Not Helpless by WyldClaw

Plot: . This is the second part of my Not Truly Broken and Not Helpless two shot AAML fanfic .. It's set when Misty goes into the woods getting firewood in Not Truly Broken and she ends of breaking down. Misty's point of view. -AAML-Ash and Misty Love- . I own nothing except for The Collector/Lawrence's last name. () is translated Pokespeech , italics are thoughts, and " " are humans talking. beware Spoilers for P2K II: Lawrence's Revenge. Enjoy!

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I gulped as i walked away from the clearing where my boyfriend Ash and Pikachu were sitting on an old tree trunk stump into the forest. My palms were sweating and I was surprised I didn't drop Cyndaquil's Pokeball. Get a grip Misty.. they'll be fine…nothing's going to happen to them. they'll be fine…nothing's going to happen to them. I was worried about leaving them alone in the forest considering what had happened the last time I'd gone off into a forest alone mere days ago. I stopped every few feet to gaze back to the clearing a few times before resuming my walk until the woods swallowed them up . Oh Mew.. I hope they'll be okay. Granted I did leave Corsola with them. if something bad happens,, I'm sure he'll let her out and she'd come and get me .. i f I bit my lip - a bad habit i subconsciously picked up from Ash.

With each step I took, the immense feelings that had been increasing ever since I saw my new boyfriend lose it grew. Memories of past few days's events seems to bounce around in my head. I stopped walking as the memories washed over me like a gigantic Surf attack and I felt my felt drowning in them :

Our fights both in the forest and at the Cerulean City Gym, his kidnapping. My feelings of utter hopelessness during some of those events-like discovering Lawrence had himthe threats by the psychotic Lawrence Le Villiyon II to my life , Psyduck - of all my Pokemon -saving my life and evolving just for me. Giovanni entering the whole situation and making it worse. Lawrence threatening Ash multiple times and destorying his hat . Seeing that vicious heartless Persian ready to end my life . Persian's beyond horrendous attack on Pikachu, Pikachu's unforeseen evolution, Charizard saving Togepi and I ,

Raichu taking the Giovanni's bullet meant for my crush.

The feeling and memories seemed to smother me until I couldn't take it anymore .

I fell to the ground on my knees, feeling tears fall from my eyes , I don't know how long I silently cried for, I didn't want to admit to the boys but I felt helpless watching Ash break down. I also felt the same feeling when he' and I had been used as hostages by Giovanni and Lawrence. He'd been though utter nightmare-ish hell. I wanted to help him heal but.. I didn't know how. " I feel so helpless.. I wish I-I c-could do s-something to h-help him h-h-heal. ." I said between sobs.

I wiped away a tear with my sleeve. I nearly jumped five feet into the air like I'd been touched by a Ghost Type Pokemon when a bright white light came from one of my Pokeballs on my belt. It formed into my Golduck next to me. "Psy-"I stopped and corrected myself. " Err G-Golduck! H-how many times do i have to tell you n-not tp do that.."

(Sorry.. force of habit. ) He looked around and then at my tear streaked face.

Without saying a word, his red forehead jewel glowed and I looked up and saw a blue transparent bubble appear about two feet in front of us . "Wh-what's this?"

(Protect. ) He paused, shuffling his webbed hands. ( I ..overheard you crying and I .. thought you needed some private time.)

I sniffled. "Th-Thanks.."

(What happened?)

Wiping my tears from my face, I took a deep breath and told him in a small voice between crying about how Ash's realization about the past few day's events. ".. The hurt l-look on his face when he saw the w-wounds from the rope on his arms.. it b-broke my heart. He's suffered through so much at the the hands of those two inhumane men in so little time. I l-love him with all my heart and seeing him like that , I felt so helpless..I wish i could do something for him.." Tears rolled down my face and i didn't even wipe them away this time.

(You're not hopeless Misty. ) Golduck told me patting me on my shoulders. ( You got through to me and over powered the voice in my head. I heard strength in your words. How you protective held Psyduck-me in your arms and called me brave to take him on despite-)

"Being totally and utterly terrified out of my wits of L-Lawrence?" I finished.

He nodded. ( Yeah.. Calling me b-brave that gave me the strength and courage to save 't say you're helpless 'cause you're not. ) He paused for a minute as if thinking. ( I know you feel helpless about helping Ash heal.. but it's a battle he has to face on his own. He has to learn to to not get stuck reliving some of those events-) he stopped. i felt my body shake. Did he mean Giovanni blackmailing Pikachu by threatening Ash's life? The Persian's brutal attack on the Electric type? The threats to Ash and my lives? Lawrence cutting his back? Did he know about the gunshot? About how Raichu had mysteriously been saved and de-evolved? The Water Type Pokemon put a cool webbed hand on my shoulder . looked at me and nodded, confirming my thoughts as if he' read them . ( I know about it… about most of of it. )

"H-How did you know? " I squeaked out .

