Okay, so I know that this is late... let me just say that. That being said, I will not regale you with the tale, but there's a very good reason. And of course, wanting to have a good chapter was part of it. Nothing like having to wait and not knowing why, to get a dinky, not good chapter.

And now that I said that, hopefully this chapter is good.

- Also, thank you to the guest that let me know that I had a chapter double posted. I believe I fixed the problem. Thanks!

"So Merrill," Hawke began speaking loudly. "We're here at the camp… didn't you say you had something to ask Keeper Marethari?" He asked, giving her a pointed look.

Merrill looked panicked at being put on the spot, and Marethari just smiled serenely and asked, "Yes da'len? What is it?"

Merrill looked as if she was in a stupor, saying "I… I … I …uh," causing Hawke to step over and put his hand on her shoulder, giving her his support, but not asking for her. She took a deep breath, and glanced at him with a timid smile, then turned back to the keeper and rapidly said, "I want to use the arulin'holm, Keeper."

"I see," Marethari answered, her hopeful expression replaced by one of grudging acceptance. "You wish to repair the mirror."

"You don't have to approve, Keeper, but I must see this through."

"I'm glad to know I can disapprove da'len," she replied tersely. "You are seeing only the benefits this path will give. Do you not remember Tamlen? Lost in the mirror before it was broken? Or Mahariel? Poisoned by it and withered away unto death by its corruption?"

"Of course I remember… how could I forget?!" Merrill exclaimed. "That is why I had to cleanse it!"

"This path is dangerous da'len. It will come at a price." Marethari spoke, even as she gave up arguing.

"A price I am more than willing to pay," Merrill responded. "The arulin'holm, Keeper."

"Very well," Marethari answered. "It belongs to us all, and I cannot keep it from you." She glanced around speculatively at Hawke and his group, thinking she could fell two birds with one stone.

"There is a varterral, nearby, and several hunters have not returned," Marethari said. "I would lose no more of our clan to it. Slay it, and I will give you the arulin' holm."

"All right!" Merrill agreed happily, feeling as if things were finally going right. She had stood up to the keeper, after all. Perhaps she could do other scary things!

Marethari nodded to Hawke, and stepped away. Hawke then turned to Merrill. "Now, was that so hard?" he teased.

"Harder than you know," Merrill answered, as her legs still felt shaky. "But I did it!" She turned to face Hawke. "And I couldn't have, without your help. Ma serannas Hawke!"

"No problem," he replied. "But now I need you to explain what is happening."

She smiled at him, and turned to lead him away from the camp, towards the caves where the hunters had gone. He gestured to the group as they walked, all of them stepping in and following after them as Merrill spoke.

"The artifacts the clan possesses are part of the dalish's history, and therefore belong to all dalish," she explained. "However, when we are to take one of themfor our use, we perform a task or service to the one we receive it from. In this case, we are doing a service for the clan, since that is who has the arulin' holm now."

"I see," Hawke replied. "And what, dare I ask, is a varterral?"

"A powerful creature," Merrill responded. "Normally it leaves our people alone… but the Keeper said that some hunters have not returned."

"Do we need to find these hunters as well?" Varric asked.

"No, though I would like to look for them," Merrill answered.

"Then we will," Hawke said.

The group was quiet as Merrill led them on. They could see the barren ground around them, completely different from the area the dalish were camped on. There was the dark maw of a cave in the distance, and they walked towards it without hesitation.

"Oh… Holy Hell!" Cat exclaimed as she sank to the ground, and took a closer look at the spider bite on her arm. She marveled at the fact that it got her only on the underside of her arm… it hadn't been able to pierce through her armor on the top.

"Let me see it," Anders said as he knelt down next to her. He gently took her arm, turning and raising it so that he could have a better view. "It's not too bad, though I'll need to get the poison out."

"That thing poisoned me?!" Cat demanded. She glanced over to her right, all the more angry and threw a small knife at the spider's corpse, where it stuck in it's head.

"Did that make you feel better?" Varric asked with a smirk, as he stepped over to get her knife for her.

"Yeah, actually, a little," she admitted.

"You're lucky it wasn't worse," Merrill spoke up. "These two were wasp spiders… very dangerous, and highly poisonous."

