CHAPTER 15 - SCHISM

Lustre's lip curled in anger, when he thought he was being robbed of screen time. Afflatus hoped the Capitol forced him to appear on reality shows, so she could see how long it would take for him to grow sick of it.

He stalked over to Afflatus. "That was dumb as fuck, the interview's gonna look awkward cut off like that."

"Keep your voice down." Afflatus said through her teeth.

"Or what?" Lustre sneered.

"Are you really that stupid?" Afflatus asked.

Lustre knew there were consequences for bad behaviour, he just didn't seem to think the rules applied to him.

"You're not special, Lustre. Keep it down unless you want to find out." Afflatus threatened, on behalf of the Capitol.

He glared at her, and stalked out of the room.

…

The D1 victors, accompanied by Bliss, ate a late lunch together in the D1 apartment. Afflatus had told Bliss she didn't care about their rules in private, so invited Bliss to join them. The D1 victors may have barred Bliss from the hospital, but this was Afflatus' apartment too, and she could do what she wanted here.

Bliss would have to face Lustre sooner or later, so Bliss had accepted the offer. She hadn't seen the interview yet, it was airing in the evening. She only feared what awaited. The sight of Lustre made her blood boil, but she kept her expression smooth.

The tension in the room was palpable. The older D1 victors- Red, Areti, Andreas, Muse, and Zoe made casual conversation, while Bliss, Afflatus, and Lustre stared each other down. The older victors' ages were spread out between Afflatus and Red, generations of the 'finest' members of D1. Maybe they were the 'finest,' by Capitol standards, but they were currently also the most detested by the other districts.

"How did the interview go?" Red finally asked.

Lustre looked like he'd been waiting to be addressed, flat without attention given to him.

"It was good, easy." Lustre said, callous.

"I wasn't asking you." Red clarified. Lustre's eyes narrowed.

"Like it matter what she thinks." Lustre rolled his eyes.

"Hey." Bliss snapped. "Show some respect."

"Why? She's a-" Lustre started.

"One more fucking word." Bliss said, stabbing her knife into the mahogany table, a sudden blip of barely contained rage. The sound of the impact resounded throughout the room. Maybe Bliss fit in with D1 better than she thought.

"The interview was fine, overall." Afflatus said. "He was too arrogant, though. I just hope they don't take it out on me." She said, blunt.

Lustre scoffed. "I was not. I was confident." Ignoring her latter comment.

"I don't think you understand the difference." Red said, finding his voice again.

"Seriously? I thought you guys would be cooler than this." Lustre seemed aggravated by his company.

"Lustre. Let me be frank." Afflatus said. She pulled out her phone, and played a video of surveillance footage from the monitoring room.

It was from after Basal died, when Bliss berated the career mentors; calling them sadistic fucks, fucking disgraces. Lustre heard her words in full, and lost some confidence as her voice screamed through the phone's mic. Bliss had no idea how Afflatus retrieved the footage, but it didn't matter. Lustre's reaction was satisfying. The other victors looks chaste.

"This is the reputation you've given us. Do you think we appreciate that?" Afflatus motioned at the room.

Lustre seemed at a loss for words, but eventually asked, "You guys… saw what happened?"

"We saw enough." Afflatus stared at him, hard. "You need to straighten the fuck up. You can't ever act like that again."

Anger flashed in Lustre's eyes. "You know what? Fuck this. What about your reputation? You're just a dirty whore, who's fucked the entire Capitol,"

Bliss sprang from her seat, but Afflatus held her back, letting Lustre dig himself further into his grave.

"I'd take you for a spin but I don't want to catch a disease! Walan should have won, you good for nothing bitch." Lustre spat on the table.

"That's enough-" Bliss growled, but Lustre kept going.

"Nobody cares what a Capitol-made robot blow up sex doll like you thinks. You're a waste of space." Lustre rampaged.

"Lustre, SHUT THE FUCK UP! How fucking dare you speak to your mentor like that!" Plush piped up, slamming the table with his fist. The mahogany was taking a beating today. Plush's voice strained as he spoke, uncharacteristic for the stoic district. Silence fell.

Plush yelled in frustration, a guttural, primal sound. "Do you know what it was like listening to you… to you rape Basal? The mics on the other tributes picked up his screams… I've never fucking heard anything like that in my life! In all the Games I've seen! You're a fucking animal…" His voice broke, looking at Lustre with pure derision.

"Basal smashed his own skull to pieces after, did you even know that? Do you even care? Bliss had to fucking listen to that! How do you walk around here so cavalier, like you've done nothing wrong? And you actually think you can speak to Afflatus like that?!" Plush gestured madly, his anger growing.

