XII
"Can we promise me one thing? One thing for Christmas and my birthday? Screw video games. Screw a new slingshot. Screw an army of squirrels to help me spread havoc. Can we just agree no more dismembered limbs?" Pax asked. He currently held a makeshift bag that contained four, and that was four too many. The girl he was half-carrying, half-dragging was missing one, and didn't appreciate when he joked that they try to attach one of Prometheus' to her stump.
While Pax was up, discovering the riddle of how do you solve a riddle or crossword puzzle without a key—you cut around it—Lou Ellen had broken into a fever. The blackness around her stump had expanded. She babbled now and again, about Alabaster, about her real parents—depressing stories that fell into the category of things he did not need right now—and how bad she was at magic.
Axel couldn't help them. He stumbled forward with the world's least convenient backpack. They had taken pieces of their pants to tourniquet what was left of Prometheus' wrists and ankles. The titan stopped bleeding quickly, but that didn't make him any less nightmare-inducing. He managed to shrink to normal-human size. If Pax had to guess though, his brother was going to collapse soon. Giving deities piggyback rides: not advisable after dragging some dude out of the River Styx, running from Hades, falling into a mass of cotton balls, and fighting a massive eagle.
"There they are!"
The call came from behind. It was female and sounded angry.
Axel and Pax had been deliriously stumbling for about ten minutes. Lou Ellen was the one who knew the layout of Tartarus, and she'd been reduced to incoherent jabbering. Pax felt so parched, he couldn't make jokes. That was the real travesty.
The agreement was to head for the flaming river. The river had sustained them. Prometheus advised that he could regenerate his limbs quicker if bathed in the river. Fire=regeneration didn't make sense to Pax, but he wasn't a lizard, unfortunately. He didn't know how regeneration worked.
"Ajax, go," Axel said at the scuffle of movement behind them. He weakly dropped a hand to the sword in his belt.
Knowing their luck, it was a Fury that had come to take out Hades' vengeance for calling his helm stupid. Hades couldn't hold a grudge about it for that long, right? Or maybe it was some rogue monster, here to feast on the tiny demigods—
Pax had been struggling to keep his feet shuffling one after the other. The idea that "go" could mean anything more than "keep at the exact same slow pace" made him attempt a laugh. Instead of laughter, he coughed on the noxious air.
Something pulled Lou Ellen from his back.
Pax tried to shriek.
Just because they looked like carrion didn't mean they were carrion yet. He'd admit the likelihood of it happening soon, but he was still standing. Tartarus vultures were cheaters!
Although he was so exhausted that he'd be willing to bunk with one of the cannibal tribes they'd aligned with—a shocking number of those in Greek society, supposedly all liking a midnight snack to be close at hand—Pax felt a renewed surge of delirious fight. He would not let someone take Lou Ellen—
Pax flung an arm back, expecting to be just in time to grab Lou Ellen's ankle as a Fury skylifted her.
That's when he realized the figure had been talking to her. "Idiots! Complete and total idiots! I ought to have turned you into pigs—cows—and diced you into an experiment—"
The strength went out of Pax's limbs. He felt himself falling sideways and didn't care.
All he cared about in this red and black wasteland were those two green orbs: a symbol of hope, of growth, of future ass-kickings for convincing Lou Ellen to come down here.
Alabaster managed to snag Pax's arm before he smacked into the ground. A second later, Pax slumped onto it with Alabaster kneeling beside him. The Witch Boy had Lou Ellen in his arms, pressing a mostly blackened hand to her mostly blackened stump. His mouth moved rapidly in some Latin chant that Pax couldn't keep up with, though, he managed a hysterical, "Ave Maria," to make himself feel like he had helped.
Lou Ellen's hand glowed the same shade of green as their eyes.
Then she thrashed and screamed.
"Jack! Get over here!" Alabaster hissed.
A calming song swept over Pax like a security blanket. A flare of sweat-slicked red hair appeared over Alabaster's shoulder. Pax wanted to cry in relief, but his body didn't have the extra moisture to make tears.
"Ajax! My boy!" Jack's voice was raspy, and, when he began to sing, "Let faith arise, in spite of what I see—" he sounded less like his typical angelic choir and more like a hellish rock star.
Pax's caretaker dropped to his knees alongside Alabaster, dragging Pax into his lap. This gave Pax a good line of view to see Lou Ellen's gangrened arm. The limb was attached and Alabaster frantically grappled to keep Lou Ellen from clawing at it.
