Kamijou Touma awoke with a start. He didn't really recall much of what happened during class that day, far too busy dozing off. He was allowed a few minutes of... I don't think you can call what he was doing beauty sleep, but y'know what he means, right? But rather than waking at his desk, he was greeted with a different sight. He's not familiar with it at all.

"Oi, you."

The person before him was a woman, presumably. Touma was still at his desk, but the room was different. He was alone in a black expanse, and that by itself reminded him of the worst era of his life. Touma was only able to recall the person's face, which was odd. He'd never seen them before, yet he feels like he's experiencing a memory.

"Oi! Are you deaf, or what?" The hedgehog haired boy turned his attention back to the woman. Ash blonde hair turned up in a messy ponytail, piercing yellow eyes, pale skin, and a pair of rectangle wire frame glasses was staring him down. The person's face was irritated, for some reason he couldn't remember. He couldn't even see the rest of their outfit, if they had one.

"So, you're the one. An odd twist, I'd say." She sounded almost disappointed, turning away at that last bit. Then she simply walked away, or faded? Touma couldn't tell, he was too lost.

And like that, Kamijou Touma was back at his desk, greeted by the presence of his classmate, Fukiyose Seiri, whose forehead was almost as big as her breasts. "Kamijou! Are you deaf, or what?! Class has been over for 10 minutes, idiot!" It wasn't a day in the life of Kamijou Touma, the most unfortunate boy in the world, if he wasn't being verbally berated. Though, this time he probably deserved it. How did he zone out like that earlier?

"My bad, my bad, Fukiyose. This Kamijou was really tired from last night." Touma wasn't lying, either. Index had kept him up all night last night after he had came home late, which had happened because he'd gotten chased down by a group of thugs. She'd bit him forever because she was starving too, because 3 meals a day weren't enough. Of course, nothing was going to go Touma's way.

"Kami-yan, whaddya mean by 'last night'? Were you and Fukiyose having a secret steamy rendezvous~? A boy became a man last night it seems~. The harem bastard's collection grows, even the invincible Iron Wall wasn't safe from Kami's wiles, truly the world is doomed." The delusional torrent of words exited the mouth of Touma's longtime friend, and least trustworthy companion, Tsuchimikado Motoharu. Of course he said that, it's not out of character for the Backstabbing Blade at all to sow the usual discord that is never in Kamijou's favor.

At the word's uttered from Tsuchimikado, Fukiyose turned red as a beet. And then? Well, it looked like a wrestling video, as Tsuchimikado was violently suplexed. As for Kamijou? He got to experience a non-lethal, non-paralyzing neck snap that Fukiyose must have learned from a certain dorm manager. He didn't remember much after that. The school day was a blur, like usual. Kamijou had no complaints, he loved his life, as hectic as it was. He would prefer if it stayed like this.

Touma was walking down a street, no particular one. It was then that he realized that something was off. Not a single soul was around. The familiar chill and unsettling emptiness returned. He had realized it quite quickly; a people clearing field. But it felt off, different than the usual. He tried walking in the opposite direction, but there was an invisible force stopping him. He tried touching it with his right hand, but even Imagine Breaker did not work, simply bouncing off of the said wall.

"Hey! Whoever you are, show yourself!" He called out into the nothingness, hoping for some kind of result. And he most indeed got one. There was a sick, demented giggle that broke out around him. It started off as one, but then a cacophony of giggles and cackles broke out around him, before he saw the source behind him. The girl was bent in an unsettling way, her body twisted and curled as if someone crumpled her, despite this she continued to stare at him in that precarious position. Her hair was a mix of black and white, and her eyes were crazed, yet empty. Her tongue was unsettlingly long, as she licked her lips in an oddly sensual yet freakishly chilling way.

She straightened herself out, standing normally, the sight accompanied by disgusting sounds of crunching and bending. The girl kept eye contact the entire way. "I know who you are~" Her tone was singsongy, chilling. "The One Who Purifies God and Slays Demons. Hero. Understander. All these names and yet you refuse to utter all but one, Touma." Her grin widened in a disturbing way, stretching unnaturally across her face. Almost like a Cheshire cat. "You won't be able to go about saving everyone this time, sweet boy~ This time, dear Kamijou must take a life."

The girl approached him, her body crunching and twisting inhumanely as she approached, wrapping herself around him. "Blood, sweat, tears and more, this war will change you, sweet boy~" Her voice did not match her figure, sweet and smooth unlike her movements. Kamijou tried to follow her with his gaze, as she went from snaking around him, to vanishing right before him. Once he did manage to get his sights on her, she blew a kiss and Kamijou Touma fell asleep on the spot. His last words were, of course, "Such misfortune."

