Author's note: Finals are done! We're back to our usual scheduled weekly posts. Not that I really deviated from that, tbh... I still managed to post despite how busy I was. Go me.

Anyway- I hope you enjoy. I've been waiting to write this chapter for a LOOONG TIME.

Chapter 68: Stop holding back

Nemona walked out of the Pokecenter and stood beside the door. She kept rubbing her arms, as though she were cold, and her breathing was shaky. Terror had grabbed the girl by the throat and wouldn't let go.

Going all out…wasn't something she wanted to do. She learned that the hard way, two years ago.

The difference between herself now, and herself from two years ago… was that she hated holding back. Battling was everything to her. Heck, it's still everything to her now. It was her passion, her life's joy. And so, naturally, she strived to get better at it.

And she did.

Every day she'd work hard with her Pokémon to become even better than before. Back then, she was her own rival. She wanted to become better and better and better.

But no one else around her got better with her.

That was when a memory replayed itself in her own mind, one that would replay itself again and again, like a defense mechanism built into her mind to show proof to herself that she should never, ever go all out.

It was two years ago, two years before she met Kai.

Nemona remembered standing in a crater of her own creation in the middle of a trainer battlefield. She and her Rockeruff stood in front of a defeated male trainer in an invoker, with a helmet visor that was too dark to see through.

It was her friend, David. He was her first rival. His signature Pokémon was Litten, who had fallen right beside its trainer. Their dynamic was neat, a Cat Pokémon versus a Dog Pokémon. Nemona remembered the jokes the two of them would say to each other before battling.

Nemona looked down at her fallen rival and offered a hand.

"That was a good fight!" She cried. "You really-"

Her opponent smacked Nemona's hand away, causing the girl to pull it back in surprise.

"You can't just say that after you obliterated me like that…" The male trainer said. His invoker disappeared in a flash of light, revealing the boy's blonde hair and green eyes. He stood up, picking up his unconscious Litten. "This is the fifth time you've said, 'Good fight' after you just beat me without taking a single hit."

"But-...I mean-... I did… tell you what you could have done better, and-"

"Oh, so now that you're better than me, you think you can give me tips, like you're looking down at me?"

"No! That's not what I meant at all-"

"Fighting you used to be fun. Now that you're better than me you want to walk all over me, like I'm nothing, is that it? You're so disrespectful!"

"No! David- I-"

"Leave me alone!"

The trainer named David turned and left, and Nemona lowered her head.

Nemona clenched her fists and frowned. That was the last time she was ever fought David. Every time she asked him for a Pokémon battle… he would ignore her. Soon enough, they would drift apart.

It took Nemona months to deal with that grief, but soon, she decided she'd find another rival. Someone to match her- someone who could keep up with her.

And she would find someone. A Purple haired girl named Camila. She was the Champion trainer back then. She was the strongest person around- someone that Nemona, who wasn't a champion ranked trainer at the time, used to aspire to become as strong as.

Emphasis on, 'Used to'.

At first, Nemona challenged Camila over and over again for fun and lost due to her overwhelming strength. But…eventually, Nemona would beat Camila. And then beat her again.

And again.

And again.

The fourth time she had won...was when the exact same scenario that happened with David would happen.

Nemona was standing side-by-side with her Lycanroc(Midday form), in front of their defeated opponents. Camila and her signature Pokémon, Avalugg, lied on the ground together. Camila's invoker armor disappeared, and Nemona would offer a hand to her.

"Good fight!" Nemona shouted.

Camila would stand up wordlessly, return her Avalugg into her Pokéball…and walk right past Nemona without saying a word.

The emotional pain that came to Nemona at that moment was like a blade to her gut. It was enough to nearly push the girl to tears. The exact same thing that had happened with David was happening with Camila. But-... Camila wasn't David. Maybe she was different.

"Hey-" Nemona said, turning to Camila. "That- That was a good fight, right?"

Camila stopped walking. "You took everything from me."

The moment she said this, Nemona's heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest.

"You took my fame," Camila continued. "My glory. My reason for battling. I used to be the best. Now…I'm nothing."

"Don't say that!" Nemona cried. "If you just start training-"

"Training? As hard as you do? Nemona, you told me that you literally take karate classes so you can use your Pokémon's moves better. I tried that, and I couldn't keep up. I'm not like you."

"But-.. I just… if you don't-"

Camila started walking away.

"Wait-" Nemona shouted, raising her arm toward the girl. "Wait- don't go! You… you can get better! Just…"

As Camila went farther and farther away, Nemona's arm lowered. And the pain in her stomach became worse.