Jack's voice trembled into a song much more desperate, much more eerie, "See my eyes I can hardly see? See me stand? I can hardly walk. I believe you can make me whole. See my tongue? I can hardly talk. See my skin? I'm a mass of blood—" [footnote]
The soothing sensation of Jack's power cooled blisters and bruises Pax didn't even know he had. A fever ebbed from his skin.
As Pax had once seen Jack heal burns, the child of Apollo peeled off a layer of skin just above his wiry bracelet. "See my legs, I can hardly stand. I believe you can make me well—" He rubbed his thumb against Lou Ellen's wrist, peeling away her dead skin.
Alabaster wrangled to keep her still. "Lelly, you are already grounded—if you keep thrashing like this, I'll ban you from playing any music in the laboratory other than opera or Tchaikovsky—" The threats sounded near tears. Alabaster must not have been sure if they were too late to save her hand.
When Jack pressed his strand of removed skin to Lou Ellen's raw not-skin, she squealed.
"Water from Phlegethon," Jack requested and lifted a hand behind him, like a surgeon asking for a scalpel.
Another set of hands placed a bucket in Jack's hands. The weight was such that Jack almost fell over. The set of hands must have realized this and lunged to help Jack set the bucket between Alabaster and Jack. Flames licked over the sides.
Jack gently pushed Lou Ellen's hand into the fires.
She shrieked, kicked, and fought against Alabaster's hold.
"This had better work, Flash!" Alabaster snarled.
"Augh, isn't that our drinking fire—er—water? I guess that's auto-sanitation if it's constantly burning germs away," said the voice attached to the hands.
Pax was unused to the humor in the voice. That couldn't be who he thought it was.
Before he could check, Lou Ellen's hand jerked out of the bucket. Her fingers were twitching. The skin around her wrist did not look pretty—well, "skin"—and she would not be a hand model in Witch's Weekly, but her hand appeared to have successfully reattached.
With that, Lou Ellen's eyes rolled up in her head and she collapsed into her brother's arms.
Alabaster exhaled heavily. Throughout their travels, much of Lou Ellen's hair had escaped her ponytail and clung to her face. He gently pushed strands back into her hairline. "Lelly, idiotic, thoughtless—" he whispered.
"You should use all your fancy words to spell out her name. It would be more of a challenge," Pax said, his voice cracking from lack of drink.
Alabaster glanced up. The typical coldness in his eyes melted. They shifted to Pax's caretaker. "Thank you, Flash." Expressing the gratitude seemed to physically hurt Alabaster.
Now that Lou Ellen's hand was taken care of, Jack turned his full attention to Pax. "Boy," Jack said, his voice hoarse, "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're in? Torrington and I have been discussing how to punish you and Lou Ellen—we were so worried. No Reese's Sticks for a month!"
"That is not all we agreed to," Alabaster said, shooting Jack a look.
Jack brushed him off. He took Pax's face between his hands, seeming to check Pax's eye dilation by waving a hand over each eye in turn. "How are you doing? Are you hurt? What were you thinking!"
The last question went more over his shoulder, to where Axel must have been standing. "Of course, Ajax would come after you! You two are in SO much trouble!" Jack continued. His words cracked and crackled with dehydration. He scooped a handful of flaming water from the bucket and shoved it into Pax's mouth.
Now that Jack's song had healed most of Pax's aches and bruises and the river's water had…. "soothed" him, Pax realized how tired, hungry, and thirsty he was. By this point, all he wanted was to curl up aboard the Princess Andromeda with the hell hound puppies.
They no longer had the timer of Lou Ellen's magic-tricked wrist, but he didn't know how they were going to get back. That didn't seem to matter. Pax knew, with Jack, Alabaster, and Axel together, they could keep him and Lou Ellen safe. Just looking at Alabaster's green eyes and Jack's flash of red hair eased him.
Hadn't the person who shouted at them been a girl?
Pax rolled in Jack's lap, keeping as tightly burrowed and weasel-like as possible, to see who stood by Axel.
One of them reached over to pick up the bucket.
He was a blonde guy with a military cut. Pax blinked, wondering if someone has sucked the dude's insides out and replaced them with someone else. In the past, Pax has become accustomed to Luke's rigid posture, constant irritation, and scowl. This Luke looked… younger. One of his hips jutted out and he had a hand on it. The other one swung the bucket back and forth. He looked skeptical. The expression made Pax realize that Luke may have always found the world annoying; but, once upon a time, Luke had been able make jokes about the annoyance.
"Alright, I give up," Luke said. "Who are these guys?" He gestured with the bucket between Pax, Lou Ellen, Axel, and Prometheus.