"Hamazuraaaaaaaaaaa!" Mugino Shizuri called out his name, a sound usually accompanied by her, well we can't call it righteous, fury. "I specifically asked for a salmon dinner, so what's with this!" Her robotic arm flexed dangerously, her death glare so powerful she might shoot a Meltdowner beam from it. She was keen on having salmon in some way shape or form in her meals. She had no patience for... catfish.

"They were all out at the store, okay! If there were some, I would've bought some!" Hamazura had said all this from his girlfriend Takitsubou's lap. His head was in what most could only refer to as heaven. He had no intention of getting up for some damned salmon. But of course, that would not be the case, as Mugino gripped his skull aggressively and sent him flying into the direction of the door. "Go to the supermarket if you need to, damnit! I won't settle for less, Hamazura!"

And so, Shiage Hamazura was set on the path to head toward the supermarket to go and get some damn salmon bento. Even though Hamazura was treated like this sometimes, he really enjoyed his time with his friends in ITEM. He would do everything he possibly could to protect this nice life. And to think, he probably wouldn't have all this if Boss hadn't set him on the relatively straight and narrow. That guy, Kamijou Touma socked the stupidity right out of him with that right hand of his. Too many times has his Boss saved his ass.

Hamazura stopped in his tracks. There was no way in hell that a coincidence of this size was possible. Hamazura looked down in the middle of the awkwardly empty street at the sight. Kamijou Touma, unconcious right there. "Boss!" Hamazura cried out, sliding over to the boy. He looked him over, no injuries it looks like. Did he just... pass out? Hamazura shook him a bit, but he didn't wake up. Seems he'll be going without buying some salmon for Mugino again. It's a necessary evil, as his boss came first.

And so, Shiage Hamazura carried Kamijou all the way to his apartment.

Kamijou awoke with a start. Well, if you could say that. His eyes bolted open but he didn't dare move. Why would he? After all, he was experiencing a rare circumstance only few men were able to experience. That's right, a lap pillow. But not only was it a lap pillow, it was a bare thigh lap pillow. Kamijou may have gone through what he has, but he's still a boy at heart.

"Oh he's super cute, Hamazura. Why didn't you say he was so super interesting, huh?" A voice spoke out, a girl's. It was clear that he wasn't at his shared apartment with Index. Kamijou looked up to see who was providing his head with the heaven it was experiencing, and there he saw the girl in question. Short bob cut hair, smooth skin and a smug face. "Yo, sleepyhead. Welcome to ITEM headquarters, the name is Kinuhata." She was wearing an orange hoodie, with navy blue shorts.

Kamijou sat up, relinquishing his supposed heaven. He looked around, adjusting to his surroundings. There was a woman, tall and beautiful, sitting in a chair across from his spot on the... oh he was on a couch. He heard the girl earlier refer to Hamazura, so where was he? "Hi. I'm uh, Kamijou Touma. Nice to meet you?" He offered an awkward greeting to the woman, she radiated a sort of dangerous energy he had no intention of testing. She was most definitely somewhat his type, though.

The woman offered a grunt in response to his greeting, and Kinuhata giggled a little. Hamazura finally entered the picture, a tiny girl in tow. Seems like he was busy in the kitchen beforehand. "Yo, Boss. Sorry I brought you here, but you were unconscious in the road, so I decided to bring you here." He sat down on the couch himself, leaving the girl to her own devices. "You okay? What had you like that? Were you jusy tired or something?"

Kamijou shrugged. "I don't know. One minute I was walking home to Index, the next I was..." He gripped his head, groaning slightly. "I don't remember what had me fall out like that. I was just suddenly asleep." It was odd, but it wasn't too concerning, not to him anyway. He's untouched and that's alright. Hamazura nodded. "Well, that's good Boss. If you want, I can drive ya back home, yeah?"

"I don't wanna inconvenience you, I'll walk." Kamijou replied rather quickly, putting his hands up. "I'll be fine." Hamazura, however, was not buying it. "I'll drive you, Boss. Don't need you passing out again." He grinned like a dumbass, but that's Hamazura for you. These two stupid heroes have done everything in their power to protect their small worlds, it's just how they are.

Of course, it's not a day in the life of either of these people if there isn't some issue that they have to face down. The peace is always, always short lived.

Such misfortune, right?