We stood on the top of the hill, waiting for sundown and the undead to come to attack from the castle. This waiting only brought a sense of dread and hopelessness, to me at least. The knights mentioned how receiving the Maker's holy symbol brought a sense of revived hope and protection. This is when I knew that Revas was able to convince Mother Hannah, the priest praying over a group of people in the overcrowded chantry, to lie. I felt better knowing that the knights felt confident enough to beat back the monsters, but not enough to feel confident enough in my abilities. I think some of my companions, mainly Alistair and Brali, noticed that.

"Are you alright?" I hear Alistair's voice call out from behind me, bringing me out of my thoughts while staring out at the distance, the sun's shadow covering the castle in complete darkness.

"Huh?" I turn to look at him, seeing a concerned look on his face. I shake my head and try to put a smile on my face, "I'm fine… just lost in thought."

"About what, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, you know, just the feelings of impending doom about the future," I shrug trying to make light of our situation, and our future situation.

He touched my arm lightly and gave me a small smile, "Everything will be fine, we will succeed."

I blush lightly and a shy smile forms on my face, "I know, still… the undead very much unnerves me."
"If it didn't unnerve you, I would be relying on you to protect me, dear lady," Alistair smirks.

I laugh at that, the blush on my face darkening, "Well, dear sir, I would make poor protection. I'm far too small compared to you."

"Too small?" He is the one to laugh now, a blush settling on his cheeks, "Here I was thinking that I could simply duck behind you and have you cast one of your magic spells to put us in a bubble."

I picture that in my head, a giant warrior hiding behind a tiny mage while a horde of undead comes charging at us. I cover my mouth to not let the loud burst of laughter break through the quietness of everyone else. I simply stare up at him and can only think of how funny he is. I let the blush settle and the smile hurt my cheeks.

This is no longer a character in a game, it is a real, breathing human who is staring at me with a giant smile on his face. I should probably stop this, if there is even a this. Still I should before it goes any further. I know things about this man, that he doesn't even know that I know. It feels wrong to even consider something with him, I'll never even be able to fully open up to him. Not without worrying that he thinks I'm a demon. He could understand, but… what if he doesn't? He will no longer trust me. God, I need to talk to Revas about this. I know I have said this before, but if we are going to tell them, it is going to have to be soon before something becomes far too deep.

The sun is finally down and the smile on my face is no longer there. The worry is back, albeit a different worry added, and I can tell it shows on my face. Alistair's smile leaves his face and he goes to say something before there is screaming from down in the village.

A fog starts rolling in over the hill and settles into the village center below. Watching across the bridge from a distance is a green fog. It is rolling towards us from all angles at an impressive speed. Anxiety settles in my stomach and I watch as Alistair runs to stand with the knights, Revas, Adalwin, Sten, and Brali. The archers, Leliana, Morrigan, Bean and I stand in the back. I nervously grasp my staff until my knuckles are white. Morrigan looks bored and lets a fire spell dance in between her fingers. I try to remember the lessons she has been giving me on offensive magic, reluctance on her side of course, and ready a fire spell to shoot at the incoming monsters. I try to take a deep breath and remember that we have to succeed or else the Blight will overcome us all.

The battle felt like it dragged on for hours. Every time we seemed to make a minor dent in their numbers, ten more would appear out of nowhere. Bean would mostly stay close to me, making sure that none of the monsters would get too close to me. I could feel my mana slowly diminish with each spell that was cast, healing or otherwise. I had a lyrium potion on my belt waiting, singing, to be used to replenish what little mana I had. I hesitated, knowing that there was the potential to become addicted to such a substance. I look out of the side of my eye to see Morrigan down a potion, going from looking sickly pale to a much healthier pale. The damage her magic seemed to do doubled after the potion.

The sweat on my brow felt like a burning fire, I reached a shaking hand to the potion and pop the cork off of the top. I bring the potion up to my lips and take a hesitant swig of the potion. It felt like a rush of cool water was soothing a burning fire in my body. The feeling of revitalization and more power rushed through my fingertips. I doubled the efforts of healing and casting fire and ice spells.

A man comes running up, shouting for half of us to follow him as they were attacking the chantry with nearly double the numbers of the militia. I shared a quick nod with Revas and followed Alistair, Brali, and Adalwin down towards the town center. Bean barking loudly behind me, his stomping paws follow me.