Nemona was convinced that it was her own fault. It had to be. If she…hadn't become stronger…if she was more casual about fighting and wasn't as strong as she was now…then she'd have more friends.

Eventually, as the year went by, Nemona would become one of, if not, the strongest Champion-ranked trainer in the entire school. No one could keep up with her. She loved battling so much that she became strong. Too strong. Now, no one could keep up with her.

She remembered the year she spent walking down the school halls every day, her head lowered, and frowning as she heard students around her gossiping.

"Isn't that Nemona?" One person said.

"Yeah. The only thing she talks about is battling.." Another person said.

"She's such a tryhard sometimes. Seriously, sometimes I'm just trying to have fun, and she gives me tips out of nowhere when I didn't ask."

"She's just way too good. No one can beat her, y'know? It's like she's bragging or something, asking people to battle so she can show off."

'They didn't understand,' Nemona thought.

It was like being a painter without a brush, a blacksmith without a forge.

Without a person to battle…her strength meant nothing.

Being the best was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Everyone around her was too scared to challenge her. Every time she offered to battle someone, they'd either leave without responding… or say something along the lines of:

"Sorry, I have to go!"

"Uh…Sorry, I don't think I can beat you."

"I would, but I just finished having a Pokémon battle a few minutes ago..."

She'd even seen students straight up go out of their way to avoid her. For the longest time…she had no one to battle. And that hole in her heart was a loneliness none of her Pokémon she owned could fill. It was a loneliness none of her family members could fill. Only a rival could fill that hole in her heart, and no one was willing to become that rival. That hurt more than any attack from the strongest Pokémon that could be thrown her way.

But then…she met Kai. He was the only one who was willing to fight her despite everything. But…she couldn't risk losing him.

So, she held back when she fought him. Kai understood and didn't see it as an insult, thankfully. But she had to hold back.

She needed to hold back. That way, Kai wouldn't be discouraged.

That way, he wouldn't leave her.

Nemona opened her eyes, as the flashback that played in her mind ended, and she stared at the trees in front of the Pokecenter that she stood in front of. Slowly, Nemona sat on the ground and started to hug her legs. She felt her eyes beginning to well up with tears.

That's when she heard the sound of the automatic doors opening, and out of it came Kai, who looked around, seemingly looking for her.

"Where is that girl…" Kai said.

Nemona's eyebrows raised upon noticing that Kai hadn't seen her yet. After wiping away a bit of her tears with her sleeve and standing up, she tried her best to put on the biggest fake smile she could muster.

"I'm right here," Nemona said.

Kai turned to her. "What the-" he said. "What're you doing?"

"I was…uh…" Nemona scratched the back of her neck. "Mentally preparing myself for the battle."

"...Preparing yourself...?"

"Yeah."

Kai raised a suspicious eyebrow. He stared at Nemona for a while, then crossed his arms.

"Something's wrong," Kai said. "You never 'mentally prepare' yourself for a battle. You literally just start hopping up and down real fast like an excited Spoink and pull out your Pokeball with a huge grin without even thinking. Right now… you're…" Kai uncrossed his arms. "You're sad, aren't you..?"

Nemona looked away, and Kai, growingly becoming more concerned, came closer. "What's wrong?" Kai asked.

Arven and Aeon walked out of the Pokecenter doors just then.

"Oh, there she is," Arven said.

Aeon tilted his head with confusion, immediately noticing Nemona's bloodshot eyes. Then, the robot's eyebrows raised when she heard Nemona sniffling, and wiping her eyes a bit with her fingers.

"What's she doing?" Arven continued. "Why is sh-"

Aeon raised a hand over to Arven's face to shush him. Arven gave a confused look, then stopped talking.

"C'mon," Kai said. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong…" Nemona said. "We can battle, now."

"You're a great trainer, but you're a horrible liar."

Nemona lowered her gaze. She couldn't hide things very well and the year she spent with Kai meant that he could see right through her even if she tried lying.

Nemona wrapped her arms around herself again, grabbing hold of her forearm and holding it tight.

"It's just that…I…" Nemona looked away. "I was thinking about the past. About…how things were…before I met you."

"Huh?"

That was when Nemona explained everything. She explained what happened to her first Rival, David. Her second rival, Camila, and how she couldn't find a third rival for two years straight until meeting Kai.

"Sometimes… Sometimes… I remember.." Nemona's voice became more distraught and emotional. "I remember-..."

