Chapter 27

Even with the sun setting at my back, the Misty Mountain air makes me shiver. The dwarves might not mind but Bilbo mimics my movement, confirming the temperature. We've been marching all day but night will come soon and I'm kind of dreading it. We're going to be sleeping on the side of a mountain, which is as moronic as it is exciting. All it takes is one wrong roll and splat! The adventure is over. Thorin already determined that once we find a wide enough spot, we'd make it our camp for the night but I'm skeptical. Just imagining what we'll do once we get to the places without wide crests is enough to piss me off.

"We will make camp here." Giving the surrounding area a cursory glance as if suspecting the rocks of harboring ill will, the king nods to the rest of the group "Be weary of the ledge."

"It can suffer three to lay a breast." Studying the very edge of the path, Oin stomps his foot on it. Huffing appreciatively when it doesn't crumble, the dwarf begins unpacking "Two should suffice."

"Leaving a bit of room for mistakes, aye brother?"

"Can hardly trust you lot not to roll off, now can I?"

The company chuckles softly before going about their routine. It's stifled due to the limits of the location, but I suppose dwarves are used to it. A few pull out pipes while others settle for conversation or staring into the setting skyline. I think about going to speak with Dwalin but he's having an intense conversation with Thorin and Balin. Bilbo is a no-go too, as he's talking with Dori. I have nothing against the dwarf, I just don't want to be smothered right now. Not opposed to sitting alone until dinner, I aim to do just that until the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. I know what that means... Turning slowly, I rolled my eyes and sigh in exasperation upon coming face-to-face with Fili and Kili.

"Miss-"

"Whatever it is, no."

"You do not even-"

"I don't need to. No."

"If you could-"

"What aren't you getting? No. No. And No once more for good measure." Crossing my forearms to show an 'X' I shake my head "I can deal with Dwalin and I can tolerate Thorin. I can even be a little nice to Bilbo when I want to but you two are not included in my 'make lemonade' plan for life. Now shoo. I said shoo!"

Of course this doesn't work. At all. In fact, it has the exact opposite effect. After shifting expressions from offended to determined, the dwarf pair crouch down and have the nerve to sit beside me. Framed by the duo, with stone at my back and a sheer drop at my front, I have been effectively trapped. Not liking the feeling at all, I turn to the youngest Prince with the purest intention of screaming wordlessly into his face. That'll show him.

"You may yell or shout if you wish but let me apologize first." Just a tad bit taken aback, I'm mostly suspicious. Shifting my eyes to Fili, I find him pretending to ignore us. I suppose this is his brother's fight. I'm just annoyed to be his unwilling opponent "My behavior was-"

"I'm just going to stop you right there. Your behavior mirrored my own. Neither of us... None of us, made this difficult situation any better. If you apologize then I'll have to do the same and quite frankly, I'm not sorry."

"That maybe so but this is about his honor, not your own. Given your experience, more care should have been used." Not looking at us, Fili keeps his eyes on the sky "We were all unkind in our own ways but his hands caused your peace to be upset. He was not given a duty and his initiative caused you distress."

"Are you talking about that first night? The one when Dawlin pulled me off a horse?" The dwarf bounces his head with a grunt and I roll my eyes with a scoff. That was so long ago, I'd almost forgotten "THAT is what this is all about?"

"It is."

"This is unbelievable. So you're going to make Kili apologize for trying to help his ally rather than make Dwalin apologize for actually knocking me out?"

"... Dwalin was given an order. Kili was not."

"That's insane."

"This is beyond and beside the point, Miss- I mean... Farseer Bloodstone." inserting himself back into the conversation, Kili tries to making me see reason. Their reason at least. It's just a bunch of baloney to me "Had we known-"

"There is a lot about me that you do not know. Most of which would have you choking on your sensibilities."

"But-"

"For the love of- We were essentially in battle! You don't worry about your opponent's shortcomings when in battle. It gets you killed. You look out for your own and you hope they don't stab you in the back."

Shrugging I tug my fingers through my hair. Twisting an end, I shrug once more. I know each and every one of them is listening and judging us. But it's different cultures at work that are making this weird. I think. I mean... I suppose back on Earth someone COULD apologize for kidnapping someone- No. No they wouldn't. They would just go to jail. I shrugged for third time

"But we aren't battling anymore. Now we are just walking in the same direction. So don't bother apologizing. I'm not keen on offering any sort of forgiveness either way."

"Is there no way to change your mind?" Frowning at me deeply, Kili shifts forward so we face each other better "No way at all? To endear you to us?"

"Isn't being civil enough? Do we have to be friends?" Returning his frown with one of my own, I present my open palms to the sky "I wasn't the nicest person when we met but I didn't lie. I don't want to be your friend."

"Why not?"

"... Huh?"