Finally, the battle was over. The early whisper of morning's breath raised over the castle ahead. The onslaught of monsters finally dissipated enough for us to get a foothold and defeat the last of them. Those who were still alive started to gather the bodies to burn. I walked towards the fire in the middle, just in front of the chantry, and started trying to identify those we have lost. I stare at the body of one soldier and feel my blood run cold. When has this become my life? When did I become so desensitized to dead bodies that I no longer feel anything when looking at one? God, I have been in survival mode for so long that I seem to have become this emotionless husk of a human being. I should be vomiting and hyperventilating over this. I should be feeling something.

Now more than ever I want to go home. I want to go back to my life. I want the only thing to be worried about is my homework due the next day, not if I am going to survive the next fight. I want to have a fucking shower for God's sake. I don't want to bathe in a freezing river or lake along the road. I want to hear my dad's voice, I want to hug my mom, and I want to argue with my sister. I want everything I lost back. I want to cuddle with the dog my family just adopted. I'm tired of fighting and arguing with everyone over a simple decision. I want to go back to this just being a game that I can turn off and come back to when I like. I don't want magic and I don't want to be an elf, I want to be my boring plain Jane human self. I let out a frustrated sigh as I felt the tears in my eyes form. I walk away from the crowd forming in front of the chantry to listen to Bann Teagan's speech. I could care less about hearing about who they lost. I want a second to wallow in self-pity and not have anyone look at me differently because I am a Grey Warden and I have bigger fish to fry.

The dock is quiet and serene, the perfect place to have the little rain cloud over my head turn into a thunderstorm. I huff and sit down. My legs dangle over the dock and the front of my leather boots not even grazing the murky water below. I hear Bean come up beside me and put his head in my lap. Not even looking at him with blurry eyes, I let my hand rest on his head and barely pet him.

I don't know how long I was here for, but it must have been a while because footsteps are walking towards me.

"You missed the bann's speech." Revas speaks from behind me.

I snort, "I could probably summarize it."

He sits next to me and looks at me warily, "What is up with you? You've been more on edge recently."

"It's all the lying we've been doing," I let out a piece of what was happening and glanced at him. "We need to tell them."

He shakes his head, "I don't think we should."

"Why? I can't stand all this lying, it's tearing me up inside," I focus back on the rippling waters of the lake. It is curious how a scene can be so calming and serene, but feel so suffocating at the same time.

He lets out a sigh and rubs his face, "How do we know that they won't kill us immediately? Especially you. And no offense you're not exactly the strongest fighter."

I feel frustration building in my stomach. I know I'm weak, but I've been getting stronger.

I just can't handle the deceit anymore. I argue back, "Then I'd rather die telling the truth rather than not."

Revas grunts frustrated, "Whatever."

We sit in silence for a minute, the frustration simmering before dying out completely. The urge to apologize crosses my mind, but I ignore it. I'm not going to keep defending myself against him.

"I am not built for this world," I admit softly, the words nearly getting lost in the gentle breeze.

"What do you mean?"

I shake my head, "This world is made for those who fight to survive every minute of their life. It is made for stronger people, people who are used to seeing death and fighting. The only fighting I have seen is through a screen."

"Ah…"

My arms wrap around myself, "I don't even know who I am anymore. Am I Caerlion the college student or Caerlion the Grey Warden?"
Revas nods, "I understand. I can barely remember anything from before Thedas."

This causes me to look at him, "You've forgotten?"

"I was only fourteen when I arrived here. So whatever my life was before, it is a distant memory."

"Are you not upset?"

"What is there to be upset about?" He questions, looking at me strangely.

I respond in kind, a strange look on my face, "You've lost everything?

He merely shrugs, his brown eyes making way back to the lake, "What is there to miss when you don't remember it."

I nod silently, letting my eyes travel to the lake as well. Revas and I sit in silence for a few more moments before we're called back by Leliana. We head to the cliff overlooking Redcliffe village, just by the windmill. I stare over at the castle once again, the sun shining brightly over the roof. The castle, now inhibited by demons and the walking dead, holds a dark presence over the village. Bann Teagan comes to stand next to me, he has a hardened look on his face as he contemplates what to say to our merry little group.

"Odd how quiet the castle looks from here," He finally says after a few moments of silence. I look over to see him already looking at me, a sad smile on his face. "You would think that it had been abandoned for centuries."

I give him a half-hearted smile, "Those are the best kind of castles in my opinion."

Teagan lets out a small huff, "I'd have to disagree." He shakes his head before turning to face the rest of our group. His face was more stern than before, "I shouldn't delay any longer; I had a plan to… enter the castle. After things had quieted in the village."

Adalwin in his usual gruffness huffed while Brali gave the blond dwarf beside her a frustrated look. Revas and I make brief eye-contact before Teagan continues, "There is a secret passage within the mill that connects to the castle. It was to only be accessed by my family."

