Cat groaned, panting heavily as she finally stopped. Leliana didn't let up, and grabbed her arm to keep her going.

"Leli, I need to rest," Cat complained.

"You can rest once we get to the Keep," came the reply, and Cat groaned again.

"We haven't seen a sign of anyone following us since we boarded the ship, and that was weeks ago," Cat said as she panted.

Leliana stopped suddenly, pulling Cat with her around a corner, and behind a stack of barrels. She turned, giving her friend a hard look.

"Do you know how I am able to keep you alive?" Leliana asked, and then continued without giving Cat a chance to respond. "By not assuming that you are safe. And if you want to stay alive after I leave you, you need to learn the same lesson."

Cat slowed her heart rate by taking more deep breaths, as she looked at her friend. And then finally nodded. "You're right."

Leliana's eyebrow rose. "And what am I right about?" she asked.

Cat knew Leliana wasn't one to crow about being right- at least not about serious topics like this. She was more concerned about Cat getting the point she was trying to make.

"I thought no one knew we left, or even who we were, and I thought we were safe."

"And?" Leliana asked.

"And I was almost killed," Cat replied, her hand going to her side, where she had a bandage wrapped around her. Leliana was the only reason she was badly injured instead of dead.

The redhead nodded curtly, and sighed. "We've done what we can, and sent out decoys," Leliana said quietly. "And it is true, that nothing happened on the voyage, but we don't know if that is because no one followed us. Trying to kidnap someone while on a boat would hardly be wise, for how would they get their prize off the ship without suspicion?"

"I didn't think of that," Cat replied, cursing her own naivety, and Leliana smiled gently at her.

"No, but you are learning," she said. "Most would think we sailed to Highever if we were going to Ferelden, not Amaranthine, so there is a chance we are not being followed." She moved to peer around the barrels, and nodded. "All right, here is the plan," she started, getting Cat's attention. "I will go to the Keep, and see if he is there. If not, we'll have to continue on. You take this," she said, handing Cat a pouch of coins.

"What am I buying?" Cat asked. "Supplies?"

"Some dried food, and more water skins," Leliana said with a nod. "Easy to travel with. Then go to that tavern there, and get a meal," she said as she pointed. "Make sure to ask about inns, give the impression that you are looking for work and plan to stay in town."

"Got it," Cat replied, tying the pouch to her belt, behind her cloak so it would be out of sight. "Won't they be surprised to see you alone, without your entourage?" she asked.

"I usually sneak in," Leliana answered with a smile. "See how far I can get to the commander before I am caught. You know how much he hates surprises."

Cat snickered, as she indeed recalled his intense distaste for pranks, and Leliana's obvious delight at the chance to perform one now. "Well, I just hope he's here. After over two weeks of traveling, I'm ready for a bed."

"Here Daisy, have a drink on me," Varric said kindly, gesturing Merrill to take the seat next to him.

"Thanks Varric," she replied, sitting down and looking unhappy.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "I guess I just feel restless. We haven't had a job since we got back."

Norah came by with the glass of wine for Merrill, who took it with a shy smile. "It's good to see one of Varric's friends here again," she said, ignoring the yelling from other patrons. "It seems like forever since I've seen any of you in here!"

"You know how busy our Champion is Norah," Varric said with a roll of his eyes. He had said as much several times now.

"Yes, but what about all the others?" she asked with a frown. "I miss seeing all of them, especially Cat. She always has a smile or a kind word." She stopped talking, seeing the dwarf and elf in front of her pout.

"She's visiting a cousin in Orlais," Varric said, lifting his eyes to Norah's gaze. "I'll be sure to let her know you asked after her the next time I write."

Norah smiled and thanked him, then left to continue her work.

"I wish we really did know where she was so we could write," Merrill said sadly.

"Me too Daisy," Varric replied, taking another drink.

"But if I were actually wishing, I would just wish she were here," Merrill continued, looking like she was going to cry.

"Daisy?" Varric asked softly, concerned. "You okay?"

