he knows it or not. He will come around.
What if he doesn't
If he doesn't, then your friend truly is gone.
Lily, I shouldn't have said that.
I love him
That's only feelings, Lily. You don't love him the way you think you do. It's guilt.
I know
What do you mean?
I should have cared about him. He said I wanted to fix him
And?
He was right
Why is that bad?
He said I wouldn't see him as ever being good enough
And?
I wanted to change him into someone else, and I stopped seeing him for who he was. He just wanted someone who loved him
Do you pity him?
He doesn't want me to
Then don't. If I discovered that someone only treated me well out of pity, I would resent that person as well.
What do I do?
I don't think you should be friends with him
I want to fix things
That's the problem. You see your relationship as a problem to fix instead of as a relationship to cultivate. You aren't fit to be his friend.
Lily slammed the book shut and got up from her chair, knocking it over as another wave of sobs took over. She had to make things right, no matter what. She opened the drawer again, taking out the Felix Felicis she kept there…
… only to find it empty.
Lily froze, the ice constricting her lungs. She didn't remember drinking any of it aside from when she went into the Forbidden Forest that night. She set the bottle back in the drawer and shut it, stepping back and sitting down on her bed. An amount of time passed before the door to the room opened, and Marlene appeared.
"Hey," Marlene said as she came in, "is it true that Snape…? Lily?" She quickly sat on the bed and wrapped an arm around her. "What happened?"
Lily couldn't bring herself to answer. All she could do was cry into Marlene's shoulder.
Regulus II
Wednesday, 27 April 1977
Snape was free.
Two days had passed since the news reached Regulus's ear, and he was starting to put the pieces together. It was obvious: the Dark Lord, for some reason, wanted Snape to be free. He wanted him to be at Hogwarts, in particular, which was somehow tied to his plan of 'perfecting' himself; what meant was unknown.
Regulus had thought about the two attacks that had happened within the past week-and-a-half, and how the article on the Slytherin boys had come out within that time. What were the odds that two of the things Snape had been accused of had been disproven within such a short amount of time? Close to impossible, if it were a coincidence. But it couldn't be a coincidence. Regulus already knew the Dark Lord had a hand in the Slytherin boys being found, but now, it was becoming clear that he was also responsible for the attacks. For Sirius being petrified.
Regulus had grown not to care for his older brother, and yet the situation worried him. Sirius was a pure-blood. James Potter was a pure-blood. If pure-bloods were being attacked because the Chamber was open… then no one was safe. Anyone could be petrified or worse, and if the Dark Lord had a hand in this… did he even care about pure-bloods? What good was a pure-blooded society if pure-bloods were in danger of being killed?
As Regulus sat alone in his dorm room, emptied by the attack on Valentine's Day, he took out a blank sheet of parchment and dipped his quill in ink.
Dear Sirius,
If you are reading this, then you have probably been revived from being petrified. I am writing this in advance, as
Regulus was thrown out of his train of thought as a crack sounded through the room, and Kreacher fell down beside Regulus's chair. He was shaking and coughing up water, his rags wet and torn, and there were claw marks all over his body. Between the coughs and vomiting of water, there was a soft, quiet weeping noise Regulus had never heard before.
"... Kreacher…?" Regulus's voice felt detached, and he wasn't sure how to process what he was seeing. "Kreacher, what-?"
"Master Regulus!" Kreacher all but leapt into Regulus lap, burying his face into the boy's robes as he broke down into uncontrollable sobbing. "Kreacher returned! Kreacher had to return! Kreacher is back!"
"Kreacher, what happened?!" Regulus asked. The panic was starting to build.
"Kreacher-" Kreacher choked back his sob and wiped his nose with his wet rags. "Kreacher was summoned, and he was taken to a cave by the Dark Lord, and he made…." Kreacher held out his hand, which had been cut open, as he incoherently explained what had happened. "... and then Kreacher drank the poison, and there was such dread, master! Kreacher thought he would never see Master Regulus again, but he had to, because Master Regulus told him to obey the Dark Lord! And then there was a thirst, and Kreacher went to drink, and…." Kreacher let his face fall back into Regulus's chest as the sobbing continued.
Regulus's chest hurt, but not from Kreacher's head banging into it repetitively, as though to numb himself. The inside of his chest hurt, and a pulling sensation from within made Regulus involuntarily frown. He tried to take a breath in, but he let out a shuddered breath instead, and something wet and warm began falling from his eyes. "You're safe, Kreacher," he said, his voice cracking. "You did well. You served me faithfully…."
Regulus wrapped his arms around the tiny, wet, bloodied house-elf as he realized what he'd done.