"You are a fucking disgrace to careers! Do you feel nothing?!" A tear breached Plush's eyelid as the words raced from his mouth. He turned away as he wiped his face. The other D1 victors kindly pretended he wasn't crying. His breath caught, and he tried to pretend it was a cough.

Lustre didn't respond, shocked at Plush's outburst.

To Bliss, Afflatus looked like she wanted to murder Lustre, but the girl remained frozen.

To anyone but Bliss, she looked stone faced and unbothered. Bliss could see conflicting rage and distance invading her eyes, though.

"Apologize to Afflatus, now." Red commanded, using a tone only the first and eldest victor could use.

"No, fuck you." Lustre snarled. The disrespect was staggering.

"Get out." Red commanded in the same tone.

"No." Lustre remained in his seat.

Red looked towards the other victors, and nodded. Everyone but Bliss and Afflatus swarmed Lustre, and physically removed him from the apartment. He thrashed, but he was no match for them. They dragged him easily off his chair and across the floor. He yelled profanities. They slammed the door behind him.

The moment he was gone, Afflatus took off towards her bedroom.

Bliss remained in the dining room. "You know, I don't understand you guys." Addressing the D1 victors. "Sometimes you act like you care, but Afflatus wouldn't be such a wreck if you were actually there for her… How does he even know what she goes through?" She gestured at the door. "Decide already: are you with her, or against her?" Bliss stalked away, after Afflatus.

…

There was a knock at Afflatus' door. She flinched.

"Affy, can I come in?" Bliss' voice came through the door.

"Yeah." Afflatus said loud enough for Bliss to hear.

Bliss walked in, and locked the door behind her. She sat beside Afflatus on the bed.

"I wish you never found out about that." Afflatus said quietly, nervously rubbing her arms.

"It doesn't matter that I know. I'm not going to judge you… And you're not the only one who goes through that stuff." Bliss said, sadly. "You're not alone."

"You haven't-?" Afflatus asked, cutting herself off.

"No. Not me. But I know about it." Bliss said. "Not about you. Just… I don't know if they'd want me to talk about it, or what the etiquette is…"

"I know about Harlem, if that's who you're talking about." Afflatus admitted. "He… helped me after my Games when the other D1 victors abandoned me… He was punished for it. We both were honest with each other about what we went through… I know I'm not alone, but it's not something that's easy to deal with, with other people. It's ugly."

Afflatus was crying, unable to stop herself. She had no control when it happened, when she'd freeze up and repress, or if everything would spill out. Her swelling tears were strange; her ability to express emotion was usually suppressed due to the trauma from her Games and subsequent full body modifications…. She'd never been one to show emotion even in the most uncomfortable of situations, ever since.

Her breathing hitched in a sob, something that hadn't come out in a long time. She fled to the bathroom so the sound wouldn't travel to other rooms in the apartment. Bliss followed.

The force of her breathing increased, tears spilling out with each breath.

"Talk to me, Afflatus." Bliss said, strongly.

Fuck it, Afflatus thought. "I was to rip off my skin. I want to take myself apart piece by piece, too fucking bad I'm not a mechanic… I'm not allowed to 'damage the merchandise' anymore." She started sobbing harder, hyperventilating. Lustre's words cut deep. Even though he was an asshole, the things he said were true. Afflatus couldn't deny it. Her knees felt week. She sunk to the ground, leaning against a wall.

"What he said wasn't right." Bliss came to Afflatus.

"It was." Afflatus choked between sobs.

"No, it wasn't." Bliss wouldn't budge.

"You have no idea, Bliss." Afflatus looked towards her. "No idea the things I've done…What they've done to me." The look in Afflatus' eyes seemed to scare Bliss.

Embarrassment washed over Afflatus, she wished she could disappear.

"No matter what's happened, he had no right to speak to you like that." Bliss said.

Afflatus couldn't bring herself to care. She fell into the pits of her mind.

The words tumbled out of Afflatus' mouth. "I don't even look like me, anymore… I was barely 18, and they surgically modified me to look like a robotic blow up sex doll- Lustre was right." She ran her hands through her hair, clenching the roots.

"Sometimes I think they replaced everything in me, including my brain… How am I still me if I have none of my original parts?" She mumbled, distress growing.

"Does the make me dead? How am I thinking if this brain isn't mine?… I think, though… I think some of my organs are still mine." Afflatus stared at her belly. "Sometimes I want to rip open up my stomach, and look at them, and hold them, and see if I recognize which ones are real." Afflatus clenched her fists and strands of hair painfully detached from her scalp.

Bliss left her side, Afflatus didn't pay attention to what she was doing. Bliss returned with pills, and Afflatus washed them down without a second thought.

The raging storm in her mind glitched in and out. Weight pulled at her eyes.

Afflatus lost conciseness.