Axel must have sat down during Jack and Alabaster's panic. The titan sat beside him.
Above them stood a familiar empousa, the one who must have shouted. In the above world, Pax had seen her cover up some of her demonic features. Down here, her hair flickered a fiery red. She fit in so well, she could have been a real estate agent.
She laughed airily and went to sling an arm around Luke's shoulder.
He ducked out and away from her, looking uncomfortable.
"Luke," she chided. "These are more of your subjects."
"Yea, okay," Luke grumbled.
Prometheus tilted his head to one side at the use of "subject," glancing Luke over from nasty facial scar to sneaker. "Kronos?" Prometheus asked slowly. His grey eyes seemed to bore into their leader.
"That's the story," Luke said, shooting Alabaster and Jack a suspicious look.
"We had to splash some of Lethe's water into his face," Alabaster said, sounding exhausted.
Prometheus chuckled softly. "Ah, splashing a demigod that once feared monsters with Lethe water while surrounded by monsters. You didn't think that one through, did you?"
Alabaster glared. "We were running out of time—" His green eyes flicked from Lou Ellen to the titan. His jaw dropped. "Did you guys cut off Prometheus' limbs?!" His annoyed hiss went to a horrified shriek.
Pax and Axel looked at each other. Axel shrugged. "We were running out of time."
Prometheus gave a goodhearted shrug. "They brought them along, just in case they didn't start to grow back naturally, like my spleen does."
"A titan's limbs..?" Jack mused. He cradled Pax up against his chest, so Pax could hear the Energizer-bunny heartbeat inside. "I might be able to help you grow those back after a few gallons of peppermint tea, honey, and licorice root."
His voice was scratchy and hoarse. Pax wondered what had done the worst number on it: the hours of singing to keep Luke alive, the friendly volcano-like atmosphere, or the times Jack shrieked when something scared him.
"I stole some pink dye from Alabaster's workroom," Pax whispered, "We can use it to make your tea extra flameboyant, in case you end up missing this vacation." It was a bad joke and completely off the mark, but Pax felt like he had to say something.
Jack ruffled his hair appreciatively. "Once we get top side, I plan to never think of this place again. We can heal Mr. Prometheus and get that harlot away from Luke." Jack's bright eyes narrowed to glare at Kelly.
Kelly touched Luke's hair and pouted. "I just want to remind Luke how close we were before…"
Luke flinched, but didn't pull away this time. His eyes flicked up and down Kelly's figure with boyish interest. Pax had to wonder how old Luke thought he was right now.
"You weren't that close!" Jack snapped, sitting up. Pax would have slipped out of his lap if Jack hadn't scrambled to grab him.
Kelly rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous."
Alabaster snorted. "Yep, and Luke and I were best friends."
Pax saw a beautiful opportunity that he couldn't miss. "And you promised me that you'd give me a pony." A weak request, but Pax suspected, "A truckload of Reese's" would garner suspicion.
Luke's blue gaze narrowed further. "I doubt both those things."
"We're not friends," Alabaster said. His lips twitched. "But, you did promise Pax a pony."
If Pax wasn't already huddled up with Jack and it wouldn't require knocking Lou Ellen to the ground, Pax would have hugged Alabaster.
Axel gave a heavy sigh. "Don't get him a pony."
Luke put his hands up for silence, seeming to realize he was in control, even if he wasn't accustomed to it anymore. His fingers shook with the insecurity. He frowned thoughtfully to the side. "I wish Thalia was here," he mumbled more to himself. "She would know what to do."
Kelly huffed, removing her hand from Luke to fold her arms. "You don't need her. You're stronger than she is."
Luke gave Kelly an incredulous look. He shook his head. "Okay, we found these… three, following the magic tethering that hand." He pointed to where Lou Ellen was curled up in Alabaster's arms. The Witch Boy rose to his feet, lifting his little sister with him.
Limbs that are magically attached from a distance. Gross.
"How are we getting out of Tartarus? I'm not really fond of staying in monster-infested territory," Luke said. He shot a meaningful glance to Kelly. "No offense."
"Oh, I can't wait until we board the ship," Alabaster said. His lip twitch shifted into a malicious grin. "He's in for such a rude awakening."
"Luke," Kelly chided. "You like monsters."
Luke self-consciously reached to his back, grasping at nothing. Pax remembered Axel saying that Luke once used a golfing club to fight off monsters. Pax tried to picture that: their overbearing overlord riding valiantly into battle with a golf club. He choked back a laugh.