He shrugged his shoulders. ( Don't know.. I'm still getting used to my new powers. You know, you can't blame yourself for being unable to help. Think about it. You were either trapped or too stunned to do anything in the moment. Besides .. you weren't totally helpless- Togepi and I protected you )

I looked up at the blue Water Type Pokemon and thought about that . It was true that when Lawrence had me captive and Giovanni was threatening me I had been too terrified to react . But the two Pokemon had gone to my defense-not once but twice. A smile appeared on my face. "Yeh.. you guys did. "

(I know it's hard but you have to let Ash and Pikachu heal on their own. I know it kills you to see your boyfriend-) Golduck smirked as my face flushed the color of a Moltres' wing for a feel seconds-the whole concept that my secret crush was now my boyfriend-was still new to me. (They may not want to fight it some days and just give in .. but that's where you come in. You can still help them by reminding them of good times and t there are things worth fighting for . Remind Ash that he can't give up hope and let.. them win . )

I looked at him, amazed at his deep insight. " How did you get so thoughtful and wise?"

He smiled. (Evolution how else …) He gazed down and I saw Cyndaquil's Pokeball shaking in my hand. ( I think she wants to say something. Do you feel good enough that I can stop using Protect?)

"Thinks so. Thanks . " I nodded and his red forehead jewel stopped glowing as the Protect bubble vanished. I raised my right hand into the air and threw the Pokeball, crying out. "Misty calls Cyndaquil!"

The Pokeball split open in midair and a burst of white energy came out and formed into the Ash's small, bipedal mammalian like Pokémon as the Pokeball flew back to my hand. As soon as the Fire type Pokemon formed, she lit up her back flame throwing light into the slowly darkening surroundings. (Hi Misty..hi Psy-err Golduck.) She looked around and saw my tear stained face and lowered her voice. (I.. overheard what you were saying from my Pokeball. ) she said so quietly Goldduck and I had to sit down next to her to hear her. (I'm sorry you're going through those feelings.)

I nodded. " Yeah.."

She looked up at me. ( I… went through something similar wh-when I w-was l-little. ) Her voice wobbled . Golduck and I looked at her-she never talked about her past. ( I.. lost s-someone I loved v-very much to -) she shivered as if remembering something or something very awful to someone very bad. I f-felt like a total empty shell of myself. S-someone found me and brought me to a Pokemon Center to heal.. but I refused to talk about it, eat and only drank a little. I felt so hollow and felt it was my fault. The Chansey and Nurse Joy who treated me s-said it was nobody's fault and the great cycle of life works in mysterious ways. ) She paused for a few minutes to get her breath. ( They said I had to tell myself to do things like eat, drink and move on and talk about it .Th-this .. someone I lost wouldn't want to seem me like that. I took those words to hear. And although the heartache and pain eventually went to a dull ness I had to take it one day at a time. I told Nurse Joy what h-h-happened. when I got released sometimes I'd look up at the star filled sky and talk out my feelings . )

She paused for a minute or two to get her breath back. Then she looked down as she shuffled her front paws . ( I kinda wish i had someone to talk about it . I .. didn't really have any friends until Ash caught me .…)

Golduck whistled . ( whoa. I feel bad for you Cyndaquil…)

"I'm sorry you had to endure that pain but I seems like you came out stronger from it ) That's pretty deep advice Cyndaquil . " I remarked as i got up to my full height . .

She blinked and smiled . ( Thanks Misty. )

"I'm going to take your advice. I've got to get it through to Ash that none of what happened is his fault and see if I -I - " I choked back a sob " c-can get him to talk about and help him move past .. what happened . "

( I think that will help him. ) The Fire Type nodded .

As she did, I noticed in the light of her back flame for the first time how long our shadows had gotten and how dark my surroundings were becoming. It had also gotten colder .I shivered and bit my lip .oh no.. how long have we been out here? Are the guys still okay?Did someone sent by him find them? Oh Mew ..why did i stay away from them? Why did i break down and cry for that long ?

Golduck looked over at me , somehow sensing my thoughts . (Uh Misty? ) he asked, his voice jolting me back to reality.

" H-huh?" I asked.

( Shouldn't we get some fire wood and get back to Ash and Pikachu..before it gets darker ? ) He looked at me and I knew his last four words translated into 'before one of Giovanni's grunts Team Rocket underlings find them. '

I nodded. " Y-Yeah.. w-we should . Come on you two. Let's . " I said trying to keep my voice steady.

