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The farthest Cerberus mouth lunged towards Pax. Probably because Pax was now armed with the very item that had caused this puppers so much pain.

Pax assumed he was going to die. He said a quick prayer to his Mayan gods and Catholic overlord and cowarded away as best he could.

Instead of having three heads calls dibs on his own, the one that had hovered over the paw snapped at the others. It made a whining noise, disrupting the attack.

Then, it leaned down and licked Pax from foot to hair.

In the best of cartoon fashions, his hair stood up from the line of drool. If he hadn't smelled like a corpse before, he did now. Normally, it took a lot for Pax to be grossed out. All he wanted to do was wipe off his face. Considering the rest of him was covered in the same gooey substance, that would do little good.

"Good boy? Boys?" Pax said uncertainly. He slowly set the sword onto the ground, calming the growls of the other two heads.

"Ajax..?" Alabaster's voice hovered behind him. The relief in Alabaster's tone made Pax want to hug the Witch Boy. It showed potential for Alabaster to look at him as more than a meat shield. Then again, this relief could come from Pax being a highly successful meat shield—a reusable one.

When the friendly head lowered back towards Pax, Pax hesitantly reached a hand behind the dog's ear. The dog made a face like it needed to sneeze. But, in good news, it didn't rip his arm off. He reached up both hands two hands to rub behind the ears, realizing one might feel more like a flea.

"Lou Ellen, stop!" Alabaster scolded.

Lou Ellen giggled, rushing over to Pax's side. She joined in the petting.

Cerberus's tail thudded the ground again, sending up little clouds of black dust.

The middle head looked like it wanted to investigate Lou Ellen for more sausages. The furthest glared jealously at the pets.

"Such a good boy!" Lou Ellen cooed.

Alabaster made a sound of annoyance.

Lou Ellen waved him off. "Could you take us to our friends?" she asked, "Would you be a good boy and do that?"

Pax perked up at the idea. He put himself right under the friendly head's snout. "One smells kind of like me," he said.

"If Axel was the one that stabbed him, is that such a good idea?" Alabaster asked. Pax suspected Alabaster was preparing a spell to make dogs vomit demigods. He had so little faith in them.

"Axel did not stab him," Pax said to Alabaster. He turned his attention back to Cerberus. There was a mini-dust storm from all the tail thumping. "How 'bout it? Take me to my brother?"

"Ajax, what makes you think it can understand you?"

Pax could tell Alabaster had folded his arms by the skepticism in his voice.

As though enjoying the challenge, Cerberus answered on his own. The friendly head leaned down to lift Pax up by his belt. The middle head got Lou Ellen. The angry one snapped up Alabaster by the nap of his shirt.

Cerberus, tail wagging cheerfully behind him, began to trot down along the River Styx.

So close to Cerberus' mouth, all three of them gagged.

"Can we please at least ride on your back!?" Alabaster shrieked.

They didn't need to ride for long, which was fortunate: Alabaster sounded ready to behead at least one of Cerberus' heads when the dog stopped.

In retrospect, they didn't need Cerberus to sniff out Axel. All they needed to do was follow the riverbank. Regardless, Pax was pleased they would arrive in style. And that Cerberus had a scent to follow. Part of Pax was terrified of what Alabaster would do to him and Lou Ellen if they got into the Underworld and found out that Luke, Axel, and Jack were already topside, celebrating a successful quest. Pax suspected that Alabaster wouldn't pick weasel transformation as the punishment for having them unnecessarily picnic to Hades.

He heard their friends before they saw them. The frantic trill of Jack's angelic song was eerie in the black cavern, bouncing haphazardly off the stalactites and stalagmites, making it sound like a choir of dead church children.

That type of singing was a bad sign. While Jack loved to hum aimlessly, that type of panicked song meant someone was hurt.

When Pax saw the three figures—definitely too lively to be undead unless the Z or T virus was about to break out in the Underworld (something Pax would both pay to see and not to be part of)—Pax's hopes sank.

Jack's red hair spiked like a flare in the gloominess. Axel's height was the next obvious silhouette.

Once they got close enough to see that Axel had withdrawn a sword at their approach, Pax noticed there weren't three people here, but four. Luke was a crumpled heap in one of Axel's arms.

Standing alongside their friends was an Ancient Greek dude that Pax had never seen before. This fourth guy was, in fact, a ghost, making Pax reconsider the stereotypes against ghosts.

Axel's muscles relaxed when Pax yipped, "Axel!"