"No," Merrill replied quietly. "I don't know how to fix it, I only know Cat would know what to do."

"Fix what?" Varric asked.

"I…" she said. "I just feel… like I've lost all my friends," she finally said, though her voice was so soft, he barely caught it. "I feel all alone."

Varric sat still as the guilt hit him. He knew he had been busy, especially since taking the time to go to that duke's stupid hunt. It was something he knew everyone regretted, and refused to speak about.

He had just assumed that the others were still doing the same, though if he were being honest, he knew Hawke had immersed himself in the city's affairs.

Thinking of Hawke, Varric shook his head. He wasn't sure what he could do for Hawke, he'd already tried everything he could think of. He glanced back over to his current companion. He might not be able to help Hawke, but he could help Merrill.

"The Little Dove isn't the only one that can fix that," he said, reaching over and giving her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry, Daisy."

He smiled sheepishly as she looked at him in awe. "I'll do my best, but it will probably take time. Maybe try getting to know some of your neighbors in the alienage?" he suggested. "Doesn't the dress makers that Little Dove uses live there?"

"Well?" Cat asked, as Leliana sat down in front of her.

"No one," came the reply.

"So we keep moving," Cat said with a groan, and Leliana smirked at her.

"You say that as if you don't want to travel with me anymore," she said with a chuckle.

"You know very well that isn't why," Cat answered tersely. "I merely don't want to sleep on the ground any more."

Leliana leaned in, to prevent any others from eavesdropping. "I know, my friend. But just think how our friends will welcome us once we get to Soldier's Peak?" she said quietly as her eyes twinkled in delight.

Cat smiled back, even as she passed some of her meal to her friend. "You've got me there," she replied. "You're not leaving right away, are you?"

"I'll see you settled first," Leliana said, grabbing a biscuit, some meat and cheese to make a sort of sandwich. "Let's see about that room you found?" she asked, a little more clearly, intending for that to be overheard by any close by.

"It's not much," Cat said, as she stood and gathered her things, leaving money for the waitress. "But I think you'll like how clean it is."

They left without any more words, and Leliana let Cat lead her from the tavern, and through several streets of the town before taking the lead. She double backed, and took several turns in quick succession, before they hid and watched for anyone seeming to follow them.

Finding nothing, they waited a little longer for night to fall, and then slipped over the wall, not wanting to be seen leaving by the gate. If anyone were waiting for them there, they would be disappointed.

"Hello Aveline."

The Guard Captain looked up, surprised to see the elf in front of her desk. "Fenris?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I…" he started, looking uncomfortable, and angry… though she couldn't fathom why. "I need help," he stated in aggravation.

"All right," she replied, concerned. "Uh, do you want to sit down?"

"No, I don't want to sit down!" he growled, as he began pacing.

Aveline blinked a few times, taken aback by his sudden aggression. It had been quite awhile since she had seen this side of him rear its ugly head.

"Then, why don't you tell me what you need?" she offered, though without letting any of the sympathy she felt inside be shown to him.

He turned to glare at her, and sighed. "I apologize, I simply do not like to involve others in personal business, but I do not know what else to do!"

"Apology accepted," she said, her tone still business like. "How can I help?" she asked. She was still somewhat rigid about it, but it made him feel more at ease.

"I've been trying to find out more information on this supposed sister," he began, and Aveline sat back to listen. The more she heard, the more his voice betrayed his confusion and anguish. She couldn't help but want to assist him.

And she couldn't help but wonder what had happened with Hawke… to make Fenris decide to come to her.

Aveline knocked on the door, already wondering if she was doing the right thing by trying to knock some sense into Hawke. He was furious with everyone, and instead of lashing out as they all thought he would, he had retreated into himself.

The trip home from the wyvern hunt had been awkward and painful, as his crew had tried to respect his sorrow, and leave Hawke be. He had refused to speak to anyone, and they had thought that he simply needed time.