"Uh… Merrill?" Hawke called from across the cavern. "You'd better come see this."

Anders finished up with Cat just as Merrill came back, followed by Isabela and Hawke. "Are you sure you don't want to take the body back?" Hawke asked Merrill.

"No, just the amulet will be fine," she answered sadly. She held up the amulet and looked at it closely. "This signified her place as a hunter, and her family will keep it in remembrance."

"Very well," Hawke replied. "Shall we move on?" He asked everyone as he looked around at them. Receiving nods, and answered with Cat and Anders standing, he led out and the others followed.

Cat ended up being right behind Hawke and next to Merrill, so she decided to chat, and hopefully help raise Merrill's spirits.

"So Hawke, where's Hafter lately?" she asked. "It seems you don't bring him along much, and I miss the big guy."

"I'm certain he misses you as well," Hawke replied, slowing down slightly to converse. "Or, I should say he misses being spoiled by you."

"Then bring him with you next time!" she said with a chuckle.

Hawke gave a small smile before his face fell again. "Ever since we moved to the estate… well, let's just say I don't like to leave Mother unprotected."

"Oh," Cat replied. "That… makes complete sense, and I hadn't even thought of that. I'll have to just come spend time with Hafter when you are home then."

Hawke glanced over at her at the comment. "You're more than welcome to."

"Okay, we'll have to go over your schedule, so I know when to come then," she answered with a grin.

He smiled in reply. "Varric and I usually go over the schedule in the Hanged Man after the day's work. You can join us if you'd like," he offered.

She nodded. "I'll do that," she answered. "I was planning to go anyway to spend time with Issy, you know," she dropped her voice, "before she gets drunk."

"I don't get drunk every night," Isabela said from several feet behind them. "I only have enough to have a good time."

Cat turned and smiled. "Of course," she replied, and rolled her eyes.

"I leave for a few days, and you get all sassy on me," Isabela said with a smirk.

"Try weeks, and I've always been sassy," Cat replied, as she turned to face Isabela as she walked backwards.

"I prefer to think that you got your sass from me," Isabela retorted.

"Hey," Hawke interrupted. "Didn't I tell you not to do that?" he griped at Cat.

She rolled her eyes and turned back around. "I do know how to walk backwards without falling…" she muttered under her breath. Seeing his glare, she quickly changed the subject.

"So, would you prefer I stop all the hugs and kisses then?" she asked him, her mind recalling that he said she spoiled his mabari. He gave her a strange look, so she clarified. "I mean, I just love him, but if you think I'm spoiling him, then I'll stop."

"Uh…" Hawke said, baffled. "I know I lead the group Cat, but I… uh… you don't need my permission to hug or kiss someone…" he fidgeted uncomfortably, trying not to show how upset he was.

"Well yeah," she agreed. "But you're in charge of him, so I don't want to do anything you wouldn't like."

"Uh…" Hawke said again, as this time he came to a stop. He turned to face her, noting that Cat was smiling happily at him. In fact, everyone looks a little too happy right now, he thought as he took in the expressions on the others' faces. He glanced between Fenris and Anders several times, trying to discern if one of them was who Cat was talking about- she was quite close with both of them- but was unable to know for sure.

"Look…" he snipped. "I'm not in charge of everything Cat, just the jobs."

"What?" she questioned, confused by both his words and his tone. "He's your dog, isn't he?" she asked. She turned as well, looking at Varric. "Did I misunderstand?"

"No Little dove," Varric replied with a chuckle. "Hawke did," he said as the group tried to hold in their laughter, though a few snickers were heard. Cat's eyes widened slightly in understanding, before she too, held her mouth to keep her laughter in.

"Permission to get lucky tonight Hawke?" Isabela asked with a laugh, and the group let loose as Hawke glared at them.

"Ahem… " Hawke cleared his throat, trying to save face. "Yes, Cat, Hafter is mine, and no, I don't think you are truly spoiling him." He ignored Isabela's comment completely.

"If you didn't know I was talking about Hafter…" Cat said with a smirk. "Who did you think I was talking about?" she asked.

"I had no idea," Hawke replied primly. "Hence my confusion."

"Of course," Cat replied with a grin. "Though to be clear, I know I don't need your permission in my personal life."

