Chapter 5

Eating a dry hunk of bread is not the easiest thing to do while sitting atop a disproportionate pony that you just happened to be tied to. Not that I can say I'm surprised, what with the amount of times I've tried to escape in the last couple of hours. I'm more annoyed with my inability to escape than the questsketeers insistence that I stay. My skills are lacking, which never is a good thing because when caught between a rock and a hard place, you need to be made of steel. So hardening my resolve, I aim to control the only thing I can: Myself.

Escape might not be a current option for me but that doesn't mean it'll never happen. There are going to be plenty of instances where everyone will be more concerned about other things besides little ole me. None more so than in Rivendell. All I have to do is slip away long enough to ask/beg Elrond to let me stay. With me 'safely contained' Gandalf will have no reason to keep me around and the dwarves will be too sorely outnumbered to even think of forcing the issue. That plan has to work because I'm already losing my cool here. Spending the entire length of the trip bound and fighting for my freedom... It will just bring up too many bad memories that I'm not ready to deal with.

Sniffing the thoughts away quietly, I ignore the dwarf guiding my pony with his own. Instead, I take in my surroundings. With a forest spanning farther than I can see on my right and a river to my far left, I begin to build a mental map. Bilbo isn't here yet... So we haven't yet reached Frogmorton. So we must be around Bywater, if I had to give a rough guess. That's not even an eighth of the way to Bree.

"This is going to take FOREVER." Grumbling quietly beneath my breath, it takes me a moment to notice the curious stare of my hatted kidnapper. When I do, there is an internal battle not to just throw an insult his way. I'd love to but for my own sanity, I'll refrain "Can I... Help you?"

"... I'm right as rain, Lassie." A bark of laughter escapes my mouth before I can catch it. It'll be raining soon enough and if I remember correctly, which I'm sure I do, no one will be happy about it. Not that he's aware of that, so I just look nuts "Are ye... All right?"

"I've been kidnapped-"

"Come now, tisn't kidnapping."

"Oh? What would you call it, hat-for-brains?"

"Considering ye threaten the lives and safety of the heroes of Erebor, I'd call it letting ye off easy."

"... You seriously referred to yourself as the hero before you even achieved anything..." Squinting my eyes at his shrug, I turn my attention back to the river "Un-freakin'-believable."

The steady sound of the pony steps lulls me into a sense of deep-seated boredom. To stave off the drowsy feeling, I take a bite of my brunch each time I see a hobbit with black or straight hair. Curly and brown is the norm but there are plenty of the beings in general fishing along the river. For a race who can't swim, they sure are bold. Studying the hobbits only leads to more boredom after a minute or so.

"She did not say that, did she?"

"I wouldn't lie."

"Nor do I think you are... but... Kili, leave it. She doesn't matter."

"Such disrespect, you think I'd ignore?" "Well... Have you told Uncle?"

"Of course not, what good would it do?"

The hushed whispers quickly draw my attention to the back of the procession. Whether or not the Durin brats intended for me to hear their conversation over the bartering and bets of the rest of the company is beside the point. The possibility of them talking about me is almost as high as my boredom levels so I turn my head to listen a little bit better.

"... He should know what lies she spouts, especially if they bother you so."

"The redheaded she-devil." Ah... definitely me then. "We are not slaves for her kind to order."

"Slave she said? Truly?"

"Aye, brother." who would have thought he'd take it so seriously? Those within hearing distance pretend to be deaf but I catch every glare thrown my way "I knew not whether to argue the point or just leave her there. I wish we had."

"There is little use in arguing with children of Men. Not living long enough to surpass the age of ignorant youth, the whole race is made up of bickering fools." I shoot a silent snarl at the half deaf dwarf who appears to be hearing just fine. He returns it with a spot of more venom seeped with age old hate "It's a surprise they haven't all killed each other off already."

"..."

"Lassie..." Flicking my gaze away from one dwarf to the other, I stare at my forced guide "You won't make any friends with your face or words like that."

"I don't need friends. I don't want friends." Looking him up and down with a deliberate expression of disgust, I scoff before loudly continuing for them all to hear "Even if I did want or need friends, I wouldn't look for them amongst any of you."

"... Maybe not." Humming softly and placing a pipe between his teeth, the dwarf returns his eyes to the road. "But soon, we're all you're going to have."

Though I'd have preferred to have the last word, the sudden cry of Bilbo has the entire conga line pulling to a halt. He clomps after the group dressed as if he was going to Sunday dinner and ran the whole way there. A smorgasbord of items bursts out of his overpacked bag but I'm sure he's brought all the wrong things. That just seems like something he would do. Not that I'm one to talk. All I've got is a stolen throw blanket that I was 'allowed' to keep. Its humiliating.

"I signed it!" Fool of a Took. You'll earn yourself nothing but heartache from this venture. He should have just stayed safe in his home but no... He should have just stayed and let the rest of the world burn "I-I signed it..."

"Everything appears to be in order." Balin- I mean... The powdered dwarrow looks over the contract as the hobbit catches his breath. I mustn't use their names. Giving them names means I'm becoming familiar. Becoming familiar will only make things harder. It's much better to keep them at a distance "Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"Give him a pony."

"Uncle!" the change has me snapping my head in the direction of the youngest Prince. I do not like deviations where there should not be any. I never have and I most certainly do not now "We haven't a pony to give him. The last Pony... Well... She's riding it."

"Oh pardon my manners, miss!" Looking all the flustered Gentlemen, The Hobbit scampers over to my side with a bow. He was knocked out by the time I arrived to active consciousness so it's safe to say that he doesn't know the current situation "I do not believe we met last night. I am Bilbo Baggins. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Charmed."

"And what are you called, if I may ask?"

"Um... Right now... I'm being kidnapped so... I guess abductee sounds good."