But on returning to Kirkwall, they had found another mess, as the Chantry had given Meredith the power to act as the Viscount and protect the city, since the Champion was away. Seeing him returned, meant that Hawke still had the backing of the people, which gave him plenty of support even from the Chantry, yet he was constantly fighting with Meredith on her decisions for the good of the city.

Aveline had no idea what Meredith's problem with Hawke actually was, but she used him as a reason to enforce more restrictions on the mages in the circle. If Hawke tried to help, or fight her, she would merely tighten the noose even more.

Hawke was backed into a corner, but he wouldn't back down. He became secretive, and if Aveline was any judge, seemed to be fighting a war on two sides- One, helping Aveline keep the city safe in keeping the laws. And two- she suspected he was helping Anders and his underground as well, though she couldn't prove it.

She hardly saw Anders anymore, in fact it seemed as though Hawke kept them apart on purpose, as if he worried that she would turn on him or something. She had tried to dissuade him of that fact, but it made no difference.

Aveline wished again as she had many times, that they had never gone to that hunt- or that Cat had come back with them.

The door opened, and Bodahn gestured her inside. She gave a nod and spoke a thank you before asking after Hawke. Bodahn did not get a chance to answer, as Hawke came into the room from the library, followed by Varric, who was speaking.

"All I'm saying is that things are different Hawke, and nobody is happy about it!" Varric said grumpily. "We are a team, but we haven't been acting like it."

"If the team isn't all together, it isn't a team, Varric," Hawke replied, as he turned slightly upon seeing his new guest. "Aveline," he said with a nod.

"Aveline, good to see you," Varric said, and Aveline felt her mouth twitch up in a smile. He sounded genuinely happy to see her, and felt the same. She'd never admit it out loud, but she had missed seeing the big-mouthed dwarf.

"Varric," she replied with a nod. "Hawke."

"What brings you here?" Hawke asked.

"I suspect, the same as Varric," she answered, and while Hawke frowned, Varric grinned.

"Really?" they both said, though their tones had the meanings differing greatly.

"Fenris came to see me today," she answered. "It seems he needed some help, which I am happy to give. But I couldn't help but wonder why he would come to me instead of you, Hawke."

Hawke looked up, as if asking the heavens themselves for help. "I don't know, why didn't you simply ask him?" he replied. "I'm not a mind reader, and Fenris is probably the hardest person to read in general."

"My point is," Aveline answered dryly, "that things are different," she said, using Varric's words from moments before. "I suppose I was simply wondering if we are no longer your crew."

"You're the bloody Guard Captain," Hawke pointed out, only to have Aveline shrug at him. His eyes narrowed, and he looked more closely at her. "What? What aren't you telling me?" he asked.

"It's nothing I can't handle," she answered, for she truly believed that to be true. "Rumors about distaste in my methods as captain. But it did make me think, and then wonder why I didn't tell my friends about it. Then I realized I hadn't seen my friends since we came back from that awful hunt."

She was sorry she had mentioned it when she saw Hawke take in a shaky breath, and release it. She gave a small smile. "Kirkwall has always had its issues, but I wouldn't change coming here," she said. "I met Donnic, and I'll be forever grateful for that, but also Hawke, because of you."

She looked at him, as he and Varric stared at her, almost in disbelief. "Yeah," she muttered. "I know I'm not one to share feelings and whatever, but I may actually miss seeing some of you."

"Hawke, this isn't on you, not really," Varric said, taking over as Hawke practically collapsed into a chair. "We all needed some time and space, and not seeing Little Dove has been hard on everyone-"

"Aargh!" Hawke interrupted with a growl of annoyance, getting up from his chair.

"I'm not done!" Varric said loudly, and Hawke turned in bafflement.

Varric… yelled at me… he thought in shock as he sat back down.

"You're not the only one missing her," Varric continued, and started raising fingers as he counted off their friends. "Isabela, Fenris and Anders all act as if they lost their best friend… which I'm guessing they actually did. And of course, they act as if they don't care. Not one of us has even bothered to check on Merrill, who feels abandoned, and I have no idea what Choir boy is even up to," he said, getting more worked up as he went on.