That brought another round of snickers, and Hawke sighed loudly. "Yes, yes, very good," he said, wanting to change the subject quickly. He turned again and headed off, letting the others follow. You idiot, he told himself. You were there when the demon said her husband needed her. Her husband… which meant he needed to finally follow Isabela's advice, and just be her friend.

He wished Isabela had just told him straight out… so many things would now be different. Like that night… he thought.

He rolled his eyes as he heard continued jokes about what they would need to ask his permission for, and he wished fervently that something would happen to get them to drop this.

He got his wish, as corpses began to surround them. Thank the Maker, he thought as he started his first spell.

"Little dove, what's wrong?" Varric asked later that evening. They had returned to Kirkwall a little richer and with plenty of fodder for his stories. He was happy as he could be at the moment, and he thought that most of the crew were as well.

Daisy had received her arula- whatever, and practically skipped through Lowtown on her way home. Blondie and Button were helping mages escape the circle tonight, which always put him in a good mood. Hawke had led them on do-gooder business that somehow made him and Aveline both happy. And even Broody had smiled as Rivaini made up a game about guessing the color of his underclothes.

But the Little dove… ever since they had made it out of the caves and returned to the dalish camp, she had been unhappy. Even finding a demon-possessed book and destroying it hadn't helped her mood.

He waited, but she didn't reply. "You know I'll keep asking, so you might as well tell me," he said to her. She looked up and around the table they were seated at in the Hanged Man, with Hawke and Broody.

"I'm upset about that hunter, Pol."

Varric paused, thinking back. "The one that ran from Daisy?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I can't help but think that if I had just reacted faster, I could have stopped him… saved him," she stressed the last part, and Varric could see the guilt she was carrying.

"Little dove," he said gently. "There was no way to know that he was going to run off, or that he'd run right into the varterral. Don't be too hard on yourself."

The stricken look on her face was as if he had reared back and slapped her, not tried to comfort her. Her eyes filled with tears, and his widened in shock. "What did I say?" he asked.

"Nothing," Fenris said as he gripped Cat's shoulder, turning her to look at him. "She'll be better after some sleep, right?" he asked Cat.

She recognized the way out he was giving her, and she gratefully took it, and nodded. "I'm sorry Varric, it's hard for me to not feel like I should have done more," she said to help set him at ease.

"Varric is right," Hawke added. "You do not give yourself enough credit. You continued after him, and tried to help him even as the varterral attacked. I don't know that anyone in the same situation could have done any better," he said with a small smile. "You did well today," he added.

"Thank you," she replied. "I will try to remember that."

"See that you do," Hawke replied, as Fenris stood, and left money for their food and drinks. Cat also stood, but Hawke stopped her.

"Cat," he said, and she turned to look at him. "Regret and guilt only eat away at you. Do not let them stay long, or you will never let them go… believe me."

Cat nodded, knowing some of the guilt and regret he carried with him daily. She only wished letting it go was that easy.

As soon as they had left the tavern, and began walking home, Fenris spoke. "They are right, you know."

"I think you of all people understand why they are not," she replied without looking at him.

"I understand," he said. "Were you not the first to tell me, that you are not some divine being… that you did not know the future? Can you truly tell me that trying to stop him would have been successful?"

"You know I cannot," she replied sulkily. "But I didn't even try!" She lowered her voice again as she realized how loud her outburst was. "I completely forgot about it! If I had just thought ahead… I probably could have saved him."

They walked in silence for awhile, reaching Hightown and their mansion without speaking. Fenris escorted her through the house and up the stairs, before clearing his throat outside of her room.

"I wanted to be sure that I had my words thought through, though they may still be inadequate," he started, causing her to roll her eyes with a smile.

"How often have I told you how eloquent you actually are?" she asked in return.

He cleared his throat the way he always did when embarrassed with praise. "I will not say that you have no fault or guilt in this, because I can understand why you think you do. I will only say that you also cannot take all the blame."

After the months of friendship, and now as roommates, she had learned that he gradually would make his point, and so she waited for him to continue.

"Regardless of what role you may have played in this, he is still responsible for the consequences of his own actions. He chose to run away. Whether you could have stopped him is not the issue. He could have stayed and faced what he feared. He could have tried to kill Merrill for being a blood mage. He could have run in another direction."