Adalwin mutters under his breath, obviously feeling frustrated that this was kept secret, "That is convenient, I wonder why he never told us before."

I turned my head to the dwarven man, my voice quick, "How could he have trusted us to stay with him if we knew about the passage?"

Teagan hesitates before responding, "The lady is right, master dwarf. We needed help and if I told you about the passage, nothing would have stopped you from leaving. I could not risk you leaving the village. We were in dire need of-"

He looks, his eyes wide and his voice is breathless as he points over Brali's head, "Maker's breath!"

We all turn to see a woman and a guard sprinting towards us. The woman has golden blonde hair done up in a braided bun. She is wearing a red dress with ivory and green accents and lacing across the bodice. She has striking blue eyes and is very pretty. Her voice is light, but littered with stress as she shouts with an Orleasian accent, "Teagan! Thank the Maker, you live!"

My eyes glance over to Alistair to see him looking anywhere, but at the woman. His amber eyes flittering over to the mill with piqued interest, if it weren't for her accent this confirms that this is Isolde. I look back over to see both Isolde and Teagan embracing, his eyes still widened in shock, "Isolde! You're alive! How did you…? What has happened!"

She breaks away from the hug, her eyes wide and her voice shaky, "I do not have much time to explain. I slipped away from the castle as soon as I saw the battle was over, and I have to return quickly." She looks over to the side, her eyes glancing to the castle as if she was being watched. "And I… need you to return with me. Alone, Teagan."

I finally interject, stepping forward, "Teagan, you cannot go to the castle."

Isolde's face pinches together as she turns to look at me, her blue eyes dragging over my form, "Teagan, who is this woman?"

Alistair sighs, stepping to stand beside me, "You remember me, don't you, Lady Isolde?"

Her face becomes even more tight as he gathers her attention, her voice tight, "Alistair? Of all the… why are you here?"

Teagan speaks, his voice calm but short, "They are Grey Wardens, Isolde. They saved the village. I owe them my life."

Her face loses all of its tenseness and is replaced by worry as she looks at me, "Pardon me… I would exchange pleasantries, but with the circumstances."

Alistair steps in, "Forgive us, Lady Isolde, we just need more information. We had assumed everyone was dead within the castle."

She shakes her head, "I know you need more answers, but I cannot offer any." Her eyes find Teagan's again. "Teagan, there is a terrible evil in the castle. It only allowed me, but a few moments to escape. You must come back with me, for Connor's sake, he will not leave! You can reason with him."

Brali pipes up, the dwarven woman crossing her arms, "I suppose that is why Teagan must go alone?"

Isolde nods, her eyes filling with unshed tears, "I promised it I would return with Teagan and quickly."

Teagan looks at Isolde, "Where did this thing come from, Isolde?"

"The mage unleashed something and it has only allowed Eamon, Connor, and myself to live. The mage was captured after the dead started to wake, but it still continues. I think that whatever he unleashed is some sort of retribution for being captured." She begins saying before tears start rolling down her face, "Teagan, please! I do not know how much time I have. It might think I am betraying it. What if it kills Connor? Please come back with me, must I beg?"

Revas shakes his head, "Enough of the questions, we have to decide what to do."

Teagan nods, agreeing with Revas, "The king is dead, and we need my brother now more than ever. I will go with you, Isolde."

She lets out a choked sob, her hands coming together, "Oh, bless the Maker! Bless you, Teagan! Bless you!"

I shake my head and rub my hands on my face, turning away from the group. I know he needs to go, but knowing what I know makes the wish to stop him even stronger. Revas seems to be on the same wavelength as me, he lets out a long sigh and crosses his arms. Displeasure is strong in his eyes. Adalwin seems to be the only one to voice his displeasure, "If only you had more choices."

Teagan's face hardens as he stares down at the Adalwin, "I am under no illusion of what I am doing. And I do not need permission to do so. I cannot let Isolde return alone. Perhaps there might be a chance that I could help Connor or Eamon. Perhaps it really is a trap, however, this is my family. I must try whatever I can."

I nod and turn back to look at Teagan, "We understand."

He nods and turns to look back at Isolde, "Isolde, will you excuse us for a moment? We must confer in private before I am to return to the castle with you."

She nods hesitantly, "Please do not take too long; I will be waiting at the bridge for you."

As Isolde walks away with the guard, Teagan turns back to our group. His voice is hushed and his face is painted with stress, "This is what I propose. I go into the front with Isolde, and you and your party enter the castle through the passageway." He hands me a signet ring, his hands clasping over mine in a sense of urgency, "This key will open the passageway. Perhaps I will distract whatever manner of beast is in the castle and increase your chances of getting in undetected. What do you say?"