"This is the first time I've seen Aveline since we got back to Kirkwall, and everyone is basically afraid to see or even speak to you because you've been so angry with us, and we didn't know what else to do, but give you space."

He watched as several emotions passed over Hawke's face, from surprise, to anger, then guilt, and back to anger. "We all thought we would go hunt these Crows, finish it so that Little Dove could come home, but all we've done is act like she died," Varric finished.

He didn't know what else to say, and Hawke looked up at him, the fire of anger burning in his eyes. "Are you done?" he asked, and Varric nodded unhappily.

"I'll apologize, because it has taken me so long to get myself in order," Hawke said, looking between the two of them from his seat. "Yes, I was angry at everyone, and yes, I couldn't handle seeing anyone. I said I needed space and I did."

"All right," Aveline replied, unsure of his point.

"But."

The pair looked to him, hearing the determination and surety in his voice now, happy to hear it again, though wondering what he would say.

"I'm not going to hunt the Crows. You can if you wish, but I will not."

"Hawke?" Varric asked, baffled.

Garrett stood now, running his hand through his tousled hair. "I am angry, but not at all of you. I'm angry with Cat."

"You are?" Aveline asked in surprise.

Hawke nodded. "She left me, yes, but she left us. The crew. She didn't believe in us, didn't trust us to help." He looked back up at the ceiling helplessly, and yet still angry. "It's true, that we didn't know how to handle things, but we would have gotten there. We could have gone hunting those Crows all together.

"Instead," he continued as he began pacing the floor, "she is given an opportunity to run, and she snatched it up without thinking of how it would affect us, without so much as an explanation, without even a goodbye!" He stopped, and turned to the two of them. "And it infuriates me," he growled.

"I assumed, and perhaps that is where I went wrong," Hawke continued. "But I assumed that everyone would be talking of how much they missed her, or apologizing to me, or trying to make me feel better. And I didn't want to fight with any of my friends because of how I was feeling. Even now, knowing I don't want to be angry, I still am. I can't seem to get rid of it."

He paced again, coming up to the wall, where he reared back and punched it, causing the healing scabs on his knuckles to bleed again. "I'm making myself sick thinking of her, worrying about her… and I wonder sometimes- if I see her again, will I pull her into my arms, or will I strike out? The fact that I have no idea worries me a little."

He turned to them again, giving a small humorless laugh. "It's not often one sees Varric Tethras, speechless," he said.

"I.. uh, I wish I had known you were feeling this way," Varric said uncertainly. "I don't know what I would have done, but at least I could have been more understanding."

"I just barely figured it out myself," Hawke replied. "I've been out of sorts for awhile now… ever since I heard her say to Merrill that she loved me," he admitted. "I've been confused and elated, and overwhelmed, and yes, angry and jealous and possessive," he said with a tiny smirk. "It's exhausting. And I can't do it anymore… but more importantly, I don't want to."

"I'm fairly certain feelings don't just go away because you want them to," Aveline spoke up gently. "I've been through that wringer myself."

"Yes, that's true," Hawke replied. "But I decided not to let them rule me any longer. Cat's not even here, so trying to figure that all out is no longer necessary at this time. If she comes back, I'll figure it out then. For now? I'm just trying to not be angry."

"I think your friends might be able to help you with that," Varric said with a smile. "Not to mention, this city practically needs a nanny," he added, and was pleased that Hawke gave a genuine laugh this time.

"It's funny only because it is so true," he said, still chuckling. "What do think I've been doing all this time?! If it's not slavers, its blood mages, Meredith and her templars, the carta, or corrupt nobles all trying to take over the city. You'd think they would see the problems I'm having and decide to go find a better one!"

They laughed for a moment, shaking their heads at the irony of it all, before Hawke came forward, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Come on, let's go find the others, and put our crew to rights."

"Best idea I think you've ever had Hawke," Aveline said with a smile.