The moment she thought of saying the word, 'crying' was when Nemona began to burst into tears. She cupped her hands and put them on her face. "I- remember… cr-crying-...and-... wondering…where my next…rival would come… and-...you came…You… you saved me from…my loneliness. You…you were the only one willing to battle me… You-"

Kai hugged Nemona suddenly, silencing the young girl immediately.

"I…didn't tell you this. But-..." Kai spoke as he began to tear up a bit himself. "It was the same for me. I was lonely before meeting you, too. Really, really lonely. But… you helped me through that. You…kinda…No. You totally did save me. Without you, I would have never realized that I…have potential. Without you, I would have never even considered taking the first step of my journey. Hearing you talk about me… saying that I saved you…You have no idea how much weight that's just been lifted from my shoulders."

"Wh-What…?" Nemona's breathing was shaky, her vision blurred because of the tears that kept falling.

"Here I was, thinking about how I was going to be able to repay you. But…it turned out in the end… I already did. By being there for you, I did. I had no idea… you were going through so much. You didn't tell me anything at all."

"You-... didn't tell me anything, either."

"Heh. Yeah, fair point." Kai said. "Ever since I became friends with you… since the longest time… I wanted to be just like you. Heck. I think you rubbed off on me a little."

"Rubbed… off on you..?"

"Yeah. The way you fought me…it let me know that I have so much more to learn. It let me know that if I kept training, that one day… I'd be able to fight you at your full strength. It used to be the only reason why I fought. Now... I have more reasons. But before, I just became a trainer because... I wanted to make you happy. Because I owed you so much. Heck, even after hearing what you said about me saving you, I still owe you so much."

Nemona started breaking down and sobbing loudly like a baby. Kai patted the girl on the back softly as she kept crying.

"I-...I don't want you to leave me…" Nemona cried.

"What? Why would I leave you?"

"I-...I thought about…going…all out against you…one day- and… and I got scared…because- because people- they-... they left me… because they couldn't keep up. I'm scared, Kai. I'm so scared of losing you- I don't want you to give up…"

Kai chuckled to himself.

"The old me would have probably given up if you went all out against me at the start… But…now I have more reasons to fight. I have a boyfriend to protect. Friends to support. But most of all… I have a dream now. I want to fight really, really strong opponents… and be the coolest person in the world. The coolest person would be a champion. So, I'm going to become a Champion."

Nemona pulled herself away with surprise.

"R-Really?" Nemona shouted. "That- That's the first time you-... you've ever… said to me...that you wanted to be a champion…"

"What-" Kai said with a smirk. "Are you gonna start crying because you're sad or start crying because you're proud...?"

Nemona chuckled a bit to herself as she then pulled her hands away from Kai and stepped back.

After wiping a bit of her tears, she pumped her fist and held it close to her chest as she closed her eyes. Finally, after nodding to herself, she opened her eyes.

"I've decided… I'm going to go all out against you this time. But… only for…twelve seconds."

"Twelve seconds?"

"Yeah," Nemona said, smiling. "Because that's how long you'd last."

"Oh really?!" Kai roared, smiling wide. "I'd like to see you try!"

Arven and Aeon both shared a look and smiled with each other.

"All right!" Nemona said, pointing her finger at her rival. "It's on!"

Kai and Nemona ran away from the Pokecenter, and Arven and Aeon watched them go. After the two trainers made some distance between each other, they looked into each other's eyes, grinning wide with their Pokeballs in their hands.

Both trainers dropped their Pokeballs beside them. Out of Kai's ball came out Quaxwell, and out of Nemona's… was Lycanroc.

"Hey!" Aeon shouted. "You're supposed to be using Greavard!"

"Yeah- well, that can happen after I fight Nemona at full strength! I've been waiting my entire trainer career for this!"

Both trainers couldn't stop grinning. They maintained eye contact as they both activated their invokers.

Their bodies shone white before they both were clad in suits of armor. That was when both trainers pulled out their Tera orbs...and crushed them.

The pillar of light that erupted when the tera orb was crushed rose around both trainers and their Pokémon, and their Pokémon disappeared. in Kai's hand was a rapier made of water.

Nemona now had a fur cape which had the same colors of Lycanroc's mane. In her hands were two clawed knuckles which glowed with rock type energy.

"Wait- why did Nemona's armor change!?" Arven shouted.

"Did you not know? When Pokémon have fully evolved, their user's outfits change, as well. I'm pretty sure they'd teach you that at school."

"Oh. Huh. I..uh…kinda skipped that class that probably explained it."

"Are- Are you kidding me?"

"Shut up."

"Ugh. All right- then do your best to watch and learn." The android boy said.