…

Soon enough we had collected lots of fire wood with the aide of Cyndaquil's Swift attack and Golduck's water attacks and psychic based powers. In fact after watching Cyndaquil use Swift a few times , he tried out the attack . I was impressed with his attempt. That's pretty impressive. " Wow Golduck .. I'm impressed." I voiced my thought. He gave me a thumbs up.

(Thanks. )

We had started walking back when I cleared my throat. "Hey you two.. " they looked up at me. " I want want to thank you for.. helping me out in the forest. " I lowered my voice . " I .. needed that.. "

(It's.. understandable ) Golduck said. (your and his world has changed forever and its going to take major readjustment considering what happened. They'll both need support and that's where you come in. )

( You just have to take it day by day. ) Cyndaquil added.

I smiled. "Thanks. "

We walked in silence until we reached the edge of the forest and near the clearing where Ash and Pikachu were. I stopped as I felt tears prick my eyes when I heard my boyfriend cry. Keep it together Misty. Stay strong. keep it together. I heard him tearily tell his first Pokemon, ""Y-You're the strongest , most strong willed , st-strong hearted Pokemon I -I know.."

Golduck looked at me and then said as we and the enormous pile of firewood floating in midair, stepped back into the clearing (I second that. )

I met Ash's tear streaked eyes and he knew I'd been crying in the forest . "I agree ." I said as we came up to them . i wiped my face with my sleeve again,.

( Same here. You're really strong Pikachu. both in power and in heart.) Cyndaquil remarked.

"You g-guys feel much better now?" I asked , their tear streaked faces and they nodded.

"Mist.. Your face" my bofriend gaze up to my streaked face concern in his voice.

I turned to Golduck and Cyndaquil. "Uh, c-can you two set up the campfire and then check around the perimeter of the clearing?"

They looked at us and nodded, understanding . (Sure thing. ) Cyndaquil answered.

(No problem ) added Golduck and the two Pokemon walked away. I went over and sat next to my boyfriend.

After a few seconds of awkward silence he commented , "It h-hit you too… wh-while you were in the forest."

I nodded . "Y-Yeah.." I stated quietly. "I.. nearly lost you twice and … I couldn't bear it if - if.."

(You never saw him again and you never told each other how much you love each other?) Pikachu ended and grinned as our faces turned bright tomato-red for a few second .

" .. Yeah. " I admitted. "I felt terrified on the airship . "

" We all were but.. the fact that you got through to Psy-err Golduck and got him to believe in himself was amazing. " Ash pointed out. "

I wiped my face with my sleeve. "It was, wasn't it?" I wiped his face with my tee shirt and gave him a huge kiss. Time seemed to stop

"Wow.. just wow.." he said in a daze a few minutes later.

"Feel better?" I asked

Ash nodded."Yes. All we needed was a good cry.. " his stomach yowled loudly-a sound I was all too familiar with . " Now.. when's dinner gonna be ready? "

Pikachu and I groaned at the same time . (Oh for the love of Mew.)

"You and your appetite .." I shook my head but privately I was pleased. He hadn't really had much breakfast or lunch that day. The other night, he was so concerned about Pikachu-well then Raichu-he hadn't really touched his dinner. I had to give him some crackers from the Pokemon Center's vending machine- which he inhaled- in order to give him something to eat. If he's asking about food, he must be slowly starting to get back to normal.. or what gonna pass for normal now, I thought.

I smiled. "Hold your Shiny Ponytas.. I'll get fire going with Cyndaquil's help and then get the ramen soup going."

XXX time change XXX time change"

Pretty soon we had ramen soup for dinner-i made sure to give Ash a bigger portion than my own-and Pokemon had their own meals. Golduck was on guard duty. I saw the teen sitting on the ground next to Pikachu a little distance sway from me. I noticed the same sad look that had been in his eyes earlier had returned and his hands trembled.

Not again ..… I thought as I observed him staring at the small tube of healing cream for Pikachu Nurse Joy had given him before we left the Pokemon center in one shaking hand. He seemed to be hesitant about opening it. Tears threatened to spill out of his dark brown eyes again that day. My heart broke for him again - those scars on the yellow small Pokemon obviously brought back memories of his absolute torture on the airship and whatever had happened last night in the Pokemon Center .