After speaking for a time,they split up, Aveline practically shoving Hawke toward Fenris' home in order to speak with him privately. She volunteered to fetch Anders, and then Sebastian on their way back, and Varric offered to go to the alienage for Merrill, saying she would helpful in getting a drunk Isabela to come along.

Hawke agreed, and called Hafter to join him. They would all gather at Fenris' mansion and have the talk that he had been putting off for awhile. He worried that after everything they had been through, his friends wouldn't be happy with his attitude towards Cat, but after speaking with Varric and Aveline, he had more hope.

Of course, Varric and Aveline were not the same as Isabela, Fenris and Anders. He had once told Cat that he wanted to know her like those three did, precisely because of the special bond they seemed to have.

Zevran lifted his eyes even as he sheathed his daggers and listened intently. Even he could admit that he was a much better assassin than he had been previously, even months before. Being hunted and tracked by the Crows added the necessity for him to be even more stealthy, if he wanted to stay alive of course.

Where once he enjoyed company and the pleasures of such, now he spent his time alone, and in a constant state of awareness that kept him on edge, and alive. He thought back to the months of tracking, hardly sleeping and staying out of contact that he had gone through, and was resolute that he find what he needed to finish this chase once and for all.

He began moving, having heard nothing after his kill, but he would have been surprised if someone had noticed him. He knew there were several more inside, and so he waited. They would lead him directly to where he needed to be- he simply had to be patient.

Climbing a mountain wasn't high on Cat's to do list, but she couldn't help but enjoy the time. She spoke with Leliana about everything and everyone, including Zevran and what he would be up to.

Leliana didn't have much insight there, since she hadn't heard from Zev in quite awhile, but based on what Cat told her, she surmised that he was continuing to wage his personal war on the Crows, and somehow they had gained information on her that was allowing them to fight back. Her faith in the assassin helped Cat feel better about the whole situation.

Cat had questioned her decision to leave several times, and Leliana let her. She could have played devil's advocate, and had in fact at first, but Cat knowing that she had left to keep her friends safe didn't help her feel right about it, so Leliana stayed quiet.

Eventually, Cat changed the subject, asking Leliana about her work with the Chantry, Mother Dorothea, and the Seekers of Truth. If she was surprised at Cat's knowledge, she didn't show it, and spoke for awhile about what was happening in her life. She mentioned how Divine Beatrix had named Dorothea as her successor, and how the two of them had gone to speak to Cassandra Pentaghast about the future.

"Did you like her?" Cat asked, interrupting Leliana's train of thought.

"Cassandra?" Leliana asked, and then nodded. "I did, very much. She and I have differing ways of thinking or points of view, but I agreed with Mother Dorothea, that we would work well together. Our strengths can work together to do much good."

Seeing Cat's smile, she continued. "Do you know of her then?" she asked.

"Yes," Cat replied. "Dorothea is able to convince her to continue to be the Right Hand of the Divine during her reign, while you will be her Left." Cat looked over, seeing Leliana's look of pleasure. "She'll be a great Divine from what I can remember, though my so called knowledge is practically at its end."

Leliana looked at her friend, feeling Cat was lying, but uncertain if it was the comment of her knowledge or the type of Divine Dorothea would be. "Why do you say that?" she asked vaguely.

"This story, that I was told about Thedas… it is almost done, and so my knowledge will be as well," Cat answered. "There is some more about Kirkwall, and the fight between mages and templars, and its aftermath. But even then… its been five years since I've heard it Leli," Cat explained. "I know there are things I am not remembering correctly, if at all."

"I… see," Leliana answered. "I'm sure that would be disconcerting."

Cat turned with a smirk. "To say the least." She heaved a sigh, "I'd rather not think of that just now," she said. "Quick, tell me something to distract me."

Leliana smiled, and shook her head. "Very well…" she said as she thought of just the thing. "Some time ago, I received a letter from Sten."

Cat whipped her head around to look at her in shock. "Seriously? I never thought Sten wrote to you!"

"It doesn't happen often, it's true," Leliana conceded. "But this was a special case. It seems he had been made the Arishok, and was going through interviews and such to ascertain what had happened to the previous one."