"Just like you had to when you first met me and everyone else?" Arven said.

"Shut up."

"Heh..." Nemona said. "This is the first time I'm using my Lycanroc against you."

"Yeah! I'm really, really excited..." Kai said.

"So am I!"

A question came up in Nemona's mind at that moment. How was she going to start fighting with all of her strength? She had almost forgotten how.

Every battle with Kai, she had to hold back- purposely walk into attacks, purposely wait for Kai to get up when she could have attacked him when he was down.

Nemona stared at her open hand.

That was when Rika's voice echoed in the young girl's head. "That lie you made up in your head that tells you that the moment you stop holding back is the moment you lose everything…

"...Is just a lie…" Nemona said to herself.

Nemona slowly clenched her fist.

"Ready when you are!" Kai roared.

Nemona slowly pulled her closed fist closer to her chest, and raised her other, open palmed hand and aimed it at Kai.

"It's just a lie." Nemona said to herself as she closed her eyes. "It's just a lie. It's just… a lie."

Suddenly, sparks of white light radiated around Nemona's body. More voices from the past echoed in the girl's mind.

"'Flow' is more of a state of mind than a technique...?" Kai's voice from the time when Geeta told him and Nemona about Flow for the first time echoed in the champion-ranked trainer's mind.

"Exactly." Geeta had replied.

"Hey!" Nemona had said, "I don't have any mental distractions when I fight and I don't enter the state of 'Flow!'"

"Nemona, when was the last time you stopped holding back?" Geeta had asked. "You're so preoccupied with holding back that you can't possibly enter the state of Flow."

"It's just a lie.." Nemona continued chanting to herself as the white lightning coursing around her entire body continued to spark.

The earth began to tremble. Rocks began to rise around Nemona as she began chanting to herself the same words again and again like a mantra.

"Uh..." Arven said. "I'm pretty sure what's going on with Nemona isn't normal..!"

Aeon quickly pressed his finger on his temple as the activation sound of his power-sensor rang.

"What's with this power level..!?" Aeon shouted- "It's… It's through the roof…!"

Kai could sense it too. His arrogant smile disappeared, and his eyes widened in sheer shock…and awe.

"What's with that power..!? It's… is it… Flow!?" Kai roared.

Nemona's closed eyes opened, and revealed that they had changed into a crimson red. She moved like a speeding bullet- a dirt trail was left behind in her wake as she rushed toward Kai with her fist raised.

Within a fraction of a second, Kai could see Nemona. He could see that her hair color had changed from black… to white.

Nemona threw her Mega Punch.

A shockwave of wind blew past Kai was standing- a shockwave so fierce and powerful that it sent the trees behind him flying into the air and ripped into the ground like a Hyper Beam. The shockwave of wind continued to travel until it reached a nearby mountain, which had trembled upon absorbing the impact of the attack...

Which had missed Kai.

Nemona's thrown fist hung beside Kai's head, which had tilted to dodge at the very last second. His entire body was trembling with adrenaline, and his eyes shone blue.

Kai fell onto his rear as his eyes reverted back to normal.

Nemona's widened eyes watched the destruction she had caused in front of her… and she saw that her body was radiating with a white aura.

It was exactly as Geeta described it when she awakened…to the second level of Flow.

The moment Nemona realized this, was when the power of Flow disappeared- her hair and eyes went back to normal in an instant.

But that didn't wipe away the huge smile on the girl's face. Her entire body was trembling with excitement. She clenched both of her fists…then leapt for joy.

"YES!" She cried. "That felt so GOOD! YES!"

Kai watched Nemona jumping for joy… and let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm alive…" He moaned.

Nemona quickly spun to Kai, rushed over to him and offered her hand to him.

"Wanna go again?" Nemona asked.

Kai looked up at Nemona, clearly still processing the shock. After a bit, Kai took in a determined breath through his nose, nodded and smiled as he took Nemona's hand.

"Of course!" Kai cried. "You'd better go all out again- I wanna see how long I'll last against you..!"

"You're so on!" Nemona grinned.

The both of them started to laugh.

Finally, Nemona thought. Finally, she found someone who could keep up with her. Sure, he wasn't strong enough to face her at her full strength for a long time... but the fact that he was willing to keep going, and even encouraged her to go all out...

She literally couldn't be happier.

Author's note: I'm almost as elated as Nemona is. I've been waiting to write that chapter for A LOOOOONG time.

I'm practicing how to add in flashbacks into the story without writing down '-Flashback-' in the story. Let me know if the transitions were smooth and easy to understand or not.