"Why not?" From a few dwarves down, Bofur belts out his question loud enough for us to hear. Glaring at him does nothing to wipe the curious look off his face "Why do ye wish to remain at odds with all of us? Is it because we are dwarves?"

"I couldn't care less about what you are." I am many things but I'm not a racist. Dwarf, Elf, Orc. They're all the same to me. Heck even the men around here. I want nothing to do with them. If I have heard a story about them, then I don't want to talk to them "It's not what you are but rather who you are that keeps me away."

"And who are we, if not dwarves?"

"You are the company of Thorin Oakenshield, going on a quest to reclaim Erebor. That's enough to make befriending you a hassle." Shaking my head I tried to word my thoughts in the safest way possible. The clouds are slowly rolling in above us but they're not so dark that I think the rain will come. It will come eventually but I don't think it will come tonight. Nope. Not the rain, but a different storm is brewing "There's no point in getting to know you... getting to like you or getting you to like me. I probably know you better than you know yourself. I've seen enough to know that I don't want to be friends."

"What is that to mean?" Leaning to peer at me from the front of the group, Balin searches my face worriedly. The loose rocks shift on the ground, scraping against each other as everyone further sets their attention to the situation "What has your sight showed you? What has been seen that would harden your heart to us?"

"... You know I have no intention of telling you that." It's not a chastisement but it is a reminder that I'm not going to go spouting off portents and whatnot. Balin nods his understanding but keeps an eye on my face, as does everyone else. I'm expected to say more and I suppose I ought to. I started this conversation, even if I didn't "But.. know that my sister and I share this sight. We disagree on many points."

"What sort of person is she, yer sister seer that she should differ so?"

"She is good and I am not all bad. So what's going to happen is... neither good nor bad. It simply WILL BE. And I just want no part of that."

"Is it... Is it so bad?"

"Ori, I just explained- Uuuuugh. Listen to me. It doesn't matter what Annie and I saw, only how we felt about it. My sister would have loved to be here on this quest. She fell in love with all of you after we experience that... vision."

"And you?" I sigh at Bilbo's question. It reminds me of when he asked if Gandalf bet for or against him showing up "Did you... fall in love?"

"I did not... I was... bored and was simply glad when it was over. I'm not saying you guys aren't doing something good... just that I'm not really invested in it more than I need to be. Anita though... she would have been honored to be here."

Again this is not my finest moment and their frustrated expressions ate tangible without even having to look at them. They are angry and confused. I supposed they have a right to be. The girl who knows your future isn't all that interested in it. That would upset me. But I want to be honest , I don't want them to think more about what I'm going to do here. I don't want them to depend on me. I just want them you need me... want me around. For insurance purposes. For my well-being I need them to need me. Sighing, I pull my legs up to my chest and almost laugh at how everything has turned out. Anita found her salvation in this story and now I have to do the same. I'm not finding it as easy as she did.

"She isn't here though. I am. And you'll all just have to deal with that. With me."

"... We are to travel with one who finds the success of our mission, our very lives... Uninteresting?"

"Seems that way."

"How can you be so selfish?" Pinning me with an angry stare, Fili demands answers "I understand that you have experienced something no woman-"

"And just what the hell do you think you understand about what I have experienced?" The darkness from within my very Soul raises up to bite this miserable creature's head off. The whispered question is more like a hiss as I don't even open my part my teeth to say it. I am livid and it must show on my face as he actually rears back at it. Stumbling over his words he tries to... I don't know what he's trying to do but he's failing "Come on, Fili. Tell me. What do you know about what I've been through?"

"I only meant-"

"Enough."

A hush falls over the group at Thorin's command. His voice easily carries over the space as if guided by the stones at our backs. Turning my eyes, I glance over at him as he stands at the front of the group. He doesn't look at any of us but I can sense the weight of his gaze on the mountain range around us. I suppose it's easy to forget he's a king without the crown... But these regal moments remind us all.

"We have come on this quest to reclaim our lost homeland. Not for fun or out of boredom. Not for trivial pursuits or experience. Not for glory or honor and definitely not to make friends. We come because we must and we will fight to our last breath. We may even very well die." If I liked him a little more, I would probably nod along. He's the only one making sense anymore. Why everyone is so gung-ho on making me accept them is beyond me. Yet it is his next sentence that makes the night a little colder "If Farseer Bloodstone would prefer to face death on her own, that is her choice. The world is cold and death colder but one cannot save a drowning person who does not wish to be saved."

The rest of the evening is quiet. No one tries to talk to me, not even Bilbo. So... I eat my dinner. I crawl into bed. I wait for sleep to take me away from my circumstances. It is no different than any other night... But it is. On this night, as I roll onto my back to count the Stars, I feel so unbelievably lonely... Stupid Thorin