"Besides," Kelly continued, checking her sharpened nails, "I am your ticket out of here. Climbing out of Tartarus? That's like a typical Monday morning for monsters—"
"Good name for a band," Pax mumbled.
Jack nodded. "Monday Morning Monsters. Still not right for us."
"When Lamia realized Alabaster would come down here to look for Lou Ellen, she sent me down here to kill him," Kelly said.
Pax swallowed, knowing he was to blame for the hired assassination attempt.
"Naturally," Alabaster grumbled, rolling his eyes.
Kelly gave him a vicious grin. "There are other empousa scouting Tartarus for him. But, we all like Alabaster leading Hecate's children." She tilted her head to one side while examining the Witch Boy. "You don't make us wear black robes and light candles on the Satanic Sabbath. Do you have any idea how hard it is to seduce prey when you reek of incense?"
Pax thought Alabaster's herb-cabinet smell was seductive, but maybe that was just him. From the look on Kelly's face, this might have been a Pax boy oddity.
Alabaster sighed and Pax wondered how many others had implied is musk was anything but spectacular. Considering everything reeked of carcass down here, Pax decided he'd have to subtly sniff-test Alabaster later.
With the knowledge that they had a guide, everyone got a renewed vigor to get the hell out of hell.
All in all, this came out the best case scenario: Alabaster joined he and Lou Ellen to make a merry trio, they were plus-one unexpected titan, Luke both had the curse of Achilles and had temporarily forgotten to be an asshole, and there was a high chance everyone would be able to keep their limbs.
They played musical chairs with the titan. Axel went to piggyback Prometheus again and almost collapsed.
"I am the titan of forethought," Prometheus said gently when he saw Axel's embarrassment. "I weigh heavier on some people's shoulders than others. Hand me off to your little brother."
It took several minutes of convincing (and several minutes of Pax pretending he wasn't on the verge of a longed for coma) to get Axel to agree. The whole group seemed to expect Pax wouldn't be able lift the titan—a theory Pax also supported and secretly hoped for. He didn't want to heft the titan. That would mean effort and the responsibility of some dude that didn't have hands or feet.
When Pax put all his strength into picking up Prometheus, he did not expect to almost toss the titan. He was feather-light.
"You don't think ahead much, do you?" Prometheus mused.
"I strive to be impulsive," Pax said, managing a smile.
Once their group began to move, Pax felt like Tartarus might not have been so bad. Maybe they could come down and vacation here to visit some of Alabaster's other relatives.
With the extra weight of Lou Ellen, Alabaster moved slowly. Pax dropped behind to walk alongside him while Axel tried to catch Luke up on everything he'd forgotten and fend off Kelly's it's-not-creepy-at-all-that-I'm-hitting-on-you-now-that-you've-lost-your-memory advances.
With the lack of hands to grab Pax's back, Prometheus was more cumbersome than heavy. Mental note: pray to Fates to let him keep both his hands, Pax thought. Unless he gained regenerative powers. Maybe having regenerative powers would be cooler. Like a lizard.
"Witch Boy," Pax said, "Not that I'm upset that you came to save us with suit-bribery with Charon—"
"You're lucky my grandfather insisted we keep up connections with that designer," Alabaster grumbled.
"—but you were only an hour behind Lou Ellen and me, at max. You weren't supposed to find our note until—" Pax was going to say "tonight," but the lack of sun or sky left Pax uncertain of what time it was. "The night of the day we left," he finally said.
Alabaster released a long sigh. "You would leave a note when sneaking off to Hell."
So, Alabaster didn't even know about their note.
"How did you know to come looking for us?" Pax asked, wondering if this was some spooky, witch thing.
Alabaster's lips twitched into a grin despite their surroundings. "Let's just say that Axel and I aren't the only people who will be punishing you when you get home."
Pax swallowed, wondering who he could have forgotten.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed :D Stay tuned next week for the last installment of this short story where Pax—wait, learns to feel guilty? Pax, I didn't know you were capable of shame… He says not to believe the chapter; it's libel spread by his enemies.
Also, anonymous reviewer who commented on my number of reviews: I'm not sure if you've read this far that you'll actually get this message, but thank you! :D
Footnote: I don't do as many footnotes in this story as I did in my other series, and definitely not ones related to childhood. This is from a scene in a movie where Jesus is ambushed by beggars and cripples. At first, he's startled, but compassionate. Then, the crowd gets more and more aggressive, trying to claw the holiness off of him while he's begging them to stop, "There's too many of you. There's too little of me. Don't crowd me! Leave me alone!" as he gets dragged under. This horrified tiny Jack for years .