"Well… yes…" she said as she thought through these new ideas.

"You may regret your lack of action, but it is not the only factor in this. We all make decisions that we regret. As Hawke said… you can let it stay, or you can become better for it."

"Thank you…" she murmured, deep in thought.

"Good night Cat," he said with a nod, and turned away.

"Oh, and Fenris?" Cat called.

"Yes?" he said as he looked back.

"Your words, and your friendship, are far more than adequate, just so you know. Good night." She smiled to herself at the shock he wore whenever she caught him off guard with a compliment.

"Catarina, how nice to see you again."

"Thank you Leandra," Cat replied as the other woman came forward to grab her hand and squeeze it.

"What brings you here?"

"I came to get Hafter, though I need to make sure Garrett is home?" she said. "I promised I wouldn't leave you here alone."

"Oh that boy…" Leandra huffed. "Sometimes he acts as if he were the parent and I the child!"

"I think it is sweet," Cat replied, looking around the room that always seemed to fascinate her. The huge fireplace, the vaulted ceilings, the chandelier… it was all beautiful.

"That may be the reason I don't throw a fit about it," Leandra said with a chuckle. Her face became solemn as she continued. "He's been through so much loss, it is understandable why we hold on tightly to each other."

"That's true," Cat said with a gentle smile.

"We still have Carver… somewhere, but it is enough to know that I have not lost him completely."

"Yes, and he is in good hands," Cat said. "The Warden Commander and Constable are both great men who care deeply for those they are in charge of."

"Do you know them?" Leandra asked, surprised.

"Oh, uh… yes. I ran into them, literally, in Ferelden during the blight. They saved me from darkspawn and helped me get passage out on Isabela's ship. We write each other, though the letters are few and far between due to the distance and the fact that they are always on the move." Cat paused, looking at the hope on Leandra's face. "Um… I can ask about Carver in my next letter, if you'd like?" she asked.

"Would you?" Leandra said excitedly. "Any news you could get would be such a blessing! The Maker must have a hand in this, I am sure!"

Cat stood awkwardly as Leandra hugged her again and again. She wasn't quite sure how to handle herself, being that they weren't exactly close. So she stood there, and took her cues from Leandra.

"It's no problem, though not many know that I am friends with them, so…" Cat started.

"Say no more, I understand completely!" Leandra said with a knowing smile. "Truly, I don't know how I can thank you!"

"Really, it's nothing," Cat said with a smile. "I'm happy to."

"I know, while we wait for Garrett, let's have a snack and visit. Would you care to join me?"

"Thank you, that sounds lovely," Cat replied, feeling more comfortable already. Leandra simply had a way about her, that seemed to tear through any doubt or awkwardness that Cat had. Each time she met Hawke's mother, she liked her even more.

"Well come on then," she said as she took Cat's arm. I hope you don't mind that there aren't any servants," she stated as she led Cat to the kitchen. "I went so long doing things for myself, that we only have Bodahn and his son Sandal here with us to help run the house."

"I don't mind at all, as I've never had servants before," Cat replied with a grin. Leandra gestured towards a seat, and started making tea.

"You know, there was a time I was hoping that you had taken an interest in my Carver," Leandra said.

"Yes, I picked up on that," Cat said with a smile, and Leandra shrugged.

"You can't blame a mother for trying. We all just want to see our children happy."

"True, but you didn't even know me," Cat pointed out. "I'm pretty sure we would have made each other miserable."

"I agree, though it still saddens me," she answered. "You would have given me pretty grandchildren."

Cat spluttered at that, and felt something catch in her throat, causing her to start coughing roughly. Thumping her chest, she coughed and wheezed until she was able to breathe again.

"So- sorry," she managed to get out.

Leandra gave her a smile, and put a hand on her hip. "Struck a nerve, did I?" she said, then picked up the tray she had prepared, and brought it over to sit near Cat. Pouring them each a cup, she settled down and took a sip.

"So then, Catarina…" She gave Cat another smile that she was instantly wary of. "Every time we have run into each other, I've seen you with a different man… my sons included. Which one is yours?"

