Chapter 22

An insistent chirping pulls me from my much needed rest. My first instinct is to grouse about the rudeness of the avian species but then I remember what today is. Today is the first day, my first day, of being better. So instead of groaning about the noise, I express thanks that my ears didn't stop working overnight.

"Oh boy. Ha ha. Yup, I can still hear. What a wonderful thing!" I can't hold the upbeat joy without grimacing. I'm not a naturally preppy person. I never was... and that's alright. Being a morning person is honestly just weird. Simply getting up this morning is more than I could do a few months ago. Baby steps "I should... I should get cleaned up and dressed."

Quickly washing my face in a weird bowl that may have been set out for drinking, I put my best foot forward. I even run a brush through my hair a few times, something I haven't done since I arrived here. Even back home, Annie is the one who took care of my hair. I really couldn't be bothered with the mass but she wasn't having it. 'You already have too much in common with a raggedy anne to let your hair go untamed!' She'd be horrified if she could see the knots and snarls in it now. I look like a wild child from the deepest wood. Bits of leaves and twigs stick out from the tight curls; I could pass for a bush. Plucking out the green bits, I do my best. It hurts with each snag but I don't stop until the brush runs smoothly. Annie isn't here... I'll brush my own hair from now on.

Grabbing my clothes, I halt when coming across my tattered jeans and sweatshirt. Holes scattered across the knees and elbows, only half of which were placed for style, litter the clothing. Folding the items neatly, I walk over to the closet. Pulling it open, I gag at the gorgeous gowns draped within it. I personally own maybe... 3 dresses back home. All in black. I prefer pants as they are hardier... and harder to get in to. Even before the whole ordeal, I was never really a dress person but today I think I'll wear one. Today I think I need to wear one.

"Wearing dresses is a normal thing to do, especially around here. Plenty of girls wear dresses and don't get assaulted... It's alright to wear a dress... It's alright... I'll be alright."

Staring at the swirling colors, I feel my stomach churn. Closing my eyes, I snatch the first dress that comes off the hanger and shut the door. Breathing deeply, I try to calm myself before looking at my choice. Clothes shopping was never this hard on REGULAR earth. The material of the dress is soft in my hands, so I give it a shot. It's a calming sea green gown with long billowing sleeves and an impressive scoop neck. It is nearly perfect.

But... The shimmering material will bring too much attention to me. If people notice me, then they'll notice the scoop neck which will no doubt review of my cleavage and wouldn't that just be like... asking for it? Taunting people, men, to look at me? It'd be my fault all over aga-

"It wasn't my fault." Yanking off my nightshirt, I grip the dress tightly. My hands tremble but I'm sure not to drop the item. "What I wore when he chose us didn't matter. What I did, didn't dissuade him. What I said had no importance. He wanted to hurt me and that is NOT my fault."

Tugging the dress over my head, I allow it to fall into place. Glancing at my reflection, I admit that it looks good on me. It compliments my eyes and curves without making my already pale complexion anymore ghostly. It fits as though it was made for me. Hair combed, skin clean, and a dress made to order makes me feel like a princess from any story book. I look... Beautiful. Frowning at my reflection, I feel myself start to hyperventilate.

I'm not ready to be beautiful. I'm not ready for anyone to look at and admire me. It's just too much. I can't go out like this. I could turn heads like this, something I've been trying to avoid for a very long time. Shutting my eyes I focus on my breathing before coming to a conclusion.

"Baby steps."

Plucking up my sweatshirt, I pull it over my head as well. It's fits over the dress, dampening some of the feminine allure as it swallows my curves. Foregoing the slippers I glimpsed in the bottom of the closet, I slip into my old ragged sneakers and admire my handiwork.

My breath comes easier as I see the familiar reflection and now I can relax a bit. I look like the morning after version of any late-night partygoer: Done with impressing the crowd but too tired to fully undress. I smile at myself, feeling more like myself.

"Baby steps."

ORI POV

Nervously peeking at the group around me, I sip the cup of ale before me. We've been traveling together for some time now but I'm still a bit nervous around them. It's no secret that I'm different. I'm not as... I'm... I'm not like other dwarves. Others have picked on me time and again, making my brother's extremely protective of me. They do their best to compensate, especially Dori, but...you can not change who you are. And I am... shy.

It is made all the worse by the overwhelming presence of the elves. They are so beautifully perfect... It's horribly unnerving. The others are loud and boisterous but I can feel their nervousness through their laughter. I have never experienced such an intense breakfast.

I gaze up sadly at the archway that would no doubt lead to my escape but Dori... Dori would forbid me from doing so something so dangerous on my own. There is a library here that I would love to explore; the Hobbit has even gone to do so. Dori expressed no such worry for master Baggins' safety, who is much less... Prepared for an attack than I. While not a-a-a seasoned Warrior, I'm sure I could defend myself against an elf at the very least... At least, I can if a hobbit can!

"Dori? D-Dori?" tapping my oldest brother on his arm, I try to gain his attention "Brother? I-I'm going."

"Going?" He turns his whole body to face me and I feel my mouth go dry. There are few things my brother dislikes more than disorder. Getting up from a table in the middle of a meal, no matter the host, is... Very disorderly "Going where?"

"Just... just to the... water closet?" My voice squeaks and I quickly clear it. I'm an adult! I can leave the table to explore, I-I mean monitor and evaluate my surroundings, if I want. His eyes though... Ducking my head, I rub my belly and try not to whine "My stomach... It hurts. I do not think the meal is agreeing with me."

"You've hardly touched-"

"L-L-Last night's meal." Clutching at my gut again, I try to look desperate but not in pain. It is not difficult, as it is true. I do not think I could stomach a session with Oin "Dori. I really need to... Go."

"You do look positively awful, damned elves. They obviously don't know how to feed a dwarf." He frowns deeply and worried and I feel a little cruel for lying so. "Perhaps I should go with-"

"I-I-I can go on my own, Dori!" My face heats in embarrassment as the others catch wind of our conversation. The two princes laugh openly while Nori grins knowingly at my predicament "I-I-"

"Well go on then, lad, but remember to be careful and return straight away." Bolting from my seat, I head for the door with laughter trailing behind me. "And wash your hands!"

"Or do you need your big brother to help you with that too!" Kili taunts at my back. My shoulders hunch over but I do not respond "I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help his sweet little baby brother."

"You need help keeping clean yourself, Kili!" Fili returns, much to his own brother's embarrassment "I have been staring at the same smudge of dirt behind your ear for a month now."

"O-Oi!"

Not bothering to listen any longer I rush from the dining hall. My face burns but I can hardly blame my brother or the princes when I'm the one who came up with such a numbskulled excuse. I'm an adult, older than both Fili and Kili yet... Breathing heavily I turn and punch a pillar with all my might. The column quivers and I watch in surprised horror as a crack forms. Panicking, I turn to flee down the hall only to collide with another person.

"Oh my!" I gasp as the girl, farseer Bloodstone no less, topples over a bush from the force. As she lands out of sight, I come to my senses "Miss? Miss, are you alright?!"

Hiiiiiii! Another chapter down. We'll have maybe two or three more in Rivendell before we get out of this lovely place. Enjoy it while you can