"Oh…" Cat mumbled.

"Yes, your name came up, and he was curious enough to find out if it was truly you. I made sure he knew that you were merely a friend of those involved."

"Leli, that's not exactly accurate…" Cat said, feeling guilty.

"Yes, well, what else was I supposed to say, when he asked about why there was writing of an Isabela and Kitty written inside their sacred text?" she continued with a smirk, seeing Cat's mouth drop open.

"You're…. kidding. Right? Please tell me you are joking with me right now."

"Unfortunately, I am not. He didn't seem too angry, in fact he wanted to speak to you about it personally."

"Maker save me," Cat breathed, her hand on her rapidly beating heart. "Sten wants to kill me, doesn't he?!"

"No, silly. He actually seemed somewhat amused, if I take his tone correctly. He said something about how it will serve as a reminder to his people that though they do not understand bas women, they should not underestimate them."

"If and when you reply, please convey my sincere apologies. I had nothing to do with that, and the next time I see Isabela, I'm going to smack her upside the head," Cat replied even as she rubbed her temples.

Leliana laughed, the musical sound of it helping Cat calm herself, until she too eventually was laughing. "I can't believe she did that! And why did she have to put my name too?!" Cat exclaimed through her laughter.

They fell into silence as the climb became a little steeper, and they got closer to their goal. Leliana came to a stop, and turned to Cat. "So, we're almost there. I guess the only thing to decide now, is if we go in the front, or see who can get the furthest before getting caught?" she said in challenge.

"Haven't you been here before?" Cat asked wryly. "That's puts me at a disadvantage."

Leliana smirked, and looked around. "Very well, we'll go in together, and split up from there. I'll give you the layout of the building, but I am certain things have changed since I was last here."

"Sounds fair," Cat agreed. "And what does the winner get?"

"Hmm, you'll owe me one, I guess?" Leliana smiled.

"Or you'll owe me one," Cat replied, eyes narrowed.

"Of course, of course!" Leliana laughed. "Let's go!"

Anders didn't even spare Aveline a glance. "I don't have time for you now," he said resuming his furious writing.

"Again, this isn't for me. Hawke is gathering everyone. You're part of the crew Anders, so you should come."

"Hawke can just fill me in later," Anders said flippantly. "I've got to finish this."

She looked over at him, baffled. She knew Anders could be hardheaded at times, but she never knew him to ignore his friends. Usually he was lonely enough from hiding that he joined anytime they were getting together, even if it wasn't all of them.

"Can't you finish it later?" she asked. "Or maybe we can help… or something?" He did turn at that, giving her an incredulous look. "Okay… maybe not. Look, it's just that Varric was confronting Hawke about what happened with Cat… and a lot was said. I think you'll regret not being there."

Anders put down his quill, rolling his eyes. "You won't let this go, will you?" he asked.

"Probably not," she admitted. "I can be stubborn too, you know."

He stood then, covering his ink bottle, and putting the quill away. "Fine," he said. He stood, moving across the room as he rolled his shoulders. He pointed to a couple of boxes, and asked, "can you grab those for me? Might as well take the delivery to the Rose while I'm out."

"You're still doing that?" Aveline asked in surprise.

"Why would I stop?" he asked, giving her a look. "It's my source of income."

"I don't know, I guess I thought it was Cat's thing that's all. I didn't mean anything by it."

He glared at her for a moment or two before sighing. "Yeah, it is. And we were partners in this, so I'll keep it up." He grabbed his coat, throwing it on, and grabbing his staff, as she carted the boxes over to the door.

"I'm right behind you," he said, and turned toward a curtained area, knocking on the post. A nervous looking man peeked out, and had Aveline wondering who he was.

"I'm going out for awhile," Anders said softly. "and meeting with the Champion. I'll extinguish the lamps, so you won't be bothered."

He received a nod, and noticed the other man's fearful look toward Aveline. "She's a guard, not a templar, and she's a friend," Anders said easily. "You have no reason to fear, Adrius." Waiting until he nodded, looking relieved, Anders then turned and made his way back to Aveline, and they left the clinic.