Hawke watched as Cat practically ran from his house as soon as he returned. He slowly turned to gaze at the woman at his side. "Mother? What did you say to her?"

"Hmm? Why, whatever do you mean darling?" she asked innocently. "We just had some tea and talked a little. Nothing for you to worry about."

"Nothing?" he stopped, knowing a losing battle when he saw one. "Mother, she couldn't leave fast enough," he said to prove his point.

"Well yes, dear. You took much longer than you said you were. I imagine she is late for meeting with the Knight Captain."

"What? The Knight Captain?! Why is she meeting him?"

"Oh, well I didn't think to ask…" she replied. "Should I have?"

"No, no." Hawke closed his eyes as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Tell me dear, what is it that troubles you?" she asked him quietly, and he sighed.

"I'm trying to be her friend. I'm having a rough go of it," he admitted. "I don't think I have her trust."

She led him over to the bench in the foyer, and they sat. "Why not? It is apparent that she respects you," she said.

"Not trust in fighting… more…" he broke off.

She smiled gently and squeezed his hand. "I know this is hard for you. Being who you are, your father felt it imperative to teach you to school your emotions from such a young age, in order to hide you better." They sat quietly for a few moments, and then she asked, "Is there an example you can think of?"

He nodded, as one such example had been on his mind all yesterday and through that day as well. "We were fighting some demons," he said, and he barreled on when he heard his mother's gasp. "And I was going to help her. She was not giving in, though the demon spoke of her husband."

He turned to look at her, expecting a gasp that time, but not hearing one. Leandra was deep in thought. "And… you didn't know that," she stated.

"No… I didn't. That is a rather important piece of information, and she kept it from me. Me mother, not all of us… just me."

"Are you certain?" she asked, and he shook his head, somewhat sullenly.

"Did you know?" he demanded.

She hesitated, but then nodded. "Though, I only found out today."

"How?!" he asked.

"I asked."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Garrett, I think I see what the problem is here."

"What?" he asked, wincing, as he was sure he was going to be lectured.

"Friendship, the kind you are seeking here, is double sided. Eventually, the shared experiences you have will build that, but if you don't share of yourself, why would she?" Leandra stood up, reaching out a hand for him. "These other friends… so they spend time together, outside of the jobs you do?"

He nodded. "Constantly."

"I think you have your answer," she stated, and walked inside.

He peered out from under his hood, pulling it back slightly to keep his peripheral vision wide, but not so far as to reveal his features. It would do no good to spoil the surprise after all.

He watched as his target entered the tavern, and he settled himself to wait with a smirk. I should give him time to celebrate…" he thought to himself, seeing as he will be dead before the dawn.

He was impatient, though the source was not the man he waited for that night. The last letter he received from Leliana was lacking the information he sought. He could hardly be mad at her, as she knew the task he was undertaking. And as a good friend, was helping him from making a decision that he may later regret.

So you don't know where Little dove is… Leliana agreed to pass on letters, and even promised not to read them. But have you written? No.

He sighed inwardly. Why a letter should be so difficult, he couldn't say, but he had discarded each attempt. It was an ongoing argument inside his head, and he was once again at an impasse.

Zevran had sworn to protect her, and such oaths were not easily set aside. Yet from what Leliana had told him, his Dove had made herself a new life, and he didn't want to drag her back into the shadows with him.

He was told that Isabela was fulfilling her side of the bargain and more, and his dove could now take care of herself, but that only made him wonder, what exactly Isabela had been teaching her.

He scowled. The thought was at once tantalizing and maddening. Until he saw with his own eyes, he would not be satisfied. Leliana knew this about him, and so, had ignored his request for her location- knowing that he needed to finish his self-appointed task.

And now we come to the crux of it all… Zevran thought. The most frustrating part of it was the monster he was trying to rid the world of. Yet with each kill, the monster grew instead of waned, and he found himself immersing back into the life he thought he escaped, in order to discover how to destroy it once and for all.

That is the greatest worry of all… that my little dove would be strong enough… and want to help. That… that I must prevent at all costs… Zevran steeled himself again, the argument taking its circular course, and ending as it had each time previously.

He glanced up at the movement, noting with a wicked grin that his target had exited the building. Soon, Little dove, he thought. I will finish this… soon.