. The injured yellow mouse's gazed ping-ponged from his best human friend/ trainer's eyes to the tube in his shaky hand and back looked at him. (Y-you don't have to do this Ash.. Not while it's still fresh in your mind- and not after that .. breakdown ) he said quietly. In the quiet still air, his words seemed magnified and all the other Pokemon looked at him.

the teen teen shook his head-, tripping over the words as if stumbling over tons of rocks on a rocky path at night. . "I..I d-do. It's the o-only way those.. scars w-won't get infected … the cream's g-g-g-gonna make go away. But I ….I .. c-c-can't". his trembling voice echoing in the quiet small clearing as he dropped the tube onto the earth. he doesn't want to see the scars that psychopathic monster gave him and relive them in his memories .

Togepi tugged at my jeans. (Mommy?)

I looked away from my boyfriend-grateful for the distraction and looked down at the little Pokemon. He looked up at me, a sad look on his usually happy face. "Hmm?"

(Is D-Daddy sad cause of what happened wecently with those two men?…)

I choked back a sob and nodded as I patted his head. "yes..Togepi. " I said in a near whisper.

(Poor Daddy.. He's been through so much..I wish i could use Metronome to make his bad memories an' sadness go away. Or send those two mean far far away. ) His face brightened up a bit. (Or make those two fo-gets all 'bout Daddy. )

I gave him a slight smile and picked him up to hug him and a happy look came back onto his face. "I wish you could too. It would make our live much easier. But that's a lot of power you're talking about and you're still little. Plus you never know what kind of attack will show up with Metronome. .." I paused to put him down. " But maybe you can help cheer him up.. It's hard to sad sad looking at your happy little face. "

His face lit up . (That's a great idea Mommy. I'm gonna comfort Daddy.) he said and walked over to his 'adopted' father. That's my little guy.

I got up and went over to sit next to them. "Hey .."

Ash and Pikachu looked up at me. " Hey.."

"It's hitting you again… The memories .."

He nodded. " Yeah.. I don't know if i can do this .. I know I'll freeze up when …"

(He sees my scars again. )Pikachu finished. (just like when he saw his own scars from that… inhumane power hungry.). his fur fluffed up and his electrical sacks started sparking. (cold hearted mon-) But his words got cut off by a cry pain. (Ahhh!)

Ash ,Togepi and I looked over at the mouse concerned and his electrical sacks stopped sparking and his fur went back to normal . We spoke at the same time as the other Pokemon looked over at the sound:

" Pikachu.. what's wrong pal?"

"What's the matter?)

( What's wong?)

(It's that Mew-dammed Persian of .. his. H-He p-punctured one of my electrical sacks pretty deeply and the scars on my face he gave me almost go through it. I can't use my element. )

" Oh pal… " The tears were welling up in his eyes again.

(I know it's gonna really be bad for me.. but I have to take it slow until it heals.) he looked up at his trainer. (I know you don't want to put the cream on me cause you don't want to relive the memories . but the healing process has to start somewhere.)

(That's twue. ) Togepi pointed out . ( an' soon enough you'll be back to yourself. )

The mouse Pokemon nodded . ( yup.)

"I…"

"I'-ll do it.." I picked up the tube from the ground.

"Mist.. y-you s-sure?"

I nodded snd squeezed his hand my my free hand . "It' s gonna take a while for you guys to from those memories and that experience . I know it hit us earlier today. you just have to take it one little baby step at a time. "

(Daddy.. you gotta be stwong and take it one day at a time . ) Togepi added and patted Ash's jeans .( Please Daddy?) he looked up at him.

He looked up at Ash and i saw his sad facial expression started to slip away. ( I know you can do it. You an' Pikachu will be back to yourself soon)

"He's got a good point."

Ash stroked Togepi's head. "I guess.. but w-wh-what if when the scars from our bodies leave .. the m-memories haunt me during the days or nights haunt us? "

All of the other Pokemon looked as Noctowl glided on silent wings over to her trainer. and landing on a branch nearby As if this were an unspoken signal ,they followed her and sat down around him. He looked like a little lost boy as he looked up, taking us all in "H-H-Hey guys.. "

( If that happens.. you won' t be alone.. we're all here for you ) Noctowl said. (A Pokemon's duty is to protect their trainer from harm …)

( Yup even if we can't see the harm… ) Bayleef put in.

(We'll be there when you're feeling down ) Cyndaquil added.

(Yep..Politoed and i can cheer you up with dances) Totodile stated.

( And i can help whack away anyone who tries to hurt you with my trunk. ) Phanphy added.

(If anyone tries anything I can take them out with Pin Missile and Horn attack) Corsola added.

(Plus if need be, Noctowl and I can use our powers to give you good night sleeps if you have nightmares. We can also send grunts packing.) Golduck said determinedly.

" And don't forget.. you have me" I ended.

Ash looked around at us and his face split into a smile. " Thanks guys ."

The End