Pax meant to wait and let Alabaster lessen the blow for them. Until he saw Axel here, Pax hadn't considered the asswhipping he was going to get once they got topside.

Cerberus stopped three yards away, growling deeply.

That's when Pax remembered that, presumably, one of their friends had stabbed Cerberus' paw. Pax crawled further up Cerberus' neck to pet behind his hear and keep him calm. "It's okay! Good boy! Nice boy! Thank-you-for-not-eating-us boy! You can let us down now, boy."

Lou Ellen must have been doing some similar cooing. Either Cerberus respected that Pax had helped him and really liked their pets, or he didn't want to risk another stabbing. The Rottweiler let Alabaster, Lou Ellen, and Pax jump off, gave one last snarl towards their friends—which sent Jack squealing—and dashed back upriver.

Worry and anger flashed over Axel's face upon recognizing Pax. Despite the chill of the Underworld, sweat soaked his shirt. His sword arm shook. The skin there was pink like he'd just withdrawn it from a vat of acid. Whatever scolding Axel might be preparing shattered when he saw Alabaster. Axel's golden eyes softened with relief.

"You brought Alabaster," he said, shoving the sword back into its sheath.

"I assure you, Pax and Lou Ellen had no intentions of being helpful," Alabaster said. "What happened here?" His emerald gaze flicked suspiciously to the ghost.

"Luke is hurt!" Jack cried. Without the echo of Jack's eerie singing or the low thrum of Cerberus, the Underworld felt quiet, their sentences uncomfortable punctures in a natural silence.

Axel must have felt this too. His muscles tensed. He lifted Luke's limp body for Alabaster to examine.

Pax swallowed. Luke looked like a new born baby or a cartoon piglet. His skin was pink, similar to Axel's, except it looked way worse, because—you know—pasty white people. Jack would have slapped Pax upside the head for that one. Flynn would have agreed.

"He lost sight of what kept him mortal, so the River Styx started to burn him to ashes," said the helpful, mysterious ghost, "I told him not to bear my curse."

"Achilles," Alabaster said, nodding his head absently towards the spirit. He withdrew some latex gloves from a pouch along his waist and reached to lift Luke's arm. "He looks pretty good for the River Styx trying to burn him."

Pax thought it was both terrifying and cute that Alabaster's cold, scientific curiosity was triggered by their wrinkly friend. Pax and Lou Ellen fell silent on either side of him, staring in confusion at Luke's marred skin. Mercedes would have scolded Pax for the awful job he'd done gathering information to hunt Axel down. All he knew was that Luke wanted to bath in the River Styx to become shiny or something. He didn't understand the ghost's presence or how skinnydipping could hurt someone.

"He didn't look like this a minute ago," Axel said, clenching his jaw.

Jack tugged at his hair. "I had to sing him back together! Alabaster, what went wrong!? And why isn't he getting better?! I healed him—I—I made all the blisters go away—and his skin regrow—"

Achilles shook his head. "I told you. His anchor wasn't strong enough. I warned him—"

"What does that mean?!" Axel demanded of the ghost. "And how do we fix him?"

Luke's breath came in shallow, sharp gasps. Shivers wracked his limbs. His eyes would open partially to reveal lazily listing whites. Similar to Axel, his body was soaked in sweat or—or likely River Styx water. Pax saw how polluted that thing was. Axel and Luke were likely to sprout even more super-human powers. Either that or become villains. It's what happened when you swam with three-eyed fish.

A pang of terror ran through Pax when he realized Axel must have reached into this acid-water to drag Luke out.

"He's in shock," Alabaster said. He frowned, turning Luke's hand over. The witch boy fished along his belt. Pax expected him to withdraw some ambrosia or some other healing substance.

Instead, Alabaster withdrew a scalpel and stabbed Luke's palm. That, Pax had to admit, was not in his Traditional Methods on How to Heal.

Axel flinched and dragged Luke back.

Jack shrieked, lunging to put himself between Alabaster and Luke.

"What the Hades?!" Axel snapped.

"Torrington!" Jack cried, sounding near actual tears. Probably because Jack knew he couldn't beat someone as terrifying as Alabaster. Pax loved his surrogate father, but, uh, Alabaster could kick his ass.

"The curse took successfully," Alabaster said calmly.

He rubbed the scalpel onto his sleeve before putting it away.

When Pax squinted at Luke's limp hand, he saw what Alabaster meant. There was no blood. There wasn't a mark at all, even though Alabaster had put enough force to cut open a hell hound.