Anders took a moment to secure the door and extinguish the lamp hanging outside. He waited, knowing Aveline would ask before long.

"So who is he?" she asked once they were leaving the area.

"Hmm, you held back longer than I thought you could," he said with a hint of a smile. "Someone Hawke saved," he answered, "from being made tranquil."

She frowned in thought, and he knew she would want to know- for her own sense of justice. He also knew that while she followed the laws, she had a deep sense of honor, and used that in place of laws or people in power that were wrong.

"He saved a civilian who was injured, using magic. It was deemed that he did not have permission to do so, so the Knight Commander declared that he be made tranquil."

"What?!" Aveline raged. "Surely he should have been commended, not punished!"

"Agreed," Anders said, able to relax a little more than he had in several days. "Which is why someone leaked the information to Hawke, and he came to me. The mage underground was able to get him out before the sentence was carried out."

"Thank the Maker for small mercies," she replied, as she glanced at him. "I know you and I don't always see things eye to eye," she said. "But, I would never report your clinic, or the mage underground. Even I can see the good that you are doing there."

Anders' eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Just… don't make me regret it, all right?" she continued, and he chuckled.

That was more like the Aveline he knew, he thought. "I'll do my best," he said.

"Are you drunk?" Hawke asked.

"Who cares?" Fenris replied, rolling his eyes, and turning around to walk away from the door. He swayed a little, the only indication that he had had too much of his wine.

"I do," Hawke replied, as he let himself and Hafter in the house, and closed the door behind them. "I know things haven't been… ideal lately…" he said, stopping when he heard Fenris snort in derision.

"Ideal…" Fenris repeated, flopping down in a chair, and raising the wine bottle to his lips to take another few swallows. "Just get it over with Hawke."

"Okay…" Garrett said, feeling as if Fenris wouldn't be accepting his apology. Perhaps he was too late after all, and Aveline was mistaken. "I'm sorry."

"So am I," Fenris spat out. "But that doesn't matter, does it?"

"What?" Hawke asked, baffled.

"I did what I thought was right, for everyone. It is obvious I am not strong enough to keep her safe. I could not keep my promises, and do not deserve forgiveness."

"Wait, just wait," Hawke said, trying to make sense of Fenris' rant. "What are you saying?"

"Fenedhis!" Fenris exclaimed. "Just order me to leave, or whatever you're going to do Hawke. I can't take this any more!"

Garrett stepped back, the words taking him completely by surprise. Was I really so self involved that I didn't notice his suffering? he asked himself.

"Fenris…" he started softly, even as Hafter moved over to nudge Fenris' arm with his snout. "I don't… blame you. For anything."

Fenris looked up at that, shocked as well, and disbelieving. "How can you not?" he croaked. "I have blamed you," he admitted begrudgingly.

"See?" Hawke said, then the words sunk in. "Wait, what? What do you blame me for?" he asked, taking a seat nearby on the stairs.

Fenris sighed, rapping his head on the back of the chair. "For letting your emotions guide your actions. For being the type of man she couldn't help but love. For not trusting her."

"Trusting?!" Hawke said angrily. "I'm not the one who left!"

Fenris looked up at him, his bloodshot eyes seeming to glare through him. "And if your positions were reversed? You would not have left to protect her, and all of us?" he asked, his words slurring slightly. "You cannot tell me you wouldn't. It is her greatest fear, though I do not understand why."

"I don't want to get into it now, because everyone is headed here," Hawke said with a sigh. "I'd rather only do this once." He stood and walked over to Fenris, putting out his hand to help him up. "We'd better get you sobered up a bit before they all show up. I know how you hate to not be seen at your best."

Fenris looked at his hand, then up to his face. "You don't hate me?" he asked, to be certain.

"No," Hawke replied. "You… all of you, are my friends, my family. I need you."

Fenris nodded, and reached out, taking Hawke's outstretched hand.