I nod in understanding. I look at my fellow Wardens to gather their reactions, seeing mixed emotions, I simply nod and turn back to Teagan, "We understand."

"Then I cannot delay any longer. Whatever you do, Eamon is the priority. Everyone else is expendable. If you must, get him out of there." He smiles as he looks at me and squeezes my hand gently, "You are a good woman, the Maker smiled on me indeed when He sent you to me."

Teagan heads towards Isolde. We watch as they begin to make their way up to the castle. The reality of what is about to happen comes crashing down on me. I feel all of my nerves alight and a cold feeling runs over me. Revas and I look at each other. I can see the disagreement in his eyes as we hold a silent battle. I finally decided to speak, "We need to decide who is going to go into the castle."

Revas shakes his head and turns away from the group. Alistair pipes up, confusion littering his face, "Wouldn't it be best if all of us go to the castle?"

I shake my head and respond as evenly as my nerves will allow me, "No, some of us need to head to the Circle."
Leliana steps forward as well, her eyebrows are furrowed, "Why do we need to go to the Circle? The castle should be our first priority."

I hesitate to respond, looking at Revas who simply nods towards me. I steal my breath and respond quietly, "We need the mages for a ritual to defeat the demon possessing Connor. And to get the mages, we need to defeat the demons inhabiting the tower. That is why we need to decide who is going to the Circle and who is staying here."

Adalwin looks suspicious, his blue eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed. Sten, Brali, Alistair, and Leliana all have the same expression. Morrigan is the only out of the group, besides Revas, to seem unphased by what is happening. Sten reaches his hand back for his greatsword seemingly preparing for me to turn into an abomination, however Adalwin is the only to speak for the group, "And how do you know that?"

Revas butts in, sensing the distrust that is forming, "We will discuss this tonight. Let's make camp."

Revas stands in front of me and leads us to the outskirts of Redcliffe village. After the camp is set up and everyone has relaxed, I sit in my tent going over what I want to say. The cold ground and Bean laying beside my side assists in making me feel centered, but the nerves come in when the flap of my tent opens up. Morrigan walks in and stands staring down at me. The way she looks closely at me, her usually pinned up hair is flowing loosely down her shoulders. She tsked slightly before speaking to me, "When Mother told me that you were not from Thedas and had all of this unforeseen knowledge of the times ahead, I expected you to be more impressive."

I sit in shock, my mouth opening and closing repeatedly before some semblance of words escapes my mouth, "Flemeth told you…?"

"'Tis true then, no?" Morrigan shook her head in disbelief, "If I am to be completely honest, I thought this to be another one of her fantasies."

Still shocked, my hand comes up to my face and covers my mouth as I stare at her. I continued to listen to her talk, "'Tis most unimpressive of you to just stare at me like a fool."

"I'm just shocked, Morrigan. You've known this entire time?" Morrigan merely responds with a nod and I shake my head in response before standing up. "Why have you not told anyone? This could have been excellent blackmail."

Her face twists up in a scowl and she crosses her arms, "It is not my secret to tell and I am no heartless being. You obviously had some reason to keep this secret, so I was content to wait until you spoke of it yourself." She gets a slight amused look in her piercing eyes, "Besides, it was most amusing watching you squirm."

"Of course it was," I merely responded with a breathless annoyance and slight scowl on my face before exiting my tent. I can see everyone sitting around the fire looking at me with mistrust in their eyes and on their faces. The unease in my stomach comes back full force and I stop outside my tent. My hands fall together, twisting and turning themselves, a cold sweat goes down my neck as the realization that any trust I might have built with these people could be destroyed in the span of four words. My life might also become forfeit due to the principle of me being a mage. I see Revas on the other edge of camp, the same look of worry in his eyes.

"I'm not from Thedas."

The words escape me breathlessly. I can feel my breath quicken as I see the looks of confusion cross over everyone's face. Before anyone can get the chance to respond, my mouth opens again and words start tumbling out of me, "I don't know how I ended up here, all I know is I went to sleep and all of a sudden I woke up to templars standing over me. And the reason I know that Connor is possessed by a demon is because this world is a…" I hesitate, thinking on how I should describe the only world they've ever known, "A fictional place. A place I have… explored multiple times? And I am so sorry that I didn't tell any of you, but I couldn't be sure that none of you wouldn't just kill me thinking that I was possessed by some demon."

Silence.

That is the only thing I hear, or don't hear. I don't know what is worse, everyone sitting in silence or the fact I was hoping everyone would start screaming at me. I barely glance at Alistair, but the look on his face is utter betrayal and devastation. My heart breaks even further knowing that this is just the beginning of what is about to happen. Sten stands quickly drawing his sword, "Basra! Meravas katara."