The River Styx didn't just make people shiny, Pax realized in awe. It made them invulnerable. Or maybe invulnerability was the original myth…. Pax was bad with myths.

"You had to fish him out," Lou Ellen said, pointing at Axel's arm. "Like Achilles' mom did for him."

Alabaster brushed off Jack's whines and panic. "It was more time efficient to stab him than explain I was going to stab him and have you protest." Alabaster shifted his gaze to his half-sister. "Now, Lou Ellen, astute observation. Axel had to pull him out and Jack had to sing Luke back together, which means the River Styx should have killed him and it means he was in immense, horrific pain when you pulled him out. Jack healed him physically, but…"

"He's still in shock," Lou Ellen cheered like she'd gotten the right answer on a test. When Axel and Jack gave her bewildered glances, she dropped her eyes to the black sand. "Sorry, got excited," she said.

Pax reached around Alabaster to pat Lou Ellen's shoulder. He understood how exciting it was to meet Alabaster's impossible expectations. "Can shock kill someone?" Pax asked, unsure why everyone was freaking out. Luke was out of the water, right?

Jack paled. His fingers clutched at Luke's soaked shirt. He squeaked when his fingers came back blistered. "Circulatory shock—he's not getting enough blood—oxygen! That explains the weak pulse, the cold hands and feet, the—the—"

The stutter broke into a song. Jack hovered his hands on either side of Luke's sweaty, pale face. Luke's shallow, rapid breath mixed with the fluttery, echoing words. "This is where the healing begins, oh, this is where the healing starts. When you come to where you're broken within. The light meets the dark—"

His frantic, bright eyes flicked desperately to Axel and Alabaster, as though to communicate a message.

"But he's supposed to be invulnerable," Pax said, feeling small. At the sight of Jack's renewed panic, he felt some of his own, contagious like a yawn. [footnote 1]

"My curse makes one's battle prowess beyond that of any mortal and will make one physically strong," the ghost in ancient armor said, "However, it heightens all of one's weaknesses. I know not of this circulatory shock, but—"

Alabaster snorted, looking both scornful and bitter. "He was too weak-willed to handle this and the curse only intensified his weakness. We need to get him to the River Lethe."

Axel looked as confused as Pax felt. It took Pax a moment to realize Axel's skin must be burning everywhere he touched Luke. Axel's jaw clenched against it. "But—he's not in the river anymore—"

Alabaster motioned them away from the River Styx. "You're talking about someone prone to vicious nightmares. Either his nerves are fried and he's still in all of that pain, or he passed out and is stuck reliving the nightmare of it. Either way, his body is trying to give up and all that's kept him alive is Jack's singing. Unless any of you have morphine..?"

Alabaster held the word in the air, like he genuinely expected someone to lift the drug.

Axel scowled at him. He hated it when people insulated that he or Pax might have access to illegal drugs. Alabaster didn't know why and likely meant nothing by it, but Pax could feel Axel tense in offense despite the circumstances. Pax could see the resemblance between Axel and their real father in the way Axel went still with rage.

"No?" Alabaster surmised. "Very well. Then let's get to the River Lethe. If we do a quick splash, it'll hopefully erase just enough to make him forget the pain without forgetting who he is—"

"His healing pow'r this very hour—Hopefully?!" Jack said between verses, "Shall give new life to thee!"

"Unless you have a better idea?" Alabaster said. His emerald gaze flicked to the ghost.

Achilles shook his head. "This lack of mental fortitude is beyond my knowledge."

Pax was pretty sure this famous hero just called Luke a bitch.

"There's no other option then. Let's go," Axel said. He grunted and lifted Luke over his shoulders in a fireman carry.

Pax wanted Axel to put a fire blanket between his body and Luke's, or like, turn Luke into a bubble boy with a full hamster ball that they could push to the River Lethe, but Pax figured they didn't have time for that.

When he heard someone shout behind them, he realized they had no time at all.

"There they are!"

The shout belonged to a demented grandmother with wings and a fiery whip. She looked like something out of the weirdest porn links that Matthias had dared he open, thinking Pax wouldn't take the challenge. He wished he hadn't. It haunted his nightmares for weeks.

Their pursuers were a soccer field away. Two more of those winged, leathery grandmothers flanked the first. Behind these scouts, a chariot rolled across the black sand.

Pax felt his skin go cold. There was a small army of ghouls behind that chariot.

Alabaster released a string of curses. Lou Ellen paled. Jack's voice cracked in panic. Axel went to withdraw his sword again.

"No, you idiot," Alabaster growled. "The pit to Tartarus isn't that far. We'll be safer with my siblings down there."

Axel shoved Luke's limp body into Alabaster's arms. Fortunately, with the latex gloves, long sleeves, and whatever barrier Alabaster had put between himself and the earlier sausages, the residual Styx water didn't seem to bother Alabaster.

"They'll overtake us," Axel said. Once Luke was with Alabaster, he gave the Witch Boy a harsh shove down shore.

Alabaster's jaw dropped, in offense or disbelief, Pax wasn't sure.

Jack's lips quivered. He stopped singing for a moment. "Axel..?"

"Even with Lou Ellen here, you can't create a Mist shield that could hide all of us without them seeing someone was here," Axel said. "If they're looking for someone, they'll see through your Mist shield. Mist cracks under scrutiny. If they're distracted because there is someone in front of them, you can sneak off. You'll need you and Lou Ellen to keep the Mist shield up and Jack to keep Luke alive. Keep Ajax safe."

Pax shook violently. What was Axel saying?

"You stubborn, stupid, arrogant—" Alabaster seethed.

"Each insult is costing you a second that could be taking your to Tartarus," Axel said. That voice was too calm, too accepting, too final. "Go."

Axel ruffled Pax's hair with a forced, calming smile.

When Pax glanced back up the shore, he saw why.

That chariot radiated power. It wasn't just a platoon of level-one fodder. That was a boss fight. An Underworld boss fight. One Pax was sure Axel wasn't a high enough level to win.

Not that anything could beat up Axel, Pax assured himself. It just didn't follow a proper storyline. They hadn't been at this war long enough. Not enough people knew how awesome Axel and his clever shirts were. He hadn't even had a proper girlfriend yet, and Pax would be damned if he let anything happen to Axel before he got a proper girlfriend. Would he already be damned if they were in the Under—

Focus, he told himself as Axel shoved Pax to Lou Ellen. "Don't let him out of your sight," Axel said.

Pax's heart choked in his throat when Lou Ellen's hands caught him. This wasn't happening. He wasn't about to let this happen.

"Fine!" Alabaster spit. "Get yourself killed."

The Witch Boy chanted in Latin, either casting a massive invisibility spell, or something to crack Axel's will. Lou Ellen jumped into the chant, making Pax think it was an invisibility spell, since he doubted the children of Hecate had been practicing to subdue Pax boys in rhythmic harmony.

Like earlier that day, sparks sputtered near Lou Ellen. She must have been nervous or at least upset at the concept of leaving Axel. Her voice broke once. At least the Mist shield wasn't blinking like it had been.

Now, at least, Pax knew one of Alabaster's secrets for sure: he actually liked the Pax brothers. Either that, or they were too good a lab specimen to waste.

"Oh God," Jack whispered in horror. "We're really doing this. B—"

"Go!" Axel growled, his voice getting impatient. He took several steps away from the invisibility shield.

Pax wanted to think everyone was weeping at the sight of this beautiful hero, but he couldn't tell. Everyone had vanished. The only part that looked odd was the occasional spark drifting down from above his head.

Vaguely, Pax wondered how Jack was going to keep singing to heal Luke. Maybe Alabaster could maintain silence and invisibility at the same time?

"Come on, Ajax," Lou Ellen said. Her voice cracked again.

Pax wasn't going to wait to see how they planned to save Luke without Jack's singing. He felt her hand and jammed his thumb into the pressure point in Lou Ellen's forearm. He figured, if he couldn't see any of them, they couldn't see him. That meant, if he ran far enough from their group—

"Ajax!" Alabaster's voice hissed.

Okay, so maybe they could guess that he had run from Lou Ellen's squeak of pain.

By then, Axel was a few yards away and the furies were fast approaching, the chariot and army not far behind.

Axel's tufted ears twitched at Pax's approach. Maybe it was the fact that the sand still shifted under Pax's invisible feet. Maybe it was the fact that Pax smelled amazing or that Axel could usually see through the Mist. Whatever it was, Pax could see the instant Axel realized Pax had broken away from Alabaster, Lou Ellen, Jack, and Luke. It almost looked like Axel's courage faltered.

But neither of them could turn back now. Hades, Lord of the Underworld, was already descending upon them with his army.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed :D You're about to hit the reason why this short story exists, and it is for a very stupid reason. Stay tuned next week to see Hades' hospitality with our Pax boys!

I hope you guys are staying safe and healthy!

Footnote: I yawned every fucking time I edited this paragraph, which, unfortunately, had a lot of mistakes.