He charges towards me, the greatsword reflecting the fire that stands in the way between us. In a flash all of the training that I have been doing with Morrigan comes to me in a flash and my hands flow towards the fire. I whip the flames towards me and feel the heat barely grazing the tops of my palms. I create a small ring of fire around Sten causing him to stop, his breath heaving and a wild look is in his eyes. The flames dance off of his grey skin, giving it a sort of warmth. My voice is stronger than it was before, "I am not your enemy, Sten!"

"Basra! Do not speak to me!" Sten shouts back at me, I barely noticed that everyone else has stood. Their hands twitching towards their various weapons. Revas has come to stand next to me muttering under his breath about how this was a bad idea. I feel the frustration from earlier heat back up as I give him a small glare, Revas' sword is unsheathed and having the same glow from the fire. Morrigan still stands behind me, the tinkling of the frost spell she has conjured is barely heard over the crackle of my flames. Finally, Bean is hunched over growling, ready to pounce on the hornless Qunari.

"I know where your missing sword is, Sten. I can help you get it back," I plead, hoping to bring the tension back down to the coolness of the night. The flames dance higher as my anxiety rises as I see everyone begin to unsheath their various weapons. As I shout the flames rise higher, nearly reaching the top of Sten's head, "Will everyone put their fucking weapons away!?"

My breathing is heavy and I watch as everyone jumps back from the rising flames. Their weapons drop and the flames drop just as the thunk of the weapons hit the hard dirt. Sten's hardened face has dropped slightly as he finally registers what I have said about his missing sword. He finally speaks, his voice low, "How do you know about that, Bas?"

"It's the reason you murdered that farmer's family. They didn't have your sword and you cannot return to the Qunari without your sword."

"Where is it then?"

"In Redcliffe, with the dwarf… Dwyn, I think?" I quickly say, hoping to calm him fully. Sten merely hums, his eyes still suspicious of my words. He finally sheaths his sword and stands up straight.

"If you're lying, I will kill you."

"Understandable," I mutter, ice freezing my veins as I stare at the campfire. The cracking fire has become embers and the grass surrounding Sten has become black. I nod to myself before walking into the forests surrounding Redcliffe. I sit on a fallen log branch and take deep breaths, hoping to calm my racing heart. I hear leaves and twigs crunching behind me, I don't turn not wanting to face whoever is coming up behind me.

"Is this what you were trying to tell me in the Tower of Ishal?" The voice sends my heart racing again. Alistair. I feel as he sits on the log next to me, the warmth of his arm dancing across my skin.

"Yes…" I whisper, the memories of that night racing through my head. "Before you ask, Duncan knew… he was the first person I told."

"Did he know he was going to die?"

I can only nod, the guilt of not being able save both him and Cailan finally breaking the invisible barrier in my head. I turn my face away from Alistair as I feel the tears well in my eyes. My voice breaks slightly, "I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen. I had hoped that things would change if I told him, but they didn't."

"Was anything you said even real?" Alistair mutters, I can feel his eyes on me and I turn to look at him. His face is blank, but I can see small amounts of pain in his eyes. I can feel my face crumble further.

"It was all real." I don't know what I am pleading for. Him not to hate me? To not distrust me? To know everything I said and how I felt was real?

His voice was shaky as he responded, "How am I supposed to trust you? I mean you apparently know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."

"What do you want me to say, Alistair? That I feel guilty about everything I said to you knowing what I know? I do, Alistair. I battle with that every time we talk, knowing how you make me feel and having to deal with the realization that there is this weird power imbalance between us?" I feel the tears rolling down my face as I continue to talk, "None of this is supposed to be real! You're not supposed to be real! None of you are... but you are and this world is!"

Alistair freezes and I stand from the log furiously wiping the tears from my face, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Alistair, you didn't deserve that. But I have lost everything I have known in the span of roughly a month. You can trust me and you must know that everything I said to you has been the wholehearted truth. Hell you can ask me anything you want to know!"

I look down at him and watch as his mouth falls open and closed. Finally he stands and my eyes trail up to his. His voice is shaky as he speaks, "I need time… Time to learn to trust you again. This is all too new to me. This changes everything for me."

My eyebrows furrow against my wide eyes. "You can trust me though…" I begin to say before closing my eyes, "I understand."

There is a silence that passes as we look at each other before I give him a small smile and head back towards camp. I know everyone else needs a similar explanation from me, and possibly Revas if he's decided to confess to everyone else.